Battleground 2016
Date: July 24, 2016
Location: Verizon Center, Washington D.C.
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

This is an interesting show as the Draft has made what was just a pit stop before Summerslam into a nearly meaningless show which happens to have something that could have been a co-main event of Wrestlemania. Other than that we have some nothing midcard matches, six man tags where two of the teams will be split starting tomorrow and a mystery partner. You might call this a mixed bag. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Usos vs. Breezango

Just a thrown together match. Jimmy hits a backbreaker on Fandango to start before it’s quickly off to Breeze. Some double teaming lets Breeze snap Jey’s throat across the top rope and we hit the chinlock. A few kicks to the face/head drop Breezango and it’s off to Jimmy via the hot tag.

Everything breaks down and it’s a series of kicks to put Breeze on the floor. Tyler comes back in to save Fandango from an electric chair, only to have Jey cross body both of them. The Superfly Splash gets two on Tyler before another superkick puts Fandango outside. A running superkick looks to set up the Superfly Splash again but Breeze gets his knees up, allowing him to grab a small package for the pin at 5:28.

Rating: C+. This was a very fast paced match and above all else the right team won. The Usos don’t need to win matches like this one while Breezango needs to get some wins under their belts to actually become an important team. I still like Breezango and they’re a great example of making something out of nothing. Why can that almost never happen otherwise?

The opening video shows everyone holding their flags before going to a package on the Shield imploding to set up this match.

Charlotte/Dana Brooke vs. Sasha Banks/???

So Sasha has been going for Charlotte’s title but keeps having to deal with Dana, hence bringing in a mystery partner. The mystery partner is…..Bayley, in one of the worst kept secrets in a long time. Like, since Tuesday. The place goes insane for Bayley so that’s certainly the solid debut.

Charlotte and Dana jump them from behind before the bell and Bayley is sent into the barricade. We get the official start with Charlotte hammering away in the corner until Bayley gets in the jumping middle rope elbow. It’s off to Sasha who botches a hurricanrana before Charlotte sends her into the middle buckle.

Dana’s chinlock doesn’t go anywhere so it’s off to Bayley who is taken down just as quickly. Bayley and Dana collide as JBL talks about this being a one off appearance for Bayley on the main roster. I really, really can’t imagine that’s true. Sasha comes in off the tag and everything breaks down with Charlotte hitting Natural Selection for two on Banks. Dana saves the Bank Statement but Bayley takes her to the floor, setting up the second Bank Statement to make Charlotte tap at 7:24.

Rating: C+. This was much more about the crowd reaction than anything else and that worked like a charm. What won’t work like a charm is having Bayley just go back to NXT at this point. Is there any real reason to not have her on the main roster full time at this point? She can do the build to Takeover and still do this stuff just fine but for some reason they want to just have this be a one off. Maybe it’s to keep Sasha hot, but then again maybe they should have thought of that THREE MONTHS AGO WHEN SHE WAS THE HOTTEST THING IN THE DIVISION AND WE DIDN’T DO THE WAY TOO LONG NATALYA FEUD.

Sasha and Bayley hug post match.

We recap the Wyatt Family vs. New Day. The Wyatts returned with Bray’s face turn completely forgotten and went after New Day and their power of positivity message. Bray got in Xavier Woods’ head and started to psych him out but with the Wyatts being split by the Draft, most of that has been dropped.

Wyatt Family vs. New Day

Before the match, New Day says they’re just not scared. Woods and Strowman start but it’s off to Bray to really scare Xavier. Actually make that Kofi, who dropkicks Wyatt while Woods is frozen in the corner. Rowan comes in with a slam and grabs a head vice before Bray drops his running backsplash. A clothesline turns Kofi inside out and Woods has to drop down to the floor in fear. Kofi gets away from Braun and makes the hot tag to Big E. as everything breaks down.

Braun gets kicked to the floor and taken down by a Kofi dive (less than a year ago Dean Ambrose’s dive bounced off of him). Woods saves Kofi from Sister Abigail but it’s time for the big psychic staredown. It takes Kofi coming in off the top to wake Woods up and he goes off on Bray with a running forearm and right hands in the corner. A top rope splash crushes Bray and a superkick (SHOT!) puts Erick on the floor. Big E. spears Rowan off the apron but Bray’s spider walk freaks Woods out and sets up Sister Abigail for the pin at 8:50.

Rating: B. Well that happened. I have no idea what the point is in having these guys win unless they’re either splitting up the New Day (stupid) or having…..actually that’s it for their options. I mean, there’s always the chance that this loss means nothing and they’ll just have New Day go on like it’s nothing, which is probably the direction they’re going with for the sake of stupidity.

US Title: Rusev vs. Zack Ryder

Rusev is defending after Ryder won a few matches (ignore the clean loss to Sheamus in two minutes of course) and challenged for the title. Lana, now in a tiara, introduces the champ. Ryder is in red, white and blue to really hammer this home. Rusev throws him into the corner to start but Ryder comes back with a middle rope dropkick….which completely misses.

A low superkick drops Ryder and it’s time for heavy right hands. Ryder elbows out of a waistlock and fires off some forearms in the corner. A neckbreaker stuns the champ as we’re firmly in the false hope portion of the match. Rusev knocks him to the floor but Ryder hits a dropkick off the barricade. Back in and the Rough Ryder sets up the Elbro but Rusev gets the knees up. The jumping superkick and the Accolade put Ryder away at 7:03.

Rating: D+. Zack Ryder loses to Rusev because that’s what Zack Ryder does. Ryder is getting better at losing to Rusev as he finally broke five minutes against him. I really don’t think anyone believed this was going to happen and there was no reason to assume anything else. Ryder isn’t going to beat someone like Rusev and it’s foolish to think he would.

Post match the beating continues until Mojo Rawley debuts to make the save, thereby setting up nothing at all since he’s on Smackdown while Rusev is on Raw.

Seth Rollins comes in to see Mick Foley and Stephanie McMahon (GET SETH AWAY FROM HER! NOW!) and the bosses tell him to bring the title back to Raw. Rollins isn’t worried because he’s just that awesome and promises that there will be a bunch of Rollins babies in about nine months.

We recap Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens who are fighting because they’re Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens. They’ve hated each other for years now and they still are, though this was supposed to be the final fight until the Draft put them on the same show, negating the purposes of the idea.

Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens

Zayn’s attempted Helluva Kick sends Owens to the floor and they immediately start the brawl. Back in and Owens sends him into the corner for two off the Cannonball. Owens even stomps on Sami’s hand as we hit the OLE chants. We hit the chinlock with Owens mocking the SAMI chants because he’s just that awesome. Back up and the Michinoku Driver gets two on Owens but he’s able to break up the flip dive before Sami can dive.

Instead Sami tries the slingshot moonsault but slips up and lands shoulder first on the apron. The shoulder is fine enough for Owens to work it over so you know he’s ok. The Blue Thunder Bomb gets two back inside so I’m going to assume Sami is fine. Owens can’t get a superplex so he settles for a superkick and Crossface. Sami finally crawls over to the rope and grabs the exploder into the corner. He gets caught on top though and has to escape a Death Valley Driver on the apron, meaning it’s the closest thing we’ll see to the BRAINBUSTAHHHHHHH in WWE.

Owens beats the count by a few seconds and they slug it out to dueling chants. The diving DDT is broken up and Owens hits a Cannonball with Sami still draped over the bottom rope. I love it when they tweak moves like that. The Bullfrog splash gets two on Sami but he counters the Pop Up Powerbomb into the tornado DDT. Yet another Helluva Kick is countered with another superkick as they keep countering each others’ big moves due to being so familiar with one another.

Sami escapes another powerbomb attempt and hits back to back half and half suplexes for two and a standing ovation. The Pop Up Powerbomb connects but Sami gets his foot on the ropes. Owens starts slapping him as Sami says bring it, setting up another exploder into the corner. The Helluva Kick sends Owens falling into Sami’s arms, setting up a second Helluva Kick for the clean pin at 18:26.

Rating: A. Can we just give these two the match of the night honors whenever they’re on the card? There’s such a chemistry here and I’d love to see them as partners who can’t stand each other. Owens is almost being turned face by sheer force of the crowd but it’s almost impossible to go against someone as loveable as Sami. Either way, great match with a great story and outstanding action to go with it.

Cole says Sami has exorcized his demons by beating Owens. Those must be quick rise demons as he pinned Owens about a month ago on Raw in a singles match.

Pre-show recap.

Natalya vs. Becky Lynch

Fallout from Natalya vs. Charlotte when Natalya turned on Becky. Natalya tries to bail to start but she’s just suckering Becky in and scoring with a dropkick. It’s already time to go after the knee with a side leg lock but she has to get out of a quick Disarm-Her. A stomp onto the leg sets up another leglock and Natalya gets in a quick nipup. An enziguri with the good leg gives Becky a breather before the Bexploder gets two. Becky gets two more off a missile dropkick but it bangs up the leg, setting up the Sharpshooter for the submission at 9:00.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t feeling this one, especially after the classic beforehand. Natalya winning is fine and they did a good story with the leg and such but it’s still just a match with a pretty lame story. I have no idea what they’re going to do with the women on Smackdown but PLEASE don’t bring in a second title at this point, especially with how much the talent falls off after these two.

Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan give Dean Ambrose a pep talk.

Intercontinental Title: Darren Young vs. The Miz

Young is challenging after winning a battle royal. He also has Bob Backlund in his corner in an attempt to make Young great again. Ignore the lack of preceding greatness. Young wrestles him down to the mat before getting two off a neckbreaker. Miz shoves him off the top to take over and then grabs a headlock.

Miz’s corner clothesline is cut off with another clothesline. The Crossface Chickenwing sends Miz bailing to the floor but Backlund won’t let him leave. Maryse slaps Backlund and they both go down, only to have Backlund rip his shirt off. Miz goes after Backlund so Young grabs a cobra clutch on the floor as the bell rings (I think for a DQ?) at 8:40.

Rating: D. Well that happened and we can add another entry to the list of things that seem to be setting up a rematch but there’s no logical way to have the rematch happen under the current rules because HAHA DRAFT. Young shouldn’t have won the title here and it wouldn’t have made sense for him to, though the Backlund thing has some more mileage in it, especially if it gives Young a personality.

Young chokes Miz out and looks at his hands ala Backlund in 1994.

We recap Cena/Amore/Cass vs. the Club. Cena was tired of getting beaten down by the trio so Enzo and Big Cass came out to help him, setting this up. Again though, the Club was split up so this doesn’t exactly have the same meaning.

The Club vs. John Cena/Enzo Amore/Big Cass

Enzo says his team is 4G and they’re very well connected. He keeps going on a rant with life advise (always lie on your resume and never make eye contact with someone while eating a banana) and also suggests a good dentist and therapist. Cena is dying in the corner listening to this and Cass tells the crowd to give it up for Enzo after that performance. Cass insults AJ’s haircut and suggests that he make a lunch like a soccer mom (“Make sure to cut the crust off.”). Then he can take the kids to Raw and remember the time they took a beating in Washington D.C.

Enzo and AJ start things off and we hit the SOCCER MOM chants. That earns Enzo a dropkick to the face so it’s off to Cass to face Anderson. We get the standard Cass throws Enzo at people spot as Cena isn’t sure what to think. Cass tosses Styles out as well before slamming Enzo onto Anderson, leaving Cena wondering why he can’t get a tag. Things settle down to Gallows working on Enzo with his heavy offense. Anderson comes in with a bicycle kick to the head (Karl: “HI YAH!”) to set up a chinlock.

The beating continues until Gallows misses a splash, setting up the hot tag to Cena. A very quick AA attempt on Styles is countered into a Pele as everything breaks down. Gallows hits a chokebomb on Cass before Cena and Luke play pass the Enzo, only to have AJ hit the forearm on Gallows by mistake. The AA gets two on AJ with Karl making the save, setting up a spinebuster onto the table.

Cena dives back in at nine and the Styles Clash gets another near fall with Cass making the save. The Club takes out Cass so Enzo volunteers to fight them himself. Karl is sent into the post but Gallows kicks Enzo in the face, only to have Cena come back in and take Luke out. Styles comes back in but gets caught in a super AA for the pin at 14:23.

Rating: B. So that’s your setup for Cena vs. AJ II which probably should be for the Smackdown World Title if such a thing exists. Cena pinning AJ in a tag match is fine and sets things moving forward a bit more but the bigger thing here is Enzo and Cass looking like they’re on a much higher level than they were just a few weeks ago. These guys are looking like something important, which you never expect to see for people who debuted just three and a half months ago.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel with the returning Randy Orton. Randy really seems happy to be back and is definitely here as a face. He talks about being gone for nine months to get back to this point and he’s stuck here with this loser. Jericho says Orton being in this ring with him puts Orton on a different level. That makes Orton think he should drop Jericho with an RKO out of nowhere so Jericho sums up the last few months for him, including the tacks going into his back a little while ago.

Jericho offers the Gift of Jericho and Orton walks up to him, shaking Jericho up a bit. Orton says it was just to see the hair because it looks like Ellen DeGeneres’. We see a clip of Lesnar talking about hurting people but Orton is ready to go to Suplex City. See, it takes twenty suplexes to get there but it only takes one RKO to go to Viperville, NO ENHANCEMENT NEEDED. Even the crowd gasps at that one. Jericho suggests that Orton is in trouble and teases Orton about the RKO, which eventually hits, albeit not out of nowhere. This took WAY longer than it should have but that enhancement line was great.

We recap the Shield triple threat which is well over a few years in the making. The short version consists of Rollins returning from knee surgery and taking the title from Reigns, only to have Ambrose take it away that same night. This set up the triple threat but Reigns has been suspended for a month due to a Wellness violation.

WWE World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose

Ambrose is defending but before we can get going, here are all four authority figures (because there are four authority figures in WWE). We get the big match intros and the three way staredown before Rollins is knocked to the floor. Ambrose rolls Reigns up for two and eats a big clothesline for his efforts.

Rollins gets caught in a Samoan Drop but Ambrose takes them both down as they’re only just out of first gear. Roman is sent outside and we get Rollins vs. Ambrose for the third time this week. They head to the floor as well with Ambrose going into the steps and Roman going into the barricade. This is the rather dull part of the match where they haven’t cranked it up yet and there’s clearly at least another ten minutes in the match so we’re kind of stuck waiting.

All three wind up in the timekeeper’s area for a bit before Ambrose missile dropkicks Reigns for two. The standing elbow drop gets two but Rollins comes back in to break up the cover. Roman gets in a Superman Punch to Rollins but Ambrose runs him over to put all three down. Now it’s Reigns getting double teamed with both guys scoring off running dives to the floor. We see the locker rooms watching (I’m sure that’s completely authentic) as Reigns is powerbombed through the announcers’ table.

Back in and the Buckle Bomb is countered with a hurricanrana into the corner to put both guys down. Rollins is still able to run up the corner for the superplex into the falcon’s arrow for the first near fall. Reigns comes back in to break up a superplex on Rollins, setting up a sitout powerbomb for two on Seth. The champ ducks the Superman Punch but can’t hit Dirty Deeds, allowing the Punch to knock Dean outside. Rollins gets a very close fall off a Pedigree to Reigns, only to have the spear cut him in half. Ambrose scores with a quick Dirty Deeds to pin Reigns at 18:05.

Rating: B+. This started slowly but got a lot better as things went on. I’m really hoping that’s not it for the Reigns punishment as just losing in a pay per view main event isn’t exactly the worst thing in the world. Ambrose winning makes sense as Smackdown needs something to fight over and I’m sure Raw will still get their shots in the future. This would have been better served on a bigger stage but it really did need to happen.

JBL goes NUTS with a big rant about how great Smackdown is, completely forgetting how much he can’t stand Ambrose. The Smackdown locker room comes out because this allegedly means something.

Overall Rating: B+. As is so often the case anymore, strong wrestling by the younger guys brings these shows up a few notches. The main event was solid and you had a classic in the middle of the show plus a very fun moment in the opener. The midcard stuff really holds this back though as there’s a stretch in there of Natalya vs. Lynch which should have been on the pre-show to help keep this from ending at 11:15.

I’m fine with extra wrestling but there was really no need for the bonus tag when you could move something to the pre-show instead to free up some time. Still though, good stuff as WWE’s PPVs continue to be better than they have any right to be. Check out Zayn vs. Owens though, in case you somehow haven’t seen them fight before.

Results

Sasha Banks/Bayley b. Charlotte/Dana Brooke – Bank Statement to Charlotte

Wyatt Family b. New Day – Sister Abigail to Woods

Rusev b. Zack Ryder – Accolade

Sami Zayn b. Kevin Owens – Helluva Kick

Natalya b. Becky Lynch – Sharpshooter

The Miz b. Darren Young via DQ when Bob Backlund interfered

John Cena/Enzo Amore/Big Cass b. The Club – Super AA to Styles

Dean Ambrose b. Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins – Dirty Deeds to Reigns

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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This show has gone from one of the most B level shows ever to one of the least important shows in a very long time. It’s still definitely just a filler show before we get to Summerslam but then the Draft has made the whole thing even more of a mess. You could tell things were all over the place when basically two matches were hyped up during the TV shows leading up to the pay per view. Let’s get to it.

We’ll open with the quick pre-show match between the Usos and Breezango. The Usos are the definintion of “just there” and it’s getting harder and harder to care about them. Breezango may not be the most exciting team in the world but it’s still cool to see them getting even the most moderate push. There’s no reason to have the Usos, who haven’t done a thing in a long time, win here so we’ll go with Breezango getting their biggest win ever.

Let’s get this one out of the way: Rusev squashes Zack Ryder and no sells his comeback because that’s what happens to Ryder. The mini push means nothing and they made that very clear as soon as they had Sheamus beat him clean in two minutes. Ryder loses to Rusev like he always does as we continue to wait for a serious challenger to the title.

We’ll continue the midcard title theme with Miz beating Darren Young. I love the Backlund segments but I just can’t imagine them actually giving him the title. He won the battle royal almost by mistake and hasn’t won anything of note on his own. Why would I buy him as a midcard champion already? Miz holding the title longer is fine as the big win over him is going to mean even more when he’s been built up that long.

In another match that’s just kind of there, we’ll go with Becky Lynch over Natalya. I barely remember why they’re fighting at this point and I can’t imagine WWE really cares either way. This might as well be for the Smackdown Women’s Title as the division is basically these two and everyone else, which really does show why there’s no need to either bring up all the new women or to put the women on both shows. Becky wins here because it’s not like Natalya needs much to restore her to her eternal spot on the card.

While we’re here we’ll knock out the other women’s match as Sasha Banks and a mystery partner team up to face Charlotte and Dana Brooke. This is basically Sasha needing help after all the weeks of Charlotte and Dana beating her up so it’s time for her to get some backup. There are some new women on the Raw roster but there’s almost no way it’s not going to be Bayley. If there’s ever been a bigger layup for a mystery partner on a pay per view five days after the latest WWE Draft to debut in a women’s tag, I can’t think of it off the top of my head.

That being said, Bayley isn’t going to be a factor here because this whole thing exists for Sasha to make Charlotte tap in the middle of the ring and set up their big showdown at Summerslam. It’s still a great way to debut Bayley as she’ll get her own big moment instead of being yet another name being brought up on Draft night. She’ll be one of the first challengers to Sasha’s new title and the debut should be fun.

In the first of two matches that don’t mean much now that everything has changed, New Day faces the Wyatt Family in a six man tag with no titles on the line. The Wyatts have been split up by the Draft while New Day gets to keep going on their longest (modern) reign ever as Tag Team Champions. The whole Xavier Woods is terrified thing has gone nowhere so and I’d be interested in seeing where they were going to go had it not been for the split. Hopefully this wraps it up and we see New Day vs. the Club for the titles at Summerslam. But yeah, New Day wins here with ease.

The other match is basically the same story as John Cena teams up with Enzo Amore/Big Cass to face the soon to be split Club. In theory this is designed to set up AJ vs. Cena for Summerslam in their big rematch so we’ll say the Club pins Enzo here. Above all else I love the idea that they’re not going to just have the rematch here and then burn through the feud even faster. There are other ways to keep the feud going and I’ll never understand why they have to just keep doing the same match over and over again. At least this is working for not though.

Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens are having their FINAL match against each other despite them being on the same roster for reasons that I still don’t understand. My hope is that they eventually team up and fight New Day (or the Club) for the titles as teammates who are forced to work together and happen to have great chemistry despite not being able to stand each other. I’ll take Sami winning here in a fluke but it’s probably my least confident pick of the show.

That leaves us with the main event and egads where do I even start. So it’s the big Shield triple threat that people have wanted to see for years and not only are they throwing it on this show instead of Summerslam but it’s less than a week after the Draft so everything is thrown apart and it’s not clear how things go after this. Oh and Reigns has been suspended for freaking Adderall of all things so he hasn’t been around to help build things up. It’s almost like this is a mess and should have been postponed for a bigger show.

I’ll take Rollins to win the title after the rather pointless double title matches from earlier in the week. Ambrose has been taking the ratings and Reigns would just be destroyed (like more than usual) if he wins the title back already so there’s just Rollins left. Now the key for him would be to stay FAR away from HHH and Stephanie as they destroyed his first title reign, but given who runs Raw I can’t imagine she won’t have her fingers all over the new reign. I’ll go with Rollins to get the title back though and Ambrose to drop right back to where he was before.

Overall Battleground is……well it certainly exists. This is one of those shows that doesn’t need to be there and is pretty clearly just a way to promote Summerslam in a few weeks. I’m not really looking forward to the show but that might be more due to the fact that we’re in for four hours tonight, three tomorrow and two each on Tuesday and Wednesday. Tonight is going to be all about matches exceeding expectations though and while that’s possible, I don’t have the greatest hope in the world.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 18, 2016
Location: Dunkin’ Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield

This is a unique show as it’s kind of a big night but also kind of a lame duck show while also being the go home show for a pay per view. The Draft is tomorrow night but there’s also a World Title match as champion Dean Ambrose defends against Seth Rollins. The show is also going to open with the announcement of the new General Managers for both shows. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here are Shane and Stephanie to open things up. They have their standard bickering that makes award show presenters seem like Bogart and Bergman before arguing over testicles vs. lady balls. Stephanie’s big announcement: there’s going to be a new Cruiserweight division on Raw. Shane mentions his General Manager and the YES chants begin. That’s cut off just as quickly though as Stephanie Raw’s General Manager: Mick Foley. I wouldn’t have bet on that one but I’d be shocked if he’s still around by TLC.

After Stephanie awkwardly dances to his music. Foley compares the feeling here to the Attitude Era because IT’S THE GREATEST THING EVER and feels like the MONDAY NIGHT WARS ALL OVER AGAIN BABY! Stephanie calling him made the little embers turned into a fire. He’s ready to bring Raw to new heights and all that jazz.

Shane brings out his own General Manager with the worst kept secret in wrestling this year: Daniel Bryan. Daniel won’t shake Stephanie’s hand before he talks about how much he missed the people. Naturally Stephanie cuts him off to suggest he pander to the fans. See she doesn’t get it because they’ve never cheered for her. Stephanie: “They did once!”

Bryan talks about how he heard Shane’s ideas for a show where wrestlers are put first and he wanted to come back. When he beat HHH at Wrestlemania XXX (Stephanie: “Technicality.”) and won the WWE World Title, he and the fans did that together. Stephanie gets in her B+ jokes and Shane says Stephanie can only stay relevant by marrying a WWE superstar. One last YES chant takes us out.

Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn/Cesaro

Cesaro gutwrenches Jericho to start before it’s off to Sami so things can speed up a bit. An Owens distraction lets Jericho get in a shot though and we take a break. Back with Jericho still in control over Sami and sending him out to the floor. Sami gets in a few shots of his own though and the hot tag brings in Cesaro.

That means it’s time for the uppercut train and the springboard spinning uppercut for two on Jericho. Owens and Sami come in off the double tags but Jericho breaks up the Helluva Kick. Cesaro’s high cross body gets two on Chris and the Swing makes it even worse. Everything breaks down and Sami tornado DDTs Owens before small packaging Jericho for the pin at 12:02.

Rating: C. In case you didn’t get enough of these guys during the Money in the Bank build. I love Sami getting a pin here though it should be interesting to see what happens with all four of these guys tomorrow night. Jericho and Cesaro not having matches on Sunday doesn’t say much for either of them but that’s their norm all around.

Golden Truth, Titus O’Neil and Jack Swagger try to get on Daniel Bryan’s good side until Stephanie interrupts. They insult each other (with jabs about Daniel and Brie planting peaches) for a bit until Daniel says she ruined Raw.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Darren Young

Miz is on commentary. Del Rio sends him into the corner to start and works on the arm as Miz gets in his second plug for Bob Backlund’s book. Young comes back with a backdrop and atomic drop as we flash back to the 70s. A Miz distraction earns himself a forearm to the face, allowing Darren to roll up Del Rio (with a Backlund style bridge) for the pin at 2:33.

It’s time for a twelve man tag but Cena comes out first and says it’s an interesting time in WWE with Battleground being the icing on the cake. The Club is going to try to beat up Cena on Sunday but he has the Certified G’s. Enzo says the term “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate so don’t take this the wrong way but the Club is like a bunch of herbs.

Without ugliness in the world there can be no beauty so thanks for your sacrifice Gallows. AJ has a haircut like a soccer mom and Anderson is as generic as Times New Roman. Cena thinks Enzo is just a catchphrase machine but Cass says that’s what he does. That’s what makes them the best trio in the world like Nirvana, Destiny’s Child or the Wu Tang Clan.

Enzo: “How you doin?” Cena: “I don’t know how I’m doing!” He thinks they need to get serious but the Club cuts off the S-A-W-F-T line. AJ accuses them of meeting a few weeks ago over a bowl of candy at catering and thinks they can beat up everyone on the team tonight. Cue New Day to talk about going to the Wyatts’ compound but AJ makes fun of Woods for being scared.

That goes nowhere so New Day explains How You Doin to Cena. Naturally this turns into a Pokemon Go reference with Woods listing off the ones he’s captured but Cena cuts him off, only to be cut off with a NEW DAY ROCKS chant. This brings out the Wyatts as it turns out we actually have a match to get to.

John Cena/Enzo Amore/Big Cass/New Day vs. The Club/Wyatt Family

This is joined in progress after a break with Gallows coming in to shoulder Cena down. That brings in Big E. for a power showdown, only to have a little gyrating first. Now we get Strowman coming in to run Big E. over but Enzo tags himself in. Woods plays some trombone and Enzo bounces off Strowman so it’s time for Cass to try his luck. A shove to Cena triggers a huge brawl until it’s back to Strowman and Cass with the big boot staggering Braun. Kofi tries to dive in but gets slammed down by Braun as we take a break.

While we’re on commercial, it deserves to be pointed out how good of a job they’ve done with Cass. Him staring down Strowman felt more like a big deal than anytime Lesnar did it and I actually bought Cass as a threat to hurt him. That’s very impressive and a great sign for him to come.

Back with Bray charging into Kofi’s pendulum kick and a diving tag to bring in Cena. The finishing sequence is initiated but Bray brings the spider walk out of mothballs to shut him down. Rowan grabs a chinlock and the heels start taking turns on Cena. Gallows misses a splash and we take another break.

We come back again with Bray missing his backsplash to Cena, allowing the hot tag to Cass. Everything breaks down again and New Day cleans house on the Wyatts. Woods hits a big flip dive to take them all out but Gallows breaks up Bada Book Shakalacka. New Day and the Wyatts fight up the ramp, leaving Enzo to clothesline Cena by mistake. The Styles Clash ends Amore at 18:58.

Rating: B+. This is even more impressive when you consider how many people had to be incorporated here. The ending really pushes the idea that Cena/Enzo/Cass don’t know each other well enough to fight off a well oiled machine like the Club which is a really logical point to make. New Day vs. Wyatts could be a lot of fun and this was a nice preview. Really good stuff here with the pre-match promo being just as great.

Earlier today, Seth Rollins was in the empty arena (well save for the cameramen) to talk about how they came through so many stands to fight. He was the brilliant mind and kept Ambrose around to take the beatings and Reigns around to dish them out. After Sunday, Reigns will never be the same again. Ambrose on the other hand is a coward who is running out of places to hide. This Sunday, Rollins will prove he was always the man.

We recap the opening segment.

Shane comes up to Foley in the back and suggests that Stephanie just hired him because he’ll connect with the fans while being manipulated. Foley appreciates the caring but thinks Stephanie has fire and drive. This would be another beloved face trying to put Stephanie over.

Baron Corbin vs. Sin Cara

This is Cara’s first match after the Lucha Dragons officially split. Corbin sends him into the corner to start but gets kicked away. A springboard elbow to the jaw staggers him but End of Days gives Baron the pin at 1:15.

Kalisto comes out for the post match save but gets beaten down as well.

Charlotte/Dana Brooke vs. Becky Lynch/Sasha Banks

Dana gets taken into the corner to start and it’s time for Becky’s early armbar. The spinning legdrop gets two on Dana but here’s Natalya to attack Lynch for the DQ at 2:22.

Sasha gets beaten down post match.

Rusev/Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler/Zack Ryder

Sheamus headlocks Ryder down to start and cuts off his comeback by hitting him in the face a few times. Rusev sends him into the barricade and it’s back to Sheamus for the slow beating. Sheamus won’t tag for some reason though and we hit the chinlock. Ryder dropkicks him down and makes the hot tag off to Ziggler as everything breaks down. Rusev kicks Ziggler in the back and it’s the Accolade for the submission at 3:45.

Rating: D+. Just a quick way to show off the idea that Rusev is awesome because we didn’t know that yet. Ryder needed a win here after that mess last week against Sheamus. Ryder is going to get destroyed on Sunday and I’m not sure where things go after that. Sheamus n the other hand continues to float, just like Ziggler. And no WWE, that’s not a hint about a bonus match for Sunday.

Video on Randy Orton.

Video on Cena hosting the ESPYs.

Daniel suggests a peace treaty with Mick Foley because they’re so much alike. Foley has no issue with Bryan but the battle is on.

Raw World Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins is challenging and all the bosses are at ringside. Dean headlocks him to start and Seth bails out to the floor. The champ sends him into the barricade and we take a break. Back with Seth in control and putting on a chinlock. A hard right hand gives Seth some near falls before both try cross bodies at the same time. Dean fights up first and hammers on Seth a bit, including a forearm to put him on the floor.

There’s a big suicide dive but Rollins powerbombs him into the barricade. Back in and a frog splash gets two as we take another break. Back with Seth still in control and hitting his springboard knee to the head. Another frog splash misses though and Dean has an opening. It sounds like the fans are cheering for Rollins here.

Dirty Deeds gets two with Rollins putting his foot on the ropes. Seth rolls outside but comes right back in and counters the top rope clothesline into the Pedigree for two. With nothing else working, Seth loads up a superplex but Dean ties up the legs and it’s a double pin at 24:18.

Rating: B+. More really good stuff from these two but the ending comes off as a cheap way to have Sunday’s title match be for the vacant title. You knew they weren’t sticking with Ambrose on top for long because he’s not the “star” kind of guy and that’s the excuse they’re sticking with. I mean, Rollins may be a ratings disaster but he’s a STAR ratings disaster. Really good match here though and a big feeling title match.

Stephanie (of course) declares Rollins the new champion and Shane doesn’t say anything to close the show. You know you’ll see more of this on Sunday.

Overall Rating: A-. Like I said at the beginning, this was a very odd show without anything actually mattering until the ending but even that was odd. I’m sure there’s going to be an update tomorrow night but this comes off as a way to either set up a new World Title or to just give the belt back to Reigns like nothing ever happened. There are two great wrestling matches on here though and they were more than enough to make this show awesome, questionable ending aside.

So apparently after the show went off the air, a bonus clip aired on the Network where Ambrose was declared champion because it was a screwy finish.  You know, because THREE HOURS AND EIGHT MINUTES isn’t enough content.

Results

Sami Zayn/Cesaro b. Kevin Owens/Chris Jericho – Small package to Jericho

Darren Young b. Alberto Del Rio – Rollup

Wyatt Family/The Club b. Enzo Amore/Big Cass/John Cena/New Day – Styles Clash to Amore

Baron Corbin b. Sin Cara – End of Days

Sasha Banks/Becky Lynch b. Charlotte/Dana Brooke via DQ when Natalya interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown
Date: June 30, 2016
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, David Otunga, Byron Saxton

We’re running out of Smackdowns on Thursday nights as we only have two more weeks before heading over to the live world for a major change. It’s also interesting to see how things go without Roman Reigns around, though the more interesting thing will be seeing how he is when he comes back. Let’s get to it.

Tonight it’s Cesaro vs. Sheamus vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Apollo Crews for a US Title shot later in the night.

Cesaro arrived earlier and said he’ll win after his uppercut party.

Apollo Crews says this is a huge opportunity and sometimes the impossible is possible.

Sheamus is glad Crews is in this match because he can have some fun before winning the title.

Del Rio doesn’t know who Crews is but he’ll win the title tonight.

Opening sequence.

Cesaro vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Apollo Crews vs. Sheamus

Winner gets a US Title match later tonight. Cesaro and Crews actually pair off to start before Sheamus and Crews fall out to the floor. Cesaro hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on Del Rio before heading to the apron for a flip dive to take out Sheamus. Del Rio sends Cesaro into the barricade and then the post before getting Sheamus to help with some double teaming back inside. The Brogue Kick is broken up as Crews comes in to cross body both heels, leaving Alberto to hit a Backstabber on Sheamus.

Back from a break with Crews breaking up the top rope double stomp, allowing Cesaro to hit a high cross body for two on Del Rio. Sheamus breaks up a Swing with the Irish Curse but Del Rio superkicks Sheamus to break up the Cloverleaf. The cross armbreaker has Sheamus in trouble until Crews makes another save. It’s time for the uppercut party until Sheamus plants him with a tilt-a-whirl slam. Crews hits a cross body to put Sheamus on the floor, leaving Cesaro to Swing Del Rio into the Sharpshooter for the tap out at 9:44.

Rating: C. Crews looked good here but more importantly he looked like he belonged. I’m sure we’re going to get Cesaro vs. Del Rio at Battleground so it’s nice to have them do something different before we get there. The same is true of Crews vs. Sheamus, which is just continuing because that’s how feuds work in WWE.

Post match Del Rio sends Cesaro into the steps as Rusev comes out for the title match.

US Title: Rusev vs. Cesaro

Rusev is defending and Cesaro has a banged up shoulder from going into the steps. Cesaro fires off uppercuts to start but gets stomped down and kneed in the ribs. Rusev pounds on his own chest but Cesaro muscles him over with a suplex for two. The champ grabs a bearhug but Cesaro fights out and hits the springboard uppercut.

Rusev goes up top, only to get dropkicked to the floor for another cannonball off the apron. Back in and a swinging Rock Bottom puts Cesaro again and sets up more Bulgarian shouting. Cesaro uppercuts and clotheslines his way back out but can’t get the Sharpshooter as Rusev kicks at the ribs. A kick to the head sets up the Accolade and Cesaro taps at 6:13.

Rating: C+. Well that happened. This whole thing took about half an hour and now we’re done. I mean, Heaven forbid they let Cesaro have this match on pay per view when we can have Del Rio vs. Cesaro and maybe even Titus vs. Rusev all over again. Instead Cesaro earned a title shot and lost it in the span of about forty minutes. All nice and clean, just like that.

Post break, Rusev thinks Independence Day should be renamed Rusev Day. However, this Monday he’ll be defending the US Title against Titus O’Neal. Lana doesn’t seem worried and she really shouldn’t be.

Special Olympics video.

Dana Brooke vs. Billie Kay

Kay is from NXT and gets a jobber entrance. I really can’t imagine this is a full callup. Dana shoves her around with ease and says playtime is over. Kay gets dropped face first on the top turnbuckle before Dana chokes her in the corner. A cartwheel splash gets two but Billie gets in a discus lariat and big boot for two. Not that it matters as the Samoan Driver ends Billie at 2:53.

Sasha Banks says she’s ready for Charlotte because the Boss isn’t just a nickname. If Charlotte wants to throw Dana in her way, it’s just going to delay the inevitable. Summer Rae comes in to say she’s sick of Sasha so a match is made for tonight.

It’s time for MizTV with guest Dean Ambrose, who comes out with a paper bag in his hand. Miz yells at him for coming out early as Dean pulls out a sandwich for a snack while talking about Maroon Five: Battleground. Miz tries to correct him while Dean sucks up to the crowd. Dean plugs Battleground and talks about his own talk show. Miz doesn’t think much of the Ambrose Asylum because it just had a stupid plant.

That’s not cool with Dean and the fans get in an argument over which show is better. That turns into which title is better and Miz brings up Stephanie hating Ambrose as champ. A fight is teased so Miz takes off his jacket, which Dean uses to wipe his mouth. Maryse offers a distraction and Miz decks Dean before leaving. That’s your main event I’m sure. Dean keeps chewing despite holding his head.

Erick Rowan/Braun Strowman vs. Aaron Hale/Mike Dewotty

Rowan hammers both of them in the head to start before it’s off to Strowman, who slams Aaron onto Mike for the double pin at 55 seconds.

Post match New Day comes up on screen ala the Wyatts to ask what Bray fears. Big E. thinks it’s either soap or the ghost from Conjuring 2. Woods doesn’t have much to say as Big E. thinks Bray may be afraid of being exposed. Bray notices that Woods isn’t laughing so he should tell his friends what he already knows. The devil calls for Woods so it’s time to pray. Or maybe run.

Sasha Banks vs. Summer Rae

Post Wrestlemania Raw rematch, which somehow was Sasha’s last singles match on the two main shows. Sasha wristdrags her off the top to start but gets sidestepped out to the floor. A big boot knocks Sasha off the apron and we take a break. Back with Summer yelling a lot which is better than her wrestling a lot. Some rollups get a series of near falls for Sasha and it’s time for the clotheslines because that’s what faces in WWE do. Summer avoids the double knees in the corner and kicks Sasha in the head for two, only to be sent into the middle turnbuckle, setting up the double knees. The Bank Statement ends Summer at 8:52.

Rating: C-. This was a bit better than I was expecting though Summer has probably peaked as Fandango’s dance partner. She’s good as a jobber, though you could argue that more than half of the women in WWE are jobbers to the handful of bigger names. Summer using her legs for most of her offense makes sense too so this was almost a nice little surprise.

We look at Monday’s matches with AJ Styles and John Cena failing to get into the pay per view title match.

Dean Ambrose vs. The Miz

Non-title and Miz comes out second for some reason. Dean hammers away to start as Mauro says Dean is the man with the championship. So Miz is Dean? Miz buries a knee to the ribs to take over but Dean comes back with a cross body and right hands to the head. Maryse pulls Miz out of the way of a suicide dive but Miz saves himself from the top rope elbow. See? He can be self sufficient too.

Neither finisher can hit but Dean clotheslines him on the floor and gets in more right hands. Dean is sent into the barricade and we take a break, coming back to see Miz working on the leg. It’s off to a basic leglock but Miz takes too long going up, only to break up a superplex attempt and hit the top rope ax handle. A neckbreaker gives Dean a breather and comes back with his basic comeback package, including La Majistral for two. You wouldn’t expect lucha rollups when you look at Dean.

Dean’s middle rope dropkick is countered into the Figure Four. Ambrose gets over to the ropes and knocks Miz to the floor for a suicide dive. So much for the selling, just like Monday. The Rebound Lariat is countered into the Skull Crushing Finale for two. Miz is frustrated so he makes the mistake of trying another ax handle, only to have Dean step aside and grab Dirty Deeds for the pin at 14:35.

Rating: B. Now this was the nice surprise I was waiting for earlier. Miz losing here isn’t exactly my favorite idea but at least it was to a bigger star. It really does say something about WWE when I couldn’t think of anyone else to take this loss. We’ve seen Ambrose vs. Owens and Del Rio and Jericho so many times that it means nothing so somehow Miz is the last remaining option.

Overall Rating: D+. I don’t remember the last time I saw a show that was so thrown together. This felt like they took whoever they could find and put them into a card five minutes before the tapings started. Look back at this show and tell me if you see a TV episode or most of a pretty bad house show. It looked like they had something unique going at the start but that was all done after about thirty minutes. The main event was fine but the rest of the show felt slapped together, thereby continuing the tradition of Smackdown to its final shows on Thursday.

Results

Cesaro b. Alberto Del Rio, Apollo Crews and Sheamus – Sharpshooter to Del Rio

Rusev b. Cesaro – Accolade

Dana Brooke b. Billie Kay – Samoan Driver

Erick Rowan/Braun Strowman b. Aaron Hale/Mike Dewotty – Strowman slammed Hale onto Dewotty

Sasha Banks b. Summer Rae – Bank Statement

Dean Ambrose b. The Miz – Dirty Deeds

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 27, 2016
Location: Amalie Arena, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

We’re getting closer to Battleground but things have changed a bit because of Roman Reigns’ suspension. It should be interesting to see if that’s actually referenced during the show as they could just as easily say Rollins attacked him off air or that he was injured during last week’s match. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Seth Rollins to open things up. He talks about the upcoming triple threat but stops to talk about the Roman Reigns scandal. What he did to get himself suspended soiled the Shield’s name and then he even put out a statement about it. We see the Tweet from Reigns saying he violated the Wellness Policy and apologizing for it, which Rollins doesn’t buy. What about an apology to the fans?

As for the last part where Reigns says he owns it, all that matters is Rollins owns him. Reigns doesn’t deserve a second chance or forgiveness or to be in the main event of Battleground. Based on the suspension, we might as well just make it a singles match because that’s what Rollins deserves.

Cue Ambrose to say everyone makes mistakes, like being Seth’s friend or Rollins wearing skinny jeans. As far as Dean is concerned the triple threat is still on. This brings out AJ Style to say it should still be a triple threat with himself taking Reigns’ place. Dean doesn’t make the decisions around here but thinks it’s still a triple threat.

They all bicker with each other when John Cena comes out as well. He’s held that title fifteen times and had his first match in WWE fourteen years ago today. Cena won the last time he beat Ambrose so let’s make it a fatal fiveway. Now it’s Stephanie McMahon to say she doesn’t like Ambrose standing in the ring as champion. She does however like the idea of Cena and Styles in the Battleground title match. Therefore tonight it’s Cena vs. Rollins and Ambrose vs. Styles. If Cena and AJ win, they can be added to the title match at Battleground.

Paige/Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte/Dana Brooks

This is Sasha’s first match on Raw or Smackdown since April because WWE has no idea how to book more than one story in this division at a time. Sasha sends Dana into the corner to start but Brooke reverses and does the pat on Sasha’s head. That just earns her an ejection out to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Charlotte putting Paige in a chinlock, apparently due to kicking her in the face during the break. A running flip neckbreaker allows Charlotte to taunt Sasha a bit and draw the hot hotheaded Banks in. Paige dives for the tag but settles for a superkick to the champ’s face, allowing her to bring in Sasha. Everything breaks down and double knees in the corner sets up the Bank Statement to make Dana tap at 8:46.

Rating: C-. The ending made sense and it’s a good sign that Paige’s win over Charlotte wasn’t just a one off plot device. Sasha going through Charlotte’s lackey to get to the big title showdown makes sense though I could see them waiting until Summerslam to go there. Unfortunately this makes the whole Natalya series seem like a waste of time as there was no real reason to wait on Sasha getting this run. Oh and please don’t have them put Ric Flair in Sasha’s corner for some stupid reason.

Titus O’Neil vs. Rusev

Non-title and we actually get a match here despite Titus attacking before the bell again. Titus misses a charge in the corner and gets stomped down, setting up a chinlock that goes nowhere. A dropkick puts Titus down and a few knees to the ribs keeps him in trouble, only to have the threat of a big boot sends Rusev outside. We get a double clothesline before Titus throws Rusev over the timekeeper’s area for the countout win at 4:09.

Rating: D. Why in the world are we getting another of these matches? Titus vs. Rusev was one of the lamest title matches I’ve seen in a long time and now we’re getting another despite Rusev already beating him? WWE really needs to comprehend the idea of a one off match. Not everything needs to be part of a big story, despite what WWE seems to think.

Stephanie runs into Kane, who is still trying to get a chance at running Smackdown. Miz and Maryse come in to complain about the lack of a red carpet and the limo driver not opening the door for them. Kane mentions his own acting career before bringing up Miz not defending the title in a long time. That’s accurate actually so Stephanie makes a title match against a mystery opponent. It’s like a cliffhanger you see.

As usual, every single word Stephanie says feels like it comes off a teleprompter. I don’t know if it’s that she sucks as an actress or what, but she’s sounded like that for over fifteen years now and it almost never changes. She can rant and rave very well but anytime she tries to sound natural or spontaneous, she sounds like an eight year old in a school play.

Seth Rollins vs. John Cena

If Cena wins he’s in the title match at Battleground. They start fast with Seth actually getting the better of it off some right hands. A dropkick and Blockbuster get two each on Cena but he initiates his finishing sequence to come back. Of course it’s WAY too early for that so the Shuffle is broken up with a kick to the face.

Back from a break with Cena hitting the shoulders into the Protobomb again but catching the kick that would break up the Shuffle. A third Protobomb sets up the Shuffle but the AA is countered into the low superkick for two. Cena comes right back with a tornado DDT for two of his own, only to have Seth kick him in the face.

The great looking frog splash misses though and Cena heads up top but Seth runs the ropes for a superplex and rolls into a Falcon’s Arrow for two. A quick AA gets two more with Seth getting his foot on the ropes. Another AA doesn’t work so Cena grabs the STF but cue the Club for a distraction, setting up the Pedigree for the pin at 16:00.

Rating: B. It’s nice to have these two feel fresh after all those matches they had back in the fall. Cena losing this close to clean is kind of surprising but Rollins needs wins like these to really look like a top player again after the injury. I mean I know he won the title but does that really mean much anymore? Good match here though, despite the somewhat obvious ending.

Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Carlos Kershing/Mitch Walding

Enzo says they’re riding a wave and the wave is these people. Therefore he wants the fans to do the wave as soon as the bell rings. The Bada Boom Shakalacka ends we’ll say Kershing at 25 seconds.

Post match Cass loads up the spelling but the Social Outcasts interrupt. Dallas says the Outcasts are H-A-R-D so Cass asks which is the hardest. A big boot drops Slater and the other two aren’t so willing to get in the ring.

Bob Backlund/Darren Young segment with Backlund saying it’s time for the Darren Young Era. This sounds like the last one.

Some Special Olympians got to train at the WWE Performance Center. Nothing wrong with that.

The Special Olympians are here and get a presentation to the crowd.

Becky Lynch vs. Summer Rae

Natalya is on commentary and there’s no match as Becky goes right after her, earning a pretty loud BECKY chant as a result.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel with guests Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens. After Jericho blames both of them for that maniac Dean Ambrose being WWE World Champion, he brings them out and brings up their careers being put on hold because of this feud. Sami wants to end everything at Battleground because they might wind up on different shows without anything being settled.

Owens won’t say anything so Sami accuses him of being a coward. Sami wants to hear Owens admit that he’s jealous of Sami for getting to WWE first in NXT. Owens says he’s told Sami the truth many times: what he did was to advance his own career. Everything they did was to get to WWE and Sami should have done is congratulate Owens for using him as a stepping stone. The fact that he doesn’t shows that Owens is a better friend than Sami ever was, but the match is on for Battleground.

Jericho loves the idea but says Owens is just trying to follow Jericho’s path. Chris doesn’t think much of Sami either and would love to shut up his stupid idiot face right now, but he’ll leave Owens to do that at Battleground. We get the Gift of Jericho pose but both Sami and Owens kick him in the face at the same time. The fans seem really intrigued at the idea of these two working together.

We recap the opening segment.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. ???

Miz is defending against…..Kane. I had it being Cesaro but why do that when you can do someone not quite that interesting who hasn’t had a match since Wrestlemania? Kane throws him around to start but can’t get a chokeslam. Instead it’s a big boot to the champ’s face, followed by a side slam for two. Maryse gets on the apron to break up another chokeslam attempt, only to get knocked to the floor for some screeching. Miz is nice enough to check on her and her injured ankle, drawing our second countout for the midcard champions of the night at 3:27.

Rating: D. I’m glad Kane didn’t win here but tell me we’re not going to see a rematch between these two at Battleground. I really don’t need to see Kane getting a second title shot but since they did this match here we absolutely need to see them do it again because HOW ELSE CAN WE POSSIBLY DO A STORY???

Post break Maryse shows Miz that she was faking. Miz is impressed.

Apollo Crews/Cesaro vs. Alberto Del Rio/Sheamus

See, Del Rio and Cesaro had a match on Smackdown (not shown of course) so they’re in a heated rivalry now. Sheamus wants nothing to do with Crews to start so Apollo grabs a quick suplex on Del Rio and brings in Cesaro. Some kicks stagger Cesaro and a DDT gets two for Alberto.

Sheamus comes in for the Irish Curse before slapping on a chinlock to keep things slow (not a bad thing here). Cesaro throws him down and the double tag brings in Crews to clothesline Del Rio a few times before Alberto intentionally enziguris Sheamus and walks out. A dropkick sends the steps into Sheamus, setting up the toss powerbomb to give Crews the pin at 5:00.

Rating: D+. Well ok then. I’m not sure where they’re going with this but it’s a good sign that Crews is just in the midcard without too many questions. I really don’t need to see them waiting around while he has a nothing feud to introduce him to the roster. The short thing against the Social Outcasts was bad enough but he seems to actually have a place now. Not exactly a character or that much of a story but he’s got something.

Dean Ambrose is disappointed that he didn’t get a parade for winning the title but he’ll settle for a match with Styles tonight. Stephanie comes in and talks about how she wants to get the title off Dean as fast as she can because he’s a disgrace to the company. Oh and no one would want his autograph because he’s not worth it.

Ok, this is just stupid now. Stephanie just keeps going from one side of the spectrum to the other and you can pretty much guess which one she’ll be on a given week. It’s either the fun loving one who dances with kids and wants to make WWE great or the one who is basically Vince with better legs. At some point you need an actual motivation for your character and “I want WWE to be respected” isn’t enough.

We get that because she tells you every single week but just saying it and giving no reason for why someone isn’t worthy of your praise isn’t enough. Pick a side or at least tell us why you’re doing something. Just having Stephanie go all over the place because she’s Stephanie and the rules don’t apply to her. This has been going on for years but she’s a self made woman and empowering or whatever their line is.

The Wyatts are here…..and it’s New Day in costumes, with Kofi as Rowan, Woods as Harper and Big E. as Bray, complete with cowboy hat, gray beard with a string to hold it on, overalls and a lantern made up of light up unicorn horns. We even get a New Day themed Wyatt style montage. Kofi throws the mask off and wants to know how Rowan can breathe in that thing. They get in the ring and Big E. plays up to being born in Tampa. Big E.: “Tampa General Hospital anyone?”

They make fun of the outfits until the real Wyatts interrupt. Bray says it’s a new day and tells the fans to vilify him. How can the power of positivity help someone who just lost his job and can’t put food on his table? Kofi calls the power of positivity a way of life and Big E. agrees but Bray focuses on Woods. Xavier looks a bit shook and Bray says Woods can confide in him. They’re just playing one of Woods’ games but there are no winners or loses. There’s just malice and destruction and New Day will fall. Remember when Bray was going to be a face and he was looking awesome? Is there a reason that was canceled?

Post break New Day thinks it’s a great idea to keep messing with the Wyatts. Kofi: “It was the best idea we’ve had since we went and saw Finding Dory the other day.” Woods looks shaken and walks off.

Dean Ambrose vs. AJ Styles

Non-title and Rollins is on commentary. Feeling out process to start with Ambrose getting taken down in a headlock. Back up and Dirty Deeds doesn’t work so we take an early break. We come back with AJ hitting a good looking dropkick and slapping on a chinlock. A hot shot breaks up AJ’s momentum and a fisherman’s suplex of all things gets two for the champ.

AJ gets the same off a faceplant but takes too much time getting to the top, allowing Dean to grab a butterfly superplex. Styles is back up though and grabs a torture rack into a spinning powerbomb, only to miss the Phenomenal Forearm. Dean wrenches his knee though and that means the Calf Crusher. You don’t have the champ tap though so he grabs the rope instead.

Dean sends him outside and OF COURSE he can still do the suicide dive on the bad leg. Back in and AJ rolls through the top rope elbow, followed by the Pele. Dean is JUST FINE and hits the rebound lariat to put both guys down. This brings out the Club so AJ can get two off a brainbuster. Cena comes down to fight Gallows and Anderson but the distraction sets up Dirty Deeds to put AJ away at 15:45.

Rating: C-. Completely ignoring the leg injury aside, is there a reason why Seth didn’t come in and attack Dean to keep it a triple threat like he wanted? He’s supposed to be all smart and he was fine with letting Dean be in the Calf Crusher while he just sat there. I know it’s not how you do a match like this, but it goes against Seth’s intelligence to have Dean in that much danger and not do anything about it. This match had too many holes it in for me to work, despite it being entertaining at times.

Post match the Club beats up Cena as Rollins hits two Pedigrees on Ambrose. Is there ANY reason he’s still using that move? He’s not associated with HHH anymore and it really doesn’t fit his style but that’s what he was using before and nothing is allowed to change for a main eventer so I guess that’s what we’re getting for good. Cena gets a Magic Killer on the stage and Dean takes another Pedigree to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t quite the same as last week as the wrestling was just there for the most part. The bigger problem though is how weak Battleground is looking aside from the main event. It looks like a lot of rematches and then some nothing matches like Kane vs. Miz and Titus vs. Rusev. On top of that there’s also the impending Draft, which really makes so much of this stuff seem like filler. The show certainly wasn’t horrible but it was really just there, and that’s rarely a good sign. Oh and next week is the Fourth of July, meaning the biggest throw away show of the year. Have fun with that one.

Results

Sasha Banks/Paige b. Charlotte/Dana Brooke – Bank Statement to Brooke

Titus O’Neil b. Rusev via countout

Seth Rollins b. John Cena – Pedigree

Enzo Amore/Big Cass b. Carlos Kershing/Mitch Walding – Bada Boom Shakalacka to Kershing

Kane b. The Miz via countout

Apollo Crews/Cesaro b. Sheamus/Alberto Del Rio – Toss powerbomb to Sheamus

Dean Ambrose b. AJ Styles – Dirty Deeds

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01FWZZ2UA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: June 23, 2016
Location: Tucson Arena, Tucson, Arizona
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Mauro Ranallo, David Otunga

It’s an interesting time in WWE as we’re less than a month away from the new era really taking hold as the Draft takes place and separates the two shows into different entities. On top of that though, Roman Reigns has been suspended for thirty days, meaning the build towards the triple threat match at Battleground could be interesting. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on the recent issues with the World Title.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Seth Rollins to get things going. He talks about how when he was a kid, his parents would tell him that he could do anything if he worked hard enough. Well obviously that was a lie because no one works harder than he does but Dean Ambrose is the WWE World Champion. Ambrose should have given him his rematch one on one but instead we’re coming up on this triple threat at Battleground to make it as hard on him as possible. As for tonight though, Seth is going to prove that he’s more man than Ambrose ever could be by issuing an opening challenge.

This brings out Sami Zayn and the fans seem interested. Rollins: “Did your master Kevin Owens let you off your leash for a couple of hours?” Cue Dean Ambrose, who has his guys turn this into an impromptu Ambrose Asylum. Actually wait because Dean needs to draw a title on the sign because this is now the championship edition. Sami is thrilled to be on the show but Rollins freaks out because he hates this show. Dean says Rollins has always has a poor attitude as Seth storms out to get ready. This was a pretty long way around to set up Sami vs. Rollins.

Cesaro vs. Alberto Del Rio

OH COME ON. Money in the Bank is over! I shouldn’t have to deal with these pairings anymore. They get some inset promos with Del Rio claiming Cesaro cost him the briefcase and Cesaro telling him to do something about it. Del Rio grabs a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to start so Cesaro hits one of his own.

The uppercut train sends Del Rio outside for the flip dive off the apron, only to have Alberto go after the apron as we take a break. Back with Del Rio slapping on an armbar and taking the arm out to block another uppercut. Alberto goes up but dives into an uppercut from the good arm. The corkscrew uppercut gets two (ok do something else) followed by a double stomp for the same on Alberto.

Del Rio comes back with a Backstabber for two of his own but Cesaro comes back with yet another uppercut. Cesaro gets crotched while trying a superplex but is still able to lift himself up and armdrag Del Rio down. A quick cross armbreaker attempt is countered into the Neutralizer for the pin on Alberto at 10:26.

Rating: B-. This was better than most of the Money in the Bank pairings but there’s almost no reason to care about any of them anymore. We’ve seen this so many times now and without a reason to fight, these matches are even less interesting than they were in the first place. At least the match was better this time around.

Apollo Crews vs. Sheamus

Sheamus hammers away and tells Apollo to smile now, only to have Crews cross body both of them over the top to the floor. Crews sends him into the steps before having to fight out of the Irish Curse back inside. An enziguri sets up the standing moonsault for two on Sheamus but he comes back with the ten forearms to the chest. The Regal Roll on the floor has Crews in trouble and Sheamus makes it worse by loading up the steps. Crews dropkicks him into the barricade, only to have Sheamus kick him off the apron. A whip into the steps is enough to get Crews counted out at 3:55.

Rating: D+. Well that means it’s time for a rubber match because the fans are dying to see a rematch from a sub-four minute TV match on a show not many people watch that ends in a countout. The idea of Crews beating Sheamus is fine but there really wasn’t much of a reason for a rematch, save for maybe Sheamus getting pinned again. I really hope we get somewhere new with the Brand Split because this stuff is getting old.

Recap of AJ Styles vs. John Cena on Sunday as well as Monday’s fallout.

The Club is happy with what happened on Monday but the Usos return. PLEASE not this match again. Jey calls the bald guys head and shoulders in an unfunny line and we’re getting Jimmy vs. AJ for later.

Jimmy Uso vs. AJ Styles

Mauro bills this as a Smackdown first. This is joined in progress after a break with Jimmy running Styles over and dancing a bit. That’s fine with AJ who takes him down into a headlock but Jimmy reverses into one of his own. Jimmy sends him outside but the baseball slide is countered as AJ grabs the feet and sends him head first into the steps.

Back in and AJ catapults him throat first into the bottom rope. Jimmy comes back with an enziguri so Styles Peles him right back. The Phenomenal Forearm is broken up with a superkick but the running Umaga attack hits buckles. Cue the Club to go after Jey, causing Jimmy to dive over the top and take them out. AJ hits a slingshot forearm to the back of Jimmy’s head and the Phenomenal Forearm puts Jimmy away at 6:02 shown.

Rating: C. For reasons that I’ll never understand, this means more Usos vs. the Club. I’m a big Usos fan but there’s little interest for them as singles wrestlers and they’ve done everything there is for them as a tag team, especially fighting the Club for probably the tenth time in a few months. AJ looked good but this was just a step above a squash for him.

New Day vs. Vaudevillains

Non-title. Kofi and Gotch start things off but it’s off to English inside of twenty seconds to start in on Kofi’s arm. Aiden’s running spin kick in the corner staggers Kofi but he runs English over with a clothesline. The hot tag brings in Big E. to clean house with a string of suplexes. Kofi takes out English and a quick tag sets up the Midnight Hour to pin Gotch at 2:28.

Post match the Wyatts pop up on screen to say everyone fears them and that New Day will fall.

Bob Backlund wants to review Darren Young’s goals. Darren wants to be a singles champion and then main event Wrestlemania. Backlund has wrestled at Wrestlemania and won singles titles but he’s already had his era. Now it’s time to start the Darren Young Era.

Sami wants to win so he can make a statement. He isn’t worried about Kevin Owens.

Charlotte and Dana Brooke are ready to take out Becky Lynch before showing Sasha that Charlotte is the queen because playtime is over.

Dana Brooke vs. Becky Lynch

Dana starts fast with some knees and shoulders to the ribs before avoiding Becky’s charge. Charlotte eats a forearm though, allowing Brooke to roll Becky up for the pin at 1:21.

Post match Becky gets beaten down until Sasha Banks makes the save.

Dean follows Seth to the ring to get on his nerves.

Seth Rollins vs. Sami Zayn

Dean is on commentary. Rollins scores with a shoulder to start and they pause early on. Some armdrags put Seth down and Sami gets in a nice headscissors. A good right hand puts Sami outside before a clothesline takes us to a break. Back with a fight over a suplex until Rollins gets two off a Falcon’s Arrow. Seth slowly stomps away as Dean talks about not sleeping for six or seven days.

A big clothesline drops Rollins and it’s time to pound some right hands in the corner. Sami gets two off a high cross body and Seth loses an elbow pad. That’s not exactly interesting stuff so Sami gets in the Blue Thunder Bomb for two. The Helluva Kick is blocked so Seth scores with the buckle bomb. Sami counters the Pedigree and scores with the tornado DDT. Rollins bails so Sami hits the big flip dive. Not that it matters as Seth grabs the Pedigree as soon as they get back in for the pin at 8:42.

Rating: B-. The ending was really odd as Sami hit two big moves in a row before Seth just hit the Pedigree with nothing in between. It was like they had to go home really fast and had to cut out a few minutes in the middle. The match was what you would expect from these two, albeit a few steps slower than I thought it would have been.

Seth and Dean brawl post match with Rollins running from the threat of Dirty Deeds.

Overall Rating: C+. Another acceptable but totally forgettable show. When they’re boasting an AJ Styles vs. Jimmy Uso match, you know your show is in trouble. Again though it’s not like any of this matters when you consider everything resets three more shows. At least it’s not bad and we got some decent wrestling here though. That’s about all there is to say, which is going to be the legacy of this era of Smackdown: it wasn’t bad, but I can’t remember much about it.

Results

Cesaro b. Alberto Del Rio – Neutralizer

Sheamus b. Apollo Crews via countout

AJ Styles b. Jimmy Uso – Phenomenal Forearm

New Day b. Vaudevillains – Midnight Hour to Gotch

Dana Brooke b. Becky Lynch – Rollup

Seth Rollins b. Sami Zayn – Pedigree

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01FWZZ2UA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 20, 2016
Location: Talking Stick Resort Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

A lot changed last night at Money in the Bank, not the least of which is all three members of Shield held the WWE World Title at some point. Dean Ambrose walked out with the title after cashing in Money in the Bank briefcase to end the show on new champion Seth Rollins, who had taken the title from Roman Reigns. We’re heading towards Battleground now but first up is that whole Brand Split and completely changing the company thing. Let’s get to it.

Dean arrived earlier today and threw money at the cab driver, only to have to chase after the cab because he forgot the title.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Dean to open things up, walking past a Raw and Smackdown podium on the way to the ring. The fans tell him that he deserves it before Dean talks about barely remembering a lot of last night. Apparently he ran into the Cleveland Cavaliers but he isn’t a fan. I’m sure the crowd booing him out of the arena didn’t sway that decision in the slightest. Dean gets right to the point: hard work and dedication pay off and when it pays off, it pays off BIG.

If Roman Reigns is the guy, maybe Ambrose can be the Dude. Call him whatever you want but you have to call him champ because it was all worth it to get here. Cue Roman to some LOUD booing. Roman says last night wasn’t his night because it was Dean’s night. He’s here to congratulate the new champ but the fans cut him off with a YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chant. Roman says all the people chanting that need to take a sip of their beer and calm down. The other reason Reigns is out here is to find out if Dean is a fighting champion.

This brings out a furious Seth to say he never properly lost the title and Reigns needs to go to the back of the line. Here’s Shane McMahon to calm things down a bit. Shane thinks the best idea is to have Seth vs. Roman with the winner facing Dean. Shane talks to an invisible Stephanie about her idea since the real version isn’t here tonight. Stephanie agrees so let’s have the match tonight instead of waiting around.

Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens

Owens bails to the floor to start so Sami takes him down with a clothesline. You would think Sami could come up with some different offense somewhere in there. Sami moonsaults off the barricade to drop Owens again so Kevin bails into the crowd. That goes nowhere as Sami throws him back to ringside, only to have Owens drive him into the post as we take a break.

Back from a break with Kevin’s backsplash hitting raised knees. Sami low bridges him to the floor for the running flip dive, only to charge into a superkick for two. Sami’s half and half suplex looks to set up the Helluva Kick but only earns him another superkick. A victory roll out of nowhere gives Sami the pin at 8:54.

Rating: C+. These two always work well together and it’s a good idea to have Sami get a clean pin over Owens. You can’t have the whole thing be one sided and I kind of like the idea of not waiting for some big moment for the first win for a change. Good enough match here but these two have that natural chemistry that you just can’t fake.

Kevin goes after him again post match but Sami escapes a powerbomb on the stage and they trade fists until referees break it up.

After a break, Sami and Kevin are still fighting in the back.

The announcers talk about the Draft, basically making the official announcement.

Here’s John Laurinitis to throw his name in the hat as GM but Shane comes out to say no way because that’s not how it’s going to work.

Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Vaudevillains

Enzo and Shane compare shoes and dance a bit on the way to the ring. After the usual catchphrases, Enzo says he didn’t like what Johnny laryngitis was saying. Any guesses how many dimes he would have if he got one for every time Johnny said something important? English stomps Enzo down to start before it’s off to Gotch for a neckbreaker. The slow beating continues until Gotch eats a Downward Spiral into the middle buckle. The hot tag brings in Cass to clean house with the Empire Elbow for two on English. Enzo goes up for the Rocket Launcher, now named the Bada Boom Shaka Lacka, for the pin at 2:53.

Here’s AJ Styles to talk about the tainted win last night. The bottom line though is that he beat John Cena, even if it didn’t go down like he expected it to go. Either way, the Club is going to continue but he wants Anderson and Gallows to come out and apologize right now. Anderson and Gallows come out and AJ yells at them a bit, saying that was his only first chance to beat Cena and now John has an excuse. AJ wants an apology right now and gets one from both guys, but now he needs Cena out here as well.

Cena comes out and says AJ broke the contract but Gallows says AJ had no idea what they were going to do. That’s the apology but Cena thinks it’s a coverup to hide the fact that AJ isn’t as good as he says he is. Cena can accept the win because that’s the most important thing in WWE. What AJ doesn’t get is the idea of being a man of his word. Last night Styles proved that he doesn’t have a word or balls. That earns him a CENA chant but AJ doesn’t think the fans know what they’re talking about.

AJ thinks there should be a fight right now and Cena is ready but that’s not what Styles meant. Instead AJ meant against either Anderson or Gallows, not Styles himself. Cena says it doesn’t matter which one he faces because the other will be at ringside. Therefore, he’ll fight all three, which is the contract AJ should have signed in the first place. AJ stops him again and says it’s Anderson vs. Cena right now.

John Cena vs. Karl Anderson

Joined in progress with Cena pounding Anderson down but stopping to look at the entrance for Styles and Gallows. An early ProtoBomb sets up the Shuffle and the AA, drawing in the rest of the Club for the DQ at 2:24 shown.

Post match Cena takes the Magic Killer and Styles Clash.

Stills of last night’s ladder match and World Title situation.

We also look at the opening segment.

Rollins is ready to take the title back from Ambrose and it starts tonight. He wants to prove that he’s the best member of the Shield once and for all. Oh yeah that’s grounds for a triple threat.

Becky Lynch is sick and tired of everyone turning on her with Natalya being the latest one to do so. Natalya jumps her from behind and says it’s time to think about herself.

Baron Corbin vs. Zack Ryder

Ryder pokes him in the eye to start but Corbin might have been goldbricking as he blasts Ryder in the face with a right hand. Zack shrugs off some choking and sends him outside for a dropkick from the apron. The Elbro gets two but Corbin slides under the ropes and runs back in for a right hand, followed by End of Days for the pin at 3:03.

Rating: D+. This was better than I was expecting with Ryder getting in a lot more offense than I was expecting. Of course the second you heard Ryder’s music playing you knew how this was going to go but that’s all you can expect from someone like him. At least they kept this short though and there was almost no mention of Dolph Ziggler, a development that is LONG overdue.

We look at WWE announcing a partnership in China and signing a Chinese wrestler to a developmental deal.

The Wyatts are coming back soon.

We look back at Paige beating Charlotte in a non-title match last week.

Paige (who seems to not be under arrest) talks about having a history with Charlotte from Team PCB but Charlotte and Dana are behind her laughing about getting cell phone service. Charlotte brags about rocketing up the charts after Team PCB broke up while Paige fell down like a tree. Paige says she’ll win the title tonight and Charlotte will have no one to blame but herself.

Women’s Title: Paige vs. Charlotte

Charlotte is defending and we get big match intros. A rollup gets an early two for the champ but she nips up off a shoulder. Paige hits a running knee in the corner followed by a series of knees to the face from the bottom rope. Dana offers a distraction though and Charlotte nails Paige to take over as we take a break.

Back with Charlotte doing her figure four headscissors faceplants but Paige grabs a backslide for two. Some superkicks set up a running knee for two on the champ, followed by a fall away slam. Paige’s superplex is broken up and the moonsault gives Charlotte two. The Figure Eight is countered into a small package for two and the Rampaige gets the same with Dana putting the foot on the ropes. That earns her an ejection but Charlotte hits Natural Selection for the pin at 8:30.

Rating: C+. Good match here as usual and it’s nice to see Paige not have to babysit the lower level women for a bit. That being said, we’re just waiting on Sasha at this point and it’s just a matter of time until Sasha comes back and gives us the big Summerslam feud for the title. Well maybe Battleground but whatever.

Post match Paige gets suplexed but here’s Sasha for the big return to clean house. Charlotte gets caught in the Bank Statement to draw Dana back in, only to have Paige help make the save.

Roman says he’s going to be the guy to beat Seth Rollins.

The Wyatts are here.

Here are the Wyatts for their big return. We get a big welcome back chant so Bray asks if they missed him. The Wyatts have been locked away and punished but they have never forgotten what they stand for. Bray issues a warning to everyone back there…..and here’s New Day to cut them off. Woods says Bray needs to stop talking so much and Kofi goes into the usual spiel, only to have Bray seem to hypnotize Woods. Kofi gets him back but Bray thinks the future is New Day falls. That’s uh…..quite the odd choice for a pairing but Bray controlling people is interesting. Are the Wyatts still faces though?

Life Lesson With Bob Backlund, focusing on Backlund giving orders, not advice.

Rusev vs. Titus O’Neil

Titus says this is about respect and revenge instead of the US Title. He charges in and a fight starts before the bell, meaning no match so this MUST CONTINUE! They fight outside with Rusev getting the worse of it and being sent out into the crowd.

Miz and Maryse are on the set of Marine 5 and Miz gets annoyed because he can’t get good quail. He freaks out and goes on a rant about how bad the crew is, right in front of the crew.

Chris Jericho is in Shane’s office and rants about how he should be #1 contender but Shane doesn’t see it that way. Jericho brings up the 69 tacks and calls Shane a stupid idiot, which doesn’t sit well with the boss. Chris wants to be on whatever show Shane isn’t running but Shane says he’ll be on both.

Seth Rollins vs. Roman Reigns

Winner goes to Battleground for a title shot and Dean is on commentary. Roman shoulders him down to start and they head outside with Rollins getting knocked around even more. Roman loads up the announcers’ table but gets caught with a Blockbuster back inside. A dropkick gets two for Seth and we hit the chinlock. Rollins takes it to the floor and sends Roman into the barricade, only to get kicked in the face back inside. They head outside again with Reigns sending him into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Rollins throwing on a sleeper but Reigns quickly escapes and fires off some forearms until the referee breaks it up. The distraction lets Seth get in a jumping enziguri and he sends Roman outside for the suicide dive. Back in and Reigns scores with his powerbomb for two. Neither guy can hit a finisher but Seth tries a springboard and dives into the Superman Punch for two. The spear is blocked by a kick to the face so Reigns punches him out to the apron.

Now the springboard knee to the face sets up the slow superkick for two but Reigns avoids a great looking frog splash. There’s the apron boot and Roman loads up the announcers’ table. Seth escapes to avoid extreme pain and scores with another enziguri. Seth barely breaks the count but Reigns pulls him back outside for a spear over the announcers’ table. That spot loses a lot when there’s no big crash. Neither guy gets back in and it’s a double countout at 17:27.

Rating: B-. Obvious ending aside, this was actually a bit more entertaining than last night as the length really pulled the first match down. Of course this sets up the Shield triple threat which should headline Summerslam but why do that when you can do it at a nothing show like Battleground? In theory this leaves Reigns vs. Lesnar II for Summerslam but that’s assuming Lesnar is healthy after the UFC fight. But hey, why play it smart when you can play it stupid?

Post match Shane comes out to say we need a #1 contender but Dean says he’ll fight both of them in the same night. The triple threat is made and Dean hits Dirty Deeds on both guys to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show set up some stuff for Battleground as it seems like we’re heading towards some Money in the Bank rematches. You have to assume we’ll get Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens in a big showdown, plus the Cena vs. Styles rematch and of course the big triple threat. Still though, good enough show here with some watchable wrestling but again we’re still stuck in a weird bit of limbo with the Draft in a month. I’ll take a watchable show that’s off the air at two minutes after the hour instead of thirty two minutes after the hour though so this is a bit less annoying than last night’s show.

Results

Sami Zayn b. Kevin Owens – Victory roll

Enzo Amore/Big Cass b. Vaudevillains – Bada Boom Shaka Lacka

John Cena b. Karl Anderson via DQ when AJ Styles and Luke Gallows interfered

Baron Corbin b. Zack Ryder – End of Days

Charlotte b. Paige – Natural Selection

Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins went to a double countout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01FWZZ2UA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 4, 2016
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

It’s pretty much New Year’s Day in WWE after everything came to a big conclusion last night. We’re officially in the Roman Reigns Era (part three) and hopefully that means a little break from the Authority. The other interesting thing will be seeing where the McMahons go from here because they’re the real stars of this show. Let’s get to it.

Again I was in the arena for this show so my perspective might be a bit different.

We open with a long recap of Wrestlemania, because what else are they going to start with?

Opening sequence.

The announcers tell us that the crowd is going to be “non-traditional” tonight. Translation: “Please don’t listen to the fans booing Reigns. He’s really AWESOME!” JBL says they’re just having fun. If fun means chanting for the Sheraton Hotel room that came in their travel packages, followed by a TRAVEL PACKAGE chant, I’d rather sign up for misery.

Here’s Vince to get things going and the fans actually sing his theme song. Vince: “Exactly the same chance my son had against the Undertaker!” He brings up Reigns winning the title and the fans are really not pleased. However, as of this morning the lock box is all taken care of, save for explaining what the heck that’s about. Last night was a great night but seeing his grandsons out there with Shane got to him a bit. It almost got to him when Shane climbed the Cell, which of course draws a Shane O’Mac chant.

Vince promises that tonight is a night we’ll never forget and goes to leave but Shane slowly limps out to cut him off. The fans thank Shane but he wants to shake Vince’s hand (“Since I’m the only man in the family.”) because Vince won at Wrestlemania. Shane thanks the fans and goes to leave but Vince cuts him off and blames the fans for what happened last night. Vince cuts him off again and says no one upstages him. He’s often thought how insane it would be to have Shane running Raw…..so let’s see how bad it can get.

Yes Shane is now in charge of Raw, completely negating A MONTH AND A HALF of storylines, along with erasing the point of last night’s Cell match. It’s almost like they booked themselves into a stupid corner with the story and had to find a way out of it while completely throwing logic out the window. This is the kind of nonsense that gets old in a hurry because I basically spent a month and a half trying to make sense of this stuff and then they say “oh never mind because we’re just doing what Vince was so scared of because.” Why? Just because. That drives me crazy but it happens far too often around here.

Here’s New Day for a talk before their title defense. Woods now has a smaller horn for reasons that aren’t likely to be explained. Maybe Vince just lost his mind and felt it should be smaller. The fans do the HEY! WE WANT SOME NEW DAY song before Big E. says things didn’t go according to plan last night.

Kofi did get to twerk with Shawn Michaels but Woods took a Stunner. Woods: “Upon further review of the tape, I have to admit….that it was pretty much my own fault.” However, they now have the last piece of Bootyo’s from last night, which will be playing the role of Simba as Woods hums Circle of Life from Lion King. It’s one of my all time favorites and the fans dug the heck out of that bit.

Tag Team Titles: King Barrett/Sheamus vs. New Day

The challengers come out after a break but first we get to see Lillian dancing with New Day, which she actually did twice. Kofi and Sheamus go into the corner to start as the announcers talk about the Shane story because the Tag Team Titles aren’t interesting enough. Everything breaks down and the League is sent outside, followed by Kofi being launched over the top (complete with fanfare from Woods) for a big crash.

Sheamus gets back up and knocks Kofi off the top for a crash but thankfully Woods is there to reassure him that the Bootyo is magical. Kofi fights back on Barrett but gets kicked hard in the ribs. We take a break and come back with the Wave going on in the background. Even Sheamus gets in on it, which actually causes Woods to get the mic and say if you like the Wave you like Sheamus.

This was the second time he said something like that after he had to get the fans to stop chanting Rocksteady during the break. To his credit, the crowd stopped cold both times so that seems to be the solution to the annoying chants. Kofi kicks Sheamus away and makes the hot tag as the fans are busy chanting about how awesome they are. Big E. starts in with the suplexes and the Warrior splash, followed by a whip to send Barrett into Sheamus. The Midnight Hour retains the titles at 8:45.

Rating: C. The match was fine but I’m sick of seeing these groups fight. There has to be someone else that New Day can fight, even if it’s some pairing of two big heels. The League just isn’t interesting no matter how many times they call themselves the lads or spin their fingers around their heads. New Day is way over but they’re getting into that Edge and Christian territory of having no one to feud with. At least they’re getting a nice long reign out of it though and with those shirts selling as strong as they do, the team isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

Post match Sheamus says he’s had it with all this losing. Every time he looks at one of these losses, he sees one weak link and that’s going to change. That means a Brogue Kick to Barrett, which draws out the Wyatts to destroy the remainder of the League, complete with the fans singing He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands. So there’s the face turn for the Wyatts, though let’s look at this League thing for a minute.

Did Sheamus forget that whole THEY WON AT WRESTLEMANIA part? Barrett knocked Woods silly to set up the win but now he’s kicked out after one loss? As has been proven already, it seems that New Day should have won at Wrestlemania to set this up, especially since they won here like the Wrestlemania match meant nothing. It’s bad storytelling and really should have been fixed before it became a stupid moment.

Vince goes to leave the arena but tells Renee Young that Shane is only in charge temporarily. He’s leaving early because this is going to be a disaster and he doesn’t want to watch the ship go down.

Summer Rae vs. Sasha Banks

Summer actually gets promo time and says if she was in charge of Bad and Blonde last night, they wouldn’t have wound up flat on their faces like Sasha did. Banks is back in the shorts tonight. She grabs the mic away from Summer and reminds us that she is in fact the Boss before slapping Summer in the face. Summer begs off like a heel should and suckers Sasha in to a neck snap across the middle rope. We’re in a chinlock thirty seconds in but Sasha is quickly up with a snapmare and running knees to the chest for two. The Bank Statement makes Summer tap at 1:40.

Shane McMahon is talking to Apollo Crews.

Apollo Crews vs. Tyler Breeze

This is Crews’ main roster debut after only a few months down in NXT. Then again when you have those natural gifts, it’s not expected that you’ll see him in developmental that long. Crews starts fast with a pop up powerslam for two, followed by a suplex from Breeze for the same. We’re already in the chinlock and it would be nice for Crews to at least look….something. He’s just kind of there and ignoring that someone has him in a chinlock. Crews pops up with the gorilla press and standing moonsault, followed by the lifting powerbomb for the pin at 1:52. Typical debut squash.

Clips of Charlotte and Roman Reigns on the Today Show.

Here’s Reigns to open the second hour with even louder booing than the previous night. During the entrance, JBL says Reigns is so happy to finally be on top of the mountain. That would be back on top of the mountain actually because this is his third reign which is supposed to mean more than the first two. The people boo him again but Reigns says he’s not a bad guy. He’s not a good guy either. No he’s just THE guy because he won the World Title in the biggest Wrestlemania of all time. If anyone wants to come get this title from him, he’s not going anywhere.

This brings out Chris Jericho, who brags about all his successes, which are far stronger than anything Reigns has ever done. Jericho stops though and calls out the fans for their stupid chants because they’re not going to hijack the show. Fans: “WE ARE IDIOTS!” Jericho rips on the internet favorite AJ Styles, which brings out Styles himself.

Before he can say anything though, here’s Kevin Owens. Again nothing is said though because Sami Zayn comes out, likely due to his leash to Owens getting a bit too tight. Owens and Zayn go right at it and fight to the floor with Zayn hitting a big flip dive. AJ is sent outside and Jericho eats a spear.

Of note: Zayn seemed to land awkwardly on that flip dive and BOLTED to the back with his arm dangling by his side. He ran off while the lights were down so most people couldn’t see him but it was definitely visible.

We look back at Vince agreeing to let Shane run Raw.

Back from a break and Shane makes a four way between Zayn, Owens, Jericho and Styles for the #1 contendership. Reigns thinks that’s just fine.

Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler

Before the match, Corbin says all you need to know about him is this trophy. Ziggler hammers away in the corner but gets elbowed in the face for his efforts. A forearm knocks Ziggler off the apron and we take a break. Back with Ziggler in a nerve hold and the fans cheering for a beach ball because some nitwit fan felt the need to pull one out and bat it around.

This would be during the Raw debut of an NXT talent that the same people probably begged to be promoted for months while chanting for NXT. I’d also be willing to bet that they’ll blame Vince for not pushing Corbin properly while Vince’s reaction is “they saw him in his first match and would rather play with a beach ball.” BUT THEY’RE JUST HAVING FUN! Anyway Corbin misses a charge and hits the post, setting up a neckbreaker for two. Deep Six gets the same for Corbin and they head outside into the crowd for the double countout at 8:32.

Rating: D+. This was an awkward one as Ziggler was kind of being squashed but is too big of a star for that treatment and tried to fight back but couldn’t make it work. Corbin looked good but I’m not sure why they didn’t just have him get the win here. It’s not like Ziggler can’t bounce back from a dozen losses or anything like that so just give Corbin the big win here. At least he didn’t lost though.

Post match Corbin gives him the End of Days on the floor.

We look back at Lesnar destroying Ambrose last night.

Here’s Zack Ryder with something to say. When Ryder was a kid he got to meet Razor Ramon and hold the Intercontinental Title. Well last night they took another picture with Ramon holding Ryder’s title, which makes for a really good pair of photos. Ryder thanks his dad (in the front row) but here’s Miz to interrupt. Last night Ryder stole what belongs to Miz and now it’s time to show that Ryder is just a flash in the pan. That means it should be time for a title shot right now. Ryder says Woo Woo Woo let’s do this.

Intercontinental Title: Zack Ryder vs. The Miz

Ryder is defending of course. Miz can’t get in an early Reality Check so Ryder dropkicks him for two. A baseball slide sends Miz into the barricade and we take a break. Back with Ryder getting knocked to the floor like the jobber that he is. Ryder fights back with some clotheslines but misses a dropkick, setting up the low DDT for two. The Rough Ryder misses but Ryder counters a suplex with a neckbreaker. I’ve always liked that counter.

The Elbow gets two on Miz but the Broski Boot misses. They head outside in front of Zack’s dad, so as you might expect, Miz is shoved down by Ryder Sr. To be fair, Zack’s dad is in better shape than half the roster. Fans: “MR. RYDER!” This brings out Maryse of all people (Miz’s wife) to slap Papa Ryder in the face, which is enough of a distraction for Miz to hit the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin and the title at 10:26.

Rating: D. Yeah this didn’t work. You can push Ryder as having a big moment all you want but at the end of the day, he’s still the same Zack Ryder who has been a jobbing goon for years now. It would be a stretch to have him beat Miz in the first place and an even bigger stretch to have him beat Miz to retain the title. As I’ve said already though, this was pretty clearly Neville’s spot and he would have fit better, but I’m not sure who else they could have put here, especially if Miz is just getting the title back so soon.

Also of note: Lillian started to get in the ring to announce a match before Miz came out at all. This led to what looked like quite an argument at ringside which went on for a bit between Lillian and a producer.

Owens says he lost the title because he was in the ring with six other guys so the loss was hardly fair. Last night Sami Zayn stole the title from him but now it’s on to bigger and better things, like winning the WWE World Title. Sami cost him the Intercontinental Title last night but he’s not costing him the World Title tonight. The road to KO Mania II begins tonight.

The Vaudevillains are coming on Smackdown.

All of the women including Lita come for the formal presentation of the Women’s Title. Lita talks about not having many role models to look up to as a kid. That’s not the case for the youngest generation today though because this division has never been stronger. Charlotte is introduced but the fans cut her off by wanting some Bayley. She says this title is about all the women in this ring who made this happen and because of all the fans…..who won’t stop singing about how they want Bayley. JBL: “These people are rude.”

Charlotte finally goes with the heel stuff by saying she won the title, but now the fans are on a WOMEN’S WRESTLING chant. The real credit goes to Ric Flair though because she got her here. The energy from the fans fueled her to her victory. It makes her laugh that she hasn’t even been here for a year while some of the less successful women have been here seven or eight years.

Sasha and Becky walk out and the rest of the women follow, save for Natalya. Somehow this turns into an argument over the Harts and the Flairs because that’s still a thing they’re pushing. Also ignore the fact that we just saw Charlotte vs. Natalya and haven’t gotten Sasha vs. Charlotte in a one on one feud yet. Natalya puts her in the Sharpshooter until Ric makes the save.

AJ Styles says it’s a new beginning and the start of a new era. That new era is going to be phenomenal.

Video on Primo and Epico, who really like Puerto Rico. This might actually be a downgrade from Los Matadores.

Usos vs. Dudley Boyz

Tables match. It’s a brawl to start of course and they head outside as JBL talks about his tables matches against Bubba and D-Von. Jimmy gets slammed to set up What’s Up but Bubba won’t do GET THE TABLES. The Usos pop up and dive onto the Dudleyz and we take a break. Back with Jey breaking up a superplex through the table as the fans are almost entirely behind the Dudleyz.

Jimmy dives over a table and onto Bubba with a splash. A double superkick breaks up a double powerbomb attempt, followed by the Usos running the barricade for a double dive. Back in and the Superfly splashes miss but drive the Usos through the tables. Apparently that’s enough to give the Dudley Boyz the win at 8:53, even though it’s long since been established that you have to drive them through a table using an offensive move. They’re not announced as the winners and JBL acknowledges that it was an early bell.

Rating: D. A lot of these matches really aren’t working for me and a lot of that is due to this match not needing to happen. I’d assume we’ll get a third match between them soon enough because the world is waiting on seeing who gets the advantage in a feud that isn’t interesting in the first place. The Usos need a new direction because they’re getting less and less interesting every time they come out.

Sami Zayn says he’s been in every kind of match around the world. He talks about wrestling around the world when Kevin Owens jumps him and gives him a powerbomb through a table.

Post break the Dudleyz are still at ringside yelling…..and here come Enzo and Cass to the pop of the night. Cole: “If you haven’t got a sample of them…..well some would say you’re in for a treat.” The fans start a loud HOW YOU DOIN chant before Enzo talks about being a smack talker skywalker with a lightsaber in his hand. The Dudleyz are still standing in the aisle and Enzo thinks they’re jealous because they’re ugly.

Bubba and D-Von look almost scared at how stupid this sounds but Enzo says he’ll use the gift of jab to knock that lazy eye back into place. Enzo: “Fall back like your hairline!” Cass invites the Dudleyz down for a fight but they back off like true heels. That’s enough for Cass to declare them SAWFT to wrap this up. Yeah the insults were kind of lame but this was all about the delivery and the reaction and these guys look like stars.

Zayn is officially out of the four way but a replacement will be named.

Ryder gets his rematch on Smackdown.

Dr. Phil will be the guest star next week. Why? No reason of course but he’s a celebrity and therefore interesting.

Kevin Owens vs. Chris Jericho vs. AJ Styles vs. ???

The mystery entrant is……Cesaro, who was the most likely option and very well received by the fans. If nothing else we get a cool new entrance as Cesaro comes out in a tear away suit with trunks underneath. AJ and Jericho fight in one corner with the other two across the ring before it’s off to AJ vs. Cesaro to a very nice reaction. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker drops AJ for two and we take a break.

Back with Jericho suplexing Styles but Cesaro gets back in, only to have Owens break up the Swing. The big guys head outside again as Jericho loads up a superplex on AJ, only to have Owens and Cesaro come back in to make it a Tower of Doom. With everyone else down, Cesaro starts running the corners for European uppercuts, only to have Owens get a boot up. AJ enziguris Kevin but walks into Swiss Death. Jericho clotheslines Cesaro outside but gets jumped by his fellow Canadian.

The package side slam gets two on Jericho, who avoids a Cannonball. The Lionsault hits knees though, only to have AJ hit the springboard 450 for two of his own. Owens gets back again and tells AJ to stay down with his stupid haircut but Cesaro gets back in and sends both of them into the corner for rotating European uppercuts. Jericho takes over a third corner and now it’s time for triple rotating uppercuts.

Chris breaks it up but dives into the Swing as it’s all Cesaro at this point. Owens superkicks AJ to block a springboard and there’s the Pop Up Powerbomb for two on Styles. A Codebreaker gets the same on Owens with Cesaro making the save. Cesaro gets caught in the Walls but he reverses into the Sharpshooter to a big reaction. AJ makes the save with the forearm to Cesaro and Peles Owens to the floor, only to eat a Codebreaker for two. A quick backslide attempt has Jericho in trouble but AJ keeps rolling forward into the Clash for the pin and the title shot at 16:44.

Rating: B+. This match was a blast with four potential winners until Styles pulled off the big surprise pin. I’m not sure where Cesaro goes after this as you would assume Sami vs. Owens for Payback so maybe Cesaro gets Jericho. Styles vs. Reigns could be something interesting if they build it up properly but it could also be a borderline disaster with the fans booing Reigns out of the building.

AJ celebrated for a very long time after the show went off the air.

Overall Rating: B-. I had a good time here, despite some big holes in a lot of what was going on. The Raw after Wrestlemania isn’t about the in ring action but rather all the events that take place. Cesaro returning, Shane taking over Raw (and seems to be more off camera than the Authority, which is already a huge plus) and a bunch of debuts are a good sign and there should be some fun matches going into Payback, even though a lot of them aren’t hard to figure out. This may not have been a great, blow away show but it showed some promise going forward which is all it needed to do.

Results

New Day b. Sheamus/King Barrett – Midnight Hour to Barrett

Sasha Banks b. Summer Rae – Bank Statement

Apollo Crews b. Tyler Breeze – Lifting powerbomb

Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler went to a double countout

Miz b. Zack Ryder – Skull Crushing Finale

Dudley Boyz b. Usos – The Usos went through tables

AJ Styles b. Chris Jericho, Cesaro and Kevin Owens – Styles Clash to Jericho

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Wrestlemania XXXII
Date: April 3, 2016
Location: AT&T Stadium, Arlington, Texas
Attendance: 101,763
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
America the Beautiful: Fifth Harmony

We’ve finally arrived at what might be the biggest show of all time. The attendance record is going to be set tonight (it just is) and the card is……well did I mention that attendance? Yeah the build to this one hasn’t been all that great with a double main event of Roman Reigns challenging HHH for the WWE World Title and Undertaker vs. Shane McMahon inside the Cell with Undertaker’s future at Wrestlemania vs. Shane controlling Raw on the line in a story that stops making sense as soon as you start thinking about it too much. Let’s get to it.

Again I was in the stadium for this so it’s my second time seeing the show but first time seeing the produced version.

The stadium looks nothing short of amazing, despite being mostly empty for the pre-show due to a lot of issues with getting people inside.

Pre-Show: US Title: Kalisto vs. Ryback

Kalisto is defending in this basic big guy vs. little guy feud. We get a nice tale of the tape with Ryback having 4.5 shoe sizes and more than double the bench press. The GOLDBERG chants begin at the bell and Kalisto isn’t sure how to start. A headlock proves to be a really bad idea as Ryback launches him away and easily sends him outside for a crash.

Kalisto comes back in with something like a top rope bulldog for two, followed by a nice fake out on a dive to set up double knees off the apron. Ryback will have none of that and LAUNCHES Kalisto into the air for a big crash as we take a break. Back with Ryback getting two off something we don’t see and a hard back elbow to the jaw gets the same. A running sitout powerslam gets the third straight near fall but Ryback gets a bit too cocky on a very delayed superplex, allowing Kalisto to turn it into a cross body for two.

The champ’s hurricanrana driver gets the same and there’s the corkscrew cross body for good measure. A hard slam has Kalisto in trouble so he tries to head to the corner, only to be pulled back with the turnbuckle pad coming off. You can see the ending coming from here as Kalisto sends him head first into the exposed buckle, setting up the Salida Del Sol for the pin to retain at 8:53.

Rating: C+. Really good choice for the opener here as they did everything they needed to do to get the crowd (well what little crowd they had) going. It’s such a simple idea to have someone smaller beat a big strong guy and they didn’t try to over think things out there. The ending might have been a bit of a stretch but at least Ryback keeps a bit of face after the loss. He needs to win something eventually though and I’m really not wild on having the title match on the pre-show.

Pre-Show: Total Divas vs. Bad and Blonde

This would be Brie Bella/Alicia Fox/Paige/Eva Marie/Natalya vs. Lana/Naomi/Summer Rae/Tamina/Emma in a match with no story worth mentioning because these things never have stories of note. Summer elbows Alicia in the face to start before getting two off a DDT. A tag to Emma draws all ten of them in for a huge staredown as we take a break. Back with Eva coming in to some horrible booing to face Emma. A not bad headscissors puts Emma down but Eva slaps Natalya hard on th\e shoulder instead of tagging Paige.

It’s quickly off to Naomi for those stupid dancing kicks but Paige comes in to play Bret to Natalya’s Anvil in a Hart Attack. Naomi misses a cross body and crashes into the ropes but still tags Emma back in for a wheelbarrow suplex. We finally get the tag to Lana, who started this whole thing by insulting Brie Bella. Somehow we wound up with this instead of whatever they were going for there and that’s probably best for everyone. Lana wrestling with her hair down and wearing basically a one piece swimsuit isn’t bad for anyone either.

Paige gets kicked down and Lana mocks the YES chants before bringing Tamina in. A lot of spot calling results in a broken up Tower of Doom and Paige diving onto the pile for a big crash. There’s still no hot tag though as Emma keeps Paige in the corner and stomps away. Paige finally gets away from Naomi and makes the hot tag to Brie as everything breaks down.

We get the parade of finishers (including Eva’s Sliced Bread #2 being booed halfway out of Texas) until the BRIE MODE knee is blocked by Naomi’s raised boot. The split legged moonsault hits mat (called a knee by Byron), allowing Brie to grab the arm and roll forward into the YES Lock (that looked awesome) for the submission at 11:25.

Rating: D. What were you expecting here? It was a huge mess with a bunch of women who have no idea how to do anything besides spots and barely being able to do those. This probably would have been better as a four person tag or even better as a match between Brie and Lana so there could be an actual story. Lana was fine in the little bit she was in the ring, but you know she’s a long term project. This was little more than a way to get them on the card though and that’s fine all around.

Post match Nikki Bella comes out in ring gear and a neck brace for the big return celebration because we’re supposed to cheer for Nikki and be impressed because of her injury.

Here’s Lita to talk about the history of women’s wrestling and to unveil the new Women’s Title belt which will be awarded to the winner of tonight’s triple threat. Also of note: she calls them superstars instead of Divas, which hopefully is a permanent name change. This is called the first title ever, even though the Women’s Title existed less than eight years ago. Still though it gets rid of that butterfly thing so it’s a step up.

Pre-Show: Usos vs. Dudley Boyz

This is over the Dudleyz not wanting to use tables anymore and trying to protect their legacies as a great team who don’t need weapons. The Dudleyz jump the twins to start with D-Von cranking on Jimmy’s neck and taking his head off with a clothesline. Bubba comes in to shout about beating up the Usos’ dad Rikishi, which Lawler calls a history lesson.

There are the dancing punches but Jimmy superkicks him down, setting up the hot tag to Jimmy. The Dudleyz beat him down too and get in What’s Up, only to have a double superkick break up the table grab. The reverse 3D gets two but Jimmy breaks up the 3D with a superkick. Another good looking superkick is enough to put D-Von away at 5:18.

Rating: C-. This was fine but it didn’t have anywhere near enough time to mean anything. The Usos vs. the Dudleyz should be a very solid match but you can only get so far on five minutes. That being said, neither team has that much of an upside at this point and I really don’t need to see them fight again, especially after this only decent effort.

Post match the Dudleyz get the tables, only to get superkicked again to set up double Superfly Splashes through the tables. The fans are NOT happy with that one.

It’s finally time for the regular show with the crowd mostly filled in. That’s such an amazing visual as the people just keep going and going.

Pop band Fifth Harmony sings a very nice America the Beautiful.

The opening video shows the Madison Square Garden microphone dropping to signify the start of a legend. Over the years this led to a group of legends such as giants, warriors and the dead rising. That brings us to the question of who becomes the next legend. This switches into a standard video about people rising up tonight to become legends in the usually awesome Wrestlemania style. Apparently this was narrated by Kelsey Grammer.

The camera pans around the stadium and that is just a sea of humanity.

Intercontinental Title: Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Miz vs. Zack Ryder vs. Stardust vs. Sin Cara

Owens is defending and this is a ladder match. This started as Owens vs. Zayn but Ziggler and Miz got involved for no worthy reason. Then Owens insulted Stephanie McMahon and you just can’t do that so she added the other three because she felt like it, and that of course trumps anything involving logic or storytelling. Stardust has Dusty inspired polka dots on his gear to make this feel special.

Everyone but Owens bails to the floor to start so it’s time to pose, only to have Zayn come in with a ladder for the big showdown. Ziggler hits Sami in the back with another ladder to take over before slamming Cara onto the ladder for good measure. The ring is cleared out and it’s Miz climbing up but for some reason he doesn’t open it all the way, allowing Sami and Dolph to make the save.

Owens comes back in and backdrops Zayn onto the ladder before shouting at him to go back to NXT. Ryder and Ziggler go up but get shoved down into the ropes for the save. Everyone winds up on the floor (I’m barely skipping anything in between these spots but that’s the case in most multi-man ladder matches.) and Zayn dives through the ladder for the big crash. Sami is right up with the diving DDT over the bottom rope to take out Owens for a huge reaction.

Cara gets back in and tries to go up, only to have Sami shove the ladder over, only to have Cara land on the top rope and flip dive onto everyone else. Ziggler starts busting out superkicks, including tuning up the band for one on Ryder. Owens is too smart enough for that though and it’s a double superkick to put both guys down. Now Stardust pulls out a polka dot ladder for a DUSTY chant and the Terry Funk helicopter spot until Miz breaks it up and hits the Skull Crushing Finale onto said ladder.

Owens will have nothing to do with the goofy ladder but has to block the Helluva Kick. A frog splash onto Zayn onto a bridged ladder have both guys down. Owens is up first though and it’s a Pop Up Powerbomb to drop Miz. Ryder sends Kevin into the ladder and hits a big old elbow drop off the ladder onto Miz for a huge crash.

That’s not enough to get the belt though as Ziggler runs up the ladder for a faceplant off the top to put himself and Ryder down. It’s even worse than that though as Ziggler comes up limping, allowing Owens to powerbomb him off the ladder. Stardust and Owens come back in and it’s Stardust being knocked onto a ladder bridged between the apron and the ring.

After kicking Zayn away, Cara dives through Stardust and through the ladder for a spot we’ve seen way too many times but still works due to the carnage. Owens and Zayn go up top for the slugout on the ladder before falling down, only to have Zayn grab a half and half suplex (half nelson/half tiger) onto the ladder. Miz climbs up but takes forever to pull down the belt, allowing Ryder to shove him off and pull down the title at 15:23.

Rating: B. This was your usually good ladder match but there was a bit too much going on. In other words, there were too many people in the match at the same time and it dragged things down. Ryder winning was a good way to pop the crowd at first but it’s pretty clear that this was supposed to be Neville. Even after the injury though, it certainly was nice of WWE to add even more people to this to make sure it was as messy as possible. Then again it’s a total spot fest and that’s all anyone was expecting it to be. Good choice for an opener at least.

Zack’s dad comes in to help celebrate. Cole says that’s Ryder’s big moment after nearly ten years of futility. That would include a Tag Team Title and the US Title so well done on making your own belts sound worthless.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho. Styles debuted back in January and was immediately cheered by the fans. He then went on to defeat Jericho on Raw, setting up a series of matches between the two. They then formed a tag team but lost in their shot at the Tag Team Titles. Jericho snapped and turned heel on AJ, setting up their fourth match here.

Chris Jericho vs. AJ Styles

They lock up around the ropes to start as the fans are split on who to cheer for. AJ nips up into a headscissors and Jericho throws a chair around in frustration. Back in and they slug it out but Jericho avoids the drop down into the dropkick by holding the ropes. That’s fine with AJ as he clotheslines Jericho outside but dives into a dropkick.

Now we get into the meat of the match as Jericho slows things down and stomps away before putting on a chinlock. That’s quite heelish of him. A dragon sleeper is as well but AJ pops up and does his striking sequence, capped off by a dropkick. Jericho grabs the Walls but AJ is quickly in the ropes and back up with an elbow to the face. AJ goes up top and fights off a superplex attempt, setting up a huge super gordbuster to put both guys down. Now the Walls go on full but AJ crawls through the legs and grabs the calf Crusher to a fairly strong reaction.

That’s escaped as well so AJ tries and failed at both finishers, only to walk into the Codebreaker for a delayed two. Nice job of protecting the finisher there, even though that concept stopped mattering years ago in WWE. A Tesshocker gets two for AJ so he grabs a rollup, only to flip backwards into the Styles Clash for two more (ROAR! THEY TOTALLY KILLED THE STYLES CLASH!!! EVERY TIME SOMEONE KICKS OUT OF A FINISHER IT CAN NEVER BE USED AGAIN!!! ROAR I SAY! Typical response I’ve seen to that near fall and as usual, wrestling fans need to calm down because it means nothing.).

The Lionsault hits knees so AJ gets in the springboard 450 for two. That means it’s time for the Phenomenal Forearm (which is his finisher now, even though people have to keep raving over the Styles Clash, which isn’t even all that great of a move) but Jericho counters into the Codebreaker for the pin at 17:10.

Rating: B. As in bamboozled, which I am over that ending. It was a solid wrestling match going into that last bit and then Jericho won. Why in the world would you have Jericho, who is older and nowhere near what he was before, beat a hot act like Styles here? The match was good but this needed to be the finale of the feud with AJ taking the final win but instead Jericho gets the pin. I really do not get this and I haven’t seen anyone else who has either.

Some celebrities are here.

Maria Menunos is in the back with Zack Ryder, who says he can retire now because this is the match of his life. He talks about meeting Razor Ramon when he was a kid and getting to hold Ramon’s Intercontinental Title. Tonight they’re taking a new picture but this time it’s going to be Razor holding HIS title. That’s a great line, though I can’t imagine Ryder holding the title long.

New Day vs. League of Nations

Non-title and non-handicap due to non-Barrett, despite it being a handicap match on the pre-show. None of that matters though as New Day comes out of a giant box of Bootyo’s dressed as Super Saiyans from Dragon Ball Z. Rusev is now in trunks instead of shorts and the look doesn’t work as well. There isn’t much of a story here other than New Day insulted the League a month or so ago and they’ve feuded ever since. No reason has been given for why this isn’t a title match and I doubt one is ever coming.

Kofi cross bodies Sheamus down to start as Cole says New Day is like the Freebirds. Just….no Michael. Like…..really no. Sheamus easily punches Woods down and it’s off to Del Rio as JBL compares the League to the Horsemen. EVEN MORE NO JBL! Woods gets in a discus forearm to put Alberto down but the running enziguri allows for the tag off to Sheamus.

That means it’s time for the forearms to the chest to the beat of NEW DAY ROCKS. Well to be fair everything else is done to that beat anymore. Woods finally sends Del Rio out to the floor but Sheamus is smart enough to break up the tag attempt. The other partners get in a brawl so Xavier DDTs Sheamus and makes the hot tag to Kofi.

Everything breaks down with Kingston cleaning house, only to have Rusev kick him in the head to break it up. Big E. suplexes Rusev over the apron so E. can spear all three members through the apron for a huge crash. Rusev laying on his back with his eyes open takes this up a step. A top rope double stomp gets two on Sheamus as Del Rio kicks away at Kofi. The double stomp drives Kingston into the floor (and it looks stupid outside too), leaving Barrett to Bull Hammer Woods into the Brogue Kick for the pin at 10:03.

Rating: C-. This is the point where Wrestlemania goes flying off the cliff, leaving us with the hope that it can hang on by its fingertips. New Day is quite possibly the most popular act in wrestling but for some reason they’re jobbing to the heatless wonders. Having AJ lose was one thing but for the life of me I have no idea what they were thinking here. New Day gets the big entrance and then they just lose? That’s the best they’ve got? The match was acceptable enough but the booking just does not make sense.

Post match Barrett says no three men can beat then so here are Shawn Michaels, Mick Foley and Steve Austin (Who just doesn’t fit here. Foley and Michaels are big names but they’re nowhere near Austin in any regard. A third legend would have worked better, though I’m not sure who you would bring in here.) to easily clean house. New Day comes in post beatdown and tries to get the three of them to dance. Michaels is with it of course and Foley has a Dude Love flashback, leaving us with Austin. This goes as badly as you would expect until he dances just a bit, only to Stun Woods a few seconds later. Much beer is consumed.

This was called a burial of the League and I really don’t know where to start with explaining why this is absurd. To begin with, it’s the League of Nations. How far do they have to be put down to bury them? Second, those are three of the biggest names of all time coming in fresh to beat up a team that just had a match. This was a one off moment to give the fans something to cheer for and it’s the highest profile thing the League has ever done. Stop overthinking this stuff every now and then and just enjoy a fun moment.

Ad for upcoming Network shows.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Dean Ambrose which is the latest in a series of challengers trying to fight Brock without much of a continuing story. In this case, Lesnar was involved in the triple threat at Fastlane where Reigns pinned Ambrose, setting up this match here so Dean can prove that Brock can’t hurt him. It’s also a street fight to give Dean a realistic (work with me here) chance.

Brock Lesnar vs. Dean Ambrose

Heyman, seemingly taken aback by the size of the crowd, handles Brock’s introduction for a nice touch. Brock drives him into the corner to start as is his traditional custom. We get the first suplex, which puts a big 1 on the huge video screens above the ring, which would continue counting throughout the match. We’re already at #3 and it’s all Brock so far. Dean grabs a kendo stick for some shots but Brock knees him away and hits two more Germans.

The fans are split on who to cheer for as Lesnar picks up the stick (JBL: “This is something you would see in Kilimanjaro.” Sure JBL. Sure.) before throwing it away. There’s another suplex before Brock stomps him down even more. Somehow this turns into a discussion of ice cubes in Puerto Rico because JBL and Byron can’t stop having their stupid arguments.

Brock stands on the stick so Dean can’t pick it up, followed by suplex number eight. Some forearms just tick Brock off even more, setting up number nine. Now Brock offers Dean a chance to come get the stick but Brock stands on it again, allowing Dean to hit him low for a hope spot. It never ceases to amuse me that a low blow is the only thing that can really hurt Brock.

Dean finds the chainsaw from Terry Funk which of course doesn’t work because this is wrestling and not a slasher movie. Suplex number ten sends Dean flying on the floor, followed by a belly to belly superplex for number eleven. Dean finally gets in a fire extinguisher blast and some weak chair shots, including a dropkick to drive the chair into Lesnar.

The chair elbow drop gets two but Dean opts to throw in a bunch of chairs instead of, you know, hitting Brock with the one he has. The stupid delay allows Brock to suplex Dean over the chairs but the F5 is countered into a DDT (not) onto the chairs for two. Now it’s time for the baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire but the swing misses (of course), allowing Brock to F5 him onto the chairs for the pin at 13:06.

Rating: D+. The more I think about this match the less I like it. This was just a step above a squash as Lesnar never felt like he was in any danger whatsoever and made Dean look like a very second class talent by comparison. I’m really not sure what the point of these Brock matches are supposed to be these days as he’s just a monster with no purpose other than coming in for the occasional squash. They don’t lead anywhere and are just standalone matches so why is this supposed to be interesting? At least make Brock sweat or something because there was never any drama here.

Flair and Zack Ryder have a WOO off but it turns out to be a Snickers commercial where Ryder takes a bite and turns into Charlotte. So wait: Charlotte is the Intercontinental Champion?

Hall of Fame recap.

We get the Hall of Fame class presentation with Godfather (limited reaction but positive), Stan Hansen (about the same), Big Boss Man (better reaction), Jacqueline (surprisingly decent cheering), Joan Lunden (nothing of note), the Freebirds (roar), Snoop Dogg (reaction was there) and of course Sting with the full entrance and a roar. That’s a solid class but Godfather looks so out of place.

We see Lita debuting the Women’s Title earlier tonight.

The recap video for the Women’s Title match is rather cool as it has a theme of searching for things on the WWE Network, showing the history of the women’s division back in the day, which brought us here to the Divas Revolution. You have Charlotte defending against her former Four Horsewomen partners Becky Lynch, who Charlotte has never defeated and Sasha Banks, who no one has ever beaten. There’s a chance that this could steal the show if they let it be an NXT style match.

Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks vs. Becky Lynch

Charlotte, in a robe made from the robe Ric wore in his retirement match, has her dad with her. Sasha, the overwhelming crowd favorite is in Eddie Guerrero style gear here and is introduced by her cousin Snoop Dogg with a custom rap. Charlotte gets chopped down to start but the challengers start trading near falls instead of following up. A nice pinfall reversal sequence ensues until Becky is sent outside, leaving the fans to cheer for Sasha as she stares Charlotte down. An Eddie style armdrag out of the corner sets up the dance but Becky is back in. They botch what was supposed to be a Sasha sunset flip to make Becky suplex Charlotte (hard spot to be fair) so the champ goes outside for a bit. That goes nowhere so Charlotte takes Sasha’s place, only to eat a reverse DDT for two. Charlotte rams Becky’s head into the mat a few times before going in on the knee.

Sasha comes back in but can’t get the double knees in the corner. Instead it’s Becky slapping an armbar on Charlotte until Sasha makes the save, only to have Charlotte send her outside and slap the Figure Eight on Becky. This brings Sasha back in with a frog splash for the save and a nice ovation.

Becky comes back in to suplex Sasha but gets kneed in the chest, only to have her send Sasha through the ropes for a flip dive (Which seemed to be a botch as it looked like her foot caught the top rope.) to take out Charlotte. Becky dives onto Ric for no good reason but the fans lose their minds at the old man getting dropped.

Charlotte is up first and moonsaults down onto both challengers to really get the crowd into it. The announcers are really trying to push this as the dawning of a new era and while I don’t know if I’d go that far, it’s definitely awesome so far. Back in and a double Natural Selection gets two each for Charlotte but Sasha winds up on her shoulders, followed by a missile dropkick from Becky.

The Disarm-Her has Charlotte in trouble but Sasha comes over with the Bank Statement, only to have Charlotte put Sasha in the Figure Four (not Eight). That’s turned over as well but Charlotte reverses the reversal into the Figure Eight. Of course that’s broken up by Becky and all three are down. Charlotte chops both of them from their knees so they pound her down, only to have Becky and Sasha punch each other in the face.

A wicked spear cuts Sasha in half though and Charlotte goes up. That quickly backfires as well though as Sasha gets up, allowing Becky to tie her in the Tree of Woe. A superplex sends Charlotte flying but Sasha gets Becky (and her BADLY bruised eye) in the Bank Statement. Charlotte is right back in for the save though and the Figure Eight makes Becky tap at 16:03 while Flair holds Sasha back.

Rating: B+. They were rocking here and a blown spot or two less would have made this a classic. Above all else this felt like an NXT women’s match instead of a main roster Divas match, which is exactly what the point of this was supposed to be. Hopefully this becomes the focal point of the division instead of all the lame action you get more often than not.

The big criticism here is simple though: it should have been Sasha. If there has ever been a moment perfectly set up for a title change, it was right here. Sasha had the custom entrance, the special tights and the crowd entirely behind her…..and it’s Flair interfering to keep the title on Charlotte, just like it always is. I don’t get this mentality of setting something up for down the road when you’re at Wrestlemania. It didn’t make sense when Lawler lost to Cole and it doesn’t make sense here. Great match though.

Charlotte gets a ton of pyro, including a series of fireworks outside the stadium. That really did make it feel like a bigger moment, just like it should be.

The Cell is lowered.

We recap Shane vs. Undertaker and I still get lost in this whole thing. So Shane apparently had dirt on Vince and kept holding it over his head so Shane tried to get control of Raw. Vince agreed to put Raw up in exchange for whatever proof Shane had of what Vince did (the specifics of which have still not been explained and likely never will be). Shane has to fight the Undertaker inside the Cell tonight and unfortunately no one gives Shane much of a chance due to his age, time away from the ring, and HIS OPPONENT IS THE UNDERTAKER. Oh and Undertaker is done at Wrestlemania if he loses just in case you thought Shane could win.

This story has been a mess from the start and it’s not really clear who you’re supposed to cheer for. Do you go for Shane who is up against Vince and the evil Authority (after saying how much Raw has sucked in recent years) or against Undertaker who is the legend fighting for Vince because…….well it’s not really clear but in theory it’s because Vince is Vince. The idea is that Shane is in WAY over his head, which he certainly is, making this whole thing a mess. To be fair though there’s a good chance that Shane was supposed to be John Cena before the injury took him off the card. Unfortunately, this is the best thing we can get.

I know Shane being back has given a lot of fans a bunch of nostalgia but that doesn’t mean he’s capable of having a long match with anyone, let alone an old Undertaker. This has the potential to be a bunch of fun spots but having it be an actual quality match is almost completely out of the question.

Shane McMahon vs. Undertaker

Inside the Cell of course. Of course the entrances take forever with Shane’s going long as well due to having his children (Vince’s grandchildren) dance out with him as Shane dollars fall from the ceiling. As usual, this creates an issue as the bills are everywhere, including sticking to the side of the Cell. Shane throws a kick to start for no effect before they start jabbing at the air in front of each other.

They head outside with Undertaker in control and “methodically taking his time” according to Cole because he doesn’t get that they mean the same thing. Back in and a single right hand puts Shane down but he back elbows Undertaker in the jaw to block a big boot. Cole follows up by saying this is a cat and mouse game, making sure to point out that Undertaker is indeed the cat.

Undertaker messes with some steps but gets caught with kicks as he comes back in, earning Shane a whip into the cage wall. The apron legdrop sets up the Last Ride for two and I’m done with this match five and a half minutes in. That move can give Undertaker World Titles and major wins but it can’t beat Shane McMahon when Undertaker has barely been touched? I just can’t buy that no matter how much of an athlete Shane is.

Undertaker brings the steps in but gets caught in a long triangle choke, which would be laughed off and broken in ten seconds from any other opponent but since it’s Shane it’s hard to counter for some reason. Undertaker gets Shane on his back for a cover and the hold is broken, allowing Undertaker to chokeslam him onto the steps for another two.

Oh come on now. Neither of those moves are enough to put Shane away? That’s what I’m supposed to buy? Based on those moves, this match shouldn’t have made it ten minutes but they seem to just be starting up. Undertaker misses an elbow and hits the steps so Shane says bring it on. That’s actually enough to sucker Undertaker in for a DDT onto the steps for two and the actual wrestler is WAY more out of it than he should be after one or maybe two big moves in ten minutes.

Undertaker sits up so Shane punches him in the face, earning himself a Hell’s Gate. Shane somehow escapes that (as in the move that put HHH away at a Wrestlemania) for a bad Sharpshooter, with the referee telling him to take his time. Thankfully Undertaker powers out pretty easily but he can’t handle Shane hitting him in the face a few times. Undertaker can take punches from BROCK LESNAR but Shane takes a few weeks of MMA training and he can punch Undertaker down?

Shane hits Coast to Coast and it’s only good for two because one foot driving a trashcan into Undertaker’s chest (more like stomach as the can didn’t seem to make any actual contact) actually isn’t enough to put him away. Shocking I know but we keep going. Shane gets up and finds boltcutters under the ring to break open pat of the cage wall. Undertaker is quickly to his feet though and drives Shane through the wall and up against the German announcers’ table, which really isn’t a huge impact as the wall only goes a few feet before being stopped.

It’s time to load up the announcers’ table and Undertaker calls for the Tombstone, only to have Shane counter into a sleeper. Not a special MMA choke, but a run of the mill sleeper. Instead of like, countering by easily flipping Shane over, Undertaker just stands there for a bit before driving both of them through the table for a good looking crash.

Shane comes up with a toolbox to knock Undertaker silly though…..and Shane looks at the top of the Cell. A monitor shot to the head keeps Undertaker down and it’s time to go up. Shane takes forever to finally dive off, driving himself through the table and right onto the visible crash pad.

I was genuinely scared when he was up there and seeing the pad helps a good bit as that thing is HUGE. I get that they had to have it but couldn’t they find a better way to hide it? After a lot of sitting around so Shane can be checked out, Shane says bring it on. Back in and Shane pulls himself onto the steps where Undertaker tells him to bring it. The Tombstone finally puts Shane away at 30:05.

Rating: D. Nope. You can take the nostalgia, you can take Shane fighting for his legacy (whatever that means this year) and you can pretend that Shane can get through this with pure heart and it doesn’t matter. This flat out did not work for me and it didn’t work for several reasons.

First and foremost, I do not buy that Shane McMahon is a threat to the Undertaker, nor do I buy that he could kick out of a Last Ride and chokeslam onto the steps before getting out of Hell’s Gate. They lost me as soon as that happened because, as has been established, Shane isn’t a wrestler and therefore shouldn’t be able to survive that kind of stuff. I know you can stretch a lot of the time but this was too much for me to believe.

Second, this was WAY too long at over half an hour. This went longer than Shawn vs. Undertaker inside the Cell and was the fifth longest Cell match in history. The elbow was cool (terrifying but cool) but that’s not enough to warrant this match going longer than Undertaker vs. Mankind or HHH vs. Cactus Jack. This should have been cut in half and had the time given to other stuff or maybe cut off so the show isn’t pushing five hours.

Third, it was barely a match. This was a bunch of stretches of Undertaker beats on Shane then misses a big move so Shane can get in some garbage stuff. That’s entertaining for a little while but then it gets to be the same stuff over and over. I know Shane isn’t a wrestler, but that’s the problem: you need someone more capable to have a match that lasts half an hour.

Finally, there was barely any reason to have this in the Cell other than “it’s a Cell match.” Other than the big spot at the end, the cage was barely used and there was next to no reason for these two to hate each other. Vince decided we were having this match and they tried to work in some hated or anger later but it never clicked. This easily could have been no holds barred or something and just had Shane dive off the stage or something but instead we had the Cell, which took even more time to get ready and hype up.

Overall it’s certainly not the worst match I’ve ever seen for the gimmick and I was entertained at times but it was just too long with too many leaps in realism. This is a match where Shane should have brought people in to help him and maybe set something up for Undertaker later.

Instead it was like when Vince and Shane fought DX with no help: no one believes it because the wrestler is just too good for the businessman who wrestles on occasion. This could have worked at about fifteen minutes but it was dragging at twelve and only came close to picking up near the end. I wasn’t a fan here and it was worse on a second viewing.

Shane is wheeled out on a stretcher to eat up even more time. He throws a thumbs up and pounds his chest for the crowd.

Here’s the pre-show panel while the ring is cleaned up.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Fandango, Damien Sandow, Shaquille O’Neal, Big Show, Viktor, Diamond Dallas Page, Konnor, Tatanka, Jack Swagger, R-Truth, Goldust, Baron Corbin, Curtis Axel, Adam Rose, Heath Slater, Tyler Breeze, Mark Henry, Bo Dallas, Darren Young, Kane

Page was a cool surprise with the music getting a strong pop. Put the guy in the Hall of Fame already. Tatanka was at Axxess earlier in the day but I have no idea why he’s in this. O’Neal was a surprise, even though his TapOut graphic flashed during Big Show’s entrance. Show and Shaq have the staredown but Kane interrupts it, only to have everyone get knocked down to the floor so we can have the real showdown.

Fandango tries to dance but gets tossed by the giants. Shaq eliminates Sandow as well before it’s time for the big choke off, only to have everyone come in and eliminate Shaq and Show. The match turns into a regular battle royal now, minus all of the interest because…..well look at the lineup. Page Diamond Cuts Viktor for an easy elimination but Konor actually gets rid of the yoga guy.

Truth dumps Konor and it’s time for the Tatanka warpath. That lasts as long as you would expect it to before Corbin dumps Tatanka. Kane gets rid of Swagger and it’s time for the Social Outcasts to clean house, including eliminating Truth. Goldust follows Truth to the floor and it’s time for the BO TRAIN!

Kane quickly derails it (duh) and Corbin cuts off the other exit. Axel and Rose are quickly out but Kane chokeslams Corbin. Henry gets back in and easily throws out Slater. Breeze follows them as the ring is suddenly mostly empty. Kane and Young (now there’s a pair) eliminates Henry. Darren celebrates and gets dumped at the same time as Dallas, only to have Corbin throw Kane out for the BIG surprise win at 9:41.

Rating: D. The match sucked but Corbin winning was the perfect call. It instantly gives him a path to running up the main roster and that’s all this was supposed to be. Kane being the last man out is fine but I’m really annoyed that the battle royal has taken such a fall in the last two years. It’s now just another battle royal with lower card and midcard goons, but at least two of the first three winners have been people in need of a push.

Wrestlemania XXXIII will be in Orlando.

Here are the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders for a completely unnecessary (yet very visually appealing) dance number. Yeah it’s just an excuse to have good looking women in glorified swimsuits but here’s the Rock to spice things up. Oh wait he can’t walk through the cheerleader tunnel yet because……he’s got a flamethrower. He plays with it a bit before lighting up a big ROCK sign, which is put out a few moments later.

Rock FINALLY comes down to the ring, making sure to show off the bicep to one of the cheerleaders along the way. A mere SEVEN AND A HALF MINUTES after the cheerleaders came out, Rock says his first word. Rock talks about seeing smiling faces on all four sides of the stadium, which means there are going to be a lot of Wrestlemania babies in nine months. He talks about how awesome it is to be here with the millions (which he keeps saying) before FINALLY getting to the point: announcing the new Wrestlemania attendance record. Rock says it’s about to get good…..and we’ve got Wyatts.

Seeing the fireflies in the stadium really was one of the coolest things I got to see all night and was definitely worth seeing in person. Bray introduces himself and his brothers before saying he chose Rock. See, Rock represents success, greatness and a lie. This moment doesn’t belong to the Rock or to the people but to Bray Wyatt himself. Rock looks a bit nervous but immediately starts mocking Bray for saying he would eviscerate Rock right now. “You come out here and talk like you’ve been hitting the bong for about eight days straight jack.”

Rowan’s parents are clearly related and Strowman looks like he’s been breast fed since he was 26 years old. As for Bray though, Rock has had his eye on him since Bray got to the WWE. Bray has the ability and the charisma (nice applause for that) and when his music hit, 100,000 people put their phones in the air. Then Bray said he wanted to eviscerate the Rock but that’s knocking on a door that he doesn’t want answered. Bray can say he’s the eater of worlds but Rock thinks he’s just the eater of Hot Pockets.

Rock is wrong though because Bray is here to kick a door down because he has no idea who he’s fooling with right now. There goes the shirt but Rock doesn’t think we’re going to have a Wrestlemania fight. No, we’re going to have a Wrestlemania MATCH. We’ve got a referee out here and there go the tear away pants. This is actually happening and the fans are WAY into it.

The Rock vs. Erick Rowan

Bell, Rock Bottom, six seconds. Well it was indeed a match and a Wrestlemania record.

The Wyatts surround the ring…..and here’s John Cena for the save. Rowan and Strowman take finishers and it’s a spinebuster into the Rock Bottom for Bray. Rock grabs a mic, says welcome back to Cena, and wraps it up after twenty eight minutes, or longer than anything all night but the Cell.

Oh and no this wasn’t a burial of the Wyatts. This was the Wyatts interacting with one of the biggest stars of all time and having him beat their lackey whose entire job is to take the fall in losses. The segment is going to set up the Wyatts turning face and maybe going somewhere for a change. Also it was Rock praising Bray, which of course buries him like it buried Rusev back in the day, before Rusev won the US Title and then beat John Cena on pay per view. You know, after crawling out of the grave that Rock put him in and all that. This was fine for the Wyatts and not a burial. Well other than being WAY too long of course.

Long recap of Roman Reigns vs. HHH, which is basically HHH wanting to hold Reigns down because Reigns didn’t want to join the Authority. This turned into a really watered down story with HHH wanting to prove that he still had it with the feud dying more and more every week. Reigns has been more aggressive lately which has made things better, but this is still just a step above a disaster coming in.

We see a bunch of men with white heads and metal plates over their faces. As in thousands of them, all standing in a huge group. Stephanie is shown in the HHH skull mask standing in front of a throne looking like a witch. She wants us to rise in their presence because we all exist to serve them. They are the leaders and the power because they own all of us. After tonight, all hope will be gone because only HHH can stand in the coliseum of the immortals. Here’s a quick translation: “WE’RE HEELS! BOO US AND NOT REIGNS!”

WWE World Title: Roman Reigns vs. HHH

HHH comes to the ring flanked by an army of the white headed guys (all from NXT in theory), all carrying WWE Titles. Reigns is loudly booed but it’s not quite as bad as I was expecting. HHH grabs a headlock to start and slaps Reigns in the back of the head. Remember that they hate each other and keep wanting to hurt the other as much as possible.

Reigns gets sent over the top and out to the floor before HHH starts in on his arm. There’s a right hand to send HHH into the corner and Reigns throws in a crotch chop. That earns HHH a whip across the ring but he avoids a charge and hits Reigns in the back of the head. Some pretty loud spot calling sets up a knee to the back of the head, followed by a stiff punch to Roman’s face.

Reigns comes back with the running clothesline and apron boot, only to have Stephanie offer a distraction so HHH can get in a low blow. I guess it’s not enough that she takes everyone’s balls but now she’s helping get her husband some balls too. A slugout goes to Reigns but a spinebuster gives HHH two. They head outside with Reigns being rammed face first into the table and then being thrown over it for good measure.

You can hear the fans groaning at the slow pace, especially over six hours into the evening. Back in and a middle rope knee gets two for the champ but he tries again and gets punched out of the air. A Samoan drop gets two and has Stephanie panicking but HHH avoids the Superman punch by rolling to the outside. This is dragging BADLY here as HHH still can’t work an epic style match to save his life.

Reigns sends him into the steps and followed with a huge spear through the barricade. Good thing the security guards had already cleared out that part of the crowd. Reigns’ left arm is hanging as they get back inside, only to have the Superman punch countered into an armbar because this hasn’t gone long enough yet.

Reigns rolls out of another armbar and lifts HHH up into the sitout powerbomb for two as this just keeps going. HHH is right back with the cross armbreaker but Reigns counters exactly the same way. The spear is blocked and HHH tries a Pedigree, which is quickly countered with a backdrop over the top. Back in and the spear gets two as Stephanie pulls the referee out.

That means another spear but Stephanie takes it instead…..and suddenly Reigns is as popular as free beer in a frat house. I mean the place is suddenly WAY into him all for finally giving Stephanie what she had coming to her. HHH is livid and gets two off a Pedigree. The Superman punch connects but the spear eats knee. Stephanie hands him the sledgehammer but it’s another Superman punch and the spear for the title at 27:11.

Rating: D. HHH needs to stop trying to go big because he just can’t pull it off. I don’t know how else to put it but he just can’t do it. This was yet another match that didn’t fit the story in the slightest as it was more like HHH was trying to outsmart Reigns instead of beating on each other like two men out for blood. It was a boring match and a really weak way to wrap up this show. The spear to Stephanie was PERFECT though and something long overdue. I don’t need her to get beaten up every single week or anything but taking a bump every now and then isn’t going to kill her or her all important heat.

Reigns celebrates a lot.

A five minute highlight package ends the show.

Overall Rating: C-. We’ll get to the elephant in the stadium later and start off by saying there’s a lot of good stuff on here. The wrestling is strong almost throughout save for the double main event with the women’s match and the ladder match standing out as very entertaining stuff. If the two big matches hadn’t been so horrible, this show would shoot up the charts.

Then there’s the booking. Oh yes then there’s the booking. From Ryder (who was clearly supposed to be Neville) winning the title after winning two matches on Raw in a year to AJ and New Day losing to Dean practically getting squashed to Sasha not winning, it was a big night for the heels with very little to cheer for. Just a bad night of decision making which seemed to be nothing more than a way to get on the fans’ nerves.

However, that leaves us with the big problem: counting the pre-show, this was just under seven hours long, or TRIPLE what Takeover: Dallas was. I get that Wrestlemania is bigger than anything all year but they went WAY too far this year. Looking back at the show, the Cell could have been cut in half, Rock’s promo could have lost five to ten minutes and the main event could have been ten minutes shorter. That’s not much but it gets you down over half an hour, which is getting closer to manageable.

That’s where the show loses it for me and for most people. If you can get this down to under six hours (counting the pre-show, which could have been chopped down too), you have a much better show. If you can fix the booking issues (which could have been mostly solved by having AJ and New Day win), this show is instantly higher up on the list of great shows.

Overall, Wrestlemania was really starting to feel like a chore near the end. You shouldn’t be sitting there thinking “we’ve got this and this left to get through and then we can leave”. At a show like this, or really any show actually, you should be excitedly waiting for the main event. However, it really doesn’t matter what that match is when it’s six hours into a show. It’s just too long and it really hurt things.

There’s a lot of good on this show and the surprises really helped it out, but in any wrestling show you can reach a point where the decisions being made outweigh anything that can go on in the ring. So many things at the show held back the good stuff and there wasn’t much of a way around that, which is why this show fell as far as it did. It’s an entertaining show, but it really needs a good shaking while someone pulls back on the booker’s reins.

Results

Zack Ryder b. Kevin Owens, Miz, Dolph Ziggler, Sami Zayn, Stardust and Sin Cara – Ryder pulled down the title

Chris Jericho b. AJ Styles – Codebreaker

League of Nations b. New Day – Brogue Kick to Woods

Brock Lesnar b. Dean Ambrose – F5 onto a pile of chairs

Charlotte b. Becky Lynch and Sasha Banks – Figure Eight to Lynch

Undertaker b. Shane McMahon – Tombstone

Baron Corbin won the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal last eliminating Kane

The Rock b. Erick Rowan – Rock Bottom

Roman Reigns b. HHH – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D4D3EGQ

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Looking at some of the other WWE stories from the weekend.

http://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-in-other-news/