Monday Night Raw – April 25, 1994: Back to the Downward Spiral
Monday Night Raw Date: April 25, 1994 Location: Memorial Auditorium, Utica, New York Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage
It has to be better than last week, almost by definition. That being said, the big draw for the week is Nikolai Volkoff as the guest on the King’s Court. I’m really scared of what this show might do to my psyche and I survived the entirety of Nitro and Thunder. At least this one is just an hour long so let’s get to it.
Vince immediately plugs Volkoff’s appearance and we’re already in the downward spiral.
Opening sequence.
Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon
Non-title but if Jarrett wins, he’s going to be on a country music talk show. Vince makes sure to get in Hee Haw jokes but I’m more interested in Ramon’s powder blue boots. Jeff takes him down and swats at Razor’s head to start but is quickly tossed outside with the fall away slam. Razor follows him outside and gets sent into the steps as we see Volkoff sitting in the crowd (not mentioned by commentary).
Jeff gets two off an elbow to the jaw and there’s the middle rope fist drop for the same. We hit the chinlock as the announcers switch over to boxing. Back from a break with Razor’s sunset flip getting two and Savage needing a shower. It’s off to a sleeper for the required two arm drops. Savage: “I HAVE NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE!”
Razor’s belly to back suplex gets two but gets sent outside….and here’s Shawn Michaels. Shawn doesn’t do anything but Razor hits him in the jaw anyway. Well to be fair he’s a bad guy. Razor makes his latest comeback and clotheslines Jeff to the floor but stops to pull Shawn inside. The beating is on, only to have Diesel come in for the DQ.
Rating: C+. The match wasn’t even all that great but it’s already made the show better than anything else they had going on in recent weeks. Jarrett certainly isn’t the most interesting wrestler in the world but at least he’s capable of having a good match if you give him the right opponent. He and Razor always had good chemistry too so the match was certainly watchable.
Diesel destroys Razor post match, including hitting the Jackknife and standing on his chest. Shawn does the same and drops the title on Ramon. Diesel would win the title on Sunday’s TV show.
Shawn says Diesel is the real champion. Diesel says the opportunity was there and he seized it.
Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Tony DeVito
The announcers talk about Jimmy Carter’s daughter and Prince Charles’ dog. Vince: “I don’t get the connection.” DeVito hits a shoulder but gets dropkicked down. Out of current news to discuss/mock, Vince gets a call from Jack Tunny, who officially makes the Quebecers vs. the Headshrinkers for the titles next week. Bigelow finishes with the enziguri.
The Quebecers will face the Headshrinkers but they’re NOT happy with it.
The Mayor of Stamford, Connecticut thanks the company for a fundraiser they held recently. Did we mention Vince was dealing with the steroids trial around this time? No connection of course but just though I’d throw that out there.
Heavenly Bodies vs. John Paul/Jason Headings
Paul gets thrown around to start so it’s off to the long haired Headings, who takes a quick Veg-O-Matic for two. We hear about Mr. Perfect no showing a match in Cincinnati and an indefinite suspension as a result. Translation: he’s left the company, as would the Steiners and the Quebecers around this time. Del Ray takes Headings down and gyrates his (own) hips, which Vince calls disgusting. Prichard suplexes Del Ray into a moonsault for two as Vince talks about National Secretaries Week. Del Ray’s moonsault press finishes Jason.
Rating: D+. I couldn’t stand the Bodies back in the day but they’ve grown on me in repeat viewings. They were a solid, slower paced team and that’s where Cornette was perfect as the manager. Good little squash here with Del Ray’s high flying helping move things along quite well.
It’s King’s Court time with Lawler bringing up Volkoff, who is $8 shy of having thirty cents. Lawler mocks the hideous brown suit as you can see a lot of empty seats in the upper deck. That’s a bad sign when the building only holds about 5,700. Lawler makes jokes about Volkoff’s poverty but Volkoff says he’ll tell the truth. He’s just come from Europe but now he’s home in the United States. He’s made some bad investments and has lost a lot of money, though he’ll still fight Lawler anytime. Volkoff is looking for a job and is willing to work for any honest man. We’re actually to the point where a former evil foreign goon is the sympathetic face? There was NO ONE else available for this story?
1-2-3 Kid vs. Duane Gill
The announcers AGAIN talk about the Wrestlemania Revenge house show tour as Kid gets hammered in the corner to start. Kid gets in a top rope clothesline and a spinning kick to the jaw to take over. Gill takes him back down and grabs a chinlock as Vince gets on Savage for failing at reading an ad for a movie. Kid fights up and finishes with the spinwheel kick.
Rating: D+. At least Kid’s offense is entertaining enough to make these things a bit more bearable. Gill was one of those career jobbers until he somehow wound up winning the Light Heavyweight Title because you never can guess how things are going to go in wrestling. Nothing to see here of course but I’m still trying to get my head around Volkoff being a face, even for a short bit of time.
A guy at a deli saw Undertaker buying cheese. Apparently he likes pickles too. And they wonder why they were in peril at this point.
Owen Hart vs. Rich Myers
Owen trips him down to start and slaps him in the face as you can see at least four empty seats in the first five rows. A gutwrench suplex plants Myers as we hit the WE WANT BRET chants. The beating continues until Owen avoids a dropkick and grabs the Sharpshooter for the submission.
Rating: D. Another boring squash but that’s just what you have to expect at this point. Owen was on a roll at this point though and the WE WANT BRET chants at least show that they have a hot angle. Unfortunately it would be FOUR MONTHS before their title match with almost nothing of note in between from the two of them.
Johnny Polo and Lou Albano argue some more. Johnny: “WHAT ARE YOU A CAPTAIN OF ANYWAY???” Savage has had enough and grabs Polo so Albano can nail him to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. The opener helps this a lot but it’s very clear that the extra pay per views in 1995 helped a lot. There’s just NOTHING between Wrestlemania and King of the Ring and even that was a pretty lame show. Owen vs. Bret will be good but we’ll all be dead of old age by the time we get there. Bad show, but not as bad as the rest of the terrible month.
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Monday Night Raw – April 18, 1994: When Even Bret Can’t Save You
Monday Night Raw Date: April 18, 1994 Location: Memorial Auditorium, Utica, New York Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage
Save us Bret. Like please, SAVE US. The shows have gotten even more boring than they’ve been in the months leading up to this, which I wouldn’t have believed to be possible. Thank goodness Bret is back tonight and hopefully he can turn things around a bit. As long as Men on a Mission isn’t wrestling, we should be ok. Let’s get to it.
We open with a clip of Lawler falling off the throne last week.
Opening sequence.
Savage wants a title shot against Bret. Why didn’t he get one at some point actually?
Bret Hart vs. Kwang
Non-title. Kwang wastes no time in jumping Bret during the entrances and scores off some early kicks. If nothing else we get the highly amusing idea of Vince trying to call the various kicks in a moment that would make Eric Bischoff cry. Bret easily takes him down and works on the arm, only to be sent hard out to the floor. A weak forearm from the apron drops Bret again as Vince says Kwang could be ranked in contention for the title if he wins here. I’ll take that over “getting into the title hunt”.
Back from a break with Bret still in trouble via a nerve hold as Owen Hart calls in. The power of his brother’s voice lets Bret get in a crossbody, only to have Kwang choke him on the ropes again. Bret avoids a spinwheel kick as Owen brags about beating Bret at Wrestlemania (as he should). The Five Moves of Doom set up the Sharpshooter to make Kwang quit. Savage: “THIS IS HISTORY!”
Rating: D. What were you expecting here? When a guy isn’t even good enough to guarantee a spot in the title hunt by beating the champ, it might be time to find a better career. Like as a Caribbean legend with a high level of success strap matches. Bret vs. Owen is clearly the big match coming up and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Doink and Dink were at a charity hockey game. There’s nothing wrong with that.
Jeff Jarrett vs. P.J. Walker
The announcers talk about current events to avoid having to talk about how bad this match could be. Jeff takes him down to start and runs his mouth about wanting respect. Well I guess Jarrett is higher up in the ranks than Kwang. Savage STILL wants a shot at Bret and again I want to know why that never went anywhere, even as a one off house show match. We hit the abdominal stretch and let’s talk about a book written by Bill Clinton’s mother. Jarrett keeps things slow with a slingshot suplex and middle rope fist drop (Where’s Lawler when you need him?). A DDT ends Walker.
Rating: D. It’s slightly better than the opener, mainly due to a lack of Caribbean martial arts. Jarrett was ridiculously boring though and that’s not made any better by Vince ripping on Clinton for some issues with beauty queens. I’ll spare you the Trump joke/reference for now and get away from this match as fast as I can.
Lou Albano wants a title shot for the Headshrinkers next week.
Steiner Brothers vs. Barry Hardy/Mike Khoury
Scott throws Khoury around with ease before it’s off to Barry, who eats a t-bone suplex of his own. A hard kick to the ribs makes things even worse as the Steiners are seeming a bit stiffer than usual. Rick sends Barry ribs first into the corner as Savage implies he’d date Christie Brinkley. He has good taste if nothing else.
Scott ties Barry in the Tree of Woe and chokes as Vince points out that the Steiners are being more aggressive than usual. More Clinton sex jokes follow and Rick busts out a belly to belly superplex. A middle rope Angle Slam plants Barry and it’s the FREAKING STEINER SCREWDRIVER (completely ignored by the announcers) to end Khoury.
Rating: D+. I could watch that Screwdriver all day as it’s one of the best looking finishers of all time. On top of that, I could go for more of these aggressive Steiner Brothers but unfortunately they were on their way out of the promotion due to wanting to work more in Japan. At least we get one more good squash before they leave in a month or so and that’s never a bad thing.
Duke Droese, the wrestling garbageman, is coming. Duke: “I don’t take trash from anyone. Well yeah I do.” And that’s all you need to know about Duke Droese.
It’s time for the King’s Court with guest Women’s Champion Alundra Blayze so Lawler gets in some ugly jokes before she comes out. There’s no title belt to start but Blayze does have a gift for Lawler: a Burger King crown labeled Lawler is a Loser. Hard hitting indeed. Blayze makes jokes about last week’s fall, which is getting more mileage than Wrestlemania at this point.
We hear about this being a ripoff of Piper’s Pit (well duh) and Blayze thinks Piper should be getting royalties. Lawler goes into a rant about Piper wearing a dress and manages to spit on Blayze. He gets to the point of asking about the belt, which Blayze turns into a question about Lawler wearing women’s clothes.
Lawler brings out Luna Vachon, with Lawler suggesting that Luna stole the title. If she did, Blayze didn’t seem too mad about it until Vachon came out here. Luna says she didn’t steal the title but if she was champion, she would keep her belt with her. Blayze accuses Luna of stealing the title so she can feel like a champion and challenges her to a fight. Of course she leaves before Luna can do anything, making this a rather awkward segment.
Blayze was REALLY bad on the mic here but it’s fairly clear that she didn’t get to talk very much. It would take her a long time to get better on that and while she was never great, she would be passable and that’s about all you need to be, especially when women’s wrestling wasn’t a big deal during her era.
Earthquake vs. Mike Bell
Vince AGAIN pushes the house show tour, including speculation of Earthquake vs. Yokozuna. Earthquake sends him outside to start and Bell actually gets in some right hands on the way back in. A dropkick (topsy turvy according to Savage) puts Bell down though and it’s time for the squashilization to begin. Earthquake gets in a second dropkick and grabs a belly to belly as I think you get the idea from here. The big leg sets up the Earthquake for the easy pin.
Rating: D. I always forget that Earthquake was a moderately big deal in 1994 and how odd it always seems. That’s quite odd as he was a Tag Team Champion as late as fall 1992 so this is hardly the biggest stretch in the world. If nothing else though, I get why he left to be a main event jobber in WCW instead of losing to Yokozuna over and over.
We look at IRS attacking Tatanka and Chief Jay Strongbow over Tatanka’s headdress. You have to pay those gift taxes you see.
IRS vs. Major Yates
Yates, who unfortunately isn’t a military guy, gets sent into the buckle to start as the IRWIN chants get going. We hit an early abdominal stretch, followed by a seated half nelson of all things. A sunset flip gives Yates two (Savage: “MAJOR YATES IS COOL!”) but the Penalty (STF) puts him away with no effort.
Rating: D-. For the love of all things good and holy END THIS SHOW ALREADY! If nothing else let me have some shorter squashes so I don’t have to come up with something to talk about every single time. These things are somehow getting worse and that makes for a very long set of matches.
Johnny Polo is NOT worried about fighting the Headshrinkers and he’s not heading to Toronto to beg Jack Tunney to not make the match.
Lawler promises Nikolai Volkoff as his guest next week. That’s your draw here people.
Overall Rating: F. Thank goodness it’s over. This was one of the worst episodes the show has ever done as it was just so BORING. The squashes were all longer than they needed to be and Bret was clearly not all that interested in doing anything of note. Terrible show here and I’ll take anything else at this point.
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Monday Night Raw – April 11, 1994: A Cameo Fit For A King
Monday Night Raw Date: April 11, 1994 Location: Memorial Auditorium, Utica, New York Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage
The big idea tonight is the fan vote for a shot at the Tag Team Titles. In other words, it was a way to get the fans to pay money for the sake of picking a match, even if it wasn’t the hardest decision in the world. Translation: a good idea that I’m surprised they only did a handful of times. Let’s get to it.
The Bushwhackers, Men on a Mission and the Smoking Gunns want you to vote for them.
Opening sequence.
The announcers welcome us to the show and thankfully that awful green screen is gone.
Diesel vs. Virgil
Diesel wastes no time in hammering the bald one down and starts in on his back. A side slam sets up a bearhug, which Vince thinks might be a submission maneuver. Virgil fights out but gets caught in the same hold (which may be of the submission variety) again. Diesel sends him into the corner and grabs the third version of the alleged submission hold (as opposed to a countout hold). That edition is broken up fairly quickly though and Virgil gets two off a dropkick. Diesel kicks him in the chest though and the Jackknife is good for the pin.
Rating: D-. This match wasn’t even six minutes long and we had the same submission hold (yes submission Vince) three times. If nothing else though, it makes sense to have Diesel beat a somewhat bigger name (work with me here) in Virgil, as beating up the nameless jobbers is only going to get him so far, which it’s already done.
Vince pimps the number to pick the challengers again.
It’s time for the King’s Court with the jobbers dropping the throne near the ring. Lawler freaks out as only he can, including yelling at one of them who is none other than D’Lo Brown. After a break, Lawler’s crown is shoved down on his head for an even more ridiculous look than usual.
Lawler’s guest is Lex Luger, who mocks the style of the show. When Lawler glares at him, Luger sits down on the throne to make Lawler even angrier. Lawler finally gets to the point and brings up Mr. Perfect allegedly costing Luger the match. We see the clip and again, Perfect has a point: Luger shoved him and that should be a DQ.
Luger says that was clearly personal and if Perfect had a problem with him, he should have been a man and settled it man to man instead of waiting until the most important night of Luger’s career. He’d love it if Perfect grew some guts and got in the ring with him like a man. Keep wishing Lex.
Thurman Sparky Plugg vs. Barry Horowitz
Barry grabs a wristlock and pats himself on the back as Savage talks about wanting to have eggs over easy in the morning. That leads to a discussion of wanting Undertaker to go to a mall in Worcester, Massachusetts to beat up a guy who punched a guy in a Barney the Dinosaur costume. As the boring match continues, Mr. Perfect calls in and Savage says he’s a coward. Perfect and Savage argue as Holly finishes with a top rope knee drop.
Rating: D. There was so much else going on with this match that I had almost no idea what I was supposed to be paying attention to. That being said, the fact that one of the wrestlers was named Thurman Plugg tells you almost everything you need to know about it. The commentary was more interesting and it’s not like the match meant anything in the first place.
The Quebecers want to know who they’re facing. Patience champs.
Tag Team Titles: Quebecers vs. Men on a Mission
Men on a Mission is challenging. The champs try to get in a cheap shot to start but Jacques knocks Johnny Polo to the floor and gets sent outside as we as we take an early break. Back with Pierre in trouble as Mabel drops the huge leg to the back of the head. Jacques comes in and kicks away at the monster’s leg for some success, only to have Pierre walk into a Boss Man Slam. Moral: don’t let Pierre wrestle as he’s not very good.
Mo comes in and is somehow even worse, allowing Pierre to beat him down. Back from a break with Pierre suplexing Jacques onto Mo for two. Mo avoids a charge in the corner but still can’t get over for a tag. Instead it’s a double clothesline to put both guys down and there’s the hot tag to Mabel.
The fat man gets dropped again but manages to run over Jacques. The champs do the switch behind the referee’s back but Mabel crushes Pierre anyway. A splash in the corner gives Mo two, only to have him go flying over the ropes in a crash because, again, he’s not very talented. Everything breaks down and Mabel slams Polo, leaving Mo to eat the Cannonball to retain the titles.
Rating: F+. Sweet goodness this was bad. The tag division was such a mess at this point and they decided to have Men on a Mission in there instead of rigging the poll for the sake of having the Gunns in there? Terrible match here with the far too long running time dragging the thing even lower.
The Bushwhackers, Doink and Dink were at the White House Easter Egg Roll.
IRS wants Tatanka to pay his taxes.
Overall Rating: D-. That tag match just killed the show, which wasn’t exactly any good in the first place. This show is dying for some better star power and some better wrestlers, which should be aided when Bret Hart is back next week. When the highlight of the show is Lawler falling and a D’Lo Brown cameo, the show is in real trouble and I think a lot of people knew it.
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Monday Night Raw – April 4, 1994: Everybody in the Ring for a Ten Man Tag
Monday Night Raw Date: April 4, 1994 Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York Commentators: Vince McMahon, Gorilla Monsoon
I still can’t get away from this year. This is just over two weeks after Wrestlemania X so Bret Hart is reigning on high as the WWF World Champion. There isn’t much else going on at the moment as we’re still firmly in the fallout stage, meaning things aren’t going to pick up again for a good while. Let’s get to it.
Adam Bomb and Earthquake got in an argument backstage and a match was set up for later. That would be a Wrestlemania rematch in case you needed the extra spice.
Opening sequence.
The announcers, in front of a horrible green screen, welcome us to the show and talk baseball.
Earthquake vs. Adam Bomb
Bomb jumps him at the bell (I guess he has a short fuse) but gets clotheslined outside for his efforts. Back in and the shoulders have no effect on Earthquake so let’s head outside for another breather. Vince: “Maybe he can find some direction from North Korea.” Bomb comes back in with a slingshot clothesline for two as Howard Finkel and Harvey Wippleman get into it on the floor. As Vince plugs house shows, Bomb charges into a boot and gets suplexed down. The Earthquake ends Bomb without too much effort.
Rating: D. This was far longer than their Wrestlemania match (which only lasted about thirty seconds) and I’m not sure I get the point in having Earthquake win here, unless they were setting him up to be fed to Yokozuna or something. Anyway, not a great match here by any stretch but given who was in there, this could have been worse. Not much more standard, but worse.
We look back at Mr. Perfect costing Lex Luger the WWF World Title at Wrestlemania.
Luger blames Perfect because he wants revenge.
Here’s Perfect for an explanation. An explanation of him being shoved and disqualifying Luger as a result? Monsoon rants about what Perfect did and wants to know what was going on. Perfect says he has nothing against Luger or Yokozuna but Luger pulled both Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji into the ring. That was ok though and Perfect let them go.
Then Luger turned Perfect around but that was allowed too because it was a championship match. But then Luger turned him around again and pushed him and that was too far. If the people have a problem with that, they’re the ones with the problem. Monsoon threatens him with some Luger violence to wrap things up.
Razor Ramon tells us to keep watching.
Razor Ramon vs. Austin Steele
Non-title. Steele looks like Buddy Landel. Razor throws him down and grabs a modified STF so he can slap Steele in the back of the head. We hit a long abdominal stretch before a chokeslam and a hard Razor’s Edge put Steele away.
Rating: D+. Razor’s offense looked crisp as usual and Steele looked good bouncing around on the mat. Most of the match was spent hyping up Ramon vs. Diesel on the upcoming house show tour and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s not like they had anything else to talk about at this point.
We look back at last week’s show with Johnny Polo and the Quebecers issuing an open challenge so Captain Lou Albano brought out the freshly face turned Headshrinkers.
Polo and the Quebecers aren’t sure who they’re facing next week (it could be the Smoking Gunns, the Bushwhackers or Men on a Mission) but they’ll fight anyone.
Tatanka/Thurman Sparky Plugg/1-2-3 Kid/Smoking Gunns vs. Headshrinkers/Jeff Jarrett/IRS/Rick Martel
This was originally scheduled for Wrestlemania but the heels couldn’t pick a captain (read as Shawn vs. Razor went REALLY long) and it was cut. Billy and Samu start things off with Gunn backsliding him for two, earning himself one heck of a clothesline to turn him inside out. The beating continues until Tatanka gets in a shot, allowing for the hot tag off to Bart (work with me here).
Jeff sends him into the buckle though and the villains take over again. IRS hammers away and we take a break. Back with Plugg working on Martel’s arm and getting two off a crossbody. The announcers talk about IRS wanting Tatanka to pay a gift tax on his new headdress (I’ve heard worse actually) as the armbarring continues.
It’s off to IRS vs. the Kid with a kick to the head almost knocking IRS’ tie off. Everything breaks down (as you might have expected) but IRS avoids a charge in the corner (which looked like a Bronco Buster to someone standing up, which basically means it was designed to miss) and pins the Kid without too much effort.
Rating: C. Longer than it needed to be here but it’s nice to have something that actually feels important for a change. If nothing else it’s nice to get whatever we missed from Wrestlemania, which actually bothered me back in the day. Even back then I didn’t buy the argument and thought it was just the show running long.
Pick the Quebecers’ opponents and give us your money!
It’s time for the debut of the Heartbreak Hotel with Shawn listing off the rules, including don’t take the towels and ashtrays. Now to the point: Diesel wants the Intercontinental Title. That’s about it and remember: at the Heartbreak Hotel, you can check out anytime you like but you can never leave. I can always go for some Eagles and it makes up for the lame segment, at least to a certain extent.
Video on Wrestlemania X.
Yokozuna vs. Scott Powers
Forearms to the back and the big legdrop set up the Banzai Drop for the quick squash. The only matter of note is Yokozuna checking the ropes because he’s scared after falling at Wrestlemania.
One more hotline plug ends the show.
Overall Rating: D+. A totally ho hum episode here with the only moderately interesting thing being the ten man tag. Shawn and the Heartbreak Hotel is hardly noteworthy, especially when it was clear that Shawn didn’t have the thing down yet. We’re firmly in the Wrestlemania fallout period here and that doesn’t mean the most interesting time in the world.
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Monday Night Raw – June 27, 1994: Money Can’t Buy Happiness, But It Can Buy Goons
Monday Night Raw Date: June 27, 1994 Location: Westchester County Civic Center, White Plains, New York Attendance: 3,400
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Randy Savage
It’s time to start the long term build towards Summerslam and barring a major surprise, that’s going to be Bret vs. Owen Hart for the title. With Owen winning the King of the Ring so recently, there’s no reason to go with anything else. Other than that, Ted DiBiase is trying to lure Lex Luger to the dark side. Oh please. Like Luger would EVER turn all of a sudden with little warning. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of last week’s King’s Court with Jerry Lawler attacking Duke Droese with a trashcan, which they actually don’t show here in a nice bit of living up to their word of not showing it again.
Droese is ready to follow up on whatever the WWF decides to do to him.
Lawler goes on a rant about how it was Droese’s fault until a producer reminds him why he’s here. He gives a rather forced apology but asks for a fine instead. He finally apologizes while looking like a four year old being told to take medicine. Apparently this was more legit than you would think as the trashcan spot was improvised and USA was REALLY mad. How in the world did they survive the Attitude Era?
Mabel vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
Bigelow forearms him down and actually gets a snapmare to put the bigger man down. Mabel gets up and stares at him before kicking Bigelow in the face. The legdrop to the back of the head draws Luna to the apron but Bigelow sends Mabel into the ropes, sending Luna crashing to the floor. A big crash knocks Mabel down again so Bigelow goes out to chase Oscar off, setting up the big brawl on the floor. Mabel drops Bigelow and beats the count for the win.
Rating: F+. That was supposed to be the big draw of the show. The very short length helped but my goodness is this really the best thing they could do? Mabel would somehow get much worse as he was pushed even harder and harder in the upcoming months, which somehow led to him headlining Summerslam about thirteen months later.
Bigelow and Luna argue until DiBiase comes out to recruit Bam Bam.
We go to two weeks ago where DiBiase introduced the “original” Undertaker, meaning Brian Lee (who was notably shorter) in Undertaker gear. One very nice touch here is the voice is the real Undertaker in a pre-recorded bit to add some realism. You know, to the zombie wrestler.
Buy the King of the Ring encore!
IRS vs. Rich Myers
On the way to the ring, IRS says it’s not his job to pay for your healthcare so pay your taxes. An early abdominal stretch sets up a suplex and we hit the chinlock. I’m going to assume you know who did the moves to whom. IRS’ STF (the Penalty) finishes Myers in a hurry.
It’s King’s Court time with Lawler talking about the Hart Foundation and bringing out Jim Neidhart as the founder of the team. Lawler thinks Bret should have been thanking Neidhart over and over for all the times he saved Bret’s career. Neidhart says Bret has called him for advice many times over the years but after all those times he won the “Belt. Championship. Title.”, Neidhart never got a thing. Then it was time to face Diesel and Bret called him again. Gorilla: “THAT’S A LIE!” Neidhart did what he did so Owen could become the champion as he deserves to be.
This brings out Owen in full on King attire, which looks so goofy in a 90s kind of way. Owen loves all this attention and you can feel the inferiority complex here for a good bit of storytelling. Neidhart is the only family member he can trust (Monsoon and Savage talk over the promo AGAIN, confirming that the two of them are brothers-in-law.) and he’s going to help Owen win the WWF World Title. Owen has done everything he’s said he’d do and now he wants Bret’s title. Savage and Monsoon really dragged this down as they probably talked over Owen and Neidhart five or six times.
Headshrinkers vs. Executioners
Non-title. Fatu and Agony (as it says on his tights) start things off with the Executioner getting powerslammed early on. A double noggin knocker makes things worse for the masked men (Savage: “I used to use a single noggin knocker!”) and the squash is strong with this one.
Fatu gets two more off a clothesline as Gorilla talks about his network of backstage sources: the Gorilla Vine. A middle rope DDT (picture someone going to the middle rope for right hands but Fatu DDTed him backwards instead) gets no cover as we hear about DiBiase doing something backstage. The double faceplant sets up the Superfly Splash to end Agony.
Rating: D. This is a good example of how the commentators can use a squash to help build a match. Savage was hyping up the Headshrinkers but it turned into a discussion of how good the Heavenly Bodies were. You have two talented teams and the announcers weren’t sure who would win. Let’s have a match and find out. That’s how you build a match but for some reason that ended somewhere along the line.
DiBiase is talking to Bigelow but gets annoyed upon seeing the camera.
Kwang vs. Mike Moraldo
A big boot drops the jobber but he ducks the mist. The squashing continues as Savage reads the ad for the upcoming USA movie. No that doesn’t mean anything but it’s not like I have anything else to talk about in a match like this. The spinwheel kick in the corner (which Kwang would do almost every time as Savio Vega) and another kick are good for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before another spinwheel kick finishes Moraldo.
Rating: D. Nothing to see here of course, save for the good looking spinning kicks. Well that and the snickering at all the usage of the word Kwang, which sounds like another word for….I think you get the joke. Kwang was your run of the mill martial arts guy and that’s the kind of gimmick you can always have in wrestling for a low level gimmick.
New Generation ad.
Lex Luger vs. Mike Bell
Luger shoves him around and misses a shoulder that Mike sells anyway. DiBiase comes out to watch as Luger gets two off a rollup and a clothesline (barely made contact) before finishing with the Rack.
ORDER THE REPLAY!
DiBiase has signed Bigelow and says Luger is next to end the show.
Overall Rating: F. Really bad way to end the month with a horrible show. This was a bunch of squashes and almost no angles, save for the obvious Owen challenge to Bret. DiBiase buying people up for his stable has potential but it’s not like the Million Dollar Team is all that interesting in the first place. Bad show, but what else are you expecting from June 1994?
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Monday Night Raw – June 20, 1994: Rich Men, Old Guys and Fat Tubs of Goo
Monday Night Raw Date: June 20, 1994 Location: Westchester County Civic Center, White Plains, New York Attendance: 3,400
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Randy Savage
It’s the night after King of the Ring and that means Owen Hart is the top heel in the promotion, which he kind of was coming into the pay per view. If nothing else we should have a main event set up for Summerslam now, with Owen challenging his brother Bret, who retained against Diesel. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Special moment here: the debut of the SPANISH announce team, though we don’t see their more famous table.
Diesel vs. Mark Thomas
Non-title. Thomas is absolutely jacked, to the point where I’m surprised they didn’t give him another look. Actually I’m not as this is during the middle of the STEROIDS TRIAL and this is the best jobber they can find. Thomas shrugs off a ram into the buckle as we talk about Jim Neidhart (which may never again be uttered in a discussion of Raw). We look at the commentary team and THERE’S THE TABLE!!! A knock to the floor has Thomas rocked and there’s the side slam back inside. Snake Eyes set up a neck crank, followed by the Jackknife for the pin.
Rating: D. This was just a way to get Diesel back on track, even though he won the match last night. He’s still the Intercontinental Champion and while that’s hardly remembered, it was a major point in his ascension to the top of the company. I still want to know why this jobber never got at least a look. Teach him almost anything and the look will carry the rest.
The King of the Ring Report recaps most of the show. That’s not the way I would push the encore but you can’t question the WWF’s business sense in 1994.
The announcers push the encore and you can see Savage high fiving fans behind him. That’s just cool.
1-2-3 Kid vs. Nikolai Volkoff
The winner gets a shot at Bret on July 11. Volkoff is part of the Million Dollar Team, meaning his (huge) gear says Property of the Million Dollar Man. Nikolai shoves him around a few times to start so Kid grabs a headlock for as much impact as you would expect. A choke takes Kid down and Volkoff stomps away, followed by a butterfly suplex as we flash back to the 70s. The gorilla press backbreaker gets two more but Volkoff pulls him up like a schnook. Kid tweaks his knee coming out of the corner but it’s just a fake, setting up a small package for the pin and the title shot.
Rating: D. The Kid was getting a lot better around this point but there’s only so much you can do against Volkoff and his ancient offense. It also doesn’t help when you’re supposed to believe that Volkoff is going to get a WWF World Title shot in 1994. Not a good match but again, why in the world was Volkoff in this spot?
Kid gets beaten down even more until Virgil of all people (He still had a job in 1994???) makes the save. That goes nowhere so Lex Luger makes the real save.
Next week: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Mabel! Thanks for the warning.
Yokozuna vs. Nick Barbery
Forearms and stomps to the back, chops, choking, big fat leg for the pin. The big story from the announcers: TYPHOON is coming to face Yokozuna. Again, thanks for the warning.
Typhoon vs. Black Phantom
Typhoon is billed from Norfolk, Virginia, which I never remember hearing otherwise. He runs into Yokozuna in the aisle and smacks him upside the head. Typhoon uses the big fat offense as Savage realizes that he’s doing commentary with Monsoon instead of Vince. The Phantom hammers away in the corner and looks quite good doing it, to the point where he probably should get a job. Actually he would as that would be the future Gangrel. A suplex and splash put the Phantom away with no effort.
It’s time for the King’s Court with Lawler wearing sunglasses. He rants about Piper bringing the (male) kid into the match, who Lawler claims was Piper’s daughter. Tonight’s guest is Duke the Dumpster Droese, the wrestling garbageman. Duke can’t get in the ring due to his stench though so Lawler makes Ace Ventura jokes. Droese says he doesn’t want to talk to a piece of garbage like Lawler so he walks out, only to have Lawler beat him with a garbage can.
Heavenly Bodies vs. Jim Powers/Russ Greenberg
Jim Cornette sits in on commentary and I could go with hearing him talk to Savage for years. Powers knees Del Ray down as we hear about the Bodies getting a Tag Team Title shot against the Headshrinkers. Prichard comes in and gets shouldered down as Cornette rants about Vanna White and dinosaurs. The Spanish commentary starts bleeding through, sending Cornette into one of his patented frenzied rants. Del Ray superkicks Russ, setting up an elevated DDT. Cornette says the Bodies are cockroaches and Del Ray mostly misses a moonsault press (cracking his pelvis in the process) for the pin.
Rating: D+. The Bodies are actually a really underrated tag team (I blame the hair) and it’s a shame that they never did much after Smoky Mountain went under. They had good looks and a solid enough gimmick to make it work, plus Cornette running his mouth like only he could. Check out their Smoky Mountain feud if you want to see just how good they could be.
Gorilla apologizes for the trashcan and says you’ll NEVER see that again.
Summerslam ad.
DiBiase has his eye on Luger and suggests he join the Million Dollar Team to end the show.
Overall Rating: D-. Some really bad wrestling this week but sweet tuna melts on toast with papaya on the side Bret vs. the Kid could tear the house down. This was the fallout show from the pay per view so there’s only so much you can get out of it. The bigger problem though is this was such a weak time for the company that outside of a few stories, it’s absolutely not worth watching.
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King of the Ring 1994 (2017 Redo): Oh Art Donovan, You Beautiful Disaster
King of the Ring 1994 Date: June 19, 1994 Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland Attendance: 12,000 Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Randy Savage, Art Donovan
It’s tournament time and that means it’s not likely to be the most interesting show in the world. On top of that, this is one of the weaker fields they’ve ever had, which makes for a rather dull few hours. Finally, this show is infamous for the commentary, which really was a disaster and a horrible idea. Let’s get to it.
Earlier today, Jeff Jarrett came up to the official bracket board and tried to advance himself. This brought in Bam Bam Bigelow, Owen Hart and IRS to start a big argument.
Opening sequence which explains the tournament (including running down the card) and the rest of the card. They’re REALLY stretching to fill in time here.
National Anthem.
The announcers welcome us to the show with Monsoon referring to Donovan as “Art O’Donnell”. Donovan, a former NFL player in his 70s who has NO IDEA what is going on here, picks Razor Ramon to win the tournament, which seems to be the only wrestler he’s been told about.
Before we get started, here are the brackets:
Razor Ramon
Bam Bam Bigelow
IRS
Mabel
Owen Hart
Tatanka
1-2-3 Kid
Jeff Jarrett
King of the Ring Tournament First Round: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Razor Ramon
Ramon throws the toothpick at Luna Vachon and gets beaten down for his efforts. So Bigelow is just being chivalrous? Bigelow hammers him down and drops a headbutt as Art says he can’t stand to watch it. That’s one of the only things he’s said all match because, in theory, he has no idea what he’s watching here (not his fault).
Razor gets a running start and slides underneath the ropes to crotch Bigelow against the post. The middle rope bulldog gets two and it’s off to a leglock. Art realizes that Bigelow has Luna in his corner and asks about her as Bigelow misses an enziguri. A missed charge sends Razor flying over the top for a crash as the announcers talk about how tough you have to be to win one of these things. For some reason Savage doesn’t bring up the whole winning a one night tournament to win the WWF World Title at Wrestlemania IV, which they would never let him get away with today.
Bigelow kicks him in the face for two and Donovan is impressed. Well Bigelow has certainly made it then. Some headbutts to the back have Ramon in trouble and it’s off to a torture rack of all things. The hold stays on for a good while and Art thinks Razor is dead. Bigelow finally flips him down and gets caught in a belly to back suplex to put both guys down. Art: “What happens now?” Bigelow is too big for the Razor’s Edge so he slams Razor and loads up the moonsault. Razor is right back up though and kind of powerbombs Bigelow off the top into a rollup to advance.
Rating: C-. Pretty slow and plodding here but there’s only so much Razor can do with someone Bigelow’s size. It helps that Bigelow is able to move around far better than most giants and it made for a watchable power match. Putting Razor, probably the most popular guy in the tournament, through to the second round, was pretty much mandatory here.
We go to Todd Pettengill at the big board where IRS gives one of the most awkward interviews ever about beating Mabel and then wanting to face Tatanka in the finals. Mabel says he’ll never have his shoulders pinned to the mat. Mo agrees and is lucky that no one punches him out.
King of the Ring Tournament First Round: IRS vs. Mabel
Art as IRS comes out: “Randy, is this one of the wrestlers?” Then he doesn’t know Mabel’s name, which thankfully is ignored by the other announcers. I get that the guy doesn’t know any better but he’s already getting annoying. IRS tries to jump him from behind and gets sent into the corner over and over for his efforts.
Art wants to leave because of the danger of IRS having to fight someone twice his size and you can tell Gorilla and Randy are already sick of him. A Samoan drop sets up a big elbow as Art wants to know who the guy in the white suit (Mabel’s manager Oscar) is. Mabel misses a charge and gets kneed out to the floor. Back in and IRS hits a good looking jumping clothesline, which Savage says might be the best one in the history of the company. That’s a Michael Cole style line as commentary is just all over the place tonight.
In the HUH spot of the match, IRS tries a slam and gets small packaged for what looked like three, though the referee stops counting at two because I don’t think IRS could kick out. We hit the chinlock with Art thinking Mabel is wealthy because he has gold in his mouth. Mabel fights up and hits a backdrop followed by a bad looking Boss Man Slam. What looks like a middle rope splash is broken up though and IRS grabs a rollup (and a rope, which makes Mabel look like he’s on fire) for the pin.
Rating: D. I’ve actually seen worse as they just let IRS do his basic yet well done stuff while Mabel just looked imposing. The ending was the only real way to have Mabel get pinned and it didn’t even feel forced. We’ll call this a pleasant surprise, despite it still being a pretty weak match.
Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji are ready to have Crush and Yokozuna win the Tag Team Titles.
King of the Ring Tournament First Round: Tatanka vs. Owen Hart
Oh you can imagine how Art is going to handle someone like Tatanka. With Art annoyingly asking how much Owen weighs (WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE???), Tatanka jumps him to start in a rather heelish move. The announcers basically make it clear that Owen is the favorite, more or less guaranteeing an Owen vs. Razor final (not that that’s a bad thing). Tatanka gets two off a suplex and Art asks how much he weighs.
Monsoon just starts talking over Donovan as Owen works on a headlock. Tatanka gets sent over the top but lands on his feet to drag Owen outside for a chop off. Owen posts him and we cut to the back where Razor and IRS are in a fight. That goes nowhere so Owen hits the running crotch attack to the back of the head that needs a better name than the running crotch attack to the back of the head.
A missile dropkick gives Owen two and we hit the chinlock. Monsoon is now flat out ignoring Art’s questions, which is probably the best possible option. Back up and Tatanka hits the war path, including a DDT for a close two. Another near fall off a powerslam annoys Tatanka and Owen sits down on a sunset flip for the pin to advance.
Rating: C. The match was perfectly fine but sweet goodness Art is getting old. There’s just nothing there from him and it takes a lot to really get on Monsoon’s nerves. As mentioned though, Owen winning is the most obvious result in the world for this show and there’s nothing wrong with that, especially when the first match was certainly watchable.
Shawn and Diesel liked hurting Bret and promise another Jackknife tonight. They’re not worried about any family member being in Bret’s corner either.
King of the Ring Tournament First Round: 1-2-3 Kid vs. Jeff Jarrett
Donovan thinks the Kid looks like a boxer. I don’t know many boxers with 1-2-3 on their singlet, or one with a singlet on in general for that matter. Jarrett starts fast and whips Kid hard into the corner and let’s keep hitting that NEW GENERATION catchphrase, which actually officially started tonight. So this is where the blame got started.
They trade clotheslines as Donovan thinks Kid has no chance here. Kid misses a Swanton but Jeff crotches himself (Donovan finds it HILARIOUS), setting up a high crossbody for two. The Bronco Buster misses and Jeff, who Art calls “a cutie” tries the Figure Four but gets small packaged for the pin.
Rating: B-. This is the kind of match where Jarrett excelled: fast paced, doing his basics and letting someone else do the hard work. Jarrett gets a bad reputation for not being the best character (he wasn’t) or not having the best matches (he didn’t), but he was going to give you a perfectly acceptable match, which is more important than a lot of things.
Post match Jeff snaps and piledrives Kid three times in a row.
The final four:
IRS
Razor Ramon
Owen Hart
1-2-3 Kid
New Generation ad, focusing on old vs. new, including Hogan listed as old of course.
Bret is ready for Diesel, no matter how devastating the Jackknife is. He won’t stand for injustice though and has a surprise to deal with Shawn.
WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Diesel
Diesel is challenging but his Intercontinental Title isn’t on the line. For the sake of clarity, I’ll only refer to Bret as champ. Diesel’s pyro from the ceiling only goes down a few feet instead of nearly halfway down to the ring as usual. Maybe they just didn’t have the formula down yet. Bret’s surprise is…..Jim Neidhart, who hasn’t been around in a few years. Savage makes the mistake of mentioning that Neidhart played football, prompting Art to NEED to know if Diesel was a football player too.
Diesel elbows him in the face to start and easily wins a slugout. That’s pretty out of character as Bret isn’t going to start slugging away until things are a lot more even. He’s smart enough to avoid a charge though and it’s time for the headbutt to the abdomen. A thumb to the eye cuts Bret off, which Art says isn’t kosher. Diesel misses another charge though and that’s your story for the match: Bret can’t match him for size and power but he’s smart enough to avoid Diesel’s reckless offense.
It’s already time to go after the knee, including the Figure Four. Diesel kicks him away so we hit the spinning toehold as the match flashes back to days when Donovan was just ancient and not….well Art Donovan. Bret wraps the leg around the post (Savage: “Go ahead and do it. I won’t look!”) but Shawn clotheslines him down, sending Neidhart into the chase.
Back in and Diesel grabs a bearhug but Bret bites his way to freedom, only to miss a dive to the floor. Donovan wants to know how these guys get out of bed in the morning (I’d assume they stand up) and Monsoon cuts him off with a level of rudeness you’ll never hear from him again. We hit the backbreaker with Bret being bent over the knee for a bit before hitting the running crotch attack to the back.
Another backbreaker gets another two as Diesel doesn’t exactly have his full offensive skill set yet. I mean, he only had about six or seven moves at his peak so you can imagine how bad things are here. Diesel grabs an over the shoulder backbreaker as Shawn tries to take off a turnbuckle pad. Bret slips out and starts trying a sleeper, only to be shoved into the referee.
NOW the buckle pad comes off but, of course, Diesel eats the steel instead. Bret slugs away (makes sense now, which is often the case with him) and gets two off a clothesline. That means the Five Moves of Doom but Shawn’s distraction breaks up the Sharpshooter. Bret tries to slug away a bit more and walks right into the big boot.
Diesel stands over him and gives the Jackknife sign but Bret rolls into a Boston crab (with the legs crossed but Bret’s legs are spread instead of intertwined). Of course it doesn’t last long as Diesel goes outside, allowing Shawn to hit Bret with the belt. There’s the Jackknife but Neidhart comes in for the DQ.
Rating: B. I actually like that finish as it keeps Diesel looking strong, meaning he wasn’t taking a pin while still Intercontinental Champion. Bret was carrying Diesel here and that’s exactly why they were put together. Diesel was VERY weak in the ring at this point but he could do a few things well, which Bret was more than capable of working with to make a good match. These two always had great chemistry together and that’s all you need a lot of the time.
It was all Diesel needed too, as this was the match that made Vince decide to push him to the moon, including making him champion in about five months. The problem was he didn’t have much beyond looking cool, a good finisher and a strong Royal Rumble performance. DOES ANY OF THIS SOUND FAMILIAR TO ANYONE TODAY???
Neidhart leaves for some reason (Dun dun dun?), allowing Diesel and Shawn to lay Bret out.
Lawler insults Donovan a bit and says he’s the true king and that’s the bottom line. He loves the idea of beating Piper so the kids in Toronto (who Piper had promised some of his winnings to) get NOTHING. Now that’s as heelish as you can get: “I want to beat you so poor sick kids are left out in the cold!” And people wonder why Lawler is considered one of the best of all time.
King of the Ring Tournament Semifinals: Razor Ramon vs. IRS
Razor jumps him in the aisle as Monsoon thankfully reminds us that these two fought at the Royal Rumble. IRS gets in a few shots but Razor takes him outside and sends him into the steps to really stagger him. A kick to the knee slows Razor down though and we hit the chinlock. Razor fights up without too much effort (because it was a kick to the knee and a chinlock), only to get caught with the running clothesline. Not that it matters as Razor hits a quick Razor’s Edge for the pin.
Rating: D. I wonder if Razor was injured here. There was barely any offense from Ramon until the very end and he spent a good chunk of a five minute match in a chinlock. Injury or not though, you have to put Ramon against Owen in the final, just for the sake of ANY star power/a threat to Owen in the last match.
Bret is looking for Neidhart.
There’s no update on the 1-2-3 Kid’s status after the attack.
King of the Ring Semifinals: Owen Hart vs. 1-2-3 Kid
This one is kind of famous. Kid is fine enough to get in the ring, making the previous backstage segment rather worthless. Owen baseball slides him through the ropes and hits an even harder suicide dive to start things off. A top rope splash is good for two on the Kid but he sends Owen chest first into the corner, setting up a twisting high crossbody for two of his own. Kid gets the same off a crucifix as we’re not even a minute into this yet.
Some spinning kicks drop Owen again but the enziguri gets him out of trouble. Kid gets two more off a northern lights suplex with Owen going to the ropes for the break. Owen bails so it’s a BIG flip dive over the top and Savage announces his retirement from this level of action. Back in and a German suplex gives Owen two, followed by a snap overhead belly to belly for the same. A victory roll gives Kid another near fall but his hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb, setting up the Sharpshooter to send Owen to the finals.
Rating: A-. That’s the best under five (four actually) minute match I’ve ever seen as they beat the heck out of each other and packed in about fifteen minutes of stuff into just over three and a half. Kid saves face because he came in injured so it’s even well booked on top of being entertaining. Check this out and see what these two could do when they were trying to show off.
Roddy Piper cuts a promo about taking his pants off, not remembering what town he’s in, loving Hershey bars, spaghetti with mosquito bites, various movies he’s been in, eating flies, not trusting people with no necks, “King Toady”, Don King, King the Dog and there being no such thing as a king. Piper is known for his crazy interviews and this was one of the weirdest I’ve ever seen from him. That includes the time he took over Alcatraz or the time he rambled about Hulk Hogan and hopped away for no apparent reason.
Tag Team Titles: Yokozuna/Crush vs. Headshrinkers
The Headshrinkers are defending of course. For once, Art asks the right question when he wants to know Yokozuna’s weight. He also brings up a good point: why are there eight people out here (Mr. Fuji/Jim Cornette/Lou Albano/Afa are all out as well) for a two on two match? The staredown (kind of a family reunion save for Crush) leads to a big brawl until the Headshrinkers start fighting each other for no apparent reason.
Yokozuna gets headbutted to the floor and we settle down to Yokozuna vs. Samu to start. A spinning kick to the face and a dropkick stagger Yokozuna and knock him outside again. It’s off to Crush vs. Fatu, who will have none of this faceplant nonsense. A piledriver plants Crush and a middle rope headbutt gets two. Fuji gets in a cheap shot from the floor and Crush grabs a piledriver of his own to really take over. It’s off to Yokozuna for the big fat leg but he misses a charge in the corner.
Samu comes in for a powerslam (I’ll let you guess to whom) and everything breaks down. A double superkick knocks Yokozuna outside for the third time (not a good sign less than eight minutes in) but he’s still able to crotch Samu on top. More managerial interference brings out Lex Luger (oh yeah he’s still around) to stare at Crush, allowing Samu to get in a superkick to retain.
Rating: D+. This was a decent power brawl but it was clearly just there to offer some extra flavor to go with the tournament. The Headshrinkers are one of my favorite teams from this era (or the 90s in general actually) and they were beating the heck out of Yokozuna here. That would be part of the huge downfall for Yokozuna, who went from beating Hogan the previous year to this in twelve months. It’s the problem with being a monster and someone whose gut probably has its own zip code.
Crush beats on Luger until the Headshrinkers make the save.
Owen promises to win and wishes his dad a Happy Father’s Day.
King of the Ring: Razor Ramon vs. Owen Hart
Razor punches him down and stares at him because they’re filling time despite the match not likely having much of it to work with in the first place. They do an awkward slam spot and Owen slaps him in the face to earn himself a catapult into the corner. A slow motion bridge into a backslide gives Razor two and Art changes his pick to Owen. The spinwheel kick drops Razor, who Art cheers for three seconds after changing his pick.
We hit an abdominal stretch to stay on the ribs but Razor hiptosses out and grabs a chokeslam for two. The belly to back superplex looks to set up the Edge but Razor gets backdropped to the floor. Here’s Neidhart to check on Razor and then deck him, setting up Owen’s top rope elbow for the pin and the crown.
Rating: C-. Obvious ending and unnecessary interference aside, this was the only way they could have done. Owen was still hot from beating Bret at Wrestlemania and needed a major win without changing the Intercontinental Title from one heel to another. Giving him the crown was as good of an option as they had and it made him look like a real threat in his big title shot against Bret.
Owen and Neidhart beat Razor down with a Hart Attack and CANADIAN (and American) stomping. Bret doesn’t save for no apparent reason.
We go to Bret in the back and he has no comment. Is there ANY reason why he didn’t come out here? I guess he’s supposed to be shocked but that doesn’t quite endear him to Razor. Not that he needed to do so but it would have made sense given how much he wanted to go after Neidhart.
Donovan asks Monsoon and Savage if they acted like that when they wrestled. Monsoon COMPLETELY ignores him and asks Randy about Neidhart’s sanity.
It’s already coronation time with Neidhart standing at Owen’s side. Owen brags and dubs himself the King of Harts, an awesome nickname.
Long recap of Piper vs. Lawler, which is mostly just them doing the exact insults you would expect from both of them. Like I mentioned, there’s also a children’s hospital shoehorned in here for the sake of some emotion.
Roddy Piper vs. Jerry Lawler
Lawler being a king confuses Donovan even more. Before Piper comes out, Lawler does his usual crowd insults and again promises to keep all the winnings. As is his custom for a big match, Piper is played to the ring by a pipe and drum corps. In the first pay per view main event ever between two wrestles over forty years old, Monsoon has the gorilla testicles to call this a NEW GENERATION match.
Piper even comes out with the imitator from Raw, who was rather insulting to him during the King’s Court. Apparently Piper has forgiven him….and I guess we’re supposed to be impressed. Uh, right. The kid (who is about seventeen at the youngest) does some Piper jokes (to be fair he does a great impression) and we’re FINALLY ready to go. Piper hammers away to start and Monsoon dubs it vintage. In the NEW Generation.
The kilt is thrown over Lawler’s head and Piper bites in the corner as I don’t expect much in the way of wrestling here. A big right hand sends Lawler bailing to the floor and the kid gets in a poke to the eye. Back in and Piper slugs away before telling Lawler to bring it. Piper starts going to the hamstring (psychology you see) and an atomic drop sends Lawler outside again.
Lawler’s hand is sent into the post as there’s nothing resembling wrestling anywhere in this match. The kid gets dragged inside and instead of BEATING LAWLER UP, Piper shoves the kid back to the floor. A bunch of punches set up….even more punches and we hit the sleeper on Piper. Monsoon says that’s a patented hold, even though I don’t think I ever remember seeing Lawler using one.
The piledriver (to NO reaction, just like most of this match) gets two (no reaction again) as Savage is trying everything he can to make this interesting. Piper spits at him and slugs back, followed by a pair of bulldogs. The ref gets bumped (you knew this wasn’t ending clean) and it’s a foreign object to knock Piper out. Lawler gets two with the kid making the save, allowing Piper to grab a belly to back suplex for the pin.
Rating: OG. For Old Generation. This was straight out of the nightmares of Memphis in front of a bored crowd who wanted to go home after a not great night. I get the idea here but this needed to go on about second, as there was no way these dinosaurs were going to be able to produce anything worthwhile. It just wasn’t a story that people were going to care about and there was no way around that. Terrible main event, and perhaps the worst in company history.
Piper celebrates with the kid…..and we go to Shawn telling Diesel that he’ll get the title soon enough to end the show. I guess the main event was so bad that it screwed up the show format. You know, even worse than it already did.
Overall Rating: D+. Art Donovan issues and main event aside, there’s enough good stuff going on here to help carry it over the line. The problem here is the lack of interest from the backstage forces, mainly due to trying to keep Vince out of jail and all that good stuff. There’s enough good wrestling to keep the show from flatlining but you’re much better off watching those individual matches rather than the full two hour and forty five minutes, which crawl by on more than one occasion.
The interesting thing here is how fast the show got through its ten matches though. Outside of Bret vs. Diesel, nothing breaks thirteen minutes with none of the tournament matches even getting nine minutes. To be fair though, it’s not like there was a reason to stretch out a predictable tournament and the World Title match more than makes up for it. Not as bad as remembered, but still not great or even good for the most part.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Countdown to the Crowning Date: June 13, 1994 Location: Erie Civic Center, Eric, Pennsylvania Attendance: 3,500 Commentators: Stan Lane, Ted DiBiase
This is a special that may or may not have been an episode of Monday Night Raw (it’s not listed on the Network). Vince announced it as an episode of the show last week but it’s basically just a big commercial for Sunday’s pay per view with a single match. In other words, expect a lot of “video on this” here. Let’s get to it.
Vince and Randy are in a studio as they hype the tournament and introduce the match.
Tag Team Titles: Quebecers vs. Headshrinkers
The Samoans are defending. Samu doesn’t waste any time and drops an early headbutt to drop Pierre. One heck of a crossbody puts Pierre down so it’s off to Jacques for that attempt at a bulldog, earning himself a superkick. Back from a break with the Quebecers having taken over and Jacques grabbing a reverse chinlock.
For some reason he tries to drop down onto Fatu’s back and earns himself a low blow. I guess he’s not an Arn Anderson fan. It’s back to Pierre to try the Cannonball but Fatu moves away and hits a double dropkick (close enough) for the hot tag to Samu. The double Stroke and the top rope splash are enough to retain the titles.
Rating: D+. I’ve always liked the Headshrinkers so watching them beat up a couple of goofs who happen to have Johnny Polo with them is a fun enough sit. This was just a warmup before the Headshrinkers have their real defense against Crush and Yokozuna in a match I can barely remember.
Savage picks the Headshrinkers to retain.
Crush and Yokozuna disagree.
CALL THE HOTLINE!
Commercial for the New Generation with Savage saying he’s the bridge between the two generations. Until December when he goes to WCW and the bridge is out.
Recap of the Hall of Fame Class of 1994 induction ceremony, including Arnold Skaaland, Bobo Brazil, Buddy Rogers, Chief Jay Strongbow, Freddie Blassie, Gorilla Monsoon and James Dudley.
Here’s the King’s Court from May 30 with Bret Hart as the guest, but only after Lawler makes some jokes at the Hart Family’s expense. Lawler brings up Bret’s title defense against Diesel at King of the Ring so here are Shawn and Diesel to have Lawler’s back. Bret doesn’t back down and says he’s ready for whatever Diesel has. In a voice that clearly isn’t ready for this kind of spot, Diesel promises Bret the VIP treatment: Very Intense Pain. The beatdown is quickly on with a Jackknife leaving Bret laying.
Bret promises to have a family member in his corner at the pay per view.
LONG recap of how all eight entrants qualified for the tournament. This goes on so long that it needs a commercial in the middle. They really could have cut this whole show down to half an hour and been fine.
In the big centerpiece of the show, Savage makes his King of the Ring picks. Here they are, in all their glory, starting with the original bracket:
Mabel
IRS
Razor Ramon
Bam Bam Bigelow
Jeff Jarrett
1-2-3 Kid
Owen Hart
Tatanka
IRS
Bam Bam Bigelow
Jeff Jarrett
Tatanka
Bam Bam Bigelow
Jeff Jarrett
Bam Bam Bigelow
In other words, he got all but one pick wrong.
Video on Lawler vs. Piper.
Here’s the King’s Court from last week. Lawler’s guest is from Scotland and wears a Hot Rod t-shirt but just happens to be about seventeen years old and weighs 130lbs with a brick in each pocket. The guy does a good impression but it gets old in a hurry as you can get the joke after about two seconds. After a few gay jokes, the guy gets on his hands and knees to kiss Lawler’s feet in an attempt to get out of the match. He crawls out of the ring to finally end this.
Piper is dedicating this match to the Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto, which gets a quick plug. Nothing wrong with that.
And now, just to continue wasting time on the show, we go to a separate arena where Jack Tunney brings out all eight participants to say a very few words and then…..just stand there as the show ends.
Overall Rating: D-. Total waste of a show here in something that would have aired on the Network today. It didn’t help that the show wound up being one of the least interesting shows the company ever put on with the tournament really not working. I’m not looking forward to the pay per view and this really didn’t help things along.
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Monday Night Raw Date: June 6, 1994 Location: Struthers Fieldhouse, Youngstown, Ohio Attendance: 1,500 Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage
We’re coming up on King of the Ring 1994 and…..I need a minute just thinking about something like that. This is a really bad time for the company as Vince is dealing with the steroids trial so don’t expect a lot of good stuff on here. Well, save for the debut of one of the biggest stars of all time. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Tatanka vs. Crush
Lumberjack match in a rematch from last week’s draw. IRS and Razor Ramon getting in a fight before all of the lumberjacks are even at ringside. A bunch of lumberjacks get in the ring and tease a brawl as Crush gets in a few shots on Tatanka to start. Things settle down with Tatanka coming back with chops abut a toss sends him outside for a lumberjack beating.
Back in and we hit the chinlock but Crush misses a kneedrop. That means another far too early comeback before we take a break. Back with Tatanka working on an armbar, only to get pulled down into a weak cross armbreaker. McMahon mentions Crush possibly winning the Tag Team Titles as well as the King of the Ring in the same night if he wins here but shuts up when Tatanka chops him down.
It’s back to the armbreaker as this is already going WAY longer than it needed to. Savage: “My temperature is at about 114!” Vince: “That’s normal for you.” Savage: “Thank you.” Crush stays on the mat with a bodyscissors as the fans and lumberjacks are starting to get restless.
We take a second break (Why?) and come back with Crush getting tied up in the ropes but still managing an atomic drop. Crush grabs a front facelock for a good while before sending Tatanka outside, triggering the lumberjack brawl. Now it’s Crush being send outside for a beating of his own, including Lex Luger coming out to blast Crush with the forearm. Crush is done and Tatanka gets the very lame pin to advance at just shy of TWENTY FIVE MINUTES (counting commercials).
Rating: D-. You’ll often hear about how matches are too short today but this is a good reason why that’s not always the worst issue in the world. Just because you can give a match more time doesn’t mean it’s a good thing, especially if so much of the mat is just one guy putting on a hold for two to three minutes at a time. Holds can be used to advance a match but that’s not what was happening here.
King of the Ring Control Center with the full bracket being revealed:
IRS
Mabel
Razor Ramon
Bam Bam Bigelow
Jeff Jarrett
1-2-3 Kid
Owen Hart
Tatanka
We look back at Diesel attacking Bret Hart in the King’s Court with a little help from Shawn Michaels last week.
Bret thinks that proves Diesel isn’t jam up enough to fight on his own. A member of Bret’s family will be in his corner for the title match.
Roddy Piper sends in a video offering Bret his help. He’s ready to take care of Jerry Lawler too and talks about growing up in a rough neighborhood to prove it.
CALL THE HOTLINE! For some reason this is introduced with insults to the Flintstones movie. Rather odd and rather dumb as I always liked that movie.
Bam Bam Bigelow vs. John Paul
Bigelow misses an early splash but shrugs off an armbar. That means it’s time to make fun of the Flintstones for some reason with Vince calling Luna the Wilma Flintstone of the WWF. Paul gets in a few kicks and a sunset flip for two. Bigelow shrugs it off and hits a spinning splash for the quick pin.
House show ads.
Earlier today, some wrestlers beat some members of the Marines/Navy/Coast Guard in a tug of war to celebrate D-Day.
Here’s the King’s Court with Lawler running his mouth about Piper. His guest is from Scotland and wears a Hot Rod t-shirt but just happens to be about seventeen years old and weighs 130lbs with a brick in each pocket. The guy does a good impression but it gets old in a hurry as you can get the joke after about two seconds. After a few gay jokes, the guy gets on his hands and knees to kiss Lawler’s feet in an attempt to get out of the match. He crawls out of the ring to finally end this.
Razor Ramon vs. Keith Davis
Razor throws him around to start and catches a crossbody in the fall away slam. We hit the abdominal stretch for a good while until an elbow to the jaw makes things even worse. The belly to back superplex sets up the Razor’s Edge to complete the squash.
Rating: D. Total squash with Razor mauling the jobber in the exact fashion you would expect. Now that being said, this would have been a very different match later on as Davis would actually wind up to being a fairly decent worker in his own right. You might have heard of him under his real name: Jeff Hardy.
Paul Bearer is looking for Undertaker.
Ted DiBiase promises to produce the Undertaker on Superstars.
Overall Rating: D. That opener just killed everything and even seeing a seventeen year old Jeff Hardy out there selling as well as someone his age could do couldn’t save it. The show wasn’t any good and it set up a bad pay per view but with Vince trying to stay out of prison, you really can’t expect anything else.
There’s no Raw next week but there was a special called Countdown to the Crowning, because of course there is.
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Monday Night Raw – December 27, 1993: Maybe Undertaker Is Bad At His Job
Monday Night Raw Date: December 27, 1993
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jacques, Pierre
It’s the final show of the year and that means….well nothing really as one of the major matches announced for this week is Marty Jannetty vs. Johnny Polo. I have no idea why that’s supposed to make me want to stick around and watch the show but no one ever accused 1993 of making sense. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Yokozuna/Ludvig Borga vs. Lex Luger/Tatanka in what should have been a pretty hot house show feud. I don’t think it ever happened on TV, even though it should have been a layup.
The announcers preview the show and it’s as weird as it would seem to be.
Lex Luger vs. Barry Horowitz
Luger sends him into the ropes as the announcers speak a lot of French for the running joke of the show. I mean, it’s not a funny joke but it is in fact a running joke. Barry pokes him in the eye to get out of some arm work as we hear about Bret and Owen Hart getting a Tag Team Title shot at the Royal Rumble. Horowitz actually gets in some offense as the Quebecers switch over to Spanish. Lex shrugs it off and grabs a powerslam before finishing with a superplex.
Rating: D+. Better than I was expecting here with Barry getting in a good amount of offense. The superplex was a good option for a finisher instead of the Rack, which I believe Borga was using at this point. It’s always cool to see a simple move used as a finisher and it’s not like it’s hard to do. Just let the move get some pins and it’s instantly a finisher. Why is that so complicated?
We look back at Johnny Polo interfering in a match between the 1-2-3 Kid and Marty Jannetty, causing a double countout.
Polo brags about beating both the Kid and Jannetty at the same time so tonight it’ll be easy to beat Jannetty on his own.
Marty Jannetty vs. Johnny Polo
Polo actually gets a takedown to start (Jacques: “Isn’t that two points? Call the Steiners!”) and scores with an armdrag for good measure. Marty comes back with an atomic drop for the funny selling and it’s off to the arm. A missed charge sends Marty outside in a heap though and Johnny does a fairly scary scream into the camera. Back in and they collide as this is already going longer than I was expecting. Can you imagine Ricky Steamboat vs. Mr. Fuji going this long? Then again that was a Kung Fu Challenge and not a match so it’s not the fairest comparison.
Marty’s jumping back elbow sets up a high crossbody for two. Polo gets dropkicked outside so Pierre goes to check on him, earning himself a baseball slide. A second distraction fails and Marty gets in a superkick but opts to dive onto Pierre like a villain would do. Back in and Marty grabs a sunset flip but Pierre holds Polo’s hands to give him the pin.
Rating: D+. That’s quite the long match but I always like Polo as he was just having a blast making fun of everyone. It’s always cool to have a manager who can wrestle a match if the need arises as it can add a lot of options to the stories. Not a terrible match here but WAY longer than it needed to be.
Pierre is ejected….from commentary. Can a referee do that? Isn’t that taking your job a bit far? Especially when it’s not even in a match.
Yokozuna dreams about being Santa Claus and wakes up, realizing it was only a nightmare.
Doink the Clown vs. Spike Gray
It’s clearly no longer Matt Borne playing the character as he’s taller and skinnier than he was a few weeks back. Before the match, Dink gives Doink some gum. Spike gets some as well but it’s something like a mini-mousetrap. Dink kicks him in the shin, which isn’t a DQ because the referee is probably too busy ejecting the popcorn vendor from section 138 because he’s a power mad nutjob. Dink punches Gray in the face, setting up a German suplex for the pin. How in the world are these two supposed to be faces? I mean, clowns are evil by definition and now they cheat? Think this stuff through Vince.
The Royal Rumble Report fills up time. The only new stuff here is the Hart Brothers saying they’ll win the Tag Team Titles.
Crush vs. Mike Moraldo
Crush knocks him down without much effort to start as the announcers talk about the Quebecers vs. the Hart Brothers. Talk about a match that would really set the company on fire down the road. The head vice ends Moraldo without too much effort.
Undertaker is still making that casket. I had no idea it took that much effort to put one of those things together. Or maybe Undertaker is just really bad at his job and should take up something else. Like motorcycle maintenance.
Bret tells us to not drink and drive.
We look at Alundra Blayze defeating Heidilee (yes it’s one word) Morgan for the Women’s Title. This looked like every bad women’s match you would have seen in this era.
Kwang is coming. Hopefully he leaves even faster.
Razor Ramon vs. Derek Domino
Non-title and non-gold chains for Ramon. Razor start with the driving shoulders but Derek makes the mistake of slapping him in the face. Domino (whose singlet is half down for some reason) gets sat on the top rope for a super fall away slam. Razor slaps him in the back of the head a few times and grabs the abdominal stretch. That goes nowhere so it’s the super belly to back into the Razor’s Edge for the pin.
Rating: D. Yeah fine as Razor continues to be one of the best midcard acts of all time. The belly to back superplex is something that doesn’t get the credit it deserves as Razor just tosses people around with the thing. You can hear all the talk about Shawn Michaels and the Intercontinental Title and that’s only going to lead to good things all around.
Overall Rating: D+. It wasn’t the kindest month to Raw but since the show debuted less than a year ago, it’s not like they have a lot to compare it to. The longer matches were a bit better this week though and there was no Men on a Mission or Jeff Jarrett so we’ll call this a slight improvement over last week.
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