Royal Rumble 2016
Date: January 24, 2016
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 15,170
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

Now this one actually has my interest for a change. A year ago, WWE decided that the right idea was to have WWE World Champion Roman Reigns fight everyone in a single match for the title. This is completely different as now he fights everyone for the US Title. Anyway, the whole thing is about the main event, as it should be, so let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Mark Henry/Jack Swagger vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Darren Young/Damien Sandow vs. Ascension

One fall to a finish and the winners go to the Rumble. I can’t help but call JBL cute for suggesting that any of these four have a chance to win the Rumble. The fans want Sandow and just EXPLODE when he actually gets the tag. The Wind-Up Elbow gets two on Swagger before it’s off to Young so the crowd can die all over again. Konnor tags himself in and it’s a big eight way standoff as we take a break.

Back with Swagger powerslamming Konnor as we hear about the fans wanting some Sandow. D-Von gets crotched against the post so the fans change up to wanting Sexual Chocolate. Henry obliges with a hip swivel, which will probably get him fined for not focusing enough or some jazz like that. A D-VON chant gets him back to his feet because we need a long chinlock in a match that doesn’t break eight minutes and has eight participants. Bubba comes in off the hot tag and cleans house with Young taking Wazzup. 3D gets two on Viktor but Henry steals the pin at 7:58.

Rating: D. This wasn’t great but it did everything it needed to do. At the end of the day, other than MAYBE the Dudleyz, Swagger and Henry were the only pairing that made sense here. Just let us have two former World Champions in there to fill in a few spots. It’s not like anyone wanted to see Young or Ascension (a sign in the crowd called them today’s joke and I can’t say I disagree) in there so go with what makes sense.

Vince and Stephanie McMahon show up in a limo (So they’re good at this point. Got it.) and talk about how awesome tonight is going to be and how fair it is to Reigns. Vince loves the idea, almost as much as he loves himself.

The opening video recaps the only thing that matters here with the tagline of One vs. All. I liked that last year and I still do.

Intercontinental Title: Kevin Owens vs. Dean Ambrose

Ambrose is defending and this is last man standing. They go right after each other to start with Dean hammering away and biting Owens’ head before scoring with the bulldog out of the corner. What looks like a tablet to the head gives Owens a breather and a superkick sets up the Cannonball through the barricade. A few chair shots keep Dean in trouble and Owens has a seat as the champ gets up.

Two chairs are set up in the middle of the ring but, just like putting a chair in the corner, whoever sets them up goes through them, meaning Ambrose backdrops him through the chairs. A suicide dive is countered into a ram into the apron followed by a whip into the steps for about a seven. With Ambrose getting up again, Owens loads up two tables on top of each other but the superplex is blocked, meaning we’ll get back to the big crash later.

Dirty Deeds gets eight on Owens and another one onto a chair sends Owens rolling to the floor to land on his feet at nine. Eh that’s kind of clever. The fans want Owens to fight (multiple times even) but Dean elbows him through a table. That’s still not enough so Dean says he hates Owens. Kevin: “I hate you too!” Back in and Owens’ swinging fisherman’s superplex sends Dean through another table to give Kevin a nine count. Owens lays Dean on a set of chairs but the champ pops up and shoves him through the double tables to retain at 20:50.

Rating: B+. It’s no masterpiece but this is the kind of show that only needs one great match to be a classic, making this a bonus. The big spot at the end was a good choice and I kind of like that over a finisher onto something made of metal. It’s a good match and a good way to open things up since the rest of the card is just a way to get to the main event.

We recap heel New Day (what a weird concept, though they’re rapidly turning face here) vs. the Usos, which has involved Chris Jericho destroying Francesca to freak Woods out.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Usos

New Day is defending (of course) and there’s no Woods. Kofi asks for a moment of silence for Francesca but here’s Woods with a new trombone named Francesca II. See, he’s in mourning but a man has, ahem, needs. This isn’t it for them tonight though as New Day wants the World Title so 2016 can be all gold everything. Kofi: “GOLDEN UNICORNS!” Woods: “Stay golden pony boy.”

The twins take over to start and the fans aren’t all that thrilled. A jawbreaker puts Jimmy down and it’s off to Big E. for some hip swiveling, only to have Jey dropkick him into the barricade. Woods proves his worth to the team by dropping Jey to take over again. Sometimes it’s a bit harder to get rid of those old heel tendencies you see. The fans demand a Francesca performance but Woods plays when he wants to, which isn’t while Kofi has Jey in a chinlock.

The Warrior Splash gives Big E. two as JBL talks about NFL coin flips. A spinning enziguri drops Kofi and there’s the hot tag to Jimmy so house can be cleaned. Normally the fans are a bit more enthusiastic about that but New Day is just WAY too popular here for fans to get behind the Usos.

Everything breaks down and a Whisper in the Wind gets two on Big E. A belly to belly gets the same on Jey but the spear through the ropes is blocked by a raised knee. Why not just step to the side? The second attempt works a bit better but it’s too early for the Midnight Hour. Jey superkicks Kofi into the Superfly Splash for two as a foot goes on the rope. Kofi eats another superkick but a blind tag brings in Big E. for the Big Ending to retain at 10:52.

Rating: B-. This took some time to get rolling but once everything broke down, it was as good as you would expect from these teams. New Day is clearly the future of the division despite being champs for nearly five months at this point. Catching a top rope splash out of the air is really impressive as the champs continue to show that they have the ring work to back up their charisma.

We look back at Brock Lesnar beating up the League of Nations, followed by Reigns spearing Brock. The Wyatts then beat Reigns and Brock up to make themselves a threat for later tonight.

The Wyatts say they’ll win the title for Bray tonight. Singing ensues.

US Title: Kalisto vs. Alberto Del Rio

Kalisto is challenging and they’ve been trading the title for a few weeks now. Kalisto starts fast with the strikes to send him outside for a suicide dive. Now you might think this is competitive, but JBL is right there to hammer in the ideas that David NEVER beats Goliath and that Kalisto is going to get destroyed. You know, in case you’re dumb enough to not get the idea here.

Back in and Del Rio kicks him down, followed by a top rope ax handle for two. That means JBL gets to talk about how fun it is to beat up luchadors. Two knees to the ribs have Kalisto in more trouble and it’s time to go after the mask. There’s some good heel psychology in there about someone with Del Rio knowing the tradition of the mask and going after it anyway but the announcers gloss over it.

Del Rio’s low superkick gets two and Kalisto gets the same off a springboard tornado DDT. Kalisto goes up top but gets caught in a reverse superplex. They HORRIBLY botch a Code Red (the sunset bomb) so Kalisto goes straight to the Salida Del Sol for two. Del Rio unhooks a turnbuckle pad and of course he goes into it, setting up another Salida Del Sol for the pin and the title at 11:32.

Rating: C+. Not bad here but the commentary was driving me crazy here. JBL kept talking about how there was NO WAY the smaller guy could win and that’s exactly what we saw happening. There’s a difference between setting up an idea and just hammering it into the ground, which is what we had here. The match itself was fine but I do wonder how they screwed up Kalisto. He might not have been a future World Champion but he’s someone that could have been a fixture in the midcard. Instead, he’s just a guy on the roster because we needed to feed him to Rusev down the line. You know, to feed him to Reigns.

Pre-show recap.

Paul Heyman comes up to Stephanie and says they can renegotiate Lesnar’s contract after he wins the Rumble. Stephanie is cool with that as long as Reigns is taken to Suplex City. Why she hates Reigns isn’t clear but I’d assume it’s because she just feels like it at the moment.

Recap of Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch. They were best friends but Charlotte won the title and realized she didn’t need Becky anymore. Becky talked Ric Flair into accepting the title shot for his daughter and we’re ready to roll.

Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch

Charlotte is defending and has her dad with her. Feeling out process to start with Charlotte shouldering her down. Becky goes right for the arm and the fans are entirely behind her. The announcers explain the Figure Eight as Charlotte grabs an armbar of her own. Back up and a kick to the chest puts Charlotte on the floor where Ric gets in Becky’s way. A clothesline drops the champ again so Flair kisses Becky for your weekly case of sexual assault (edited off the Network).

Charlotte takes over and grabs a cravate as the fans are WAY behind Becky here. Like moreso than usual. Thankfully Charlotte mocks the chants before doing the headscissor faceplants followed by the Figure Four necklock. Becky gets out and starts firing off dropkicks to take over but a neckbreaker puts Charlotte right back in control.

The Bexploder gets two and Charlotte’s spear gets the same. You can hear Flair freaking out as only he can and it wouldn’t be the same without that screaming. Becky gets a cross armbreaker out of the corner and the fans get right back into this, only to have a powerbomb break the hold to give Charlotte two. The Disarm-Her goes on but Flair throws his jacket at Becky for the distraction, allowing Charlotte to get another spear to retain at 11:34.

Rating: B. Another good match between the two of them but I’m really starting to roll my eyes at Flair’s interference. We get the concept already and there’s no need to keep doing it over and over. At some point Charlotte needs to drop him and once that happens, she’s going to go through the roof, which would turn out to be in a bigger way than anyone could have expected.

Charlotte beats on Becky post match but here’s Sasha Banks for the save and Bank Statement on the champ. Cole: “Sasha Banks making a statement with the Bank Statement!” I bet he spent two weeks coming up with that one.

Some fans went to the Performance Center under the ruse of being part of a focus group. The wound up getting to meet a full tour of the facility and met most of the NXT roster. Note to self: sign up for focus groups.

Rumble By the Numbers video, which is still one of my favorite annual traditions. This is tied in with the stats that Reigns, who is entering at #1, has to overcome to retain the title.

WWE World Title: Royal Rumble

Reigns is defending and comes in at #1, making the tagline One vs. All. We have 90 second intervals here and that’s rarely a good thing. I had forgotten about Reigns’ through the crowd entrance and how unfitting it was. Can you imagine him trying to pull that today without getting pummeled? Anyway Reigns is in at #2 and Rusev is in at #2, which is smart as they had an awesome final section to a battle royal on Smackdown back in 2015. They start slugging it out and even JBL knows they can’t keep up this pace. Rusev gets in a spinwheel kick but can’t throw him out. Well not over the top at least as he sends Roman through the ropes instead. The spear however is enough to put Rusev out as the clock begins.

And then, in perhaps the dumbest production decision I’ve ever seen in WWE, the camera stays on Reigns’ face as AJ STYLES makes his debut at #3. Like literally, the camera just locks in on Reigns as the crowd freaks out. They even posted a different cut of this on the WWE YouTube page because it was such a stupid visual. Thanks to the entrance taking forever, we only have time for AJ to not be able to hit the Styles Clash and a Samoan drop planting AJ.

Tyler Breeze is in at #4 and the fans are COMPLETELY behind AJ, which isn’t all that surprising. Breeze scores with a few right hands before a pretty unnecessary double team gets rid of him. Curtis Axel (with the WAY too over Social Outcasts) is in at #5 to send AJ into the buckle, earning himself some forearms to the face. Reigns gets back up and the Outcasts are beaten down until AJ clotheslines Axel out (JBL: “The chains are back on.”). Chris Jericho is in at #6 and we’ve got a snappy triple threat going here.

AJ gets knocked down and Reigns is sent into the post, leaving Styles to have to fight out of the Walls. Kane is in at #7 and Cole is WAY too fast to call him the greatest performer in the Rumble’s history. Wouldn’t it have helped if he had actually WON THE THING a time or two Cole? Styles goes right after the monster but gets kicked down and all four head to a corner until Goldust is in at #8. Not a lot happens here other than the fans chanting for AJ even more because he debuted as a star, which only a handful of people get to do. Ryback is in at #9 and gets to clean house without eliminating anyone.

AJ clotheslines Reigns in the corner to another big pop and it’s Kofi Kingston in at #10 (with New Day staying at ringside) so we can just start the clock for the big save. At the moment we have Reigns, Styles, Jericho, Kane, Goldust, Ryback and Kingston. AJ comes off the top to hit Jericho and it’s Titus O’Neil in at #11. Styles and Jericho take backbreakers and Goldust is tossed. Kofi almost gets rid of Reigns and is somehow even more popular than he’s been all night.

R-Truth is in at #12 and of course he pulls out a ladder and climbs up to retrieve….nothing. I forgot how much I enjoyed Truth’s confused gimmick. Kane pulls him down and tosses him out before throwing the ladder out as a bonus. A clothesline puts Kofi over the top and right onto Big E.’s shoulders for the big save. Eh not as good as some I’ve seen but you can’t have a classic every year. Luke Harper is in at #13 and here are Vince and the League of Nations to pull Roman to the floor (under the ropes of course). The champ is sent into the steps and kicked in the face by multiple members of the team.

This goes on so long that Stardust comes in at #14. Rusev splashes Reigns through the table as we have NO IDEA what is going on in the ring during all this. While we were gone, Jericho eliminated Kingston which was of course ignored by the announcers. Now for the stupid part: Vince and the Nation JUST LEAVES.

Like, they don’t throw him inside and then back out. They don’t pay someone off to get rid of Reigns. They don’t do anything but leave while Reigns is taken out on a stretcher. You would think Vince would have learned his lesson from Steve Austin in 1999 but he’s a heel so this is just really stupid instead of head caving in stupid. Big Show comes in at #15 and eliminates Titus and Ryback, giving us a lineup of Reigns (being taken out), Styles, Jericho, Kane, Harper, Stardust and Show. Reigns is now walking in front of the stretcher, making this even less of a good idea.

Styles escapes a chokeslam and it’s Neville in at #16. The rapid fire kicks stagger some people as Reigns is shown WALKING TO THE BACK UNDER HIS OWN POWER. What a hero he certainly is. Braun Strowman is in at #17 and hopefully some people are about to be tossed. Strowman casually eliminates Kane and has the showdown with Big Show. The standing choke (what a stupid move) knocks Show out and Strowman eliminates him a few seconds later.

A limping Kevin Owens is in at #18 and that’s good for one heck of a pop. Styles is there to meet him and you know the fans are into that. Neville throws AJ to the apron and Kevin adds a superkick to get rid of Styles, making himself a full on heel once again. Dean Ambrose is in at #19 and Owens is waiting on him to keep up the brawl from earlier. Since there’s nothing like a Royal Rumble for the World Title going on, let’s look at the Reigns beatdown from earlier.

Sami Zayn is in at #20 for a main roster cameo and of course he goes after Owens in a slugout. Kevin is gone in a hurry and we’ve got Reigns (not in the ring), Harper, Stardust, Jericho, Zayn, Ambrose, Neville and Strowman. Erick Rowan joins the field at #21 as the Wyatts are strong in this one. Harper and Rowan get together to get rid of Stardust and Neville as Strowman chokes Jericho out.

Mark Henry is in at #22 and is eliminated by the Wyatts in less than a minute. Strowman tosses Sami leaving Ambrose and Jericho to fight the monsters. Cole: “I don’t see any help coming anytime soon.” The clock is ticking down as he says this so you know it’s going to be someone big. As you might expect, Brock Lesnar is in at #23 and the place just goes NUTS.

It’s time for some suplexes with Harper and Rowan flying across the ring (not eliminated). It takes three clotheslines to drop Strowman and there goes Rowan. Harper takes a German suplex but Brock can’t suplex Strowman. Now THAT is a rub. Braun goes shoulder first into the post and another clothesline puts him down. Jack Swagger is in at #24 and lasts about fifteen seconds before Lesnar gets rid of him. More suplexes abound as Lesnar is rapidly running out of things to do.

The Miz is in at #25, giving us Reigns (you know the drill by now), Jericho, Harper, Strowman, Ambrose, Lesnar and Miz, who walks around for a bit before going in to face Brock. He actually gets on commentary and threatens to turn Disney World into Mizney World. Harper takes another German suplex and Strowman gets shouldered in the corner. That’s enough to get rid of Harper and Alberto Del Rio is in at #26. Alberto and Dean double team Lesnar in the corner and are promptly launched across the ring. Some clotheslines get rid of Strowman and the fans are VERY pleased.

Bray Wyatt gets lucky #27 and the other three Wyatts all get back in to pummel Brock. Brock tosses the three eliminated guys out again and suplexes Bray but Harper saves the F5 with a kick to the chest (or face if you’re Cole). Unlike Vince and the League (who did almost the same thing earlier), Bray is smart enough to ELIMINATE BROCK, who responds by……calmly walking away instead of, you know, breaking people in half and making a throw rug out of their entrails.

Dolph Ziggler is in at #28 and it’s FINALLY time for Miz to get in. A Skull Crushing Finale plants Dolph but Miz can’t put him out. Sheamus is in at #29 but Reigns jumps him in the aisle, over twenty four minutes after he left and over HALF AN HOUR after the beatdown started. Naturally he’s booed out of the building but still manages to get rid of Del Rio. I get that they’re trying to repeat the 1999 Royal Rumble and ignoring the fact that they’re copying the worst Rumble of all time, but there’s a big stretch between the biggest star of all time and Roman Reigns.

Anyway Roman fights Bray for a bit and it’s HHH in at #30 for one of the most obvious “swerves” in recent history. The final group is Reigns, Jericho, Ambrose, Wyatt, Ziggler, Sheamus and HHH, who gets a HUGE pop because the fans have a way out of Reigns winning the whole thing. Why the announcers have HHH stats despite him being A COMPLETE SURPRISE isn’t clear but we’ll chalk it up to the regular way of making it clear that this is entirely staged.

HHH and Reigns do the big staredown and the top heel is suddenly the big hero because that’s how little people care about Reigns. Ziggler charges into a Pedigree like a goof and Wyatt takes a spear so Reigns can have equal power. The facebuster looks to set up a Pedigree on Reigns but Sheamus and Ambrose throw them both to the apron. Jericho bulldogs Bray down and hits a Lionsault but takes a Zig Zag. A superkick can’t knock HHH off the apron and he gets back in to eliminate Ziggler a few seconds later.

Bray and HHH have a very interesting staredown which isn’t likely to go anywhere. Sheamus saves HHH from Sister Abigail and Bray is tossed. Dean and Sheamus fight for a bit until Jericho dives on Ambrose. A Codebreaker puts HHH down but Dean eliminates Jericho to get us down to four. Dean eats a Brogue Kick but sidesteps a charge to get rid of Sheamus, followed by HHH eliminating Reigns to the pop of the night.

So we’re down to Ambrose vs. HHH and Reigns stays on the floor instead out helping his buddy due to a combination of stupidity, honor and plot convenience. The rebound lariat (which Cole calls, I kid you not, the Wacky Line) has HHH in trouble and Dean sends him to the apron, only to be backdropped to the floor to make HHH the winner and champion at 1:01:42.

Rating: A-. This one took a good while to get going but once Reigns left, everything picked up. That’s where everything starts falling apart. This match is all about Reigns and the problem is very simple: people don’t seem to like him. It says a lot that Jericho lasted 51 minutes and Reigns officially went 58 though only one of them needed half an hour of rest. That right there is proof positive that Reigns probably isn’t going to be get cheered most of the time. This made him look very lame and that’s one of the worst things you can do to a star. Having him WALK OUT OF THE ARENA was just horrible and the worst possible idea.

The rest of the match was pretty awesome though as you had everyone fighting over the title. Unfortunately there are some major holes, such as Brock just walking away and having to wait for Reigns to come back. It’s not the best Rumble of all time as Reigns loomed over the whole thing but having the title on the line was a great idea and something I wish they did more often than every twenty four years. Give us some better options for the possible winner and ANYTHING other than Reigns vs. HHH as the big story and this is one of the best of all time.

HHH and family celebrate as fireworks take us out.

Overall Rating: A. This was a one match show and anything else worth watching on the show (such as the opener) was going to be more than enough to make this awesome. While it wound up setting the stage for the worst Wrestlemania in a long time, at least we have an awesome Royal Rumble to get us there. WWE had a lot of potential at this point, especially considering all the injuries they had at the time. It’s a strong Rumble, assuming you ignore the completely backwards reactions for Reigns.

Ratings Comparison

Mark Henry/Jack Swagger vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Darren Young/Damien Sandow vs. Ascension

Original: D+

Redo: D

Dean Ambrose vs. Kevin Owens

Original: B

Redo: B+

New Day vs. Usos

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kalisto

Original: C

Redo: C+

Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch:

Original: C-

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: A-

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: A

What was up with me hating the women like that?

Here’s the original rating if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2016/01/24/royal-rumble-2016-this-rumble-game-thing/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series 2015
Date: November 22, 2015
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 14,481
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

Now this is an interesting one as I barely remember anything about it from just a year ago. The big story here is the World Title having to be decided in a tournament as Seth Rollins destroyed his knee and is out for a LONG time. Other than that, the big match is the Undertaker teaming with Kane against the Wyatt Family to celebrate 25 years since his debut with the company. Let’s get to it.

Oh and before we get going: ISIS was allegedly targeting this show for a terrorist attack. Nothing would come of the rumors but it got quite a bit of attention.

Pre-Show: Dudley Boyz/Goldust/Neville/Titus O’Neil vs. Cosmic Wasteland/Miz/Bo Dallas

The Cosmic Wasteland was a short lived mini stable comprised of Stardust and the Ascension. Goldust is a mystery partner, making his return after several months off due to a shoulder injury, to freak Stardust out. The brothers start things off but a right hand means it’s off to Viktor, who is powerslammed and pinned in about thirty seconds. I’d bet on that being an injury.

Titus and Konnor come in for the big power showdown, meaning a bunch of whips and slams which are supposed to mean more because they’re being done by bigger guys. D-Von gets a chant (for some reason) and a tag (because Titus wanted to come out), which means it’s time for What’s Up. The rest of the heels are sent outside for a big flip dive from Neville in a big crash.

Back from a break with Bubba Rock Bottoming Konnor for an elimination to make it 5-3. D-Von comes back in but gets beaten down to give the heels a little breather. A spinebuster drops Miz and that’s enough for the tag off to Neville for the quick kicks to the face. Dallas grabs a Bodog and a Skull Crushing Finale gives Miz the pin on Neville to get us down to 4-3, only to have Goldust roll Miz up to get the fall back.

We come back from a second break with Dallas holding Goldust in a chinlock before it’s off to Stardust for some brotherly stomping. The chinlocks continue and the remaining bad guys charge at the three remaining on the apron in a rare good shot for the villains. Goldust shows he’s really back with a Code Red of all things, allowing the tag off to Titus. The Clash of the Titus gets rid of Bo and a 3D finishes Stardust at 18:10. I have no idea why the announcers were talking about Gilligan’s Island for the last two falls but I’d bet on some form of subtext.

Rating: D+. This came and went but it’s fine for a way to warm the crowd up. At the end of the day you have a lot of people on the roster and it makes sense to throw people together like this in a nothing match. It’s almost like part of the point of the series in the first place. There’s not much to the match but Goldust returning was a nice little surprise.

Lillian Garcia sings the National Anthem as a big middle finger to the terrorism charges. I actually liked this and she can sing the heck out of that song.

The opening video looks at the Undertaker because that’s really what this show is all about. The slow piano version of his theme is really cool. These recaps are actually really helpful because I had NO idea how we got to the Wyatts vs. the Brothers of Destruction. It turns out that they kidnapped Undertaker and Kane and now they’re fighting them because Bray and company are up there with Scooby-Doo villains when it comes to effectiveness. We also look at the tournament as an afterthought before going back to Undertaker and Kane.

WWE World Title Tournament Semifinals: Roman Reigns vs. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio’s US Title isn’t on the line of course. What should be on the line is Roman’s career after the fans just erupt with boos during his entrance. Unfortunately this is also during the Zeb Colter period for Del Rio, which was just horrible on every level. They never clicked and there’s no way around that.

The booing turns into LET’S GO ROMAN/ROMAN SUCKS as Reigns hits a shoulder for the first offense. Alberto takes over outside but Roman hammers away back inside because he doesn’t have the strongest offense. The corner enziguri knocks Roman silly (that always looks great) and it’s time for the arm to go into the steps. We see HHH watching with a smile on his face after Reigns turned down a chance to be the Authority’s new protege because they’re still trying to redo Austin vs. McMahon.

A chinlock slows things down and Roman goes shoulder first into the post to make the arm even worse. The running clothesline drops Del Rio and Reigns’ good arm fires off the corner clotheslines. Del Rio gets in a Backstabber to take over again as this is going back and forth. They head to the corner so Del Rio can miss that still horribly stupid top rope double stomp and bang up his knee.

Not that it matters as it’s cross armbreaker into the rollup into the powerbomb but Roman can’t cover. Now the armbreaker goes on for a few seconds before Roman easily escapes (likely because it wasn’t on the arm Del Rio had worn down) and spears his way to the finals at 14:05.

Rating: B-. Standard Raw main event here and I don’t think anyone bought Del Rio was going to go to the finals. At the end of the day his main event run is LONG over at this point and there’s no reason to believe Reigns is going to be the first top level face in forever to submit to the armbreaker. The match was entertaining but really more of a way to kill time until the inevitable spear. That’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Ambrose praises Reigns for his win and Roman is happy to fight Dean for the title. That was pretty much the only possible ending to the tournament and everyone knew it when the brackets were revealed. Kevin Owens comes in after Ambrose leaves and thinks Reigns will screw up at the finish line all over again because Kevin himself will stop him.

WWE World Title Tournament Semifinals: Kevin Owens vs. Dean Ambrose

Owens’ Intercontinental Title isn’t on the line. Kevin grabs a headlock as JBL goes into his ridiculous rant about how Ambrose can’t be the face of the company because he wouldn’t look good on the Tonight Show and on billboards as that’s pretty much just John Cena and John Cena alone.

Ambrose rakes Owens’ eyes across the top rope and slingshots out to the floor as the fans seem to be paying more attention to this one because there’s an actual chance either guy could win. It’s funny how that works. Dean gets crotched on the top and hit with the Cannonball (insert your Otto Wanz reference here because JBL has to use the same references every single time someone does a move), followed by a chinlock.

That goes nowhere so it’s the torture rack neckbreaker for another near fall. The two count means it’s time for some trash talking as only Owens can do. The fans are split again and I’m not sure if that’s good or bad. We’re right back to the chinlock (Owens: “CHINLOCK CITY BABY!”) before a double clothesline puts both guys down. Kevin misses his moonsault (good looking one too) and the standing elbow gets two.

They head up top with Owens countering a superplex into that sweet swinging fisherman’s superplex. Owens: “COLE TELL HIM TO STAY DOWN!” That’s one thing I love about Owens: he does stuff that feels out of nowhere because he’s a bit off. A trip to the floor means something like a gutbuster onto the announcers’ table but the Pop Up Powerbomb is countered into a hurricanrana and Dirty Deeds sends Dean to the finals at 11:20.

Rating: B. I liked the energy here as it felt like a back and forth match with Owens not being able to keep Dean down and Dean just trying to sneak in anything he could at any time. It also helps that you could see Owens getting the win instead of waiting around until he got speared. That can do wonders and it made for a better match here.

TLC 2015 ad. I still love that video game theme.

We look at Undertaker’s debut and the rest of his career. Of note in that debut match: Roddy Piper said if anyone can figure out Undertaker, Bret Hart could do it. Over their careers, Undertaker never pinned Bret Hart (save for one house show) in a singles match.

Team Ryback vs. Team Sheamus

Ryback, Usos, Lucha Dragons

Sheamus, King Barrett, New Day

There’s no real rhyme or reason to these teams so I picked two singles guys for the captains. Also I’m pretty sure this was a bonus match for the sake of filling in some time and, you know, it’s Survivor Series. Sheamus is Mr. Money in the Bank here. It’s also REALLY weird to see New Day as heels, though they’re definitely getting over as faces in a hurry. Atlanta native Xavier Woods has a rather impressive new hair style and Kofi brags about all the gold on their team. Sheamus: “And tonight, WE’RE GONNA GET JIGGY ON THESE POSERS!!! AM I RIGHT???” The silence is hilarious but Kofi turns it into NEW DAY ROCKS!

Jey and Woods get things going and Xavier’s wishes for untouched hair are quickly ignored. Kofi comes in and gets splashed by Cara (with an assist from the twins) before Sheamus comes in and gets sent outside. Actually all of the heels are sent outside for a quadruple dive, followed by Ryback diving onto all of them. I’m sure WWE stifled the creativity he really wanted to display with that dive though and his idea was shot down.

We reset to Barrett working on Jey’s ribs and the heels take over. Xavier busts out the trombone and dancing ensues with Barrett joining in for the GIF of the night. An enziguri is enough to set up the hot tag off to Jimmy for the house cleaning. The superkick sets up Cara’s Swanton Bomb to get rid of Barrett and make it 5-4.

It’s Kofi’s turn to get beaten up but he grabs Jimmy in a backbreaker, combined with a top rope double stomp from Woods to tie things up. Big E. spears Cara through the ropes and there’s the Brogue Kick for the elimination. That’s not cool with Big E. as he thinks Sheamus stole his pin (true) so Ryback jumps E. from behind, setting up the Superfly Splash to tie things up again. Actually let’s make that 3-1 as Kofi and Woods walk out, leaving Sheamus all by himself.

Sheamus slowly stomps on Kalisto and does the ten forearms. JBL: “It’s like a pub in Dublin!” Cole: “They have masked luchadors over there?” Jimmy comes back in for the running Umaga attack as Lawler talks about Doink. A few shots slow Ryback down but Jimmy kicks Sheamus into the Shell Shock for the pin at 17:33.

Rating: D+. So Sheamus just lost to an Uso, a Lucha Dragon and Ryback and we’re supposed to buy him as a future World Champion? I mean, I know they need to have him established as being in the building but can they really do nothing other than having him get pinned here? The match was fine but the energy died after New Day was gone. It’s almost like the whole “Sheamus isn’t interesting” thing is absolutely right.

We recap Team PCB (Remember them? Paige, Charlotte and Becky Lynch) splitting up with Paige turning on Charlotte, partially out of jealousy for Charlotte’s Divas Title.

Divas Title: Paige vs. Charlotte

Charlotte is defending and isn’t the most interesting face because heroines who are bigger, stronger and more athletic than most of their opponents aren’t really the best choices for the top of a division. Except Roman Reigns of course. He’s just that cool. We actually get Big Match Intros and Paige has blue highlights for a nice look.

Charlotte easily wrestles her down to the mat and the frustration is setting in. Some knees to the chest have Charlotte in trouble and Paige’s shouts get NOTHING from the crowd. Back in and we hit an abdominal stretch so she can shout about being the Divas Champion. A backpack Stunner gets the champ out of trouble and brings the match one step closer to a coma.

They trade kicks to the face and Paige escapes the Figure Four because it’s WAY too early for a submission. The hold wasn’t the right way to go so Charlotte puts her in an electric chair to drop Paige onto the apron. Back in and we hit the figure four neck lock so Charlotte can use those legs to torture her a bit. Charlotte goes shoulder first into the post, which Lawler thinks could be a game changer.

Paige grabs a crossface while bending Charlotte’s leg forward at the same time as this continues to go from spot to spot because there’s no real story. Like, they’re both doing fine and the match is entertaining but I have no reason to care about either one of them. It’s very TNA of them.

A neckbreaker out of the corner gets Charlotte out of trouble and the bad looking spear sets up Natural Selection. There’s no cover though as it heads outside with Paige sending her into the barricade. Paige then poses on that said barricade and gets tackled off for a big crash, followed by the Figure Eight back inside to retain the title at 14:10.

Rating: B-. The match was fine but like I said, there was just nothing to get excited over. The story here was a team splitting up to set up the title match but that story doesn’t work because when no one cared about the team in the first place because they were thrown together for the sake of a lame story. Good wrestling, horrible storytelling.

Earlier tonight, Ambrose said everyone knew this was coming and he’ll fight his brother with no regrets. Reigns comes in to say he’ll bring it and they’re cool no matter what.

Tyler Breeze vs. Dolph Ziggler

Breeze debuted a few weeks ago (and lost his first match) and hooked up with Summer Rae, who had recently split with Ziggler, thereby setting up the mini feud. They trade laying on the top rope before Ziggler snaps off a dropkick. Breeze is knocked outside for the spot that would normally take us to a break in a TV match. I mean, this is a TV match but it’s on pay per view because it got bumped from the pre-show for the sake of time.

Back in and Breeze slowly hammers away before grabbing a weak half crab. Ziggler dropkicks him out of the air and hits some running clotheslines into the neckbreaker. To be fair, he does touch his knee before doing the big jumping elbow for two. We hit the pinfall reversal sequence before Tyler kicks him in the knee and hits an Unprettier for the pin at 6:31.

Rating: D. Cole tried to make this out to be a huge win but at the end of the day, it’s a win in a TV match disguised as a pay per view match against the guy that everyone beats. Breeze was dead in the water when he debuted on Smackdown and lost his first match because it was in the tournament against Ambrose. Hence why Breeze is where he is today. Ziggler is basically in the same spot he’s been in for years: hovering in the midcard and being the exact same thing, save for an occasional bump up thanks to an actual interesting character in the Miz.

We recap the Brothers of Destruction vs. the Wyatts. Undertaker: “I’m creepy!” Bray: “I’m creepier than you!” Undertaker: “These young boys never learn.” Bray also kidnapped both of them….and then let them go because he’s weird that way.

Undertaker/Kane vs. Bray Wyatt/Luke Harper

The entrances take FOREVER with Undertaker’s going even longer than usual, though it’s a pretty special occasion. Before the bell rings, Undertaker and Kane have to beat up Rowan to fulfill a contractual requirement of any Wyatt match. Kane and Harper start, basically missing the purpose of the entire feud. A basement dropkick floors Luke and it’s off to Undertaker for a nice reaction.

Cole declares Undertaker the greatest of all time as Luke’s arm is cranked. Old School is broken up as JBL does his stat/history reading designed to sound like casual conversation and, as usual, it’s horrible. Bray gets beaten up a little bit and NOW Old School connects. This time it’s JBL talking about Undertaker doing Old School for 25 years straight because we need to ignore shows he wasn’t at and times when he didn’t do the move. It’s off to Kane, who Strowman throws through the announcers’ table.

Somehow that’s not a DQ so it’s Bray taking over on Kane as we wait on the inevitable Undertaker hot tag. Sister Abigail is countered and the running DDT allows the aforementioned tag. Undertaker gets clotheslined to the floor where Strowman takes the double chokeslam through the other announcers’ table. Sister Abigail gets two on Undertaker, we get the double situp to break Bray’s spider walk and it’s the chokeslam into a Tombstone to finish Harper at 10:41.

Rating: D. They would have been better off having Undertaker just fight Harper on his own here as there was no doubt on the win and the Wyatts lost any credibility they might have had. I’m cool with Undertaker getting the big moment on the big stage and all that jazz because twenty five years to the day is an impressive day but this was really just a way to waste about twenty minutes and talk about how great Undertaker is.

WWE World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Dean Ambrose

The title is vacant coming in. Dean wins the early slugout but is taken outside and whipped into the barricade. The fans are all over Reigns as Dean hits the suicide dive, followed by an armbar to follow up on the earlier match. Some powerbombs get two on Dean and the Superman Punch is good for the same. Dean’s rebound lariat doesn’t do much good as Reigns spears him down for two. It’s really not a good sign that we’re at the first kickout of a finisher five minutes into a pay per view main event.

Another spear is blocked by a boot before the shirt spear is sent shoulder first into the post. Dirty Deeds gets two more and most of the crowd doesn’t seem to care, mainly because they’re hip to the trading finishers concept. They start slugging it out while sitting on the mat with Dean getting the better of it and hammering away in the corner….before he gets speared for the pin and the title at 9:02.

Rating: D+. What in the world was that? Reigns just pins him in nine minutes to win the title? There’s little drama, no surprise as everyone knew he was going to get the title here and barely any time for the match because all these other things needed to go so much longer. Reigns is a legitimate champion after beating four people to get the title but my goodness this was disappointing.

They take their sweet time celebrating as confetti falls….and here’s HHH. The boss offers a handshake and gets speared down, which Cole calls the most important moment in Reigns’ career. Cue Sheamus and the title match is on.

WWE World Title: Sheamus vs. Roman Reigns

Brogue Kick gets two, second Brogue Kick makes Sheamus champion at 34 seconds. Where did Dean go while this was happening?

The heels celebrate and Reigns looks like he’s about to cry to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I remember liking this at first but sweet goodness this does not hold up. So there’s a tournament with the most obvious final ever and the most obvious winner ever and then “oh wait never mind because Sheamus cashes in because Money in the Bank ruins everything). The semifinal matches were fine for big time Raw main events but that’s not what people remember and/or care about. This show was about Reigns winning the title and then they screw that over for the “surprise” ending.

What’s even worse is where this would go. Reigns would go into Superman mode and win the title twenty two days later when he beat Sheamus on Raw, making this a huge waste of time and two cheap title reigns in a row. Sheamus is not a main event talent and this does more harm to Reigns than good. Just have Reigns fend off the cash-in attempt and hold the title until the HHH win in the Royal Rumble. Everything winds up the same and you don’t have the lame story and lame ending to this show.

Other than the World Title scene, we have the mess that is the rest of the card. The only other thing that matters here is the Undertaker match, which was a cool moment with the setup but a really bad match and another moment with the Wyatts losing for the sake of giving Undertaker another big win. The women’s match was fine albeit ice cold, the Survivor Series match had no story and was just a way to have New Day be funny and Breeze vs. Ziggler was advertised and therefore had to take place.

Now to be fair, they had to change A TON of stuff for the sake of the tournament and that’s not on them. What is on them is going with the “surprise” factor over logical storytelling. Sheamus is a multiple time World Champion and a Money in the Bank winner but that doesn’t mean he’s someone people want to see on top of the card at this point. If they want Reigns to be a top star, they need to let him be a top star. A five minute title reign after a bad match isn’t the way to go about that.

Ratings Comparison

Dudley Boyz/Goldust/Neville/Titus O’Neil vs. Cosmic Wasteland/Miz/Bo Dallas

Original: C

Redo: D+

Roman Reigns vs. Alberto Del Rio

Original: B

Redo: B-

Kevin Owens vs. Dean Ambrose

Original: B-

Redo: B

Team Ryback vs. Team Sheamus

Original: C

Redo: D+

Paige vs. Charlotte

Original: C-

Redo: B-

Dolph Ziggler vs. Tyler Breeze

Original: C-

Redo: D

Brothers of Destruction vs. Wyatt Family

Original: D+

Redo: D

Roman Reigns vs. Dean Ambrose

Original: D

Redo: D+

Sheamus vs. Roman Reigns

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D

I was WAY too kind to this one the first time around. The last hour and a half is dreadful.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/11/22/survivor-series-2015-rise-and-fall/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Survivor Series 2013
Date: November 24, 2013
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the final show before the 2014 edition and for the most part I have no idea what happens here. If I remember right it’s something about Orton and then Reigns destroying a bunch of people. It kind of amazes me how easy the last year is to forget while I could snap off the main event of almost every PPV 2005 or so. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

Kofi won’t shake hands to start but eventually gives in after a few seconds. Kingston tries to speed things up with his leapfrogs before a crucifix gets two. A backslide gets two more but Kofi charges into an atomic drop. Both guys miss finishers but Kofi kicks him in the face and clotheslines him out to the floor. There’s a suicide dive for good measure and we take a break. Back with Kofi holding a chinlock for a change but Miz fights up with a big boot to take over.

Another boot to the face gets two and Miz puts on a chinlock. Back up and Kofi hits a quick standing double stomp before speeding things up with his dropkicks. There’s the Boom Drop but Trouble in Paradise misses. SOS connects for two and a high cross body gets the same as Miz is reeling. Kofi kicks him in the chest a few times before countering a Skull Crushing Finale attempt into a rollup, only to have Miz counter into a rollup of his own for the pin.

Rating: C. Nice match here as Kofi kept things moving until Miz finally caught him going for one too many big moves. Kingston is a guy that can move around as fast as anyone else and put on an entertaining match with almost anyone. Miz was looking sharp here too, even though I’d like him to drop that Figure Four nonsense. It didn’t work for him then and it still doesn’t today.

The show itself opens with HHH and Stephanie rather than an opening video. They guarantee no physical interference in any match tonight. Not a single one. Assuming Boston is ready, here’s the opening match.

After an opening video about the flame of survival in us all that is. As usual this transitions into a video about the main events.

Rey Mysterio/Goldust/Cody Rhodes/Usos vs. Shield/Real Americans

Elimination match of course. This is Mysterio’s return from yet another injury. Ambrose is US Champion and Cody and Goldust are Tag Team Champions, having taken the belts from Reigns and Rollins recently. Before the match, Colter rips on Americans for Twerking and even gives us a demonstration. David Ortiz gets insulted a bit as well until Cody Rhodes cuts him off and Twerks a bit as well.

Rhodes and Ambrose get things going with Rhodes nailing him with a right hand. Dean comes back with a clothesline but argues with the referee, allowing Cody to roll him up for a quick elimination. Everything breaks down for a bit with the Usos nailing all four remaining opponents. Each Uso dives on a team and the good guys are in full control.

We settle down to Cody suplexing Seth for two. Off to Goldust to a huge reaction but Swagger comes in off a blind tag and runs Goldust over. Cesaro snaps Goldust’s arm over the top rope before coming in to work on the ribs. Swagger gets two off a powerslam as Cole screws up Survivor Series history, saying that Andre won the first Survivor Series match (it was the first main event). Cesaro jumps over Swagger’s shoulders for a double stomp and slaps on a chinlock.

Back up and Goldust grabs a DDT to put both guys down. Goldust has to elbow all of his opponents before hitting a sunset bomb on Cesaro, only to have Swagger come in first. The Vader Bomb hits raised boots though and the hot tag brings in Mysterio. A quick 619 sets up a superkick from Jimmy and the Superfly Splash from Jey to make it 5-3.

Cesaro comes in immediately with Swiss Death for two on Jey. Both Usos get Swung and Cesaro is the most over person in the match. His reward: a sunset from Cody for another elimination. It’s Reigns in now to run over Jey and stomp away in the corner. Rollins comes in with an elbow for two before it’s back to Reigns to work on the arm. Cole mistakenly says the Shield has developed rivalries over the years but JBL points out that they’ve only been around a year. Cole: “Well you know what I mean.” JBL: “No not really.”

Jey finally gets over for the hot tag to Jimmy who takes Reigns down with a Samoan drop. The running Umaga attack gets two but Roman blocks the splash with his knees and nails the spear to make it 4-2. Cody comes in with a missile dropkick to Rollins as things speed up. The moonsault press gets two but the Disaster Kick is caught in midair. Rollins gets countered into Cross Rhodes but makes a blind tag, allowing Reigns to spear Cody for the elimination.

Jey sends Reigns into the barricade but misses a high cross body back inside. Rollins makes another quick tag to come in for a Curb Stomp and it’s down to Mysterio/Goldust vs. Reigns/Rollins. Rey is quickly taken down by Rollins but he comes back with a kick to the head for two. The advantage is short lived though as Rey gets tied in the Tree of Woe for a running dropkick to the ribs. Reigns throws him out to the floor with ease but the spear hits the post by mistake.

It’s quickly back to Rollins who dropkicks Goldust off the apron, only to get caught in a rollup for a fast pin. It’s Reigns vs. Goldust/Mysterio but Seth gets in some cheap shots on Mysterio before he leaves. Rey sends a charging Reigns into the buckle and tags in Goldust to clean house. A spinebuster plants Reigns and Goldust hammers away in the corner. Goldust nails a powerslam and spinning cross body for two each but a bulldog is countered into a spear for another pin. So it’s Mysterio vs. Reigns and the 619 is broken up with a huge spear to give Reigns the pin.

Rating: C. The match was boring to start but picked up a lot when Reigns was unleashed. This was the star making performance that started Reigns’ push to the moon which would be driven even higher when he broke the elimination record in the Royal Rumble. The match itself wasn’t much to see but those spears looked great.

HHH, Kane and Stephanie are in the back when Orton comes in. He wants to make sure everyone is on the same page after he demanded respect from the Authority on Monday. HHH wants to know if that’s just making sure everything is ok or if Orton is asking them to save him tonight. We get the usual Face of the WWE speech but Stephanie tells him to go prove it.

Intercontinental Title: Big E. Langston vs. Curtis Axel

Langston took the title from Axel on Monday and this is the rematch. Axel puts on a headlock but gets taken down with pure power. With that not working, Curtis starts going after the arm for almost the same result. Big E. busts out a leapfrog before just running Axel over. A running splash in the corner crushes Axel again and a clothesline gets two.

They head outside for a few seconds with Axel knocking Langston off the apron to get his first advantage. Back in and Curtis puts on a chinlock before Langston fights up with a big belly to belly. The Warrior Splash connects but Axel grabs a quick PerfectPlex for two. Back up and the Big Ending retain the title with ease.

Rating: D+. This was far less of a match and more of a formality. Langston was getting a solid push around this time until they suddenly pulled the plug on him. Axel has the same result, though at least he got to be in a tag team. Hopefully Langston can get somewhere with the New Day stuff but I won’t get my hopes up.

Post match Big E. talks about being in Boston but doesn’t want to look like he’s pandering to the people here in Boston. However, this feels like when the Boston Red Sox won the World Series.

AJ gives the True Divas a big pep talk but they don’t buy into it. Rosa Mendes: “Do you think you’re better than all of us.” AJ: “Yes?” Kaitlyn goes on a rant about all the horrible things AJ has done but AJ says this is about Total Divas not wanting any of them. The champ’s (AJ) advice for the night: start your own show by stealing this one.

Total Divas vs. True Divas

Total Divas: Bella Twins, Natalya, Funkadactyls, Jojo, Eva Marie

True Divas: AJ Lee, Tamina Snuka, Summer Rae, Rosa Mendes, Alicia Fox, Aksana, Kaitlyn

Elimination tag and let’s get this over with. Fox works over Naomi in the corner to start and slams her down for one. She puts Naomi on top but gets elbowed down, setting up a split legged moonsault to get rid of Fox. Rosa comes in and avoids the Rear View before it’s off to Cameron. This can’t go well. A double split legdrop from the Funkadactyls gets two on Mendes as we hear about the Total Divas having personalities.

Rosa sends a charging Cameron into the middle buckle for a pin. Mendes dances but turns into a Bella Buster from Nikki for another elimination. Summer comes in wearing orange and blue for a dance off with Nikki. Summer does the splits and gets dropkicked to make it 6-4 for the Total Divas. Eva Marie comes in and is booed out of the building. Kaitlyn doesn’t like her either and ends her with a quick gutbuster to make it 5-4. Naomi comes in but takes a gutbuster of her own for the pin. Tied at four now with Brie throwing Kaitlyn down for two.

Kaitlyn misses a spear and gets caught by a bad looking missile dropkick for another pin. I’m not leaving out anything on play by play here. These falls are just going that fast. AJ kicks Brie from behind, allowing Aksana to hit a bad spinebuster to eliminate Brie. A Rack Attack ends Aksana about 10 seconds later and we’re down to AJ/Tamina vs. Nikki/Natalya/Jojo. Tamina comes in to lay Nikki out with headbutts and Nikki is nice enough to smile through half of the beating.

Nikki gets thrown into Natalya and it’s off to Jojo, who has almost no in ring experience. Jojo nails a quick cross body and a rollup gets two before Tamina just kicks her head off. A Samoan drop plants Jojo and AJ comes in for the pin. The announcers say it’s 2-1 because Nikki Bella is that forgettable. Tamina charges into Natalya in the corner but misses the Superfly Splash, allowing Natalya to hook the Sharpshooter for the elimination. AJ comes in and gets nailed by Nikki because she wasn’t eliminated, setting up another Sharpshooter so the Total Divas can win.

Rating: F. This won Worst Match of the Year and it’s really easy to see why. It was clear that they had no idea how to do more than a few spots and had to fly through this match as fast as they could. I can’t stand these messes but the fans hating Eva Marie made up for it a bit. In case this wasn’t enough for you, there was a REMATCH the next night!

Orton asks referee Charles Robinson to help him out tonight but Robinson says he’ll do what the Authority told him to do.

Expert panel time but Ryback’s music cuts them off. Ryback says his favorite Survivor Series memory is shutting up all those old timers. He can intimidate anyone here but that doesn’t make him a bully. It’s open challenge time so let’s have a Wrestlemania rematch.

Ryback vs. Mark Henry

This is another return for Henry. They fight over a lockup to start and Ryback talks even more trash. Henry casually shoves him across the ring so Ryback goes after the knee for two. Ryback slams him down but misses a charge into the post. Maybe the GOLDBERG chants messed with his head. Mark gets down on all fours for some JYD headbutts before a powerslam gets two. The World’s Strongest Slam is countered into a spinebuster and Ryback takes down the straps. Ryback’s Meat Hook is countered with a cross body and now the World’s Strongest Slam is enough for the pin.

Rating: D. I can’t remember the last time I saw such a worthless set of back to back matches. Henry looked fatter than ever and Ryback’s collapse continues. At the end of the day the guy has come back so many times that it’s really hard to care. The fact that he’s anything but the Hall of Pain era Henry makes things even worse.

We recap Cena vs. Del Rio. Cena had to leave due to a bad arm but came back to take the World Heavyweight Championship from Del Rio like the main event jobber that he was. This is the rematch and Del Rio is going after the arm. Of course.

World Heavyweight Championship: John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio

Cena is the defending hometown boy so the split chants begin. They fight over a headlock to start until Del hiptosses him down for a headlock and some of the most obvious spot calls I’ve ever seen. Back up and Del Rio steps on Cena’s head before a snap suplex gets two. Cena powers out of an armbar but Del Rio sends him outside and into the steps. They head back inside and the arm work continues along with the slow pace.

Cena fights up again but misses a charge into the buckle to keep Del Rio in control. Alberto avoids a shoulder block and Cena falls outside again so Del Rio can stay on the arm. A clothesline gets two on the champ and we hit another armbar. Del Rio talks about doing two things to Cena because he’s really bad at spot calling. Cena powers up again and hits a clothesline, only to walk into a Backstabber for two.

Alberto goes up but dives into a dropkick to put both guys down again. Back up and the ProtoBomb looks to set up the Shuffle but Cena takes too long, allowing Del Rio to score with a DDT. Alberto misses a charge of his own though and both guys are down again. The champ’s finishing sequence is countered yet again into a German suplex so he opts for a tornado DDT for two. The enziguri knocks Cena off the top and the dueling chants begin again.

Del Rio puts him in the Tree of Woe but his charge hits the post by mistake. There’s the top rope Fameasser for two and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets the same for Del Rio. Alberto calls for the cross armbreaker and gets a huge SI chant. Cena rolls through into the STF though, sending Del Rio rolling over to the ropes. The low superkick gets two on John and his belly to back neckbreaker gets the same for the champ. Cena’s cross body is countered into the armbreaker but he counters up into a powerbomb. Back up and the AA retains Cena’s title.

Rating: B. Del Rio is basically the new Chris Jericho: he’ll win the title every now and then, but he’s little more than cannon fodder for Cena. I have no reason to believe that Cena is going to tap out to the armbreaker and every time Del Rio went for the hold it felt like a waste of time. Alberto’s style makes perfect sense for him, but it’s a waste of time against Cena. The match was good, but the ending was never once in doubt.

Santino and Truth play with toys, only to be joined by Los Matadores, El Torito, Fandango and Johnny Ace.

We recap the Wyatts vs. Bryan/Punk. Bray saw both of them as heroes that needed to be destroyed so he crushed Bryan’s head and went after Punk in general. Bryan came out for the save and we’ve got a tag match. The tag line makes it a bit better: the Wyatts vs. the Beard/the Best.

CM Punk/Daniel Bryan vs. Wyatt Family

Bray holds up the lantern and says Abigail told him Punk and Bryan would be tough as nails. She was right. Bryan kicks at Rowan’s leg to start and is quickly shoved down. More kicks to the leg send Rowan into the good corner for a tag from Punk. The fans are very pleased with the tattooed hero but Erick drives him into the other corner to take over. Off to Harper as the Family starts taking turns working over Punk’s ribs.

Rowan slaps on a bearhug but Punk slips out of a suplex and tags in Bryan. Their combined forces can’t suplex Rowan though so he sends both guys flying at the same time. Things settle down until Punk and Bryan start kicking away in the corner and now they can suplex Rowan down. Naturally the announcers are debating if Rowan is like Michael Myers or not.

Back to Harper but Punk easily drives him back into the corner as well. A double dropkick sets up Bryan’s YES Kicks and we go old school with a Hart Attack for two. Punk gets distracted by Erick though, allowing Harper to kick Punk’s head off and tag in the other freak. A backbreaker gets two for Rowan and it’s back to Luke for the Gator Roll. Rowan starts talking to the mask on the post as Luke gets two off the Michinoku Driver.

Rowan comes back in and charges into a boot in the corner, followed by a tornado DDT (way too common a move anymore). There’s the hot tag to Bryan who comes in with all of his usual stuff. Luke gets kicked to the floor for the FLYING GOAT. Back in and the missile dropkick gets two but the big YES Kick is caught in a powerbomb. Bryan counters into a hurricanrana but Luke counters it’s top rope cousin into a super sitout powerbomb for a very close two.

Everything breaks down and Rowan throws Punk out to the floor. A splash gets two on Bryan as things settle back down. Harper runs Bryan over and chokes with the boot before catapulting him throat first into the rope. Daniel fights back until Erick catches him in a half nelson suplex. The monster gets too confident though and goes after Punk, only to get kicked in the head. The hot tag brings in Punk to clean house again but he dives on Rowan and Wyatt instead of Harper. Back in and the top rope elbow gets two on Luke but Rowan breaks up the GTS. That earns him a running knee and the GTS ends Harper.

Rating: B-. The fans thought it was awesome but it never got past solid for me. Bryan and Punk are the kind of super team that you put in there to fight monsters like these, but at the end of the day it doesn’t matter until they fight the master himself. At least Harper and Rowan are still good enough to have a good match and look like real threats.

Bray teases getting in but backs down as you would expect.

Cena is getting his arm looked at with the Authority next to him. Orton comes in and isn’t pleased so Cena leaves them to their chat.

We recap Big Show vs. Randy Orton. Big Show was basically blackmailed into being the Authority’s monster until lawsuits were threatened and Big Show was given anything he wanted. Rather than money, job security, or a piece of the WWE, he wanted a single WWE Title shot. This went on for months and felt like it would never end, setting up a match that no one wanted to see.

WWE Title: Big Show vs. Randy Orton

Champion Orton immediately bails to the floor before going back in and getting shoved out again. Randy heads back in again and takes one of the loudest chops I’ve ever heard. Show tries to claw Orton up from the floor but gets his throat snapped across the top rope. A big shoulder gives Show two but Orton finally scores with a dropkick.

We hit the front facelock as the crowd goes silent again. Instead Orton shifts to a horrible sleeper until Show suplexes him down. Orton rolls outside to avoid a chokeslam so Show sends him into the steps. Back in and Show tries to go up for some reason, allowing the champ to crotch him down and nail the Elevated DDT. He takes too long setting up the RKO though and eats a chokeslam for two.

Show loads up the KO but Orton bails outside, bumping into the referee’s knee in the process. They head into the crowd to keep up the beating, including a KO Punch to knock Orton silly on the floor. We’re about to have a new champion and of course here’s the Authority. The distraction lets Orton nail an RKO, setting up a Punt to retain the title.

Rating: D. This is basically poor man’s version of Del Rio vs. Cena. The ending was never in doubt as there was no way they were putting the belt on Show, but the match was really dull and boring throughout. This was the culmination of a terribly dull story and thankfully they moved on to anything better, like Cena vs. Orton. That’s a fresh idea right?

Orton celebrates but Cena comes out and holds up his own belt to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was a rollercoaster. The first part was just kind of there, then it went straight down, then up for Cena/Bryan/Punk, then down through a hole for the finish. October/November is just a horrible time for the company every year and this is probably the low point for the Survivor Series. There are far worse shows, but man alive this show felt worthless. It’s just not an interesting show and felt like it could have been any given B show rather than the second longest PPV ever. That’s a bad sign for a show this important.

Ratings Comparison

The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

Original: B-

Redo: C

Real Americans/Shield vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust/Rey Mysterio/Usos

Original: B-

Redo: C

Curtis Axel vs. Big E. Langston

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Total Divas vs. True Divas

Original: D-

Redo: F

Mark Henry vs. Ryback

Original: D

Redo: D

Alberto Del Rio vs. John Cena

Original: D+

Redo: B

Wyatt Family vs. CM Punk/Daniel Bryan

Original: B

Redo: B-

Big Show vs. Randy Orton

Original: D-

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Dang I really didn’t like Del Rio back then.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/11/24/survivor-series-2013-they-had-me-for-a-bit/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Strangest Summerslam Matches
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield, Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan, Jim Ross, Gorilla Monsoon, Roddy Piper, Corey Graves

This could be interesting as I’m curious to know what WWE considers “strange”. There have been some unique matches throughout Summerslam’s history, though I’m not sure what I would classify as strange. Either way, we could be going through quite a few years here and that sounds fun so let’s get to it.

From 2013.

Kane vs. Bray Wyatt

Ring Of Fire match, meaning…well what do you think it means? The idea here is that there are walls of flames that will pop up if someone tries to leave or if someone (namely the Wyatt Family, here with Bray) tries to get in. You win by pinfall or submission and this is Wyatt’s in-ring main roster debut. Got all that?

The bell rings and the flames go up, albeit just a few inches. That’s not very impressive, though the flames jumping up feet as Kane clotheslines Wyatt down works WAY better. Kane knocks him near the flames, sending Wyatt into the corner instead. Wyatt fights back but gets suplexed so the flames go up again. The running body block drops Kane as Lawler describes Wyatt as “Duck Dynasty meets Charles Manson”.

Wyatt starts shouting while stomping so Kane kicks him in the face. The side slam has the flames flying again but Wyatt gets in his own knockdown and requests a kendo stick. Said stick catches on fire so the firemen spray it down. The chokeslam plants Wyatt for no cover as Kane is distracted by the Family trying to get in. Another chokeslam drops Wyatt again but the Family puts a blanket over the flames and get inside, meaning the double teaming can begin. Sister Abigail finishes Kane at 7:49.

Rating: C. When the whole point of the match is “they can’t get in because of the fire” and then they figure out how to get around the fire in about seven minutes, it’s only so interesting. As was the case with so many ideas involving Wyatt, this was a fun concept that didn’t exactly work, mainly because it got way too simple once the bell rang. Kane was a good first opponent for Wyatt, but this could have been done a lot better.

From 1999.

Steve Blackman vs. Ken Shamrock

Lion’s Den match, meaning in a small, round cage with weapons hanging from the sides. Blackman gets smart by using the nunchucks on Shamrock’s leg. Shamrock takes them away so Blackman sweeps the leg to take him down again. Back up and Shamrock pulls him into a cross armbreaker, which is broken up rather quickly.

Blackman rams him into the cage a few times and slowly hammers away before getting the kendo stick. Shamrock fights up with a belly to belly suplex and beats Blackman down with the stick for a change, including a nasty shot to the…well the shoulder but Shamrock was at least swinging for the head. Another shots to the head knocks Blackman silly for the win at 9:04.

Rating: C. I’ve never gotten much out of this, as it’s mainly just two guys hitting each other with weapons for about nine minutes. There’s only so much interest to be found in a match like this and the ending left something to be desired. It’s not a terrible match, but it’s another concept that really didn’t click.

From 2000.

Intercontinental Title: Eddie Guerrero/Chyna vs. Val Venis/Trish Stratus

Venis and Stratus are defending and whomever gets the fall is the champion. Venis shoulders Guerrero down to start but gets caught with a northern lights suplex for two. Chyna comes in for a double flapjack and goes after Trish (to a ROAR) but Venis makes the save. Guerrero comes back in to glare at Trish, followed by a hurricanrana for two on Venis.

Back up and Venis grabs a Blue Thunder Bomb before the two of them ram heads for a double down. NOW Trish is willing to come in and cover Guerrero for two, but it’s off to Chyna and the fans approve. Venis has to pull Chyna down out of the corner but Guerrero pulls Venis to the floor. That leaves Trish alone with Chyna and it’s a gorilla to make Chyna the Intercontinental Champion at 7:13.

Rating: C+. I’ve seen this match a bunch of times over the years and it really does kind of work. It’s a match where the ending is fairly obvious but you’re left wondering how we’ll get there. The good thing is they didn’t screw it up, as Chyna gets to wreck Trish and win the title, which is how this should have gone. Fun stuff.

From 1993.

Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez

Rest In Peace match, which basically means street fight. Harvey Wippleman is here with Gonzalez and has stolen the urn, shockingly enough, though there’s no Paul Bearer. Undertaker strikes away with the uppercuts to start but Gonzalez kicks him in the face. That means the situp, with Heenan wondering if that’s how Undertaker sits up in bed in the morning.

They go outside, where Gonzalez gets in a heck of a chair shot to put Undertaker down again. Undertaker slowly pulls himself up and they go back inside for more uppercuts, but Undertaker stops to go for the urn. That doesn’t work well…and here is Paul Bearer to one of the biggest reactions he’ll ever receive. Bearer actually takes out Wippleman and gets the urn back, with the fans rather approving. Undertaker fires off a bunch of clotheslines, with a top rope version finally putting Gonzalez away at 8:05.

Rating: D. I know I’m not exactly breaking any new ground with this, but Gonzalez was another kind of terrible. This was supposed to be some big special match and other than a chair shot, it might as well have been a regular match. It’s a good example of a star having nothing to work with and the results were definitely not pretty.

From 1992.

Rick Martel vs. Shawn Michaels

The deal here is neither can hit the other in the face as Sherri, who is at ringside, finds them both very attractive. The back of Sherri’s pants are missing and Vince loses his mind, as you might expect him to. Martel flips away from him to start and Michaels is frustrated early on. A dropkick puts Martel down but Michaels goes to say something to Sherri, allowing Martel to get in a cheap shot from behind.

Martel knocks him to the floor and stops to hug Sherri, who seems to approve. Back in and Martel backdrops him down but they’re done with this and start slapping each other…and Sherri faints. Vince thinks she had a heart attack and we pause for both of them to check on her, with Michaels hitting Martel in the face. They fight up the aisle (with Sherri looking up and then putting her head back down) for the double countout at 8:08.

Rating: B-. I’ve seen this match a few times now and the more I watch it, the more I find it kind of brilliant. It’s one of those matches that would only really work with these two or a very small select handful otherwise but dang if they didn’t knock it out of the part. Sherri made it even better and I had a great time with this again. The match isn’t even anything particularly outstanding, but the whole concept worked very well.

Michaels picks Sherri up and carries her to the back but Martel runs back down and decks Michaels, making him drop Sherri. Martel tries to take her back but gets knocked down as well, with Michaels taking her back. Then Martel comes out with a bucket of water and pours it over Sherri, causing Michaels to chase him to the back. Sherri storms after them and screams a lot. The post match stuff adds a lot to the whole story.

From 2008.

Intercontinental/Women’s Title: Kofi Kingston/Mickie James vs. Santino Marella/Beth Phoenix

Kingston and James are defending and this is winning team takes all. The women start things off with James kicking her down and hitting a basement dropkick as Marella is panicking. Phoenix backdrops her way out of trouble and it’s off to Marella, who gets monkey flipped.

Kingston comes in and sends Marella outside, where he jumps into Phoenix’s arms to avoid a dive. Back in and Marella goes to the eyes so Phoenix can come in to beat on Kingston. Marella’s snap suplex sets up a reverse chinlock but Kingston fights up in a hurry. It’s back to James to clean house but Phoenix gets in a shot from behind. The Glam Slam gives Phoenix the win and the titles at 5:42.

Rating: C. This is another one that I’ve seen a bunch of times over the years and it doesn’t quite work as well as the one from 2000. The problem here is it could have gone either way and that makes things a bit different. It’s also not as good of a match, as the Marella/Phoenix stuff is much more about comedy, which takes away some of its impact. Not bad at all though.

Marella does a huge over the top celebration and climbs onto Phoenix’s shoulders as they leave.

From 1991.

Big Boss Man vs. The Mountie

Jimmy Hart is with the Mountie and the loser spends the night in jail. After his always awesome entrance, Boss Man hits him in the face to start and gets two off a splash. Mountie goes to the eyes and heads up, only to be pulled out of the air for one heck of a spinebuster. The neck crank goes on so Hart offers a distraction, allowing Mountie to send Boss Man into the steps.

Back in and Mountie slowly hammers away as Heenan makes Andy Griffith references. An elbow puts Boss Man on the floor so Hart yells a lot, causing Monsoon to call him the best advertisement for birth control. Back in again and Mountie gets two off a piledriver, meaning it’s time for the shock stick. That’s kicked away though and Boss Man hits a Boss Man Slam for…two. Huh. One heck of an Alabama Slam finishes Mountie at 9:49.

Rating: C. The match itself isn’t the point here, though that Alabama Slam was awesome. What mattered here was the fun that you knew was coming, as again there was no reason to believe that the Boss Man would lose. At the end of the day, the Boss Man losing wouldn’t have led to anything entertaining, while Mountie going to jail writes itself. Not a great match, but the right story to tell.

Post match Mountie is immediately put in a police van….and somehow we don’t get the collection of stuff with Mountie going to jail later. Come on Vault. Be better than that.

From 2023.

Ronda Rousey vs. Shayna Baszler

This is MMA rules, which were never exactly specified coming in. The referee explains that you can only win by knockout or submission, which is quite the bit of information. Baszler won’t touch gloves and we’re ready to go. Baszler takes her down into a front facelock to start but gets wrestled down. Back up and Baszler starts kicking at the leg before a high kick to the head sends Rousey out to the floor.

Rousey staggers back in and Baszler starts in on the leg, allowing them to punch each other from the mat. Rousey gets up and manages a hard knee to the face to put Baszler down for a bit. Another shot sends Baszler into the corner and we pause for the medics to check on her, with Rousey wondering why the fight isn’t over. Rousey shoves the medics away and gets suplexed down by Baszler, who grabs the Kirifuda Clutch. That’s reversed into the cross armbreaker but Baszler escapes and gets the Kirifuda Clutch and Rousey is out at 7:26.

Rating: D+. Yeah this really didn’t work. Between not being clear on the rules and the execution being pretty bad on top of that, it just wasn’t a great idea. I definitely appreciate Rousey putting Baszler over on her way out, but whatever they were going for just did not work out that well. They would have been better off with a regular, hard hitting match as this came up short.

Overall Rating: C. I’m not sure what to make of a playlist like this, as there is no particular flow to it and nothing is connected, though that’s also not the point. This was about a bunch of random odd matches and that’s exactly what you got. They never said that the matches were good, and for the most part they really weren’t. Nothing on here really stands out as must see, but it has enough nostalgic value for a quick glance if you haven’t seen some of them in a minute.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 2015
Date: August 23, 2015
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 15,702
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

This show was only a year ago and I barely remember anything about it save for the two main events. It really is amazing that these shows have just stopped standing out aside from Wrestlemania. Unfortunately we’re at the point where Summerslam is now a regular four hour show because three hours of pay per view plus five hours of TV a week and a two hour NXT show the night before this just isn’t enough. Let’s get to it.

Thankfully there was no pre-show match so we can get straight to the regular show. When you have three hours and forty four minutes on pay per view, you really don’t need an eight minute warmup match.

Here’s host Jon Stewart to open things up. Stewart hypes up the crowd and says it’s nice to be back in reality after spending sixteen years talking about politics. The WWE superstars respects their audience and they’re all ready to thrill this crowd. Jon lists off some names appearing on the show and of course Reigns and Cena are loudly booed. He’s not over the Streak being broken yet and is here to talk to Brock face to face about defeating the Undertaker.

Stewart isn’t crazy though and has brought some backup in the form of Mick Foley. Mick comes out and reminds Stewart that he only has one ear and thought Jon said he wanted to talk to ROCK. Stewart: “Are you telling me that the great Mick Foley is afraid of Brock Lesnar?” Foley: “Jon that’s exactly what I’m telling you!”

Stewart brings up the Cell match against Undertaker and calls it inspirational. Foley agrees that it was inspirational but also reminds Jon that IT WAS SEVENTEEN YEARS AGO. Mick has never been to Suplex City and he’s not starting tonight so he’s out of here. Stewart says on with the show to end this moderately funny bit. Above all else though, Stewart is clearly a huge fan and that helps so much in something like this. It felt like he’s here because it’s something he’s always wanted to do instead of just something he’s doing to promote a movie or whatever.

Opening video focuses on New York City (of course) and then goes into the main events.

I forgot how annoying that “We Cool For The Summer” song can be.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

This is fallout from Sheamus attacking Orton when Orton had the WWE World Title won, leading to a failed Money in the Bank cash-in attempt by the pale one. Cole: “Speaking of Money in the Bank, Randy Orton has had a great career right here at Summerslam.” Eventually he gets around to tying that together by saying Orton cashed in his briefcase two years ago but that’s not the best statement to start out with.

The fans tell Sheamus that he looks stupid and he has to bail from a very early RKO attempt. Actually Sheamus grabs the mic and gets on the announcers’ table to say the fans look stupid, not him. Orton is willing to fight on the floor but Sheamus takes him down with a clothesline. Sheamus actually hits a top rope knee drop for a rare sight. The slow beating continues with Sheamus stopping to adjust the mohawk.

A chinlock doesn’t last long so Sheamus takes him right back down and puts on another chinlock. Randy finally comes back with a clothesline and the backbreaker, followed by a suplex over the top and out to the floor. Back in and Sheamus gets two off a powerslam to set up a modified Cloverleaf. That’s escaped as well (because other than Chris Jericho, heels can’t win with submissions) and Orton hits the elevated DDT.

Sheamus gets the ten forearms to the chest but slingshots right into the RKO. Orton has to throw him back inside though and that means it’s time for the Punt. Yeah don’t even bother at this point as I don’t think anyone buys it as a real threat. Instead White Noise gets two, followed by back to back Brogue Kicks for the pin on Orton at 12:24.

Rating: C+. This was a longer version of a Raw match with a surprisingly clean ending. You kind of expect Sheamus to lose here but Orton losing instead was a nice change of pace. The problem is these two really don’t have a ton of chemistry and they were just kind of trading moves until the finish.

Some fans won a contest from Draftkings.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Lucha Dragons vs. Los Matadores vs. Prime Time Players

One fall to a finish. For reasons I don’t want to know, the Prime Time Players are defending. New Day, still heels, offer to explain hip hop to the Brooklyn fans. We immediately get the New Age Outlaws strategy with Big E. trying to pin Kofi but only getting two. Instead it’s Kofi headlocking Cara down before Sin monkey flips his partner onto Kofi for two.

That means it’s time for Big E. who takes a Tajiri handspring into an enziguri. Young comes in to face Cara and things get WAY faster with neither guy being able to get anywhere before it’s a stalemate. Darren reaches over to get Kofi and gets a splash on the back from Big E. Los Matadores steal the advantage and hit a slingshot hilo for two on Darren. The yet to be named Unicorn Stampede gives New Day control again as Woods lists off their favorite breakfast foods. You can see the cereal schtick coming from here.

Kofi chinlocks Young for a bit before Big E. grabs a dancing abdominal stretch. Big E. hits a clothesline and Woods loses his mind shouting about tricep meat. Woods: “YOU CAN’T EVEN GET A HAMBURGER IN WWE BECAUSE BIG E. HAS THE MARKET CORNERED ON TRICEP MEAT!!!” Darren finally knocks Kofi away and makes the hot tag off to Titus for the house cleaning.

Everything breaks down and the masked men start with all their dives. El Torito’s double springboard dive is caught in midair by Woods (Torito really is small) so Young belly to back suplexes Xavier on the apron, only to have Big E. hit his spear through the ropes. He’s going to kill himself with that one day. Back in and Titus powerbombs the Dragons in the Tower of Doom, followed by the Clash of the Titus to Fernando. That brings Kofi back in to kick Titus in the face though and Big E. steals the pin on Fernando to get the titles back at 11:20.

Rating: B-. This started slowly with the normal problem of too many bodies at once but as usual it went away once they started tagging. The problem continues to be how weak the division is though as you have three middling teams and then the awesome New Day who was just begging to turn face at this point. It was clearly their time and there was no other option than to put the titles back on them here. Somehow they still hold the belts heading into the following Summerslam which just doesn’t happen these days.

New Day goes INSANE celebrating with Big E.’s hips defying gravity and Kofi bouncing around the match on his back.

Jon Stewart brags to Neville and Stephen Amell (celebrity here for a match) about being friends with Undertaker. The lights go out and Undertaker (or someone who looks a lot like him) walks past. The bragging quickly ends.

We recap Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler. Rusev threw Lana out so she hooked up with Ziggler while Rusev hooked up with Summer Rae. This led to several blonde catfights but tonight it’s the guys fighting alone.

Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler goes right after him to start but misses a charge to go face first into the buckle. The Russian/Bulgarian (whatever he is this week) stomps away and we hit an early bearhug. The fans cheer for Lana as Ziggler is planted with a spinout Rock Bottom. Rusev’s gorilla press (in case you thought Dolph was doing it) is countered into a DDT and it’s time for the running clotheslines required for all face comebacks.

For some reason Rusev goes up top with Ziggler faceplanting him down for two more. A sunset flip gives Dolph two and he grabs the sleeper but Rusev uses the powers of THIS ISN’T 1982 to escape. Dolph joins the twentieth century with a Fameasser for a near fall but walks into the jumping superkick to the arm. The Accolade goes on but Lana slaps Summer to distract Rusev into breaking the hold. The guys join them on the floor as Lana gets the loudest chant of the night. Rusev gets superkicked onto the announcers’ table and it’s a double countout at 11:49.

Rating: C. This was an extended Raw match with a non-finish. Lana definitely came off as the biggest star here, which is why they dropped her face push because of a wrist injury and TMZ reporting that she and Rusev were engaged. Naturally WWE had ABSOLUTELY NO CHOICE but to acknowledge this on Raw and punish her as a result. I’m in the small group that likes this story though some of that is due to Lana in her outfits.

Another catfight ensues.

We recap Stephen Amell/Neville vs. Stardust/King Barrett. Neville and Stardust had been doing a comic book inspired feud between a hero and a villain. One night Stardust shoved Amell (the star of the Green Arrow TV show) and a tag match was made with Barrett joining in due to having nothing else to do.

Stephen Amell/Neville vs. Stardust/King Barrett

Stephen comes out in his Arrow hood but wrestles in regular black shorts. Barrett gets hit in the face to start so Stardust comes in to face Neville instead. Stardust wants Amell though and Stephen gets a pretty good pop as he flips over the top to come in. A shove sends Stephen down so he nips up and knocks Stardust up against the ropes for a surprise. It’s off to Barrett who easily takes over on Amell. As odd as it is to see the celebrity getting beaten up, Neville has to be the one coming in to clean house when we get to the hot tag.

Amell finally gets in an enziguri and dives over for the tag to Neville. The rapid fire kicks set up the middle rope Phoenix Splash on Barrett but Stardust makes the save. The villains are sent to the floor and Stephen dives off the top onto both of them for the big spot of the match. Back in and the Red Arrow finishes Barrett at 7:34.

Rating: C+. Of course that’s on a sliding scale as Amell has no idea what he’s doing here and was just doing whatever he could. It’s not exactly a huge star out there but it fit the story well enough. Unfortunately Barrett takes the fall here, despite Stardust being the main bad guy in the whole thing.

Look at WWE taking over Brooklyn.

Intercontinental Title: Ryback vs. The Miz vs. Big Show

Ryback is defending and the other two have both taken shots at the title. Miz takes sanctuary on the floor but comes back in to try a double suplex on Big Show. Yeah I think you know what’s coming there, especially when you notice that Show would have broken his back on the turnbuckle if they had suplexed him from there.

They really need to find a way to stop telegraphing that kind of thing. Show actually hits a middle rope swanton (well forward roll) onto Ryback before chopping Miz in the corner. Ryback takes out Show’s knee and plants Miz with a powerslam for two. That’s enough being on defense for Show as he chokeslams Ryback onto Miz but the KO Punch is countered with a spinebuster. It was a bit sloppy but what can you expect when it’s to someone Big Show’s size?

The Shell Shock plants Show but Miz runs in with the Skull Crushing Finale for two on the champ. Miz covers both of them twice each but it only serves to tick Ryback out. Shell Shock is broken up with the KO and Miz makes ANOTHER save. Another KO drops Miz but Ryback clotheslines Show to the floor and steals the pin on Miz to retain at 5:34. Cole: “CLASSIC TRIPLE THREAT MATCH!” Oh shut up.

Rating: C+. This was just a Raw match but they kept things moving well enough that I was entertained throughout. It wasn’t anything we haven’t seen before but I liked Ryback copying Miz’s strategy to keep the title. Ryback was getting somewhere with the title and could have been something special if they hadn’t dropped him yet again. It’s no wonder he left less than a year later.

Jon Stewart goes to see Brock but gets cut off by Heyman. Stewart says wrestling fans were disappointed in the Streak ending and no one remembers the person who broke perfection. Heyman is probably happy to see the fans all crushed and destroyed like that because he likes giving coal to kids on Christmas morning. Paul sings about the glory of Lesnar in response. I’m with Heyman here. The Streak was amazing and will never be duplicated but it’s ridiculous to say it can never be broken no matter what because fans would be sad. Sometimes evil wins and there’s nothing that can be done about it.

Wyatt Family vs. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose

Harper and Wyatt here. Bray targeted Reigns earlier in the summer and Roman was tired of getting beaten up so he got some help. It’s almost weird to see Reigns coming through the crowd instead of the entrance. Cole flat out says the feud isn’t ending tonight because it’s going to go on and on. Ambrose bulldogs Harper to start so Bray comes in, only to get punched in the mouth.

A suicide dive takes Bray down again and it’s already a wild brawl. Reigns dives over Ambrose to clothesline Harper in a cool spot before Ambrose runs all three tables to take out Bray as well. Things settle down with the Shield guys taking turns on Harper. Dean’s top rope elbow gets two but a Bray distraction lets Harper get a shot in. Roman goes after him but Harper suicide dives onto Roman, only to have Dean take them both out with another dive.

Harper kicks Dean in the face and Bray drops the backsplash to really take over for the first time. Bray gets creative with a suplex through the ropes to the floor. Back to Harper for something like a Crossface as Reigns is STILL down on the floor a good three and a half minutes after that beatdown. The referee stops to look at something in the corner as a ROMAN’S SLEEPING chant starts up.

Dean finally hits the rebound lariat as Reigns gets back on the apron for the hot tag. Him being down on the floor that long really didn’t mean anything but it’s not something that looks good, especially given some of the stuff Reigns has been laughed at before. A superkick and Batista Bomb plant Reigns but Bray spends too much time going up and gets Superman Punched. Dean plays Hawk in a Doomsday Device and the DoubleBomb plants Harper. Dirty Deeds and a spear put Bray down at 10:56.

Rating: B. That should wake the crowd up a bit. Other than Reigns’ latest nap, this was a good old fashioned fight with both teams looking awesome throughout. That being said, I’m so glad the feud is going to keep going after Reigns just pinned Bray. It should be the blowoff but why blow it off when you can just keep going with even more matches?

We recap John Cena vs. Seth Rollins in a title for title match with Cena narrating a video about how tough New Yorkers are. The video is a cool look at all the venues in and around New York City as it’s almost always about Madison Square Garden. A few weeks ago Rollins broke Cena’s nose in a NASTY looking injury so Cena is after revenge and to end Rollins’ joke (Cena’s description) of a title reign. He’s right to be fair as Rollins basically bowed down to HHH as often as he could and was getting squashed by Brock the previous month to make him look like a loser.

WWE World Title/US Title: Seth Rollins vs. John Cena

Winner take all. The JOHN CENA SUCKS song is out in full swing here as the people just do not like Cena. Rollins comes out in white, albeit with lines painted on that makes it look like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle shell. The fans are all over Cena again and it’s Rollins hitting a dropkick to take over and giving Cena You Can’t See Me. Oh yeah he’s the face in this match and everyone knows it. Cena grabs a belly to belly and we hit the chinlock less than two minutes in.

Rollins comes right back by sending Cena to the floor for back to back suicide dives and a big flip dive over the top. Back in and Cena’s finishing sequence is broken up with a headlock takeover but the second ProtoBomb works a bit better. Rollins is still able to break up the Shuffle but Cena comes back with a HORRIBLE springboard Stunner, basically making it look like he was reaching for Seth’s wrist instead of the neck. I think he retired it after this show and you can’t blame him after how bad that looked. Rollins comes back with double knees to the chest and a standing shooting star for two.

Cena is sat on top and then tied into the Tree of Woe for Alberto Del Rio’s top rope double stomp (which Seth makes look much better) for another near fall. Back up and the first AA connects for two and we’re not even nine minutes into the match. You think they might be trying a bit too hard?

They do the big slugout until Cena catapults him into the corner to set up a faceplant for another near fall. They’re certainly doing some different stuff tonight and it helps a lot. What doesn’t help is the announcers acting like this is the main event of Wrestlemania and that it’s been going on for half an hour instead of ten minutes. That’s not even a Raw main event yet.

Seth is right back in it by breaking up a super AA attempt and hitting a great looking frog splash. Rollins rolls through a crossbody and hits his own AA to an even bigger face pop. Back up and Rollins misses the Phoenix Splash, only to flip out of the AA. The Pedigree doesn’t work either and it’s Cena grabbing a Figure Four because RIC FLAIR.

Rollins reverses but Cena makes the ropes and goes up top with Rollins running the ropes for a superplex into the falcon’s arrow for a near fall. That really should be the finish but of course it’s only good for two. Another Phoenix Splash misses and Cena grabs another AA but the referee gets bumped. With Cena demanding another ref, Rollins hits the jumping knee to the face and here’s Jon Stewart with a chair. Both guys get up and Stewart gives Cena a shot to the ribs, setting up a Pedigree on the chair to give Rollins the US Title at 19:25.

Rating: B+. This was on the way to being a classic but the Stewart ending was a bad choice when Rollins and Stewart had been feuding for months. The explanation was that Jon didn’t want Cena to tie Flair’s record because IT’S RIC FLAIR! I’m fine with Cena not getting the title back as him wanting the US Title back made it seem all the more important. Unfortunately it also made the WWE World Title look horrible because Rollins had to lose to drop that title. But hey, Jon Stewart right?

WWE Network ad.

Pre-show panel chat and they have to talk over a THANK YOU STEWART chant.

We recap the Divas Revolution which means STEPHANIE TIME! For anyone who doesn’t get my obsessive hatred of almost all things Stephanie, this was my breaking point. For weeks, Paige had dealt with the Bellas and their numbers advantage with the idea being she would need help. Say, with the arrival of some friends from NXT?

Well that’s what happened, but only because Stephanie came out and announced they (as in Charlotte, Sasha Banks and Becky Lynch) were here. For some reason Stephanie put them into three women teams and a feud was started “for superiority”. Yeah superiority instead of the story they had spent months building up. But whatever. Story telling isn’t what’s important. It’s all about putting Stephanie, that pioneer of women’s wrestling, in the story so she gets credit for the (very) cool moment.

Team B.A.D. vs. Team Bella vs. Team PCB

B.A.D. – Sasha Banks, Naomi, Tamina Snuka

Bella – Nikki Bella, Brie Bella, Alicia Fox

PCB – Paige, Charlotte, Becky Lynch

This is under elimination rules, meaning the a single fall eliminates an entire team, making the match far less interesting from the start. Brie and Becky start things off as we hear about the history of Summerslam being in the New York area. Becky is sent into the ropes for a running knee to the face (with Brie shouting TEAM BELLA instead of BRIE MODE, which may or may not be worse) but Tamina tags herself in to superkick Becky in the jaw.

Sasha comes in to a very nice reaction….and she’s back out in less than five seconds. It’s Naomi coming in despite almost no one caring about her whatsoever. The fans want Sasha so she’s back in, gets rolled up for two, and is back out in about thirty seconds. They head outside with Charlotte saving Sasha with a spear to Tamina, only to have Naomi and Sasha hit (well less so in Sasha’s case) flip dives.

The Bellas hit suicide dives, which Cole incorrectly calls something new. Paige and Alicia fight on the top until Paige knocks her off and dives onto everyone at once. Back in and Brie hits a super facebuster on Tamina for the elimination, taking a lot of the life away from the crowd who wanted to see Sasha. That’s being pretty greedy though as Sasha was in the match for at least 50 seconds.

Nikki hits a quick Rack Attack on Becky for no cover as Paige and Charlotte drag their partner back to the corner. A fall away slam sends Nikki to the floor but she Paige takes too long following her out, meaning it’s an Alabama Slam on the outside. Back in and a double flapjack plants Paige, setting up a Brie chinlock. The YES Kicks are countered into a rollup for two but Fox comes back in to work on a double arm crank.

Now the fans will settle for Charlotte as Paige gets double suplexed for two. A running knee to Fox finally allows the hot tag to Charlotte as the crowd FINALLY wakes up a bit. Everything breaks down with Nikki having to save Alicia from the Figure Eight. A double big boot drops Charlotte and Fox so it’s off to Becky vs. Brie but BRIE MODE misses, setting up a pumphandle suplex to pin Brie at 15:17.

Rating: C. Well that happened. It didn’t revolutionize anything, it didn’t change anything, it didn’t accomplish anything and it annoyed the fans when Sasha was eliminated in about five minutes. But hey, Stephanie got a focus in the pre-match video and Nikki gets a step closer to vanquishing AJ from the pages of the WWE record books. That’s all that matters right?

Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens

This started over the two of them wanting to face Cena for the US Title. Owens is coming in after a brutal ladder match last night at Takeover: Brooklyn. They slug it out to start with Owens sending him to the floor for a flip dive. Owens spends too much time jawing at Cole though and it’s Cesaro running back inside for a corkscrew plancha of his own. The Uppercut Train takes too long though and Cesaro is sent into the barricade to set up a cannonball.

The backsplash gets two inside and we hit the chinlock on Cesaro. A torture rack neckbreaker gives Owens two more and it’s time for a second chinlock. The powers of the OLE chants bring Cesaro back to life though and he knocks Owens into the corner to set up that weird modified Angle Slam for two. Cesaro’s gutwrench superplex gets two but Owens throws him down a few seconds later, only to miss a double springboard moonsault.

A superkick gets Owens out of trouble but the springboard corkscrew uppercut drops him again. The Swing sets up Cesaro’s Sharpshooter with Owens only a few feet from the ropes for the quick break. Both guys go up for something but Cesaro gets crotched and superplexed to set up the Pop Up Powerbomb for the pin at 14:17.

Rating: B. You knew this was going to be good with these two on this stage. They kind of had to give Owens the win here after he lost in his NXT farewell last night but it’s still not good to have Cesaro lose here either. That’s the problem with the way they book their midcarders: they’re bounced around so much with wins and losses all over the place that a loss on a big stage really cripples them all over again. At least the match was good.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker. Of course Brock broke the Streak at Wrestlemania XXX and Undertaker disappeared for a long time. Then Undertaker returned at Battleground 2015 to cost Lesnar the WWE World Title to set up this match. They actually billed this as being too big for Wrestlemania which was a good line, though I’m not sure how many people actually believed it.

Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker

Lesnar is actually smart enough to attack at the bell and I can’t believe no one else has ever thought of that before. Undertaker comes back with a boot to the face and Brock is sent outside as it’s time for the brawl to begin. The bell rings and Brock double legs him down, only to have Undertaker hit him in the face to take over. The dueling UNDERTAKER/SUPLEX CITY chants start up and Old School is countered into an F5 but Undertaker slips off the shoulders.

It’s Suplex City time though, or at least it would be until Undertaker sends him face first into the middle turnbuckle. A big boot puts Brock on the floor and draws some blood from his forehead. Back in and the chokeslam is countered with another German suplex so Brock cracks a smile. They head outside again and there’s an F5 to send Undertaker through the table.

Somewhere in there Brock got busted open much worse and stands in the ring with another smile on his face. Undertaker slowly crawls back in with Brock telling Undertaker that he’s going to kill him. Undertaker: “YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO!” That earns Brock a chokeslam (and a great selling job) and a Tombstone for a close two. Both guys are down until Brock sits up and laughs.

Undertaker does the situp and mocks Lesnar’s laughing so, while still on the mat, they just PUNCH EACH OTHER IN THE FACE OVER AND OVER. Brock gets the better of it and takes him into the corner for the Kimura on the second rope. Of course that’s not a DQ or even a count from the referee because that’s not what the story calls for, meaning Undertaker has to Last Ride him out for two.

The second F5 gets two and the second gets the same as I continue to hate how much WWE lets people kick out of finishers. I know it’s a big match but at what point does a finisher become just another move that someone uses? Both guys are spent but Undertaker pulls him into the Hell’s Gate. That’s reversed into the Kimura and the bell rings for the big surprise submission. Not so fast though as the referee waves it off, allowing Undertaker to hit Lesnar low and put on the Hell’s Gate again. Lesnar flips Undertaker off and passes out for the submission/knockout at 17:10.

Rating: B+. That ending (which we’ll come back to in a minute) brings down an otherwise great old school power brawl. Undertaker teasing a heel turn to get the big win is a big stretch as he reached bulletproof legend status well over ten years ago. I get the story they’re going for and it’s not bad, but the low blow wasn’t really necessary here.

The important thing here though was Undertaker hurt Brock. You can have Lesnar be the Beast and maul people but at some point someone has to be able to hurt him or there’s no point in bringing him out. Look at what he did to Ambrose at Wrestlemania XXXII or Rollins at Battleground 2015. It stops being entertaining and starts being the Brock Lesnar Show, which doesn’t do anyone any good but him. This was different though, and that’s a good thing.

We get a replay oh yes Undertaker does tap out. So yeah, it’s a screwy ending for the sake of setting up a rematch, just like in the other main event. That’s not a bright idea at any show, especially the second biggest of the year. Heyman declares Brock the winner via submission to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This is a really strong show with nothing bad and a bunch of good matches but the top two are ruined by the horrible booking choices. Above all else though, this show was ruined by the length. This show runs nearly three and three quarter hours with a lot of stuff that could have been cut.

I mean, was anyone needing Rusev and Ziggler to go ten minutes or a sixteen minute Divas three way? It’s a good example of a show that could have been trimmed quite a bit for its own good, which unfortunately is a recurring trend these days. This was a very good show otherwise but it’s not exactly memorable and that hurts it a bit.

Ratings Comparison

Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Prime Time Players vs. New Day vs. Los Matadores vs. Lucha Dragons

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: C

Redo: C

Stephen Amell/Neville vs. King Barrett/Stardust

Original: B+

Redo: C+

The Miz vs. Big Show vs. Ryback

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose vs. Wyatt Family

Original: C+

Redo: B

John Cena vs. Seth Rollins

Original: B+

Redo: B+

Team Bella vs. Team PCB vs. Team B.A.D.

Original: C-

Redo: C

Kevin Owens vs. Cesaro

Original: B-

Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: B+

Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

That original overall rating is probably a bit high as I liked almost everything more the second time around. Being able to watch this in pieces instead of in a straight sitting helps it a lot.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/08/23/summerslam-2015-a-long-long-very-long-summer/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Summerslam 2015
Date: August 23, 2015
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 15,702
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

This show was only a year ago and I barely remember anything about it save for the two main events. It really is amazing that these shows have just stopped standing out aside from Wrestlemania. Unfortunately we’re at the point where Summerslam is now a regular four hour show because three hours of pay per view plus five hours of TV a week and a two hour NXT show the night before this just isn’t enough. Let’s get to it.

Thankfully there was no pre-show match so we can get straight to the regular show. When you have three hours and forty four minutes on pay per view, you really don’t need an eight minute warmup match.

Here’s host Jon Stewart to open things up. Stewart hypes up the crowd and says it’s nice to be back in reality after spending sixteen years talking about politics. The WWE superstars respects their audience and they’re all ready to thrill this crowd. Jon lists off some names appearing on the show and of course Reigns and Cena are loudly booed. He’s not over the Streak being broken yet and is here to talk to Brock face to face about defeating the Undertaker.

Stewart isn’t crazy though and has brought some backup in the form of Mick Foley. Mick comes out and reminds Stewart that he only has one ear and thought Jon said he wanted to talk to ROCK. Stewart: “Are you telling me that the great Mick Foley is afraid of Brock Lesnar?” Foley: “Jon that’s exactly what I’m telling you!”

Stewart brings up the Cell match against Undertaker and calls it inspirational. Foley agrees that it was inspirational but also reminds Jon that IT WAS SEVENTEEN YEARS AGO. Mick has never been to Suplex City and he’s not starting tonight so he’s out of here. Stewart says on with the show to end this moderately funny bit. Above all else though, Stewart is clearly a huge fan and that helps so much in something like this. It felt like he’s here because it’s something he’s always wanted to do instead of just something he’s doing to promote a movie or whatever.

Opening video focuses on New York City (of course) and then goes into the main events.

I forgot how annoying that “We Cool For The Summer” song can be.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

This is fallout from Sheamus attacking Orton when Orton had the WWE World Title won, leading to a failed Money in the Bank cash-in attempt by the pale one. Cole: “Speaking of Money in the Bank, Randy Orton has had a great career right here at Summerslam.” Eventually he gets around to tying that together by saying Orton cashed in his briefcase two years ago but that’s not the best statement to start out with.

The fans tell Sheamus that he looks stupid and he has to bail from a very early RKO attempt. Actually Sheamus grabs the mic and gets on the announcers’ table to say the fans look stupid, not him. Orton is willing to fight on the floor but Sheamus takes him down with a clothesline. Sheamus actually hits a top rope knee drop for a rare sight. The slow beating continues with Sheamus stopping to adjust the mohawk.

A chinlock doesn’t last long so Sheamus takes him right back down and puts on another chinlock. Randy finally comes back with a clothesline and the backbreaker, followed by a suplex over the top and out to the floor. Back in and Sheamus gets two off a powerslam to set up a modified Cloverleaf. That’s escaped as well (because other than Chris Jericho, heels can’t win with submissions) and Orton hits the elevated DDT.

Sheamus gets the ten forearms to the chest but slingshots right into the RKO. Orton has to throw him back inside though and that means it’s time for the Punt. Yeah don’t even bother at this point as I don’t think anyone buys it as a real threat. Instead White Noise gets two, followed by back to back Brogue Kicks for the pin on Orton at 12:24.

Rating: C+. This was a longer version of a Raw match with a surprisingly clean ending. You kind of expect Sheamus to lose here but Orton losing instead was a nice change of pace. The problem is these two really don’t have a ton of chemistry and they were just kind of trading moves until the finish.

Some fans won a contest from Draftkings.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Lucha Dragons vs. Los Matadores vs. Prime Time Players

One fall to a finish. For reasons I don’t want to know, the Prime Time Players are defending. New Day, still heels, offer to explain hip hop to the Brooklyn fans. We immediately get the New Age Outlaws strategy with Big E. trying to pin Kofi but only getting two. Instead it’s Kofi headlocking Cara down before Sin monkey flips his partner onto Kofi for two.

That means it’s time for Big E. who takes a Tajiri handspring into an enziguri. Young comes in to face Cara and things get WAY faster with neither guy being able to get anywhere before it’s a stalemate. Darren reaches over to get Kofi and gets a splash on the back from Big E. Los Matadores steal the advantage and hit a slingshot hilo for two on Darren. The yet to be named Unicorn Stampede gives New Day control again as Woods lists off their favorite breakfast foods. You can see the cereal schtick coming from here.

Kofi chinlocks Young for a bit before Big E. grabs a dancing abdominal stretch. Big E. hits a clothesline and Woods loses his mind shouting about tricep meat. Woods: “YOU CAN’T EVEN GET A HAMBURGER IN WWE BECAUSE BIG E. HAS THE MARKET CORNERED ON TRICEP MEAT!!!” Darren finally knocks Kofi away and makes the hot tag off to Titus for the house cleaning.

Everything breaks down and the masked men start with all their dives. El Torito’s double springboard dive is caught in midair by Woods (Torito really is small) so Young belly to back suplexes Xavier on the apron, only to have Big E. hit his spear through the ropes. He’s going to kill himself with that one day. Back in and Titus powerbombs the Dragons in the Tower of Doom, followed by the Clash of the Titus to Fernando. That brings Kofi back in to kick Titus in the face though and Big E. steals the pin on Fernando to get the titles back at 11:20.

Rating: B-. This started slowly with the normal problem of too many bodies at once but as usual it went away once they started tagging. The problem continues to be how weak the division is though as you have three middling teams and then the awesome New Day who was just begging to turn face at this point. It was clearly their time and there was no other option than to put the titles back on them here. Somehow they still hold the belts heading into the following Summerslam which just doesn’t happen these days.

New Day goes INSANE celebrating with Big E.’s hips defying gravity and Kofi bouncing around the match on his back.

Jon Stewart brags to Neville and Stephen Amell (celebrity here for a match) about being friends with Undertaker. The lights go out and Undertaker (or someone who looks a lot like him) walks past. The bragging quickly ends.

We recap Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler. Rusev threw Lana out so she hooked up with Ziggler while Rusev hooked up with Summer Rae. This led to several blonde catfights but tonight it’s the guys fighting alone.

Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler goes right after him to start but misses a charge to go face first into the buckle. The Russian/Bulgarian (whatever he is this week) stomps away and we hit an early bearhug. The fans cheer for Lana as Ziggler is planted with a spinout Rock Bottom. Rusev’s gorilla press (in case you thought Dolph was doing it) is countered into a DDT and it’s time for the running clotheslines required for all face comebacks.

For some reason Rusev goes up top with Ziggler faceplanting him down for two more. A sunset flip gives Dolph two and he grabs the sleeper but Rusev uses the powers of THIS ISN’T 1982 to escape. Dolph joins the twentieth century with a Fameasser for a near fall but walks into the jumping superkick to the arm. The Accolade goes on but Lana slaps Summer to distract Rusev into breaking the hold. The guys join them on the floor as Lana gets the loudest chant of the night. Rusev gets superkicked onto the announcers’ table and it’s a double countout at 11:49.

Rating: C. This was an extended Raw match with a non-finish. Lana definitely came off as the biggest star here, which is why they dropped her face push because of a wrist injury and TMZ reporting that she and Rusev were engaged. Naturally WWE had ABSOLUTELY NO CHOICE but to acknowledge this on Raw and punish her as a result. I’m in the small group that likes this story though some of that is due to Lana in her outfits.

Another catfight ensues.

We recap Stephen Amell/Neville vs. Stardust/King Barrett. Neville and Stardust had been doing a comic book inspired feud between a hero and a villain. One night Stardust shoved Amell (the star of the Green Arrow TV show) and a tag match was made with Barrett joining in due to having nothing else to do.

Stephen Amell/Neville vs. Stardust/King Barrett

Stephen comes out in his Arrow hood but wrestles in regular black shorts. Barrett gets hit in the face to start so Stardust comes in to face Neville instead. Stardust wants Amell though and Stephen gets a pretty good pop as he flips over the top to come in. A shove sends Stephen down so he nips up and knocks Stardust up against the ropes for a surprise. It’s off to Barrett who easily takes over on Amell. As odd as it is to see the celebrity getting beaten up, Neville has to be the one coming in to clean house when we get to the hot tag.

Amell finally gets in an enziguri and dives over for the tag to Neville. The rapid fire kicks set up the middle rope Phoenix Splash on Barrett but Stardust makes the save. The villains are sent to the floor and Stephen dives off the top onto both of them for the big spot of the match. Back in and the Red Arrow finishes Barrett at 7:34.

Rating: C+. Of course that’s on a sliding scale as Amell has no idea what he’s doing here and was just doing whatever he could. It’s not exactly a huge star out there but it fit the story well enough. Unfortunately Barrett takes the fall here, despite Stardust being the main bad guy in the whole thing.

Look at WWE taking over Brooklyn.

Intercontinental Title: Ryback vs. The Miz vs. Big Show

Ryback is defending and the other two have both taken shots at the title. Miz takes sanctuary on the floor but comes back in to try a double suplex on Big Show. Yeah I think you know what’s coming there, especially when you notice that Show would have broken his back on the turnbuckle if they had suplexed him from there.

They really need to find a way to stop telegraphing that kind of thing. Show actually hits a middle rope swanton (well forward roll) onto Ryback before chopping Miz in the corner. Ryback takes out Show’s knee and plants Miz with a powerslam for two. That’s enough being on defense for Show as he chokeslams Ryback onto Miz but the KO Punch is countered with a spinebuster. It was a bit sloppy but what can you expect when it’s to someone Big Show’s size?

The Shell Shock plants Show but Miz runs in with the Skull Crushing Finale for two on the champ. Miz covers both of them twice each but it only serves to tick Ryback out. Shell Shock is broken up with the KO and Miz makes ANOTHER save. Another KO drops Miz but Ryback clotheslines Show to the floor and steals the pin on Miz to retain at 5:34. Cole: “CLASSIC TRIPLE THREAT MATCH!” Oh shut up.

Rating: C+. This was just a Raw match but they kept things moving well enough that I was entertained throughout. It wasn’t anything we haven’t seen before but I liked Ryback copying Miz’s strategy to keep the title. Ryback was getting somewhere with the title and could have been something special if they hadn’t dropped him yet again. It’s no wonder he left less than a year later.

Jon Stewart goes to see Brock but gets cut off by Heyman. Stewart says wrestling fans were disappointed in the Streak ending and no one remembers the person who broke perfection. Heyman is probably happy to see the fans all crushed and destroyed like that because he likes giving coal to kids on Christmas morning. Paul sings about the glory of Lesnar in response. I’m with Heyman here. The Streak was amazing and will never be duplicated but it’s ridiculous to say it can never be broken no matter what because fans would be sad. Sometimes evil wins and there’s nothing that can be done about it.

Wyatt Family vs. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose

Harper and Wyatt here. Bray targeted Reigns earlier in the summer and Roman was tired of getting beaten up so he got some help. It’s almost weird to see Reigns coming through the crowd instead of the entrance. Cole flat out says the feud isn’t ending tonight because it’s going to go on and on. Ambrose bulldogs Harper to start so Bray comes in, only to get punched in the mouth.

A suicide dive takes Bray down again and it’s already a wild brawl. Reigns dives over Ambrose to clothesline Harper in a cool spot before Ambrose runs all three tables to take out Bray as well. Things settle down with the Shield guys taking turns on Harper. Dean’s top rope elbow gets two but a Bray distraction lets Harper get a shot in. Roman goes after him but Harper suicide dives onto Roman, only to have Dean take them both out with another dive.

Harper kicks Dean in the face and Bray drops the backsplash to really take over for the first time. Bray gets creative with a suplex through the ropes to the floor. Back to Harper for something like a Crossface as Reigns is STILL down on the floor a good three and a half minutes after that beatdown. The referee stops to look at something in the corner as a ROMAN’S SLEEPING chant starts up.

Dean finally hits the rebound lariat as Reigns gets back on the apron for the hot tag. Him being down on the floor that long really didn’t mean anything but it’s not something that looks good, especially given some of the stuff Reigns has been laughed at before. A superkick and Batista Bomb plant Reigns but Bray spends too much time going up and gets Superman Punched. Dean plays Hawk in a Doomsday Device and the DoubleBomb plants Harper. Dirty Deeds and a spear put Bray down at 10:56.

Rating: B. That should wake the crowd up a bit. Other than Reigns’ latest nap, this was a good old fashioned fight with both teams looking awesome throughout. That being said, I’m so glad the feud is going to keep going after Reigns just pinned Bray. It should be the blowoff but why blow it off when you can just keep going with even more matches?

We recap John Cena vs. Seth Rollins in a title for title match with Cena narrating a video about how tough New Yorkers are. The video is a cool look at all the venues in and around New York City as it’s almost always about Madison Square Garden. A few weeks ago Rollins broke Cena’s nose in a NASTY looking injury so Cena is after revenge and to end Rollins’ joke (Cena’s description) of a title reign. He’s right to be fair as Rollins basically bowed down to HHH as often as he could and was getting squashed by Brock the previous month to make him look like a loser.

WWE World Title/US Title: Seth Rollins vs. John Cena

Winner take all. The JOHN CENA SUCKS song is out in full swing here as the people just do not like Cena. Rollins comes out in white, albeit with lines painted on that makes it look like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle shell. The fans are all over Cena again and it’s Rollins hitting a dropkick to take over and giving Cena You Can’t See Me. Oh yeah he’s the face in this match and everyone knows it. Cena grabs a belly to belly and we hit the chinlock less than two minutes in.

Rollins comes right back by sending Cena to the floor for back to back suicide dives and a big flip dive over the top. Back in and Cena’s finishing sequence is broken up with a headlock takeover but the second ProtoBomb works a bit better. Rollins is still able to break up the Shuffle but Cena comes back with a HORRIBLE springboard Stunner, basically making it look like he was reaching for Seth’s wrist instead of the neck. I think he retired it after this show and you can’t blame him after how bad that looked. Rollins comes back with double knees to the chest and a standing shooting star for two.

Cena is sat on top and then tied into the Tree of Woe for Alberto Del Rio’s top rope double stomp (which Seth makes look much better) for another near fall. Back up and the first AA connects for two and we’re not even nine minutes into the match. You think they might be trying a bit too hard?

They do the big slugout until Cena catapults him into the corner to set up a faceplant for another near fall. They’re certainly doing some different stuff tonight and it helps a lot. What doesn’t help is the announcers acting like this is the main event of Wrestlemania and that it’s been going on for half an hour instead of ten minutes. That’s not even a Raw main event yet.

Seth is right back in it by breaking up a super AA attempt and hitting a great looking frog splash. Rollins rolls through a crossbody and hits his own AA to an even bigger face pop. Back up and Rollins misses the Phoenix Splash, only to flip out of the AA. The Pedigree doesn’t work either and it’s Cena grabbing a Figure Four because RIC FLAIR.

Rollins reverses but Cena makes the ropes and goes up top with Rollins running the ropes for a superplex into the falcon’s arrow for a near fall. That really should be the finish but of course it’s only good for two. Another Phoenix Splash misses and Cena grabs another AA but the referee gets bumped. With Cena demanding another ref, Rollins hits the jumping knee to the face and here’s Jon Stewart with a chair. Both guys get up and Stewart gives Cena a shot to the ribs, setting up a Pedigree on the chair to give Rollins the US Title at 19:25.

Rating: B+. This was on the way to being a classic but the Stewart ending was a bad choice when Rollins and Stewart had been feuding for months. The explanation was that Jon didn’t want Cena to tie Flair’s record because IT’S RIC FLAIR! I’m fine with Cena not getting the title back as him wanting the US Title back made it seem all the more important. Unfortunately it also made the WWE World Title look horrible because Rollins had to lose to drop that title. But hey, Jon Stewart right?

WWE Network ad.

Pre-show panel chat and they have to talk over a THANK YOU STEWART chant.

We recap the Divas Revolution which means STEPHANIE TIME! For anyone who doesn’t get my obsessive hatred of almost all things Stephanie, this was my breaking point. For weeks, Paige had dealt with the Bellas and their numbers advantage with the idea being she would need help. Say, with the arrival of some friends from NXT?

Well that’s what happened, but only because Stephanie came out and announced they (as in Charlotte, Sasha Banks and Becky Lynch) were here. For some reason Stephanie put them into three women teams and a feud was started “for superiority”. Yeah superiority instead of the story they had spent months building up. But whatever. Story telling isn’t what’s important. It’s all about putting Stephanie, that pioneer of women’s wrestling, in the story so she gets credit for the (very) cool moment.

Team B.A.D. vs. Team Bella vs. Team PCB

B.A.D. – Sasha Banks, Naomi, Tamina Snuka

Bella – Nikki Bella, Brie Bella, Alicia Fox

PCB – Paige, Charlotte, Becky Lynch

This is under elimination rules, meaning the a single fall eliminates an entire team, making the match far less interesting from the start. Brie and Becky start things off as we hear about the history of Summerslam being in the New York area. Becky is sent into the ropes for a running knee to the face (with Brie shouting TEAM BELLA instead of BRIE MODE, which may or may not be worse) but Tamina tags herself in to superkick Becky in the jaw.

Sasha comes in to a very nice reaction….and she’s back out in less than five seconds. It’s Naomi coming in despite almost no one caring about her whatsoever. The fans want Sasha so she’s back in, gets rolled up for two, and is back out in about thirty seconds. They head outside with Charlotte saving Sasha with a spear to Tamina, only to have Naomi and Sasha hit (well less so in Sasha’s case) flip dives.

The Bellas hit suicide dives, which Cole incorrectly calls something new. Paige and Alicia fight on the top until Paige knocks her off and dives onto everyone at once. Back in and Brie hits a super facebuster on Tamina for the elimination, taking a lot of the life away from the crowd who wanted to see Sasha. That’s being pretty greedy though as Sasha was in the match for at least 50 seconds.

Nikki hits a quick Rack Attack on Becky for no cover as Paige and Charlotte drag their partner back to the corner. A fall away slam sends Nikki to the floor but she Paige takes too long following her out, meaning it’s an Alabama Slam on the outside. Back in and a double flapjack plants Paige, setting up a Brie chinlock. The YES Kicks are countered into a rollup for two but Fox comes back in to work on a double arm crank.

Now the fans will settle for Charlotte as Paige gets double suplexed for two. A running knee to Fox finally allows the hot tag to Charlotte as the crowd FINALLY wakes up a bit. Everything breaks down with Nikki having to save Alicia from the Figure Eight. A double big boot drops Charlotte and Fox so it’s off to Becky vs. Brie but BRIE MODE misses, setting up a pumphandle suplex to pin Brie at 15:17.

Rating: C. Well that happened. It didn’t revolutionize anything, it didn’t change anything, it didn’t accomplish anything and it annoyed the fans when Sasha was eliminated in about five minutes. But hey, Stephanie got a focus in the pre-match video and Nikki gets a step closer to vanquishing AJ from the pages of the WWE record books. That’s all that matters right?

Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens

This started over the two of them wanting to face Cena for the US Title. Owens is coming in after a brutal ladder match last night at Takeover: Brooklyn. They slug it out to start with Owens sending him to the floor for a flip dive. Owens spends too much time jawing at Cole though and it’s Cesaro running back inside for a corkscrew plancha of his own. The Uppercut Train takes too long though and Cesaro is sent into the barricade to set up a cannonball.

The backsplash gets two inside and we hit the chinlock on Cesaro. A torture rack neckbreaker gives Owens two more and it’s time for a second chinlock. The powers of the OLE chants bring Cesaro back to life though and he knocks Owens into the corner to set up that weird modified Angle Slam for two. Cesaro’s gutwrench superplex gets two but Owens throws him down a few seconds later, only to miss a double springboard moonsault.

A superkick gets Owens out of trouble but the springboard corkscrew uppercut drops him again. The Swing sets up Cesaro’s Sharpshooter with Owens only a few feet from the ropes for the quick break. Both guys go up for something but Cesaro gets crotched and superplexed to set up the Pop Up Powerbomb for the pin at 14:17.

Rating: B. You knew this was going to be good with these two on this stage. They kind of had to give Owens the win here after he lost in his NXT farewell last night but it’s still not good to have Cesaro lose here either. That’s the problem with the way they book their midcarders: they’re bounced around so much with wins and losses all over the place that a loss on a big stage really cripples them all over again. At least the match was good.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker. Of course Brock broke the Streak at Wrestlemania XXX and Undertaker disappeared for a long time. Then Undertaker returned at Battleground 2015 to cost Lesnar the WWE World Title to set up this match. They actually billed this as being too big for Wrestlemania which was a good line, though I’m not sure how many people actually believed it.

Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker

Lesnar is actually smart enough to attack at the bell and I can’t believe no one else has ever thought of that before. Undertaker comes back with a boot to the face and Brock is sent outside as it’s time for the brawl to begin. The bell rings and Brock double legs him down, only to have Undertaker hit him in the face to take over. The dueling UNDERTAKER/SUPLEX CITY chants start up and Old School is countered into an F5 but Undertaker slips off the shoulders.

It’s Suplex City time though, or at least it would be until Undertaker sends him face first into the middle turnbuckle. A big boot puts Brock on the floor and draws some blood from his forehead. Back in and the chokeslam is countered with another German suplex so Brock cracks a smile. They head outside again and there’s an F5 to send Undertaker through the table.

Somewhere in there Brock got busted open much worse and stands in the ring with another smile on his face. Undertaker slowly crawls back in with Brock telling Undertaker that he’s going to kill him. Undertaker: “YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO!” That earns Brock a chokeslam (and a great selling job) and a Tombstone for a close two. Both guys are down until Brock sits up and laughs.

Undertaker does the situp and mocks Lesnar’s laughing so, while still on the mat, they just PUNCH EACH OTHER IN THE FACE OVER AND OVER. Brock gets the better of it and takes him into the corner for the Kimura on the second rope. Of course that’s not a DQ or even a count from the referee because that’s not what the story calls for, meaning Undertaker has to Last Ride him out for two.

The second F5 gets two and the second gets the same as I continue to hate how much WWE lets people kick out of finishers. I know it’s a big match but at what point does a finisher become just another move that someone uses? Both guys are spent but Undertaker pulls him into the Hell’s Gate. That’s reversed into the Kimura and the bell rings for the big surprise submission. Not so fast though as the referee waves it off, allowing Undertaker to hit Lesnar low and put on the Hell’s Gate again. Lesnar flips Undertaker off and passes out for the submission/knockout at 17:10.

Rating: B+. That ending (which we’ll come back to in a minute) brings down an otherwise great old school power brawl. Undertaker teasing a heel turn to get the big win is a big stretch as he reached bulletproof legend status well over ten years ago. I get the story they’re going for and it’s not bad, but the low blow wasn’t really necessary here.

The important thing here though was Undertaker hurt Brock. You can have Lesnar be the Beast and maul people but at some point someone has to be able to hurt him or there’s no point in bringing him out. Look at what he did to Ambrose at Wrestlemania XXXII or Rollins at Battleground 2015. It stops being entertaining and starts being the Brock Lesnar Show, which doesn’t do anyone any good but him. This was different though, and that’s a good thing.

We get a replay oh yes Undertaker does tap out. So yeah, it’s a screwy ending for the sake of setting up a rematch, just like in the other main event. That’s not a bright idea at any show, especially the second biggest of the year. Heyman declares Brock the winner via submission to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This is a really strong show with nothing bad and a bunch of good matches but the top two are ruined by the horrible booking choices. Above all else though, this show was ruined by the length. This show runs nearly three and three quarter hours with a lot of stuff that could have been cut.

I mean, was anyone needing Rusev and Ziggler to go ten minutes or a sixteen minute Divas three way? It’s a good example of a show that could have been trimmed quite a bit for its own good, which unfortunately is a recurring trend these days. This was a very good show otherwise but it’s not exactly memorable and that hurts it a bit.

Ratings Comparison

Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Prime Time Players vs. New Day vs. Los Matadores vs. Lucha Dragons

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: C

Redo: C

Stephen Amell/Neville vs. King Barrett/Stardust

Original: B+

Redo: C+

The Miz vs. Big Show vs. Ryback

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose vs. Wyatt Family

Original: C+

Redo: B

John Cena vs. Seth Rollins

Original: B+

Redo: B+

Team Bella vs. Team PCB vs. Team B.A.D.

Original: C-

Redo: C

Kevin Owens vs. Cesaro

Original: B-

Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: B+

Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

That original overall rating is probably a bit high as I liked almost everything more the second time around. Being able to watch this in pieces instead of in a straight sitting helps it a lot.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/08/23/summerslam-2015-a-long-long-very-long-summer/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania XXXII
Date: April 3, 2016
Location: AT&T Stadium, Arlington, Texas
Attendance: 101,763
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

We had to get here again at some point. I sat in the stadium last year for the better part of seven hours watching this show and was pretty entertained for the most part. However, since then I’ve thought back on it a few times and it seems to go all downhill from there. I’m not sure what to expect from this one other than it’s going to take a few days to get through. Let’s get to it.

As we get ready for the pre-show matches, the place might be 10% full at this point as there was some confusion in opening the gates. There were no lines and it was just a sea of humanity trying to get inside.

Pre-Show: Ryback vs. Kalisto

Kalisto, in some ceremonial bird headpiece, is defending and this is your standard bully vs. smaller guy feud. It’s such a weird visual to see people coming to the ring with so few fans in the seats. I’m not sure if it’s going to make a difference but I expect a three part podcast from Ryback about how unfair it was to his career. We get the big staredown to show the match’s story and to show off Ryback’s new trunks.

Ryback plants him off a headlock and easily throws the champ outside. Kalisto gets in a quick bulldog for two but the kickout sends him outside. Some double knees to the chest get the same result and Ryback gets to show off by gorilla pressing Kalisto up the steps and back inside. We take a break and come back with Kalisto taking a hard elbow to the jaw for two.

A running sitout powerslam (kind of like a Michinoku Driver) gets the same and it’s time to slap at the mask. I know Ryback had some issues but he did seem to be trying to mix things up on offense. He deserves credit for trying at least and it’s true that he had some unfair breaks. I just can’t imagine it was as bad as he made it seem.

A delayed superplex is countered into a crossbody for two and the Shell Shock is countered into a quick DDT. The corkscrew crossbody gets two but Ryback plants him again. Kalisto goes to the corner and pulls a turnbuckle pad off. I’m sure you can piece the next step together but in case you’re a bit slow, Ryback goes head first into the buckle and the Salida Del Sol retains the title at 8:57.

Rating: C. Despite the surprise when the title didn’t change hands, this was a snappy little match with the power vs. speed working quite well. Kalisto is the kind of guy who can perform well against anyone and Ryback’s power was a perfect foil. Ryback is still one of the more interesting what if’s in recent years but it’s pretty clear that the guy isn’t all there sometimes, which can make for some messy negotiations.

Team Total Divas vs. Team B.A.D. and Blonde

Total Divas: Natalya, Brie Bella, Paige, Alicia Fox, Eva Marie

B.A.D. and Blonde: Naomi, Lana, Summer Rae, Tamina, Emma

Yes this story is still happening for reasons I’m sure you can figure out for yourself. If nothing else, Wrestlemania is an excuse to see Brie’s legs, which you don’t get for the rest of the year. This is Lana’s only main roster match to date and uh…..yeah this works. Fox elbows the heck out of Summer to start and a sloppy tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two. We get the big ten Diva staredown and it’s off to a break because the pre-show is basically Raw.

Back from a break with Eva getting booed out of the stadium and suplexing Emma. A hard tag brings in Natalya and it’s off to Naomi for the dancing kicks. Paige comes in to play Bret to Natalya’s Neidhart (that must have made her smile) on a Hart Attack. It’s back to Emma for a wheelbarrow suplex on Paige before Lana is brought in to the pop of the match so far. Some good looking kicks drop Paige and we hear some trash talk with nothing resembling an accent.

Brie tries to come in so Lana mocks the YES chant in a nice touch. Tamina grabs a chinlock as the rapid tags continue (that’s all you can expect in something like this). A Tower of Doom is teased but instead Paige dives onto a bunch of the women at ringside. Back in and Emma stomps on Paige in the corner but a rollup sends Emma’s head into the buckle.

The hot tag brings in Brie to clean house and it’s time for the parade of secondary finishers. Naomi: “FEEL MY GLOW!!!” By that she means barely get grazed by a split legged moonsault and have Lana shoves Brie off the top. Not that it matters as Brie gets a good looking roll into the YES Lock to make Naomi tap at 11:26.

Rating: D+. Yeah the match was a mess but there’s only so much you can put on the wrestling here. With so many people and so many of them being there as eye candy, there’s only so much they can do. This is the last night for the old Divas style with people being able to use the most basic moves but mainly being there for the sake of their looks. There are FAR worse versions of this match though and this was actually fine for the circumstances.

Post match Nikki Bella comes out in her neck brace in what is supposed to be some big moment.

Usos vs. Dudley Boyz

The Dudleys are heels and refusing to use tables. It’s a brawl to start with the non-brothers cleaning house as the crowd is really filling in now. D-Von cranks on Jimmy’s neck and it’s off to Bubba for some trash talk about Rikishi. The snap punches take too long though and Jimmy gets in a superkick, setting up the hot tag to Jey. Everything breaks down and Jey takes What’s Up. Bubba calls for the tables but again takes too long, earning a double superkick. 3D is broken up as well and Jey superkicks D-Von for the pin at 5:20.

Rating: D+. Another nothing match here as we’re just getting ready for the big show and getting this stuff out of the way. You easily could have cut this match off and no one was going to notice it, especially with so little time. The Dudleys were fine at putting people over but did the Usos really need a win like this? Nothing to see here and it really could have been cut as a way to take some of the time off the main show.

Post match the Dudleyz load up some tables but get splashed through them instead. Cool visual if nothing else.

Fifth Harmony sings a very nice rendition of America the Beautiful.

The opening video focuses on the history of Wrestlemania and how it’s never been bigger than this. Various legends and legendary moments are shown, as they certainly should be. This transitions into a preview of tonight’s show, including the matches and of course a focus on the Rock’s unspecified role. Nothing out of the ordinary here but as is usually the case with these things, WWE really knows how to make these things look great. Also of note: Kelsey Grammer of all people narrates this.

I’m not a fan of his but Flo Rida’s My House is one of the catchiest theme songs they’ve had in years.

Inter-continental Title: Kevin Owens vs. The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder vs. Stardust vs. Sin Cara vs. Sami Zayn

Owens is defending and this is a ladder match. Originally there were just four people involved but the match fell through with Stephanie making a triple threat for the title shot. That match went to a no contest so LET’S JUST THROW EVERYONE INTO THE MESS OF A MATCH. And people wonder why this title isn’t treated as anything important anymore. Sami gets a very nice pop here but Owens’ blows it away, making him the big crowd favorite.

On the other hand, Stardust (in Dusty polka dots) and Sin Cara come out to near silence, which isn’t exactly the biggest surprise. Finally, Ryder gets to hear his music played at Wrestlemania for the first time ever, which really is a cool moment. Ryder: “I’VE BEEN WAITING MY WHOLE LIFE FOR THIS!!!”

Everyone drops to the floor to start and it’s Owens left alone in the ring. As you might expect, Sami comes in with a ladder and it’s time for the Wrestlemania slugout that you know means the world to them. Kevin gets the better of it and cleans house with the ladder until Cara gets in a ladder shot of his own to take over. Ryder neckbreakers Stardust onto the ladder and Miz throws a different ladder over the top and onto Cara.

Sami and Ziggler knock Miz’s ladder over and there’s the Blue Thunder Bomb, which thankfully doesn’t have to go through the motions of a near fall. Back in and Owens backdrops Sami onto a ladder. Kevin: “THIS IS KO MANIA! GO BACK TO NXT!” Ziggler and Ryder go up but Stardust makes a save to put both guys down again. Cara does the same to Stardust and it’s Sami vs. Miz in the ring.

That doesn’t last long either as Sami dives through a ladder to take out four people at once, followed by the diving tornado DDT on Owens. Cara gets shoved off the ladder but lands on the top rope into a springboard onto another pile of people. Ziggler starts the superkick party so JBL can talk about Shawn Michaels.

Owens comes back in and it’s a double superkick to put everyone down. Stardust pulls out the polka dotted ladder (The Exo Atmospheric Starbird Mark II. I’d call it Larry.) and spins it around his head, only to get caught in a Skull Crushing Finale onto said ladder. Now it’s Sami back in but charging into Kevin’s boot in the corner. A frog splash onto Sami onto a ladder bridged onto the bottom rope crushes everyone (JBL: “That’s the biggest frog I’ve ever seen.”).

Ryder doesn’t quite one up him with the Elbro off another ladder to crush Miz but it still looked cool. I’m not sure why there weren’t more flashbulbs going off either as it was quite the highspot. Ziggler faceplants Ryder off the ladder and comes up favoring his knee. The delay lets Owens powerbomb Ziggler off the ladder and Cara kicks Stardust onto a ladder bridged between the apron and the barricade.

Cara hits the big dive to put Stardust through the ladder, leaving Owens and Zayn to slug it out above the ring. Sami gets the better of it and hits the half and half suplex to drop Owens head first into a ladder (sick looking landing). That lets Sami go up until Miz shoves him over but this time Miz takes too long going up, earning himself a big shove off from Ryder, who climbs the ladder for the huge upset at 15:24.

Rating: B. It’s a fun match and the spots were great but…..RYDER??? I mean…..HE’S ZACK RYDER! As is so often the case, there were too many people in here with guys like Cara and Stardust just being there to add more bodies to the thing. Cut this down to four people (five max) and it’s WAY better but that might mean the title is treated a bit more seriously and we can’t have that. I still think this was supposed to be Neville’s spot until he broke his ankle but it doesn’t really matter.

Ryder’s dad comes in to celebrate with him for a really cool moment.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho. They traded some wins and then formed a short lived team (Y2AJ) but Jericho turned on him when they lost. Jericho was jealous over the AJ STYLES chants and wanted the respect for himself. It’s actually a solid feud and one of the matches people wanted to see, though I could have gone with not having the same match three times before.

AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho drives him into the corner to start and the AJ STYLES chants are already going nice and strong. Styles gets in a hurricanrana and a snappy armdrag before sending Jericho outside. That should mean a slingshot dive but Jericho dropkicks him out of the air to take over. Back in and a neckbreaker sets up a dragon sleeper for a change of pace.

AJ tries to fight back but gets pulled down into the Walls for some good old fashioned ASK HIM/AHHHH exchanges. A rope is grabbed so AJ can hit the moonsault into a reverse DDT for two. Both guys head to the corner for a super sitout gordbuster and one heck of a crash. The Pele is countered into a Walls attempt but AJ reverses that into the Calf Crusher.

The Styles Clash is broken up and a Codebreaker gets a delayed two (with Cole making sure to say the near fall was due to the delay in a nice touch). For a change of pace, Jericho loads up AJ for the Styles Clash but gets planted face first for two instead. A rollup exchange sets up the real Styles Clash for two and the springboard 450 gets the same. With nothing else left, AJ heads to the apron and loads up the Phenomenal Forearm, only to have Jericho shove the referee away and catch Styles with the Codebreaker for the pin at 17:08.

Rating: B. Another long match here with an interesting choice for the ending. I know Jericho went on to have one of the best years of his career but at this point he’s just Jericho and Styles hasn’t even been in the company for three months yet. This continues to feel like booking for the sake of the surprise, which is almost never a good thing. Still though, would you expect anything other than very good from these two for seventeen minutes?

Maria Menunos interviews Zack Ryder and talks about getting to take a picture with Razor Ramon and his Intercontinental Title when he was a kid. Tonight though, he and Ramon are taking a picture with RYDER’S Intercontinental Title. I’m not sure if that’s a better line than waiting your whole life for this but Ryder is nailing it tonight.

New Day vs. League of Nations

New Day comes out in a huge box of BootyO’s which tips over….to reveal them in Dragon Ball Z costumes, complete with a tail on Woods. This was originally a Tag Team Title match but was changed to a handicap match before switching to a six man (Sheamus/Alberto Del Rio/Rusev for the League with King Barrett in the corner) for no apparent reason. I mean, other than having New Day lose or something crazy like that. Also, make no mistake about it: New Day was by FAR the most popular merchandise choice of the weekend. You would see that blue shirt all over Dallas and nothing was anywhere near as common.

Kofi and Sheamus start things off as we hear about New Day holding the titles for over 200 days. Somehow they’re not even at the halfway point. Sheamus gets taken down into the corner for the Unicorn Stampede and Woods starts in with some tromboning. Xavier comes in and gets beaten down as JBL has the nerve to compare these two to the Freebirds and the Horsemen.

Sheamus gets in the forearms to the beat of NEW DAY SUCKS and it’s off to Rusev for a running flip senton. Woods sends Del Rio to the floor in a big crash but Sheamus is over there to takes New Day off the apron in a smart move. Not that it matters as Kofi gets the hot tag a few seconds later and house is cleaned again. Trouble in Paradise is broken up and Rusev adds a kick to the head of his own for two.

The fans try to get an UP UP DOWN DOWN chant going and Big E. tags himself in for some suplexes. The spear through the ropes takes out Sheamus, Rusev and Barrett but it does the same to Big E., who thankfully didn’t break his neck. Back in and Woods drops a top rope double stomp for two on Sheamus. Del Rio makes a save and hits a scary double stomp off the apron to crush Kofi. That leaves Woods alone to take the Bull Hammer from Barrett to give Sheamus the pin at 10:02.

Rating: D+. Ok they’re trolling us now right? The League of Nations is one of the most worthless stables in a LONG time and they’re beating one of the most over groups in recent memory? I know it’s designed to set up the post match shenanigans but there are multiple ways to do the same thing without beating New Day. It’s even worse when you consider the group was split less than a month later.

Post match Barrett says there are no three men who can beat them. Cue Shawn Michaels (nearly causing the wife to jump out of the upper deck), Mick Foley and Steve Austin (he’s a bit too big of a star for this group) for the beatdown. The moment is cool but Cole talking about how great of a moment this is feels so stupidly forced. Anyway, house is quickly cleaned (and apparently Austin further injures his already destroyed shoulder in the process). New Day gets back in and dancing ensues with Shawn and Steve getting into it…..until it’s a Stunner for Woods. Beer is quickly consumed.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Dean Ambrose. Lesnar is the Beast and needs someone to fight him so Dean was like “eh I’ll do it.” This led to one heck of a beatdown so Ambrose was given some weapons by various hardcore legends (barbed wire bat from Foley and a chainsaw from Terry Funk) because this is a no holds barred street fight.

Dean Ambrose vs. Brock Lesnar

Anything goes and Heyman gives Brock a big, over the top intro. JBL gives us a good example of trying to be too smart by calling Lesnar a former NWA Champion (assuming he means NCAA), which of course he never won. Brock hits the first suplex inside of ten seconds and the huge video screen above the ring kept count (It had been all over the place all night with unicorns for the New Day and various three camera shot replays. In other words, it was annoying in a hurry.).

We hit the third German suplex forty five seconds in and Ambrose is on the floor. A few kendo stick shots annoy Lesnar so he rolls two more suplexes. Brock breaks the stick over his knee and there’s number six. Ambrose can barely move so he gives the referee a thumbs up and there are numbers seven and eight before we’re even five minutes into the match. Dean slaps him in the face….and gets suplexed again.

With nothing else to do, Lesnar offers Dean a free shot with the stick, which Brock then stands on. That earns him a low blow (Ambrose: “THAT’S HILARIOUS!”) and now the stick shots work a bit better. Dean goes outside and finds a chainsaw (Heyman’s eyes bug out) but that means a tenth suplex. A laptop off Lesnar’s face allows Dean to chair him a few times, only to have Brock run the ropes for a belly to belly superplex. Dean’s next trick is a fire extinguisher blast to the face followed by some lame chair shots to the ribs.

A dropkick to send the chair into Lesnar’s face works a bit better and the top rope chair drop gets two. For some reason Dean throws in about ten chairs, which he then goes sailing over off another German suplex. The F5 is countered into a DDT onto (or close to) a chair for two. Now it’s time for the barbed wire baseball bat but it’s another German suplex onto the chairs. An F5 onto them is enough to put Dean away at 12:50.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t as bad as I remember it but they made it very clear that Ambrose wasn’t on Lesnar’s level or really close to it for that matter. There’s only so much you can do when Lesnar is out there doing nothing but suplexes (other than those and an F5, I actually can’t think of anything else he did in the match) and Dean ran into that problem here. This could have been a lot worse but a little more offense from Ambrose would have been appreciated.

Ric Flair teaches Ryder how to Woo but it turns out to be a Snickers commercial. Ryder takes a bite….and turns into Charlotte. Yeah I don’t get it either but I think Charlotte is the new Intercontinental Champion.

Hall of Fame time with a pretty good class:

Godfather (So completely out of place here.)

Stan Hansen (How was he not in already?)

Big Boss Man (That’s perfectly fine.)
Jacqueline (Fine, just don’t let her talk.)

Joan Lunden (Warrior Award, which seems to have been forgotten this year.)

Fabulous Freebirds (You could argue they were the headliners.)

Snoop Dogg (Harmless. Not exactly PG but harmless.)

Sting (Only entrance and the loudest reaction.)

We go back to the Kickoff Show with Lita unveiling the new WOMEN’S Title (meaning the Divas era is finally over). Oh and remember that this is completely different than the original Women’s Title, meaning it actually has its own lineage.

We recap the Women’s Title match with a really cool WWE Network themed video. It’s a search for Women’s Champions which shows some famous names before a Women’s Revolution search brings up the three of them (with Stephanie’s screeching narration of course). This gets the music video treatment, which it actually deserves.

Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte

The title is officially vacant coming in though Charlotte never lost the Divas Title. Banks has Snoop Dogg (her real life cousin) rap her to the ring, which should guarantee her winning the title here. She also has Eddie Guerrero inspired gear and actually looks better in the tights than the trunks. Charlotte (still wearing the Divas Title) has Ric Flair in her corner and debuts the blue gear, with the robe being made from the robe Flair wore in his final match. That’s a very good thing as she rocks the heck out of that outfit. Lita is holding the new title and after the Big Match Intros we’re ready to go.

Everyone trades rollups to start in a fast and pretty athletic sequence until Charlotte kicks Becky in the face. That earns a nice round of applause and you can tell the women are ready tonight. A hurricanrana sends Charlotte across the ring and Sasha throws in an Eddie dance. They botch (not bad) a sunset flip/German suplex spot before Charlotte it sent outside, leaving Sasha to elbow Becky in the face.

Charlotte pulls Sasha outside though and gives her something like a wheelbarrow suplex onto the apron. Back in and Becky (with a lot of eye makeup) grabs an arm trap reverse DDT for two on Charlotte and we hit the cross armbreaker. Flair gets on the apron like a good pop though and it’s time for the Figure Four. That also means that it’s time for Sasha to come in with a frog splash for the save.

Becky grabs something like a Rock Bottom for two on Charlotte and rolls Sasha up for the same. In the first big spot of the match, Sasha dives through the ropes to flip onto Charlotte (possibly catching her foot on the ropes but it didn’t seem to change much). Becky TAKES OUT FLAIR, drawing one of the biggest pops of the night. With Becky and Sasha staggered, Charlotte goes up top and moonsaults onto both of them (looked sweet) for maybe the biggest spot in the history of women’s wrestling.

Back in and double Natural Selection gets a double near fall, much to Charlotte and Ric’s collective frustration. Charlotte loads Sasha up into an electric chair but Becky comes in with a missile dropkick for two on Sasha. The Disarm-Her has Charlotte in trouble until Sasha makes the save with the Bank Statement.

That brings Charlotte back in with the Figure Four on Banks, which is upgraded into the Figure Eight until Becky pulls them to the ropes. Charlotte spears Banks down but gets taken to the top for one heck of a superplex. Banks gets up and goes for the Bank Statement, only to be sent outside so Charlotte can grab the Figure Eight (with Flair holding Banks’ foot) to make Becky tap at 16:08.

Rating: A-. Match of the night so far by a good stretch and pretty easily the best women’s match ever on the main roster to date. There were a few botches here and there but the idea that three women could have a match on par with if not exceeding a lot of the better men would have been unthinkable just a few years ago. Great stuff here and FAR better than I think anyone could have hoped for (save for the logical Banks title win of course).

Charlotte poses and gets some pyro to really make this special.

You know, we’re about two hours and twenty minutes into this show and it’s on pace to be one of the best shows ever. I know there are some booking issues but other than a nothing six man (with a really fun post match segment), nothing has been bad and even that match was fine. However, there are four matches left and nearly TWO AND A HALF HOURS left in the show. I think I know where things are going to start going downhill.

The Cell is lowered for the 33^rd time in WWE history. That stat kind of pulls things back a bit no?

We recap Shane McMahon vs. Undertaker and it’s time for this show to start to unravel. So Shane came back in January and talked about how Vince and Stephanie had ruined everything. There was something about a lockbox with evidence of Vince doing something bad (never specified) and Shane threatened to open it if he didn’t get to run Raw (which he said basically meant WWE). Vince decided to put it up in a match with Shane facing Undertaker in the Cell. Undertaker’s Wrestlemania career was put on the line and that’s about it for anyone buying this as anything serious.

At the end of the day, it’s really, REALLY hard to believe that Undertaker was in any real danger against Shane, who hadn’t wrestled a single match in seven years. It’s kind of hard to buy this as a competitive match, but there’s a very good chance that this was supposed to be John Cena instead of Shane but injuries derailed the plans (a major problem all night). To their credit, this match led to something like tens of thousands of tickets being sold in a hurry so it was definitely a draw and worthy of this kind of a push.

Shane McMahon vs. Undertaker

Inside Hell in a Cell. Shane does the high energy entrance and brings his kids out to dance to the ring with him as Shane Bucks fall from the ceiling in a cool moment. Apparently Shane wants to take Undertaker’s cardio, which you know Shane has in droves due to, you know, everything that works against him. Some right hands have no effect on Undertaker so he punches Shane down with one shot. Remember: best pure striker ever in WWE, which you can add to the list of reasons this should be a squash.

Snake Eyes into the big boot have Shane reeling but he gets Undertaker to chase him and stomps away. That earns him a throw into the cage wall and the apron legdrop as this is total dominance in the first five minutes. The Last Ride gets two and the match is instantly a complete mess at 5:32. I’m sorry but there’s no way I can buy this no matter what WWE wants to tell me. That move has beaten World Champions but SHANE MCMAHON, in his mid 40s and seven years removed from his last match, kicks out of it after getting beaten up? Just….no, period.

Undertaker grabs the steps but gets pulled into a weak triangle choke. That’s countered into a chokeslam onto the steps for another two as Shane is suddenly the offspring of Super Cena and Hulk Hogan. Undertaker misses an elbow onto the steps so Shane sits on them and teases Undertaker into a drop toehold onto said steps. I don’t buy Undertaker as being that stupid, nor do I buy the cover that follows.

Shane punches him in the face off the situp so Undertaker gets him in the Hell’s Gate, which Shane reverses into a Sharpshooter. You know, because anyone can survive THREE UNDERTAKER FINISHERS IN TWELVE MINUTES. Undertaker easily powers out so Shane punches him into the corner, which is totally enough to have Undertaker in trouble. Coast to Coast into a trashcan gets two and Shane grabs….boltcutters.

He cuts the Cell open but Undertaker tackles him through the wall and onto the announcers’ table. A monitor to the head looks to set up a Tombstone onto the table but Shane reverses into a sleeper. That’s reversed with a backwards crash through the table as this is getting even more ridiculous. A toolbox to the head puts Undertaker on a table…..and Shane climbs the Cell.

The big elbow completely misses (because it would have killed Undertaker) and you can see the crash pad deflate as Shane lands. Cole: “FOR THE LOVE OF MANKIND!” It was a terrifying spot live but now it’s much more silly than anything else, which isn’t the point in a match like this. Then again this stopped being anything serious or really interesting as soon as the Last Ride only got two so it’s a moot point. Shane says bring it again so Undertaker carries him inside for the Tombstone and the pin at 30:06.

Rating: D-. WAY too long here with a match that should have been a glorified squash (which this was) that ran only about half this long. The idea that Shane could hang in there with Undertaker under these or any circumstances (including a bunch of run-ins, which never happened), is a combination of insulting and stupid.

It’s a ridiculous story (both the buildup and the match itself) and a terribly dull match with one big spot not being able to make up for anything. This was more fun live but GOOD NIGHT it does not hold up. Cut it down to twenty minutes at most and this is much better but as it is, this is horrible. On top of that, allegedly Shane was supposed to win until Undertaker shot it down, which he certainly should have done. The show has hit a major wall now and it’s going to need something special to bring them out.

Shane is taken out on a stretcher as the announcers brag about how awesome he is, which is why a lot of people don’t like seeing Shane wrestle. Yeah he’ll do a bunch of stuff but he gets WAY more credit and praise than he deserves. Shane gives a thumbs up on the way out.

Reason #1 this show crashed so hard: from the time the Cell was lowered to the time we cut away from Shane: 50:43. That’s a lot of time to spend on something that…..bleh.

The pre-show panel chats for a bit.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Fandango, Damien Sandow, Shaquille O’Neal, Big Show, Viktor, Diamond Dallas Page, Konnor, Tatanka, Jack Swagger, R-Truth, Goldust, Curtis Axel, Baron Corbin, Adam Rose, Heath Slater, Tyler Breeze, Mark Henry, Bo Dallas, Darren Young, Kane

O’Neal is a surprise, or as much of one as you can be when his face popped up on the big screen during the other entrances. We get the big staredown between Shaq and Show but they have to stop and double chokeslam Kane. Everyone else is sent outside (none eliminated) until Fandango comes in and gets eliminated. Sandow (POP) does the same and is eliminated as well, allowing everyone else to come in and eliminate Shaq and Show. Somehow, that means we NEED to see them at Wrestlemania the next year, despite almost no one asking to see it. Everyone stands around until Page hits the Diamond Cutter on Viktor and tosses him with ease.

Konnor gets rid of Page a few seconds later as this is already pretty dull stuff. The yet to be official Golden Truth eliminates Konnor and Tatanka goes on a warpath that no one was asking for. Corbin tosses Tatanka to no reaction and Kane backdrops Swagger out. The Social Outcasts of all people clean house and get rid of Goldust and Truth. We get a victory lap until Kane and Corbin get rid of Rose and Axel.

We’re down to Corbin, Kane, Young, Breeze, Henry and Dallas with Kane chokeslamming Baron. Henry comes back in after being on the floor for six minutes to eliminate Slater and Breeze to get us down to five. Kane and Young (the oddest couple until….Young and Bob Backlund I guess) get rid of Henry before Kane dumps Dallas and Young. Corbin sneaks in from behind though and eliminates Kane to win at 9:43 and set off the NXT chants.

Rating: D. This was your annual “hey we still have jobs” battle royal but for once they let someone have the win to elevate them up the card. Corbin hits the ground running and odds are he’s going to be challenging for the Intercontinental Title at next year’s show. That’s how you introduce a star and it worked very well. The battle royal itself didn’t though with too many dead spots, but at least they kept the pace up after the first year’s was over thirteen minutes and last year’s was over eighteen.

Wrestlemania XXXIII is in Orlando.

Here are the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders to perform, which is never a bad thing. They’re followed by something that’s a bit more hit or miss: Rock’s annual Wrestlemania appearance. This time it’s a bit different though because he has a FLAMETHROWER. He lights a ROCK sign on fire and this eats up even more time on a show already over three and a half hours long with the main event to go.

After the long entrance and some standing around, Rock FINALLY says his first words nearly eight minutes after the cheerleaders started. We get some crowd praising and talk of Rock babies as there’s a loud echo on everything Rock says (kind of cool because of just how big the place is) and the new attendance record of 101,763 is announced. Yeah I know it’s probably not quite that high and much like in 1987, I really don’t care that much.

Rock says it’s about to get good…and we’ve got Wyatts. Thankfully this means we get the Fireflies in the stadium, which was one of the coolest visuals I’ve ever seen. It actually lit up the ring, which is pretty impressive for a bunch of phones. Bray introduces himself and says he chose Rock because Rock represents a lie. Rock is supposed to be the People’s Champion but this is Bray’s moment. He’s going to eviscerate Rock on the grandest stage of them all and the people have to watch.

Rock mocks the eviscerating line and thinks Bray has been hitting the bong. We get some jokes about Rowan and Strowman (Is this where Rock buried Bray? I never can tell with these things.) before Rock praises Bray for having it all (BURIAL! HE’S BURYING HIM! SOMEONE GET A SHOVEL TO HELP BRAY!) and getting 100,000 people on their feet. Rock accuses Bray of eating Hot Pockets but Bray says he’s here to kick the door down. However, Rock has an idea: let’s have a match! We get a referee and Rock says pick any Family member as he takes off the workout gear to reveal trunks.

The Rock vs. Erick Rowan

Rock Bottom, six seconds. Again, I saw this called Rock burying the Wyatts. You know, because people are worried about ERICK ROWAN needing protection.

The Family surrounds Rock and heeeere’s Cena for the save. House is cleaned, signature moves are hit and Rock welcomes Cena back (he would be back in about a month) to FINALLY end this, 28:15 after the cheerleaders came out (I’m keeping time for a reason in case you couldn’t tell).

It’s 11:03pm so let’s recap the main event. Roman Reigns was World Champion but HHH couldn’t get him to go corporate so it’s Austin vs. Vince again. HHH made Reigns defend the title in the Royal Rumble, which he of course entered and won to set up this match. People really weren’t all that interested but you knew this was going to happen several months back. You know, because THIS TIME FOR SURE it’s going to get Reigns over.

WWE World Title: Roman Reigns vs. HHH

HHH is defending and here’s Stephanie in what I think is a Mad Max look. It’s a closeup of her face in front of a barren wasteland as she talks about how this is their world and we’re all just living in it. Basically all hope is lost and we need to give up on this ridiculous belief that anyone can save us from the Authority.

Then an army of people in skull masks (NXT wrestlers with Enzo Amore at the front) carrying WWE Titles comes to the ring to set up HHH’s entrance where Stephanie gets to show off her legs. Again, just like the last two years, the big face gets to follow this rather cool (and over the top) HHH entrance. But hey, at least we get the annual HHH is Cool moment right?

As ridiculous (and as much as they’re begging the fans to boo them instead of Reigns) as this is, it’s NOTHING compared to the outright hatred that Reigns receives. The man is booed out of Texas and allegedly the audio had to be turned down in response. If that’s true…..I really wouldn’t be surprised.

Since these two can’t stand each other, they go to a headlock and armbar to start. The fans unload on Reigns when he shoulders HHH, only to get hiptossed to the floor. Back in and HHH works on the arm some more until Reigns shoves him into the corner for more incredible booing. A lockup goes nowhere as this is already starting to look like one of HHH’s disastrous main events.

Some hard forearms to the back of Reigns’ head put him down. The comeback is so soundly booed that it’s almost comical. A Stunner over the top rope sets up the apron dropkick for one on the champ. Stephanie offers a quick distraction so HHH can get in a low blow (FACE POP) and Reigns goes down again. HHH goes with some hard right hands to the face and the spinebuster gets two.

They head outside with HHH sending him face first into the announcers’ table (which he did a few weeks back to break Reigns’ nose). Another comeback is cut off and Reigns is thrown into the German announcers. Back in and Reigns uppercuts him out of the air and hammers away, only to have HHH bail from the Superman Punch. They trade whips into the steps until Reigns spears him through the barricade for almost no reaction. This is basically the same problem as HHH vs. Jericho in 2002: there’s no reason to believe the champ has a chance so there’s no reason to care until Reigns hits a spear in the ring.

Back in again and Reigns is holding his arm but HE’LL CONTINUE! And without a thirty minute nap like at the Rumble! Oh he’s got his working boots on tonight. HHH puts on a Fujiwara armbar of all things because the main event of Wrestlemania with a match that’s supposed to be based on hatred is built around a bad arm. See, when Daniel Bryan did that, it was entertaining. When Reigns is doing it, the fans are cheering the evil villain.

Reigns powers out of something like the Rings of Saturn but can’t knock the confetti off of HHH’s head. It’s back to the armbar until Reigns FINALLY gets the break with a powerbomb. That goes nowhere so WE HIT ANOTHER ARMBAR BECAUSE THIS MATCH NEEDS TO BE ALL LONG AND EPIC AND STUFF! Another powerbomb breaks the hold again but the spear is countered into a Pedigree which is countered into a backdrop to the floor.

The fans start singing to placate their boredom until the spear gets….no count because Stephanie pulls the referee out. Now Stephanie gets in to yell at the referee, earning herself a spear and turning Reigns into the biggest star in the world (for about thirty seconds). If my memory serves me right, she hasn’t taken a bump in nearly a year since then, or really had anything bad happen to her that lasted more than a day or two.

The Pedigree gives us the first hot near fall of the match and it’s the Superman Punch to drop HHH. The second spear is broken up with a knee and Stephanie hands HHH the sledgehammer (She took a spear less than four minutes ago so OF COURSE she’s capable of doing that. This woman is scary.). Not that it matters as another Superman Punch and the spear give Reigns the title back at 27:04.

Rating: D. And a lot of that is just for having the guts to go out there and do a match this boring in this spot on this show. This match was twelve minutes of HHH working on the arm and then getting into the main event style that went exactly where we knew it was going. The lack of drama or really anything interesting (save for that Stephanie spear) killed this and there was no recovering given how long the thing ran.

This needed to be about fifteen minutes shorter and we would have had the same result: Reigns winning and getting booed out of the building because people just don’t want to see him in this spot. There was a total lack of hatred and violence here and it really dragged things down, which is far too often the case for any given HHH match. It’s one of the worst Wrestlemania main events ever and there’s really no way around that.

A quick celebration sets up the traditional long music video to wrap things up.

Overall Rating: D. I can’t think of a single show that is so completely different from the first half to the second. The worst thing about the first few matches is the booking with the worst match being a somewhat dull six man tag. If you cut this off after the Women’s Title, this is one of the better pay per views I’ve seen in several years.

Then the Cell was lowered, kicking off the last “four” matches (counting Rock vs. Rowan) and the long segment. When you add up the Cell, the Rock segment and the main event, they all combined for over two hours. That’s two REALLY bad matches and a segment that went on far too long (but was entertaining at times) adding up to an episode of Smackdown. Clip off fifteen minutes from Shane vs. Undertaker (and another five from the intro/post match stuff), ten from Rock’s stuff (say, him playing with a flamethrower) and AT LEAST ten off the main event and this is instantly a less horrible show.

Unlike most pay per views, Wrestlemania is almost exclusively remembered for two to three matches more often than not. Therefore, it’s a major problem when your two main matches are long and rather horrible. It was hard to keep interest in this show even sitting in the stadium and that should not happen. There’s a lot of good stuff in the first half though and switching the order up would have helped out a lot. Unfortunately that’s completely the opposite of what they did as it was all stupid booking overshadowing the good and then REALLY bad stuff covering the rest of the show.

It’s easy to see why this show is remembered so poorly when the second half is just such a wreck. It felt like a huge way to have the fans get annoyed while WWE laughs and says “we’ve got all your money”. You shouldn’t leave Wrestlemania talking about how bad the show was when there was so much good going on. The bad completely outweighs the good here and there was no way anything else was going to be remembered. Awful show that lives down to its reputation.

Ratings Comparison

Zack Ryder vs. Stardust vs. Sin Cara vs. Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens vs. The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: B

Redo: B

AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

Redo: B

New Day vs. League of Nations

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Brock Lesnar vs. Dean Ambrose

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch vs. Sasha Banks

Original: B+

Redo: A-

Shane McMahon vs. Undertaker

Original: D

Redo: D-

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: D

Redo: D

The Rock vs. Erick Rowan

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

HHH vs. Roman Reigns

Original: D

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D

Oh yeah I was still feeling the in-person vibe when I watched this back the first time. A C- is WAY too generous.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2016/04/08/wrestlemania-xxxii-strap-yourselves-in-this-is-a-long-one/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

Summerslam 2015
Date: August 23, 2015
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s the second biggest show of the year and the main event is a match too big for Wrestlemania as Brock Lesnar faces the Undertaker, who is looking for revenge after Lesnar snapped his legendary streak a year and a half ago. Also it’s title for title with US Champion John Cena facing WWE World Champion Seth Rollins. Let’s get to it.

There was no match on the pre-show.

Here’s special host Jon Stewart to open things up. He talks about all the people who will be here for the ten matches (meaning the Tag Team Title match will be on the main show) and lists off the people on the card, with Lesnar getting one of the strongest reactions. Stewart isn’t over the Streak being broken so he’d like to talk to Brock about beating the Undertaker. However, since Stewart is a mere mortal, he’d like to have a friend there when he does so. That friend is Mick Foley, who comes out to stand by his friend.

However, there seems to be some confusion. See, Foley thought Stewart wanted help interviewing Rock, not Brock. Stewart brings up Undertaker destroying Foley in the Cell and how Foley shouldn’t be afraid of anything. Foley: “THAT WAS SEVENTEEN YEARS AGO!” Foley has wrestled around the world but never visited Suplex City and isn’t stating tonight so Stewart is on his own. Jon says on with the show.

The opening video talks about every city having a story. This city’s story is about making legends, which leads to your standard well done videos hyping up the double main event.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

Well they got to open the previous pay per view with a just ok match so maybe they can get all the way up to not bad here. The threat of an RKO sends Sheamus outside in the first ten seconds, just like it did on Smackdown. Sheamus gets on the announcers’ table to say the fans look stupid, not him. Orton comes out and sweeps Sheamus’ leg to move things along but Sheamus takes him down and drops a knee for two. Sheamus stomps him down and asks if the fans are not entertained. Fans: “NO!”

We hit the chinlock on Orton, drawing out HOW YO DOIN and OLE chants from the very vocal crowd. Randy fights to his feet and t-bones Sheamus out to the floor for a big crash. Back in and Sheamus tries a quick Cloverleaf but walks into a powerslam for two. Sheamus gets in a shot to the ribs and heads up top, only to have Randy pull him down with the DDT. Again the threat of an RKO sends Sheamus outside, but this time he’s able to grab Orton for the ten forearms to the chest.

Sheamus tries the slingshot shoulder but Orton catches him in midair in the RKO for a sweet counter. Since this match hasn’t dragged on long enough though, Sheamus rolls outside to keep things going. With the RKO not working well enough, Orton loads up the Punt, which almost never works but neither does this match so why not try it anyway? Sheamus catches him coming in with White Noise, followed by two Brogue Kicks for the pin at 12:11.

Rating: C-. The wrestling was the best these two have ever done but there’s one simple problem: I have no reason to care about any of this. These guys have been feuding for weeks but they’re still here for reasons I don’t get. Like, why is this feud continuing other than the script says it should? That’s bad writing and a problem that WWE has far too often. The main positive here: Sheamus won a big match completely clean. Now enjoy losing until like, Survivor Series.

Some fans won a contest and got to do cool stuff.

Tag Team Titles: Prime Time Players vs. New Day vs. Lucha Dragons vs. Los Matadores

The Prime Time Players are defending but New Day steals the show with their rendition of Jay Z’s New York, complete with some lyrics about how awful the rest of the teams are, unlike New day which rocks. One fall to a finish and you can tag yourself in. New Day tries the old New Age Outlaws play by tagging in both members (Kofi and Big E.) to pin each other but the Dragons make the save.

The Dragons come in with some fast double teaming followed by Kalisto kicking Big E. in the head over and over. It’s off to Darren vs. Kofi but Big E. splashes Young to put him in trouble. This match is incredibly fast paced so far. It’s Diego in to stay on Darren’s injured ribs but New Day makes their rapid tags to stomp Young in the corner. Woods rants about breakfast and the fans are behind New Day.

Kofi comes in for a chinlock to slow things down for the first time. It’s off to Big E. for the abdominal stretch, as Cole suggests that Woods tweet instead of talk. Cole: “He could use hashtag fatal four way.” Woods: “BIG E. HAS THE MARKET CORNED ON TRICEP MEAT! YOU CAN’T EVEN GET A HAMBURGER IN WWE!” As Woods keeps going about how entertaining this beating is, Darren finally escapes for the tag to Titus, who cleans all kinds of house.

Everything breaks down and Los Matadores are sent to the floor where Fernando dropkicks Sin Cara out of the air. Woods shoves Fernando off the top rope and faceplants Torito to a nice reaction from the fans. Darren drops Woods onto the apron but Big E. spears Young back to the floor. The Lucha Dragons’ double superplex to Diego is turned into a Tower of Doom by Titus, but Kofi sneaks in with a blind tag. The Clash of the Titus plants Fernando, but Big E. throws Titus outside so Kofi can pin Fernando for the titles at 11:20. Big E.’s dancing celebration makes this even better.

Rating: B-. I had a great time with this as they didn’t even try to keep this as a regular match and made the whole thing insane. Woods stole the show here though and sounded like a star. They’ve figured out the perfect formula for these guys and the idea of New Day getting to brag about being right is awesome. Good stuff here and the match that should have opened the show.

Jon Stewart is in the back with Stephen Amell and Neville. Stewart is a big fan but is really here for Undertaker, who passes by the three of them, silencing all three.

Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler

Lana left Rusev for Ziggler so Rusev injured Ziggler, triggering this match. Also Rusev has Summer Rae in his corner, who is now dressing as Lana. To counter, Lana is dressing like Ziggler. Got all that? Rusev starts fast and stomps Ziggler down before choking on the ropes. He kicks Dolph in the ribs and puts on a bearhug for a good while before the swinging Rock Bottom plants him again. All Rusev so far.

Rusev gorilla presses him up but Ziggler counters into a DDT for a breather. The Stinger Splash and neckbreaker get two for Dolph but Rusev comes back with the spinwheel kick for the same. Rusev goes up top so Ziggler can run the ropes into an X Factor. Ziggler tries a hurricanrana but has to settle for two off a sunset flip. There’s the sleeper to slow Rusev down but he’s quickly out, only to eat a Fameasser for a close two.

Rusev kicks him down again and puts on the Accolade but the girls get into it, freaking Rusev out enough that he lets go. Ziggler rolls outside but Rusev stops to stare at Lana, who gets decked by Summer. A quick superkick knocks Ziggler onto the announcers’ table and it’s a double countout at 12:00.

Rating: C. This was starting to cook before the lame draw ending. It’s a very interesting case here: Rusev and Ziggler have decent chemistry and Lana vs. Summer could be interesting, but Ziggler and Lana have some of the worst chemistry I’ve ever seen. It’s just awful stuff and they drag down every single scene they’re in together.

The guys keep fighting post match but Summer comes in, triggering a catfight. This almost has to lead to a mixed tag.

We recap Stephen Amell/Neville vs. Stardust/King Barrett. Amell is an actor who portrays the Green Arrow. Stardust has gone insane and thinks he’s a supervillain while Neville is billed as a superhero. King Barrett is thrown in there to make it a tag match and he has nothing better to do. As strange as this sounds, it’s actually been very well done and Amell looks like a great athlete.

Stardust/King Barrett vs. Neville/Stephen Amell

Amell comes out in his Arrow gear but is wrestling in shorts and boots. Neville flips away from Barrett to start and it’s quickly off to Stardust. He wants Amell and gets his wish, as Stephen springboards in and lands right in front of Stardust. Stardust shoves him down so Amell nips up and kicks him in the ribs. A hiptoss puts Stardust down again and Amell shoots an invisible arrow.

Barrett comes in for a kick to the ribs though and Amell is in trouble. Stardust comes back in but gets caught by an enziguri, finally allowing the hot tag to Neville. Everything breaks down with Neville cleaning house, including a middle rope Phoenix splash to Barrett, but Amell gets the dive off the top to drop Barrett and Stardust. The Red Arrow puts Barrett away at 7:37.

Rating: B+. That’s probably the best celebrity performance in the history of wrestling. Amell looked more polished that a lot of indy guys I’ve seen and was clearly having a blast out there. When his selling is already better than a good chunk of your main roster, it might be a sign that you need to make a few changes. I was very impressed here and Amell was awesome. And before I get a million complaints, yes this is on a very sliding scale.

Video on Summerslam week.

Intercontinental Title: Miz vs. Big Show vs. Ryback

Ryback is defending and this was supposed to happen last month, only to have Ryback get injured. Miz bails to the floor to start but comes back in when Ryback has Big Show in some trouble. Show suplexes both of them down and hits a middle rope swanton (yes you read that right) on Ryback, who Miz covers for two. Back up and Miz gets dropped, allowing Show to chokeslam Ryback onto him for two. It’s Ryback up first with a spinebuster and splash to Big Show.

The fans actually get into the FEED ME MORE chant and Ryback Shell Shocks Big Show, before having to kick out of a Skull Crushing Finale. Miz gets two on Show as well and then covers both guys for two more each, followed by a third cover on each for one. I liked that. Show KO’s Ryback but Miz breaks it up at two and gets his own near fall on Ryback. There’s a KO Punch for Miz as well but Ryback shoves Show outside and steals the pin at retain at 5:31. Cole: “Classic triple threat match!”

Rating: C-. Dang they’re flying through this show tonight. We’re through five matches in just over an hour and a half and this match was the fastest of all. They had an idea going here with the stolen pins but the speed hurt it a bit. I’m very glad Ryback retained though as he’s starting to make the title feel important and it would have been really stupid to put it back on Miz or Show for another lame reign.

Stewart tries to talk to Lesnar but gets Paul Heyman instead. Jon talks about being a wrestling fan and how people remember the person with the Streak, not the person who broke it. He goes on about Heyman and Lesnar giving the fans coal for Christmas instead of a puppy. Heyman: “Glory, glory, BROCK LESNAR! I guess we couldn’t get David Letterman to host the show.”

Bray Wyatt/Luke Harper vs. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose

Ambrose and Harper get things going but everything breaks down in a hurry with the Shield guys taking over and Dean running from announcers’ table to table for a dive onto Bray. The Wyatts pop back up though with Harper suicide diving onto Reigns, followed by a quick superkick over the announcers’ table. Ambrose’ suicide dive is basically no sold and Harper kicks him in the face to really take over.

Things settle down with the Wyatts taking over on Ambrose in the corner with some loud chops. Ambrose gets tied up in the ropes so Bray can suplex him to the floor ala Orton’s hanging DDT. Reigns is still down at ringside. Dean crawls to the empty corner and realizes what’s going on. JBL: “You’re all alone Gilligan.” The Wyatts take turns on Dean, who finally clotheslines Wyatt down. Fans: “ROMAN’S SLEEPING!”

Reigns FINALLY gets on the apron for the hot tag and cleans house, only to have the Superman Punch countered for a sitout powerbomb. Bray says he has an idea but Roman backdrops out of whatever they had planned. It’s back to Ambrose for a Doomsday Device for two on Harper. The Superman Punch and a DoubleBomb plant Harper again, followed by Dirty Deeds to Wyatt. Dean tags Roman back in for the spear and pin on Wyatt at 9:54.

Rating: C+. Well it was certainly energetic. I was buying into the tease of a heel turn but it wouldn’t have made sense given that Reigns was there when Dean finally got free for the hot tag. Also, it’s kind of nice to not go with the turn when it seems the most obvious for a change. You don’t have to force things in wrestling but WWE has fallen in love with the idea.

We recap Rollins vs. Cena. The video has Cena narrating about how awesome New York is before Rollins starts talking about the knee, setting up the title for title match. They really started playing up Cena winning his sixteenth title near as Summerslam got closer.

WWE World Title/US Title: John Cena vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins is World Champion and Cena is US Champion with both on the line. Seth is all in white here. Cena grabs a headlock to start and the fans are entirely behind Rollins. Back up and we get a “Ce-na Sucks!” chant, followed by a Blockbuster from Seth. Three straight suicide dives make Rollins an even bigger hero but he has to get to the ropes to block the STF.

The Pedigree is countered and Cena totally misses the Springboard Stunner to get the crowd even more riled up. Seth’s standing shooting star gets two so he ties Cena in the Tree of Woe for a top rope double stomp. Back up and a quick AA gets two for Cena before they slug it out. The Pedigree is countered into a catapult, followed by a reverse powerbomb to give John two.

Cena’s top rope Fameasser gets two more but Seth comes back with the buckle bomb for the same. A frog splash of all things crushes Cena and Rollins busts out an AA of his own for two more. Rollins takes his sweet time following up and gets caught in the STF. Cena pulls him back to the middle but has to fight out of the Pedigree, meaning it’s time for a Figure Four on Rollins.

Seth turns it over to reverse the pressure and both guys are down. With nothing else to do, Rollins superplexes him but rolls through into a bonus falcon’s arrow. Back up and the AA connects on Seth but the referee is knocked outside. Cena goes to check on him but gets hit with the knee to the nose. Cue Jon Stewart with a chair (Stewart and Rollins feuded on his show for months) but he hits Cena in the ribs, setting up a Pedigree onto the chair for the pin at 19:27.

Rating: B+. Uh……well alright then. I’m not sure what to think about this one but it’s nice to see Rollins getting a win in a big spot like this. I’m fine with him holding the title a bit longer as there’s really no reason to put it back on Cena just yet. The US Title could go a few different ways now and that makes things more interesting. Good match here, though I’m not sure what the point of the ending was.

Preview of upcoming WWE Network shows, including Edge and Christian on the Stone Cold Podcast, plus Lesnar at another house show at Madison Square Garden on October 3.

The pre-show panel talks as the fans thank Stewart.

We recap the Divas Revolution. Here’s the short version: one team wins, the second team wins, then the third team wins. Nothing changes though because this isn’t about being champion yet.

Team BAD vs. Team Bella vs. Team PCB

BAD: Naomi, Sasha Banks, Tamina

Bella: Nikki Bella, Brie Bella, Alicia Fox

PCB: Paige, Charlotte, Becky Lynch

This is an elimination match with one fall eliminating each team. Brie and Becky start things off but it’s quickly off to Tamina to kick Becky in the face. BAD takes turns on Becky with Sasha only getting a slam before tagging back to Tamina. Everything breaks down and BAD hit flip dives (Sasha’s barely connected) onto PCB on the floor in a scary looking crash. The Bellas hit stereo suicide dives, which Cole incorrectly calls new. Paige flips onto the entire pile and all nine are down. Back in and Brie hits a quick Bella Buster for the pin on Tamina to get us down to two.

Nikki Rack Attacks Becky for two but Paige makes the save, only to take the Alabama Slam on the floor. Brie comes in for some YES Kicks and a weak Daniel Bryan chant before it’s off to Fox as the match is finally in a standard formula. We hit the double arm crank as the fans want Charlotte. Instead they get Nikki snap suplexing Paige for two. Back to Fox who eats a knee to the face, finally allowing the hot tag to Charlotte.

Nikki has to break up the Figure Eight on Fox but Alicia pops back up for a double big boot to put herself and Charlotte down again. Becky gets the hot tag to slug it out with Brie, who misses the BRIE MODE dropkick. Yeah it’s a dropkick this time. Lynch grabs a pumphandle slam for the pin on Brie at 15:17.

Rating: C-. So yeah, as you might have expected, Sasha gets no time after last night’s classic, the Bellas get to look dominant for most of the match, and then Becky gets a quick bit of lip service for the pin. Maybe now we can FINALLY get on with an actual story, but there’s a good chance we have more Bella promos to sit through first.

Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens

Owens said Cesaro couldn’t beat Cena but Cesaro called Owens out on quitting all his matches. Kevin starts fast and knocks Cesaro outside for a flip dive, only to spend so much time yelling at Cole, allowing Cesaro to connect with a corkscrew dive of his own. Owens is right back up though and sends Cesaro into the barricade for a Cannonball.

A backsplash onto Cesaro’s back gets two and we hit the chinlock, which is now just a regular chinlock because why should Owens be allowed to make a spot fun? For some reason Owens thinks it’s a good idea to talk trash so Cesaro powers up and fires off slaps and punches, followed by the reverse Angle Slam for two. A gutwrench superplex gets two for Cesaro but he can’t hit the Neutralizer. Because Owens is fat you see. Like, fatter than Big Show fat. Even though Big Show weighs like 150lbs more, Owens is fat so it means more.

Owens misses his springboard moonsault but gets two off a superkick. The running uppercut sets up the Cesaro Swing into the Sharpshooter but Owens makes the rope. Cesaro puts him up top, blocks the fisherman’s superplex, and hits a great looking dropkick to stun Owens. He tries…..something, but gets crotched and superplexed, setting up the Pop Up Powerbomb to give Owens the pin at 14:21.

Rating: B-. This was the old “let two guys hit each other a lot” style and it’s very nice to see Owens win another major match. Granted that pretty much ends Cesaro’s match as he came in fresh against a banged up Owens and still lost, but one of them had to lose here and I like Owens winning better.

We recap Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar. Brock broke the Streak last year at Wrestlemania but his agent Paul Heyman wouldn’t shut up about it, which angered Undertaker and made him attack Lesnar. That set up the rematch, where for reasons I’ll never understand, WWE is trying to make Undertaker a heel.

Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker

Lesnar goes after Undertaker during the entrance (has anyone ever done that?) but Undertaker fights him off and knocks Lesnar to the floor for the opening bell. Back in and they slug it out with Undertaker getting the better of it. Old School is caught in an F5 but Undertaker slips off the back, only to be driven into the corner. There’s the first suplex but Undertaker is able to send him into the buckle to block a second. Brock might be busted open.

Snake Eyes into the big boot send Brock outside and Undertaker drops the apron legdrop. They head back inside with Undertaker winning another slugout. See, I can live with that as Undertaker has been billed as the best pure striker for years. It’s not exactly HHH just throwing punches and being fine against Brock. The chokeslam is countered into another German and Undertaker is in trouble again.

They head outside where another chokeslam is countered into the F5 through the announcers’ table to knock Undertaker silly again. Undertaker gets back in at nine and Brock just smiles at him. Brock: “I’ll kill you.” Undertaker: “You’re going to have to.” Brock goes for him but walks into a chokeslam. Tombstone gets two but Brock is up first and laughing again. Undertaker sits up and they start punching each other in the face.

Brock remembers he knows submissions and puts on the Kimura but Undertaker is in the ropes, meaning he can hit the Last Ride for another two. Brock is up first for a second F5 and another near fall. Now Lesnar is getting frustrated and the third F5 is still only good for two. That gets it past the ending at Wrestlemania.

Undertaker suckers Brock into the Hell’s Gate but gets countered into another Kimura with a bodyscissors. The bell rings but the referee says he didn’t call for it. Heyman says Undertaker tapped and in the distraction, Undertaker hits a low blow and puts on the Hell’s Gate but Lesnar flips him off….and passes out to end this at 17:13.

Rating: B+. And now we get a third because trilogies are JUST SO FREAKING COOL RIGHT??? This was a good old fashioned fight but I’m really not wild on seeing Brock lose. We don’t need to see them fight again, but that’s exactly what we’re going to get because that’s supposed to be epic. Ignore the fact that Undertaker never beating Lesnar and the Streak will be gone, but why not take away the two interesting things for the sake of a TRILOGY right? Really fun brawl though and the match they were shooting for last year in New Orleans.

Replays show that Undertaker did in fact tap out in the Kimura when the bell rang, which was due to Lesnar’s shoulders being down for a count, but the referee only got to one. Heyman declares Brock the winner by submission to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. I liked the show, but this is the problem with having a four hour show the night after a two and a half hour show and the night before a three hour show. I was worn out from hearing Cole and JBL talk about stats and where Summerslam has been held over the years and how big this year’s show was about an hour into this and it just never stopped. That’s draining more than anything else and it’s not a good thing.

Now that being said, the show itself was indeed pretty good. This felt like an old school Summerslam until the last match, with a lot of mini feuds being blown off instead of doing anything major. There was more than enough good wrestling to go around and they’re ready to go into the fall as we get ready for Survivor Series and then Wrestlemania season.

Rollins retaining the title is a good idea as beating Cena is a big stepping stone forward for him. The Stewart stuff I can live with as it gives WWE some publicity, and they can set up some stuff off of the ending as well. The other stories mean it’s time for some new stories though and that’s the best thing that could happen right now. It’s a good show, albeit not very memorable. As I said though, this just didn’t need to be four hours and it really hurt things.

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Wrestlemania XXXII
Date: April 3, 2016
Location: AT&T Stadium, Arlington, Texas
Attendance: 101,763
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

We had to get here again at some point. I sat in the stadium last year for the better part of seven hours watching this show and was pretty entertained for the most part. However, since then I’ve thought back on it a few times and it seems to go all downhill from there. I’m not sure what to expect from this one other than it’s going to take a few days to get through. Let’s get to it.

As we get ready for the pre-show matches, the place might be 10% full at this point as there was some confusion in opening the gates. There were no lines and it was just a sea of humanity trying to get inside.

Pre-Show: Ryback vs. Kalisto

Kalisto, in some ceremonial bird headpiece, is defending and this is your standard bully vs. smaller guy feud. It’s such a weird visual to see people coming to the ring with so few fans in the seats. I’m not sure if it’s going to make a difference but I expect a three part podcast from Ryback about how unfair it was to his career. We get the big staredown to show the match’s story and to show off Ryback’s new trunks.

Ryback plants him off a headlock and easily throws the champ outside. Kalisto gets in a quick bulldog for two but the kickout sends him outside. Some double knees to the chest get the same result and Ryback gets to show off by gorilla pressing Kalisto up the steps and back inside. We take a break and come back with Kalisto taking a hard elbow to the jaw for two.

A running sitout powerslam (kind of like a Michinoku Driver) gets the same and it’s time to slap at the mask. I know Ryback had some issues but he did seem to be trying to mix things up on offense. He deserves credit for trying at least and it’s true that he had some unfair breaks. I just can’t imagine it was as bad as he made it seem.

A delayed superplex is countered into a crossbody for two and the Shell Shock is countered into a quick DDT. The corkscrew crossbody gets two but Ryback plants him again. Kalisto goes to the corner and pulls a turnbuckle pad off. I’m sure you can piece the next step together but in case you’re a bit slow, Ryback goes head first into the buckle and the Salida Del Sol retains the title at 8:57.

Rating: C. Despite the surprise when the title didn’t change hands, this was a snappy little match with the power vs. speed working quite well. Kalisto is the kind of guy who can perform well against anyone and Ryback’s power was a perfect foil. Ryback is still one of the more interesting what if’s in recent years but it’s pretty clear that the guy isn’t all there sometimes, which can make for some messy negotiations.

Team Total Divas vs. Team B.A.D. and Blonde

Total Divas: Natalya, Brie Bella, Paige, Alicia Fox, Eva Marie

B.A.D. and Blonde: Naomi, Lana, Summer Rae, Tamina, Emma

Yes this story is still happening for reasons I’m sure you can figure out for yourself. If nothing else, Wrestlemania is an excuse to see Brie’s legs, which you don’t get for the rest of the year. This is Lana’s only main roster match to date and uh…..yeah this works. Fox elbows the heck out of Summer to start and a sloppy tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two. We get the big ten Diva staredown and it’s off to a break because the pre-show is basically Raw.

Back from a break with Eva getting booed out of the stadium and suplexing Emma. A hard tag brings in Natalya and it’s off to Naomi for the dancing kicks. Paige comes in to play Bret to Natalya’s Neidhart (that must have made her smile) on a Hart Attack. It’s back to Emma for a wheelbarrow suplex on Paige before Lana is brought in to the pop of the match so far. Some good looking kicks drop Paige and we hear some trash talk with nothing resembling an accent.

Brie tries to come in so Lana mocks the YES chant in a nice touch. Tamina grabs a chinlock as the rapid tags continue (that’s all you can expect in something like this). A Tower of Doom is teased but instead Paige dives onto a bunch of the women at ringside. Back in and Emma stomps on Paige in the corner but a rollup sends Emma’s head into the buckle.

The hot tag brings in Brie to clean house and it’s time for the parade of secondary finishers. Naomi: “FEEL MY GLOW!!!” By that she means barely get grazed by a split legged moonsault and have Lana shoves Brie off the top. Not that it matters as Brie gets a good looking roll into the YES Lock to make Naomi tap at 11:26.

Rating: D+. Yeah the match was a mess but there’s only so much you can put on the wrestling here. With so many people and so many of them being there as eye candy, there’s only so much they can do. This is the last night for the old Divas style with people being able to use the most basic moves but mainly being there for the sake of their looks. There are FAR worse versions of this match though and this was actually fine for the circumstances.

Post match Nikki Bella comes out in her neck brace in what is supposed to be some big moment.

Usos vs. Dudley Boyz

The Dudleys are heels and refusing to use tables. It’s a brawl to start with the non-brothers cleaning house as the crowd is really filling in now. D-Von cranks on Jimmy’s neck and it’s off to Bubba for some trash talk about Rikishi. The snap punches take too long though and Jimmy gets in a superkick, setting up the hot tag to Jey. Everything breaks down and Jey takes What’s Up. Bubba calls for the tables but again takes too long, earning a double superkick. 3D is broken up as well and Jey superkicks D-Von for the pin at 5:20.

Rating: D+. Another nothing match here as we’re just getting ready for the big show and getting this stuff out of the way. You easily could have cut this match off and no one was going to notice it, especially with so little time. The Dudleys were fine at putting people over but did the Usos really need a win like this? Nothing to see here and it really could have been cut as a way to take some of the time off the main show.

Post match the Dudleyz load up some tables but get splashed through them instead. Cool visual if nothing else.

Fifth Harmony sings a very nice rendition of America the Beautiful.

The opening video focuses on the history of Wrestlemania and how it’s never been bigger than this. Various legends and legendary moments are shown, as they certainly should be. This transitions into a preview of tonight’s show, including the matches and of course a focus on the Rock’s unspecified role. Nothing out of the ordinary here but as is usually the case with these things, WWE really knows how to make these things look great. Also of note: Kelsey Grammer of all people narrates this.

I’m not a fan of his but Flo Rida’s My House is one of the catchiest theme songs they’ve had in years.

Inter-continental Title: Kevin Owens vs. The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder vs. Stardust vs. Sin Cara vs. Sami Zayn

Owens is defending and this is a ladder match. Originally there were just four people involved but the match fell through with Stephanie making a triple threat for the title shot. That match went to a no contest so LET’S JUST THROW EVERYONE INTO THE MESS OF A MATCH. And people wonder why this title isn’t treated as anything important anymore. Sami gets a very nice pop here but Owens’ blows it away, making him the big crowd favorite.

On the other hand, Stardust (in Dusty polka dots) and Sin Cara come out to near silence, which isn’t exactly the biggest surprise. Finally, Ryder gets to hear his music played at Wrestlemania for the first time ever, which really is a cool moment. Ryder: “I’VE BEEN WAITING MY WHOLE LIFE FOR THIS!!!”

Everyone drops to the floor to start and it’s Owens left alone in the ring. As you might expect, Sami comes in with a ladder and it’s time for the Wrestlemania slugout that you know means the world to them. Kevin gets the better of it and cleans house with the ladder until Cara gets in a ladder shot of his own to take over. Ryder neckbreakers Stardust onto the ladder and Miz throws a different ladder over the top and onto Cara.

Sami and Ziggler knock Miz’s ladder over and there’s the Blue Thunder Bomb, which thankfully doesn’t have to go through the motions of a near fall. Back in and Owens backdrops Sami onto a ladder. Kevin: “THIS IS KO MANIA! GO BACK TO NXT!” Ziggler and Ryder go up but Stardust makes a save to put both guys down again. Cara does the same to Stardust and it’s Sami vs. Miz in the ring.

That doesn’t last long either as Sami dives through a ladder to take out four people at once, followed by the diving tornado DDT on Owens. Cara gets shoved off the ladder but lands on the top rope into a springboard onto another pile of people. Ziggler starts the superkick party so JBL can talk about Shawn Michaels.

Owens comes back in and it’s a double superkick to put everyone down. Stardust pulls out the polka dotted ladder (The Exo Atmospheric Starbird Mark II. I’d call it Larry.) and spins it around his head, only to get caught in a Skull Crushing Finale onto said ladder. Now it’s Sami back in but charging into Kevin’s boot in the corner. A frog splash onto Sami onto a ladder bridged onto the bottom rope crushes everyone (JBL: “That’s the biggest frog I’ve ever seen.”).

Ryder doesn’t quite one up him with the Elbro off another ladder to crush Miz but it still looked cool. I’m not sure why there weren’t more flashbulbs going off either as it was quite the highspot. Ziggler faceplants Ryder off the ladder and comes up favoring his knee. The delay lets Owens powerbomb Ziggler off the ladder and Cara kicks Stardust onto a ladder bridged between the apron and the barricade.

Cara hits the big dive to put Stardust through the ladder, leaving Owens and Zayn to slug it out above the ring. Sami gets the better of it and hits the half and half suplex to drop Owens head first into a ladder (sick looking landing). That lets Sami go up until Miz shoves him over but this time Miz takes too long going up, earning himself a big shove off from Ryder, who climbs the ladder for the huge upset at 15:24.

Rating: B. It’s a fun match and the spots were great but…..RYDER??? I mean…..HE’S ZACK RYDER! As is so often the case, there were too many people in here with guys like Cara and Stardust just being there to add more bodies to the thing. Cut this down to four people (five max) and it’s WAY better but that might mean the title is treated a bit more seriously and we can’t have that. I still think this was supposed to be Neville’s spot until he broke his ankle but it doesn’t really matter.

Ryder’s dad comes in to celebrate with him for a really cool moment.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho. They traded some wins and then formed a short lived team (Y2AJ) but Jericho turned on him when they lost. Jericho was jealous over the AJ STYLES chants and wanted the respect for himself. It’s actually a solid feud and one of the matches people wanted to see, though I could have gone with not having the same match three times before.

AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho drives him into the corner to start and the AJ STYLES chants are already going nice and strong. Styles gets in a hurricanrana and a snappy armdrag before sending Jericho outside. That should mean a slingshot dive but Jericho dropkicks him out of the air to take over. Back in and a neckbreaker sets up a dragon sleeper for a change of pace.

AJ tries to fight back but gets pulled down into the Walls for some good old fashioned ASK HIM/AHHHH exchanges. A rope is grabbed so AJ can hit the moonsault into a reverse DDT for two. Both guys head to the corner for a super sitout gordbuster and one heck of a crash. The Pele is countered into a Walls attempt but AJ reverses that into the Calf Crusher.

The Styles Clash is broken up and a Codebreaker gets a delayed two (with Cole making sure to say the near fall was due to the delay in a nice touch). For a change of pace, Jericho loads up AJ for the Styles Clash but gets planted face first for two instead. A rollup exchange sets up the real Styles Clash for two and the springboard 450 gets the same. With nothing else left, AJ heads to the apron and loads up the Phenomenal Forearm, only to have Jericho shove the referee away and catch Styles with the Codebreaker for the pin at 17:08.

Rating: B. Another long match here with an interesting choice for the ending. I know Jericho went on to have one of the best years of his career but at this point he’s just Jericho and Styles hasn’t even been in the company for three months yet. This continues to feel like booking for the sake of the surprise, which is almost never a good thing. Still though, would you expect anything other than very good from these two for seventeen minutes?

Maria Menunos interviews Zack Ryder and talks about getting to take a picture with Razor Ramon and his Intercontinental Title when he was a kid. Tonight though, he and Ramon are taking a picture with RYDER’S Intercontinental Title. I’m not sure if that’s a better line than waiting your whole life for this but Ryder is nailing it tonight.

New Day vs. League of Nations

New Day comes out in a huge box of BootyO’s which tips over….to reveal them in Dragon Ball Z costumes, complete with a tail on Woods. This was originally a Tag Team Title match but was changed to a handicap match before switching to a six man (Sheamus/Alberto Del Rio/Rusev for the League with King Barrett in the corner) for no apparent reason. I mean, other than having New Day lose or something crazy like that. Also, make no mistake about it: New Day was by FAR the most popular merchandise choice of the weekend. You would see that blue shirt all over Dallas and nothing was anywhere near as common.

Kofi and Sheamus start things off as we hear about New Day holding the titles for over 200 days. Somehow they’re not even at the halfway point. Sheamus gets taken down into the corner for the Unicorn Stampede and Woods starts in with some tromboning. Xavier comes in and gets beaten down as JBL has the nerve to compare these two to the Freebirds and the Horsemen.

Sheamus gets in the forearms to the beat of NEW DAY SUCKS and it’s off to Rusev for a running flip senton. Woods sends Del Rio to the floor in a big crash but Sheamus is over there to takes New Day off the apron in a smart move. Not that it matters as Kofi gets the hot tag a few seconds later and house is cleaned again. Trouble in Paradise is broken up and Rusev adds a kick to the head of his own for two.

The fans try to get an UP UP DOWN DOWN chant going and Big E. tags himself in for some suplexes. The spear through the ropes takes out Sheamus, Rusev and Barrett but it does the same to Big E., who thankfully didn’t break his neck. Back in and Woods drops a top rope double stomp for two on Sheamus. Del Rio makes a save and hits a scary double stomp off the apron to crush Kofi. That leaves Woods alone to take the Bull Hammer from Barrett to give Sheamus the pin at 10:02.

Rating: D+. Ok they’re trolling us now right? The League of Nations is one of the most worthless stables in a LONG time and they’re beating one of the most over groups in recent memory? I know it’s designed to set up the post match shenanigans but there are multiple ways to do the same thing without beating New Day. It’s even worse when you consider the group was split less than a month later.

Post match Barrett says there are no three men who can beat them. Cue Shawn Michaels (nearly causing the wife to jump out of the upper deck), Mick Foley and Steve Austin (he’s a bit too big of a star for this group) for the beatdown. The moment is cool but Cole talking about how great of a moment this is feels so stupidly forced. Anyway, house is quickly cleaned (and apparently Austin further injures his already destroyed shoulder in the process). New Day gets back in and dancing ensues with Shawn and Steve getting into it…..until it’s a Stunner for Woods. Beer is quickly consumed.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Dean Ambrose. Lesnar is the Beast and needs someone to fight him so Dean was like “eh I’ll do it.” This led to one heck of a beatdown so Ambrose was given some weapons by various hardcore legends (barbed wire bat from Foley and a chainsaw from Terry Funk) because this is a no holds barred street fight.

Dean Ambrose vs. Brock Lesnar

Anything goes and Heyman gives Brock a big, over the top intro. JBL gives us a good example of trying to be too smart by calling Lesnar a former NWA Champion (assuming he means NCAA), which of course he never won. Brock hits the first suplex inside of ten seconds and the huge video screen above the ring kept count (It had been all over the place all night with unicorns for the New Day and various three camera shot replays. In other words, it was annoying in a hurry.).

We hit the third German suplex forty five seconds in and Ambrose is on the floor. A few kendo stick shots annoy Lesnar so he rolls two more suplexes. Brock breaks the stick over his knee and there’s number six. Ambrose can barely move so he gives the referee a thumbs up and there are numbers seven and eight before we’re even five minutes into the match. Dean slaps him in the face….and gets suplexed again.

With nothing else to do, Lesnar offers Dean a free shot with the stick, which Brock then stands on. That earns him a low blow (Ambrose: “THAT’S HILARIOUS!”) and now the stick shots work a bit better. Dean goes outside and finds a chainsaw (Heyman’s eyes bug out) but that means a tenth suplex. A laptop off Lesnar’s face allows Dean to chair him a few times, only to have Brock run the ropes for a belly to belly superplex. Dean’s next trick is a fire extinguisher blast to the face followed by some lame chair shots to the ribs.

A dropkick to send the chair into Lesnar’s face works a bit better and the top rope chair drop gets two. For some reason Dean throws in about ten chairs, which he then goes sailing over off another German suplex. The F5 is countered into a DDT onto (or close to) a chair for two. Now it’s time for the barbed wire baseball bat but it’s another German suplex onto the chairs. An F5 onto them is enough to put Dean away at 12:50.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t as bad as I remember it but they made it very clear that Ambrose wasn’t on Lesnar’s level or really close to it for that matter. There’s only so much you can do when Lesnar is out there doing nothing but suplexes (other than those and an F5, I actually can’t think of anything else he did in the match) and Dean ran into that problem here. This could have been a lot worse but a little more offense from Ambrose would have been appreciated.

Ric Flair teaches Ryder how to Woo but it turns out to be a Snickers commercial. Ryder takes a bite….and turns into Charlotte. Yeah I don’t get it either but I think Charlotte is the new Intercontinental Champion.

Hall of Fame time with a pretty good class:

Godfather (So completely out of place here.)

Stan Hansen (How was he not in already?)

Big Boss Man (That’s perfectly fine.)
Jacqueline (Fine, just don’t let her talk.)

Joan Lunden (Warrior Award, which seems to have been forgotten this year.)

Fabulous Freebirds (You could argue they were the headliners.)

Snoop Dogg (Harmless. Not exactly PG but harmless.)

Sting (Only entrance and the loudest reaction.)

We go back to the Kickoff Show with Lita unveiling the new WOMEN’S Title (meaning the Divas era is finally over). Oh and remember that this is completely different than the original Women’s Title, meaning it actually has its own lineage.

We recap the Women’s Title match with a really cool WWE Network themed video. It’s a search for Women’s Champions which shows some famous names before a Women’s Revolution search brings up the three of them (with Stephanie’s screeching narration of course). This gets the music video treatment, which it actually deserves.

Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte

The title is officially vacant coming in though Charlotte never lost the Divas Title. Banks has Snoop Dogg (her real life cousin) rap her to the ring, which should guarantee her winning the title here. She also has Eddie Guerrero inspired gear and actually looks better in the tights than the trunks. Charlotte (still wearing the Divas Title) has Ric Flair in her corner and debuts the blue gear, with the robe being made from the robe Flair wore in his final match. That’s a very good thing as she rocks the heck out of that outfit. Lita is holding the new title and after the Big Match Intros we’re ready to go.

Everyone trades rollups to start in a fast and pretty athletic sequence until Charlotte kicks Becky in the face. That earns a nice round of applause and you can tell the women are ready tonight. A hurricanrana sends Charlotte across the ring and Sasha throws in an Eddie dance. They botch (not bad) a sunset flip/German suplex spot before Charlotte it sent outside, leaving Sasha to elbow Becky in the face.

Charlotte pulls Sasha outside though and gives her something like a wheelbarrow suplex onto the apron. Back in and Becky (with a lot of eye makeup) grabs an arm trap reverse DDT for two on Charlotte and we hit the cross armbreaker. Flair gets on the apron like a good pop though and it’s time for the Figure Four. That also means that it’s time for Sasha to come in with a frog splash for the save.

Becky grabs something like a Rock Bottom for two on Charlotte and rolls Sasha up for the same. In the first big spot of the match, Sasha dives through the ropes to flip onto Charlotte (possibly catching her foot on the ropes but it didn’t seem to change much). Becky TAKES OUT FLAIR, drawing one of the biggest pops of the night. With Becky and Sasha staggered, Charlotte goes up top and moonsaults onto both of them (looked sweet) for maybe the biggest spot in the history of women’s wrestling.

Back in and double Natural Selection gets a double near fall, much to Charlotte and Ric’s collective frustration. Charlotte loads Sasha up into an electric chair but Becky comes in with a missile dropkick for two on Sasha. The Disarm-Her has Charlotte in trouble until Sasha makes the save with the Bank Statement.

That brings Charlotte back in with the Figure Four on Banks, which is upgraded into the Figure Eight until Becky pulls them to the ropes. Charlotte spears Banks down but gets taken to the top for one heck of a superplex. Banks gets up and goes for the Bank Statement, only to be sent outside so Charlotte can grab the Figure Eight (with Flair holding Banks’ foot) to make Becky tap at 16:08.

Rating: A-. Match of the night so far by a good stretch and pretty easily the best women’s match ever on the main roster to date. There were a few botches here and there but the idea that three women could have a match on par with if not exceeding a lot of the better men would have been unthinkable just a few years ago. Great stuff here and FAR better than I think anyone could have hoped for (save for the logical Banks title win of course).

Charlotte poses and gets some pyro to really make this special.

You know, we’re about two hours and twenty minutes into this show and it’s on pace to be one of the best shows ever. I know there are some booking issues but other than a nothing six man (with a really fun post match segment), nothing has been bad and even that match was fine. However, there are four matches left and nearly TWO AND A HALF HOURS left in the show. I think I know where things are going to start going downhill.

The Cell is lowered for the 33^rd time in WWE history. That stat kind of pulls things back a bit no?

We recap Shane McMahon vs. Undertaker and it’s time for this show to start to unravel. So Shane came back in January and talked about how Vince and Stephanie had ruined everything. There was something about a lockbox with evidence of Vince doing something bad (never specified) and Shane threatened to open it if he didn’t get to run Raw (which he said basically meant WWE). Vince decided to put it up in a match with Shane facing Undertaker in the Cell. Undertaker’s Wrestlemania career was put on the line and that’s about it for anyone buying this as anything serious.

At the end of the day, it’s really, REALLY hard to believe that Undertaker was in any real danger against Shane, who hadn’t wrestled a single match in seven years. It’s kind of hard to buy this as a competitive match, but there’s a very good chance that this was supposed to be John Cena instead of Shane but injuries derailed the plans (a major problem all night). To their credit, this match led to something like tens of thousands of tickets being sold in a hurry so it was definitely a draw and worthy of this kind of a push.

Shane McMahon vs. Undertaker

Inside Hell in a Cell. Shane does the high energy entrance and brings his kids out to dance to the ring with him as Shane Bucks fall from the ceiling in a cool moment. Apparently Shane wants to take Undertaker’s cardio, which you know Shane has in droves due to, you know, everything that works against him. Some right hands have no effect on Undertaker so he punches Shane down with one shot. Remember: best pure striker ever in WWE, which you can add to the list of reasons this should be a squash.

Snake Eyes into the big boot have Shane reeling but he gets Undertaker to chase him and stomps away. That earns him a throw into the cage wall and the apron legdrop as this is total dominance in the first five minutes. The Last Ride gets two and the match is instantly a complete mess at 5:32. I’m sorry but there’s no way I can buy this no matter what WWE wants to tell me. That move has beaten World Champions but SHANE MCMAHON, in his mid 40s and seven years removed from his last match, kicks out of it after getting beaten up? Just….no, period.

Undertaker grabs the steps but gets pulled into a weak triangle choke. That’s countered into a chokeslam onto the steps for another two as Shane is suddenly the offspring of Super Cena and Hulk Hogan. Undertaker misses an elbow onto the steps so Shane sits on them and teases Undertaker into a drop toehold onto said steps. I don’t buy Undertaker as being that stupid, nor do I buy the cover that follows.

Shane punches him in the face off the situp so Undertaker gets him in the Hell’s Gate, which Shane reverses into a Sharpshooter. You know, because anyone can survive THREE UNDERTAKER FINISHERS IN TWELVE MINUTES. Undertaker easily powers out so Shane punches him into the corner, which is totally enough to have Undertaker in trouble. Coast to Coast into a trashcan gets two and Shane grabs….boltcutters.

He cuts the Cell open but Undertaker tackles him through the wall and onto the announcers’ table. A monitor to the head looks to set up a Tombstone onto the table but Shane reverses into a sleeper. That’s reversed with a backwards crash through the table as this is getting even more ridiculous. A toolbox to the head puts Undertaker on a table…..and Shane climbs the Cell.

The big elbow completely misses (because it would have killed Undertaker) and you can see the crash pad deflate as Shane lands. Cole: “FOR THE LOVE OF MANKIND!” It was a terrifying spot live but now it’s much more silly than anything else, which isn’t the point in a match like this. Then again this stopped being anything serious or really interesting as soon as the Last Ride only got two so it’s a moot point. Shane says bring it again so Undertaker carries him inside for the Tombstone and the pin at 30:06.

Rating: D-. WAY too long here with a match that should have been a glorified squash (which this was) that ran only about half this long. The idea that Shane could hang in there with Undertaker under these or any circumstances (including a bunch of run-ins, which never happened), is a combination of insulting and stupid.

It’s a ridiculous story (both the buildup and the match itself) and a terribly dull match with one big spot not being able to make up for anything. This was more fun live but GOOD NIGHT it does not hold up. Cut it down to twenty minutes at most and this is much better but as it is, this is horrible. On top of that, allegedly Shane was supposed to win until Undertaker shot it down, which he certainly should have done. The show has hit a major wall now and it’s going to need something special to bring them out.

Shane is taken out on a stretcher as the announcers brag about how awesome he is, which is why a lot of people don’t like seeing Shane wrestle. Yeah he’ll do a bunch of stuff but he gets WAY more credit and praise than he deserves. Shane gives a thumbs up on the way out.

Reason #1 this show crashed so hard: from the time the Cell was lowered to the time we cut away from Shane: 50:43. That’s a lot of time to spend on something that…..bleh.

The pre-show panel chats for a bit.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Fandango, Damien Sandow, Shaquille O’Neal, Big Show, Viktor, Diamond Dallas Page, Konnor, Tatanka, Jack Swagger, R-Truth, Goldust, Curtis Axel, Baron Corbin, Adam Rose, Heath Slater, Tyler Breeze, Mark Henry, Bo Dallas, Darren Young, Kane

O’Neal is a surprise, or as much of one as you can be when his face popped up on the big screen during the other entrances. We get the big staredown between Shaq and Show but they have to stop and double chokeslam Kane. Everyone else is sent outside (none eliminated) until Fandango comes in and gets eliminated. Sandow (POP) does the same and is eliminated as well, allowing everyone else to come in and eliminate Shaq and Show. Somehow, that means we NEED to see them at Wrestlemania the next year, despite almost no one asking to see it. Everyone stands around until Page hits the Diamond Cutter on Viktor and tosses him with ease.

Konnor gets rid of Page a few seconds later as this is already pretty dull stuff. The yet to be official Golden Truth eliminates Konnor and Tatanka goes on a warpath that no one was asking for. Corbin tosses Tatanka to no reaction and Kane backdrops Swagger out. The Social Outcasts of all people clean house and get rid of Goldust and Truth. We get a victory lap until Kane and Corbin get rid of Rose and Axel.

We’re down to Corbin, Kane, Young, Breeze, Henry and Dallas with Kane chokeslamming Baron. Henry comes back in after being on the floor for six minutes to eliminate Slater and Breeze to get us down to five. Kane and Young (the oddest couple until….Young and Bob Backlund I guess) get rid of Henry before Kane dumps Dallas and Young. Corbin sneaks in from behind though and eliminates Kane to win at 9:43 and set off the NXT chants.

Rating: D. This was your annual “hey we still have jobs” battle royal but for once they let someone have the win to elevate them up the card. Corbin hits the ground running and odds are he’s going to be challenging for the Intercontinental Title at next year’s show. That’s how you introduce a star and it worked very well. The battle royal itself didn’t though with too many dead spots, but at least they kept the pace up after the first year’s was over thirteen minutes and last year’s was over eighteen.

Wrestlemania XXXIII is in Orlando.

Here are the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders to perform, which is never a bad thing. They’re followed by something that’s a bit more hit or miss: Rock’s annual Wrestlemania appearance. This time it’s a bit different though because he has a FLAMETHROWER. He lights a ROCK sign on fire and this eats up even more time on a show already over three and a half hours long with the main event to go.

After the long entrance and some standing around, Rock FINALLY says his first words nearly eight minutes after the cheerleaders started. We get some crowd praising and talk of Rock babies as there’s a loud echo on everything Rock says (kind of cool because of just how big the place is) and the new attendance record of 101,763 is announced. Yeah I know it’s probably not quite that high and much like in 1987, I really don’t care that much.

Rock says it’s about to get good…and we’ve got Wyatts. Thankfully this means we get the Fireflies in the stadium, which was one of the coolest visuals I’ve ever seen. It actually lit up the ring, which is pretty impressive for a bunch of phones. Bray introduces himself and says he chose Rock because Rock represents a lie. Rock is supposed to be the People’s Champion but this is Bray’s moment. He’s going to eviscerate Rock on the grandest stage of them all and the people have to watch.

Rock mocks the eviscerating line and thinks Bray has been hitting the bong. We get some jokes about Rowan and Strowman (Is this where Rock buried Bray? I never can tell with these things.) before Rock praises Bray for having it all (BURIAL! HE’S BURYING HIM! SOMEONE GET A SHOVEL TO HELP BRAY!) and getting 100,000 people on their feet. Rock accuses Bray of eating Hot Pockets but Bray says he’s here to kick the door down. However, Rock has an idea: let’s have a match! We get a referee and Rock says pick any Family member as he takes off the workout gear to reveal trunks.

The Rock vs. Erick Rowan

Rock Bottom, six seconds. Again, I saw this called Rock burying the Wyatts. You know, because people are worried about ERICK ROWAN needing protection.

The Family surrounds Rock and heeeere’s Cena for the save. House is cleaned, signature moves are hit and Rock welcomes Cena back (he would be back in about a month) to FINALLY end this, 28:15 after the cheerleaders came out (I’m keeping time for a reason in case you couldn’t tell).

It’s 11:03pm so let’s recap the main event. Roman Reigns was World Champion but HHH couldn’t get him to go corporate so it’s Austin vs. Vince again. HHH made Reigns defend the title in the Royal Rumble, which he of course entered and won to set up this match. People really weren’t all that interested but you knew this was going to happen several months back. You know, because THIS TIME FOR SURE it’s going to get Reigns over.

WWE World Title: Roman Reigns vs. HHH

HHH is defending and here’s Stephanie in what I think is a Mad Max look. It’s a closeup of her face in front of a barren wasteland as she talks about how this is their world and we’re all just living in it. Basically all hope is lost and we need to give up on this ridiculous belief that anyone can save us from the Authority.

Then an army of people in skull masks (NXT wrestlers with Enzo Amore at the front) carrying WWE Titles comes to the ring to set up HHH’s entrance where Stephanie gets to show off her legs. Again, just like the last two years, the big face gets to follow this rather cool (and over the top) HHH entrance. But hey, at least we get the annual HHH is Cool moment right?

As ridiculous (and as much as they’re begging the fans to boo them instead of Reigns) as this is, it’s NOTHING compared to the outright hatred that Reigns receives. The man is booed out of Texas and allegedly the audio had to be turned down in response. If that’s true…..I really wouldn’t be surprised.

Since these two can’t stand each other, they go to a headlock and armbar to start. The fans unload on Reigns when he shoulders HHH, only to get hiptossed to the floor. Back in and HHH works on the arm some more until Reigns shoves him into the corner for more incredible booing. A lockup goes nowhere as this is already starting to look like one of HHH’s disastrous main events.

Some hard forearms to the back of Reigns’ head put him down. The comeback is so soundly booed that it’s almost comical. A Stunner over the top rope sets up the apron dropkick for one on the champ. Stephanie offers a quick distraction so HHH can get in a low blow (FACE POP) and Reigns goes down again. HHH goes with some hard right hands to the face and the spinebuster gets two.

They head outside with HHH sending him face first into the announcers’ table (which he did a few weeks back to break Reigns’ nose). Another comeback is cut off and Reigns is thrown into the German announcers. Back in and Reigns uppercuts him out of the air and hammers away, only to have HHH bail from the Superman Punch. They trade whips into the steps until Reigns spears him through the barricade for almost no reaction. This is basically the same problem as HHH vs. Jericho in 2002: there’s no reason to believe the champ has a chance so there’s no reason to care until Reigns hits a spear in the ring.

Back in again and Reigns is holding his arm but HE’LL CONTINUE! And without a thirty minute nap like at the Rumble! Oh he’s got his working boots on tonight. HHH puts on a Fujiwara armbar of all things because the main event of Wrestlemania with a match that’s supposed to be based on hatred is built around a bad arm. See, when Daniel Bryan did that, it was entertaining. When Reigns is doing it, the fans are cheering the evil villain.

Reigns powers out of something like the Rings of Saturn but can’t knock the confetti off of HHH’s head. It’s back to the armbar until Reigns FINALLY gets the break with a powerbomb. That goes nowhere so WE HIT ANOTHER ARMBAR BECAUSE THIS MATCH NEEDS TO BE ALL LONG AND EPIC AND STUFF! Another powerbomb breaks the hold again but the spear is countered into a Pedigree which is countered into a backdrop to the floor.

The fans start singing to placate their boredom until the spear gets….no count because Stephanie pulls the referee out. Now Stephanie gets in to yell at the referee, earning herself a spear and turning Reigns into the biggest star in the world (for about thirty seconds). If my memory serves me right, she hasn’t taken a bump in nearly a year since then, or really had anything bad happen to her that lasted more than a day or two.

The Pedigree gives us the first hot near fall of the match and it’s the Superman Punch to drop HHH. The second spear is broken up with a knee and Stephanie hands HHH the sledgehammer (She took a spear less than four minutes ago so OF COURSE she’s capable of doing that. This woman is scary.). Not that it matters as another Superman Punch and the spear give Reigns the title back at 27:04.

Rating: D. And a lot of that is just for having the guts to go out there and do a match this boring in this spot on this show. This match was twelve minutes of HHH working on the arm and then getting into the main event style that went exactly where we knew it was going. The lack of drama or really anything interesting (save for that Stephanie spear) killed this and there was no recovering given how long the thing ran.

This needed to be about fifteen minutes shorter and we would have had the same result: Reigns winning and getting booed out of the building because people just don’t want to see him in this spot. There was a total lack of hatred and violence here and it really dragged things down, which is far too often the case for any given HHH match. It’s one of the worst Wrestlemania main events ever and there’s really no way around that.

A quick celebration sets up the traditional long music video to wrap things up.

Overall Rating: D. I can’t think of a single show that is so completely different from the first half to the second. The worst thing about the first few matches is the booking with the worst match being a somewhat dull six man tag. If you cut this off after the Women’s Title, this is one of the better pay per views I’ve seen in several years.

Then the Cell was lowered, kicking off the last “four” matches (counting Rock vs. Rowan) and the long segment. When you add up the Cell, the Rock segment and the main event, they all combined for over two hours. That’s two REALLY bad matches and a segment that went on far too long (but was entertaining at times) adding up to an episode of Smackdown. Clip off fifteen minutes from Shane vs. Undertaker (and another five from the intro/post match stuff), ten from Rock’s stuff (say, him playing with a flamethrower) and AT LEAST ten off the main event and this is instantly a less horrible show.

Unlike most pay per views, Wrestlemania is almost exclusively remembered for two to three matches more often than not. Therefore, it’s a major problem when your two main matches are long and rather horrible. It was hard to keep interest in this show even sitting in the stadium and that should not happen. There’s a lot of good stuff in the first half though and switching the order up would have helped out a lot. Unfortunately that’s completely the opposite of what they did as it was all stupid booking overshadowing the good and then REALLY bad stuff covering the rest of the show.

It’s easy to see why this show is remembered so poorly when the second half is just such a wreck. It felt like a huge way to have the fans get annoyed while WWE laughs and says “we’ve got all your money”. You shouldn’t leave Wrestlemania talking about how bad the show was when there was so much good going on. The bad completely outweighs the good here and there was no way anything else was going to be remembered. Awful show that lives down to its reputation.

Ratings Comparison

Zack Ryder vs. Stardust vs. Sin Cara vs. Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens vs. The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: B

Redo: B

AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

Redo: B

New Day vs. League of Nations

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Brock Lesnar vs. Dean Ambrose

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch vs. Sasha Banks

Original: B+

Redo: A-

Shane McMahon vs. Undertaker

Original: D

Redo: D-

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: D

Redo: D

The Rock vs. Erick Rowan

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

HHH vs. Roman Reigns

Original: D

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D

Oh yeah I was still feeling the in-person vibe when I watched this back the first time. A C- is WAY too generous.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2016/04/08/wrestlemania-xxxii-strap-yourselves-in-this-is-a-long-one/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania XXXI
Date: March 29, 2015
Location: Levi’s Stadium, Santa Clara, California
Attendance: 76,976
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

This is an interesting show as most people really weren’t looking forward to it. The card isn’t that bad on paper but the interest is still low. Reigns vs. Lesnar isn’t the most exciting main event and the idea of HHH vs. Sting as a regular match is borderline terrifying. The show has surprised me before though so let’s get to it.

The set is HUGE this year with a very wide stage and a big circle for the Titantron looking like a play button on the WWE Network. It’s another open air stadium and since it’s on the west coast, the sun is shining very brightly for a unique look.

Pre-Show: Tag Team Titles: Tyson Kidd/Cesaro vs. Los Matadores vs. Usos vs. New Day

One fall to a finish. Kidd and Cesaro, with Kidd’s wife Natalya, are defending and it’s Kofi Kingston/Big E. (minus the Langston) for New Day with Xavier Woods in their corner. The Usos (in San Francisco 49ers colors) have Jimmy’s wife Naomi and Los Matadores still have El Torito. Cesaro and Kofi start fighting with Kingston scoring a quick dropkick but Diego tags himself in.

A ticked off Cesaro pulls Jey off the apron and whips him into the barricade, re-aggravating a shoulder injury and taking Jey out. Kofi monkey flips Diego for two and gets punched in the face as Jey is being taken to the back. Back to Cesaro for a chinlock before the Swing sends Kofi into Kidd’s dropkick. Kofi gets kicked into the corner so Jimmy can tag himself in for a superkick to Cesaro.

Kidd, Fernando, Big E. and Cesaro are all down in a corner and Jimmy nails the running Umaga hip attack to each one of them. Kofi dives onto Diego as any semblance of the tagging has been abandoned. Kidd springboards into a superkick from Jimmy, who charges into an uppercut from Cesaro. Big E. comes in and launches Kofi into a double knee to Cesaro’s chest for two.

Cesaro’s apron superplex takes Big E. down and Los Matadores add a powerbomb/Backstabber combo to Kofi with Kidd breaking up the pin. Kofi goes after Kidd on the floor but has to catch Torito, allowing Natalya to put the bull in a Sharpshooter to continue a stupid mini feud. Jimmy and Naomi dive onto Kidd, Kofi and Fernando. Back in and the Midnight Hour (Big Ending from Big E. (a powerslam drop) and a middle rope DDT from Kofi) plants Diego with Jimmy and Cesaro making stereo saves.

Fernando switches with Diego for a rollup on Big E. but the referee says he’s not legal. If that’s true, I want to buy that referee a ham sandwich. Big E. picks up Diego and Kidd at the same time but Jimmy breaks it up with a superkick. Kidd eats Trouble in Paradise but Cesaro uppercuts Kofi on top. Los Matadores go up top for a double superplex but Cesaro and Big E. make it a double Tower of Doom. JBL: “OH THE HUMANITY!” Jimmy adds a Superfly splash to Big E. but Cesaro steals the pin at retain at 9:58.

Rating: B. Total and complete insanity here (described as a car wreck by the commentators) which was all it needed to be. They didn’t go with a copy of last year’s match, even though a lot of the participants were the same. Kidd and Cesaro were really clicking as a team and the division as a whole was looking up until Kidd’s injury in June.

Pre-Show: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Adam Rose, Alex Riley, Big E., Big Show, Bo Dallas, Cesaro, Curtis Axel, Damien Mizdow, Darren Young, Diego, Erick Rowan, Fandango, Fernando, Goldust, Heath Slater, Hideo Itami, Jack Swagger, Jimmy Uso, Kane, Kofi Kingston, Konnor, Mark Henry, Ryback, Sin Cara, The Miz, Titus O’Neil, Tyson Kidd, Viktor, Xavier Woods, Zack Ryder

Rose loves to party, Riley is back from injury, Axel is dressed like Hulk Hogan in a gimmick called Axelmania after he was never officially eliminated from the 2015 Royal Rumble, Dallas is a self-obsessed motivational speaker, Mizdow is Sandow copying the Miz as his stunt double (and becoming incredibly popular due to how hard he’s worked at the character), Itami is an NXT guy who won a tournament for this spot and Konnor and Viktor are a power team called the Ascension. The seven people from the opening match are surprise additions to this.

Axel breaks up the brawling to start so he can rip off his shirt, earning himself an elimination from the masses. Everyone keeps fighting until Rose and Fandango eliminate each other. Miz and Mizdow double team Riley and get rid of him with Miz taking the credit. Dallas eliminates Ryder, takes a victory lap, and then gets kicked out by Itami. The fans are way into him so here’s Big Show to eliminate Itami before anyone gets too excited.

Kane gets rid of Los Matadores at the same time and Cesaro does the same to Rose. Henry throws out Kidd but the ring is still WAY too full. Ascension gets rid of Henry and knocks Show down in a stupid move. Ryback dumps Ascension for their brilliance, followed by Young and Slater a few seconds after. Titus goes out too and it’s all Ryback, so Big Show is RIGHT THERE to cut him off.

Show clotheslines Swagger out and takes out all three members of New Day from the apron. You WILL respect Big Show and his amazing strength whether you like it or not. We’re down to Show, Rowan, Uso, Ryback, Cesaro, Goldust, Miz, Mizdow and Kane. The fans are behind Mizdow as Show dumps Rowan.

Ryback gets rid of Goldust but Kane saves Big Show for no logical reason. Miz and Mizdow take a double chokeslam from Kane, who is quickly slammed out by Cesaro. Show dumps Jimmy but gets picked up by Cesaro again, only to escape and dump Cesaro with ease. Ryback grabs a spinebuster on Show and is eliminated for trying to get any momentum.

It’s Miz, Mizdow and Show for the final three but Mizdow FINALLY stands up to Miz and tells him to go do it himself. Miz gets annoyed and yells at him for about a minute as Show just stands back and watch. Mizdow snaps and eliminates Miz and gets to fight Big Show on his own. Some clotheslines have the giant in trouble and Mizdow low bridges him halfway out. Show gets back up and shrugs off a front facelock before easily eliminating Mizdow at 18:08.

Rating: D. So yeah, all hail Big Show, may his name forever be praised, because he’s big and strong and bald and was here back in 1999 so we must give him a win. On top of that, they were trying to push the idea that Big Show had never won a battle royal, ignoring the one he won on Smackdown in 2014 and the one he won on Raw in 2006.

Instead of using this to make Mizdow into someone important, they went with Big Show because he just hasn’t won anything important in a long time. This was it for Mizdow as he would lose the big showdown with Miz less than a month later and pretty much disappear. Big Show on the other hand would do exactly the same thing he’s done for about the last ten years: be treated like a monster and then lose to someone new. Except here of course because Mizdow winning would have been stupid.

Aloe Blacc sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video is hosted by LL Cool J and talks about how entertainment has evolved with everyone being connected. The one thing that has stayed the same though is us as we’ve watched moment after moment in the history of Wrestlemania. That generation at the beginning created what we see today and connects us all together. Tonight, these men and women will take the biggest stage and connect us all. This is Wrestlemania. Cool stuff here and it worked very well.

Intercontinental Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Bad News Barrett vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Stardust vs. Luke Harper vs. R-Truth vs. Dean Ambrose

Ladder match and Barrett is defending after issuing a challenge for a bunch of people to fight him. Stardust is Cody Rhodes as an even freakier version of Goldust. Truth is scared of heights and is going to have some issues in this one. It’s a huge brawl to start and Ambrose takes Harper down with a suicide dive. Stardust jumps off the middle rope and lands on a bunch of people (the Falling Star), leaving Harper to dive on everyone but Ambrose.

Dean climbs a ladder and dives on the other six to put all seven of them down. Truth is the first one back in but he can’t bring himself to climb. It’s Barrett with the save but Bryan dropkicks a ladder into him before whipping Stardust into the ladder to crush Barrett even more. The momentum is stopped as Harper throws the ladder at Bryan but he’s able to tie Harper upside down in the ladder for the YES Kicks.

That earns Bryan a superkick from Ziggler and it’s Dean and Dolph going for a climb. Barrett joins them but Stardust takes out the ladder to put everyone down. The fans chant CODY to freak Stardust out so he throws a ladder at Harper. Stardust goes outside and pulls out his own ladder called the, and I quote, Exo-Atmospheric Starbird. In other words, it’s a ladder covered in glitter.

Barrett will have none of that and breaks a rung off to give Stardust a beating. Dean throws the glitter ladder at Barrett and the glitter falls all over the ring. Now it’s time to bring in two small ladders so Harper and Ambrose can have a duel, capped off by a boot to Dean’s face. Harper lays a smaller ladder on the top rope and rams Dean into it face first. The ladder around Luke’s head takes some people out but Truth drop toeholds Harper down, sending him into the ladder.

Truth sets up the big ladder but Stardust goes for the climb, only to get superplexed back down by Barrett. Bryan, Ziggler and Ambrose go up top until Dean drops down and shoves the ladder over. Dean goes up until Harper powerbombs him off the ladder and through a ladder bridged between the barricade and ring. Ziggler tries a sleeper on Harper as he climbs, followed by the Zig Zag to bring them crashing down.

Somehow Dolph is able to climb up, only to have Barrett pull him down into the Bull Hammer. Another one knocks Truth off but Bryan makes a quick climb and kicks Barrett down. Barrett is right back up though and makes a save, followed by a quick running knee from Bryan, allowing him to climb up, headbutt Ziggler off and win the title at 13:55.

Rating: B. Giving Bryan a title (the fifth different one he’s fought for in five years) is a good idea as it lets the fans get it out of their system with a feel good moment. If he hadn’t won here, the fans would have probably hijacked the show with their DANIEL BRYAN chants because if Bryan isn’t the featured attraction, there’s no way they can possibly enjoy the show. Some fans. Anyway, this was exactly what the match should have been: Money in the Bank but for a title. Unfortunately Bryan would get hurt again and be out of action in less than a month, putting him on the shelf indefinitely.

We recap Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton. Rollins broke up the Shield last year and became the Authority’s young ace, which ticked Orton off. This led to a feud with Rollins putting Orton on the shelf (meaning onto a movie set) with a Curb Stomp onto some steps. Then Orton returned and rejoined the Authority for a few weeks, only to turn on them again and attack Rollins to set this up. After all that stupid, they went with a simpler idea: Orton as the original future of the WWE vs. Rollins as the new future.

Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

Rollins is Mr. Money in the Bank and has Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble as his personal stooges. Seth starts by flipping away from Orton, only to eat a dropkick and bail to the floor from the threat of an RKO. Back in and a big clothesline looks to set up the RKO again but the Stooges offer a distraction to break it up. Orton deals with them early off a double elevated DDT from the apron.

The distraction lets Seth get in his first offense though and Orton is in trouble. A snap suplex gets two and we’re in the chinlock on Orton. Back up and Orton grabs a powerslam, followed by a t-bone suplex to send Rollins to the apron. As luck would have it, he’s in position for the elevated DDT but Seth pops up with an enziguri, followed by an Asai moonsault to put both guys on the floor.

Back in and Randy can’t get a superplex but he’ll settle for a top rope backdrop and a high cross body, only to have Seth roll through for two. A low superkick staggers Orton and Seth tries standing Sliced Bread #2, only to get caught in the RKO for a very close two. That’s a move you don’t see kicked out of very often. The Stooges break up the Punt to keep this PG, allowing Rollins to hit the Curb Stomp for two. Seth tries it again but this time Orton launches him into the air and catches him in the RKO for the pin at 13:15.

Rating: B. Good but not great here with the near falls off the false finishes not having the best heat in the world. That ending is more than worth it though and looked awesome with Orton being able to catch that thing from almost anywhere. Orton is the kind of guy that you can throw in there whenever you need a spot like this and the fans are going to freak out over the RKO every time, especially when it’s something like that. Good stuff.

Ronda Rousey is here.

We recap HHH vs. Sting, which started back at Survivor Series but Sting disappeared for a few months, as is his custom. Sting stood up against the Authority’s corruption so the Authority talked down to him for never being in the big pond before, because WCW’s legacy exists for WWE to stomp on it and beat their chest over the battle that ended fourteen years ago. This turned into a big thing about the Monday Night Wars with Sting being the last soldier from WCW that had to be vanquished.

As a side note, here’s a great example of why Stephanie gets on people’s nerves. On one of the last shows before this match, Sting came out to say that this shouldn’t be about the Monday Night Wars because that would be totally ridiculous. This brought out Stephanie, to insist that it WAS about the Monday Night Wars and barely letting Sting get in another word, because she had spoken and that’s all that mattered.

HHH vs. Sting

No DQ or countout. Sting is played to the ring by some kind of Japanese band with drums and a gong. As you might expect, HHH completely upstages him with a full on Terminator commercial with the robots rising from the stage, a clip from the movie, HHH dressed as a Terminator and Arnold Schwarzenegger himself appearing on screen for the introduction. It might be time to call in Robocop.

They lock up after forty five seconds and a shoulder drops HHH for more stalling. A hiptoss and dropkick put HHH in the corner and Sting is looking better than he has in years. Fans: “YOU STILL GOT IT!” HHH’s right hands and facebuster have little effect as Sting goes for the Scorpion Deathlock (basically a Sharpshooter), sending HHH bailing to the floor. HHH comes back in but gets whipped over the corner as this has been one sided for the first five minutes.

Sting goes to the floor though and the Stinger Splash hits the barricade by mistake, as it’s done all but roughly twice in his career. Back in and HHH whips him across the ring several times until Sting collapses. We hit the chinlock to slow things down again before HHH goes to the middle rope for some reason. He dives into the Scorpion and here’s DX (X-Pac and the New Age Outlaws) for the save.

Sting fights them off with ease and backdrops HHH onto them, setting up a dive off the top (remember that Sting is 56 here) to take them all out. Back in and a Pedigree gets two so HHH gets the sledgehammer (one of at least two under the ring). This brings out the NWO (Hall, Nash and Hogan) to save Sting (SO much wrong with that statement, not even counting trying to remember if the Kliq exists in storylines or not). They take their sweet time and eventually clean house, allowing Sting to hit the Scorpion Death Drop (reverse DDT) for two.

Now the Deathlock goes on and Hogan pulls the sledgehammer away. Gunn takes Nash down and Nash is holding his leg in what almost has to be a rib. Sting tries to put the hold back on but Shawn Michaels runs in for Sweet Chin Music (well the area a few inches in front of the chin that is). HHH only gets two and both guys are done. Shawn hands HHH the hammer but Hall gives Sting a bat for the awesome duel. HHH’s hammer is broken over the bat and Sting pounds away in the corner, only to dive into the sledgehammer to the face for the pin at 18:35.

Rating: B-. This was a blast until the ending which I really didn’t want to see. Of course the quality here was bad but they were never going to get a good match out there so why not just go for the big circus act? I know the logic is that you can’t have Sting come in and beat HHH because he was WCW, but again, IT WAS FOURTEEN YEARS AGO.

Why does anything about the other company matter anymore? Sting came in as a big, fun moment and then it’s HAHA HHH WINS AGAIN! To be fair though, this was his first Wrestlemania win in five years so it’s not like it happens often. Still though, fun stuff but the ending was a punch to the stomach.

Post match HHH shakes Sting’s hand. As in the guy he hit in the face with a hammer two minutes ago. This doesn’t make any sense as HHH is still the corrupt villain, meaning Sting’s original mission should be ongoing. Forget all that though as this was one more rehash of the Monday Night Wars because people still care about that.

Ads for new shows coming to the WWE Network, including the new Divas Search.

Maria Menunos, in a Bushwhackers shirt, brings in Daniel Bryan. First ever Intercontinental Champion Pat Patterson comes in to congratulate him, as do Roddy Piper, Ricky Steamboat, Ric Flair (of course) and Bret Hart, who starts a YES chant. Ron Simmons comes in and scares them all before hitting his catchphrase.

Skylar Grey, Kid Ink and Travis Barker perform the theme songs. Thankfully it wasn’t a full on medley.

AJ Lee/Paige vs. Bella Twins

Real people vs. reality stars (from Total Divas), even though Paige had already become a cast member. Nikki is Divas Champion and in the middle of her reign of doom. Paige debuted at the Raw after Wrestlemania last year and has formed a dream team with AJ to take on the sisters.

Nikki and Paige have a catfight to start with the champ getting the better of it and knocking AJ off the apron. An Alabama Slam gets two on off an Alabama Slam. Brie comes in with a middle rope missile dropkick as the announcers debate the importance of the women not on Total Divas. AJ gets knocked off the apron again and Brie’s running knee to Paige gets two.

Back to Nikki who drops AJ for the third time, followed by the Rack Attack for two on Paige. They’re even kicking out of the finishers in midcard matches now. Paige superkicks Nikki down and both Bellas wind up on the floor, setting up Paige’s flip dive off the apron. The hot tag FINALLY brings in AJ who is quickly slammed down for two but Brie has to save Nikki from the Black Widow. Nikki forearms AJ for two more, only to get caught in the Black Widow for the submission at 6:42.

Rating: C-. This was a handicap match for the first half with Paige cleaning house, which was made even weirder when AJ came in anyway. Not that it mattered though as the Bellas were going to be pushed as the stars as long as they wanted to because of that stupid reality show. In theory this should have set up AJ as the next challenger but she retired later in the week and left the company for good.

We get a tale of the tape for Lesnar vs. Reigns, which Cole says is the result of a computer analysis. The stats include height, weight and career accomplishments. Did this computer analysis take place in the Korean War?

Hall of Fame video, with highlights of Lanny Poffo reading a poem to induct his brother Randy Savage and Connor Michalek receiving the first Warrior Award.

The Class of 2015 includes Rikishi, Larry Zbyszko (mainly famous in the 80s), Alundra Blayze, Connor Michalek, the Bushwhackers (with Butch on crutches but still doing the strut), Tatsumi Fujinami (a legendary Japanese wrestler), Randy Savage (represented by his brother), Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Kevin Nash (for the required Kliq member, though I wonder why he can go in under his real name and not Hall).

We recap John Cena vs. Rusev for the US Title. Rusev, an evil Bulgarian/Russian, won the title late last year and is undefeated. He’s run through all kinds of American stars and even beat Cena via knockout at Fast Lane 2015. Tonight is the big rematch (as granted by Rusev’s manager Lana to plant the seeds for their split) and showdown for the title. This is one of those stories that worked for years and is still working now because it’s such a simple idea.

US Title: Rusev vs. John Cena

Cena is challenging. Rusev’s entrance trumps everything tonight as the Russian military accompanies Lana to the ring before Rusev rolls out IN A TANK. This is so Rocky IV. Cena has a video montage of Presidents of the United States talking about American exceptionalism until Cena walks out. The fans do the always awesome JOHN CENA SUCKS chant to the tune of his music.

The champ spinwheel kicks the American down to start and dives at Cena for a gutwrench suplex (from Rusev in a cool move) for two. A Cannonball in the corner gets the same but Rusev stops to wave the Russian flag. You don’t do that to a real American so Cena kicks him in the face and starts his way too early finishing sequence. The top rope Fameasser gets two but the fans are too busy cheering for Lana to care.

The AA is broken up and a jumping superkick drops Cena cold. Rusev argues with the referee though and Cena hooks a tornado DDT for two more. A quick Alabama Slam (that’s how you do it Nikki) looks to set up the Accolade (Rusev’s camel clutch finisher) but Cena pulls him down into the STF. As Cena does some of the loudest instructing I’ve ever heard (telling Rusev to keep his head up), Lana throws in a shoe for a distraction so Rusev can make the ropes. Seriously, a shoe? You couldn’t like, go yell at him or something? At least it was rather heelish.

Rusev throws him down with a fall away slam, followed by a top rope headbutt of all things for two. He can’t quite get the Accolade though, allowing Cena to kick him away and debut the springboard Stunner for two of his own. Another jumping superkick and a wheelbarrow slam set up the Accolade and the fans are THRILLED. This time Cena powers out and grabs the STF. Lana offers another distraction but Rusev rams into her by mistake, setting up the AA to give Cena the title at 14:43.

Rating: C+. It’s cool to see Cena drop down the card like this as he’s been in the main event for so long now that it’s hard to get into seeing him win the World Title again. The match was good enough even if there was an obvious ending but the Accolade could have stayed on longer. Rusev was built up to lose at a match like this and there’s nothing wrong with that. It would have been interesting to see Rusev escape again here though and have Cena chase him over the summer.

Rusev blames Lana for the loss.

Wrestlemania XXXII is in Dallas.

The pre-show panel talks about the Tag Team Title match and Big Show winning the battle royal. Thanks for reminding me.

Here are HHH and Stephanie to brag about the new attendance record and desperately fill in some time as we have two matches left and nearly an hour and a half to go. Stephanie talks about watching Wrestlemania I live and seeing her friend Andre the Giant (This was a thing for her around this time as she would mention this whenever she could. For some reason this was her justification for not letting Cena be in the Andre battle royal.).

Wrestlemania has grown exponentially since then and it’s all because of the Authority’s leadership. HHH says it’s like he beat everyone here tonight, just like he beat Sting (Buy a ticket, get a hammer to the face!). They own everyone here because the Authority wins. That means they own the people and that means it’s time for the Rock. Cole says Rock has headlined five Wrestlemanias. Are they really still going with the idea that Rock vs. Hogan wasn’t the headliner?

The fans keep cheering until Stephanie asks them to be quiet because we get the idea. Rock tells Stephanie that she doesn’t own the people here, including himself because he was born right around here. As for HHH, he can either go dress up as the Terminator again or they can make a Wrestlemania moment right here and right now. HHH doesn’t seem interested so, just like Rock left his heart in San Francisco, HHH clearly left something back in Connecticut.

Stephanie gets in Rock’s face and says he knows there’s no Rock without the McMahons. Rock’s dad Rocky Johnson would be nowhere without Vince Sr., Vince Jr. and Stephanie. That starts a chant for Shane, which even Cole acknowledges. Rock says that Stephanie would be nowhere without Vince so she slaps him. Stephanie keeps ranting as Rock goes outside……and stands next to Ronda Rousey. Fans: “RONDA’S GONNA KILL YOU!” Rock introduces her to Stephanie but Stephanie says they’re friends already.

Stephanie KEEPS GOING and says this is her ring. Ronda says any ring she steps into is hers so Stephanie can make her leave. Stephanie smiles at her but Rousey gives her a look, which Rock sums up as meaning “she’s going to reach down your throat, pull out your insides and play jump rope with your Fallopian tubes.” HHH tries to interrupt and gets beaten down, including a hiptoss from Rousey. Stephanie loads up the slap but gets her arm bent back with as little force as possible, likely due to UFC contract stipulations. Rousey and Rock stand tall.

There’s no time to recap Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker but it’s what you would expect: Bray wants to be the new evil monster and Undertaker stands in his way. The interesting note here is Bray sprained the heck out of his ankle earlier in the day so he’s nowhere near 100%.

Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker

The awesome entrances continue (well as awesome as a guy holding a lantern when it’s still daylight can be) as Bray walks down the ramp and passes a string of zombies who come to life as he goes by. Undertaker has grown some hair back and looks like he did in 2002. Bray charges into a boot before the bell, though that might be all that ankle can handle for the match.

Some driving shoulders set up Old School (notice that Undertaker’s offense here keeps Bray from having to stand alone) but a running clothesline puts Undertaker on the floor. He lands on his feet though and pulls Bray out to keep up the beating. The apron legdrop staggers Bray even more but he breaks up the big boot with his running cross body. Bray takes his time pounding Undertaker down which makes sense coming from him.

The ankle is fine enough for a running splash in the corner but Bray drops down and puts on a chinlock. For someone as banged up as he is, this is a solid performance from Wyatt. Undertaker’s head is rammed into the post but Bray goes down and holds his ankle. I don’t know why they didn’t do a quick angle during the match to explain the injury. Back in and Bray can’t stand at first.

Undertaker grabs Hell’s Gate but Bray punches his way out before it goes on full. A release Rock Bottom sets up the backsplash for two on Undertaker. Sister Abigail is countered into a chokeslam followed by a Tombstone for two. These near falls are WAY past overdone so far tonight. Another Tombstone is countered into Sister Abigail to freak Bray out even more. Bray does his spider bridge up but Undertaker sits up and glares into Wyatt’s eyes, sending Bray wilting to the mat in a perfect reaction. Bray actually wins a slugout but Sister Abigail is countered into a second Tombstone to give Undertaker the pin at 15:06.

Rating: C+. This match told me a few things. First and foremost, last year’s match was so bad because of the injury. Undertaker looked like his old (emphasis on that word) self here and was nowhere near as off as he was last year. Unfortunately it also tells me that Bray isn’t going to move up the card any time soon.

With the Streak over there’s no real reason for Undertaker to win here, other than to give the fans a feel good moment. Bray was trying as hard as he could on one leg but he could only get so far. Finally, Undertaker is missing something now that the Streak is gone. 21-1 still sounds impressive but it’s just not the same.

Ad for Extreme Rules.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar. Brock has been unstoppable lately after squashing Cena to win the title at Summerslam 2014. Reigns won the Royal Rumble to earn the shot, despite being LOATHED by the crowd at this point. The idea became about him trying to honor his family’s history and legacy which worked to a degree, but no matter what they did, it was still Brock Lesnar on the other side and people wanted to see him massacre Reigns in every way he could think of.

The other problem for Reigns is he hasn’t really earned the spot. Aside from the Rumble, his only major win was last month over Daniel Bryan. This really wasn’t the strongest build in the world and is boiling down to Brock suplexes a lot and Reigns hits him a lot. Roman has been told he can’t beat Brock and his motivation is to prove him wrong. That’s the extent of his motivation and that’s not enough for the main event of Wrestlemania.

WWE World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns

Brock is defending of course. We do the big match intros and Reigns is booed out of the building, following by the fans to quote Heyman’s intro along with him. Roman goes right at Brock to start but gets driven into the corner, setting up the first German suplex. Brock is already bleeding but he hits the F5 inside of thirty seconds. A release fisherman’s suplex sends Reigns flying but he elbows out of a German, drawing incredible booing from the crowd.

Brock no sells a clothesline and now the German sends Reigns across the ring again. Reigns smiles at Brock, earning himself a belly to back suplex and Brock debuting the “SUPLEX CITY” line. Right hands don’t bother Brock either as another German drops Reigns again. Roman keeps smiling so Brock breaks it up with a release German. The fans think this is awesome as Brock forearms Reigns off the apron and into the barricade. As he gets back in, Reigns scores with a knee to the ribs, followed by some kicks to the face but Brock catches a foot and knocks Reigns silly with a clothesline.

A belly to belly overhead brings Reigns back in over the top rope but Reigns shakes his head at Brock again. Another F5 gets two and now Brock take the gloves off. Some hard slaps put Reigns down but he tells Brock to bring it on. Another German earns him another bring it on so Brock gives him suplex number ten. The third F5 gets two more, putting Reigns past Undertaker last year. Brock takes Roman outside but Reigns posts him, drawing some real blood from Lesnar.

Back in and Brock is wobbly so Roman its two straight Superman Punches. That gets him to a knee but Reigns has to elbow out of another German. The third Superman Punch puts Brock down and there’s the spear. Brock is up though so a second spear gets a VERY close two. Heyman is on his knees praying as the fans are booing Roman even more. A fourth Superman Punch is countered into a fourth F5…….AND HERE COMES SETH ROLLINS TO CASH IN MONEY IN THE BANK!

WWE World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins

The Curb Stomp puts Brock down but Reigns has to spear Brock down to save Seth from an F5. Another Curb Stomp (and a whisper of “thank you so much” to Reigns) gives Seth the title at 16:43!

Rating: A-. They went in a TOTALLY different direction here and it was the best thing they possibly could have done. Reigns vs. Lesnar had little interest as a match but as a one sided war with Reigns giving it everything he had near the end, they turned it into one of the most dramatic spectacles you could find. They had me on the near fall after that second spear and I lost it when Rollins came out.

That ending was a stroke of brilliance as they didn’t want to job Lesnar but they didn’t want to give Reigns the title yet. Rollins had been the wrestler of the year in 2014 and it made much better sense to give him the credit that he deserved for it here. Great drama, great action, and a way better match that it had any right to be.

Fireworks and posing take us out.

Overall Rating: B+. I actually liked this show a lot more live, which probably had a lot to do with the expectations being so low coming in. With more time to think about it and the shock of the cash in being gone, it’s still a really strong show that FAR exceeded expectations. The main event was great and most of the other stuff was good. Aside from the main event there really isn’t a big blow away match though and that hurts things a bit.

The entire show was set up differently this year as there were very few backstage segments and the show was able to fly by otherwise. However, there was that big twenty plus minute segment with Rock/HHH/Stephanie and that’s what caused a big part of this show’s problem: it’s too long.

Counting the two hour pre-show and it’s nearly thirty minutes of wrestling, this show runs nearly six hours. It doesn’t matter if it’s the greatest show you’ve ever watched; that’s too long. There had to be something that could be cut in here (hint: it was the long part that didn’t involve a match), even though none of the matches broke twenty minutes. Between the big talking segment and the live performance, which still adds nothing to the show, there’s too much in here and it makes for a very long sit.

Overall though, this was a major surprise and a better show than it had any right to be. The low expectations helped it a lot, but this was looking like one of the worst Wrestlemanias in history and wound up being a lot of fun. Nothing on it really stands out above the rest (save for maybe the main event) so the whole is greater than the sum of all its parts. Really fun show here.

Ratings Comparison

New Day vs. Los Matadores vs. Usos vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd

Original: C+

Redo: B

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: D+

Redo: D

Intercontinental Title Ladder Match

Original: B

Redo: B

Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

Original: B

Redo: B

Sting vs. HHH

Original: B

Redo: B-

Paige/AJ Lee vs. Bella Twins

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Rusev vs. John Cena

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker

Original: B

Redo: C+

Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: B+

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: B+

Yeah the shock had a lot to do with it but there was good stuff throughout.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/03/29/wrestlemania-xxxi-shock-and-awe-shock-and-awe/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

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