Wrestlemania III
Date: March 29, 1987
Location: Pontiac Silverdome, Pontiac, Michigan
Attendance: 93,173
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
America The Beautiful: Aretha Franklin

Well if you insist. This might be the show that I’ve seen more than any other in history as I regularly put it on to go to sleep, as it’s just such pleasant viewing. It’s one of the biggest shows of all time with the biggest main event in history. Throw in…oh come on. It’s Wrestlemania III. You know what this is all about so let’s get to it.

And in case it needs to be addressed again, the exact attendance of the show is A WHOLE LOT OF PEOPLE. Be it 78,000 or 93,173 or whatever it is in the middle, the WWF packed an NFL stadium and it’s a show that is still talked about going on forty years later. If you’re trying to argue that the attendance being ONLY pushing 80,000, you’re probably reading the wrong thing right now.

We open with the first (of a bunch) iconic shot of the show, with the camera near the top of the stadium and panning across to show all of the people. That’s one of those famous shots in the company’s history and it’s no wonder that it’s been played so many times.

Vince McMahon introduces Aretha Franklin to sing America The Beautiful, with just a hint of the Mr. McMahon voice coming out.

We meet commentary, plus special guests Mary Hart (from Entertainment Tonight) and Bob Uecker (famously not very good baseball player who wound up being a great TV personality and broadcaster).

Can-Am Connection vs. Bob Orton/Magnificent Muraco

Mr. Fuji is here with the villains and the Connection (Tom Zenk/Rick Martel) are basically the prototype for Strike force. Muraco shoves Zenk away to start and actually gets shouldered down. It’s off to Martel, who blind tags his way out of a headlock, setting up a double monkey flip. A double hiptoss drops Orton as well as they’re off to a fast start.

Back up and Orton gets slammed into an armbar from Zenk as Monsoon says Orton has “excellence of execution”. Orton gets a full nelson but Muraco’s cheap shot hits Orton by mistake to give Zenk two. Zenk comes in to work on the arm as well but a quick knee cuts Zenk down. Back up and a collision gives us a double knockdown, allowing the tag back to Martel. Everything breaks down and the villains are sent into each other, with Muraco backdropping Orton. A double dropkick sets up a crossbody (with a trip) to pin Muraco at 5:38.

Rating: C+. This would have been a dark match in more modern times but for this era, it was a great way to start things off. They didn’t waste time and got out of there pretty quickly with the young, pretty boy team beating the villains. Orton and Muraco were never really in control for any extended period of time and it was just shy of a squash. Fun opener here, even if it doesn’t mean much of anything.

We recap Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes, which is a battle of the full nelson between two strong guys.

Hercules, with Bobby Heenan, is ready to use his strength to show Haynes that he is the true master of the full nelson. Heenan insists that it is actually Billy “Jerk” Haynes.

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules

Bobby Heenan is here with Hercules and since the teams were in the ring to start the opener, we get the first glimpse of the ring carts here. They go nose to nose to start and Haynes backs him into the corner, where the referee gets between them in something you don’t often see. A cheap shot cuts Haynes off but Hercules has to bail from the threat of a full nelson.

One heck of a clothesline drops Haynes and things slow down. A backdrop and hard whip into the corner have Haynes’ back in more trouble, though Monsoon wonders why he isn’t working on the neck to set up the full nelson. Hercules covers him off a suplex but pulls up at two, which has Gorilla and Ventura mildly freaking out.

Back up and the full nelson, or at least something close to it (the fingers aren’t locked) goes on, with Haynes going down anyway. Two arm drops trigger the comeback so Hercules decks him from behind in a smart move. A double clothesline leaves both of them down before Haynes makes the clothesline comeback. The full nelson goes on but Hercules pulls them through the ropes for a crash outside. Haynes gets the full nelson on again but it’s a double countout at 7:53.

Rating: C-. Not much to this one as it was a fairly slow power match with the result not really giving us anything. It’s still strange to see something like this at Wrestlemania but it’s a rather different era. The good thing though is that they didn’t stay out there very long, which takes away a lot of the issues. Haynes is a guy who had a great look but never went very far in the WWF before bailing (as he did multiple times in various companies).

Post match Heenan knees Haynes in the back so the chase is on, allowing Hercules to get in a chain shot and bust Hayes open (notice Haynes blading on camera). The full nelson goes on as well, likely setting up house show rematches.

King Kong Bundy, with his midgets (that’s what they’re called on this show so we’ll stay with that for now) threatens to crush various people.

Hillbilly Jim promises to protect his smaller friends, who he picks up for a beard pull.

Hillbilly Jim/Little Beaver/Haiti Kid vs. King Kong Bundy/Lord Littlebrook/Little Tokyo

Bob Uecker is on commentary and actually treats it seriously, clarifying that the sizes have to match (not so much the age, as Beaver was 53 here while Tokyo was 58, compared to the 35 year old Jim and the 32 year old Bundy). Tokyo headlocks Kid over to start and it’s a four way criss cross until Beaver and Kid do their rowboat spot. We settle down to Tokyo vs. Beaver as Uecker seems rather happy to be here.

Littlebrook comes in as Ventura wants to see Bundy crush one of the midgets. Beaver runs over to get in a cheap shot on Bundy, who is tagged in from the apron, which isn’t exactly legal. Beaver’s dropkick doesn’t do much to Bundy so it’s off to Jim for a clothesline and jumping elbow. The group pin gets two and Bundy grabs a front facelock on Jim, with Beaver coming in for the save. That’s enough for Bundy, who slams Beaver down and drops the big elbow, which is enough for the DQ at 3:24.

Rating: C. This is one of those matches where there isn’t much to get. It’s designed to be comedy or for the kids in the audience, which is fine when they just do something goofy. At the same time, it’s hard to fathom how far Bundy fell after headlining the show the previous year. In something a lot more serious, unfortunately the big elbow to Beaver led to the end of his in-ring career, as he never wrestled again.

Randy Savage isn’t going to let Elizabeth be interviewed by Mary Hart and offers to take any questions Hart may have. Hart to Elizabeth: “Is it always this way?” Savage rushes Elizabeth out of there but tells Hart that his phone number is on his license plate. Hart: “You are a real charmer.” And an incredible star, as the charisma here was incredible.

We recap Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog. Race is the King of the WWF and wants the Dog to bow to him but Dog wasn’t interested. Instead, Race, with Bobby Heenan, tried to force him to bow. That’s enough to set up a match, but I’d be more annoyed at the crown having a string to help hold it on. They can’t get something a bit more customized?

Race promises to make Dog bow and the Queen (Fabulous Moolah) is told to keep the crown.

The Dog thinks Race has been on the throne too long.

Junkyard Dog vs. Harley Race

Bob Uecker runs off commentary because he is apparently in love with Moolah. As….someone must have been. Dog slugs away to start and knocks him outside, followed by a headbutt back inside. Race hits a headbutt to the ribs and they go outside, where Race misses a falling headbutt.

A clothesline sends Race over the top and back inside, followed by another to put him outside again, with Race’s face landing on the apron. Back in again and Race fights out of an abdominal stretch and hits a falling headbutt, which huts himself again. Dog whips him over the corner and hits some headbutts on all fours. Heenan offers a distraction though and Race grabs a belly to belly for the pin at 3:19.

Rating: C. This was another short one and somehow might have set a record for the most headbutts attempted in any match. The interesting thing here is that it felt like Race was doing something beneath him, but you could still see how graceful he was with some of his bumping. It made Dog, who wasn’t exactly great on his best day, look that much better here, which is quite the feat.

Post match Race puts on the robe and sits in his chair, which is quite the visual. Dog does bow, then hits Race with the chair and steals the robe and crown, because he’s a sore loser.

Hulk Hogan is not happy with people suggesting that he is ready to take his last ride. At some point you have to face the truth, which is what Andre The Giant will do today. Andre is going to have to face every Hulkamaniac. Hogan: “They say if the dirty air doesn’t get you, the politicians will.” After that line that I have not understood for over thirty seven years, Hogan promises to win.

The Dream Team says don’t worry about Dino Bravo being in their corner.

Rougeau Brothers vs. Dream Team

The Dream Team, with Luscious Johnny V and Dino Bravo, gets an entrance while the Rougeaus are already in the ring. Ventura praises Greg Valentine’s new robe. To be fair, that is a rather snazzy robe. As usual, Ventura can’t remember which Rougeau is which and asks Monsoon in an exchange that illustrates why they sounded like normal people from time to time. Ventura can’t remember which Rougeau he’s seeing, Monsoon says it’s Raymond (the one with the mustache) and Ventura sounds grateful. How often do you see that in wrestling?

Anyway, Raymond takes over on Valentine to start and hands it off to Jacques, who misses a spinning middle rope crossbody, allowing Valentine to drop some elbows, as he is known to do. Beefcake comes in to stomp away and a top rope forearm to the head/backbreaker combination hits Jacques.

Bobby Heenan joins commentary and says he is 2/2 today as Valentine gets the Figure Four, sending Jacques to the rope. Monsoon calls out Heenan for King Kong Bundy’s loss, but Heenan doesn’t “deal with midgets”. Jacques gets over to Raymond for the tag and Le Bombe de Rougeau connects but Bravo gets in a cheap shot, allowing Valentine to steal the pin at 4:05.

Rating: C. Another short match which didn’t mean much but hearing Monsoon and Heenan arguing is always worth a look. It’s another match where they don’t have much of a story and it’s just two teams doing things, which is acceptable enough. Anytime you can get Le Bombe de Rougeau, it’s a pretty good day. Well maybe not for the Rougeaus, but at least it was entertaining while it lasted.

Post match Beefcake gets left in the ring for some reason with the other villains leaving. No one exactly gets what’s going on with Beefcake and…yeah it doesn’t make a ton of sense. Unless he’s just having a sudden crisis of conscience, it comes out of nowhere, at least with what we’re seeing here.

We recap Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis in Piper’s farewell match, which is hair vs. hair. Adonis had paid off Piper’s bodyguard Bob Orton and Piper was livid, even more so when Piper’s Pit was turned into the Flower Shop when Piper was gone making a movie. Piper came back and wrecked the place, earning a beating from Adonis and Orton. On top of that, Adonis sprayed perfume in Piper’s face, with Ventura thinking it was due to a bad case of halitosis. This was a heck of a hot feud, as Piper looked like he wanted to kill Adonis.

Piper says he’s not going out like a coward. No defeat and no surrender. Piper was bringing the fire here.

Adonis, with Jimmy Hart, is ready to cut Piper’s hair.

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Adonis has Jimmy Hart with him. Piper has to walk to the ring (as his cart stalled), which just feels appropriate. They start fast with Piper whipping him with a belt but Adonis takes it away and unloads on Piper as well. A clothesline sends Adonis to the floor so Piper drags him, and Hart, inside for a double noggin knocker. Hart gets whipped into Adonis for a crash out to the floor. Ventura: “THIS IS TERRIBLE! THIS IS HORRIBLE!”

Back in and Piper unloads on Adonis before throwing Hart onto him again. Adonis rakes away at the chest and drops him with a shot to the face as Hart is barely able to stand on the floor. An elbow sends Piper to the floor and Adonis sends him into a table so Hart gets in a cheap shot of his own. Adonis hammers away so Piper tells him to bring it, only for Hart to spray him with perfume.

Good Night Irene (sleeper) goes on and Piper can’t shake it off or break it with some rams into the corner. The arm drops twice and Adonis just lets go, with the arm not going down yet. Cue Brutus Beefcake (whose hair Adonis had accidentally cut earlier in the year) to wake Piper up so Adonis swings his hedge clippers, which bounce off the ropes and hit himself in the head. Piper grabs his own sleeper for the win at 6:55.

Rating: B. No it might not be good, but this is an absolute blast of a match with Piper being so over the top and having such a good time with Hart and Adonis that it’s just so much fun. Piper was on his way out and gets to do one more entertaining match because he earned the whole thing. It would have been interesting to see him as a good guy for a longer time in his prime but going out on a high note like this is good too.

Post match Beefcake cuts a bunch of Adonis’ hair, with Piper throwing it around. Adonis wakes up and is shown his haircut, which sends Adonis into a frenzy. It doesn’t really get him very far as Piper keeps skipping away, leaving Adonis to crash out to the floor. Piper celebrates and a fan runs into the ring, gets a hug, and is promptly handcuffed while Piper leaves in a funny moment. Of note: the hedge clippers that Adonis used would become Beefcake’s trademark as he became the Barber after the match. Throw in Adonis being the one to give Piper his trademark leather jacket and it’s quite the influential feud.

Jesse Ventura has left commentary to be presented to the crowd, with Bob Uecker accusing him of going to be with Fabulous Moolah.

Ventura is indeed presented to the crowd before the next match, which he would do for the next two Wrestlemanias for some reason.

The Hart Foundation and Jimmy Hart are ready for war with DANNY DAVIS as their new member.

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana

Bob Uecker and Mary Hart are on commentary. So this is ALL about Davis, who was a referee who cost the Bulldogs and Santana their titles through being all evil. He was promptly suspended “for life plus ten years” (he refereed again later on because wrestling) so Jimmy Hart has turned him into a wrestler, making his debut here.

The fans are desperate to see Davis get absolutely massacred here and he has absolutely insane heat. The good guys get to do their entrance and Uecker AGAIN does a great job of setting up Monsoon to recap the story, treating this totally seriously (in his own fun way) and being as good of a celebrity broadcaster as you’ll ever find in wrestling. Matilda (the bulldog mascot) chases the villains to the floor and Santana jumps Neidhart before we officially get going.

Ventura takes Matilda to the back as Bret is dropped face first out of the corner. Neidhart comes in as Mary Hart goes on a rather annoying rant about how she is NOT related to Jimmy. Santana leapfrogs Neidhart and hands it off to Smith to hammer away. Smith avoids Bret’s elbow and hands it off to Dynamite, who gets headbutted down. Dynamite gets punched in the corner and Neidhart adds a cheap shot as Monsoon says that Bret, just like Bob Orton, has Excellence Of Execution.

Something close to a Demolition Decapitator hits Dynamite and it’s off to Davis for a few stomps. He immediately hands it off to Bret with the biggest grin, because he knows how to be a heel. Unfortunately Mary is asking what Dynamite has to do to get out of the ring in this TAG match. Davis comes back in for two more stomps and gets out again with his big grin. Bret tries a slingshot but Davis lands on raised knees, allowing Santana to come in and hammer on Davis, with the fans going NUTS.

A backdrop sets up the flying forearm before Santana just unloads on him with some right hands. Neidhart breaks up the Figure Four so Smith comes in for a heck of a clothesline and a jumping Tombstone. That’s not enough for the cover so Smith grabs a suplex to drop Davis again. The running powerslam gets two with Neidhart making the save. Everything breaks down and Jimmy slips in the megaphone so Davis can knock Smith out for the win at 8:53.

Rating: B. While it might be stretching the idea of having Davis escape one more time, sweet goodness the crowd reactions here were incredible. Davis was getting absolutely molten heat here and the fans were dying to see him get crushed. I could have gone for seeing the good guys win, but stretching it out wasn’t the worst idea.

Bobby Heenan (now in the famous white tuxedo) promises that Hulkamania is over tonight because Andre The Giant will be the new World Champion. Heenan’s confidence here is even higher than usual as he really feels like this is the be all and end all for him.

Koko B. Ware vs. Butch Reed

Slick is here with Reed as we have a bit of a Mid-South reunion here. Ware tries to pick up the pace to start by running over Reed and then dropkicks him out to the floor. Back in and Reed drops Ware to take over and we look at Frankie the parrot trying to eat the camera. Ware comes back with some right hands and a dropkick before a small package gets two. Back up and Ware tries a crossbody but Reed rolls through and grabs the tights for the pin at 3:38.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here with the two of them just having a quick match without going very far. Reed felt like he could have been something bigger in the company but it never quite panned out. Having him around here was fine, but there is only so much you can do in a match this short with nothing going on.

Post match Slick goes after Ware but Tito Santana pops up to rip off Slick’s suit as he and Ware have been having issues lately. Santana and Ware clear out Reed too.

We recap Ricky Steamboat vs. Randy Savage for the Intercontinental Title. Savage injured Steamboat with an ax handle to send Steamboat throat first into the barricade and then crushed his throat with the ring bell. Steamboat returned anyway and wanted revenge while teaming up with George Steele, who had been feuding with Savage for several months.

Savage is ready to beat Steamboat and get him out of the ring because he is the lord and master. “History beckons the Macho Man.” What an amazing line.

Steamboat says they are going to meet like titans and the Dragon is going to scorch Savage’s back.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

Steamboat, with George Steele, is challenging and Miss Elizabeth is with Savage, who gets a face pop so big that even commentary has to acknowledge it. They lock up to start and Steamboat shoves him to the floor as Ventura says Steamboat was able to come back because he has a lot of throat. The armdrags have Savage in trouble and Steamboat lifts him up with a choke.

Back in and Savage gets in a kick of his own as even Monsoon has to admit that Savage is pretty incredible. Steamboat comes back with a crank on the arm and snaps it over the top but Savage elbows him in the face. Savage drops a knee for two but gets sent face first into the buckle. A crossbody gives Steamboat two and it’s another armdrag into some shoulder blocks. Savage comes back with a jumping knee to the back but Steamboat is fine enough to skin the cat.

That just earns him a clothesline over the top because as good as Steamboat is, Savage is incredibly smart in his own right. Another running knee sends Steamboat crashing over the barricade, with Steele having to help him back over while the referee yells at Savage. Ventura gets on Monsoon, who wanted managers to be less hands on. Monsoon: “That’s not a manager. That’s a friend.” I feel terrible for this one but screw off with that nonsense Monsoon.

The top rope ax handle drills Steamboat and an atomic drop gets two back inside. Steamboat flips out of a belly to back suplex and backdrops Savage over the top for a heck of a bump to the floor. Back in and Steamboat dives off the top and over the referee to chop Savage in the head (I love that shot). Steamboat starts firing off the chops and Savage is knocked outside again. A sunset flip and some rollups get two each on Savage as even Ventura has to admit that this match is incredible.

Steamboat catapults him face first into the post for two but Savage pulls the tights to send Steamboat shoulder first into the post. Back up and a reversed whip takes out the referee and Savage hits his signature clothesline (where he lands on his back for some reason). The top rope elbow connects….and there’s no referee. Savage goes to grab the bell but Steele shoves him off the top, with Savage crashing down onto said bell (close enough). Back up and Steamboat small packages him for the pin and the title at 14:31 in one of the most famous finishes in history.

Rating: A+. I mean…what do you want me to say? Yeah it might be a cliche to say this is one of the best matches ever but that’s exactly what it is. You have two of the best of all time in a match that was way ahead of its time with the fast pace and near falls. There’s nothing close to bad in the whole thing and it feels like it is one of the biggest showdowns you’ll ever see. In short, this is a classic for a reason, or in this case, multiple reasons.

Savage goes back in the card with his head in his hands, completely destroyed.

Jake Roberts, with Alice Cooper, is ready to get revenge on Honky Tonk Man for hitting him with a guitar.

Honky Tonk Man thinks the fans want to hear his song rather than something by Alice Cooper.

Honky Tonk Man vs. Jake Roberts

Jimmy Hart and Alice Cooper are here too. Roberts jumps him to start and knocks him outside before the Elvis suit can come off. The beating goes to the floor, with Roberts getting in a slam as the beating is on in a hurry. Back in and Roberts charges into a knee in the corner but he’s right back with the short arm clothesline. The threat of a DDT sends Honky Tonk bailing to the floor, where he manages to post Roberts for a breather.

Back in and the middle rope fist drop hits Roberts, followed by an elbow to the face (by “Honk” according to Monsoon). The Shake Rattle And Roll (he couldn’t get past the Shake) is broken up and Roberts is back with an atomic drop. There’s a backdrop to Honky Tonk and he gets tied in the ropes for some right hands. The DDT is teased but Hart grabs the leg, allowing Honky Tonk to get a rollup (with a grab of the rope) for the pin at 7:05.

Rating: C. There was only so much to get out of this one as Honky Tonk wasn’t going to have the best matches and this was more about Roberts’ revenge. That’s not what he got anyway, but it’s not like Roberts was ever going to win many big matches. Honky Tonk Man had something much bigger coming, but you wouldn’t have bet on it here…which is kind of the entire point.

Post match Hart and Cooper get in the ring, with Roberts holding Hart back so Cooper can throw Damien on him. This show has been very full of sore losers.

Gene Okerlund announces the attendance record.

Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff vs. Killer Bees

Slick is with the villains and is still in his torn suit. Volkoff sings the Soviet national anthem, which draws out newcomer Jim Duggan (yes the 2×4 has an American flag) to break it up because THIS IS AMERICA. The villains jump them from behind to get started but are sent into the corners to cut them off. Blair comes in to work on Sheik’s arm and the Bees take turns working on said arm. Everything breaks down as the ring is full of trash from the anthem.

Sheik elbows Brunzell down and it’s back to Volkoff for a bearhug (which has Brunzell looking like he’s being tortured to death). A suplex (almost a Jackhammer) gives Sheik two but Brunzell knees him down. The referee misses the tag thanks to a distraction though and everything breaks down. Sheik camel clutches Brunzell so Duggan blasts him in the back with the 2×4 for the DQ at 5:51.

Rating: D. This is a good example of a match that did not need to be here and served little more than to stretch things out until the main event was ready to go. It really didn’t need to happen and it’s not like there was much going on anyway. If nothing else, it continues to amaze me that Sheik and Volkoff were a team for so long. They won the Tag Team Titles two years ago at the first Wrestlemania and they’re still here.

Post match Duggan says he’ll do that every time Volkoff tries to disgrace America. As Ventura puts it: why are the Bees ok with Duggan costing them a match? Shouldn’t they be mad?

Andre The Giant is ready to be the World Champion and Bobby Heenan agrees.

We recap Hulk Hogan vs. Andre The Giant. They had been friends for years but then Bobby Heenan got in Andre’s head and asked why he never got a title shot from Hogan. Andre snapped (well as much as he’s ever going to snap) and tore the shirt off of Hogan’s back (ripping his cross off by mistake in the process), challenging him for the title at “the Wrestlemania.” Hogan agreed and it’s time for the biggest match of all time.

Hogan is ready and poses.

Bob Uecker, the guest ring announcer and Mary Hart, the guest timekeeper, are brought out.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Andre The Giant

Andre, with Bobby Heenan, is challenging. Hogan’s entrance is rather incredible, with him getting the big spotlight and walking all the way to the ring as Ventura does the tale of the tape (and even admits that Hogan’s biceps are “phenomenal”). Ventura: “This is the biggest match in the history of professional wrestling.” That’s pretty accurate, yep. The bell rings and we get the staredown, which is your next iconic shot of the show.

Hogan wastes no time in Hulking Up before hammering away and trying a slam, only for Andre to fall onto him. This gives us a VERY close two, which was controversial enough that it enough for the feud to continue for another year. Andre slowly starts in on the back and hits a pair of slams before stepping over Hogan to keep him down. Some whips into the corner make it worse as Andre is barely having to do much here, mainly because he couldn’t. Andre misses a headbutt and hits the corner, allowing Hogan to hammer away for the hope spot.

Ten straight rams into the buckle have Andre staggered but he gets the boot up to cut off the charge. The bearhug goes on for awhile (I still don’t get the criticism that this kills the match as it’s really not that long) but Hogan slugs away for the break. A running shoulder has Andre staggered again until he hits a big chop. Andre boots him out to the floor but accidentally headbutts the post.

Hogan, ever the hero, pulls back the floor mats and tries a piledriver, which is easily blocked with a backdrop. Back in (I can give you the commentary word for word from here on) and Andre misses a big boot, allowing Hogan to drop him with a clothesline. Heenan is beside himself as Hogan Hulks Up and slams Andre (there’s your other iconic shot) to drop the leg and retain the title at 11:32. Ventura: “UNBELIEVABLE!” If you could sway Jesse, you could get anyone.

Rating: B-. No it isn’t particularly good, no it isn’t anything that hasn’t been done better and no it was never going to much better than that. What mattered here was giving Hogan the win against the biggest (non-Sammartino) name of the previous generation. It’s a VERY simple story (Hogan gets hurt, he gets beaten down, he survives long enough to Hulk Up and uses the power of Hulkamania to slay the Giant) but it was a good enough stadium match to get by. That and the whole “it’s the biggest match ever” kind of helps.

Andre and Heenan leave in the card, with Heenan’s head in his hands as he realizes he’s lost everything. Hogan poses a lot and gets in his cat, which is elevated so more people can see him in a smart move.

Ventura and Gorilla wrap up the show and we get a stills package to end the show, set to Aretha Franklin.

Overall Rating: B. I’ve watched this show more times than I can count for over thirty years and that’s because it just works. It’s a perfect example of a show that flows so well, with only a few spots that drag. The show has twelve matches and two of them break nine minutes. Even the worst matches on the card are out of there quickly enough that they don’t do much damage, which is part of the reason why the show is just over three hours.

At the same time, this was the show that set the standard for what Wrestlemania would become. Rather than a big house show or whatever the second edition was, it was “here’s a huge main event with enough on the undercard to fill a stadium”. That would become the standard for Wrestlemania down the line and it started here, making it one of the most important shows of all time.

Overall, Wrestlemania III is a show that changed the way the wrestling world worked and it still works to this day. You could tell that everyone was wanting it to go as well as it could and for once they actually pulled it off. No the matches aren’t all great, but it has that huge feeling that you cannot fake. It’s a show that will always work and I was enjoying it all over again here, which isn’t something you see very often. Check it out again if you haven’t in awhile, or even if you have really, as it’s always worth the time.

Ratings Comparison

Can-Am Connection vs. Bob Orton/Don Muraco

Original: B+
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: C+

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: C
2025 Redo: C-

Hillbilly Jim/Haiti Kid/Little Beaver vs. King Kong Bundy/Little Tokyo/Lord Littlebrook

Original: F
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Rougeau Brothers vs. Dream Team

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: B

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana

Original: C
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: B

Koko B. Ware vs. Butch Reed

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: D+

Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A+
2025 Redo: A+

Jake Roberts vs. Honky Tonk Man

Original: C
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C-
2025 Redo: C

Killer Bees vs. Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: D

Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Original: A
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: B+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: B

Sweet goodness I’ve been all over the place with this show over the years.

 

 

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Wrestlemania II
Date: April 7, 1986
Locations: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, New York City, New York/Rosemont Horizon, Chicago, Illinois/Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,585 (New York), 9,000 (Chicago), 14,500 (Los Angeles), 40,085 (Total)
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Susan St. James (New York), Gene Okerlund, Gorilla Monsoon, Cathy Lee Crosby (Chicago), Lord Alfred Hayes, Jesse Ventura, Elvira (Los Angeles)

Vince McMahon is in New York to welcome us to the show and introduce Ray Charles to sing America the Beautiful. As would become the custom, various images of American landscapes, military and run of the mill citizens are superimposed over the performance. Charles does an amazing rendition of the song and the fans give him the ovation he deserves.

Gene Okerlund is in Chicago to talk about the battle royal. By talk about I mean he mentions it and then throws it to the next interview.

The Magnificent Muraco vs. Paul Orndorff

Paul cranks on the arm and my goodness Muraco is sweating quite a bit. We hit a wristlock, which St. James calls an ancient Chinese technique. At least she sounds happy to be here so I can excuse some of here bad lines. Muraco gets in a right hand and they brawl to the floor for a double countout at 4:10. The fans loudly swear at the result.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. George Steele

Rating: D-. What the heck was that? I know Steele had been feuding with Savage for a long time but this was the best they could do for a major match? Total disaster here with the comedy not working and Savage just coming back and grabbing a win at the end. Savage winning was the right idea, but you could have cut a lot of the goofiness out of this to make for a better, or at least less bad match.

George eats another turnbuckle and chases the referee off.

Big John Studd and NFL player Bill Fralic talk trash before the WWF vs. NFL battle royal in Chicago. The announcement of Savage retaining in New York drowns out the yelling.

McMahon and St. James talk about the next match.

George Wells vs. Jake Roberts

Jake wraps the snake around Wells post match, making Wells foam at the mouth.

Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper

Round two begins with Mr. T. claiming that Piper has a bunch of grease on his face. Mr. T. gets him into the corner and hammers away as these are clearly fake punches since both guys would be dead otherwise. Piper gets in some heavy rights in the corner and actually knocks him down to a big cheer from the crowd. Even more bombs have Mr. T. in trouble as the round ends.

Off to Chicago. The ring looks much smaller here.

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Corporal Kirchner

Battle Royal

WWF: Pedro Morales, Tony Atlas, Ted Arcidi, Dan Spivey, Hillbilly Jim, King Tonga, Iron Sheik, B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, John Studd, Bret Hart, Jim Neidhart, Bruno Sammartino, Andre the Giant

NFL: Jimbo Covert, Harvey Martin, Ernie Holmes, Bill Fralic, Russ Francis, William Perry

Rating: D+. Not much to see here and they made no secret of the fact that Andre was the obvious winner. The football players were really just a novelty so you could have a battle royal without looking like it was an easy way to get people on the card. They kept this short and to the point which helps things out quite a bit. Perry got the crowd going and Andre winning was the right call so no one is hurt here.

Back in New York, Piper says Mr. T. and William Perry are both cheaters. Piper denies cheating by shoving the referee.

Covert says he got cheated when someone jumped him from behind.

Iron Sheik says he proved wrestling is tougher than football.

We recap the end of the battle royal.

Tag Team Titles: British Bulldogs vs. Dream Team

Rating: B. Match of the night by far here with Dynamite taking one heck of a bump to end the match. The Bulldogs were a great team and they definitely deserved the titles and they did it in a tag match that went completely against the common tag team formula. Unfortunately it felt like it was much more about a way to get Osbourne on screen, which is only going to get worse.

Vince and Susan talk about the title change and preview the main event.

The Los Angeles announcers (Jesse Ventura, Elvira, Lord Alfred Hayes) preview their section of the card.

Hercules Hernandez vs. Ricky Steamboat

Uncle Elmer vs. Adrian Adonis

Hogan is ready to step inside a cage with King Kong Bundy after Bundy damaged his ribs a few months ago. All Hogan wants is for Bobby Heenan to try to get involved.

Funk Brothers vs. Junkyard Dog/Tito Santana

The announcers have an awkward chat as the cage is assembled.

In New York, Susan St. James picks Hogan.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Hogan beats up Heenan and poses to end the show as Vince wraps it up from New York.

Ratings Comparison

Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

George Steele vs. Randy Savage

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D-

Jake Roberts vs. George Wells

Original: F

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Roddy Piper vs. Mr. T.

Original: F

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

Velvet McIntyre vs. Fabulous Moolah

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Corporal Kirschner vs. Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D-

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Battle Royal

Original: B

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

British Bulldog vs. Dream Team

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B

Rick Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Uncle Elmer vs. Adrian Adonis

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: F

Tito Santana/Junkyard Dog vs. Terry Funk/Hoss Funk

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Original: B-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Wrestlemania II is….weird. Like, really weird.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/09/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-2-what-the-hell-were-they-thinking/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/11/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-ii-three-times-the-suck/

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania I
Date: March 31, 1985
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 19,121
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

The opening video is a montage of shots of the matches tonight with the Wrestlemania logo in the middle. Not exactly high thinking stuff but it was a simpler time.

Tito Santana vs. The Executioner

S.D. Jones, a self described music man, is more than ready for King Kong Bundy on the biggest show ever.

King Kong Bundy promises a splash and a five count.

King Kong Bundy vs. S.D. Jones

Bundy shoves him into the corner and hits a pair of splashes for the pin at 24 seconds. This is billed as nine seconds for a record but it takes nearly double that much time for the first splash to connect. To continue the lying, Bundy only got a three count. How can I ever trust someone like that?

Matt Borne, a pretty generic heel (I mean he wears sunglasses inside. How can he possibly be a good guy?), thinks Ricky Steamboat is just too nice of a guy and needs to get beaten up.

Matt Borne vs. Ricky Steamboat

Steamboat is a newcomer and in trunks instead of tights here. Feeling out process to start and a big chop puts Borne down. A headlock has Borne in trouble and a big atomic drop makes him gyrate a bit. The left handed Borne comes back with some shots to the ribs and a hard whip into the corner, only to have Steamboat come back with chops and another headlock. Ricky wins a slugout and drops a knee for two. Back up and the high cross body gives Steamboat the pin at 4:38.

Brutus Beefcake vs. David Sammartino

Intercontinental Title: Junkyard Dog vs. Greg Valentine

Tag Team Titles: US Express vs. Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff

Rating: C-. This was just for the historical value and little more. Sheik and Volkoff getting the titles was a major surprise but they would drop them back to the Express just a few months later. They kept the formula simple here as the Express dominated until the very end where the villains cheated to take the belts. Quick and efficient here to give the show something historic.

Andre the Giant vs. Big John Studd

In the back, Andre laughs off the idea of retiring.

Richter and Lauper spin around in circles post match. They continue to be happy in the back after the match.

Roddy Piper/Paul Orndorff vs. Mr. T./Hulk Hogan

Piper decks Patterson and leaves. Orndorff wakes up and has no idea what happened but leaves without any violence.

We look back at the ending as everyone leaves.

Mr. T. says this is real and not for wimps. Hogan says that was what it was all about. Snuka says these men are his brothers. He would be gone soon after this.

Gorilla and Jesse wrap it up.

A package of stills from the show and the credits (a sign of the times) take us out.

Ratings Comparison

Tito Santana vs. Executioner

Original: C

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

King Kong Bundy vs. S.D. Jones

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Ricky Steamboat vs. Matt Borne

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Brutus Beefcake vs. David Sammartino

Original: D-

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Junkyard Dog vs. Greg Valentine

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik vs. US Express

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C-

Andre the Giant vs. Big John Studd

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: F+

Lelani Kai vs. Wendi Richter

Original: B

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Hulk Hogan/Mr. T. vs. Paul Orndorff/Roddy Piper

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C-

Forgive me on the first version. It was literally the first review I’ve ever done so I actually didn’t know what I was doing yet.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/08/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-1-just-a-big-house-show/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/10/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-i-it-all-starts-with-a-tag-match/

 

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

WWF Rampage 1991
Hosts: Sean Mooney, Gene Okerlund, Bobby Heenan
Commentators: Lord Alfred Hayes, Sean Mooney, Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan, Jim Neidhart, Vince McMahon, Roddy Piper

We’re still on the WWE Vault with another Coliseum Video, which should make for a bit of fun. These things are the definition of hit and miss but we can often see something good in there somewhere. Then again there can also be some drek to get through as this isn’t the best time for the company. Let’s get to it.

We’re on a golf course with Gene Okerlund and Bobby Heenan giving us some tips. Gene says his handicap is Heenan, who almost looks like a clown and thinks they’re about to play tennis.

From Fresno, California, June 18, 1991.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. British Bulldog

Perfect, with Coach (gah that didn’t work), is defending. Bulldog wastes no time in shoving him down and easily wins an exchange of shoulders. After a breather on the floor, Perfect is smart enough to not go for a test of strength. Bulldog accuses him of being a chicken, which Hayes does not think is the British way. For some reason Perfect tries a test of strength and immediately screams “AH YOU SON OF A B****!”

Even commentary has to cover for that one, thankfully with Bulldog getting two off a rollup. They trade sunset flips for two each and Bulldog gets in a bunch of rams into the corner on various turnbuckles. Perfect is back up with a shot of his own though and we slow back down for a breather. A Boston crab, with a grab of a rope, has Bulldog’s back in trouble but he powers out anyway. Perfect’s nice dropkick sends Bulldog outside, where Coach gets in some rather lame stomps.

Cue Bret Hart to chase Coach off so Perfect hits the Hennig necksnap but the referee almost gets bumped. After a bit of chastisement, Perfect goes with the sleeper and gets a pair of arm drops. That’s enough to make Bulldog fight up and he crotches Perfect on top, naturally with a hilarious sell. The referee gets bumped though and Bulldog can’t get a count off a small package. Coach comes in so Hart cuts him off and counts the pin because he’s a bit nuts at the moment. Hart and Perfect get in a fight and the referee sees it for the DQ at 9:32.

Rating: C+. Nice enough stuff here and that shouldn’t be surprising given who was in there. These two are talented stars who can have a good match with anyone and they had a bit of time here. That being said, the ending felt like a bit of an escape hatch and having Hart counting the pin was just kind of nuts.

Post match Hart beats up Perfect even more but Bulldog isn’t overly happy.

Gene hits a shot which seems to be good, though there is nothing in the way of tips. Well other than where to send a postcard to request a fan favorite match.

From New York City, April 22, 1991.

Warlord vs. Texas Tornado

Commentary argues over which of these two is smarter and….yeah all hail the Warlord. They take their time to lock up and then stop to pose some more, with Warlord not being happy at not being so popular. We get the test of strength and Tornado goes down for a two count, which you don’t see very often. Tornado fights up and blocks a big boot, setting up the Tornado Punch.

For some reason Warlord doesn’t even go down, instead grabbing a bearhug. That’s finally broken up so Warlord knocks him to the floor, which Monsoon says is Tornado taking a break. Warlord drives him back first into the post and they come back in, with Tornado not being able to make a sunset flip work. The slow forearms to the back have Tornado in trouble, to the point where he can’t pick Warlord up.

Warlord misses….we’ll call it a splash so Tornado is up with the clothesline comeback. The Tornado Punch gets two with Warlord getting a foot on the rope. Tornado gets a sleeper but they crash out to the floor for the double countout at 9:18. Ignore Tornado being back in before the ten count, to the point where even Heenan thinks he made it.

Rating: D. Oh heck no as this was rather horrible with Tornado being pretty much useless. It’s a bad sign when Warlord is carrying the whole thing and then they had the lame finish on top of that. This was one of the worst matches I’ve seen in a good while and it somehow just kept getting worse.

Post match Tornado argues with the referee, probably asking where he parked his chicken.

From New York City, June 3, 1991.

Animal vs. Paul Roma

Before the match, Roma and Hercules have a coin toss to determine which one will face Animal, which might be slightly interesting if Mooney’s voiceover hadn’t said it would be Roma. Hercules just stays in the ring at the bell and distracts Animal so Roma can hammer away. They actually trade leapfrogs until Animal catches Roma with an atomic drop. A headbutt between the legs keeps Roma in trouble but he knocks Animal off the top to the floor.

Back in and Roma hammers away, setting up a rather high dropkick. Three straight backbreakers set up a top rope shot to Animal’s head as this is more one sided than you might think. Animal fights up and they trade reversals until the referee gets bumped. A flying shoulder hits Roma for no count so Hercules gets in a cheap shot. Roma accidentally missile dropkicks Hercules though, allowing Animal to grab a powerslam for the pin at 5:00.

Rating: C-. This was in the weird non-Hawk period for the Legion Of Doom and that isn’t the most memorable stretch of time for a reason. There wasn’t much to see here other than Animal winning a glorified handicap match, which thankfully didn’t last long. Roma’s dropkicks looked good at least.

It’s back to the golf course, where Gene explains the importance of a chip shot. Gene’s shot goes fairly well while Heenan’s club goes flying. They move on to a shot from a bunker, with Heenan advocating cheating while Gene hits a nice shot. Heenan cheats anyway and Gene is aghast. Finally we move on to putting, with Heenan cheating again to succeed, which has Gene stunned.

From Fresno, California, June 18, 1991.

Big Boss Man/Rockers vs. Nasty Boys/Mountie

In case you wanted the most 1991 match possible. Jimmy Hart is here with the villains and the Nastys are the Tag Team Champions. Knobbs holds up one of the titles in an early Ric Flair impression. Shawn, with his backwards neon green hat (again, 1991) starts with the Mountie but Shawn tags in Boss Man, who gets taken into the corner by Sags (for the first contact over two minutes in).

A fairly delayed powerslam plants Sags right back down Mountie comes in and gets spinebustered, with the villains being cleared out for a needed breather. Back in and Boss Man enziguris Knobbs so Jannetty can come in with a middle rope faceplant. A sunset flip gives Jannetty two and it’s back to Shawn for the superkick. Boss Man adds an elbow to the face and does that weird bouncing headlock of his.

Sags finally gets in a cheap shot from the apron and Boss Man crashes out to the floor so the villains can finally get control. Sags drops some elbows and Mountie’s elbow to the jaw gets two. To avoid being left out, Knobbs drops an elbow of his own for two more before taking Boss Man into the corner. The Rockers are drawn in, which is enough for the triple teaming to continue.

Mountie confirms his identity by shouting “I AM THE MOUNTIE!”, which is enough for Boss Man to fight up. Shawn comes in to clean house as everything breaks down. In the melee, Shawn intercepts the megaphone and knocks Knobs out, only to get shocked by Mountie’s shock stick. Not that it matters as Jannetty steals the pin at 10:12.

Rating: C+. This got better near the end but the heat segment didn’t last very long, meaning there was a lot of other stuff to cover the rest of the time. What helps here is the lineup was interesting enough that it gave for some nice options, which is the point of a six man tag. It’s not a great match but it’s perfectly fun for this kind of a spot.

From New York City, New York, June 3, 1991.

The Dragon vs. Smash

Sure why not. Demolition was done at this point and Smash was waiting for a new gimmick. The Dragon was Ricky Steamboat without being able to call him Ricky Steamboat because his divorce was really nasty (and ridiculous). Smash works on the arm to start but you know Steamboat is fine with doing something just like that. Back up and Steamboat has to skin the cat (of course) before sending Smash over the top.

Smash gets back in and is quickly armdragged into an armbar as Steamboat is quickly checking his boxes here. Some chops to the head (or about four inches in front of his head) have Smash in more trouble and we’re right back to the armdrag into the armbar. Back up and Smash gets something like a chokeslam to cut Steamboat down and a belly to back suplex gets two, with Monsoon really not being pleased with the technique.

The neck crank goes on for a bit before Smash sends him outside again, this time for a ram into the post. A slam on the floor and a backbreaker back inside sets up another neck crank, which he switches into a sleeper to keep Steamboat in trouble. Steamboat finally fights up and strikes away, setting up a dropkick to the floor. A middle rope dive to the floor takes Smash down again but he suplexes Steamboat back inside. Smash misses a charge though and the high crossbody gives Steamboat the win at 10:17.

Rating: D+. Oh come on what else were you expecting here? Steamboat can do something good with just about anyone but he needs something more than a bored Smash, who is barely a singles star in the first place. This did not work and was boring on top of going longer than it needed. If you have someone as talented as Steamboat, find a better way to use him.

From Green Bay, Wisconsin, May 7, 1991.

Jake Roberts vs. Barbarian

Barbarian, with Bobby Heenan, stalks him around to start and Jake’s left hands don’t do much good. An armbar doesn’t get Jake very far so Barbarian hammers away, at least until a knee lift takes him down. The threat of the DDT sends Barbarian bailing to the floor and we stall for a bit.

Back in and Barbarian pounds him down again, with Heenan getting in some choking. A backbreaker gives Barbarian two and he seems to rip at Jake’s face for a change. Jake’s short arm clothesline misses and Barbarian kicks him in the face, only for Jake to bounce back with a DDT. Cue Earthquake for a distraction so Jake busts out Damien and chases him off….for the countout at 7:27.

Rating: C-. Well, at least it was a bit shorter. This tape has hit a wall with the last two matches and I’m not sure I can see that getting much better. Barbarian is a prime example of someone who played a role perfectly well despite not being a big star. He was doing it again here, but Jake Roberts can’t beat the Barbarian in a match like this? That’s quite the stretch.

Bobby and Gene are seemingly off the course in an attempt to find a ball. Naturally, Bobby cheats again because that is his nature.

From London, England, April 24, 1991.

Greg Valentine vs. Haku

Oh come on. This is from the dreadful Valentine face run and he grabs a headlock to start. An atomic drop into a running elbow to the head sends Haku outside for a needed breather. Back in and Haku kind of bobs and weaves a bit before chopping away in the corner. Some backbreakers give Haku two and we hit the reverse chinlock.

Valentine fights up but gets caught in it again, only to fight up again (it worked the first time). Some rams into the buckle have Haku staggered, which has Vince a bit surprised on commentary. Piper: “Go after him Gregory!” The big elbow misses though and Haku strikes away again, only to get headbutted between the legs. The Figure Four attempt is blocked but Valentine grabs a sunset flip for the pin at 8:42.

Rating: C. This is a good example of a match that was technically fine but….who in the world was wanting to cheer Valentine? It’s just a weird idea and something that never exactly worked. That was on display here and while the match was ok because both of them are talented stars, it’s hard to get behind eternal heel Valentine, even against someone like Haku.

From Tuscon, Arizona, May 28, 1991.

Power & Glory vs. Orient Express

Slick and Mr. Fuji are here for a rather rare heel vs. heel match. We get a fairly long staredown to start until Hercules shoves Kato down to start. It works so well that Hercules does it again but Kato chops away in the corner. Hercules isn’t having that and blocks a whip out of the corner, only to miss an elbow. A gorilla press works a bit better on Tanaka as it’s weird to see the fans cheering for Power & Glory (at least more than they’re cheering for the Express).

Roma reminds the fans that the team is evil too and by coming in for a double clothesline. After some nice leapfrogs, Roma drops Tanaka again and hits a nice top rope elbow for two. Kato gets in a cheap shot though and comes in with an elbow to the face as things slow back down. Roma fights out of a chinlock but gets tripped by Fuji, giving us the threat of a manager brawl (actually….Slick vs. Fuji could be awesome).

Hercules gets drawn in so Tanaka can jump over Kato and onto Roma’s back for two. Roman jumps over a double clothesline and Hercules comes back in for his own double clothesline despite the lack of a tag. A heck of a dropkick to Kato gives Roma two and Tanaka’s sunset flip gets two more. Slick low bridges Kato down to the floor though and everyone goes outside for the double countout at 8:28.

Rating: C-. Not the worst match here, but dang it was more weird than anything else. Power & Glory fit into the good guys slot (albeit by default) pretty easily here and I could go for seeing them do it a bit more. That being said, I still want to see Slick vs. Fuji, as that just sounds fun. As in what a lot of this tape has not exactly been.

Back to the course, with Heenan lying to another player about where his ball went.

And now, At Home With Paul Bearer. After taking a very long time to get inside, Bearer is messing with a body in a casket, because he had to bring some of his work home. He apologizes for not tidying up and then sits down in something of a throne. Bearer offers us a drink, which might be made of human remains. He looks at some knickknacks, such as the Urn, a dead plant and a skull, plus a guillotine. This was pretty much little more than The WWF Addams Family and it wasn’t any good.

From Toronto, Ontario, Canada, June 2, 1991.

Undertaker vs. Ultimate Warrior

Paul Bearer is here with Undertaker. Warrior cleans house to start and hammers away, only to get his neck snapped over the top rope. Back in and Undertaker grabs Warrior by the face, which was a big thing for him back in the day. This goes on for far too long, with Warrior powering out after nearly three minutes of Undertaker just holding his face. Warrior fights up but gets knocked down again, only to avoid the big running elbow. Another comeback is cut off and Undertaker hits a quick Tombstone but Warrior pops up. Then Undertaker hits him with the Urn for the DQ at 7:44.

Rating: D-. Warrior did pretty much nothing here other than surviving the Tombstone but then the match just ended before anything else could happen. It isn’t a good sign when so much of the match was spent with the Undertaker just standing there with his hand over Warrior’s face. Pretty horrible match here, and probably the only reason this tape was uploaded in the first place.

Post match Undertaker and Bearer load up a body bag but Warrior fights out and clears the ring.

Heenan and Gene argue over who is paying for the golf and a golf cart chase takes us out.

Overall Rating: D+. There are a few passable matches early on in the tap to carry things but this just falls apart after the six man tag. It’s a pretty sad day when you have Greg Valentine vs. Haku as a high point for the second half of a nearly two hour tape. While there are worse tapes out there and this did have a nice variety (with no Hogan anywhere to be seen), but dang the match quality is just not there to back it up. Find something else to watch.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Invasion 1992
Host: Sean Mooney
Commentators: Sean Mooney, Lord Alfred Hayes, Gorilla Monsoon

It’s another Coliseum Video and that means a grand total of anyone’s best guess. Some of these things can be great but there is always the chance that it is all over the place. Since this is from the WWE Vault, there is a good chance that there is at least one good match involved so let’s get to it.

We have a Star Trek theme here, with Mooney as captain and promising some interesting surprises on this voyage. First up is a communication being intercepted: a fan request for our first match.

From Corpus Christi, Texas, December 2, 1991.

Hulk Hogan vs. Typhoon

Someone find that fan and smack him upside the head. The fans are behind Hogan to start and gets shoved around a few times. Hayes says it’s rare for Hogan to find himself against an opponent with a weight advantage. Has Hayes watched wrestling in the last few years? Mooney follows it up by talking about some of the massive opponents Hogan has faced, showing how stupid Hayes sounded.

Hogan shoves Typhoon and then avoids a charge to hammer away in the corner. Hart has to be knocked off the apron before Hogan slugs away and keeps calling Typhoon “FORMER FRIEND”. You know, that comes up a lot for Hogan so maybe he needs to do some self reflection. Typhoon fights back and slowly hammers away before grabbing the obvious bearhug. Hogan’s comeback sees him bounce off Typhoon and a splash in the corner gets two. The obvious comeback is obvious and Hogan finishes with the legdrop at 5:48.

Rating: D+. Hogan vs. a monster is as traditional of a formula as you can get but you have to give him something better than this. There is only so much that you can get out of Typhoon, who is as generic of a big guy as you can get. The more I see of Typhoon the more it becomes clear that he is just there because of his size and nothing more. Pretty horrible match here, as Hogan needed a better opponent.

Ric Flair and Mr. Perfect send a signal to the ship, saying they might as well take over because no one can give them a challenge. Mooney recognizes that Flair is the WWF Champion and we see the non-Hogan booing edition of the Royal Rumble ending. If nothing else, it was amazing to hear Perfect and Flair make a bunch of space references, as it felt more like a test of “can we get him to say this”.

From New Haven, Connecticut, November 13, 1991.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. Ric Flair

Hart is defending and it’s a bit weird that they have the interview with Flair holding the WWF Title and then go back to a time before he won it in the first place. Things are a bit all over the place here as the Fink slips a bit on the intro, both saying “La….ladies and gentlemen” and then slips up by calling Perfect (with Flair) the “financial consultant” before switching to “executive consultant”, earning some laughter from commentary. If that’s not enough, Hebner holds the Intercontinental Title upside down during the introductions.

After taking over a minute to get ready, they stare each other down before finally locking up almost two minutes in. Hart grabs a headlock before shouldering Flair down and grabbing said headlock again. The hold goes on for a good while as it feels like they have a lot of time here. Back up and Hart drop toeholds him down before going for the leg, sending Flair over to the ropes. Flair backs the referee off and almost gets decked for his efforts.

Hart backs him into the corner but Flair uses the hair to…well very little actually as Hart hits him in the face. Back up and Flair knocks him into the corner as commentary talks about Hulk Hogan. The backdrop starts the comeback and Hart hammers away in the corner, only to get atomic dropped back out. Flair drops the knee in the general vicinity of Hart’s head for two (with feet on the ropes).

Some whips into the corner get two more (again with feet on the ropes, and some yelling at the fans for calling Flair out) but Hart gets up and wins a slugout. A sleeper doesn’t get Flair very far and Hart knocks him down into the corner. Flair goes after the leg to take over though and the Figure Four goes on. Ever the villain, Flair slaps him a few times, which is enough for Hart to turn it over for the break. Hart gets in a suplex but can’t follow up so it’s time to chop away in the corner.

The Flair Flip sends Flair out to the floor and Hart (with his straps down) is back in to hammer away some more. The Sharpshooter goes on so Perfect pulls Flair over to the ropes. Hart this the backbreaker but Flair sends him over the top before grabbing a headlock back inside. Another slugout goes to Hart and he knocks Flair outside. This time Hart follows and has to backdrop his way out of a piledriver attempt but Perfect trips him up so only Flair beats the count at 19:19.

Rating: B. Gah I was having fun with this one and could have gone with another ten minutes of it after seeing what they were doing. Hart, who would have been something of an underdog here, was going move for move with Flair and it was great to see. It was turning into a chess match to see who would blink first and while I get that you don’t want to have either of them do a job, the ending was disappointing.

Alfred Hayes, with a bad Scottish accent, can’t fix the hyper drive.

From Corpus Christi, Texas, December 2, 1991.

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

Mr. Perfect is here with Flair, who has a censored title, which is clearly a Tag Team Title. Flair gets in an early WOO as commentary knows that this will be good, even if it is still Rockers Shawn. A headlock doesn’t get Shawn very far as Flair backs him against the ropes for more WOOing. Another headlock is backed into the corner so Flair can chop away, only to get headlocked down again.

Back up and Shawn knocks him hard to the floor, meaning Flair needs to calm things down. A suplex brings Flair back in and there’s another backdrop to put him down again. There’s the Flair Flip to the floor as Flair is looking like he’s going out of his way to make Shawn look good. Flair breaks up a sunset flip attempt hit falls down to give Shawn a breather.

A dropkick drops Flair with a kick and Shawn slams him off the top, setting up the fist drop for two. Shawn clotheslines him to the floor and tries a dive, only to hit barricade for the big crash. Cue Marty Jannetty (even Mooney wants to know why he wasn’t there at the start) to throw Shawn back in…and Flair pins him with feet on the ropes at 10:25.

Rating: B-. And this concludes the two match series that warrants this tape being uploaded. The ending here was more about advancing the Rockers’ split more than anything else, but Shawn looked good in defeat. The singles push was coming and it was clear that the company saw a lot in him, as did Flair.

Flair says woo.

From Corpus Christi, Texas, December 2, 1991.

Tag Team Titles: Beverly Brothers vs. Legion Of Doom

The Beverlys, with the Genius, are challenging. We get a staredown to start, with Blake strutting around Animal. A shove to Animal earns a bigger one back, with Blake crashing out to the floor. Back in and Blake’s front facelock is shoved off with raw power before Blake tries again, to similar success.

Beau comes in and gets Hawk to chase him, allowing some stomping on the way back in. Hawk is right back with his hangman’s neckbreaker but misses a charge into the post to send him outside. Back in and Blake hammers away, setting up a backbreaker for two. A collision gives Hawk a breather though and a double clothesline allows the big tag to Animal. The powerslam into the Doomsday Device retains the titles at 8:59.

Rating: C. Not much to see here but the match wasn’t bad. The Beverlys were a fine choice for a house show level team to challenge the monster champions and it worked well enough here. The problem with the Legion Of Doom as champions is finding teams to challenge them and that was on display here. It wasn’t a good match, but they did what they could.

Alfred Hayes has fixed the hyperdrive. Well at least he got the sirens to stop going off. And now, it’s off to the Andromeda Galaxy for….Sensational Sherri’s Manager Cam.

From Fort Myers, Florida, January 8, 1992.

Tito Santana vs. Ted DiBiase

Sherri is here with DiBiase and is mic’d up to yell about Santana so there is no commentary. They lock up and then shove each other to start, with Sherri yelling about her Teddy Bear. DiBiase takes over with….something we don’t see because the camera is on Sherri. Santana gets driven into the corner but backs off into the ropes, with Sherri shouting even more. A chase sends DiBiase outside where Santana slugs away (“PLEASE DON’T HURT MY TEDDY BEAR!”) and takes him back inside.

An atomic drop lets DiBiase do his great bump over the top but Sherri trips Santana up (“I GOT YOU!”) back inside. Santana gets sent outside for a slap and Sherri chokes on the ropes. An elbow drop has Sherri VERY interested before she stops to yell at the fans. Santana fights up and they brawl to the floor again, where he teases hitting Sherri. That earns him a shot in the back and it’s a double countout at 8:15.

Rating: C. This was all about Sherri and that was a rough sit. There was only so much that could be done, even by people as talented as DiBiase and Santana, when Sherri is ranting and raving the entire time. I get that it’s the point of the match but egads it just never stopped and got very annoying very fast. I like both of these guys but there was no way they were overcoming that screeching.

Post match the brawl continues, along with the screaming. Sherri tries a shoe shot but hits DiBiase by mistake.

Sean Mooney and Alfred Hayes are about to beam down to the planet, so let’s see a feature on the Nasty Boys.

The Nasty Boys go to a video store (oh how I miss those) and go to the stacked Coliseum Video section, where they complain about their tapes not being included. They spray the manager with silly string and order 3,500 Nasty Boy tapes as they take over the store.

From Huntington, West Virginia, October 1, 1991.

Hercules vs. Big Boss Man

Slick is here with Hercules, who grabs a headlock to start. A running shoulder puts Boss man down and a second one does it again. Boss Man is back with some slams and starts slugging away before going outside to deck Slick. Back in and the running crotch attack to the back hits Hercules but a second attempt misses (as all Hercules had to do was fall down).

A clothesline gives Hercules two but he spends too much time yelling at the camera and gets knocked down again. The slugout goes to Hercules and even Slick gets in some choking (to be fair, Boss Man might have damaged his awesome hat). Back up and Boss Man slugs away as well, setting up a splash for two. The Boss Man Slam finishes at 7:34.

Rating: C-. This was mainly punching and kicking but Boss Man was someone the fans were going to like no matter what he was doing. Hercules was mainly there to make other people look good and he did well enough here. Not a great match or even particularly good, but they hit each other hard enough to keep me interested.

From Cornwall, Ontario, Canada, September 10, 1991.

Million Dollar Title: Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase

DiBiase, with (a thankfully non-mic’d Sherri) is actually challenging and Randy Savage is guest referee. DiBiase’s missed charge lets Virgil hammer away to start and he knocks DiBiase out to the floor. Back in and Virgil hits some slams but charges into a boot in the corner. They head outside with Virgil being rammed into the steps before having his comeback cut off back inside.

A suplex gives DiBiase a rather slow two and gets in an argument with Savage as a result. DiBiase hits a backdrop but pulls him up at (another slow) two, meaning it’s time for more arguing. This time DiBiase decks him (knocking Savage’s hat off in the process, because Savage can referee in a hat) and grabs the Million Dollar Dream on Virgil. Savage is back in with an ax handle to DiBiase and Virgil gets the VERY delayed pin at 7:12.

Rating: D+. The match was dull in the first place but the ending was lame, as DiBiase was suddenly out cold off a single ax handle. This should have been Savage decking DiBiase from the floor and fast counting a rollup but instead it was just a weird way to go. It didn’t help that Virgil wasn’t very good in the ring and that was on full display here.

Mooney and Hayes are on the planet and it’s rather ugly.

From Austin Texas, December 4, 1991.

Undertaker/Jake Roberts vs. Jim Duggan/Randy Savage

No entrances for this one as they’re running out of time on the tape. Savage decks Roberts off the apron before the bell and gets a severe tongue lashing from Earl Hebner. Undertaker chokes Duggan in the corner to start but Duggan avoids a charge. A clothesline sends Undertaker outside and he stares up at Duggan, which has to be a bit unnerving. The Stunner over the top rope drops Duggan as we’re just waiting on the Savage vs. Roberts showdown.

Roberts comes in and gets his arm cranked so Savage gets the tag and starts kicking away. The top rope ax handle sends Roberts outside (making him tougher than Ted DiBiase) so it’s back to Undertaker to choke away. The elbow misses though and it’s back to Duggan to hammer away for what must have been a good ten seconds. Roberts is back in to knee him down but the DDT is broken up. Savage snaps (I know) and chairs Roberts for the DQ at 7:04.

Rating: C-. Another slow motion match though in this case at least it makes sense as you don’t want to have one of the two hottest heels get pinned. Savage vs. Roberts was a white hot feud at this point and that isn’t something that you can have do a fall here. Other than that, Duggan slugging away is a good thing and Undertaker is Undertaker but they didn’t have much time here.

Mooney and Hayes…are left on the planet as the ship leaves, seemingly dooming them forever to end the show. Nice ending.

Overall Rating: C. The Flair matches were good (shocking I know) but the rest was pretty drek. You could definitely feel the transition around this period and there was only so much worth seeing. The Hogan formula was feeling tired and the company needed some fresh stars. The Undertaker would certainly fit, but some of these names just don’t feel that interesting and it was a pretty weak sit with a bunch of dull matches.

 

 

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Saturday Night’s Main Event #28
Date: October 13, 1990
Location: Toledo Sports Arena, Toledo, Ohio
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Roddy Piper

It’s time for Oktoberfest because…well you don’t need an excuse for Oktoberfest. That makes it a theme show and therefore we could be in for some rather terrible jokes. Those will be on top of what could be some less than great action, as this isn’t the most thrilling time in the company’s history. Let’s get to it.

We open at Oktoberfest with wrestlers running around and thankfully we have all kinds of lederhosen.

Vince and Piper welcome us tot he show in front of some green screen and run down the card.

Opening sequence and dang that song still rocks.

Demolition is ready to demolish the Ultimate Warrior and the Legion of Doom. The team just did not feel special with Crush involved, even if he was kind of perfect for the spot.

The Legion Of Doom is ready to party at Oktoberfest and ask what Demolition is going to do about losing the Tag Team Titles. Cry in their beer? Sob in their schnitzel? The Ultimate Warrior comes in to shout about blitzkrieg. I would have put him as more of a Konnan guy.

Ultimate Warrior/Legion Of Doom vs. Demolition

The good guys clear the ring in a hurry but we settle down to Crush clotheslining Animal. A powerslam plants Smash for two and it’s off to Warrior to run Ax over. The Warrior Splash misses though and Crush gets in some cheap shots on the floor to really take over. The beating is on but Hawk breaks up the Demolition Decapitator. Hawk comes in for the top rope clotheslines as everything breaks down. It’s back to Warrior for the running clotheslines and the splash to finish Smash at 5:37.

Rating: C. As tends to be the case with Saturday Night’s Main Event, this was more of a “send the fans home happy in a hurry” match, with the good guys getting in some trouble before coming back for the win. Warrior was clearly floundering as champion as the best they had for him was just a six man tag here. He has nothing to do and that played a big role in why his reign as champion went so poorly. At the same time, it’s still a shame that we never got a big LOD vs. Demolition match, as this would have been the perfect place.

We go to Oktoberfest and where Gene Okerlund introduces us to some of the wrestlers, all of whom are in some rather amazing costumes. Alfred Hayes is drinking and complaining about the beer not being as good as the English version.

Randy Savage vs. Dusty Rhodes

Savage has Queen Sherri with him so Piper compares him to over kings, including his dog. Dusty is fresh off losing Sapphire to Ted DiBiase but he does have his son Dustin in the front row. Savage gets distracted by an Ultimate Warrior poster and gets whipped hard into the corner. A slow motion backslide gives Dusty two so Sherri offers a distraction, allowing Savage to hit a knee to the back. The chinlock goes on so Sherri slaps the mat, which feels a bit backwards.

Cue Ted DiBiase and Virgil to buy the front row seats so they can sit there alone. Only Dustin won’t take the money so DiBiase and Virgil sit next to him, making quite the visual. Dusty fights up but DiBiase pulls Dustin back down, which has Dusty going outside after him. We take a break and come back with Savage choking away before getting two off a cheap shot. The over the top rope neck snap lets Savage go up for the ax handle to the head and another near fall.

Dusty fights up and sends him into the buckle before knocking Savage off the top. A headbutt of all things puts Savage down as DiBiase talks trash to Dustin. The villains finally beat Dustin up on the floor, which is basically assaulting a fan but security is nowhere to be seen. Savage is tied in the ropes and Dusty finally sees what is going on, only for Savage to ax handle Dusty into the barricade for the countout at 8:18.

Rating: C-. There was only so much that Savage could do here and that was part of the problem with Dusty’s time in the company. He could do the talking and the segments, but at some point you can only get so far with what he can do in the ring. Then DiBiase and Savage kept beating him so there was only so much of a chance anyway.

Post match Dusty tries to cover Dustin from the beating so DiBiase and Virgil beat on Dusty instead.

Hulk Hogan and Tugboat are ready to make Rhythm and Blues play the flugelhorn and the glockenspiel in an Oompah band (1990 was WEIRD) so they can get to Earthquake and Dino Bravo. Somehow this turns into a D Day story with Hogan promising to give Rhythm and Blues a “Barbarian Creaming”. For some reason Hogan and Tugboat talked way more about Earthquake and Bravo than the team they’re facing tonight. This was strange even by Hogan standards.

The Bushwhackers practice cutting cheese. This is a Vince McMahon segment if I have ever seen one.

Alfred Hayes is starting to like the British beer and tells stories about being on the Danube.

Hulk Hogan/Tugboat vs. Rhythm and Blues

Hogan wastes no time in cleaning house and drops some elbows. Honky Tonk Man is sent into Tugboat’s boot in the corner before Tugboat comes in to crank on Valentine’s arm. Hogan goes aerial for a middle rope ax handle to Valentine’s arm but an elbow to the head staggers Tugboat. The bearhug slows Honky Tonk Man down but Valentine makes the save so the villains can take over.

Valentine’s elbow to the head gets two and Honky Tonk Man adds some weak knees to the back. Tugboat shrugs off the lame offense and brings in Hogan to clean house. A clothesline and right hands have Valentine in more trouble and the big boot sets up…nothing as Earthquake and Dino Bravo come out for a distraction. We take a break and come back with Tugboat coming in for a headbutt. Jimmy Hart offers a distraction though and Honky Tonk Man hits Tugboat in the back with the guitar for the DQ at 7:23.

Rating: D+. Oh come on. Honky Tonk Man or Greg Valentine can’t lay down for the legdrop? I get not wanting to lose to Tugboat but give me a break. This was a perfect choice for a match where Hogan can get a win but instead it’s this lame DQ, which does nothing but feel like a waste of time

Post match the villains beat Hogan down and Earthquake hits an assisted splash. Earthquake loads up the Earthquake but Tugboat makes the save with the guitar. Vince: “What would they have done to Hulk Hogan?” What the heck do you think they were going to do?

Back to the festival for the sausage stuffing contest (oh dear) with Honorary Sausage Stuffer Hall Of Fame inductee, the Genius. It’s Jim Duggan/the Hart Foundation vs. Mr. Fuji/the Orient Express. Fuji is accused of cheating (with a pre-made sausage) so we go to Alfred Hayes for a ruling but he’s drunk and telling stories. Again, this was a Vince McMahon segment if there has ever been one.

Intercontinental Title: Haku vs. Texas Tornado

The Tornado is defending, having beaten Mr. Perfect at Summerslam, leaving Haku to try to bring the title back to the Heenan Family. An early attempt at the Claw sends Haku bailing to the floor for some advice from Heenan. Back in and Haku grabs a chinlock to slow things down but Tornado slugs away. Haku knocks him into the corner and hits a headbutt but the Claw goes on to cut things off. The Tornado Punch retains the title at 3:10.

Rating: C. It’s easy to see why Tornado got chance after chance as he looked great and the fans were into him but the backstage issues were just too much to overcome. There was only so much that can be done when he has that many problems and they caught up to him in a hurry. This was the quick title defense for Tornado and that’s why you bring in Haku.

Hulk Hogan and Tugboat use a bunch of sailing terms as I try to figure out what in the world the appeal of Tugboat was really supposed to be. I remember liking him as a kid, but egads he does not hold up whatsoever.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. Koko B. Ware

Slaughter has General Adnan and is ready to start the biggest push of his career. They start slowly until Ware snaps off some armdrags and dances, which is just not going to work for an American hero. Ware misses a charge into the corner though and the pace slows way down. An elbow drop gives Slaughter two but he misses a shot, allowing Ware to hammer away. That’s broken up and the Atomic Noogie (thankfully not officially called that) finishes Ware at 5:09.

Rating: C. They were late in the show at this point and there was no reason to think that this would be anything more than Slaughter slaughtering Ware. Slaughter was going to be the big heel and while that isn’t exactly the best fit, there wasn’t anyone else to get the spot. He’s fine, but tying into a real world story is quite the questionable move.

Post match the Iraqi flag is waved but Nikolai Volkoff pops up to wave the American flag.

Back to the festival for a dance off between Jim Neidhart and Slick (who is far better). Then a food fight breaks out. Didn’t we all know that was coming?

Ultimate Warrior says Queen Sherri is no challenge and she has only enraged the legion of warriors. He accepts the challenge from Randy Savage and the title match is on.

Sherri and Savage promise to win “that belt”.

Vince and Piper wrap it up.

We go back to the festival where Alfred Hayes yells at Gene for not calling him, as his earpiece was taken out while he was drinking. Hayes berates him so Gene hits him with a cake.

Piper wants to go to the food fight, which is still ongoing.

Overall Rating: C-. This one is going to depend on your nostalgia taste, as the wrestling is pretty terrible, but the Oktoberfest stuff is so goofy that it’s hard to not at least chuckle. Yes some of the jokes are horrible, but that’s kind of the point of the whole thing. The company was in a bad place at this point and it’s not a good show, though it was fun in a very (very) goofy kind of way.

 

 

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Supertape II
Host: Sean Mooney
Commentators: Sean Mooney, Lord Alfred Hayes, Gorilla Monsoon, Hillbilly Jim

It’s another Coliseum Video and another that I’ve seen more than a few times. This is from around 1990 and is the usual collection of house show matches and special features. In other words, it’s something that I can go for on any given day and there is a good chance that this will be fun. Let’s get to it.

Sean Mooney is in the studio and welcomes us to the tape, featuring a rundown of what is coming. On top of that we get a kind of spooky vice saying SUPERTAPE, which appears to be our theme for the tape. Uh, right.

From Chattanooga, Tennessee, January 3, 1990.

Jim Duggan vs. Randy Savage

Sherri is here with Savage and this is from Saturday Night’s Main Event, albeit with different commentary. Duggan isn’t having any of this waiting around and jumps him to start, with Savage taking quite the fall on the floor. Savage gets knocked down but comes back with a clothesline, as Duggan just stands there so Savage can hit him (that wasn’t good). They go outside with Savage knocking him around but the camera stays on Sherri and…..eh fair enough.

Back in and Savage misses a charge but Duggan misses an elbow to even it back up. Duggan knocks him to the floor, only to stop and glare at Sherri, allowing Savage a rather long breather. Back in and Duggan drops a knee for…well nothing as Sherri distracts the referee again.

Duggan knocks him outside again (ok we get it) but Sherri gets in a rake to the back and we’re clipped (as there was a commercial on the original broadcast) to Duggan knocking Savage out of the air. Sherri slips in the loaded purse though and Savage knocks him silly (well sillier) for two. The three point clothesline sends Savage to the floor so Duggan suplexes him back inside, only for Sherri to trip Duggan down. Savage puts his feet on the ropes for the pin at 8:42.

Rating: B-. These two were having a good match as Duggan knew how to turn his incredibly basic offense into an entertaining spectacle. Sherri was a good foil on the floor as well and of course Savage can work well with anyone. It wasn’t like Duggan was ever going to be the top star, but dang the fans got behind him when they were given the chance.

Post match Duggan hits Savage with the board to blow off some steam.

We get a profile on the Rockers, starting with a promo from the two talking about the teams they have fought in their two years in the WWF. They’ll take on anyone and they play as hard as they work.

From New York City, New York, January 15, 1990.

Rockers vs. Powers Of Pain

Mr. Fuji is here with the Powers Of Pain. Barbarian shoves Shawn across the ring to start in quite the nice power display. For some reason Shawn’s high five to Marty doesn’t count as a tag so Barbarian gets to shove Shawn around a few more times. A shoulder puts Shawn down again but Marty comes in for the save to take over. Shawn comes in off the top to get in a shot on the arm, followed by a double superkick.

A double clothesline drops Warlord and we get some Rockers posing as the villains take a breather. Back in and Warlord slowly hammers away, only for Marty to dropkick him into a hurricanrana. Warlord hammers Marty back down and a heck of a powerbomb drops him again. A rather high backdrop gives Warlord two and it’s off to Barbarian for a jumping headbutt to the back. Fuji even gets in a cheap shot from the floor, with the distraction having Shawn teasing a punch to the referee.

We hit the bearhug (you knew that was coming) but Marty fights out and hits a middle rope shot to the face. Barbarian is back with a powerslam to plant Marty, only to miss the middle rope elbow. The tag brings in Shawn to clean house, including an assisted sunset flip for two on Warlord. Everything breaks down and Barbarian it set into Marty, leaving Fuji to cane Shawn. Barbarian drops the elbow for the pin at 9:58.

Rating: C+. This was a power vs. speed match and that is always going to work, but at the same time, it was a weird choice for the Power Of Pain to win in a profile about the Rockers. That’s not exactly a great way to go, but the Rockers did get to do some of their usual fast paced stuff. Maybe just do that with a match where they actually win?

Post match Shawn dropkicks Fuji and gets laid out. Marty gets taken out s well, with something like a top rope Hart Attack. Shawn finally gets a chair for the save.

The Rockers introduce another match because they’re tag team specialists.

From Rochester, New York, June 28, 1989.

Rockers vs. Greg Valentine/Dino Bravo

Jimmy Hart is here with the villains. Marty and Bravo start things off with Bravo grinding away on a headlock. Shawn comes in off a blind tag to dropkick Bravo into Marty’s slam though, setting up Marty’s dropkick which doesn’t seem to come close. That means a breather on the floor before valentine comes back in to hammer (naturally) on Michaels. That’s broken up and Marty comes in to take over on Bravo.

A monkey flip has Bravo in trouble but he knocks Marty down, allowing Valentine to hit a double stomp. Marty gets a double elbow to the face but manages to kick the Figure Four attempt off. Valentine isn’t having the comeback though and knocks him down, setting up an elbow for two more. Marty finally fights his way out and brings Shawn in to quite the reaction as the comeback is on.

A suplex gets two on Valentine and Hart gets knocked off the apron. The double dropkick hits Bravo and the double top rope fist drop gets two as Valentine makes the save. Shawn and Bravo collide for a double down and Valentine puts Bravo on top for two. Marty comes back in and gets an O’Connor Roll but Valentine hits a clothesline so Bravo can get the pin at 11:40.

Rating: B-. This picked up near the end and that was nice to see but it did go a good while, especially with a thrown together team like Bravo and Valentine. That being said, again, you might want to give the Rockers a win rather than finding new ways for them to lose. It’s not like the Rockers were some terrible team who never won anything so there should be a lot to choose from for the profile.

Post match Ronnie Garvin, a referee feuding with Valentine, comes down to say Valentine cheated and the decision is reversed. Call it a big win I guess?

A fan wants to see Hercules vs. Akeem. Since she doesn’t like Akeem’s dancing, Akeem won’t talk to her, but Hercules is happy to have her support.

From Portland, Maine, August 30, 1989.

Hercules vs. Akeem

Slick is here with Akeem, who bails as Hercules swings his chain. Akeem dances around and knocks Hercules into the corner, only for Hercules to rain down some right hands. Hercules knocks him out to the floor and we’re already hitting the stall button. Slick gets knocked down and Akeem has to hold him back, which has Hayes almost losing it on commentary.

Back in and they tease a boxing match, with Akeem’s gyrating not really working. Some left hands and a wind up right hand stagger Akeem but a slam isn’t going to happen. Hercules hammers away again and we go to some weird camera shot with the corners cut off. A running knee and a clothesline both put Akeem down…but Slick low bridges Hercules for the DQ at 5:00.

Rating: D+. This was a case where they did what they could and that was only going to get them so far. Ultimately, there isn’t much that Hercules can do with Akeem because Akeem is just that big. That leaves you with Hercules punching him for about three minutes and then getting a knockdown but since they can’t do anything else, they have the lame finish. It’s not a good match, but they did about as much as they could, including that awesome Akeem dancing.

Post match Akeem goes for the splash but Hercules rolls away and hits the big slam. Now why couldn’t they just do that for a finish?

We get a Call Of The Action segment, meaning Alfred Hayes watches clips of an Orient Express squash and names some moves. As in things like “forearm” and “leapfrog”, or if you want to get really technical, a “knuckle blow” or “jump karate kick”. And yes, he does go over the names twice in case you missed them. Ignore Hayes switching from “jump karate kick” to “karate jump kick” in a segment about getting the names of moves right and talking about THE SAME MOVES.

The Orient Express, with Mr. Fuji, are ready to hurt Demolition. Especially Ax for some reason.

From New York City, New York, March 19, 1990.

Demolition vs. Orient Express

Gorilla talks about how Demolition is in line for a possible three peat as Tag Team Champions, which he has never seen before. Not only has he seen it, but he saw it with Mr. Fuji, who is here with the Express. Smash wastes no time in punching Tanaka down and it’s off to Ax to crank on the neck.

Sato comes in and gets whipped into the corner as Gorilla talks about Fuji being a two or three time Tag Team Champion (it was five), including with Professor Tanaka, with whom he held the titles three times. So Gorilla remembers the team, knows that Fuji was a multiple time champion, but not that it was a three peat. Bobby Heenan would never do that. Tanaka comes back in and gets knocked down again, setting up a backbreaker for a quick two.

Ax comes in to stay on the arm but it’s back to Smash, who gets karated up against the ropes so the villains can take over. Fuji must have helped them with his completely forgettable tag team experience. We get some kind of cheap shot from Tanaka, which the camera completely misses, leaving commentary totally confused at what happened. Fuji gets in a cane shot and the beating continues, to the point where Ax comes in to hammer away and blow off some steam.

Ax trying to come in again lets the Express get in some more double teaming, which consists of hitting Smash a few more times. That’s broken up with a single clothesline out of the corner though and it’s Ax coming back in to clean house. A powerslam gets two on Sato as everything breaks down. Fuji breaks up the Decapitator with another cane shot and Sato adds some salt to the eyes for the countout at 10:57.

Rating: C. Demolition loses to the Orient Express less than two weeks before getting the Tag Team Titles at Wrestlemania? In theory that would set up a title rematch down the line, but dang that’s a weird way to treat the #1 contenders so close to a major match. This was only ok anyway, as Demolition never felt like they were in any real danger and mainly shrugged off all of the chops and kicks.

From New York City, New York, March 19, 1990.

Rick Martel vs. Bret Hart

Same show as the previous match and this should be a bit better. Martel knocks him into the corner to start but Hart is right back up to knock him to the floor, allowing Monsoon to talk about the “external occipital protuberance”. Back in and Martel misses a charge into the corner, allowing Hart to work on the arm a bit. The armbar goes on as Monsoon thinks these two are going to do rather well with the ladies.

A backslide gives Hart two and we’re right back to the armbar. As Hillbilly Jim tries to figure out where he would fit in over in Europe (Hayes doesn’t think it would work), Martel leverages Hart out to the floor. Jim accepts that he can’t go due to the lack of possum pie as Martel can’t pose due to the banged up arm.

A suplex brings Hart back in and we hit the abdominal stretch to give Monsoon an opening to complain about the lack of a leg hook. Hart gets in his own suplex into a backbreaker for two and Martel needs a breather on the floor. Back in and Hart hits a dropkick but he doesn’t have the Sharpshooter yet so it’s a stomp to the ribs for two instead. Martel bails to the floor and it’s a time limit draw at 12:02. The full match runs about 22 minutes so that’s a heck of a trim job.

Rating: B-. I could go for seeing the whole thing as they were having some good chemistry out there. Hart was clearly getting a look for a rather eventual solo run, even if it was over a year away at this point. What mattered here was letting Hart show what he could do and Martel was a great choice to make that work as he really was that talented.

Post match Hart beats him up again.

We get a profile on Slick, who talks about how he is the greatest of the great. This means a quick montage of Slick dancing and cheating, set to the still outstanding Jive Soul Bro. That’s not much of a profile.

From New York City, New York, December 28, 1989.

Rick Rude vs. Roddy Piper

Inside a cage, with a new rule of being able to win via pinfall. They start fast with Rude being sent into the cage as commentary is surprised by the idea of a referee in there. Piper whips away with a belt, setting up an atomic drop to keep rude in (amusing) trouble. Rude is sent into the cage as it’s all Piper so far. Piper goes up but gets cut off (with his trunks coming down) by the rather bloody Rude.

Some forearms keep Piper down but he’s fine enough to pull Rude back in, with the tights coming way off to bring up the blurred image. Back in and Piper hammers away but gets caught in a quick Rude Awakening. Rude can’t follow up though as he’s still blinded by the blood in his eyes (and the blur on the upper half of his tights, only for Piper to almost get out as a result. They both go up and fight on top of the cage before climbing down on the outside.

A double ram into the cage lets them come crashing down and they hit at the exact same time (we need Jesse Ventura to say one of their legs were straight). The match must continue, so Rude hits him with a chair and they go back inside, where hopefully Rude will pull hits freaking tights up already. Rude goes to the top of the cage and hits a top rope fist drop, leaving Piper vibrating in what looks like a Hogan impression.

That’s only good for a rather delayed two so Rude goes up again, only to get crotched down on top. Piper goes for the door but Heenan slams it onto his head, allowing Rude to hit a belly to back suplex. Heenan throws in some brass knuckles but Piper takes them away and knocks Rude out, allowing him to go through the door for the win at 12:53.

Rating: B+. These two worked very well together and they had a heck of a match here, with both guys beating the fire out of each other. It felt like a big blowoff between the two of them, which is what a cage match at MSG should be. You don’t see Piper getting big wins like this very often but dang did it worth. Check this out if you want an old school cage match between two legends.

And now, Bloopers, which are totally not staged in any way. This includes a bunch of scenes of Monsoon and Heenan at Busch Gardens, which don’t feel like bloopers as much as them doing their usual stuff. It also goes on way too long, with one of the only highlights being Monsoon dressed as Brother Love for Halloween.

From New York City, New York, February 19, 1990.

Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake vs. Mr. Perfect/The Genius

Perfect actually takes Hogan down to start and sends him outside, only for Perfect to stomp away as he comes back in. Hogan gets in a shot of his own though and it’s off to Beefcake for a double noggin knocker on the floor. Back in and a right hand gets two on Perfect and Hogan comes in for the back rake (villain).

Beefcake’s high knee connects and commentary talks about golf for some reason. They go outside though and Perfect gets in a shot with Genius’ metal scroll, followed by a ram into the barricade. The fans are RIGHT THERE to cheer for Hogan and it’s Genius coming in for some rather dainty rakes to the back. Hogan fights up and hands it off to Beefcake for the running knee on Perfect, followed by the sleeper. Genius gets in a scroll shot though, allowing Hogan to chase him to the back (Hillbilly: “That’s right, you better run.”).

Hogan has to run back to break up a VERY slow count as Genius is back on the apron. Heenan asks Jim about horseshoes as Genius rakes Beefcake’s eyes, allowing Perfect to come back in. The slow beating continues with the referee not seeing the tag to Hogan, allowing Beefcake to get knocked back into the corner. Hogan breaks up the PerfectPlex and gets the tag to start cleaning house. Everything breaks down and the big boot into the legdrop finishes Genius at 15:10.

Rating: C-. Long, dull match here with the heat segment on Beefcake feeling like it was going on forever. The fans were into it though and that helps, but this needed to be about five minutes shorter to really work. Heenan needling Hillbilly on commentary was funny but that’s about the only high point for the whole thing.

Post match Genius is put to sleep and gets some more of his hair cut.

Mooney wraps it up and finds out that it was….the sign guy who was messing with the spooky SUPERTAPE deal. That’s stupid.

Overall Rating: B-. There are some bad spots in here, but for the most part this worked rather well. It’s a good era for the company with all kinds of star power and the cage match is definitely worth a look. The main event needs some work but other than that and Hercules vs. Akeem, nothing on here is bad. Check this one out if you get the chance as I had a fun time with some nice flashbacks.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 11, 1993
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 1,000
Commentators: Randy Savage, Vince McMahon, Rob Bartlett

So you might have seen this one before, as it is the premiere episode of the series as part of the celebration of the move over to Netflix. I’ve seen this one more than a few times but to call it historic would be an understatement, even if it might not have felt that way at the time. Let’s get to it.

Sean Mooney is outside and welcomes us to the show. Bobby Heenan tries to get inside but is told he’s been replaced by Rob Bartlett. There are no tickets left and he’s not getting in through the press entrance so yelling ensues.

Opening sequence.

Commentary runs down the card and Bartlett is already not funny.

Yokozuna vs. Koko B. Ware

Bartlett goes straight to the fat jokes, including saying Yokozuna has an “a** like amphitheater”. Ware gets shoved down a few times so he tries to get the fans behind him with the rhythmic clapping. That doesn’t work either, which shouldn’t be a major shock. The running shoulders have Ware bouncing off of Yokozuna and the big leg connects. Yokozuna crushes him in the corner and hits the Banzai Drop for the pin at 3:44.

Rating: C-. This was more the answer to a trivia question than anything else, with Yokozuna still being new around here and getting to destroy someone in the first match ever on Raw. There isn’t much to say about it either, as Ware was more known for his large pants at this point than anything else. Nothing match, and Bartlett’s jokes made it that much worse.

Bobby Heenan is very excited about Narcissus (Lex Luger, later named the Narcissist). Mr. Perfect is scared of the Narcissus, who will be debuted at the Royal Rumble.

Steiner Brothers vs. Executioners

Scott hammers on #1 to start before handing it off to Rick for more of the same. #1 is sent into the corner as Doink The Clown is walking through the fans. Rick sends #1 into the post and grabs a belly to belly. Scott hits another one and the Steiner Bulldog finishes at 2:59. Total destruction.

Bobby Heenan, in drag, can’t get inside. Where did he get that costume?

Here is Razor Ramon for an interview with Vince McMahon. He’s ready to get the WWF Title from Bret Hart at the Royal Rumble and will win the title way faster than Bret ever did. We see a clip of Razor attacking Owen Hart on WWF Mania and now it’s time for him to take the title from Bret. Simple and to the point here, even if the title match was nothing memorable.

There is a Headlock On Hunger show coming up and Randy Savage doesn’t seem to have the card in front of him in a weird bit.

Tatanka is ready for the Headlock On Hunger.

Intercontinental Title: Max Moon vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels is defending. Feeling out process to start as Bartlett makes an unfunny joke about a WWF version of an upcoming movie. Moon starts jumping over him and takes Michaels down with a jumping hammerlock to take over. We take a break and come back with Bartlett talking about Michaels pulling a knife during the break. Michaels drops him throat first across the top rope…and Doink walks out again as Bartlett “calls in” as Mike Tyson.

Michaels hammers away as the Tyson thing finally wraps up and we hit the chinlock. Moon fights up and sends him to the floor for a seated senton off the apron. Back in and the Tyson bit goes on again as Bartlett somehow does not get that it’s dying out there. Michaels hits the superkick and teardrop superkick to retain at 11:23.

Rating: C. This is a rare care where the match was fine but my goodness commentary dragged it WAY down. There was nothing funny about this and while I’m sure the Tyson impression made Vince laugh, it was distracting and another level of terrible. The match was ok, but no one watching was going to be able to focus on it because of the Tyson nonsense. Stop doing that.

Ad for WWF Mania. I could go for seeing some of that just for the flashbacks.

We get the Royal Rumble Report, with a focus on Shawn Michaels vs. Marty Jannetty. Michaels isn’t sure why Jannetty is getting a title shot, but Jannetty implies that Sherri will turn on Michaels during the match. That’s pretty much the story, with the Rockers not being mentioned.

Mr. Perfect is ready to win the Royal Rumble.

Mr. Fuji, with Yokozuna, is ready to crush everyone.

Jim Duggan isn’t sure if he’ll win, but he’ll give it all he’s got. Him winning the match a mere five years ago isn’t mentioned.

People are trying to get tickets for next week. Bobby Heenan’s beard disguise doesn’t work. Maybe he’ll try the roof.

We look at Kamala’s face turn over the weekend, as Reverend Slick convinces him to stand up to Harvey Wippleman and Kim Chee. If you need help standing up to those two goons, you’re already a lost cause.

Undertaker vs. Damian Demento

Undertaker starts fast and knocks him down, setting up Old School. Demento gets a boot up in the corner and hits a running shoulder to put Undertaker down again. That’s shrugged off and the Tombstone finishes Demento at 2:25.

Next week in a cage match: Woody Allen vs. Mia Farrow. I have no idea who this is supposed to appeal to but….no.

Doink The Clown isn’t scared of Crush, who comes out for a chase.

Heenan is allowed in as the show ends.

Overall Rating: C-. This is one of those shows where it is far more historic than memorable on its own. I’ve seen it a bunch of times over the years and there really isn’t anything that great on the whole thing. The wrestling is average at best and nothing on here makes you think it’s a special show.

At the same time, Bartlett is an absolute miss here and dragged the show WAY down. Now, that being said, I have seen a comment from Bartlett, who basically said he knew he was terrible in the role, but as a comedian, you can’t turn down a live mic on national television. Fair enough, but man alive did it not work. Overall, not a particularly good show, but that’s absolutely not the point here. This was about “this is the beginning” and that would be a huge understatement.

 

 

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Paul Bearer’s Hits From The Crypt
Host: Paul Bearer
Commentators: Stan Lane, Gorilla Monsoon, Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, Johnny Polo

Sometimes you need some good old fashioned Coliseum Video and…well this is from around 1994 and that’s not going to be the top shelf stuff. In this case, we should at last have some good stuff in there. I’ve done this tape before but it’s been a good many years and who am I to question the WWE Vault? Let’s get to it.

Paul Bearer welcomes us from the crypt and talks about the THOUSANDS of matches he’s gone through to pick the following.

From Syracuse, New York, April 12, 1994.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Lex Luger

Feeling out process to start as commentary goes on a bit of a weird rant about Jerry Jarrett (Jeff’s father) having a big mouth and running back to the south. Luger grabs a headlock to start so Jarrett complains about a hair pull, which commentary does not like. Jarrett’s shoulders to the ribs in the corner just seem to annoy Luger so Jarrett goes with some arm cranking.

That just earns him a gorilla press and the fans approve, but then Luger just strolls around the ring, as tends to be his case. A clothesline out of the corner gives Jarrett a breather and commentary is on him about wasting time, ignoring Luger being far worse about it just a few seconds earlier. Some ax handles to the back keep Luger in trouble as commentary calls out Luger for his lack of fire. Dang you can hear the burial building and it’s only going to get worse. Lane: “Lex could be sick, he could be injured. He could be coming off a European tour and be tired!”

The sleeper goes on and Luger has to fight up after two arm drops. Luger powers up and gets a suplex before starting the generic comeback. A few clotheslines and an elbow into a powerslam (Monsoon: “Not all that well executed by Lex.”) sets up the Rebel Rack to finish Jarrett at 13:13.

Rating: D+. Luger might as well have been reaching out for the paycheck that was keeping him going at this point as there was NOTHING here that would make you want to see him again. It was the most generic offense (as always) and absolutely no fire at all, with commentary coming close to burying him. It’s no shock that he was more or less done as anything important, as this was a cross between dull and embarrassing to watch.

From Springfield, Massachusetts, February 2, 1994.

Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels with Diesel, is challenging and takes his time to start. They shove each other a bit before Ramon throws the toothpick into his face to really get things going. Michaels bails out to the floor for a chase before running the ropes back inside as we’re over two minutes in without any major contact. A leapfrog doesn’t quite work for Michaels though and Razor gets in a powerslam for two.

Michaels’ neckbreaker gives him two of his own but Razor punches his way out of a sunset flip, setting up the big clothesline to the floor. They go outside where Razor pulls the floor padding back but a Razor’s Edge on the floor is broken up, allowing Michaels to get in a hard posting. That slows things down a good bit and a slam on the exposed concrete has Razor’s back in trouble.

Back in and Shawn starts in on said back, including a top rope ax handle and a chinlock with a knee between the shoulders. That’s switched into a regular chinlock until Razor fights up, only to have his back give out on a backslide. The chinlock goes back on and Monsoon goes into an anatomy rant that has to be him showing off. Said chinlock lasts a rather long time until Razor fights up and hits a big running knee.

A backdrop sends Michaels flying but Razor’s back gives out to leave them both down again. Razor starts hammering but Diesel pulls him outside with Michaels joining in for the double countout at 11:28. Hold on though as Razor grabs the mic and says let’s see who the real champion is. Michaels eventually comes back in but Diesel’s distraction doesn’t work, allowing Razor to punch Michaels out of the air for two. The belly to back superplex is broken up and Michaels hits a nice superkick for two.

Back up and the referee gets bumped, meaning there is no one to count after the Razor’s Edge. Diesel comes in with a belt shot but the referee is still down. After a delay so long that it had to be mistimed, the referee gets up for two as Marty Jannetty runs in for the save. Somehow that isn’t a DQ so Diesel misses a shot at Marty and hits Michaels by mistake, allowing Razor to get a rollup pin at 18:54.

Rating: B-. This was a weird one, as you would think that a nearly 20 minute Razor vs. Michaels match would be a layup, but they tried to pack a lot into the end while not doing much for long stretches earlier on. The chinlock went on WAY too long and they had to lay around for a good while at the end, likely due to Marty being late. If you cut about five minutes out of this, it’s far better, though I kept waiting on one of them to grab a ladder as those matches are so much more famous.

Bearer takes us to a dressing room which was used by people like WC Fields and Harry Houdini. Ok then.

From Syracuse, New York on April 12, 1994.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Mabel

Luna Vachon and Oscar are here too as I wonder what I did so wrong to wind up here. Bigelow jumps him to start and nearly knocks the….whatever it is that he’s wearing. Mabel is back with an elbow, only to miss an elbow drop. An armdrag of all things takes Bigelow down and Mabel grabs an armbar as it’s already time for a breather. The armbar goes to the mat before Mabel manages a suplex, only to miss a splash.

Bigelow enziguris him to the floor where Oscar runs away from Luna (smart man). Commentary compares Mabel’s hair to Bigelow’s tattoos as Mabel slowly gets back inside. Bigelow grabs an armbar as Monsoon says that it’s hard to see where one ends and where the other starts. No Gorilla, it really isn’t.

An armdrag into another armbar has Mabel down as Lane is mocking Luna’s facial tattoos. Mabel fights up and gets in an armdrag, followed by a not so great dropkick. The spinwheel kick (it didn’t get much air) sets up a splash to Bigelow in the corner, only for him to break up a bulldog as this keeps going. A better than expected Cactus Clothesline leaves them on the floor and a rather fast ten count is a double countout at 8:32.

Rating: D. Oh like this was ever going to be good. Bigelow was trying here but there is only so much you can do with someone Mabel’s size. It was slow and very plodding with a lot of laying around in between the moves that didn’t go well. The WWF LOVES this kind of match though and I can see why live fans would have some fun with it, but dang it does not exactly hold up well.

Bearer says we’ve all been following the Headshrinkers vs. the Quebecers but he recaps it for us anyway.

From Burlington, Vermont on April 26, 1994 and actually from the May 2 Raw.

Tag Team Titles: Quebecers vs. Headshrinkers

The Quebecers, with Johnny Polo, are defending. Fatu and Pierre start things off as Vince thinks there are some Quebecers fans around here because we’re so close to Canada. They shove each other around to start with Fatu being rather excited. Fatu runs him over and it’s off to Jacques vs. Samu and a rake of the eyes lets the villain take over. Everything breaks down and the Quebecers are knocked outside, which is enough for them to walk out.

That’s enough for the referee to say get back in here or it’s a title change. The Quebecers do run back in, break the count, and then head outside again and we take a break. Back with Pierre getting knocked around as Savage seems to want a sandwich. Jacques gets in a knee from the apron to take over and the big clothesline turns Fatu inside out. A ram into the steps has Fatu in trouble and it’s a clothesline/legsweep combination for two. Jacques backdrops Pierre onto Fatu for two more and we’re clipped to Fatu managing a backdrop over the top.

Naturally that means it’s time to put the camera on the commentators, with the tag back to Samu bringing us back to the ring. That’s cut off in a hurry though as Samu’s head gets caught in the ropes to slow him down. A piledriver puts Samu down but the top rope Cannonball misses. Polo tries to get up but gets dropped by Afa and Captain Lou Albano. Jacques accidentally decks Pierre, who hits him right back. The double Stroke into the Superfly Splash gives Fatu the pin and the titles at 19:30.

Rating: C-. I was always a Headshrinkers fan but this didn’t work out very well. Other than Pierre getting some crazy height on the Cannonball, there wasn’t much to be seen here. It was just a kind of dull match, though seeing a title change on a tape like this is a cool bonus. Just have a better match next time.

From Poughkeepsie, New York on March 21, 1994, from the April 4 Raw.

Adam Bomb vs. Earthquake

Wrestlemania X rematch with Earthquake powering him out of the ring to start. Bomb misses a big swing and gets clotheslined back down for his efforts. Another knockdown works for Bomb and an elbow gets two. Earthquake does his best Andre impression by being tied up in the ropes but we pause for Howard Finkel to stare Harvey Wippleman down. Bomb misses another elbow but so does Earthquake. A top rope clothesline gives Bomb two but Earthquake hits a nice belly to belly. Another elbow (geez) and legdrop set up the Earthquake from Earthquake for the pin at 4:21.

Rating: D+. Well that was a lot of missed elbows. Seriously there were probably five of them missing in a match that wasn’t even five minutes long. It isn’t a good sign when the match is this long and somehow worse than their really short match at Wrestlemania. Also, Earthquake winning again in 1994 is bizarre to see.

Bearer has apparently been in a theater and recaps what we have been seeing. He could be completely cut out of this and nothing would be lost. And he’s not even in a crypt!

From Utica, New York on April 11, 1994 on the April 18, 1994 Raw.

Bret Hart vs. Kwang

Hart’s WWF Title isn’t on the line. Kwang hammers away to start and kicks Hart in the face before spraying the green mist into the air (not slime Vince). Hart fights up and takes over onto the arm, including some armdrags into an armbar. That’s broken up and Hart is sent outside as we take a break.

Back with Kwang hitting a running spinwheel kick in the corner and getting two off a snapmare (yes a snapmare). The nerve hold goes on as Owen Hart calls in, with Bret fighting up and hitting a quick crossbody. Owen calmly talks about how he’s going to beat Bret in a Wrestlemania rematch as Bret fights back and hits a few Moves Of Doom. The Sharpshooter finishes Kwang off at 10:18.

Rating: C. Well that was short and to the point. This was little more than a reason to have Owen call in and to get Bret on the tape. That makes for a weird moment though as this was about setting up an upcoming Raw match, which you wouldn’t be able to see if you were watching the tape later. It doesn’t help that it was a nothing match with Kwang not being much of a challenge in any way.

From Rochester, New York on April 13, 1994.

Quebecers/Jeff Jarrett vs. Men On A Mission/Doink The Clown

Monsoon forgets that Ray Rougeau has retired and it’s Doink dropping a right hand on Jacques to start. Jarrett gets in a cheap shot from the apron and comes in to stomp away as commentary points out that the Quebecers’ titles aren’t on the line. You couldn’t put this match before the title change on the same tape? Mo comes in to trade shoulders with Pierre, who easily takes over with a big running shoulder (that looked good), only to charge into a spinebuster.

Doink comes in but gets stomped down as the alternating beating begins. A big toss sends Doink throat first onto the top rope and Pierre gets backdropped onto him for two. Jarrett’s dropkick in the corner sets up more choking and Doink is about to lose his hair. Monsoon: “HEY DOINK! GET OUT!” A sunset flip gives Doink one and he is immediately stomped right back down.

Doink finally gets a boot up to knock Pierre away and the tag…well it should bring in Mable as the referee didn’t see it despite looking right at them. Monsoon is calling for Mabel to come in and drag Doink to the right corner as Jacques gets two off a piledriver. Doink gets up and brings in Mabel to clean house without much effort. A clothesline sets up the double splash to pin Jacques 11:33.

Rating: D+. This tape is getting to the point of horrible with one dull match after another. Here we had Doink getting beaten up for a good while, with Monsoon getting annoyed at the whole thing (and forgetting who was Mo and who was Oscar). Mabel was the big wrecking ball at the end but it was a really dull path to get there.

Paul Bearer talks about going to the theater with Undertaker on cold nights.

From Springfield, Massachusetts on February 2, 1994.

Lex Luger/Randy Savage vs. Yokozuna/Crush

Savage is banged up but Monsoon insists that he was going to wrestle after putting his “John Henry” on the contract. Luger and Yokozuna start things off with Yokozuna punching him down. Some running clotheslines rock Yokozuna but he drops Luger with a single clothesline. Savage comes in to work on the arm and the good guys change without a tag when Crush tries to cheat.

Yokozuna pulls Luger over to the corner for the tag to Crush, who takes over rather quickly. It’s already back to Savage, who gets distracted by Mr. Fuji and beaten down into the corner as things slow back down. Crush grabs a bodyscissors as this couldn’t be more of a “yeah we’re doing the match, don’t expect anything else” match if it tried, because they aren’t exactly doing so.

Yokozuna comes in for the nerve hold (with his back to the camera because this wasn’t a TV match. The big charge misses in the corner and Savage…well eventually goes towards the right corner but takes so long that Crush cuts him off. Crush goes up top but misses a….I think we’ll say knee, allowing the tag off to Luger. That’s cut off almost immediately but Savage gets in a salt bucket shot to Crush for the pin at 12:21. Yeah what a hero.

Rating: D. Oh sweet goodness this was lame as CRUSH was probably working the hardest here. No one cared in the slightest out there and the match just came and went. I know it’s the last match of the night and the fans are ready to go home, but sweet goodness, a bit of effort should not be too much to ask. Horrible stuff.

Bearer sets up the main event, thank goodness.

From Springfield, Massachusetts on November 30, 1993.

Undertaker vs. Crush

Crush doesn’t even get an entrance here to show you how important this is. Commentary makes impotence jokes as we get a staredown to start. Crush hammers away but gets caught with a running DDT as the pace is already slowing. An elbow drop misses and it’s a clothesline to put Undertaker on the floor, only for him to grab the Stunner over the top.

Old School connects before Undertaker misses the jumping clothesline (that looked weird). Crush superkicks him outside as Johnny Polo wants to know the difference between a thrust kick and a crescent kick. Some chair shots put Undertaker down and the slow strikes ensue. A ram into the corner wakes Undertaker up for some reason but Crush cuts him off with a backbreaker.

The posing lets Undertaker sit up, with Polo freaking out because it takes so long for Undertaker to sit up that you can pin him. Crush does some military presses (geez) and drops a leg but Undertaker sits up again. For some reason Crush tries a Tombstone, which is reversed into the real thing to give Undertaker the win at 7:02.

Rating: C-. First and foremost: Johnny Polo came as close to saving this as he was HILARIOUS, with the running gag about covering Undertaker before the situp being great stuff and seemingly accurate. Other than that, they didn’t do much here but Crush’s military presses were impressive and Undertaker can do some good things with just about anyone. Somehow this was a better match than almost anything on the tape, which shows you just how bad things are going here. It wasn’t a great or even good match, but at least it was a nicer (on a sliding scale) way to end things.

Bearer wraps it up.

Overall Rating: D-. When Kwang is in the second best match out of two hours, there is not much wroth seeing on this stupid tape. This was one of the worst releases I’ve ever seen from Coliseum Video as there was no reason for it to be this bad. You could see how bad things were for the WWF around this time and egads this was a perfect showcase of why. Bad wrestling, few stars to get behind and just….what was supposed to be good here? Absolutely awful stuff.

 

 

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Royal Rumble 2002
Date: January 20, 2002
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 12,915
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a show that is rather fondly remembered by some but I don’t recall it being anything special. Maybe it holds up better over time, which has certainly been the case before. The big appeal is the return of HHH, who is back in the ring after about eight months away following the famous quadriceps injury. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look back at some classic Royal Rumble endings. This transitions into a look at HHH returning. In case you thought they were hiding the obvious winner, they aren’t trying in the slightest.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Spike Dudley/Tazz

The Dudleys, with Stacy Keibler, are challenging and they jump the champs to start. The reverse 3D drops Tazz on the floor, leaving Spike, in a neck brace, on his own. Another reverse 3D hits Spike inside and there’s another neckbreaker to put him down again. A suplex makes it even worse as Tazz is on the apron.

Spike slips out of another suplex and hits the Dudley Dog but D-Von cuts off a tag. One heck of a double flapjack (JR mentions the Midnight Express) sets up a middle Swan Dive from D-Von and the Dudleys clothesline each other by mistake. Tazz comes in o clean house with the suplexes but stops to Tazmission Stacy. Spike gets thrown over the top for a nasty crash to the floor, leaving Tazz to get the Tazmission on D-Von to retain at 5:07.

Rating: C. This is one of those instances where they were trying to do something different and I get the thinking, but Spike and Tazz as the best tag team around just didn’t work very well. They were certainly trying and there was a story here, but it this could have been on any given Raw and felt as unimportant. Points for trying, though it didn’t click.

We recap Edge defending the Intercontinental Title against William Regal, who has bee using the brass knuckles. Edge fought back with a chair to break his nose, so now it’s time to fight for good.

Edge has his chair and is ready to fight the Devil, who is going to get burned.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. William Regal

Edge is defending. We get the old weapons check on Regal…and the referee finds the brass knuckles. You don’t see that very often. I mean, it happens every time I watch this match but that’s probably just an odds thing. Edge starts fast and hammers away as Lawler thinks the referee planted the brass knuckles in Regal’s trunks. Regal comes back with a shot to the face to take over and adds some jumping knees to the face.

The cross arm choke has Edge in more trouble but he suplexes his way to…well not freedom as Regal holds on and hits a tiger bomb for two. They head to the apron where Edge grabs a DDT onto the apron for a rather delayed two, despite his legs being underneath the ropes. Back up and they collide for a double knockdown, followed by Edge grabbing a suplex for two more. Regal shows him how to do a much better suplex so Edge nails a hard clothesline.

A quick Regal Stretch has Edge in trouble, sending him over to the ropes. Naturally Edge grabs the same hold and of course Regal goes right back to the ropes for a break of his own. A top rope spinwheel kick (that always looks good) connects but Regal pulls out even more brass knuckles (How did the referee not notice those?). The spear takes out the referee by mistake and Regal knocks Edge cold for the title at 9:45.

Rating: C+. This was a bit better than the opener but it still felt like something that could have been on a regular television show. The stuff with the brass knuckles was a nice touch though, with Regal being the kind of person to have multiple weapons just in case. Edge would be on his way to some far bigger and better things going forward, not the least of which would be a nice shampoo commercial.

Post match Regal brags about being blessed with the Power Of The Punch. JR: “He’s a liar!”

Women’s Title: Jazz vs. Trish Stratus

Stratus, with a bad hand, is defending and Jacqueline is guest referee. Jazz starts fast and fires off a backdrop, setting up a splash (JR: “Right on the purple puppies!” Lawler: “Hey, that’s my line! Right on the purple puppies!”) for two. Another knockdown lets Jazz start in on the hand but it’s time to argue with Jacqueline. Some shoving ensues and Jacqueline counts a VERY slow two off a rollup. A quick Stratusfaction gives Stratus two but Jazz is back with a DDT for the same. Back up and Jazz charges into a boot in the corner, setting up a bulldog to give Stratus the retaining pin at 3:43.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure how much Jacqueline added here as she was little more than a familiar face who didn’t really do anything for the ending. Maybe it’s a way to give Stratus a chance, but it wasn’t exactly a good match and felt like it could have been on TV. In other words, it was the women’s division in 2002.

Ric Flair’s family is here for his street fight.

We recap Vince McMahon vs. Ric Flair. Back in November, Flair debuted as the new co-owner of the WWF, leading to a not so great business relationship. They hate each other so they’re having a street fight. Naturally Vince dressed up as Flair because that’s one of his favorite deals. Then he beat Flair up with a pipe a bunch of times. This is WAY longer of a recap than this match probably needs.

Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon

Street fight. They circle each other to start and Vince shoves him down, meaning it’s time to pose. Flair goes for the grappling to take over but gets taken into the corner for some shots to various places. They go outside with McMahon bending a KEEP OFF sign over Flair’s head. Some trashcan shots have Flair busted open as this has been pretty much all Vince so far.

The beating continues with Vince grabbing a camera to take a picture of the bloody Flair but Flair’s daughter takes it away. Back inside and Vince starts in on the leg with some cranking before the required Figure Four. With that broken up, Vince grabs the lead pipe but Flair hits him low for the needed breather.

Flair knocks him outside and gets in a monitor shot to the head to bust Vince open. The beating takes Vince around the ring to Flair’s daughter, who takes pictures with the camera from earlier (nice touch). There’s another low blow and now Flair has the pipe. The big shot to the head sets up the Figure Four and Vince gives up at 14:58.

Rating: B. This was a match where they didn’t go anywhere away from the most basic route and that’s what it should have been. Vince attacked him to start and tried to humiliate him, only for Flair to fight back and do the exact same things to him. Flair then beat him with a wrestling hold because he’s the better man and the fans got behind him throughout. It’s a match that Flair can do in his sleep and it worked well here. Good stuff and by far the best part of the show so far.

Nick Patrick has no idea what he thought of the William Regal title win but Stephanie McMahon comes in. She dismisses Patrick and promises that HHH will destroy everyone. It’s a shame Steve Austin’s wife Debra won’t be there, but Austin pops up behind her for the WHAT treatment (when it was still new). With Stephanie gone, Austin does a lot of WHATing about winning the Royal Rumble.

We recap Chris Jericho defending the WWF Title against the Rock. They had been feuding before Jericho won the title and now they’re doing it again after he won. Rock has made it clear that he’s taking Jericho seriously because this isn’t a joke. Then he said “tick tock, tick tock” a bunch.

WWF Title: Chris Jericho vs. The Rock

Jericho is defending and talks trash to start, meaning the beating is on in a hurry. The Samoan drop gives Rock an early two so Jericho bails out to the floor. Back in and the flying forearm takes Rock down but he avoids a charge into the post. Jericho is fine enough to hit the spinwheel kick for two and of course he complains about the count. The arrogant cover gets two and the missile dropkick connects for the same.

We hit the chinlock for a good while before Jericho goes up, only to get caught by some right hands. A superplex brings Jericho back down and they both need a breather. Back up and Rock hammers away, with his belly to belly throw getting two. Jericho is right back with the bulldog into a pair of Lionsaults for two but dives into the Sharpshooter.

Cue Lance Storm for a distraction as Jericho is tapping, leaving Rock to have to fight off an invading Christian. Jericho’s Rock Bottom gets two as the other Canadians are ejected but a counterfeit People’s Elbow is broken up. They fight out to the floor and Rock hits a heck of a Rock Bottom through the announcers’ table for a huge crash. Back in and Jericho countering another Rock Bottom into the Walls, sending Rock over to the ropes.

The referee gets bumped and there’s a belt shot for two, with another referee running in for the count (If he saw the ref bump, how did he not see the belt shot ten seconds later?). Rock grabs a DDT but the new referee (Nick Patrick, who was screwy earlier in the Regal match) won’t count, earning himself a Rock Bottom. The spinebuster and Rock Bottom get…nothing as there’s no referee. Well Rock brought that on himself. Jericho hits him low and sends him into an exposed buckle for a rollup with feet on the ropes for the pin to retain at 18:49.

Rating: B+. Jericho was reaching a new level at this point and having long form pay per view matches with people on the Rock’s level was only going to help that. It had a lot of shenanigans at the end, but what matters is Jericho beat someone that important. Jericho was needing to make it last while it could though, as the major stars were on their way. Rock was in a weird place too, as he was so huge at this point that he needed something special and going after the title really didn’t feel that important. At least not here. Anyway, rather good match here as these two work together very well.

Don’t try this at home.

Shawn Michaels, in a very Texas shirt, is at WWF New York and loved the McMahon vs. Flair match. He’s got the Undertaker or Steve Austin in the Royal Rumble.

We recap the Royal Rumble, which is HHH’s to win by about a hundred miles, with Steve Austin, Undertaker and Kurt Angle as the other best options….but it’s going to be HHH. They really didn’t even bother trying to hide it, which sometimes can’t be avoided.

Royal Rumble

Two minute intervals with Rikishi in at #1 and the returning Goldust in at #2. The ring is mostly covered in gold confetti as Goldust hammers away, only to be knocked to the apron. This lets commentary explain the rules again, which is perfectly fine and a good way to get fans refreshed before things get crazy. Rikishi knocks him down into the corner and here is Big Boss Man in at #3 to get knocked into the corner as well. A running clothesline turns Rikishi inside out and the slow brawling ensues until Bradshaw is in at #4.

The Stinkface has Boss Man in trouble and that’s the first elimination. Bradshaw powerbombs Goldust and it’s Lance Storm in at #5. The lack of anything interesting continues as it’s just low level people hitting each other without much urgency. Al Snow is in at #6 to pick up the pace a bit (let that one sink in for a bit) and the Clothesline From Bradshaw knocks Storm silly (but not out).

Billy Gunn is in at #7 and is quickly booted in the face by Bradshaw. Snow and Storm fight to the apron with Storm being superkicked out, which is somehow the most exciting part of the match about ten minutes in. Goldust dumps Bradshaw and it’s the Undertaker in at #8 to likely clear out more than a few people. Undertaker cleans house and knocks out everyone else in the ring without much trouble, leaving him standing alone (the fans like it).

Matt Hardy is in at #9 and it goes about as well as you would expect, only for Lita (who Undertaker recently attacked) to dive in for a distraction. A low blow lets Matt get in a running neckbreaker but Undertaker slugs him away. Undertaker loads up a suplex but Jeff Hardy is in at #10 for the save and we get a Team Xtreme beatdown. With Lita on the floor, Undertaker fights back, only to get caught in the Twist Of Fate/Swanton. Poetry In Motion is a bad idea though as Jeff is thrown out, leaving Matt to take the Last Ride, setting up the easy elimination.

Undertaker is left alone and it’s Maven, from Tough Enough, in at #11 (unfortunately with his rather awesome song missing). Undertaker goes after Lita again though and the Hardys come in to jump him. The sore losers are thrown out again….and Maven eliminates Undertaker with a dropkick. This marks the all time high point of Maven’s career and is immediately followed by an absolute massacre, as Undertaker completely wrecks him, including a nasty chair shot to the head.

Maven is thrown back inside as Scotty 2 Hotty is in at #12 and is punched in the face on the way to the ring. The bloody Maven is thrown over the top for an elimination as the destruction continues. Undertaker knocks him through the crowd and into the concession area, where the bloody Maven (as Christian is in at #13) is sent through a popcorn machine. Christian lays over the top as Scotty finally gets in, which is a heck of a lot better than waiting around for someone else to enter.

Diamond Dallas Page is in at #14 and goes after Christian but gets superkicked to the floor (not out). That leaves Scotty to give Christian the Worm…and then get thrown out by Page. Chuck is in at #15 as we’re back to the lack of top level stars. Chuck and Page slug it out (and do better than you might expect) as the Godfather, now the owner of an escort service is back at #16.

This means bringing out twelve women for his entrance, including a lot of dancing (JR: “Well he did give me a coupon earlier today…” Lawler: “HE’S GOT COUPONS!”) as we just stop watching the match. Page is eliminated off camera as Godfather goes back for more dancing. Godfather finally gets in and is promptly beaten down as Albert (the Hip Hop Hippo) is in at #17.

The villains fight up and knock out Albert and then Godfather, as this is still managing to stay slow. Perry Saturn is in at #18 and it’s more of the same generic brawling. We’re desperately needing someone to come in and spice things up….and Steve Austin is in at #19. Yeah that works, with Austin clearing the ring with three straight eliminations.

That doesn’t leave him anything to do, so he throws Christian and Chuck back in for another Stunner and toss over the top each. That’s the kind of thing Austin would do and it made him feel like so much more of a star because he was doing something extra other than just sitting around waiting. Val Venis (also returning) is in at #20 and actually takes over for a bit, which isn’t likely to last long. Indeed it doesn’t as Austin fights up, only to be jumped by Test, who is in at #21.

Austin fights up and eliminates them like they’re Val Venis and Test against Steve Austin in the Royal Rumble. That leaves Austin alone…and HHH is in at #22 for the mega showdown. They stare each other down and eventually slug it out until Hurricane is in at #23, as a double clothesline gives us a double knockdown. Hurricane tries a double chokeslam, giving us a funny look between Austin and HHH before they throw him out.

Faarooq is in at #24 and gets in a few shots before being tossed out as well. HHH and Austin get to fight some more and it’s the returning (we have a theme) Mr. Perfect in at #25 to quite the reaction. Perfect wisely takes his time getting in before going after Austin and punching HHH down. Things slow again until Kurt Angle is in at #26, with the fans knowing they’re in for some bigger stuff now.

For some reason Austin saves HHH from Angle, earning himself an overhead belly to belly. Big Show is in at #27 but the double chokeslam is broken up. Show fights back and tries a gorilla press on Angle, with HHH making the save. JR tries to explain that HHH feels Show is a bigger threat than Angle and….eh I guess I can take that. Show cleans house and chokeslams HHH but it’s Kane in at #28.

We get the big power showdown and Kane dumps Show, only to walk into a Stunner, allowing Angle to throw Kane out as well. Rob Van Dam is in at #29 with a Five Star to Angle and kicks to various people. Rolling Thunder hits Austin but HHH is back with a Pedigree, leaving everyone down. Booker T. is in at #30, giving us a final grouping of Austin, HHH, Perfect, Van Dam, Angle and Booker, who tosses Van Dam with no trouble.

The Spinarooni ensues…and so does a Stunner to get rid of Booker in about thirty seconds. Angle Angle Slams HHH and then rolls the German suplexes, only for Austin to get in a low blow. Austin is sent out to the apron but fights back…and is tossed by Angle and Perfect in something of a surprise exit.

We’re down to three and the beating continues on the floor. That doesn’t work for Austin, who comes back in with chair shots for everyone before leaving himself. Perfect is up with the PerfectPlex and Hennig necksnap to Angle, only for HHH to throw Perfect out. HHH takes Angle down and hammers away before getting in some choking. A backdrop sends HHH to the apron but he’s right back in with a facebuster and clothesline for the win at 1:09:25.

Rating: C+. I couldn’t get into this one for the most part, as there were just so many parts of low level names doing the bare minimum. It had some good parts, like the Undertaker vs. the Hardys, Maven’s destruction, HHH vs. Austin and most of Austin’s shenanigans, but those were feeling really far apart at times. It’s certainly not the worst Rumble, but HHH was the clear winner throughout and that made for a long stretch until we got to the ending.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a show that needed one more good match as the first three were just passable at best. The Flair vs. McMahon and Jericho vs. Rock matches were both worth a look and the Rumble was ok enough, but there just wasn’t much that stood out. The Rumble needed another viable winner, and with Undertaker out early and Austin just past his prime, it wasn’t there. Not a bad show at all, but there are far better options.

Ratings Comparison

Spike Dudley/Tazz vs. Billy and Chuck

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C

William Regal vs. Edge

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C+

Trish Stratus vs. Jazz

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C-

Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: B

Chris Jericho vs. The Rock

Original: B+
2013 Redo: B
2025 Redo: B+

Royal Rumble

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: B-
2013 Redo: B-
2025 Redo: B-

So most of the matches were lower but the overall rating was the same every time. In case you need any more proof that I used to be really bad at my job, here you go. The first three matches aren’t very good but they’re not as bad as I had said before.

 

 

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