Today is maybe my favorite ECW wrestler: Tajiri.

Tajiri got things started back in late 1993 so we’ll pick things up in IWA Japan on October 16, 1994.

Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. El Gran Apache

They shake hands to start and we’re ready to go. Apache takes him down to the mat and does a headstand to escape a wristlock. They stay on the mat with Apache holding him in a leg lock. Armdrags don’t get Tajiri anywhere as he keeps getting thrown down. Instead a kick puts Apache down but he chops the skin off Tajiri’s chest. Tajiri goes to the corner for a wrist drag, only to get hiptossed back down.

Apache is just outclassing Tajiri right now. Both guys nip up and it’s Tajiri cranking on a headlock. Gran reverses into a headscissors before they speed things up again with Apache nailing a high cross body. Tajiri is sent outside and gets taken down by a big plancha. Back in and Tajiri escapes another armbar and nails a dropkick for two.

Apache easily fights out of a chinlock and hits a backsplash before punching Tajiri down in the corner. A suplex gets two for Gran but Tajiri comes back with some running dropkicks in the corner. Apache avoids a moonsault and grabs a bad looking reverse sunset flip (as in he starts like you usually would but falls back instead of going forward) for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was better than I was expecting and it worked really well. The problem here is Tajiri hasn’t figured out a character yet so he was just a guy in trunks doing what he could. Apache is a veteran who had forgotten more than Tajiri had ever learned at this point so it wasn’t much of a contest. Tajiri was trying though.

Tajiri would get a one off appearance in the WWF on Raw, April 22, 1996.

Godwinns vs. Tajiri/Ken Patterson

Tajiri, who looks to be about a foot and a half shorter, starts with Phineas. A cross body doesn’t work but Phineas misses an elbow drop. Henry and Patterson come in and here comes Sunny with the Tag Team Titles. Hillbilly Jim runs her off with his hound dog as Henry slams Patterson. Back to Phineas for some headbutts before Henry ends Ken with a Slop Drop.

Rating: D. This was a preview for Sunday’s title match when the Godwinns would challenge the Body Donnas. The match was nothing more than a squash with an angle involved, which isn’t the most interesting thing in the world. However it’s what Raw consisted of back in the day so you had to get used to it.

Back to Japan for the January 4, 1997 NJPW Dome Show.

Shinjiro Otani vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri

Tajiri pulls his hand back on a handshake before kicking Otani in the face to start. More kicks in the corner have Otani in trouble and Tajiri stays on the arm. A German suplex gets two on Otani and Shinjiro is reeling. He comes back out of nowhere with a dropkick to the knee and Otani has a target. We hit a leg lock for a good bit until Tajiri crawls over to the ropes. Otani takes him into the corner for a facewash, followed by a spinning kick to the face.

They slap it out and both guys go down in a sudden fall. Otani is up first but misses a missile dropkick and gets caught in a German suplex for two. Tajiri throws him outside and nails an Asai moonsault to put both guys down. They head back inside and Otani counters a kick into a quickly broken ankle lock.

Tajiri rolls him around in a sunset flip for two and hooks a top rope hurricanrana for the same. A second hurricanrana is countered with a powerbomb, followed by a sitout powerbomb from Otani. He lets Tajiri up though and hits a springboard spinwheel kick (the same kind of kick that Tajiri hit him with at the beginning) for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was good stuff with both guys nailing each other. The fact that I have no idea what was going on here but I could figure out what kind of story they were telling is a very impressive thing. Tajiri disrespected the bigger star in Otani and the veteran wasn’t going to stand for it. Good stuff.

It’s off to ECW at this point with Tajiri starting around Guilty As Charged 1999.

Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Super Crazy

Both guys are new to the company. These two fought roughly 90,000 times and this is one of the first. Super Crazy is a high flying luchador and Tajiri is a hard striking wrestler from Japan. He’s clean shaven here but would eventually grow a beard and become one of ECW’s better workers. This is the kind of a match that ECW needed to fill out their pay per view cards and have exciting, non-hardcore matches. Feeling out process to start and Crazy won’t throw a closed fist. We get a very fast paced sequence with both guys taking the other to the mat for arm trap cradles for two each.

A tornado DDT drops Tajiri but he comes back with some very hard kicks to the head to take over. Back up and they trade chops to the chest before Tajiri kicks the knee out. Off to a leg bar on Crazy but he gets to the ropes and bails to the floor. That’s fine with Tajiri who nails a HUGE Asai moonsault. They fight to the apron and Tajiri hooks the Tarantula (a Boston crab over the ropes) but as always it doesn’t last long.

Crazy comes back with a springboard missile dropkick to send Tajiri to the floor followed by a HUGE flip dive to keep Crazy in control. A moonsault off the barricade crushes Tajiri before sending him back inside for a surfboard. Crazy keeps the hold on and bends Tajiri back into a dragon sleeper with the legs still bent back for a PAINFUL looking hold. Back up and Tajiri dropkicks the knee out and hits a huge dive to the floor (with Crazy nice enough to stand there with his arms open so Tajiri could hit him).

Tajiri slowly gets up first and kicks Crazy in the head. Back inside and a spinwheel kick to the face gets two for Tajiri but he comes back with a majistral cradle for two but Tajiri comes back with one of his own for the same. Crazy flips out of a German suplex attempt and hits a moonsault press for two. Tajiri heads outside again and another dive takes him down. Back in and a missile dropkick puts Tajiri down but he rolls through a tornado DDT.

Tajiri gets caught in a reverse tornado DDT but is able to counter a powerbomb into a DDT of his own. Tajiri blocks a moonsault by raising his boots before nailing a sunset bomb for two. Back up and Crazy hits a sitout powerbomb for another two so Tajiri does the same to him. As Crazy is kicking out though, Tajiri keeps his legs around Crazy’s arms and rolls him around the ring. They slug it out until Tajiri hooks a dragon suplex (full nelson suplex) for the pin.

Rating: B+. Yes it was a spot fest, but here’s the difference between this and the other spot fests that I’ve complained about so far: this was all them. There wasn’t a table and chair being brought in every five minutes and there weren’t a bunch of spots that had almost no effect at all. It was two guys doing whatever they could think of with just their bodies and the ring (plus the occasional barricade) to beat each other. Also it was only about twelve minutes instead of double that, meaning it didn’t overstay its welcome. This was very entertaining stuff and the best match ECW has had in awhile.

Another match from Hardcore Heaven 1999.

Little Guido vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri

Guido comes to the ring sitting on Big Sal’s shoulders. Tajiri spits at Big Sal in some rare emotion before the bell. He’s back to hailing from Yokohoma, Japan. The now serious Guido catches an incoming kick and takes Tajiri to the mat for some ground and pound. He works on the leg but gets flipped over, allowing Tajiri to fire off kicks to the head. Guido comes back with some stomping in the corner and puts on a Fujiwara armbar.

A missile dropkick sends Tajiri out to the floor but he sidesteps a dive over the ropes. Tajiri dives onto the Italians and takes Guido down but Sal only loses his sunglasses. Back in and Guido loses half of his trunks when Tajiri grabs a sunset flip. The Tarantula has Guido in agony but Sal makes a save. Guido tries a headscissors but gets sent to the ramp. He comes back with a slingshot legdrop to drive Tajiri’s head onto the ramp, good for two back inside.

Back in and Tajiri gets caught in another Fujiwara armbar but lets it go and distracts the referee so Big Sal can powerslam Tajiri. We hit a keylock (arm hold) on Tajiri but he breaks it up with a low blow. Guido wins a chop off and gets two off a legdrop. A powerbomb gets the same but Tajiri counters the Boston crab. Dropkicks to the knees put Guido down but Tajiri can’t hook the dragon suplex. Instead he bends Guido over his back and spins him around before slapping the taste out of Guido’s mouth. Tajiri puts him in the Tree of Woe for a baseball slide before a kick to the head and brainbuster put Guido away.

Rating: C+. Tajiri got to show some personality this time and he was more interesting as a result. This was a solid match and again, it was different from the stuff that Tajiri and Crazy had been doing. It’s a good sign for the future as these guys are getting more and more developed every time they’re out there. Solid match.

Tajiri would turn heel around this time and get a World Title shot at Heat Wave 1999.

ECW World Title: Taz vs. Tajiri

Taz kicks Tajiri in the head as security comes to help Francine to the back. Tajiri comes back with the handspring elbow and a spinwheel kick sends Taz outside. A huge Asai moonsault over the top rope takes Taz down again. Back in and Taz counters the Tarantula with a whip spinebuster. Tajiri tries a sleeper but gets taken down in a belly to back Tazplex. There’s a head and arms Tazplex for good measure, drawing a shot at Perry Saturn at the same time.

Tajiri comes back with a hard kick to Taz’s weak neck but takes too much time going up, allowing Taz to super Tazplex him down. The hard kicks to the head stagger Taz and a low dropkick to the head gets a near fall. Some hard chops in the corner have Taz in more trouble but he shoves Tajiri off the top and onto Rhino on the ramp. Victory gets shoved down the ramp but pops to his feet, so Taz throws the wheelchair at his face.

Tajiri nails a superkick but runs into a sitout powerbomb on the ramp. Rhino has set up a table on the ramp against the ropes as Taz dares Tajiri to kick him. It’s a trap though as Taz catches a kick coming in and Tazplexes him through the table. Taz chases Corino to the back but Taz comes back with what looks like barbed wire. Joey says go to a wide shot so we can’t really see what Taz is doing. He strangles Tajiri with whatever he brought out and puts on the Tazmission until referees come out and ring the bell. Tajiri apparently tapped out on the ramp which is just as good as in the ring I suppose.

Rating: D+. This was another mess but it worked better than most of Taz’s recent matches. The idea of him having to fight off a whole team of guys worked well enough and even though Tajiri wasn’t going to get the title, he was a solid choice for a one off challenger. The money would seem to be in Corino but we’re likely to get more of that later. Rhino didn’t get physical at all here.

Tajiri would get another shot on the second episode of ECW on TNN on September 3, 1999.

ECW World Title: Taz vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri

Taz is world champion but would be gone very soon. He would be in the WWF in January. Tajiri has Corino and Victory with him in his corner. You can barely understand the announcer. I think this is non-title. Taz pounds on him to start but walks into the handspring elbow.

Tajiri kicks him in the head and this is for the title. Ok then. Tajiri tries the Tarantula but gets countered into what we would call the Alabama Slam. Head and arms Tazplex and Taz spits in Tajiri’s face. They slug it out and Taz hooks a capture Tazplex to kill Tajiri. Taz hits the crossface shots but gets kicked in the head for two. Tajiri tries a big kick but Taz ducks and the Tazmission ends this quick.

Rating: C-. Nothing great here but the crowd LOVED Taz. That being said, he would lose the title at the PPV to Mike Awesome and would say goodbye to ECW. That’s not good because the Dudleys would be leaving really soon also. Tajiri is a guy I’ve been liking more and more lately as those kicks were SWEET.

Here’s a match that was done about a million times in ECW so I have to bring it up. From Anarchy Rulz 1999.

Little Guido vs. Super Crazy vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri

This would become a staple of ECW shows for a long time. Tajiri doesn’t have anyone in his corner here. The fans are mostly behind Crazy, who now has Mexican flag inspired attire. Feeling out process to start until Crazy hits a top rope cross body on Guido for two. Tajiri kicks both of them down and goes after Crazy’s knee to take over. Guido gets sent to the ramp, allowing Tajiri to hook a headscissors on Crazy. Super comes back with a springboard missile dropkick but Guido comes in with a springboard cross body for of his own.

Guido and Tajiri make a short lived deal to work on Crazy but Tajiri quickly turns on Guido with a dropkick to the face. More kicks to the legs send Guido to the floor and Crazy puts him in the front row. Crazy dives over the barricade to take him down but Tajiri takes both of them down with a huge Asai moonsault. Sal is in the ring and crushes the non-Italians. Guido nails a middle rope Fameasser to Tajiri and covers Crazy for two.

Tajiri grabs a German suplex for two of his own on Guido before they both head to the floor again. Guido gets dropped ribs first onto the barricade and Tajiri takes him back into the crowd. This time it’s Crazy hitting a huge top rope Asai moonsault over the barricade to take both guys down again. Sal misses a charge and flies through a table to take him out for awhile. Back in and Tajiri puts Crazy in the Tarantula, leaving Crazy wide open for a hard dropkick to the face from Guido.

Crazy pops right back up and puts Tajiri in a surfboard with a dragon sleeper added in. He switches it up to a camel clutch and Guido adds on a Sicilian crab at the same time. Somehow Tajiri doesn’t give up so the hold is broken. Guido hits a quick Tomikaze for two on Crazy but Tajiri puts Guido in the Tree of Woe. A hard baseball slide to the face followed by a top rope moonsault from Crazy is enough to eliminate Guido.

It’s down to Tajiri vs. Crazy as soon as the referee is able to roll the unconscious Guido to the floor. Crazy kicks him down and nails a springboard moonsault for two before hammering away in the corner. The fans are nice enough to count to ten in Spanish as he fires in the right hands.

Tajiri comes right back with the handspring elbow, only to have Crazy nail a quick sitout powerbomb. The fans chant Super Loco but Tajiri counters another powerbomb into a spinning DDT. Crazy is back up first though and nails a reverse tornado DDT for no cover. Instead he loads up the three moonsaults but Tajiri gets his knees up to block the second one. A hard kick to Crazy’s head sets up a brainbuster for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was your usual spotfest but well done. There’s nothing wrong with sending three good high fliers out there to fire up the crowd for awhile. It’s not a great match or anything and the first Crazy vs. Tajiri match was more entertaining, but this was a very fun match and a much better choice than a lot of the nonsense ECW puts on pay per view at times. I wouldn’t mind if Tajiri and Crazy got some higher profile matches after this. Guido is a comedy character and shouldn’t be elevated.

Another three way, this time for the TV Title on ECW on TNN, April 14, 2000.

TV Title: Little Guido vs. Tajiri vs. Super Crazy

Elimination rules. Crazy is defending but the Network has promised the title to both challengers. It’s a brawl to start with Crazy being knocked to the floor. Guido kicks Tajiri down for two but gets sent to the floor a second later. Crazy comes back in but gets tossed as well by Tajiri. Guido gets kicked in the face by Tajiri but Big Sal crushes Tajiri on the floor. They’re flying around too fast to keep up with right now.

Sal misses a splash against the barricade and Tajiri bails into the crowd. Crazy uses Sal’s back as a launching pad to dive at Tajiri before pounding away on Sal in the ring. Tajiri comes back in to kick a chair into Crazy’s ribs but Guido is back in again to kick Tajiri down as well. A suplex gets two on the champion before he and Guido head to the floor. Crazy is dropped face first onto the concrete but Tajiri sends Guido over the barricade for a superkick to the jaw.

Crazy is busted BAD as Tajiri blasts Guido in the head with a chair, busting him open as well. Tajiri brings in a table but kicks Guido to the floor instead of putting him through it. Sal interferes again to give Guido control again. Crazy continues to stagger around at ringside as the challengers are back inside. Tajiri kicks Sal through a table at ringside before putting Guido in an inverted Gory Special. Even Tajiri is busted open now but he kicks both guys in the head to keep control.

Another table is brought in and placed over Guido who is already under a chair. Crazy is laid on the table but avoids Tajiri’s top rope double stomp, sending it through the table and onto Guido for the elimination. So it’s Crazy vs. Tajiri for the title now with Tajiri blasting him in the face with a chair. A German suplex puts Crazy down for two and here’s the Network. Crazy powerbombs Tajiri down for two and slides in another table.

Tajiri comes back with a crowbar of all things and blasts Crazy in the ribs. The champion kicks him down and gets the crowbar but has to duck the green mist. Another powerbomb puts Tajiri through the table but there’s no one to count. Cue Rhyno for a Gore on Crazy and a piledriver from the apron through the table at ringside. Tajiri covers the corpse that used to be Super Crazy for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. This had to happen at some point as Crazy always felt like a placeholder until we got to the important stuff. That being said, it was nice for the 485th edition of this match to actually be worth something. The carnage here was more than they needed, especially when you had three talented guys in there. At least it was exciting though.

Tajiri would have a blood bath at Hardcore Heaven 2000.

Steve Corino vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri

Corino is completely different now, having abandoned the cowardly character and becoming a serious old school style wrestler who can brawl with anyone. Tajiri has been thrown out of the Network after refusing to hand the TV Title to Rhino, thus turning face in the process. Corino is fighting for the Network here but offers to let Tajiri off. This turns into a racist tirade and Tajiri is ready to fight.

Tajiri misses a big kick to the head and Corino nails him with an enziguri. A hurricanrana is countered into a sitout powerbomb to give Steve two but Tajiri comes back with the Tarantula. They head to the ramp where Tajiri nails him with a kick to the ribs and a brainbuster to send Corino to the floor. Corino is already busted so Tajiri bites at the cut as is the custom in ECW. Back in and Steve is put in the Tree of Woe for the sliding kick to the face. There is a pool of blood under Corino’s head.

Tajiri loads up another baseball slide with a chair over Steve’s face but Jack Victory makes the save. Corino comes back with a superkick for one but his long blond hair is now almost entirely red. Steve can’t follow up so Tajiri sets up a table but kicks the edge of it, driving the other end into Steve’s ribs. You can’t see the blond in Corino’s hair anymore. Tajiri clotheslines Corino and Victory down but Corino pops back up with a backdrop through the table for two.

Corino gets two off a fisherman’s suplex and a northern lights gets the same. Steve sets up a table in the corner but gets kicked down to the mat. Tajiri puts on the Octopus Hold and Victory gets the green mist. The distraction lets Steve escape and grab a powerslam for a near fall. Tajiri goes INSANE with some of the fastest kicks and punches I’ve ever seen, followed by a big kick to the head. Corino is laid out on the table and a big double stomp from the top drives him through for the pin.

Rating: B. This was a really solid match with both guys looking great and Corino looking like a warrior out there. It’s a good example of two talented guys being able to have their skills shine through instead of getting bogged down by all the weapons and nonsense. Corino would gain a lot of respect very soon, partially because of this performance.

Tajiri would hook up with Mikey Whipwreck as the Unholy Alliance and challenge the FBI for the Tag Team Titles at November to Remember 2000.

Tag Team Titles: FBI vs. Unholy Alliance

The Italians are defending again and there’s no Minister at ringside. Mikey and Mamaluke get things going and hit the mat for a nice technical sequence before Tony gets caught in a spinning side slam. Tajiri sneaks in for a hard kick to Tony’s head and it’s off to Guido to renew an old rivalry. We get another nice technical sequence with Tajiri cranking on the arm and rolling Guido over for two.

Off to Mikey who holds holds Guido’s leg while his throat is over the rope. Tajiri tries to jump over Mikey and onto Guido’s back but mainly just lands on his partner. Instead they both place a chair next to his head and kick the chairs together to crush Guido’s head. Back in and Mikey hits a double Whippersnapper off the middle rope but hurts his shoulder in the process. The match stops for a bit as Mikey has to be taken out on a stretcher.

The fans want Super Crazy but no one comes out to help Tajiri. He helps himself with the green mist but Guido ducks. The Italians take Tajiri down into a Sicilian crab/camel clutch combo but now Crazy comes out to even up the odds. Crazy cleans house until the match settles down with Tajiri stomping a chair onto Guido’s head. Crazy holds up the chair for a dropkick against Guido’s head and the Italian is busted open.

Guido finally escapes for a tag to Mamaluke and the Italians start working on Tajiri’s arm. He’s able to counter the Kiss of Death and nails Guido in the head with a superkick but Mamaluke makes the save. Tajiri finally nails both Italians with the handspring elbow, allowing for the hot tag to Crazy.

The sitout powerbomb gets two on Mamaluke and a running DDT get sthe same on Guido. Everything breaks down again and Sal sends Crazy into the crowd. Tajiri puts Guido in a keylock as Crazy moonsaults off a sign onto Sal. The camera cuts right as contact is made, making the whole thing look stupid. Back inside and Guido grabs a bulldog on Tajiri to break up the Tarantula for the pin to retain.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t terrible but the Italians as champions just isn’t working. There are other teams that deserve the belts more than they do and the fans aren’t interested in what they’re being given. Crazy or Whipwreck and Tajiri would have been good champions but instead we’re stuck with the same guys holding the belts. They’re good, but they’re not interesting.

It was off to the WWF soon after ECW closed with Tajiri becoming part of the Alliance. Here he is challenging for the Light Heavyweight Title on Raw, August 6, 2001.

Light Heavyweight Title: X-Pac vs. Tajiri

First of all, Pac has both titles but this is just for one because having one less title means the end of the world as we know it I guess. Second, this is for a WWF Title between two WWF guys, so there’s an Alliance referee. The fans all think X-Pac sucks. They trade kicks and Tajiri takes over with his signature stuff. Pac sends him to the floor and mostly misses his dive. We can hear a voice which I think is the director. Back in, Pac tries something off the top but jumps into Mist and a Buzzsaw Kick to give Tajiri his first title. Too short to rate but Paul says that’s his first major title in the WWF. What’s a minor title then?

Another title shot, this time on Raw from September 10, 2001.

US Title: Tajiri vs. Kanyon

Kanyon takes him into the corner to start but Tajiri gets behind him and fires off the strikes. They go to the corner and the Flatliner gets two for Kanyon. They go to the floor where nothing happens and Tajiri tries a sunset flip coming back in. In a SWEET counter, Kanyon stands up and hooks a northern lights suplex out of the sunset flip attempt for two. Kanyon picks up the belt but Torrie grabs it and swings, hitting Tajiri in the head for two. Kanyon gets a rollup with his feet on the ropes for two. Green Mist and the Buzzsaw Kick give Tajiri the title.

Rating: C-. Not a horrible match I guess and Torrie looked smoking hot as always, but giving them a total of three and a half minutes didn’t do them any favors. Both of these guys were good in the ring but their characters weren’t going to get them any further than they got here, and that’s ok.

We’ll jump ahead about a year to No Mercy 2002 for yet another title shot.

Cruiserweight Title: Tajiri vs. Jamie Noble

Noble is champion here. Tajiri was the referee in a Noble/Nidia match on Smackdown for no apparent reason so Noble kicked his teeth in afterwards. Tajiri gets a baseball slide before the bell rings as that’s a running theme lately. Asai Moonsault hits and that’s about the extent of Tajiri’s offense for awhile.

Nice electric chair by Noble gets two. Pretty much domination by the champion so far. Tazz and Cole imply these three are in a three way relationship or something but that never went anywhere. The commentary is far more sexual in nature than what you would be used to in WWE today.

Jamie gets knocked off the top rope as he tries a suplex so Tajiri gets to miss a moonsault now. He does get a tornado DDT but doesn’t cover for no apparent reason. Both guys down now. Both guys up now. Tajiri unleashes that martial arts rush which is always awesome. Handspring elbow has Jamie in big trouble. German suplex gets two.

There’s the Tarantula and Jamie is reeling. Big kick misses and the Tiger Bomb is countered. There’s the kick and Nidia kisses the referee so he can’t make the count. And there’s the Tiger Bomb for two which is surprising. Tajiri goes for a victory roll but Nidia trips him so Jamie can dive into it for the Owen Hart at Mania X pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here and at least they allowed Tajiri to get in more offense than it looked like he was going to get. It’s nothing great or anything like that but this was definitely watchable and the whole thing worked pretty well. It’s a shame no one cared about this or it might have been interesting.

Yet ANOTHER title match at Judgment Day 2003.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Team Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero/Tajiri

Ladder match and Team Angle (Haas and Benjamin) are champions here. The brawl starts in the aisle as this should be rather good. Benjamin throws Eddie into a ladder and Tajiri takes his medal off. Team Angle beats Tajiri down with Eddie having been slammed into the ladder earlier. Ah there’s Eddie. And so much for that as he gets dropped on Haas’ knee to take care of that. Apparently Team Angle not knowing where a ladder is makes them inexperienced.

Tajiri and Eddie botch the heck out of something as they drop Tajiri onto the floor instead of a ladder. That looked awful. A handspring elbow by Tajiri to the ladder takes it and the champions down. Ladder goes into Charlie’s balls and the look on his face is priceless. Another ladder comes into the ring and Haas gets sandwiched between them as Eddie hits the hilo onto the ladder onto Charlie onto the ladder.

Shelton pulls Tajiri off the ladder and Tajiri’s face hits the rung on the way down. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Shelton powerslams Eddie into the ladder and the challengers are in trouble. This is one of those matches where there are just spots happening with very little going on in between. Not bad but kind of tiring. Team Angle does that jump on the back thing but from a ladder onto the ladder with Tajiri in between. That was awesome looking.

Haas almost gets up there but Eddie pops up to send Haas flying to the floor. The ladder gets wedged between the top and middle rope and Eddie is sent flying into it. Time for the Tajiri kicks and a ladder shot. Tarantula goes onto Haas which gets a big pop. Shelton saves his partner by driving the ladder into the head of the Japanese man. The champions take over again with Eddie in trouble.

The idea here is supposed to be that Team Angle doesn’t know how to win a ladder match due to inexperience. The problem with that is simple: you climb the thing. That’s how you win. See the belts? Go get them! How hard is that? Eddie goes up but Charlie keeps slowing him down.

Shelton goes after him too but Eddie knocks him down and drops a Frog Splash on him in a cool spot. Eddie vs. Charlie on top of the ladder and Charlie takes a sunset bomb to the mat. Always loved that move. Tajiri is finally back and his Mists Shelton to let Eddie grab the belts as we have new champions.

Rating: B-. This was good but the problem is that we’ve seen all this before. The MITB match coming up would make everything else done not called TLC seem weak. This was a good match and belonged on the PPV but it feels pretty worthless all things considered now. Good match, nothing we haven’t seen before though.

In other news, Tajiri gets a title shot at Summerslam 2003.

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit vs. Tajiri vs. Rhyno

Eddie is defending and this is one fall to a finish. Eddie has ticked off all three challengers so they all want to take him out. The champion bails to the floor so everyone else can fight and we quickly get down to Rhyno vs. Benoit. Chris hooks a quick Crossface, drawing Eddie in for the save. Tajiri is back in as well but Eddie breaks up a cover. Everyone is in now and all three challengers go after Eddie at the same time.

Rhyno hits a running shoulder to Eddie’s ribs in the corner and powerslams him down for two but Benoit comes back with a German suplex. A belly to back gets two on Tajiri but Eddie makes another save. Benoit is suplexed to the floor and Eddie is left alone with Tajiri, only to have the challenger monkey flip Eddie down for two. Rhyno comes back in and sends Tajiri to the floor but Benoit wants to beat up Eddie himself, triggering a brawl between challengers.

Rhyno gets control again and superplexes Eddie down for two but Tajiri kicks him in the back of the head. Tajiri snaps off the handspring elbow for two on Chris but Rhyno sends Tajiri to the floor, only to have Eddie headscissor him out to the floor. Eddie hurricanranas Benoit out of the corner for two and it’s Tajiri in again for some hard kicks. Eddie hooks the Lasso From El Paso (Liontamer crossed with the Texas Cloverleaf) on Tajiri but Benoit stops Rhyno from making the save with the Crossface.

Tajiri makes the ropes so Eddie turns around to dropkick Benoit in the head for the save. Benoit grabs the Crossface on Guerrero but Rhyno and Tajiri make the double save. Rhyno hits a spinebuster for two on Tajiri but Benoit knocks Rhyno to the floor. Chris rolls some Germans on Tajiri but Tajiri reverses into one of his own for two on Benoit.

Tajiri catches a charging Benoit in the Tarantula and the distraction lets Eddie get the US Title to shield himself from Rhyno’s Gore. Tajiri breaks up the Frog Splash but gets caught in the Tree of Woe. Benoit Swan Dives Rhyno but Tajiri makes a last second save. Tajiri and Benoit fall to the floor and Eddie frog splashes Rhyno to retain.

Rating: B+. This was non-stop action for about eleven minutes and incredibly entertaining as a result. It’s a great example of how wrestling and action can be so much more interesting than whatever drama the McMahons have going on at the moment. Watching these four make save after save is WAY more fun than hearing about Bischoff forcing himself on Linda or Stephanie being FURIOUS with Sable over whatever affair her dad is having this month.

Raw Tag Team Titles this time. From Unforgiven 2004.

Raw Tag Titles: La Resistance vs. Tajiri/Rhyno

Conway/Grenier here. Conway vs. Tajiri starts us off and Tajiri speeds around a lot to take over. Off to Grenier who hits the floor to avoid a Gore. Tajiri comes back in and takes over with a semi-botched tornado DDT. Conway beats on Tajiri and the fans just do not care. Off to a reverse chinlock as the fans chant USA for a Japanese comeback. Rhyno comes in and beats on both French dudes a bit.

This match needs to end like five minutes ago. It’s just boring but you could say that about every tag title match in this period. We hear about Rhyno looking everywhere for a partner as he walks into a double flapjack for two. The flag goes into Conway’s balls but a Gore only gets two. And there’s a flag to the face of Rhyno for the cheap pin.

Rating: F+. This had zero point in being on PPV. It wouldn’t even be a good Raw match, mainly because it went on way too long, getting almost ten minutes. La Resistance would be the heel team of the year for awhile as no one cared at all and it went nowhere at all. The tag division sucked BAD around this point and this is a fine example of it.

One last title shot and this time it’s in Japan. From Raw on February 7, 2005.

Raw Tag Titles: William Regal/Tajiri vs. La Resistance

Gee I wonder what’s going to happen here. Conway and Grenier here. The place ERUPTS for Tajiri who is all fired up here. Regal and Eugene were champions but Eugene is injured so Regal picked Tajiri as his new partner. Massive Tajiri chant starts up so Regal starts off with Conway. Regal Stretch goes on but it’s off to Tajiri who adds the low dropkick as the offense is on.

Regal plays Ricky Morton for a bit here despite getting some shots in to try to break the momentum. The fans chant something but it’s in Japanese. Grenier punches Tajiri so when Regal takes him down there’s no one to tag. STF is broken up quickly and there’s the hot tag to Tajiri who cleans house. Let the kicks begin! Enziguri hits Grenier for two as everything breaks down. Double handspring elbow takes out the French dudes and it’s Tarantula time. Regal takes Conway down and there’s the Green Mist and a Buzzsaw kick gives us new champions.

Rating: C+. The match totally doesn’t matter and is rated too high, but this is about giving the fans something to erupt for and that’s exactly what they did here. Tajiri and Regal would hold the belts about three months so this wasn’t just a fluke title reign. No problem at all with this and while it’s not great or anything, it was perfectly done as it made Tajiri look like a star.

That’s about it for Tajiri in America as he went back to Japan to wrestle for Hustle and NJPW. He even started his own company called Smash which for some reason had ties to Finland. We’ll wrap it up with one more match from Pro Wrestling Noah on July 22, 2012.

Tajiri vs. Maybach Taniguchi

This appears to be a hardcore or death match as Tajiri comes in holding a barbed wire baseball bat. They’re quickly on the floor with Tajiri being very aggressive and sending Taniguchi into the barricade. He throws a short ladder into the ring and whips the masked Mayback into the ladder in the corner. Tajiri throws the ladder over the ropes to try and hit Taniguchi again but only nails the concrete.

Now we get the opening bell and Taniguchi chokes away back inside. More choking ensues in the corner as this is nowhere near as violent as it seemed it would be. A chokeslam plants Tajiri but he escapes a powerbomb, only to be shoved into the referee. Mayback grabs the ball bat but Tajiri takes it away and drives it into the masked man’s ribs. He rips Taniguchi’s mask open, but it allows Taniguchi to blow red mist into Tajiri’s face. The referee gets up just in time to see Taniguchi blast Tajiri with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: C-. This was an odd match as it came off looking like a blood feud but turned into a slow paced match for most of the middle. The ending picked things up a bit but it still wasn’t the most interesting match in the world. Tajiri going insane could be something interesting to see if he had time though.

Tajiri is a guy who is known for doing one thing but is capable of doing a lot more on top of that. Those kicks are insane though and sound a lot worse than they actually are. Still though, he’s entertaining to watch and still looks good even much later in his career. It’s a shame he couldn’t talk or he could have been a bigger deal.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Wrestlemania XV
Date: March 28, 1999
Location: First Union Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 20,276
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This is a somewhat forgotten show and it’s pretty easy to see why: there isn’t much on here worth seeing. We’re full into Russo era now which means things are going to go REALLY fast but they’ll be changing so rapidly that there’s almost no lasting impact. The main event here is Austin facing Rock to get back the WWF Title that was unfairly stolen from him in the fall. That’s also pretty much the only match anyone remembers from the show. Let’s get to it.

Boyz II Men sing America the Beautiful. To say this is better than last year’s metal version of it is the understatement of the year.

The opening video is about stars of today becoming legends and how tonight is their night. The show is called the Showcase of the Immortals, which it is still called to this day.

Hardcore Title: Billy Gunn vs. Al Snow vs. Hardcore Holly

So for months leading up to this show, Billy Gunn had been chasing the IC Title and Road Dogg had been chasing the Hardcore Title. Before either of them got the big win, Russo thought it was a good idea to switch those things up and give them the opposite title than they were looking for. You know, because THAT MAKES SENSE. Gunn is defending if that wasn’t clear.

Billy tries to do his intro but Snow jumps him from behind. Holly jumps both of them and clotheslines Gunn inside out. Snow and Holly, the only people who actually have business in this match, go to the floor to annoy the Spanish broadcasters. Gunn follows them and is whipped knees first into the steps. That looked painful. Snow and Bob fight up the aisle with Holly hitting a suplex onto the concrete. Billy comes back and sends Snow into the steps but Al breaks up a piledriver attempt on Bob.

Snow finds a hockey stick from under the ring for no apparent reason and starts beating up both guys. The fans cheer for the Flyers as Billy uses a Gatorade bucket for good measure. Billy gets the stick and breaks it over his challengers’ backs before going back inside. Snow comes in with a broom to pound away on both guys and take over. Gunn brings in a chair but gets beaten down by a piece of the broom. Al uses the chair to load up some Poetry in Motion in the corner but he can only hit Gunn.

Holly sends Billy to the floor but gets dropped onto the barricade for his efforts. Snow hits them both with Head but pulls out a table instead of going for a cover. The table is set up in the corner but Holly clotheslines his way to safety. Billy comes back with a shot to Bob’s head and throws Snow through the table. The Fameasser onto a chair knocks Snow sane but Holly hits Gunn in the back with a chair and steals the pin on Snow for the title.

Rating: C-. This was fine but again, what sounds better: Road Dogg against two other hardcore experts or Billy Gunn who has had about two weeks in the division? The match here was nothing of note though as it was just the three of them hitting each other with the same spots we’ve seen a hundred times before. Nothing to see here for the mots part but it was a good enough opener.

Test and D’Lo Brown were the final two people in a battle royal on the Heat before the PPV, meaning they get a tag title shot. Seriously, that’s how weak the division is at this point.

Tag Titles: D’Lo Brown/Test vs. Owen Hart/Jeff Jarrett

The challengers fight with each other before the match starts. Owen and Jeff have Debra with them who is in a jacket and bikini. From the neck down she’s not bad at all. It’s a brawl to start and Test hits a fast big boot to take over. Brown and Jarrett get things going officially and D’Lo hits some fast clotheslines. Jeff charges into an elbow and it’s off to Test. He’s part of the Corporate Team while Brown has no connection to them whatsoever. A powerbomb gets two on Owen but he comes back with an enziguri, only to have Brown break up the Sharpshooter attempt.

Brown comes in legally and hits the shaky head legdrop for no cover but Jeff knees Brown in the back to give Owen an opening. A spinwheel kick puts D’Lo down for no cover as it’s back to Jarrett. Brown comes back with a double clothesline to both champions and hits something resembling a Sky High on Jeff. There’s no cover though as the managers (Ivory for the challengers) are fighting. In the distraction, Owen hits a missile dropkick on Brown to give Jeff the retaining pin.

Rating: C-. The match was ok enough but when the challengers are formed into a team 30 minutes before the match, it’s a little difficult to get behind a match like this. The tag division was BEGGING for something to save them here but it wouldn’t be until the fall when the Dudleys finally showed up and made the division worth something for a few more years.

Test and D’Lo fight on the floor which has no one caring at all.

We recap Butterbean vs. Bart Gun in a Brawl For All fight. Oh where do I even begin? So Bart Gunn shocked all of eight people (as in the amount of people that cared) by winning the shoot fight Brawl For All tournament back in the summer. This led to a REAL fight against a REAL world boxing champion here. You know, EIGHT MONTHS after he won the tournament.

Bart Gunn vs. Butterbean

The guest referee is Vinnie Pazienza, former world Middleweight Champion. The judges are boxing trainer Kevin Rooney, Chuck Wepner and Gorilla Monsoon, who would be dead soon after this. He looks AWFUL here as he’s lost about 200lbs due to illness. This would be his final public appearance. Bart is introduced as being from western Kentucky. That’s probably accurate as there aren’t many large towns over there so pinning it down to one single town is hardly an option.

I’d explain the rules and scoring here, but Butterbean DESTROYS Bart and knocks him down twice in 35 seconds. The second is as brutal of a punch as you’ll ever see. For the life of me I have NO IDEA what they were thinking here. I could watch Bart Gunn get knocked out like that for hours.

The San Diego Chicken is here in Philadelphia here for no apparent reason so Pazienza beats him up.

We recap Big Show beating up Mankind on Heat. They’re fighting tonight to get to referee the main event. Austin could be seen watching this in the back for some reason.

Mankind says that he’s done everything asked of him to be in the main event of Wrestlemania, but they keep throwing more stuff at him. If he has to beat Big Show, that’s what he has to do.

Big Show vs. Mankind

The winner gets to referee the title match tonight. Big Show already cost Mankind the world title on Raw a few weeks ago and Mankind is banged up coming into this. Mankind pounds away to start but is easily sent out to the floor by the power of the giant. Mankind is all cool with a brawl though and he sends Big Show head first into the steps. A DDT is broken up by Show though and the guy in a mask tastes the steps as well.

Back in and Show chops him down before hitting a Russian legsweep for no cover. Mankind gets in a shot and loads up the Claw, only to be sent flying for a second. The Claw goes on but Show headbutts him down with ease. Back to the Claw and a low blow is enough to keep the hold on for a bit.

Despite being in a former world champion’s hold for about a minute straight, Show gets Mankind on his back and crashes down onto Foley to break the hold. Foley’s ribs are messed up bad now and Show stomps away even more. They head to the floor and Show hits him in the ribs with a chair….and that’s not a DQ. Show throws two chairs into the ring and sets them up. He chokeslams Mankind through both chairs and THAT is enough for the DQ.

Rating: D. Yeah this sucked. This would fall into the category of matches that were overbooked to overbook another match. If that doesn’t sum up the Russo Era in a nutshell, I’m not sure what does. The match sucked on top of all that, as it was a very slow power brawl. Foley would take awhile to get back into form but at this point he was just kind of going through the motions.

Post match Vince comes out to yell at Big Show but has to talk his way out of a chokeslam. That’s the least of his problems though as Big Show knocks Vince out cold with a right hand. The Stooges carry Vince to the back as Foley is taken out on a stretcher.

In the back, Vince wants the cops called.

Intercontinental Title: Road Dogg vs. Goldust vs. Ken Shamrock vs. Val Venis

Dogg is defending and this under elimination rules. Goldust has Ken’s sister Ryan as well as Blue Meanie with him. A rana sends Goldust to the floor in the opening melee until we get down to Shamrock vs. Dogg as there are tags in this. Dogg gets in some right hands and a dropkick to Shamrock before bringing in Goldie to pound away on Ken. Venis replaces Shamrock and escapes the Curtain Call.

A spinebuster gets two on Goldust but he comes back with a clothesline to take Val down for two. Goldust loads up a superplex but slips off the rope, allowing Val to bulldog him down for two. A fisherman’s suplex gets two for Val but after they collide in the corner, Val’s face meets Goldie’s crotch. Shamrock comes in to DDT Goldust but Dogg DDTs Venis at the same time, putting both guys out.

Goldust covers Venis for two and Shamrock is furious at the kickout. Did I mention Val slept with Ken’s sister of whom Ken is VERY protective? Dogg comes in illegally and pounds away on Val before doing the same on Dogg. The shaky kneedrop hits Shamrock for good measure but Val suplexes the champion down for two. Roadie comes back with the simulated anal rape pumphandle slam to Val before Shamrock puts Venis in the ankle lock.

Val somehow makes the rope and backdrops Shamrock to the floor. Venis goes out after him and it’s a lame double countout to get us down to two. Shamrock comes back in anyway and beats up everyone left in the match while screaming and dropping a lot of F Bombs. Ryan trips Goldust for no apparent reason whatsoever, allowing Roadie to roll him up for the pin to retain.

Rating: C. Decent match until the ending fell flat. Here’s Russo’s booking in a nutshell: take Billy Gunn, as in the guy that started the whole mess with Ryan out and replace him with Road Dogg who only has the title in this whole mess. That leaves you with Ken as the jealous brother along with Val as guy who loved her and left her, and Goldust as the freak perverting Ryan’s mind.

Then you give us Goldust and Dogg to finish things, despite them having no history of problems at all, unlike Billy and any of the three, who had been fighting for months. See the REALLY big issue here? Goldust would win the title the next night, making this even stupider. You know, because you want to change the title on Raw, not AT WRESTLEMANIA or someplace worthless like that.

Big Show is arrested, another Russo trope.

We recap HHH vs. Kane. Chyna had turned on DX and joined the Corporation I believe late last year. A few weeks before this she was holding HHH for a fireball shot from Kane, only to take it herself. HHH standing up for the honor of his friend who isn’t his friend anymore because she turned on him. As an act of friendship, HHH painted himself gold and wore a flowery robe while imitating a crossdresser and launched a flamethrower at Kane, burning him again.

HHH vs. Kane

Kane is in the Corporation against his will at this point. As Kane makes his entrance, here’s the San Diego Chicken from earlier to jump Kane. He’s quickly unbeaked and it’s Pete Rose again to continue the running joke from last year. At least he used to play in Philly so there’s a connection to the town. After that ends, HHH sneaks through the crowd and hits Kane low to start, which actually hurts him now as opposed to previous attempts at it.

HHH pounds away to start but Kane keeps shoving him away. Kane charges into a backdrop to the floor though and they fight on the floor for a bit. Kane accidentally clotheslines the post and is sent HARD into the steps. A baseball slide puts Kane into the barricade before they head back inside. Kane boots HHH down and throws him right back to the floor. HHH climbs the steps but gets grabbed by the throat and crotched on the barricade. The Mean Street Posse is here for no apparent reason.

Kane rams the future Game’s back into the post a few times before we head back in again. HHH gets slugged down in the corner and an uppercut keeps him down even longer. There’s a big leg for two and HHH is in trouble. He gets shoved out to the floor again and Kane DIVES over the top to take him out again, getting almost no reaction from the crowd at all. Back in and HHH breaks up the top rope clothesline with a beal off the top.

HHH slugs away and hits a Pedigree to stagger Kane. The jumping knee to the face puts Kane down and here’s Chyna. The tombstone and Pedigree are both escaped and Chyna slides in the steps. Both guys are down from something we didn’t see due to the camera being on Chyna but it’s Kane up first. He picks up the steps but Trips kicks them back into his face. Yes, he did something not involving his knees.

HHH hits a DDT onto the steps and clotheslines Kane to the floor. How has there not been a DQ yet? A Pedigree onto the steps is easily countered and we head inside where Kane hits the chokeslam. Instead of covering though, Kane lets Chyna come in with a chair. She hits Kane with it though, turning again and drawing a DQ in the process.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but HHH wasn’t quite ready to hang in a feud like this. He was on the rise, but it would take the street fight at the Rumble to make HHH into a guy that could hang in a fight like this and make it look believable. Chyna turning was a feel good moment but it would wind up being rather stupid in the end. The match wasn’t bad, but much like everything else tonight it’s forgettable.

HHH saves Chyna with some chair shots and a Pedigree on the chair.

Vince says he’ll referee the title match tonight. Again notice that all these angles are being used on the PPV that we already bought rather than to get people to buy the PPV that was already purchased.

Women’s Title: Sable vs. Tori

This is just after Sable turned heel. She’s defending against a psycho fan named Tori here who would wind up sleeping with X-Pac and Kane. Sable won’t let her get in so she dances a bit. Tori, wearing a Catwoman/Giant Gonzalez body suit, pulls the champion to the floor and sends her into the apron a few times, only to get kicked in the ribs by Sable. You can actually see people coming in and going out with food in hand during this match.

Sable dives off the apron to take Tori out before we head back inside. Tori comes back with some shots to the face and a bad looking sunset flip. They BADLY screw up a backslide which gets two on Sable before a bad looking cross body takes out the referee. Cue Nicole Bass who makes Chyna look like a 12 year old girl to slam Tori down. She tells Sable to pin her and the title is retained off a Sable Bomb.

Rating: F. Do I need to explain this one? I didn’t think so. Tori makes Aksana look like Trish and Lita combined if that tells you anything. They sloppiness in this match was cringe worthy and Sable continues to not be able to do anything of note in the ring other than shake her hips and take her clothes off. Nothing to see here at all.

We recap Shane vs. X-Pac. Basically Shane has no idea what to do in the ring but thanks to the Corporation he took the European Title in a tag match. This led to some humorous skits about how tough the streets of Greenwich, Connecticut were and how Shane is the kind of the streets. Shane challenged Pac to a Greenwich street fight on Raw, allowing the Mean Street Posse to help beat up X-Pac. Tonight is about revenge.

X-Pac says he’ll win because Chyna has come home.

European Title: Shane McMahon vs. X-Pac

Test is with the champion Shane here and the Stooges jump Pac in the aisle for good measure. Pac fights them off with ease and we’re ready to go. Shane imitates a bad car by stalling a lot and the chase is on. Back inside and Shane gets a nice leapfrog but gets kicked in the face to take him down. Pac loads up the Bronco Buster but Test makes the save before the Buster can hit. Shane heads up the ramp but can’t get away as the challenger brings him back to ringside. Test throws X-Pac into the post and Shane gets a breather in the ring.

McMahon pounds away on X-Pac in the corner and slams him down to set up a Corporate Elbow. Pac rolls away though, only to get caught by a low blow. Shane gets Test’s belt and whips Pac’s back as Cole talks about Shane getting disqualified. X-Pac sends him to the floor and there’s the big dive to take the champion out. The Posse tries to interfere but gets beaten down for their efforts. An elbow puts X-Pac down back in the ring and a middle rope variety keeps him down. Shane goes up top but takes too long, allowing the Greenwich grapefruits to get crotched.

There’s a superplex but Test breaks up the pin. X-Pac takes Test out and whips Shane with the belt for some revenge. Now the Bronco Buster hits but Test knocks Pac out with the title belt. That gets two for Shane but his own Bronco Buster misses. Test comes in for the 58^th time but gets hit with a Bronco Buster of his own. Cue HHH and Chyna…..who turn on X-Pac, joining the Corporation, THIRTY MINUTES AFTER THEY REUNITED IN DX. The Pedigree on X-Pac lets Shane keep the title.

Rating: D. In less than nine minutes, we had six people interfere, two different belts being used, a low blow, about five interferences by Test, and two people turning on X-Pac. This is all for a midcard title match with a guy that can’t wrestle getting to keep the title from the fan favorite. Ladies and gentlemen, VINCE FREAKING RUSSO!!! The match sucked for the most part but Pac did what he could.

The Outlaws come out for a save but get beaten down for good measure, because you fans aren’t allowed to cheer. Now cue KANE to chase off the Corporation, basically turning face in the process. There’s such a thing as WAY overthinking things and this is a good example of it.

We recap Undertaker vs. Big Boss Man. Basically Undertaker has gone cuckoo and is trying to take over the company while impersonating Satan. This led to a cross being burned on Vince’s lawn and Stephanie’s teddy bear being burned. Taker beat up Vince but Boss Man made the save. This leads to Hell in a Cell tonight, because that recap clearly is enough for a Cell match right?

Undertaker vs. Big Boss Man

Inside the Cell. In 1999. Just go with it. Boss Man DOESN’T EVEN GET AN ENTRANCE. WOW they’re not even trying to hide that this is going to be one sided are they? Boss Man pounds away in the corner and Taker does the same for good measure. A clothesline puts Boss Man down for two as the uninspired stuff continues. Boss Man gets the same for two but a boot to the chest is blocked by Undertaker. They head to the floor with Boss Man being slammed into the Cell. Cole: “This is such a dangerous match. YOU CAN GET A FINGER CAUGHT IN THERE!” Just go with it.

Anyway Boss Man comes back with more punches to the face and handcuffs him to the cage. On the floor, as in where you can’t get a win. Boss Man pounds away with the stick as the fans are REALLY not impressed. Undertaker falls down and the cuff is broken off the wall. Well that was rather pointless.

Taker is almost kind of maybe bleeding as he pulls out a chair. This is really boring so far. Boss Man goes face first into the wall as the fans are booing now. Taker hits the jumping clothesline but Old School is broken up, sending the Dead Man out to the floor again. Back in and the Tombstone is countered, only for the second attempt to hit a few seconds later.

Rating: F. No. Where’s the real Cell match? You don’t go from Shawn vs. Taker to “He may he broken in half” to this. That doesn’t work and there’s no reason to assume it does work. This was a terribly boring match with the tiniest trickle of blood you can have while still officially having blood. Horrible match that would have been bad as a first hour match on Raw, let alone the next to last match on WRESTLEMANIA.

Post match the Brood lowers from the ceiling and breaks into the top of the Cell, lowering a noose into the ring. Boss Man is hung from the top of the cage in an unnecessary visual.

We recap Austin vs. the Corporation. Austin drove McMahon crazy for most of 1998 before Vince FINALLY got the title off of him in the fall. Rock won the vacant title by turning Corporate and becoming the Corporate Champion. Austin was screwed out of the Royal Rumble, but Shawn Michaels changed sides and gave Austin the title shot at Wrestlemania anyway.

Jim Ross comes out to call the main event. He’s returning from a bout with Bell’s palsy.

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. The Rock

Vince is guest referee due to the issues earlier tonight. Oh wait here’s Shawn Michaels, the Commissioner, to say that Vince isn’t referee and that it’s going to be a normal referee. The Corporation is barred from ringside as well. Rock is defending if that wasn’t really clear. The place of course goes INSANE for Austin, who for some reason is in an Austin t-shirt instead of the trademark vest. It’s a brawl to start as you would expect with Austin being knocked out to the floor and sent into the announce table. Apparently Vince does have the power to make this No DQ.

Back in for more punching by Rock but he gets backdropped up and over to the floor a second later. They brawl into the crowd where we can barely see them but it’s Philly so it has to be expected. Austin blasts the Rock in the back and they head back to ringside. Scratch that as they’re already going back into the crowd on the other side of the arena. Back to ringside again and Austin is choked with a cable for a bit.

Now they fight up the aisle with Austin hitting a fast clothesline. Austin loads up a piledriver on the concrete, only to be backdropped onto a light instead. Rock is thrown into some kind of equipment and they clothesline each other. Now it’s Rock being choked by a cable and then being thrown into the Wrestlemania XV sign, which wobbles in a scary sight. Rock suplexes Austin in the aisle and spits some water in his face at the announce table. Austin drops him face first onto the barricade before laying him on the announce table for an elbow drop which doesn’t break anything.

The second attempt at an elbow puts Rock through the table and we head back into the ring after about eight minutes of brawling. Wait Rock bails to the floor and wraps Austin’s bad knee around the post. They’re still not ready to stay in the ring as Austin sends Rock into the steps and stomps away a bit more. NOW we head back inside but Austin walks into the Rock Bottom for two. Rock brings in a chair but Austin takes it away and cracks the referee with it by mistake.

A Stunner is blocked and Rock elbows Austin down before laying him out with the chair. Another referee comes in for a two count off a chair shot to the head. Off to a chinlock for an understandably needed breather. Austin fights back up, only to be clotheslined right back down. Back to el chinlock but they fight up again, only for the referee to go down AGAIN. The Stunner hits but Earl Hebner runs down for a very close two. Here’s Vince again as Austin gets a fresh chair.

The distraction lets Rock hit Austin low to block a chair shot and Vince gets in as well. Vince drops Hebner and it’s a double team beatdown on Austin. Cue a hobbled Mick Foley to beat up Vince and count a fast two on Rock. The Thesz Press takes Rock down but Rock comes back with a clothesline and another Rock Bottom. Austin avoids the Elbow, fights out of another Rock Bottom, and Stuns his way to a third world title.

Rating: B-. This one really depends on your taste. They didn’t try to have a regular match here at all and maybe that was the right idea. It’s definitely the weakest of the Austin vs. Rock at Wrestlemania trilogy but Rock wasn’t ready to hang with Austin in a match like this year. The rematch at Backlash would be AWESOME to make up for this, but even this wasn’t bad. It’s very typical of the time, which doesn’t make it dull. This was definitely entertaining, but it’s certainly not for everyone.

Austin celebrates for a LONG time post match and stuns Vince for good measure to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Austin vs. Rock is definitely worth seeing, but the fact that I couldn’t think of a single match other than that one when I was getting ready to do this one says a lot. The show is completely forgettable because of how fast everything was moving out there. That doesn’t make it entertaining, but rather bad most of the time and one of the worst Wrestlemanias ever.

Ratings Comparison

Hardcore Holly vs. Billy Gunn vs. Al Snow

Original: D+

Redo: C-

D’Lo Brown/Test vs. Owen Hart/Jeff Jarrett

Original: F+

Redo: C-

Butterbean vs. Bart Gunn

Original: F

Redo: N/A

Mankind vs. Big Show

Original: C-

Redo: D

Ken Shamrock vs. Road Dogg vs. Goldust vs. Val Venis

Original: D

Redo: C

Kane vs. HHH

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Tori vs. Sable

Original: F

Redo: F

X-Pac vs. Shane McMahon

Original: C+

Redo: D

Undertaker vs. Big Boss Man

Original: H (For holy goodness why was this a Cell match?)

Redo: F

Steve Austin vs. The Rock

Original: B+

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: D

Redo: D

Individual ratings aside, it still sucks.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/22/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-15-this-is-the-best-they-can-do/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 8, 2002
Location: America West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re two weeks past the Draft now and the main story is that Austin has signed with Raw, finally giving them an exclusive top star. Other than that there isn’t much going on here as we roll towards Backlash. Whatever energy the Draft gave the show is already gone, meaning we’re entering into the dark days for the show. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap from Smackdown with Vince saying Undertaker isn’t the #1 contender because Flair didn’t have the right to make that selection. Vince knows what the fans wants and makes HHH vs. Hulk Hogan for the title at the PPV. HHH said that when Hogan was in the ring with him, he was an obstacle, not immortal.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Undertaker on his bike to open the show. He wants to know who made the decision to take the title shot away from him because it was his turn to take the title. Now it’s HHH vs. Hogan and that’s a bunch of bull. Raw starts right here and now because he’s going to stand here until someone comes out and explains this to him. Cue Raw owner Ric Flair who says maybe he was too ambitious last week. He wanted to see HHH vs. Undertaker at Backlash, but he tried to get there too fast.

However, Undertaker needs to understand that he’s not in charge around here. Flair implies Undertaker gets the next title shot but Undertaker calls him a liar. This must be about Undertaker beating him at Wrestlemania, which is understandable after how badly Flair got destroyed there. Undertaker wants the shot after Backlash and threatens another beating if he doesn’t get it. This brings out Austin to stand up for his boss, because that’s in character for him.

Austin does the WHAT schtick while asking why Undertaker is getting the title shot after Backlash. Is it because of the clothes he wears or because Flair is scared? Maybe Undertaker is dead, meaning he has no pulse, doesn’t breathe, bought the farm or kicked the bucket. Or is it because he rides a stupid bike?

Austin wants Flair to pick between himself and Undertaker for the shot after Backlash, but instead Flair rants about both guys treating him badly. He makes two #1 contenders matches with Austin vs. Hall and Undertaker vs. RVD for tonight. No word on what happens if both win but I think you can figure it out. Undertaker threatens Flair and calls Austin cueball before starting a fight. Austin clotheslines Undertaker to the floor but can’t Stun Flair.

Hardcore Title: Bubba Ray Dudley vs. Booker T.

Bubba is defending but Booker has something to say first. He thinks the people want to see a Spinarooni and that’s exactly what Booker gives them. Bubba comes back with dancing of his own that makes it look like he’s having a seizure. Booker jumps him and we’re ready to go, only to see Bubba dump him to the floor. The champ sends him into the steps and then back into the ring as it’s time to bust out the weapons. A belly to back suplex gets two on Booker as the fans want tables.

Booker comes back with a knee to the ample gut and an ax kick before blasting him in the head with a stop sign. Bubba shrugs it off and hits a Samoan drop followed by a series of elbows. He gets his own table but Booker knocks him down and sets it up himself. Cue Goldust to run in and DDT Booker on a trumpet before Bubba powerbombs Goldust through the table for a pin to retain, because that’s how the Hardcore Title works.

Raitng: D. Why bother pinning him if the title is defended 24/7? The match was nothing of note and it was an even worse sign that they were trying to push Bubba as a singles guy. Yeah he would eventually work as Bully Ray but this was just one half of the Dudley Boys, which isn’t interesting at all.

Bubba dances more on the stage.

Trish says her head hurts and promises to get back at Molly Holly for attacking her last week. William Regal comes up and says no one cares about Trish because she’s only there to show off her figure. He talks about Spike Dudley but Trish makes fun of Regal for getting shown up by Spike last week. Regal calls Spike a toerag, an accident to his mother and an abortion on society.

Kane admires the Divas Swimsuit Magazine and says the rest of him isn’t burnt. He’s no longer ashamed of being a freak because the Kaneanites love him. Tonight he’ll start going through the NWO, because just like the lion roars and the chicken clucks, it’s a simple fact of life that X-Pac sucks. Nice rhyme.

X-Pac asks the Outsiders to wait in the back.

Kane vs. X-Pac

Falls count anywhere. Brawl to start with X-Pac actually taking over with some kicks in the corner. Kane easily shoves him back down and stops a charging Pac with a big boot before heading outside. They fight into the crowd and up by the set before going into the back. Hall and Nash jump Kane with weapons and X-Pac hits the ground with a chair (missing Kane’s head by about eight inches) for the pin. This wasn’t even two minutes long.

X-Pac takes the mask off with Kane’s face on the ground until Bradshaw makes the save. Yeah at this point, the top faces on Raw were Austin, Kane, Bubba Ray Dudley and Bradshaw. Starting to get how long these shows felt live?

Kane is taken out on a stretcher post break and X-Pac is wearing the mask when Flair comes in. Nash is suspended without pay so he threatens to sue Flair.

European Title: Spike Dudley vs. William Regal

Regal is defending, Spike steals the brass knuckles and knocks him out and we have a new champion in 5 seconds.

Tommy Dreamer, Jackie, Big Show, Bubba Dudley and Coach celebrate the title win by pouring Slurpees on Spike.

Rob Van Dam vs. Undertaker

First #1 contenders match, RVD’s Intercontinental Title isn’t on the line and I think only Undertaker can become #1 contender. Undertaker pounds Rob down in the corner to start and chokes him on the ropes. Some knees to the ribs have Rob in more trouble and he walks into a side slam for two. The fans are entirely behind Rob but Undertaker kicks him to the apron for an elbow to the jaw.

Van Dam avoids the legdrop and kicks Undertaker in the face, setting up an Asai Moonsault for Rob’s first advantage. Back in and a kick to the face sets up Rolling Thunder but Undertaker crotches Rob to break up the Five Star. Undertaker busts out a nice top rope superplex for two and heads outside for a chair.

That’s fine with Rob though as he shoves the referee away and hits a quick Van Daminator but has to dive on an interfering Eddie Guerrero. Back in and the chokeslam puts RVD down for a delayed two count. The Last Ride is escapes and Rob kicks him in the face to set up the Five Star, but Rob bounces off too far and Eddie blasts him in the back of the head with the IC Title. Undertaker covers for two before ending Rob with the Last Ride.

Rating: C. Better match than I was expecting, even with the unnecessary overbooking. I’m glad they didn’t have Rob get pinned clean though as it keeps the title looking stronger. Undertaker wasn’t much to see around this time but this was one of his better performances. Not a bad match at all with Rob making up for the lethargic Deadman.

Trish Stratus vs. Molly Holly

Jazz is on commentary. Before the match, Molly, now looking even better with light brown hair says she’s a great wrestler and doesn’t like being off the show while there’s a paddle on a pole match going on. Terri thinks Molly is jealous but Molly says she’s beautiful and wholesome. Trish jumps her in the aisle to start as Jazz has nothing to say. Molly escapes a monkey flip but gets dropkicked down and bails to the floor.

Back in and Molly chokes a bit before hitting a nice handspring elbow. More choking ensues and Molly gets two off something the camera misses. Molly gets crotched on top and the Stratusphere brings her down. Trish goes after Jazz and gets hit with the belt for her efforts, allowing Molly to hook a freaky leg lock into a pin back inside.

Rating: D+. And most of that is for how tight Trish’s top was and how great Molly looked. The match was nothing more than angle advancement which is a great sign. Imagine that: an ANGLE in the Divas division with three different women who can all work a good match. It wasn’t anything of note but it’s light years ahead of what we get today.

Paul Heyman insults Phoenix and tells Brock that he can’t beat up a member of the audience. Heyman reveals that he’s Brock’s agent.

Here are Brock and Heyman to some very generic rock music. Heyman says he can do whatever he wants as long as he’s standing next to this monster. He brags about managing Steve Austin and Undertaker to make them what they are today. Heyman also invented ECW which the WWF stole but that’s beside the point. Paul lists off about ten names for Brock, ranging from impervice to incredible to the Next Big Thing.

We look at a highlight reel of Brock’s destruction, including that awesome F5 to Rikishi. Cue the Hardys to double team Brock but he LAUNCHES both of them to the floor. They both grab chairs and give Lesnar HARD shots to the head that would get them fired today. Brock doesn’t even go down and is all BRING IT ON but Heyman calls him off.

Big Show vs. Mr. Perfect

This is about what you would expect: Perfect gets in some shots, Big Show throws him around, Perfect hits him low and actually gets the PerfectPlex for a one count and the chokeslam ends it.

Austin goes into Flair’s office but finds no one. He has a seat and puts his feet up to wait.

JR recaps the big angle of the show and introduces clips from earlier. JR: “It was time for Ric Flair to make a decision.” Austin: “It’s time for Ric Flair to make a decision.” We also see some of Undertaker beating RVD earlier tonight.

Flair comes in and explains the deal to Austin: if Austin wins, he faces Undertaker at Backlash for the #1 contender spot.

Scott Hall vs. Steve Austin

X-Pac is with Hall here but Austin goes off on Scott to start anyway. He chokes away with the vest and gets two off a slam. They head to the floor with Austin chopping and eye poking. Back in and Scott throws Austin to the floor so X-Pac can get in a few shots, only to have Austin beat the tar out of him. Austin gets back inside and works over Hall in the corner until a mule kick below the belt changes control again.

Steve is sent to the floor for another beating from X-Pac before coming back in to get clotheslined for two. There’s a sleeper from Hall but Austin suplexes out of it. Austin comes back with right hands (shocking) but a double clothesline puts both guys down. An X-Pac cheap shot has almost no effect and there’s the Thesz Press as Austin cranks it up. X-Pac gets a shot to the jaw but the referee goes down.

Both NWO members get spinebusters but here’s the Undertaker to beat up Austin. Bradshaw runs in to fight Undertaker as Hall gets two off Undertaker’s chokeslam. The referee goes down again (bad night for him) as Hall hits the fallaway slam. X-Pac comes in for a double team but Flair comes in to stare down X-Pac. A Stunner takes care of Pac and an even bigger one is good for the pin on Scott.

Rating: D+. This was a kick and punch match until the overdone ending. Austin vs. the NWO isn’t an interesting story, especially with no Nash or Hogan in sight. Hall and X-Pac are just guys in matching shirts at this point and there’s nothing for them to do anymore. Unfortunately they would be around for awhile.

Flair takes a Stunner as well because Austin fights authority you see.

Overall Rating: D. The show went by pretty quickly but there’s nothing interesting to see here. The matches were nothing special and the big story could have been solved by making Austin vs. Undertaker for the title shot in the first place. Austin Stunning Flair made me roll my eyes as they’re trying to force lightning back into a bottle and it just doesn’t work that way. Uninspiring but not completely horrid show this week.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: March 29, 1999
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 15,213
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Wrestlemania and the big story is Rock losing the WWF Title to Steve Austin. This will only serve to continue the war between Vince and Austin but at the same time we’re continuing Vince vs. Undertaker. We’re starting on the road to Backlash now which would be the final In Your House PPV. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Austin’s road back to the title, including the beer truck attack from last week.

Opening sequence.

Here’s the new champion to open the show to an eruption, wearing black jeans for the only time I ever remember. Austin says he did exactly what he said he would do: head to Philadelphia, go up route 3:16 and burn the Smackdown Hotel to the ground. Now that we’ve got the sentimental crap out of the way, Austin thinks the WWF Title belt isn’t worth all the trouble and aggravation. He wants Vince out here right now so he can relinquish the belt.

Vince cautiously comes to the ring and after taking forever to come down the aisle, Austin hands him the belt like it’s no big deal. Vince goes to leave but Austin says it’s not that easy. Austin has some footage for Vince, which shows McMahon running away with the WWF Title at Breakdown and then taking the Smoking Skull belt with him as a trophy. Vince can have the belt but Austin is the WWF Champion and there’s nothing that can be done about that.

He wants Vince to bring the Smoking Skull belt back because that’s the one he wants. If Vince doesn’t have it back here in two hours, he’ll be getting the beating of his life. McMahon says no because that belt reminds him that he owns a piece of Stone Cold. Austin looks ready for a Stunner but Vince says if Austin attacks him without being provoked, Vince can fire him on the spot. Austin has another clip from last night, showing Vince stomping Austin down in the corner. That sounds like provocation to Austin, so the two hours are ticking away. Vince hits Austin in the back with the belt and runs away.

A lot of people arrive at the show.

Vince sends Stephanie to get the belt.

Sable/Jacqueline vs. Tori/Ivory

Sable is looking GREAT in a half shirt and some tiny shorts. This is a result of Jackie burning Ivory’s face with a cigar last night on Heat. Ivory jumps Jackie to start and there’s a giant swing for good measure. Off to Tori as Ivory chases Terri up the ramp for lighting another cigar. Sable is still holding the belt on the apron which she uses to clock Jackie in the back of the head. Tori gets the worst backslide ever for the pin.

Tori and Sable are about to brawl when the Ministry of Darkness interrupts. Sable can’t escape because there are ropes with huge gaps between them behind her. Taker says he wants to see what she’s got. Sable starts doing the grind so Taker grabs her by the throat. He says he’s got Vince’s meal ticket so he needs to get out here right now to save her.

Vince tells Shane to stay in the back with Stephanie while he takes care of this. Isn’t she supposed to be going to Connecticut? Vince comes out, drops the mic and then heads right back through the curtain. He sprints to the back, screaming for Stephanie but finding no daughter in the dressing room. Vince yells at Shane as we take a break.

Back from a break with Vince telling Shane not to call the cops and saying Stephanie must be in the parking lot. Instead of, you know, going to look for her, he walks around the dressing room. This is very interesting to see when you know what’s coming in the story.

Here’s a sullen X-Pac with something to say. He came back here a year ago because of a phone call from HHH saying DX was falling apart. Then last night HHH turned on him by making a choice. The Outlaws and X-Pac will be out here every week to tell Hunter to suck it until the day they die. HHH’s name may be Hunter, but tonight he’s the hunted. Nice line there.

Vince gets a call from Undertaker saying she really is sugar and spice and everything nice.

Big Show vs. Test

Big Show is freshly face after objecting to Vince yelling at him last night. A boot to the face sets up the chokeslam to end Test in about 30 seconds.

Big Show talks about how Vince is having some personal trauma right now, but Show doesn’t really care. Vince thought that he owned Big Show but no one owns him at all. It was Vince that said when Big Show got to the WWF, everything was going to change. Starting tonight, Vince is going to eat those words.

Vince sends Shamrock to find Stephanie.

Hardcore Title: Steve Williams vs. Hardcore Holly

Holly won the title back last week and is defending here as a result of accidentally breaking JR’s broadcast table a few weeks back. Williams pounds Holly into the corner to start but Holly comes back with kicks of his own. Steve comes back with a quick belly to belly suplex as JR gets on (Spanish) commentary to rant about wanting to go back to work. Williams goes after Holly’s leg, wrapping it around the post for good measure.

Nothing about this has been hardcore so far. A knee crusher has Holly in trouble but he comes back with a DDT before rolling to the outside. Here’s a table but Williams hits a quick powerslam to drive Holly through, only to take out the referee in the process. Cue Al Snow with a frying pan to lay out Williams to keep the title on Holly.

Rating: D. They managed to make a hardcore match boring. That’s really hard to do when you think about how insane some of these matches could be. The JR/Steve Williams stuff needs to wrap up soon as there’s just nothing interesting at all in there. People don’t want to boo JR and these heel turns never work for him.

The Rock vs. Billy Gunn

Shane joins commentary. Rock powers Billy into the corner and fires off right hands as Shane goes nuts. Billy comes back with a drop toehold and a dropkick before working on the arm for a bit. Rock slugs Gunn down as Shane tells everyone to focus. A suplex gets two for the Great One and there’s a Stun Gun to Gunn for two more. They head outside with Billy being sent into the barricade and Rock jumping on commentary, only to have Billy flash him for no apparent reason. Back in and Billy fires off some right hands, only to be caught in the Rock Bottom and the People’s Elbow (BIG ovation) for the pin.

Rating: D+. Rock’s face turn is imminent at this point for the same reasons it happened last time: you can’t hold that kind of charisma down. The other thing to remember is that Rock never really turned face in 1998. He just started fighting heels but still talked the same trash and acted arrogant before joining up with Vince and company. Billy Gunn continues to get on my nerves.

Shamrock says he’ll beat the information out of whomever he has to in order to get Vince’s baby girl back.

Austin watches the clock.

Ken Shamrock vs. Gangrel

Shamrock starts fast and wins a quick slugout with a clothesline. Gangrel comes back with a quick powerslam for two and a DDT for the same. Ken fires off a dropkick and demands to know where Stephanie is. He takes Gangrel to the floor and sends him into the steps before shoving the referee for getting in Shamrock’s way.

Gangrel is rammed into various objects but still says he doesn’t know where she is. Some whips into the steps soften Gangrel up a bit more before we head back inside for right hands and more interrogation. The fans get distracted by something so Shamrock stalls for a bit. The belly to belly sets up an ankle lock on Gangrel to end the massacre.

Rating: D+. This was much more of a match than an angle which makes it hard to grade. Gangrel was there as a warm body for Shamrock to beat on which is probably the best idea given his rather limited in ring skills. At least this short match had a purpose, unlike a lot of other stuff you’ll see around here.

Post match Edge and Christian come after Shamrock and the lights go out. Shamrock gets a blood bath but he grabs Christian by the ankle. He cranks on the hold until Christian says Stephanie is in the basement.

Post break Shamrock is in the basement to find the lost princess.

Intercontinental Title: Road Dogg vs. Goldust

Feeling out process to start until Ryan Shamrock heads to the ring, only to be sent to the back by Blue Meanie. Roadie pounds Goldie into the corner before Goldust cranks on the champion’s arm. Road Dogg comes back with a rollup for two and we stop again. Shattered Dreams is blocked by the referee but Road Dogg goes after Blue Meanie for some reason. Meanie accidentally splashes Goldust and Road Dogg bulldogs Meanie into Goldust’s crotch. The juke n jive sets up the shaky knee drop, only to have to escape the Curtain Call. Meanie clocks Dogg with the belt, allowing the Curtain Call to connect for the title.

Rating: D. How in the world do you overbook a match that runs four minutes? Also I don’t get the mentality of having the title change here instead of doing it the night before at WRESTLEMANIA. These guys were the last two in the fourway last night, so why not give Goldie the title there? Nothing match which was WAY overdone.

Post match Goldust says that was a raging climax, which was the tagline of Wrestlemania last night. He says we’ll know something very soon, whatever that means.

Shamrock finds Stephanie crying with the Ministry mark on her forehead.

Stephanie cries on her dad’s shoulder. That’s a relief. It had been a full ten minutes since we saw Vince.

Tag Titles: Owen Hart/Jeff Jarrett vs. Legion of Doom

It’s a brawl to start of course with the LOD (flanked by Paul Ellering) cleaning house to start. Animal slams Jeff down for two and we’re ready to go. The fans call Owen a nugget but an Animal suplex quiets them down. Jarrett’s knee to the back allows Owen to kick Animal’s head off to take over before it’s off to Jeff. Animal comes back with a double clothesline and cleans house as Hawk finally comes in to help out. The Doomsday Device puts Owen down but there’s no referee. Jeff cracks the guitar over Hawk’s head and puts Owen on top to retain the belts.

Vince thanks Shamrock for his services and Shane has the Smoking Skull belt. Vince doesn’t care because this night is over. Shane is tasked with giving the belt back to Austin. They leave but Shane says tonight isn’t over.

X-Pac vs. HHH

Shane is out here with HHH, meaning odds are he didn’t give Austin the belt back yet. It’s a big brawl to start of course with HHH firing off right hands to take over. Pac comes back with some kicks and chops, only to be taken down by the knee to the face. Another kick to the face puts HHH down but he misses the Bronco Buster. The facebuster puts Pac down again but he comes back with a spinwheel kick and the flipping clothesline, but Pac wants to chase Shane. He runs right into a Chyna clothesline, drawing the fast DQ.

Rating: C-. Nothing match again here as it’s barely long enough to rate. The DX split was fine as they had pretty much done all they could have done, but HHH wasn’t ready to go to that next level yet. Feuding with X-Pac didn’t help either as Pac was nothing more than a midcarder, but at least he was over so the fans cared.

Shane, HHH and Chyna beat X-Pac down post match until Kane makes the save. Shane actually goes after him but the distraction doesn’t help HHH all that much. Chyna’s distraction on the other hand lets HHH hit Kane in the head with a chair for not much effect.

Shane stays in the ring for the big closing number with Austin. He says they’re both champions and if Austin wants his belt, all he has to do is look around the waist of the most electrifying man in sports entertainment. Cue Rock with the title over his shoulder, making Shane look like a mean old liar. Rock gives Austin credit before changing his mind because there’s nobody (crowd: “NOBODY!” Rock: “Don’t do that.”) that can take this belt from him. He may have lost last night, but it took TWO Stunners to do it.

Cue Austin for the fight with Rock sending him into the announce table. They head back inside and there’s a Stunner for Shane, only to have Rock take him down again. The Skull belt to the head drops Austin and here’s HHH to help with the beatdown. Shamrock and Test are here as well but Big Show makes the save, allowing Austin to stand back while he cleans house. A chokeslam to HHH ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. If you didn’t know any better, odds are you wouldn’t know this wasn’t the show after Wrestlemania. What happened tonight? Austin vs. Rock and Undertaker vs. Vince continued, a midcard title changed hands, and we had two show long angles, only of which barely had a resolution at all. This could have been any given Raw after any given PPV, which is really hard to get accept the night after Wrestlemania. Not a bad show, but I was expecting something very different.

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: March 22, 1999
Location: Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 12,264
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s finally the go home show for Wrestlemania and things should be pretty much set in stone. However, since this is Russo World, it’s time for some last minute changes to the midcard because he can’t sit still for five minutes. There is however one major thing on this show that will be remembered for years to come. Let’s get to it.

Austin arrives and talks to the driver of a beer truck. That brings a smile to my face.

Here’s the Corporation to open the show. Vince talks about how great of a night Wrestlemania will be for them before handing the mic off to the European Champion Shane McMahon. Shane brags about how he can beat X-Pac like a drum but wants to do it tonight instead of Sunday. Vince says that his family is very secure and says Big Boss Man and others will be waiting on Undertaker when he arrives tonight. He believes Austin and Undertaker are working together but it’s not going to work.

Rock says we’re six days away from heading to Philadelphia for the end of Austin’s career. Austin is shown watching in the back but Rock isn’t surprised because Austin is drawn to Rock’s star power. Rock guarantees that Austin can’t beat him but Austin is going for a walk in the back. Vince makes Austin vs. Big Show for tonight with Rock as guest referee to make sure things are all fair.

This brings out Mankind who calls himself the best referee there is, was and ever will be, meaning it should be Rock vs. Mankind for the right to referee the main event. We’re now having matches to determine the referee for the main event on the same show. That’s one thing on Wrestlemania (and that’s a BIG stretch) but now we’re doing it on Raw? Mankind talks about how Shawn Michaels is cool with this and leaves, but Vince says cut the music. He talks about a street fight but gets cut off by Austin…..in a beer truck.

It’s the famous moment with Austin driving a Coors Light truck into the arena and saying he’ll win the title at Mania before spraying Rock and the McMahons down with beer. This was voted the #1 moment for the first ten years of Raw which is pretty ridiculous when you think about it. It’s not even Austin’s biggest moment on Raw, with stuff like the first Stunner to Vince or costing Rock the title two months before this would pretty easily trump this. It’s a cool moment, but it’s not THAT good. Vince swimming in beer still works really well though.

Apparently JR is at a frat party. This JR IS EVIL stuff is really stupid.

Tag Titles: Owen Hart/Jeff Jarrett vs. The Brood

It’s Edge/Gangrel challenging. Gangrel pounds on Owen to start but gets caught in a spinwheel kick. Off to Edge who gets about a foot away from Owen as Hart dives over. They call it a powerslam but I think that move needs actual contact to count. Jarrett comes in and gets caught in the Edge-O-Matic for no cover. Christian comes in from the floor as I guess we’re under Freebird Rules. Again it’s Russo World so why not. Edge gets two off a high cross body as the teams have changed corners. Everything breaks down and Owen hooks the Sharpshooter on Edge but Public Enemy comes in for the no contest.

Everyone brawls but the lights go out. They come back on to reveal Debra covered in blood. Somehow after that match, we needed a battle royal with the last two guys in the ring getting the title shot at Wrestlemania.

The Outlaws say they’ll beat each other tonight.

The Corporation gives Shane a pep talk and the Stooges are sent to get coffee.

Hardcore Title/Intercontinental Title: Billy Gunn vs. Road Dogg

Title vs. Title with Roadie defending the IC Title and Gunn defending the Hardcore Title because Vince Russo likes to mess with us. This isn’t a hardcore match despite the title being on the line. Feeling out process with both guys scoring with basic stuff until Roadie armdrags Gunn into the corner. Gunn sends him into a corner as well, only to be punched down for the shaky knee. Billy armdrags Roadie down a few times and hits the Fameasser but here are Snow, Goldust and Venis for the DQ.

Rating: D-. As is the case with almost any wrestling in this era outside of the main event, this was worthless. There are two problems here. First of all is the aforementioned double switch. It messed up months of stories and gave us Billy Gunn as a hardcore guy which didn’t fit at all but it was surprising so it’s good right? Second, no one wanted to see the Outlaws fight so no one was interested in the match. Nothing to see here.

Something scares the Stooges.

Back from a break and the Stooges have been attacked by……the Legion of Doom? Oh because of the imitation last week. Yeah whatever.

Here’s Blue Meanie with a chair to call out Ken Shamrock for some reason. He says that the company isn’t big enough for the both of them so tonight the Meanie is taking a stand. Shamrock’s music hits but it’s Ryan instead of Ken. Meanie tries to spank her but here are Ken and Goldust, who wind up brawling as Meanie and Ryan bail. Meanie saves Goldust from the ankle lock with a chair shot. I guess that’s your Intercontinental Title build.

Back to the JR frat party as JR wants girls.

The Ministry of Darkness arrives.

Sable vs. Ivory

Non-title. Ivory’s friend D’Lo Brown jumps in on commentary. Sable wants to stretch before we get going and we hear about Hardcore Holly vs. Al Snow vs. Billy Gunn at Mania. Cue PMS as Sable hits a horrible kick to Ivory’s ribs. Terri and Jackie yell at D’Lo and Ivory gets a pair of near falls. Jackie trips Ivory and Sable wins with the powerbomb. This was nothing, again.

Tori comes in and beats Sable down.

Mankind vs. The Rock

The winner gets to referee the main event tonight. They brawl to the floor to start with Rock being sent into the steps, only to come back and post Mankind. The referee takes a chair away from Rock but he suplexes Mankind on the floor as they head inside. Mankind comes back with a slam of his own to set up his own People’s Elbow but only hits mat. A low blow stops Rock’s comeback but Mankind is a good guy so it’s ok. Rock hits him low right back and it’s out to the floor again.

We get the always funny mid-match commentary from Rock but the distraction lets Mankind score with a clothesline. Back in and Rock stomps away in the corner but Mankind fires off right hands of his own. The referee gets bumped so there’s no one to count after Rock hits a DDT. Back up and Mankind hits the double arm DDT but still no referee. Instead it’s Socko time, which draws out Big Show to chokeslam Mankind, drawing the DQ from the awakening referee.

Rating: C. This didn’t have time to develop but Rock vs. Foley is always worth checking out. There’s natural chemistry there and you just can’t teach something like that. Mankind was on the down side of his career at this point but he was still more than a big enough deal to give the fans hope.

Rock yells at Big Show.

Kane vs. Goldust

Goldust vs. Shamrock vs. Venis vs. Road Dogg is announced for the PPV. No match though as Goldust throws a fireball at Kane, revealing himself to be HHH in disguise. This is retaliation for Kane burning Chyna a few weeks ago.

Austin tells Mankind to stay out of his way in the main event.

X-Pac vs. Shane McMahon

This is non-title and in the parking lot. Pac kicks him down and pounds away, drawing the Mean Street Posse in to beat Pac down. The rich guys speed off in sports cars.

Ken Shamrock/Big Bossman/Test vs. Undertaker/Acolytes

Brawl to start (duh) with Boss Man staring Taker down. He blasts Undertaker in the head with the nightstick but Taker sits up. Everything heads outside and then into the crowd as another “match” ends in less than two minutes.

The lights go out as we go to a break.

The lights lead nowhere as a disheveled Vince has something to say after the break. He shows us the beer bath again before guaranteeing that Austin won’t enjoy what’s coming. There’s no chance that Austin wins the title back on Sunday because tonight’s guest commentator will beat him at Wrestlemania.

Big Show vs. Steve Austin

This was supposed to be the main event of Wrestlemania 2000 if you can believe that. Mankind is guest referee. Austin flips Show off to start but gets thrown into the corner. Show won’t be whipped across the ring and chops Austin down. Austin slips away and takes Show’s leg down before trying to wrap it around the post. Big Show kicks Austin over the barricade from his back but Mankind breaks up some choking.

A buckle pad was ripped away in the process and Austin is rammed face first into the steel for two. Austin tries a Stunner but Big Show casually picks him up and launches Austin away. Austin staggers to the floor and Big Show press slams him on the concrete. Rock: “It wasn’t on his head but the Rock will take that.”

Show picks him up again but Austin posts him for no effect. Instead Austin gets launched into the post to put him down again. Mankind grabs a chair to force it back into the ring as Austin is in big trouble. There’s a bearhug on Austin but he finally bites his way out. The Thesz Press takes Show down and Austin grabs the chair. Two shots to the leg and three to the head (Mankind is cool with it) set up the Stunner for the pin.

Rating: C. Just a brawl here to give the fans something to get excited about for Sunday. There’s nothing wrong with combining the two feuds into one match and I’m glad that it wasn’t the standard tag match for a change. Big Show really came off like a monster here and Austin needing to heat to beat him was a nice touch.

Post match two brawls break out with Rock hitting the Rock Bottom on Austin to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Well it definitely hyped up Wrestlemania, but the booking isn’t much in the way of quality. Wrestling was cast off during 1999 in favor of fast segments disguised as wrestling matches to build interest into an eventual match. The problem was when those matches sucked, what were the fans supposed to care about? Good buildup show, not a great show in general.

Here’s Wrestlemania if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/24/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xv-russo-at-his-best/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Note that this is very old and the quality isn’t what it would be today.

 

Smackdown (Debut Weekly Episode)
Date: August 26, 1999
Location: Kemper Arena, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Well, since I just reviewed Summerslam 99 for the series, I figured I’d throw this in as well. It’s four days since Summerslam, and all you really need to know is this: HHH won his first world title three days prior to this on Raw. That’s about it.  This is also the debut of one Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah.  Let’s get to it.

We open with what else, a recap of the end of Summerslam and then the next night on Raw where HHH breaks JR’s arm, followed by Shane demanding that Foley defend the title that night. Shane gives him a chair, and he hits Rock who for some reason was doing commentary.

A pedigree ends the epic reign of Mankind, and puts HHH one step closer to Flair. This was the big eagle belt too, so it looks amazing. For some reason, Ross is fine after having his arm snapped three days ago. You have to love pro wrestling. The music and pyro go off as I remember everything from this, which is used perfectly in the game series which I like.

We open with a video in which there naturally are no Smackdown clips. That’s likely the only time in history that’s happened. I miss the old setup and intro actually. Also, you may be thinking the first Smackdown was months before this, but that was just a special. This is the first regular weekly episode.

Anyway, we start with HHH coming to the ring for the first time as world champion, which is kind of a cool moment I guess. HHH winning the title was actually very well done, as he had built himself up for over three years at this point, and delaying it one extra day was brilliant. We get a loud vulgar chant as HHH says he has four words for them: I am the World Wrestling Federation Champion. Yeah, I have no idea how that’s four words either.

This is actually a bad promo as he’s rambling quite a bit. He more or less calls out Rock, and since HHH is a person, the People’s Champion comes out. It’s pretty cool that the show was named after one catchphrase. The fans are insane for this guy. You know, I think I used to be a Rock mark. I love his lines but back in the day I didn’t. That’s just kind of odd. Oh, Rock challenges for a title match tonight.

HHH says he’s not in his league. They turn this into a war of words and Rock just owns him on every line. Despite being a former world champion, you can really see that this is like his first time going for the belt, as his character was completely reinvented in just 6 months. Oh crud HBK is coming out. I forgot he was commissioner at the time.

He makes the match tonight, and somehow takes two minutes to say the match is tonight. Anyone that wants to criticize Vince for taking too long should go after HBK. It’s horrid. Oh and he’s the referee tonight. This was in a period where you couldn’t have a match without there being a guest referee. I couldn’t stand it.

Since this hasn’t gone on long enough, SHANE comes in as we reach 15 minutes for the opening segment. He makes himself the second guest referee for the match. HBK says that can’t happen because Shane will be busy in a match. Apparently it’s against Foley, who ALSO has to come out. Naturally he has a mic.

Apparently all the talk about stroking and screwing has his excited. He messes up some words (intentionally) and rips off some Rock stuff which always makes me laugh. I was always one of the dozens and dozens, just so it’s known. Rock says screw this and hits the ring and we’re on.

The Posse runs out to help Shane but X-Pac runs out to beat up the Posse, then the Pope runs out to fight off Pac, followed by Wolverine because he just doesn’t like the Pope, but he’s countered by the entire population of Uruguay. Literally, ten people were involved in that one segment. We’re twenty minutes in and that’s all that’s happened so far. This isn’t going to be easy is it?

Apparently there’s a triple threat tag title match tonight. Also some guy named Jericho has his first match. Test might get an answer to asking Stephanie to marry him, and we all know how well that winds up.

Jarrett is dragging Debra and Miss Kitty (who debuted Monday) to…some undisclosed location that I guess was supposed to be the ring. Billy Gunn is coming to the ring too.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Billy Gunn

Ok, so Jarrett won the IC and Euro belts on Sunday but on Monday he gave the Euro one to Mark Henry. Also, there was an open contract to face Jarrett for the IC belt and Gunn ran off to find a pen. In between Chyna signed it, kicking off her and Jarrett’s great feud. On Monday though, Jeff hit Chyna with a guitar, and Billy hit Jarrett, leading to this match.

See how nice it is to have two shows in a week where stories can be built up? See how nice that is? This is non title. I’m not a fan of Billy, but his running leapfrog was always pretty cool. Chyna comes out as Kitty gives Jeff a guitar. She accidentally nails Debra, allowing Gunn to roll up Jeff for the win. Chyna gets in and he starts to moon her but Chyna low blows him.

Rating: B. This is the first match in the history of Smackdown (technically) and Billy Gunn wins it? Wow, that’s a trivia answer no one wants. Anyway, this was actually a pretty good match. You have to judge TV and PPV matches differently due to time, and I’m doing so here.

Just keep that in mind: what I call a good match on TV doesn’t mean it would be good on PPV, which is what the majority of my scale is based on. Anyway, this was short but sweet with a lot of high impact moves in a very short timespan.

Lillian Garcia (WTF?) is with Al Snow in the back, saying that Pepper has been kidnapped by Bossman. Snow is freaked out over this.

Jericho has Finkel polishing his boots. That’s just funny.

We cut to Test who is pacing around nervously.

Tag Titles: APA vs. X–Pac/Kane vs. Big Show/Undertaker

APA lost the belts to Pac and Kane who lost them to the two tall guys, so there’s your backstory. The first thing that I notice here is that for the majority of his career, Taker simply has not cared about belts. Aside from his time with the WHC, do you ever remember him wearing a belt? On his way to the ring here as a tag champion, Paul Bearer is holding his belt for him.

It’s like Taker just doesn’t care, which can be good, but at the same time, I prefer someone like Austin who would throw the belt around and make sure that you KNEW he was the champion of the world. Anyway, just as the match starts, Taker sits down at the announce table, saying that this is going to be hard love for Show. Apparently Show wants to learn to be like Taker and he’ll do whatever it takes to do so.

This starts off fast and never stops being fast. Like I said in the Summerslam review, the problem here is that X-Pac is just out of his league here. Think about it. There are 6 people in this match. Aside from X-Pac, the smallest is Ron Simmons, who is a tank. X-Pac just doesn’t look right in there. This match really could be split into two parts.

Early in the match, we have the stereotypical Big Show, who is powerful, but can’t put together a good offense if his life depends on it. Kane and Bradshaw knock him to the floor and Taker calls him over. He slaps him in the head to begin the second half of the match. After this, Show dominates and once Kane is sent to the floor, Show chokeslams the tar out of Pac to win.

Rating: B. This was another good TV match. It’s about 5 minutes long but there are no slow periods in that 5 minutes at all. It is nonstop action the whole time which makes it very good. On TV you have to hold your audience as they have a bunch of other channels to watch. On PPV you don’t have to worry about that as you have their money already. This was well done and fast paced, making it a good match.

Test is still walking around. Stephanie arrives but doesn’t answer him yet.

Bossman comes out and says that Snow needs to come out. He says that Snow gets his dog back for a title shot. If not, he’ll kill the dog.

Commercial. There have been others but this is the only one where you can really tell that it is. Lawler pitching Magic cards is kind of funny.

Hardcore Title: Al Snow vs. Big Bossman

I guess he stole the dog on Monday. Yep, the dog is nervous and Jerry is no longer dry. Yeah that’s not really funny. Snow only cares about getting his dog back so he’s distracted. This is all of three minutes long and ends with Bossman slamming Snow in the head with the nightstick.

He of course leaves, stealing Pepper again in the process. A week later they would meet in a hotel room where Snow would be given dinner that was, you guessed it, Pepper. It ended up being decided in the Kennel From Hell match. If you from to see something awful, go look that one up.

Rating: C. I’ll go with average because it’s just too short to really grade. Snow did next to nothing, but that fit with the storyline of him being nervous and upset. I really don’t know where they thought this would wind up going, but whoever thought the Kennel match was a good idea should be shot.

In the back, X-Pac leaves, yelling about how he’s tired of losing. Yep, two losses to a dream team really is a horrible thing Sean. Kane calls out for him, and Ross says the rather dumb line of was that Kane? No JR. It was Elvis.

Jericho is on his way to the ring for his first match.

In the arena, Snow wakes up and is told that Pepper is gone. He SPRINTS to the back. I’ve never seen someone in wrestling run that fast.

Commercial.

Rock and HHH are shown on a split screen getting ready, as Ross says another brilliant line: it’ll never get any bigger than this. Well thanks JR. Now I know there’s no point to watching the future shows since this one will be the best ever. Seriously, how is he in the HOF and Solie isn’t?

Snow is frantically looking for Pepper and Bossman.

Road Dogg vs. Chris Jericho

As I said in the Summerslam review, Road Dogg was perfect for Jericho as he was someone that was equally good on the mic and therefore could match Jericho on the mic. Also at this time, Jericho was using the double power bomb for his finisher. We get some generic insults, but as predictable as he was, Road Dogg had all kinds of energy and charisma which no one can deny.

At this time, Jericho was the internet god who was being wasted in WCW forever and when he was signed, the IWC collectively orgasmed. Ross says this should be something. Yes JR, it’s called a wrestling match. If it wasn’t something, nothing would be happening. Jericho gets his Canadian teeth kicked in early on by Road Dogg, until the warrior Howard Finkle (I didn’t name him that) comes down and sprays something in Roadie’s eyes.

This lets Jericho just go nuts on his back, eventually turning into a Dudley and grabbing a table. He sets it up for Road Dogg but it gets countered into a DDT. We get a short comeback before Jericho counters into the double powerbomb with the seconds through the table. You know, if Roadie hadn’t grabbed Jericho’s hands, Jericho might not have been able to lift him for the second. Just a thought. Walls of Jericho follows as the suits run out for the save.

Rating: C+. It was ok I guess. I don’t get the point in having Jericho lose his first match other than to make Jericho look insane. That works I guess, but the in ring work wasn’t great for me.

Back from commercial, we see Jericho talking to Howard about how he had his job stolen by Tony Chimmel, and that Howard is a warrior and should go get it back. We cut to the arena where Tony is introducing a match, only to be interrupted by the music of the Ullllllllllllllltimate Warrior.

Fink runs down, hits the ropes and pounds on his chest as I try not to hurt myself from laughing so hard. He yells at Tony, which is weird to hear in that velvet smooth voice. He shoves Tony down, but of course gets the tar beaten out of him for it by Tony. This was hilarious, but the fans aren’t sure what to make of it. Jericho comes out and gets Fink and they leave.

Ken Shamrock vs. Val Venis

This never happens and Val is never seen. Ken passes Jericho and Fink on the way out and Jericho sends Fink after him. You can guess how this goes, but he distracts Ken long enough for Jericho to nail him with a chair and kick off Jericho’s first feud. Shamrock would be fed to Jericho and never be heard from again.

Stephanie comes out next. She needs to heave her hair straightened more often. Test is getting a very solid pop here. For the life of me I don’t get why they just threw him in a tag team. I heard rumors they were going to actually put the belt on him for all of a week but instead it stayed with HHH.

Granted this was about 5-6 months later. The fact that Stephanie said that doing this in the ring was perfect is just funny to me. I guess wrestling runs in her blood. Anyway, Test gets on one knee and she says yes immediately, completely no selling the question. Shane and the Posse run out, breaking their word from Sunday’s stipulation. Mankind comes out and chairs all of them for the save. He grabs a mic and says that they need to have their match right now.

Mankind vs. Shane McMahon

Before we start, Mankind says that Shane can have one good shot first. He turns his back and Shane hits him, but Foley is down for about 5 seconds before popping up and beating the tar out of Shane. The Posse is still out cold in the ring while this is happening. Just as I say that Mick rolls them out. Shane tries to run but gets caught because Foley is the fastest man alive. Just making sure you were paying attention.

Foley hits a side Communist legsweep but the Posse beats on him. Test conveniently gets up at the same time to fight them off as the Stooges run out to also help beat on the Posse. This is just flat out fun. Even Stephanie gets in on it, beating on one of them. Back in the ring, Chyna and HHH run out and hit Mankind in the….some undeterminable area with a chair to let Shane win. This just further proves my Foley is a career jobber theory, now available in the Old School section.

Rating: C-. This was just a big brawl and Shane’s offense was a clothesline I think. It was meant to just kind of progress the feud without actually doing anything, so I can’t really grade it fairly.

Jericho and Fink are running away, but Jericho leaves him behind so Shamrock can beat on him.

Cole is following Tori down the hall as she’s topless. For no apparent reason, she takes her pants off and walks down the hall in just a thong without saying anything.

Cole interviews Austin from something that happened earlier in the week. Austin says that he’ll be back from the knee injury that HHH caused at Summerslam in about a month or so. Austin is asked about how HHH has been a lot more aggressive lately, which he has been, and whether or not he stole it from Austin, which he did.

Evening Gown Match: Ivory vs. Tori

You know the drill here: get them to their underwear to win. These two had one of the worst matches of all time at Summerslam, followed by Ivory trying to make Tori lose her clothes. This was just weird. I forgot how much I hate Ivory’s music.

We cut to the back where the suits won’t let Tori come out. For some reason King doesn’t understand the difference between various states of undress, which isn’t really that complicated. She comes out in a tshirt over her thong. The announcers call Ivory Tori about 5 times which is annoying. It’s over in about a minute as Ivory is stripped. Luna comes out to pull Tori off Ivory.

Rating: N/A. Not enough to grade, but it was just completely pointless.

Lillian is with HHH and Chyna. The booing is so loud you can’t hear Lillian talking. HHH threatens Shawn to stay out of his way or else.

Rock is walking down the hallway towards the ring. Shawn is walking down the hallway towards the ring. Al Snow is still looking for Pepper. Test and Stephanie are congratulated as they leave.

WWF Title: Rock vs. HHH

Like I’ve said, Shawn is guest referee. His shorts are downright absurd. HHH comes out first and I think I like this music more. Rock comes out and they start very fast. It’s HHH getting his head handed to him early on and after a brief comeback, Rock gets him ready for the Rock Bottom. He doesn’t get it though because he has to drag HHH to the middle of the ring so the move happens at a good camera angle.

Pedigree misses too, so that’s 1-1 on missed finishers. They brawl up on the ramp for awhile with Rock just beating the heck out of him. They brawl in front of the announce table and with HBK looking right at them, Chyna low blows Rock. She gets ejected and then spends at least a minute arguing, costing Rock a chance at a can’t miss near fall. I mean really, how rude. Rock could have gotten a solid two there.

Shane comes out as HHH is in control here in the main event of the night of run ins. The rest of the match is mainly Shawn and Shane arguing. Rock starts his comeback as Lawler keeps thinking Shawn is going to screw HHH. Shane finally gets punched. Rock Bottom leads to the elbow, but as he turns to drop it, he gets kicked in the face by Shawn. This is shocking for some reason, despite the fact that HHH and Shawn used to be best friends. Pedigree ends the show as Chyna, Shane, HHH and Shawn celebrate.

Rating: B. By far and away the match of the night. It was like a PPV main event but moving at fast forward speed. It was good and there was a decent flow to it. No one thought Rock had a legit chance at winning, so they did the best they could and it came out pretty well. The chemistry these two had was off the charts to say the least and this was just paving the way for the classics they would have next year.

Overall Rating: B. This is a show that benefited from one thing: it was just an extension of Raw and painted blue. By doing this, it more or less inherits the Raw juggernaut upon being created. This feels like an episode of Raw which means it’s great. If you like WWF at this time, you’ll love this. It’s a packed show, but it never feels rushed, which is a good thing. Find it if you’re interested. It’s not great, but it’s certainly not dull.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Bloodymania V
Date: August 14, 2011
Location: Hatchet Landing, Cave-in-Rock Illinois
Commentators: Kevin Gill, Shaggy 2 Dope

This is what you get for saying you’ll review almost anything. This is Juggalo Championship Wrestling, which is the Insane Clown Posse’s company. If you don’t know who they are, they’re a band who dresses like clowns and are incredibly controversial for their lyrics and all that jazz. They’re also huge wrestling fans and got into both the WWF and WCW on their star power. They wrestled some matches and it became clear they had the talent of your average backyard wrestler. Naturally WCW had plans on making one of them Cruiserweight Champion because that’s what WCW does.

Now one thing to note: there are actual wrestlers here. It isn’t just ICP and their friends having bad matches. There are names on here like Rhyno, Raven, Nick Dinsmore (Eugene), X-Pac and Vampiro. Also I have no idea who any of these musicians are, nor do I care to know. Other than that I have no idea what to expect here. Let’s get to it.

Some guy in a JCW shirt comes out to open the show. Apparently his name is Kevin Gill. He intros the show and the people are SILENT. The audio on this show sucks so far. The main event is Corporal Robinson, who apparently has been champion for about 40% of the company’s existence, defending against Vampiro. He introduces his broadcasting partners and the audio gets a lot louder.

A DJ plays some music.

Shaggy goes to the back to see about some of the audio issues.

Apparently all of the fans are called ninjas.

Bill Martel vs. The Man of 1000 Gimmicks

The name graphics are backwards at first. The announcers keep talking over the ring announcer. Martel is the Superstar, so you can tell he’s important. The Man of 1000 Gimmicks is looking like a pimp here. From what I can find on the internet, his name is Sal so we’ll go with that. Apparently Sal lost a loser leaves town match a few weeks/months ago but put on a mask and won a match to get back on this show.

Bill slaps him to start but gets slapped right back. Sal takes him to the mat and hits a low dropkick to the head before pulling out….a marshmallow? Oh it was a tampon which he puts in Bill’s mouth. How long is this show again? Martel takes him down again and the audio screws up again. Martel misses a middle rope elbow and Sal clotheslines him down for two. They head to the corner with Sal hitting a tornado DDT and rolling through into a spinning fisherman’s neckbreaker for two. Martel gets a rollup out of nowhere for the pin. This should have been a dark match.

We recap the next tag match. Weed Man (exactly what it sounds like) lost a match to Officer Colt Cabana and had to become Cabana’s deputy. Weed Man wasn’t happy with it and had to help Cabana go after 2 Tuff Tony who is an alcoholic. Finally the drug addict turned on the cop and helped the alcoholic. Cabana brought in US Marshall Adam Pearce and we’ve got a tag match, albeit with Pearce/Cabana vs. Tony and a mystery partner.

The announcers talk but we hear music.

Adam Pearce/Colt Cabana vs. 2 Tuff Tony/???

Commentary is back now but the theme music is still drowning it out. The camera stays on the commentators as we can hear stuff going on in the ring. Even Shaggy and Kevin are asking why they’re being shown. Apparently the show didn’t get going until sometime between 1:30 and 3:30am. No wonder the fans aren’t caring that much. After Tony gives the fans liquor for a few minutes, Weed Man runs in and says he’s the partner of Tony. That’s not exactly shocking given the story. He takes his mask off which is a big deal apparently but it doesn’t get a big reaction. No one knows who he is so what was the point?

Tony and Cabana start things off with Tony controlling the arm early on. Off to Weed Man who stays on the arm while the announcers say he looks like a typical stoner. Cabana punches him down and it’s off to Pearce with a top rope splash for two. Weed Man does a Flair Flip in the corner and is clotheslined off the apron. Cabana rams Weed Man into the steps and Weed Man is busted.

Pearce works on the cut and does the clap non-tag to Cabana. A sunset flip gets two for Weed and we’re already at the main issue with this show: the wrestling is ok at its very best. Weed Man isn’t that good and he’s doing nothing but basics. Anyway it’s off to Pearce as the beating continues. Oh wait let’s look at the commentators again. Pearce goes up and gets crotched and superplexed down.

There’s the hot tag to Tony who cleans house as the announcers make gay jokes about Cabana. Tony hits a kick to the face of Pearce for two and a Lionsault to Cabana gets no cover. Instead of covering, Tony covers his hand in alcohol and tries to light it on fire, but Pearce throws a fire extinguisher at it. Cabana hits Tony with a nightstick for two as Weed Man dives through the ropes onto Pearce. Tony trips Cabana down and a double stomp from Weed Man gets the pin.

Rating: D+. This was one of the main events? If that’s the case this show is in big trouble. This was a run of the mill tag match and not a lot came from it. Cabana and Pearce are talented guys but they need something better than these two for opponents to have a good match. I get that Weed Man and Tony are popular, but they’re not that talented. That’s one of the mistakes ECW made: they would have guys in there to pop the live crowd but it did nothing for the masses. Now that being said, this is a far different kind of company than ECW was so it’s a lot more understandable here.

Cabana arrests Weed Man for taking his mask off. A guy who is apparently the owner of the land this show is happening on says Cabana has no authority here because it’s private property. Weed Man has to be uncuffed and security comes out remove Cabana who shouts about Rodney King. Tony and Weed Man celebrate with the fans.

We recap Zach Gowen vs. Eugene. Gowen has one leg and Eugene (spelled U-Gene here for the sake of copyright infringement but I’m calling him Eugene because it really makes no difference) was really protective of him. Eugene tried to use brass knuckles to win the tag titles but Gowen didn’t want them that way. Eugene was offended and turned on him, setting up this match. Simple story and that’s fine.

U-Gene vs. Zach Gowen

Eugene takes the only leg out but Gowen can fight well on the mat and escapes. Eugene keeps asking for a test of strength but Gowen will have none of that. Back to the mat but Gowen kicks him to the floor. Eugene is still slow so this is a battle of the handicaps. Back in and Gowen gets down in a crouch which freaks Eugene out. Gowen is very quick on the mat so Eugene gets on top of him. A dropkick puts Eugene on the floor and he’s getting very frustrated. He seems to be the heel here.

Back in and Gowen is slammed into the mat for two and it’s off to a chinlock. Eugene uses the classic invisible foreign object to pound away. The commentators debate what country the object is from and continue to get on my nerves. Eugene puts on a half crab, which may be a full crab in Gowen’s case, followed by a giant swing. Eugene loads up what looks like a Samoan Drop off the middle rope but Gowen escapes into a powerbomb for no cover.

A Blockbuster gets two for Gowen but Eugene comes back with an airplane spin. Given that it’s an airplane spin, we get the required ref bump as Gowen is being spun around. Gowen takes Eugene down and this a moonsault but there’s no ref. As Zach wakes the referee up, Eugene blasts Gowen with the foreign object for the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here as it’s amazing what you do when you get seasons pros in the ring. Eugene was always talented and he could make the gimmick work well as he tweaked it enough to make it different at different times. When you take Gowen out of the main event scene of WWE PPVs, he’s a lot less annoying. Decent match here which is probably going to be the high point.

The referee sees the object and reverses the decision. Eugene snaps and destroys Gowen with Gowen’s cane. The referee was busted open in there somewhere too.

The announcers talk about what we just saw.

We recap Richie Boy Breyer Wellington vs. his Butler Geeves. Wellington was going to try to steal the world title but Geeves wound up sneaking in and taking it. 2 Tuff Tony won the belt before Geeves could lay down for Wellington so Wellington and his manager Truth Martini brought in Geeves’ wife Mrs. Geeves before the match tonight. Tonight, the winner gets Mrs. Geeves and the loser has to fight Tank Abbott for five minutes.

Breyer Wellington vs. Butler Geeves

Geeves looks like a Chippendale dancer. We stall to start and look at the announcers a bit who are talking about moon bounce houses. No contact for the first 45 seconds or so. Geeves works on the arm but gets sent to the mat by Wellington to escape. Wellington puts on a headlock as the ring seems a lot louder now for some reason. The announcers keep up a joke about Geeves learning to wrestle online which is beaten into the ground a few minutes into the match.

The guys in the ring are doing nothing beyond basics so far. A butterfly suplex gets two for Wellington and it’s off to a surfboard hold on Geeves. Wellington hits a Backstabber for two. At least I think it was two, as we were looking at the announcers again. Geeves makes a comeback and grabs a rollup for two but walks into a modified Cradle Shock (Sabin’s AA move) for two. Some chick comes out and flashes Wellington, giving Geeves a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. This was really dull and the comeback came so fast that there wasn’t a chance for the crowd to get into it. The girl I guess is replacing Mrs. Geeves for her husband, but he gets them both due to the stipulations. That’s not a bad way to go and I guess now we get the Tank Abbott stuff. Pretty terrible match though.

Geeves says he doesn’t want his wife’s services anymore in a pretty decent promo.

No Abbott stuff for the moment.

Here’s Commissioner Violent J. He plays to the crowd a bit and the fans chant Bruce (his real name). As with everything else tonight, you can barely understand him. He says not to review the show if you’re not observing them. That clears me I guess. Apparently only Juggalos can review these shows. I’m out then. He talks about what you should do and this goes nowhere. We get a King Kong Bundy reference for no apparent reason.

J talks about a guy who is here after not being around for awhile. The fans chant for Evil Dead, who was a corpse that won the first JCW Championship. He had a big advantage because he was death and therefore couldn’t feel pain. More on that later. Evil Dead is the first inductee into the JCW Hall of Fame, and there is no truth to the speculation that it’s just J’s brother in a rubber mask.

Evil Dead comes out and falls down the ramp because he doesn’t have many leg muscles left. He has a note in his hand as he stands on the middle rope. J reads his speech which talks about eating people. Dead falls off the ropes, gets tied up in the ropes, falls to the floor, and finally leaves with J. This ran 13 minutes, or longer than all but one match tonight.

The announcers talk a lot more. This must be an intermission of some kind.

Tag Titles: Ring Rydas vs. Tracy Smothers/Bull Pain vs. Necro Butcher/Mad Man Pondo vs. Raven/Sexy Slim Goody

The Rydas are the champions and are known as Ring Ryda Red and Ring Ryda Blue. They’re masked and are also known as the Irish Airborne, mainly from ROH. The ring is WAY too small for eight people. Raven and Smothers start things off and we start with dancing. Before there’s any contact it’s off to Slim, who is a big fat guy who may or may not be gay. Smothers keeps falling down without any contact being made. Pain comes in and twists Slim’s nipples to start things off.

Bull Pain pounds on Slim as the announcers crack jokes about whatever they think of. A reverse DDT puts Slim down for no cover for Pain. Pain looks like a shorter Albert from his piercing days. The Rydas get on Pain’s nerves and draw him into their corner so Red comes in to pound on Slim. The Rydas are small guys so the size difference is jarring.

Off to Blue vs. Necro with Blue speeding things up and hitting a running knee to the face. Blue goes up but jumps into an uppercut. Off to Pondo who hits a kind of piledriver onto a chair that is in the ring out of nowhere. Things break down a bit and it’s off to Necro vs. Smothers. Necro chops away in the corner and Pain starts beating on everyone with a bat or a pipe or whatever it is.

Tracy comes in and Necro sets for a tiger driver, but Tracy’s daughter/sister (forget it people, it’s JCW) Isabelle comes in to break it up. Pain walks out on Smothers for some reason and Tracy follows. Red breaks up a DDT on Pondo from Raven and heads up. In a pretty awesome looking finish, Red gets shoved off the top by Goody into the DDT from Raven who hits it perfectly for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D+. This was a bit of a mess because there were too many people and too much stuff going on out there at once. The ending was pretty awesome looking though as Red looked dead after that DDT. I have no idea why Raven and Slim are together but it’s Raven so it’s not a big deal at all.

And now the feed goes off for a bit. It wouldn’t feel right if that didn’t happen.

We recap Rhyno vs. Kongo Kong which is basically a battle of monsters colliding. It’s No DQ either.

Rhyno vs. Kongo Kong

No countout or DQ. Apparently Kongo has lost over 90lbs since the video was made because he’s billed as 410lbs here and was said to be over 500lbs in the video. Kong is a savage or something close to one. Kong immediately clotheslines him down but Rhyno pops back up. Rhyno hits a decent belly to belly given how fat Kong is but Kong pops back up. Kong misses a charge and flips over the top rope to the floor in a surprising display of balance.

Rhyno dives onto Kong but loses a slugout on the floor. Back in and the fat man (Kongo if you’re not familiar with Rhyno, which makes me wonder why you’re reading this) pounds away and we get the required nerve hold. Rhyno Hulks Up and finally knocks Kong down with shoulders. The Gore hits….for two? I didn’t see that coming. A second Gore again only gets two but the third one hits the buckle, giving Kongo a rollup win out of nowhere.

Rating: D. Kong is a big guy but there’s nothing more to him than that. Also, why would you have a monster come off looking like he can only win on a fluke? Kicking out of two Gores was a nice surprise as the Gore is a very famous finisher. This was short which helped a bit but it didn’t work that well due to Kong being unable to do much.

We recap the women’s three way. There’s something about training and throwing in a towel and I really don’t care.

Brittany Force vs. Amber O’Neal vs. Ring Girl Randy

Amber is billed as being from Heaven. That’s kind of awesome. The announcers say they hope it turns into lesbianism. Well why bother to just hint at it I guess? Anyway Amber tries to leave but the other two pull her back in and beat her to the floor. Randy hits a Samoan Drop on Force to send Brittany to the floor, followed by a big dive to take Brittany out. Amber sends Randy into the post so let’s look at the announcers.

Back in and Brittany grabs a fast rollup for two on Amber but gets caught in a running Umaga attack in the corner. Amber knocks everyone down and hits a bad X Factor on Force for two. Force gets two off something we missed because we were looking at the commentators. Randy keeps getting beaten up as she tries to get back in. Amber chokes Brittany over the ropes while in a rana position and Randy is back in.

Scratch that as she’s already back out. Amber puts a chinlock on Force for about 10 seconds, followed by a Stink Face. Force avoids a charge and hits a Downward Spiral on Amber and Randy finally gets back in. A facejam from Force gets two on Amber, but Randy comes in and hits a reverse DDT on Force for the surprise win.

Rating: D+. This was your usual three way with the person who looked to be losing the entire time coming out of nowhere for the surprise pin. That’s always annoying as it’s such a played out idea that as soon as Randy kept getting knocked to the floor I knew she was going to win. Nothing to see here but Amber is good looking so it helps.

X-Pac vs. Luke Gallows vs. Rob Conway

The winner gets a contract, even though Conway already has one. Fast paced opening here with no one being able to get an advantage. Conway is sent to the floor and Gallows is knocked out as well, followed by Pac with a big dive. Conway crotches Pac on the platform the ring is on which gets two back in the ring. Now we get to the usual turning point of a triple threat: the fight between the heels (?) that want to pin the guy who is down.

Gallows kills Conway with a chokeslam but Pac kicks Gallows down. Luke kicks Pac in the face in the corner but misses a middle rope elbow. Conway puts a sleeper on Gallows but they both fall to the floor. The sleeper wasn’t broken though and Gallows is put to sleep. Conway goes back in to try to do the same to Pac but X-Pac rolls him up for the pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t terrible but it just came and went. Gallows is as generic of a big man as you can get and Conway is just there, which is why he’s an OVW legend and not much else. The match was as typical of a three way as you could ever ask for. Nothing special at all here though, which might as well be the name of the show.

We recap Corporal Robinson vs. Vampiro. They were friends, Vampiro came into the ring when Robinson won his fourth title and kicked Robinson’s head off. This is something about Robinson proving himself, despite having two title reigns that have gone over two years already. Robinson says this is his life, unlike Vampiro where it’s like the fourth biggest thing on his list. Vampiro says that’s exactly like ICP and they’re doing fine. Both of these guys are in the Juggalo World Order which is the big stable which hasn’t been mentioned until this promo.

JCW World Title: Corporal Robinson vs. Vampiro

Robinson is defending if that wasn’t clear. They shake hands to start and finally lock up. Before anything can get going, here’s Evil Dead for no apparent reason. He gets in the ring and drills the referee as the other two guys get in each others’ faces. Evil Dead DDTs both guys and leaves. This is happening…..why exactly?

Robinson and Vampiro slug it out from their knees which takes a good while. Robinson shoulders him down but gets kicked in the face a second later to give Vampiro control again. Robinson comes back again and tries his finisher called Boot Camp (cobra clutch legsweep) but Vampiro escapes. A neckbreaker gets two for the champion as does a superkick from Vampiro. Vampiro’s chokeslam is broken up and apparently it’s almost 5:00am. Good grief.

A tornado DDT gets two for Robinson as they’re in the problem most indy matches have: they have no idea how to tell a story in the ring and it’s just a string of moves with nothing between them. Vampiro flips off the fans to go heel I guess, and walks into a dragon screw leg whip for his efforts. Robinson puts on a quick leglock but Vamp gets to a rope. The Corporal brings in a chair but Vampiro kicks his knee out just in time.

Vampiro loads up something off the top but gets pulled down into a Tree of Woe. We get the Tommy Dreamer running dropkick into the chair into the guy in the Tree of Woe’s face for two. Vampiro comes back with a kind of Van Daminator and Robinson is busted open. It’s table time now because what would a main event be without one of those? Off to a chinlock by Vampiro so he can bite the cut a bit.

The table is set up in the corner and Vampiro goes after the cut on Robinson’s head. Robinson is sent face first into the chair but Vampiro walks around too much and gets suplexed down for two. Robinson goes up but misses a legdrop to bring things to a halt again. Chokeslam from Vampiro gets two, followed by a Robinson powerbomb and Boot Camp for the pin to retain. The table was never used.

Rating: C-. This went WAY too long which brings it down a bit. Somehow this match was almost twenty minutes long and about four minutes of that was spent on laying around. I have no idea what the point of Evil Dead was but it came and went and didn’t change anything. Not a terrible match or anything and it was fine for a main event on a show of this caliber.

The locker room comes out to celebrate with Robinson as Vampiro leaves. He finally comes back to celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This certainly wasn’t the worst show I’ve ever seen but it’s nothing I’d ever want to see more of. JCW started off as basically a parody of wrestling with things like the announcers saying this match sucks so let’s watch a different one and then they would actually change over to another match or the ICP declaring themselves the winners because they own the company and they’ll fire anyone that beats them. Instead this was just a run of the mill indy show with absolutely nothing memorable or different at all. That being said, the show cost five bucks so it’s really hard to complain.

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Fully Loaded 1999
Date: July 25, 1999
Location: Marine Midland Arena, Buffalo, New York
Attendance: 16,605
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

So with 5 WWF PPVs left in the 1990s, I figured I might as well start getting that number whittled down. Not to mention that one of the 5 was a request so why not just get them all done? The main event is Austin vs. Taker in a first blood match where Austin can lose not only the title but also he would never be allowed to fight for the title again. If he wins he keeps the title and Vince can’t appear on TV ever aga. Other than that we have HHH vs. Rock in a strap match. The card is you standard 99 awesomeness so let’s get to it.

The opening video is about one of us has to go which is the basic theme of the show so there we are. There’s also a picture of a train. Sure why not. We get a clip from Heat where Taker jumps Austin and busts him open. Why that dastardly villain! Austin might need stitches. Vince denies being behind it.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Jeff Jarrett

Edge is actually champion here having won the title at a house show like two days prior to this. Apparently Edge got the shot because it was supposed to be Ken Shamrock but Ken couldn’t get to the show for unspecified reasons, so this is a total shock to the fans. Debra is wearing a bikini and a jacket over it. She’s really not that hot either.

Edge looks really young to say the least. The fans want puppies as we start off very fast. I keep trying to get what the one thing that the Attitude Era has that today doesn’t and I think it’s the unexpectedness of things. I mean who would believe that Edge would win the belt at a house show the night before a PPV?

Look at what happened before the show: Taker jumped Austin. It’s something that adds to the main event and stacks the odds against Austin. Jarrett works on the knee which is smart if nothing else. Granted it also could be having guys like this get 15 minutes on PPV and time on Raw to show off. And now Jarrett goes to the arm. Why? Jarrett hooks a sleeper and of course it doesn’t work. Edge was REALLY good before he messed up his neck. He throws in the Sting headbutt to the balls.

Lawler refuses to acknowledge Edge as champion for some reason. Edge kind of hits a tornado DDT. He had the spear back then? I didn’t know that. He goes to the floor and someone attacks him in the dark. The lights come back on and there’s a big pool of “blood” and Gangrel is out next to Edge. Well that was rather shall we say pointless? The spear hits and Debra is up of course. Gangrel interferes and Jarrett hits the Stroke for the pin to get the title back.

Rating: B. Very solid match here. Again, Jarrett is great in the midcard. Edge got to showcase himself very well here so what more can you ask for? This got the time that it needed and it worked rather well I thought. Granted I really like Edge.

As Jarrett is getting the belt we cut to Austin getting taped up and he leaves. He runs out and stuns Jarrett and yells at Taker. He says Taker is going to bleed before the match starts. Again, it felt unpredictable, which makes it more exciting. Jarrett couldn’t even get out of the ring. That’s saying a lot as far as the rapid pace of the show.

Tag Titles: Acolytes vs. Hardy Boys/Michael Hayes

Yep it’s a handicap match. At this point I had zero clue which was Matt and which was Jeff. We start in the aisle where they just leave the belts. Who would have thought two of these four would win world titles? I don’t think this has started yet. According to Ross it has. Ah there’s the bell so Ross was wrong.

We have Farrooq and Jeff in there to start while Bradshaw beats up both guys on the floor. Matt takes out everyone with a top rope moonsault. They really were great fliers back in the day. Hayes is pretty freaking worthless here but what did you really expect? The APA takes over with just power. Matt picks to tag Hayes. Why in the world would you do that? We get a Freebird reference so I’m good for the night. There’s Jeff. Crowd is DEAD for this.

I think Lita helped them a good bit to say the least. The Hardys simply aren’t that good at this point. Bradshaw gets a nice belly to back suplex off the top. Not bad. Jeff clocks him with Hayes’ cane over the head. Poetry in Motion is still very much a work in progress here. Hayes comes in and a double powerbomb gives the APA their titles back. Edge, Christian and a ladder would be coming soon.

Rating: D+. I didn’t like it at all. Hayes was just in the way here as he’s old and most of the people here don’t know what he used to be nor do they care more than likely. The Hardys would dump him maybe the next night. Either way, the APA would lose the belts to Kane and X-Pac two weeks later so this was just to get Hayes out of the Hardy picture.

Austin is looking for Taker.

D’lo says he wants the European Title back. He’s rather good on the mic.

European Title: Mideon vs. D’lo Brown

Mideon literally found the belt in the back and said he was champion. Ok so not everything in this era was a great idea. Well it’s different I guess. WCW would do the exact same thing with Jim Duggan and the TV Title in about 6 months but even fewer people cared.

D’lo is a guy that’s actually pretty sweet in the ring but he never got a push of note. I always liked him though. Mideon was a guy that had some of the weirdest gimmicks ever but he kept his job anyway so if nothing else he was good enough to keep around. Nothing bad about that at all. Mideon shouts loudly and I think he’s not supposed to be heard.

This is about as basic of a match as you can ask for. Definitely something that belongs on Raw. Smackdown didn’t exist as a regular show yet. Brown botches a tornado DDT for two. Mideon turns around and walks into the Sky High. Low Down gives him the title back to a surprisingly NICE pop.

Rating: C-. I like Brown so there’s your justification. This should have been on Raw though as there is nothing special at all about this match to warrant a PPV spot. To be fair though they kept it short so it’s not like this was eating up PPV time and it wasn’t really bad or anything. Just no need to put it on the PPV.

Three title matches, three new champions.

Austin is doing the same thing.

Snow is with Cole. Snow insisted that Boss Man beat him up. Head has had a spike driven through it and Snow is hearing the screams from it. This was OUT THERE.

Hardcore Title: Al Snow vs. Big Boss Man

Obviously this is hardcore rules. Snow meets him in the aisle and throws down Head and the belt. Boss Man picks up the Head and beats on the spike with the nightstick, bringing Snow to his knees in agony. Ah now the fight is on. Snow is in an anvil case now. That doesn’t last long as he nails Boss Man with a sandbag.

We haven’t even gotten close to the ring yet. Snow keeps telling Boss Man to hit him. We’re in the back now and there goes the cameraman. I’ve always loved Snow’s striking. Hot coffee to Boss Man. We have a first down marker. Sure why not? Boss Man tries to run Snow over with a golf cart but can’t start it. Much funnier than it sounds. Snow rips a potted plant up by its roots and hits Boss Man with it. Ok then. We’re outside now and a bulldog hits on the concrete for two.

Snow keeps yelling to make the voices stop and beats up Boss Man for not doing it. The people outside must be most confused. Yep let’s stop traffic for this fight. Snow is smiling now. I’m cracking up at this for some reason. Snow is handcuffed to a fence and beaten with a rod for the pin I guess. Boss Man runs back into the arena to get his title.

Rating: C. I’m going with average here as it was a crap match but for some reason it was entertaining to me. Snow was NUTS and played that character better than anyone else ever could. I loved it, most won’t.

We recap Show vs. Kane which started as them one upping each other until Taker and Kane reunited. That didn’t last long as they started fighting again. Hardcore Holly is the referee here. Uh, WHY? Oh it’s the superheavyweight thing.

Big Show vs. Kane

I want to see the bullet Holly took for Vince as it must have been freaking huge for him to keep getting pushes, even small ones like this. This was when Show was face and was just going from feud to feud with zero direction. He would get the title in about 5 months. Kane is face too as this is just for bragging rights I guess.

Show hits a gorilla press on Kane. Show leads by one apparently. The big punch misses and we’re in straight big boy brawl mode here. The replay of Show throwing Kane over the top off the press slam has a great sound effect as he hits the ground. Even on Kane’s outfit the chop sounds good. DANG Show is scary strong.

How much of an explanation do you need for these two fighting? Show gets a sweet powerslam on Kane after saying I’m going to powerslam him. This match is an Ezekiel Jackson special: this right here is domination.

Kane makes his comeback and when he goes for the chokeslam he chop blocks Kane and Show hits his chokeslam and gets a fast count. X-Pac comes out and beats up Holly. Taker comes out and beats up X-Pac. Taker and Show join forces in the eternally changing polyamorous trio of big man bromances.

Rating: B-. That’s mainly for Show being freaking SCARY strong. What in the world was the need for Holly though? That makes no sense at all but it’s 1999 so there you are. Show vs. Kane is hard to get wrong other than at KOTR so this was fine. Show was very impressive.

Austin jumps Taker coming through the curtain and busts him open.

We recap Blackman vs. Shamrock, which can be called the Battle of Overrated Shoot Fighters. Seriously, neither guy ever lived up to their potential. Definitely not Shamrock.

Ken Shamrock vs. Steve Blackman

Of course it’s not traditional. We’re in the parking lot and they’re in a ring of cars. Various people are sitting on the hoods and smacking them in rhythm and I’m getting images of Freaks. Maybe 5 people will get that. They get their own entrance music for this. Think of Cena vs. Eddie from Smackdown one night.

Again, it’s unsanctioned but they use WWF music and a WWF referee. Should be noted that the newest of these cars might be ten years old. And they’re already outside the circle. I feel like I’m in kindergarten or something. Yep it’s boring already.

Blackman gets a chain from nowhere. Mabel and Slaughter are there in case you’re wondering for some odd reason. STOP THE FREAKING HONKING! Garbage can is brought in. Shamrock wraps the chain around his fist and a punch or 8 ends this. Oh ok the choke with the chain ends it.

Rating: N/A. Not a match or anything like that. Very short though so nothing unbearable or anything like that.

Terry Taylor, called Rooster, is with Taker. Taker beats him up!

Chyna and Billy Gunn say they’ll win.

Chyna/Billy Gunnvs. Road Dogg/X–Pac

The winner gets to call themselves DX. Ok then. Seriously, how did we never get the big Gunn vs. Dogg feud? They had a few matches but nothing big or long. Remember Pac got beaten up by Show and Taker so he’s not at full speed. Billy and Chyna have matching tights, including thongs.

After the usual intro from Roadie, we’re on. Something tells me the beating earlier was due to some slight to acute intoxication. Pretty sure the all male team is heel here but I’m not sure. Ok maybe it’s the opposite. God bless Russo. They argue over who started DX. Only Chyna can have a claim to that. The Outlaws finally explode and yep, Chyna and Gunn are heels. Chyna is rather sluggish here. Crowd isn’t really caring.

Why in the world do she and Pac need to be there? Gunn vs. Roadie is the MONEY feud here but they never pulled the trigger on it. Gunn hits a Jackhammer. Pac finally gets the tag and cleans ring for a bit and then that ends as he has to be beaten on to be worth anything apparently. This is a rather boring match to say the least. Ross makes gay jokes about Gunn’s tights. Pumphandle on Billy ends it.

Rating: D. Total misfire here as I was so bored on this whole match. Nothing of note here other than Chyna looking good of course. The angle was ok but there was zero point to this being a tag and not some form of the Outlaws going one on one.

Austin is ready.

We recap HHH vs. Rock. Oh come on like this needs an explanation. More or less it’s NOD vs. DX but at this point the face/heel dynamic has been flipped. If nothing else clips of the ladder match are always awesome. This was when HHH was going insane and turning into the Game. Rock accused HHH of sucking up to Vince. He hadn’t married Stephanie at this point.

HHH vs. The Rock

It’s a strap match and the winner gets the title shot at Summerslam. After HHH’s entrance Rock makes fun of Cole which is always great. Who would believe Cole would be employed longer than Rock? Rock thinks HHH was held down not because of politics but because he absolutely sucked.

Sweet goodness this would light the world on fire in a year. And it’s immediately on. Rock isn’t tied on yet. Like I said this was the main push for HHH to the level he’s at today as he rose to the title, winning it the night after Summerslam. Oh you win by pinfall here. Oh and I still hate this gimmick. We’re in the crowd now so I’m guessing this is No DQ? Apparently it’s falls count anywhere. Ok then.

We’re in the crowd for the better part of ever but at least the match can end there so it’s not pointless. A clothesline gets two for HHH as we discuss the MSG Curtain Call. Ross says the dirt sheets and internet made that up. Reality would suggest otherwise I’d say. We’ve been fighting 10 minutes and they were in the ring maybe 20 seconds. Hey we’re in there again! Here’s Chyna who was told to stay out by HHH. Rock Bottom hits but she’s on the apron.

To be fair though she caused HHH to lose his focus to allow the move to connect in the first place. HHH chokes Rock with the strap. HHH removes the strap after beating on Rock a lot. The problem with this is that he has given Rock a free weapon to use. And here’s Billy with a club to blast Rock to give HHH two. The elbow gets two as Billy grabs the strap, allowing the Pedigree to hit and send HHH to Summerslam.

Rating: B-. Not bad I guess but nothing compared to what these two would do. The interference was annoying but I liked the whole falls count anywhere thing which kept the crowd fighting relevant. Not a bad match but by comparison to the rest of their series, this was pretty weak.

We recap the epic feud with Austin vs. Taker/Vince which I’ve gone through time and time again. Basically Austin beat Taker for the title on Raw the night after KOTR and then Taker busted him open. He wanted the rematch to be first blood. Austin loses and can never challenge for the title again and if Taker loses Vince is off TV forever.

WWF Title: Steve Austin vs. Undertaker

Vince is on commentary here. He’s also on crutches due to a legit car wreck. Taker’s music at this time was awesome. The entrances take the better part of ever and they brawl in the aisle to start of course. Austin uses psychology and covers his head. See how much something like that aides things?

The idea here is more or less nothing but head shots which makes sense here so I can’t complain. And now it’s your standard brawl. These two had some serious lack of chemistry together and never had that great match you would think they would have. Austin goes for the knee, which makes sense if you think way too hard about it. Hard to punch someone hard when you’re on your back I guess.

After a lot of brawling and heads being looked at, we hit our climax (I wonder if it was good for them too) as Taker does the Andre spot of being tied in the ropes and Austin has a chair. Shane runs out and slides in but before his head is even up Austin drills him in a cool looking spot. Vince’s face is PRICELESS.

Taker unhooks the buckle but Austin hits the Stunner. This was back when Austin had abs if you can believe that. Austin takes a chair to the back from Taker after beating up Vince. X-Pac is here and more or less hits a Van Terminator on Taker. A TV camera to the head and then a quick cutaway for blading purposes keeps the title on Austin. Austin beats up Vince and fights Taker to end the show.

Rating: C-. Didn’t like it but it could have been far worse. It’s kind of a weak gimmick but it fit the angle so there we are. Austin would fight HHH at Mania but lose the title to Foley before going off for neck surgery and missing a year. Not a bad match but it was missing a spark definitely.

We get exclusive home video footage of HHH saying he’s ready for Austin and Vince being carried out.

Overall Rating: B-. Solid stuff here but at the same time there are some boring parts. One of the key things here is a TON of in ring time. There are very few backstage segments or moments that are just wasted. That’s the perk here. You have four new champions and five title matches. Every match has at least a decent angle behind it.

The wrestling isn’t great but it’s certainly not bad at all. Nothing jumps off the page, but the wrestling talent would be coming soon with Benoit, Angle, Jericho and Guerrero being there in less than 6 months. Good show overall but not great. Steady is a good word for it if that makes sense.

 

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King of the Ring 1999
Date: June 27, 1999
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Attendance: 19,761
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

We’re at the very end of the Corporate Ministry here as Taker is champion and Austin is the CEO due to some complete insanity. The main event tonight is Austin vs. the McMahons in a handicap ladder match for control of the company. Also Taker defends against Rock and there’s the tournament.

They’ve shifted back to having the final 8 on the show, which tells me they didn’t have much else to work with. However, given how bad WCW was doing at the time, it wasn’t really needed. This is a show I vaguely remember, so let’s get to it as I could use a refreshing.

The intro is fairly creative as it’s kind of a crash course of how we got to the main event with little sound bites from political issues such as Kennedy’s do for your country speech which is switched to company here and Nixon saying he isn’t a crook. It’s better than it sounds. No mention of the title match or the tournament but no one cared about those matches anyway so it’s all good.

Before we get going, here are your brackets, which aren’t given at all and we’re halfway through the first match.

Billy Gunn
Ken Shamrock

Big Show
Kane

Road Dogg
Chyna

Hardcore Holly
X-Pac

Back to the midcard guys as it should be I think.

On Heat, Shane fought Shamrock and might be injured. Blackman beat the tar out of him which comes into play later tonight.

Cole says Shane might not be able to fight in the main event tonight.

KOTR Quarterfinals: Hardcore Holly vs. X-Pac

Holly is booed out of the building here so we have a smart crowd. Holly beat Snow and Pac beat Boss Man. Lawler is surprised by Pac’s pyro, despite it having gone off about 100 times before. X-Pac is holding his neck which will also come into play later. I’ve always loved Lawler being such a McMahon fan. X-Pac hits a great cross body off the middle rope.

Pac speeds things up and then Holly slips into the proper position for the Bronco Buster which I hate. And then he goes to the floor and grabs a chair which he blasts Pac with for no apparent reason other than that we need to save time because we have seven matches tonight in the tournament alone. Road Dogg makes the save but X-Pac’s neck is hurt.

Rating: C-. It was just long enough to grade. It’s not bad or anything but with just over three minutes, what can I really get out of this? It’s not terrible I guess, but it’s far from anything of note. Pac was against a relatively small person so he was bearable.

Terry Taylor, somehow more worthless than he used to be, asks Holly why he did that. Holly’s reaction of who are you is great stuff. Holly says he does what he wants and hasn’t forgotten the Big Show, which was a bad idea that went nowhere.

KOTR Quarterfinals: Big Show vs. Kane

Show has been a face for all of five minutes at this point and has been showing off his strength. This is match number one I think in their never ending rivalry. In an amazing stat, Kane is 172 pounds lighter than show. That’s saying a lot as Kane is a giant. Show beat Droz and Kane beat Test. Kane is of course a tweener here as he almost always was. Show manhandles Kane which is just awesome to see.

This is standard monster vs. monster so that’s all that’s needed. Show is on the box of the tape which is odd as he’s just a regular wrestler in the tournament. They mention the internet, but say they mean WWF.com despite making inferences they mean people like us. Ross says that Show is a lot like Andre, which they could make better jokes about in about two years. Kane hits an enziguri and I’m still not sure if I’m spelling that right.

I’ve always marked for that flying clothesline that Kane uses. Show hits a big boot to the referee and Kane hits a low blow. Hardcore Holly comes out because it’s another year and they have to push him again and he takes a Kane chokeslam making him drop the chair he brought with him. I know Kane has slammed Show before, but has he ever hit a chokeslam on him? I don’t remember him doing so.

At least the referee going down here is because of a solid shot like a boot and not just getting run into. Kane puts a choke on Show for about a minute and a half, which should kill him but it’s wrestling so whatever. The fans get very bored very fast with this.

Show just slaps Kane’s arm away because he’s strong to do that from one knee to a man the size of Kane after being choked for about two minutes straight. Kane picks up the chair and pops Show with it to get the pin as the referee just happens to get up on time for the count. Great chair shot if nothing else.

Rating: D+. That choke was 1/3 of the match. Other than that it was your standard stuff from these two so it was ok. Holly needs to fall in a hole though as for the life of me I don’t get why he kept getting pushes like these. It never worked and he never got over but he kept getting them anyway. As for the match, it wasn’t anything special, but I’ve always liked Kane so there we go.

Shane can’t compete according to Vince but you can hear him shouting frpm the locker room that he can go tonight.

KOTR Quarterfinals: Ken Shamrock vs. Billy Gunn

Gunn is in his most famous gimmick here and he beat Viscera and Shamrock beat Jarrett. Gunn has a tag belt but isn’t a champion in a way too complicated storyline that was shockingly a Russo idea. He won one of the titles or something like that in a 6 man but it was never official and the APA got them back in a few days. Yeah it was pointless. Gunn says get out here and forfeit. Shamrock beats up the EMTs and comes out anyway to a nice pop but no music until it comes on as I’m typing that and I’m too lazy to fix it.

Teddy Long, the referee here says that Ken is too hurt to fight but he rings the bell anyway. Gunn is actually smart here and pounds on the chest and ribs and nothing else. Shamrock actually gets a quick ankle lock but a shot to the ribs gets Gunn out of it. You can more or less see the ending coming from miles away. Shamrock starts a comeback and drops a ton of F bombs while spitting up pink blood that’s staining his skin.

I like the blood from the mouth but Vince, you’re miles ahead of everyone in the wrestling world. Buy good fake blood. Shamrock tries a hurricanrana but it’s countered into a powerbomb and the blood flow causes the referee to call it due to the injuries. Also, blood doesn’t hang off the lip like a string. Long takes the safest through the ropes bump I’ve ever seen.

Rating: C+. Although it’s three minutes long, this was actually decent. In those three minutes, we have psychology in the chest/rib work, some decent shots, a decent performance from Shamrock, and an ending that makes sense. It’s weak, but it makes sense. They have way too many matches here so we have three matches and no regular endings yet. That can’t be a good sign.

Buy these WWF video releases that show very little about the wrestlers but were actually pretty good.

Chyna says that she wants to be a queen and Road Dogg has big balls. HHH says that he’s his own man.

KOTR Quarterfinals: Road Dogg vs. Chyna

Road Dogg has a “Down Where, Down There” shirt. Yeah they didn’t steal a thing of that from the NWO, not a thing. He does his standard intro which forever proves that wrestling doesn’t need to exist to get a character over. DX is more or less dead here as it’s just him and X-Pac. Chyna and HHH are heels now. Oh and Roadie got in over Godfather and Chyna over Val Venis.

For an idea on the in ring stuff at the time, none of the 8 qualifying matches went longer than 3 minutes. This is really just a way for Chyna to showcase herself and that’s fine. They start with a very nice hammerlock sequence. The thing that’s forgotten about Chyna is that she could wrestle. Killer Kowalski said she could so that’s pretty solid. I said that before Ross did so I’m happy.

She dominates for a decent while until we hit the floor and HHH slams Roadie into the post. We hear Chyna call a spot which happens at times so that’s ok. Chyna gets points for using a DDT so I like her more than I did for her looks. She steals the Road Dogg’s knee drop which makes me chuckle and gets her a lot of heat. It amazes me how far she fell. Road Dogg can’t really fight back here which is the storyline of the match, which makes a lot of sense actually.

And there’s your ref bump and HHH putting Chyna on top. Make your own jokes. It only gets two though to a GREAT pop. Now Commissioner Shawn comes out for no apparent reason other than to stop HHH. Road Dogg finally snaps and uses his regular offense as HHH is thrown out by Shawn. Chyna goes for her mega low blow but Road Dogg is wearing a metal cup which makes a lot of sense. The pumphandle ends it.

Rating: C+. There was some interesting stuff here. Chyna was a big deal on a semi national level so that’s always a cool thing. Road Dogg was showing he could actually put on a passable match, and the cup thing was smart but simple. This was certainly ok, but it could have been improved by being a few minutes shorter. It wasn’t bad at all though.

Updated brackets:

Billy Gunn
Kane

Road Dogg
X-Pac

There’s one matchup here that makes sense. Can you see it?

Cole is with Rock who says he’ll beat up Taker tonight. This was pretty weak.

Edge/Christian vs. Hardy Boys

This is a rematch from earlier in the night as the APA came out and beat up both teams to demand a match with Billy for the next night to get the other belt back. Edge and Christian are currently the Brood and the Hardys have Michael Hayes as a manager. The winners are the number one contenders also. This is very short but it’s good. Oh like I needed to tell you guys that.

This is when both teams were both very young and very not over. There’s no point in doing any play by play here as just about everything they’re doing here is stuff they’ve done in a million better matches. Edge is starting to use the spear around this time and we get a nice jab from JR by saying that a spear Edge uses to counter Poetry in Motion is the darndest spear that you’ll ever see.

It ends with Gangrel shooting the liquid at Edge by mistake and a Twist of Fate without a name yet by Jeff for the pin. Oh and Michael Hayes and Gangrel fought a lot. The Hardys would take the titles about two weeks later from the Acolytes and lose them back a few days later. Post match JR raves about the spear from the second rope to Jeff. I’m actually laughing at JR saying that’s the greatest spear you’ll ever seen, considering they did the same thing at 10 feet in the air in less than two years.

Rating: B-. It was less than five minutes but it was a good five minutes. These four had a very hard time having a bad match and this was no exception. They just flowed really well together and this was still a fresh match at this time so that helps a lot. The first ladder match was in about 4-5 months.

Buy Fully Loaded!

Taker says balls, making it the third time in one show.

Vince comes out and says Shane is hurt and the winner take all match won’t happen. This would be the first of at least two winner take all matches in this arena that Shane and Austin would be in, the other being Survivor Series 2001. Shawn comes out and Lawler gets a quick losing my smile joke.

Vince says he’ll have a replacement, meaning the match will happen despite Vince saying it wouldn’t. I’m confused already. Lawler says that there should be a church of McMahon started. Somehow, that actually happened later on.

KOTR Semi-Finals: Kane vs. Billy Gunn

Oh well we get more great music here. Kane’s pyro is the loudest thing you will ever hear. Ok, so this is about as basic of a match as you could imagine, but it’s just boring. For one thing they actually let Billy run the match and he calls a few spots VERY loudly. It’s one of the worst I’ve ever heard as he’s got Kane in a chinlock and he calls out about the next 30 seconds of spots.

Both guys hit very nice dropkicks, with Gunn nearly clearing Kane’s head. The guy had insane ability but with all of the atrocious gimmicks and the drugs, he was just worthless so much of the time. Also being as lazy as he was didn’t help either. The problem here is simple: Gunn is dominating Kane more than Taker, the current world champion, ever did. Kane hits nothing big at all and I’m just trying to figure out what the theory is behind having Gunn dominate a former world champion.

My only guess would be having him win the whole thing for failed push number 10,000. After about five minutes of just wasting time when I could be picking flies out of a pile of dead wildebeests which would be far more interesting, Show comes down and grabs the chair from Gunn to whack Kane with it. The referee is down. Why is he down? Like we need to know something stupid like that! Gunn gets the pin.

Rating: D. Russo is just annoying. Seriously, Gunn over Kane? And it’s not like the chair changed everything. Gunn was in complete control before that. Basically they jobbed out Kane to a guy whose theme song talked about beating and kicking them. Think about that for a minute. The match was boring beyond belief too.

X-Pac, holding his neck, says that between him and Brian James tonight, may the best man win. Pac’s neck really was messed up here, but they either didn’t know that or just didn’t care, which makes things even worse.

KOTR Semi-Finals: Road Dogg vs. X-Pac

Ok, so Billy Gunn is in the finals. We have his legendary tag partner in the other semi-final. Anyone else see what the given final should be? Oh just wait. It’s Russo, so you know he’s going to screw it up. In a funny bit, Road Dogg is in the back with Cole where he says he doesn’t want to do this but he will anyway. He grabs the mic from Cole and uses it for his intro. That’s awesome to me for some reason.

Pac is clearly missing a step here and it’s because of his neck. In other words, not only are they going to mess up the freaking lay up of a final, but they’re going to put X-Pac, who is legit hurt in there and have him risk even more of an injury. And it’s a three minute match that I missed most of because I was typing.

That can’t be a good sign. Pac reversed a pumphandle slam and hit the X-Factor. He holds his neck despite it not being worked on at all, which should have been clue number 8 or so, but perish the thought of Russo using logic or caring about his workers during a match.

Rating: N/A. There’s just not enough here to go on, at least not in a three minute match. Somehow, this is the only clean finish so far tonight.

We get a recap of Rock vs. Taker, set to techo music in the opening. I wish I was making this up. Rock won a triple threat with Taker and HHH to get this shot.

WWF Title: Rock vs. Undertaker

Well at least they’re getting this right by having the ladder match in the main event since it’s the real main event of the show. Taker is in the demon gimmick here and is just a few months away from leaving for about 8 months. The Corporate Ministry was beginning to crumble here and it was very clear. Two seconds into the match Taker punches the referee and Russomania lives!

Rock gets a Rock Bottom after about 10 seconds and another referee hits the ring for two as Bearer pulls the referee out and punches him. There’s a chokeslam at 50 seconds which gets two. We go up to the entrance because it’s the late 90s and it’s required by some sort of law I think. We hear that Rock is 27 for the second time in about 5 minutes. And we’re still on the floor like we have been for about 4 minutes now.

Hey we’re in the ring now! There’s a novel idea. After Taker dominates for a good while, Rock counters by crotching Taker on the top rope. And hey we’re back in the crowd now because we haven’t done that in all of two minutes. In a funny line, Lawler asks Ross if he’s scared. “Yeah I’m scared!”. That was funny for some reason. Ok, so Rock gets a chair and swings it but Taker gets the bell to block it and Rock gets hit in the face by his own chair.

We’re about 8 minutes in and at least 5 or 6 has been on the floor. Bearer gets in a shot with a shoe. That’s kind of a downgrade from the urn wouldn’t you say? Taker keeps the advantage and uses the powers of evil to put on a chinlock. OOO that’s just EVIL! There’s a group of fans in the front section that keep trying to get in the camera shot which is very annoying. This match is just boring.

There’s nothing here that’s making me care about it at all. And the referee goes down AGAIN. And hey, since nothing of interest has happened in this match, Taker knocks Rock down and Bearer pulls out a cloth and a bottle. As soon as it’s opened, Ross says he thinks it smells like ether. Rock gets the cloth on Taker’s face. HHH comes out and before he does anything at all Ross calls him a no good lousy SOB.

Yes, the challenger allegedly has ETHER on another man’s face and HHH is evil for walking. Ross makes my head throb at times. Taker adds a tombstone to end it to massive booing. He would lose the title in less than 24 hours.

Rating: D. This was just crap. It was beyond overbooked which just makes it awful. These two have zero chemistry together and never did at all. Taker was just not doing anything at all around this time and it was clear that he was just showing up to get a paycheck and then go home. This was just stupid and the booking of it didn’t do it any favors.

Ad for WWF.com which was a new thing back then.

The announcers say that HHH could be the replacement.

Send in your cable bill and get a free WWF CD case. Again, this is something that they should do today. It’s not much, but it’s a little thank you for ordering. I really don’t think they’ll miss a Cena arm band or something like that.

In the back we see a brawl where HHH is trying to get at Shawn and a ton of security and Vince are between them. HHH is thrown out by Shawn as Vince says that HHH was his partner. He gets on a phone and says to get back here now.

King of the Ring Finals: X-Pac vs. Billy Gunn

Again I am baffled by how this could be messed up. Gunn says he’s going for X-Pac’s neck. Oh how I hate Russo’s mindless booking. You can see clearly that Pac is messed up beyond belief. But hey, we have a pointless match since we can’t have the smart match right? Billy has the tag title still and no one gets it. Pac is clearly in agony. WOW I have never heard a crowd so quiet.

Gunn has somehow turned heel here I think, but according to Russo there’s no such thing as a face or a heel so there we go. The fans are just dead as three matches from anyone is just WAY too much for one night no matter what. I can’t believe I’m saying this but I feel bad for X-Pac. He clearly has no business at all to be in there but he’s doing it anyway as he doesn’t know how bad he’s hurt.

Pac keeps kicking out and hits an X-Factor that gets two. He hits a Bronco Buster that even I won’t make fun of here. Billy hits a Fameasser off the middle rope after a weak comeback to make himself King while X-Pac is heading to a hospital and some time off to heal. There’s no coronation either.

Rating: F. No. This was just completely ridiculous on every level. One guy was clearly hurt very badly and had no business being in the ring. I can’t blame Pac at all for getting in there as any athlete is always going to want to compete and very well could have been told go out there or go find another job.

The fact that they had him out there is completely inexcusable. Also, they missed the Outlaws exploding because they would rather have a match that makes ZERO sense because that’s Russo for you. This is a great example of why the guy is hated.

LONG recap of Vince vs. Austin which was about as over the top as anything in history. In case you don’t know it, Vince terrorized his own family and had his daughter kidnapped and almost married to a demon to get the title off of Austin. He acted all serious and upset but turned out to be the mastermind behind the whole thing, which was a great swerve.

Austin was then declared the new CEO and had 50% of the power. Stephanie is very young and pre-implants here so she looks great. HHH and her were just getting together here and you can’t see anything of it yet.

Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. Steve Austin

Oh of course Shane is in it. This is a ladder match for control of the company, which is of course logical: the future of a billion dollar company and its ownership is being decided by a ladder match. Shane is announced as the replacement…for himself…making the whole thing earlier tonight about Shane being too hurt and a replacement being needed, you guessed it, COMPLETELY POINTLESS.

That should be Russo’s middle name: Vince Completely Pointless Russo. The problem with Shane being the partner is that it’s exactly what it was supposed to be in the first place, so the whole idea of having a replacement and the whole idea of having him not compete gets the crowd into it. Then that night it’s announced that it’s still him, which makes perfect sense. The partner is actually announced as Steve Blackman but GTV pops up to show that Shane is ok.

Shane and the Posse try to get out of the arena but Shawn stops him and says go to the ring. We’ll ignore the fact that Shane has 25% of the company and could just fire Shawn and appoint one of the Posse to his spot and let Blackman do his thing but whatever. Shawn brings Shane to the ring and says it’s the original match, again living up to Russo’s name.

The set is really cool as it’s a bunch of ladders holding up a canopy of ladders. It really is awesome looking. Austin’s music sets off a freaking eruption. I don’t care what anyone says: Hogan was never this hot, period. Austin would be gone for neck surgery in about six months, taking a year off to FINALLY get fixed after Owen hurt him. The Corporation is barred from ringside in case you’re wondering.

Lawler brings up the obvious point that Austin is going to dominate every one on one match here so the McMahons need to double team him. I know it’s basic, but that’s what an analyst is supposed to do. This has been all Austin to the shock of no one. Shane has a McMahon 6:32 jersey on which is kind of clever.

Shane hits a clothesline to finally change things a bit. We get a Home Improvement reference to really date the show a bit. We’re up at the entrance now and Shane climbs up into the display of ladders and Austin, ever the genius, follows him.

After knocking Shane back to the floor, he stops to throw up two fingers for the crowd. See what he did right there? He took about three seconds and got the crowd into it all over again. Any wrestling crowd will love nothing more than to be acknowledged. That is one of the few universal truths in wrestling. Look at guys like Rock, Austin, Hogan and Flair.

They’re four of the biggest names ever and every one of them gets the crowd involved in their promos and matches. Flair shouts at fans and says he’ll make women out of people’s mothers, Hogan does the hand to the ear, Austin flips them off, and Rock gets them chanting his name. They directly talk to the crowd rather than saying something about the crowd like mentioning a team, which isn’t directly at them.

See what I’m getting at here? The big stars are the ones that interact with the fans and it always works as it always will. Austin puts Vince through two of the ladders holding up the set which doesn’t fall, completely defying the laws of physics. In other words, the top of a ladder which is maybe two feet by six inches is holding up a ladder display that’s about 12 feet long.

They knock it out and the whole thing crashes down on Vince and Shane. That’s a great looking spot. Since they own the company though, they’re fine and catch Austin as he’s setting up the ladder. Who cares that they should be dead or severely injured? Austin goes airborne and puts Shane through the Spanish announce table which is one of the few classic bumps that will never die in my mind.

Vince knocks Austin onto the English table which doesn’t break at all. That has to be some kind of a joke. King’s microphone is broken. Ah he’s back. Austin now has a bad leg and stops Vince with a low blow. Austin is just beating the tar out of them now. Shane starts tapping out which is funny to me for some reason, which apparently means it’s good that he’s wearing black pants as Ross continues to just be freaking stupid.

Vince stops Austin from getting the case and the heat is great. The ladder is broken so they try to boost Shane up. Of course it doesn’t work and Austin is up. The look on his face more or less says boy are you crazy? Both guys get stunned. Ross says it’s in the book and you can see it coming.

Austin goes up and the briefcase goes up higher. This was another thing that went absolutely nowhere as the person that controlled it was never revealed. Vince gets his hands on it as Austin goes after everyone. Shane shoves both guys down and Shane goes up for the briefcase.

Austin, knowing he might get screwed, would announced tomorrow night that while still CEO he had booked a title shot the next night on Raw against Taker, which is still to this day the highest rated wrestling match in cable history, drawing an insane quarter hour of something like an 8.4.

An ad for Fully Loaded ends the show.

Rating: C-. It’s ok, but that’s all. The screwjob ending was about as much of a given as you could ask for, yet somehow this might have been the best match all night since the tag match got less than five minutes. This was just a way to make you watch Raw the next night, which is what it’s designed to do I guess.

They really should have had HHH in there acting for Vince and had the McMahons interfere instead so that the match would have been more solid. This just wasn’t that interesting as it was about 80% Austin which is exactly what was expected.

Rating: F. There is not one appealing thing about this show. The tournament is one of the worst in history, the crowd popped maybe twice, the matches are bad as there are two, count them two, clean finishes out of ten, and nothing of note happens here, since the whole Austin’s life is a living nightmare lasted a freaking day as he won the title back the next night on Raw.

This was just a freaking waste of three hours and it was somehow worse than I remember it being. Don’t watch anything here unless you’re being subjected to torture, as I think this is now the preferred method of death in 8 countries.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

 

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 21, 1998
Location: Spokane Arena, Spokane, Washington
Attendance: 9,487
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re about a month from the Rumble and there are only two shows left to go in 1998. The main story for tonight is likely going to be the debut of Test last week to end the show and what it means for the Corporation, who has all the titles of note right now. Other than that we’ll likely see the return of Austin after a one week absence which is never a bad thing. Let’s get to it.

Vince leaves and tells Shane he’s in charge tonight. Patterson and Brisco will be held responsible in case Shane screws up.

Cole calls the show an action adventure series and 15 seconds in, Lawler says in case you just joined us, Shane is in charge tonight. To be fair, today you would be expected to have a recap fifteen seconds in.

Here’s the Corporation to open things up. Shane is in charge tonight tonight because Vince is off training for the Rumble. Before Shane can get anywhere, here’s DX who says Shane may have the keys to the kingdom tonight, but DX has the keys to the boiler room. Here’s Mankind but before anything else can be said, Shane wants to talk about the Outlaws. Tonight it’s Billy vs. Shamrock (non-title) and Road Dogg vs. Boss Man (non-title as well). Also it’s Rock/Test vs. HHH/X-Pac and Shane vs. Mankind. Mankind and DX crack up. Total time to make four matches: seven and a half minutes. Takes notes modern WWE.

D’Lo tells Henry to not have sex before his match but Henry says it’s cool.

Al Snow vs. Gangrel

Snow pounds away on Gangrel and the fans want Head. A kick to Gangrel’s face puts him down and he charges into Snow’s boot to put him down again. Gangrel comes back with a neckbreaker and a floatover suplex for two. Snow puts Gangrel on the top rope but gets shoved off and a cross body gets two for Gangrel. A reverse DDT by Snow is countered but he hits the Snow Plow for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was a strange choice for an opener. It wasn’t a good match or anything and it was really basic. I’m not sure why this match was here unless there’s something post match. Snow was starting to get a reaction and the fans noticed it, which is why he got pushed a lot harder in 99. See? It’s not that complicated. Also take note, because it might be months before you see a 100% clean win on this show.

Post match the lights go out and Snow gets a blood bath. During the break Snow freaked out and said not again, not again. Normal night for Snow.

Intercontinental Title: Billy Gunn vs. Ken Shamrock

So why would Shane make this a title match? He’s in complete control and the Outlaws already beat Shamrock and Boss Man at the PPV, so why risk this? Shamrock immediately takes him down by the leg but Billy kicks Ken away. It’s a feeling out process to start but Billy takes him down with a drop toehold. The crowd is HOT tonight. The champ gets put in an armbar for a bit followed by Billy stomping away in the corner.

Shamrock takes Billy’s head off with a clothesline and it’s off to the leg as you would expect from a submissions guy like Ken. The leg goes around the post and remember that the leg was hurt in the tag match last week. After a chair is taken away from Shamrock, he goes back to strikes of all sorts to the knee. The standing rana gets two for Shamrock and a small package gets the same for Gunn. Another cradle gets two for Billy before Shamrock goes to the knee again. Ken tries a rolling leglock or something close to it, only to have Billy fall on him and hook the legs for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad at all here. Billy was a guy that had potential all the time but he never kept it going and people got tired of seeing the same stuff over and over again. Shamrock was great as a killing machine with a ton of submissions to use. You know the screwjob is coming though and here it is.

Immediately after the match here’s Shawn to say it wasn’t a title match, which makes sense in a screw you fans way. Billy moons Shawn and gets decked by Shamrock. Billy pops up and chases them away with his leg feeling fine.

Here’s Hawk with some bombs to drop apparently. Hawk admits that he has an addiction problem but now he’s clean. The surprise is that Droz was his supplier and Droz was just trying to steal Hawk’s job. Now that Hawk’s clean, Droz isn’t needed anymore. Droz comes out and jumps Hawk, who has a cast on his arm. Animal comes out for the save. This angle never clicked at all.

Henry goes into PMS’ locker room as D’Lo guards the door.

Steve Blackman vs. Blue Blazer

Blazer comes out and Owen comes out behind him. Why is this STILL going? The Blazer jumps Blackman and hits an enziguri to take over quickly. Blackman keeps going for the mask as Owen calls conspiracy last week, saying that the tape (on a live show) was doctored. Blackman makes a comeback and Owen comes in for the DQ.

Post match Goldust comes out to break up the double team. The mask is pulled off and it’s Jeff Jarrett. Ok, now no one needs to wear the mask again.

PMS (Terri and Jackie) are going to take a shower while Henry watches. Brown is getting frustrated outside.

Road Dogg vs. Big Boss Man

Road Dogg implies Boss Man and Test anally stimulate each other with nightsticks which makes Boss Man make this a title match by his own words.

Hardcore Title: Road Dogg vs. Big Boss Man

Boss Man takes over to start and whips Road Dogg into the corner and out to the floor. He takes too much time though and Roadie gets something made of metal and cracks the champ in the head to take over. A shot with the steps hit the post instead of Road Dogg but Boss Man gets in a shot with the same piece of metal from earlier to knock Road Dogg into the crowd.

Road Dogg gets thrown into the technical area and then choked by a pole of some kind. These early hardcore matches were wild messes which is the appropriate kind of match to have actually. Back to the ring and Boss Man whips Roadie with a thick belt. Boss Man pulls out some powder and gets it knocked back into his own eyes. Road Dogg whips him with the belt and it’s back into the crowd.

Boss Man finds a fan (as in one you use to cool off a room) somewhere and gets in a shot to slow Road Dogg down. Now he’s got a noose and chokes out Road Dogg for two in the middle of the crowd. A low blow from Road Dogg stops Boss Man and he puts a trashcan over the champ before diving off a wall onto him. The noose is still around Roadie’s neck though and he gets whipped into some walls with it. Here’s Mankind from the concourse with a net to tie up Boss Man. Mankind breaks something over Boss Man’s head and Road Dogg pins him for the title.

Rating: B-. That’s likely too high but I liked this a lot for some reason. It was a huge mess and that’s the idea of a hardcore match. They had to take something from the Corporation eventually just to stop the bleeding on the other side a bit. Road Dogg was very popular so giving him a title makes as much sense as anyone else. This was a fun match too.

PMS takes Henry’s clothes off before putting a studded collar on him. They give Henry a massage with a bunch of oils followed by covering his stomach with whipped cream.

We go to a commercial and come back with Jeff Jarrett ranting about women that tick him off. This would be the character that finally got people to hate him.

Back to the sex scene and we have Henry being strapped down to the table he’s on.

Bob Holly/Scorpio vs. Acolytes

The Acolytes destroy both JOB Squad guys to start and it’s Holly vs. Bradshaw to start. Scorpio comes in and things go badly for 2 Cold (Scorpio). Off to Farrooq who helps Bradshaw with a double spinebuster but Holly distracts the Acolytes long enough for Scorpio to get up and kick Farrooq down. Everything breaks down and the Acolytes beat them up so badly that the referee just calls it a DQ win for the JOB Squad.

Shane McMahon vs. Mankind

The Stooges are here with Shane and they look scared to death because of Vince saying whatever happens to Shane is their fault. Shane pops Mankind with some lefts and rights but a single shot from Mankind puts Shane down. There’s the double arm DDT but instead of covering, Mankind goes to the floor to get a chair and the mic. Shawn is holding the Corporation back on the stage. Mankind pulls the chair back but Shane falls down before Mankind can hit him. Foley hands Shane the chair and says lay him out and make Vince proud. Shane hits him with it but it has no effect. Patterson and Brisco come in and it’s thrown out.

Mankind beats up the Stooges and grabs Patterson’s crotch. Shane gets kneed in the face and here’s Socko. The Corporation and DX come out and it’s a Bronco Buster from X-Pac to Shane.

Patterson and Brisco are worried about their bonus.

Brown tries to get Henry to come out for their match but the door is locked and Henry isn’t coming out.

Mark Henry/D’Lo Brown vs. Headbangers

I wonder how many years that head swivel added to Brown’s career. We cut to the back and Henry is still tied down while Jackie whips him. He’s also ball gagged and there are testicle clamps involved. Professional wrestling ladies and gentlemen! It’s basically a handicap match and Brown gets caught by a top rope clothesline. Brown hits a Liger Bomb out of the corner on Mosh for two. Off to Thrasher who takes the Sky High for two as Lawler is getting reports of gerbils in the back. Mosh misses a middle rope elbow but the numbers keep the Bangers in control. A double flapjack pins D’Lo in short work.

Henry stumbles to the stage in underwear and with shackles around his wrists. Brown is MAD.

Vince gets back and goes to find Shane. It doesn’t seem that Vince has been watching the show.

X-Pac/HHH vs. Test/The Rock

Before the match Shawn throws out DX. Vince comes out and says let them stay. Ok then. Rock and X-Pac start things off and Pac hits a kick to the chest and an armdrag to take over. Off to HHH vs. Test with the bigger guy (Test) looking as awkward as ever (which is pretty awkward). Rock’s distraction lets Test get in a big boot to somewhere around the face for two.

Rock comes in to beat HHH down some more and test gets two off a side slam. HHH gets in a facebuster and makes the tag so things can speed up a bit. Some kicks in the corner put Test down and there’s the Bronco Buster. Test dumps Pac to the floor and things break down a bit. Pac gets crotched against the post by Rock and DX is in trouble. Back in with Rock vs. Pac and a slam sets up the Corporate Elbow for two.

HHH comes in sans tag to clothesline Rock down, only to result in X-Pac getting double teamed. Off to Test who misses a clothesline and gets his head kicked off by X-Pac. There’s the hot tag to HHH who cleans house and hits a high knee to Rock and a facebuster to Test. Everything breaks down and HHH hits the Pedigree on Test but Rock makes the save. There go the lights and here comes Kane, who is suddenly not institutionalized. He chokeslams HHH and the rest of DX. Apparently Kane is the holiday bonus for the Corporation. The match is thrown out.

Rating: C. The match was fine and given that it’s the Attitude Era, expecting a pin or submission ending in a main event is asking way too much. Test didn’t look like anything more than a taller and slower Boss Man here, so adding in Kane sort of makes him look worthless. Nothing great to see here but HHH and Pac always had some chemistry together.

Kane grabs Chyna by the throat to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show started well but the ending brings it down for me. The Hardcore Title changing was finally something going bad for the Corporation but they come back with an even bigger win in the form of Kane. Now given that it’s Kane his heel turn likely won’t make it past the end of the year, but for now it defeats a lot of the purpose of the stuff earlier tonight. Not a bad show at all, but the ending pulls it down.

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