New Column: E Pluribus New Day
These guys really are awesome, but who deserves something special?
These guys really are awesome, but who deserves something special?
Smackdown
Date: January 16, 2018
Location: Laredo Energy Arena, Laredo, Texas
Commentators: Corey Graves, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton
Please be better. The last few weeks haven’t been kind to Smackdown and I really could use a good episode to change things up a bit. The problem continues to be Daniel Bryan vs. Shane McMahon, which has dominated the show so strongly that it’s taking away from a lot of the other stories. Hopefully that starts to change tonight. Let’s get to it.
Here’s the New Day for an opening chat. Woods brings out the pancakes and stands behind a podium as all three do the tongue roll to announce Jinder Mahal’s Maharajah nickname. See, America is like a bunch of pancakes: made of flour, eggs and freedom. America is built up like Home Alone 1, 2 and 3. Big E: “Not so much with 3.” Woods talks about Jinder hating Home Alone and hating every one of you. The fans are against Jinder but the Singh Brothers come out to introduce Mahal.
US Title Tournament Semifinals: Jinder Mahal vs. Xavier Woods
The finals will now be next week instead of at the Royal Rumble. Mahal kicks him in the face to start and elbows a charging Woods in the jaw. A jumping knee gets two and we take a break. Back with Jinder holding him in a chinlock and Big E. throwing pancakes at the Singh Brothers. The fans want pancakes as Jinder forearms Woods down to the floor. Back in and a knee to the head gets two as we take a second break.
We come back again with Woods hitting a missile dropkick and winning a slugout (with those AMERICAN right hands). A discus punch drops Mahal and a Shining Wizard gets two. New Day goes after the Singh Brothers and chases the up the aisle, leaving us one on one. The top rope elbow misses though and Woods is whipped throat first into the bottom rope (kind of a dangerous move). The Khallas sends Mahal to the finals at 18:02.
Rating: D+. Well why go with the interesting choice when you can go with the boring choice? This more or less seals Roode vs. Mahal for the title next week and that’s…not the most interesting sounding match in the world. Woods’ pre-match promo was great and Mahal was every bit of Mahal you would have expected. Mahal winning was the pretty obvious choice, though certainly not the fun one.
At a house show, Baron Corbin talked about knowing he’ll win the Royal Rumble because it’s just a fight and that’s what he does best. Corbin was announced as being in the match two weeks ago.
Quick look at the media talking about Goldberg’s Hall of Fame induction.
AJ Styles dubs Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens as Kami and says he sees himself as being down 3-1 because Owens is like two people.
Carmella knows how to make history so she’ll win the Rumble.
Natalya has the catlike reflexes to win. She says Bret’s catchphrase for the second time tonight (after a Mixed Match Challenge promo).
Tamina says she’ll win.
Lana promises to make it the Ravishing Rumble.
Naomi is going to make everyone feel the Glow.
Riott knows how to create chaos and no one can stop her.
Sarah Logan isn’t running from anything.
Liv Morgan is here to make history so she’ll do it at the Rumble.
Becky Lynch promises to win. These were like the old school Rumble promos (save for the camera being hand held and a bit shaky, making them look kind of bad) and that’s a very good thing, even if most of the women didn’t have much to say.
US Title Tournament Semifinals: Bobby Roode vs. Mojo Rawley
I’m still getting used to Mojo’s new music and Jackson Pollack inspired entrance video. Roode shoves him around to start and hits the GLORIOUS pose. Back up and Mojo runs through Roode and complains at the referee for getting in his way. They head outside with Mojo hitting a long running charge to drive Roode into the barricade. We take a break and come back with Mojo putting on a pretty bad looking abdominal stretch, though he does hit Roode in the ribs a few times.
Mojo asks Roode if he’s cracked a rib before hammering at said ribs. That’s rather cruel of him. Back up and Mojo misses a charge into the post, allowing Roode to hit the Blockbuster for two. The Glorious DDT is countered into a fireman’s carry faceplant (basically an F5 without the spin) for two. The running punch in the corner is blocked with some raised boots and Roode grabs the spinebuster. Roode hits the Glorious DDT to go to the finals at 13:13.
Rating: C-. This was longer than it needed to be and there was no drama after Mahal won earlier. Roode vs. Mahal isn’t an interesting title match but that’s never stopped them before. For the life of me I’m still not sure what the point was in giving the title to Ziggler in the first place but at least they’re giving us a new champion fast enough.
Post match the Singh Brothers come in to beat on Roode but are dispatched fairly quickly. Mahal comes out to say he’ll be champion next week. Roode wants to fight now and we get the standard heel response. You know, because why would Mahal want to face a banged up Roode who just finished a long match? Daniel Bryan pops up from behind and says the finals are on TONIGHT.
Randy Orton, in a ring in an empty arena, likes to be surrounded by chaos, so the Rumble is his match.
Charlotte/Becky Lynch/Naomi vs. Riott Squad
Charlotte suplexes Morgan for two to start and does her Figure Four neck lock flips to Riott. The Squad gets sent outside and we take a break. Back with Lynch being sent into Morgan’s knees for two and Liv grabbing the hair to cut off a hot tag attempt. Becky finally dives over and brings in Naomi to speed things up. The spear cuts Logan down but Riott kicks Naomi into the one kneed Codebreaker for the pin at 8:10.
Rating: D+. Another instance of throwing the women out there with nothing interesting happening. It feels like we’ve seen this match or some combination of it for months now and that’s the big problem with this division: almost no one gets to stand out to the point where I can’t even remember that Charlotte is Women’s Champion more often than not. I know the Rumble is what matters but if I don’t care about the characters, it really doesn’t make much of a difference.
The Usos think Chad Gable and Shelton Benjamin got together on Tag Team Tinder. They can’t remember which Uso is which though and get beaten down by Gable and Benjamin. Chad knows who they are: the former champions.
Long video on AJ Styles vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens.
Shinsuke Nakamura says he’ll win. Is there a reason none of the big wrestlers are actually here tonight?
Next week: Rusev Day vs. Ascension.
US Title: Bobby Roode vs. Jinder Mahal
The title is vacant coming in, Roode’s ribs are banged up, there are no Singh Brothers and Shane McMahon/Daniel Bryan are at ringside. Feeling out process to start with Mahal’s cheap shot to the ribs being cut off. They head outside with Mahal driving the bad ribs into the barricade and getting in a few more shots as we take a break.
Back with Mahal bending the ribs around the post and then slapping on an abdominal stretch (take notes Mojo). Some knees to the ribs keep Roode down and Mahal puts a knee in the back. You can’t fault the psychology here but you can fault the fans being dead bored after this lame show.
Roode gets two off a sunset flip but a superkick gives Mahal the same to keep him in control. Bobby finally sends him outside for a clothesline from the apron as the crowd is just gone here. Back in and Mahal rolls through a high crossbody for two of his own, followed by a Blockbuster for the same. Roode’s spinebuster plants Mahal again and the Khallas is reversed into the Glorious DDT to make Roode the champion at 15:44.
Rating: C. This was as exciting as Mahal working the ribs for about thirteen minutes was going to be. Roode winning was the only way they could go here with the story they were telling though and it’s nice to see Mahal fall further down the card. This win gives Roode a big marquee thing on his resume, though you can probably pencil him in for a defense against Ziggler at the Rumble. The match was watchable, but they had killed the show a long time before.
The bosses present Roode with the title to end the show.
Overall Rating: D-. Oh just no in every sense of the word. This was a great illustration of everything wrong with Smackdown as of late, with the focus completely missing and no reason to watch. You think the low attendances of late might have been bolstered by guaranteeing you get to see a new champion? Not happening here of course, because we need to do something like this instead with almost no big name talent appearing instead.
This show felt like they weren’t trying at all, presumably (and hopefully) because Smackdown was having another show somewhere else. Even if that’s the case though, there needs to be some kind of effort put into these shows. This came off like the C level house shows of the 80s with anything they could come up with thrown out there to fill in a night. I stopped caring very quickly into this one and that’s not good when it’s supposed to be a big time for the company.
Results
Jinder Mahal b. Xavier Woods – Khallas
Bobby Roode b. Mojo Rawley – Glorious DDT
Riott Squad b. Charlotte/Becky Lynch/Naomi – Codebreaker to Naomi
Bobby Roode b. Jinder Mahal – Glorious DDT
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….please tell me Big Cass won’t have company.After last week’s injury to Big Cass, two more names have suffered knee injuries and we already have a diagnosis on one.
First up is the one which doesn’t seem to be as bad. Samoa Joe was injured at a house show against John Cena and will be out a minimum of four weeks. Odds are he’ll be out of No Mercy but that’s not confirmed yet.
https://wrestlingrumors.net/samoa-joe-suffers-knee-injury-long-will/
Then we have what might be the really bad one as Xavier Woods suffered a bad knee injury at a house show. Woods was going for a jumping DDT and got shoved off with his knee buckling on the landing. There is no word on how long he might be out but any time you hear the words “knee buckled”, it’s a really bad sign.
https://wrestlingrumors.net/xavier-woods-suffers-knee-injury-house-show/
And something I don’t understand.
For reasons that I absolutely cannot fathom, this seems to have been changed to just a match instead of a title match. The only possible reason for this would be the League going over and since that might be the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard, it’s probably what we’re going to be seeing.
New Day is on such a roll right now that they deserve a major win on a major stage to continue their long title reign. The League is in the midcard spot that they belonged in and were destined to reach as soon as they formed. There was no reason to turn this into a title match and then make it a regular match but somehow that seems to be where we are. Oh and how amazing is New Day’s entrance going to be? Just think about that for a second. New Day’s entrance at Wrestlemania in front of 100,000 people. How is that not going to be one of the coolest things ever?
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Subtitle: Chris Masters Should Have Been A Unicorn.
http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-its-a-new-way-yes-it-is/45399/
Smackdown
Date: June 18, 2015
Location: First Niagara Center, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Jerry Lawler
The ending of Monday’s show saw the return of Brock Lesnar as the Authority’s big surprise to deal with Rollins, ignoring the history of Lesnar hurting HHH and then Stephanie freaking out on him the night after Wrestlemania when Lesnar destroyed everything and injured Cole, which hasn’t been mentioned on TV yet. Let’s get to it.
In memory of Dusty Rhodes.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Sheamus to get things going. Sheamus holds up the briefcase and laughs at the fans for saying he looked stupid. He feels like a million dollars and promises to be the next WWE Champion. I know it’s not a popular opinion but I wouldn’t be opposed to that. Sheamus has been making plans to get around Seth Rollins and Brock Lesnar, which would leave everyone out of his way to make him champion.
This brings out Dean Ambrose to remind Sheamus that he pinned him on Monday. Why should that matter? Money in the Bank is a shortcut around silly things like wins and losses and just lets the company put whomever they want in the title scene without putting in the effort. Anyway, Ambrose says the briefcase belongs to Reigns and Dean would have no problem getting it back to its rightful owner. Sheamus wants to fight right now but Kane comes out to uneven the odds. The match is on.
Kane/Sheamus vs. Dean Ambrose
Dean is smart enough to drop to the floor at the bell before he runs back in to low bridge Kane outside. The top rope elbow is broken up though and the double teaming begins. Reigns sneaks in from behind, because somehow he knew Sheamus would be waiting in the normal spot, for the DQ at 1:29.
After a break, the tag team main event is announced.
Roman wants Bray to know he never runs.
Brie Bella vs. Paige
Paige gets a jobber entrance but we’re lucky enough to get BRIE MODE. No Nikki here for a change. Brie goes after her to start but Paige drops down as you do when someone is running the ropes, only to have Brie trip over her. Paige’s superplex is countered into a sunset bomb (good looking one too) for two as we take a break. Back with Brie putting on a chinlock with her knees in Paige’s back before Paige takes her into the corner for some elbows to the jaw. Paige goes up top but Alicia Fox runs out to shove her down, setting up the Bella Buster for the pin and another BRIE MODE at 7:28.
Rating: C. Considering Brie was in there and can’t seem to handle running the ropes, this was better than I was expecting. There’s something interesting about the Divas going after Paige and her needing reinforcements (say from NXT?) and at least Alicia is 14% more competent than most of the other Divas.
The Bellas pose on the stage and Alicia is given Bella gear.
Stills of Cena vs. Owens II and then Owens attacking Machine Gun Kelly on Monday.
Owens mocks Renee Young for possibly being a Machine Gun Kelly fan but blames Kelly for putting his hands on Owens first and on Cena for not being there to save him. Kevin doesn’t need to pander to the crowd and likes it when people earn title shots, meaning there will be no open challenge. This brings in Cesaro, with headphones around his neck, who would love to get in the ring with Owens tonight. He even puts him hands on Owens’ shoulder to make sure Owens gets the point.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Bo Dallas
Before the match, Dallas calls Lana a rebound girl. She’s broken Rusev’s heart and is now with Ziggler, who definitely should have made her swipe left (online dating thing I guess). Ziggler dropkicks him at the bell but Bo grabs a cravate. Rusev is watching in the back as Ziggler ducks a right hand and hits the Zig Zag for the pin at 1:12.
Rusev freaks out over a post match kiss.
Tough Enough stuff.
Xavier Woods vs. Neville
Woods takes over fast and stomps Neville about 20 times in a row. We’re already in the cobra clutch for a bit before New Day tries to get involved, drawing out the Prime Time Players to even the odds. Back in and a kick to the head looks to set up the Red Arrow but Kofi offers a distraction to break it up. Everyone on the floor gets into it and a dropkick sets up the Red Arrow to give Neville the pin at 2:57. I’m getting into this six man feud.
Here’s Seth Rollins with something to say. After looking at a clip of the end of Raw, Rollins brags about being the biggest star in WWE. However, he’s under constant scrutiny and always being disrespected by these fans. That’s what happened this Monday on Raw, as people are instantly thinking Lesnar will be the next WWE Champion. Rollins was shocked when he saw Brock but at Battleground, he’s going to get to prove that he really is the diamond and he can’t wait.
We recap Bray’s promo on Reigns from Raw.
Ambrose asks Reigns how long it takes Sheamus to do his hair but Reigns is focused on Wyatt. Dean asks about Bray but Reigns doesn’t want to talk about it. Just handle business tonight so he can get home to his family.
Kevin Owens vs. Cesaro
Non-title and Owens pops Cesaro in the jaw to start. Cesaro does just the same to knock Kevin outside for a suicide dive. Back in and Cesaro can’t get him up for a suplex so Owens sends him face first into the post as we take an early break from a promising power brawl. We come back to a chinlock of course because how else do you expect to come back from a break? Owens finds it boring as well as he jumps to the middle rope and spins into a tornado DDT for two.
Cesaro comes back with his reverse Angle Slam for two of his own. That earns him snake eyes (a move that hasn’t been seen in a while) and the Cannonball for two, shocking Owens, because he’s a good heel who can’t believe that someone could kick out of any of his offense. A dropkick knocks Owens off the top and both guys are down again. Is there anything Cesaro can’t do? I’d bet he’s a world class knitter. Owens crotches him to break up the apron superplex and the Pop Up Powerbomb is good for the pin at 10:38.
Rating: B. Owens continues to master the power brawling style and hopefully this leads to a singles push for Cesaro. The guy is incredibly talented and the multiple languages should get WWE some international help if they let him go to some other countries for publicity. This was a fun, hard hitting match though as both guys got to throw each other around, which is always entertaining.
Time for Miz at the Movies where he talks about all the movies starring wrestlers this year. Tonight’s movie: Vendetta, starring Dean Cain and Big Show. Apparently Big Show was a jerk and Miz should have had the role, as well as the Intercontinental Title. Miz rants about his resume and wants to know why he isn’t being treated like a superstar.
Dusty Rhodes tribute video.
Sheamus/Kane vs. Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns
Ambrose and Sheamus get things going with the latter stomping away in the corner. Dean comes back with chops and punches as they’ve forgotten the whole wrestling thing so far. Everything breaks down for a bit and the Shield brethren clean house to take us to the early break. Back with Dean hitting the dropkick against the ropes on Kane but Sheamus pulls him outside to take over.
Some knees get two for Sheamus back inside and it’s off to Kane to work on the knee that was destroyed in the ladder match. Smart man that old giant. Sheamus slaps on a Brock Lock for a bit before it’s back to Kane, who gently lifts Dean throat first into the bottom rope. It’s called a catapult but that’s being more generous than it is to call Kane interesting. Dean gets in some right hands and the top rope elbow, finally allowing for the hot tag despite the bad knee.
Reigns comes in off the hot tag and cleans house with a series of clotheslines to Kane and a Samoan drop to Sheamus. The Superman Punch is broken up by Kane grabbing both Shield guys by the throat but the rebound lariat breaks it up. Dean dives on Sheamus but here’s Wyatt with the picture of Reigns and his daughter as he sings I’m A Little Teapot. The distraction lets a Brogue Kick connect for the pin on Reigns at 12:57.
Rating: C. This was fine for a long way to build up the Reigns vs. Wyatt story. There was little chance that Wyatt wasn’t going to get involved somewhere in here and that wasn’t the worst way in the world. I could go for a more sinister Wyatt who gets inside your head instead of just saying he’s scary of whatever he meant in the last few months.
Bray says Happy Father’s Day and the picture is next to Reigns to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. I liked this better than I was expecting to as they gave us a good match with Owens vs. Cesaro (no real surprise there) and nothing bad. That’s a major key to a good show these days, especially with so much stuff packed in: nothing on here was really bad. Some stuff was better than others, but everything was either quick enough to not be bad or good enough to be acceptable. Solid show this week and it went by fast.
Results
Kane/Sheamus b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Roman Reigns interfered
Brie Bella b. Paige – Bella Buster
Dolph Ziggler b. Bo Dallas – Zig Zag
Neville b. Xavier Woods – Red Arrow
Kevin Owens b. Cesaro – Pop Up Powerbomb
Kane/Sheamus b. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose – Brogue Kick to Reigns
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I finally sat down and watched the E:60 documentary on WWE and I’m not entirely sure what I think of it. Therefore, it’s time to ramble until I find a conclusion.
First of all, I certainly liked it. They had an interesting take by going with people who weren’t the best known, but the more I thought about it, the more that makes sense. How would a Sami Zayn section have gone here? “My name is Sami Zayn and I was one of the top independent wrestlers in the world. Now I’m headlining NXT while I wait for the inevitable call up where I’ll blow the doors off the main roster.” That’s not exactly a thrilling piece.
This show was much more for people who haven’t seen NXT and aren’t familiar with it, as they don’t mention the fact that of the three guys, Woods is by far the biggest star and he’s really nothing special. That’s the right call though as you can only get so invested in people who are lower level talent.
That being said, it’s a very entertaining look at some of what happens when the cameras aren’t on. I know we can recite what happens in every match, but a lot of the time we forget what happens when the cameras aren’t on. It’s a good look at what happens behind the curtain (I see what they did there), which isn’t something we get very often. I would have loved for this to be longer, but what we got was really fun. Check out the deleted scenes about Colin Cassady and Tyler Breeze too as they’re both entertaining.
….and it’s bad.They’re called Speed Force.
Speed Force.
They’re had like six weeks and they came up with SPEED FORCE?
Of Domination?
As you might have seen on Raw, it seems that we’re getting a new Black Power stable with Xavier Woods as the Malcolm X character, leading Big E. and Kofi with possibly Titus O’Neil and Mark Henry joining. THis is an idea I’ve heard batted around forever and in this case, why not do it? It’s not like any of these guys are lighting the world on fire otherwise, so why not give them something to do? The last team was around like 15 years ago so it’s not like it’s a fresh idea.
NXT
Date: June 26, 2014
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Rich Brennan, Renee Young, Alex Riley
NXT is coming in off a bad show which isn’t something I have to say all that often. Last week’s show was pretty boring with Tyler Breeze having one of the least interesting matches I’ve ever seen from the promotion and the main event being an angle instead of a match. Things down here have a habit of turning around quickly though so let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
T. Perkins/Matt Sugarman vs. Vaudevillians
The Vaudevillians are introduced at a combined height of 12’7. Renee says Sugarman is a Bastion Booger fan because that’s how awesome she is. Gotch takes Sugarman down with an armbar before putting on a headscissors so he can do clap pushups. A slam puts Sugerman down and the top rope Swanton (That’s A Wrap) from English gets the pin at 2:45.
We recap the main event from last week. Zayn says Tyson is a weird kind of cat because he never learned how to lose. They’ll be hearing from each other again.
Xavier Woods vs. Bull Dempsey
CJ Parker’s crusade in the crowd continues. Dempsey gets a full entrance and has a theme song with the word BULL being shouted over and over. Dempsey grabs a headlock to start and hammers Woods down with pure power. A headbutt gets two before Dempsey just drills Woods with forearms to the chest. Dempsey is in a short singlet, earning him a PUT SOME PANTS ON chant from the lively crowd. Woods fights out of a chinlock with a jawbreaker but jumps into a right hand to the face. A sitout slam (the Bulldozer) gets Bull the pin at 4:40.
Rating: D+. Total squash here and Dempsey looked good the whole way. There’s nothing wrong with a powerful brute like this and the match worked well. His music is really catchy too and was stuck in my head the entire time. That’s a good sign as it’s just his name over and over, set to music.
Bull says the children have run NXT for too long and he’s the last of a dying breed.
Summer Rae vs. Becky Lynch
Becky is an Irish redhead in green. The fans chant for her to start and Lynch does a jig. Becky takes her down with an armbar but she gets kicked in the face for two. Charlotte tries to interfere but Summer shouts that it’s her match, allowing Lynch to get a VERY close two off a rollup. Lynch hits three straight legdrops for two followed by a capture suplex for the pin at 2:59.
Sawyer Fulton vs. Colin Cassady
They circle each other for a bit as the announcers hype Cassady up as a future NXT Champion. Fulton shoves Cassady to start but walks into a big boot and the S-A-W-F-T Elbow gets the pin at 1:26.
The Legionnaires come out to go after Colin but Enzo Amore runs out for the save. Catchphrases are spoken.
Adrian Neville vs. Rob Van Dam
Tyler Breeze is on commentary. Non-title and set up as RVD wanted to face the best NXT had to offer. Neville takes over with a headscissors on the mat and an armdrag sends Van Dam out to the floor. Back in and a rollup gets two for Adrian as Renee says Van Dam is Neville’s idol. Van Dam kicks Adrian to the floor and nails a shot off the apron to put both guys down. Adrian is back up first for a big moonsault to take Rob down again.
We take a break and come back with Adrian holding a front facelock but getting caught in an atomic drop. Renee asks Tyler about a potential full length album but Breeze says his one hit will last for awhile. Van Dam kicks Neville in the face and does it again in the corner. Neville’s sunset flip is countered for two and he gets tied up in the Tree of Woe. A running kick to the ribs has Neville in even more trouble but he escapes a German suplex.
Adrian’s springboard clothesline gets two on Van Dam but he comes back with a jawbreaker. The split legged moonsault only hits mat and a small package gets two for the champion. Van Dam throws Adrian into the air for a kick to the chest to take over again. The Five Star misses though and Neville comes back with a running DDT, followed by the Red Arrow for the pin at 13:56 shown of 16:26.
Rating: C+. There was a nice story here with Neville knowing Van Dam so well due to being a fan for so many years. I’m not the biggest Van Dam fan in the world but it’s nice to see him putting people over clean like this. I expected Van Dam to get the pin so this was a very nice surprise.
They shake hands post match and the announcers don’t treat this like a big upset.
Overall Rating: C+. And of course NXT bounces back with a good show this week. This was about bringing in some new stars and giving some new people pushes, which is necessary when WWE brings people up so often. Neville is reaching a point where losing the title is going to be a big deal and that’s a very good thing. Solid show this week.
Results
Vaudevillians b. T. Perkins/Matt Sugarman – That’s A Wrap to Sugerman
Bull Dempsey b. Xavier Woods – Bulldozer
Becky Lynch b. Summer Rae – Capture suplex
Colin Cassady b. Sawyer Fulton – S-A-W-F-T Elbow
Adrian Neville b. Rob Van Dam – Red Arrow
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