Survivor Series Count-Up – 1993: The Bad Times

Survivor Series 1993
Date: November 24, 1993
Location: Boston Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 15,509
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

This really is a transitional time for the company as the major stars of the past are all out of the picture, save for the occasional appearance by Savage. Bret is one of the top stars in the company but is taking a back seat to the more muscular and arguably more marketable Lex Luger. Hart’s time would come though. Let’s get to it.

Vince and Bobby talk a little bit about the concept and we’re ready to go.

Team IRS vs. Team Razor Ramon

IRS, Adam Bomb, Diesel, Rick Martel

Razor Ramon, 1-2-3 Kid, Marty Jannetty, Mr. Perfect

IRS and Ramon are feuding over the now face Razor’s Intercontinental Title, Martel was the guy Ramon beat for the title, Diesel (a big man and Shawn Michaels’ bodyguard) and Adam Bomb (a good sized power man) are just there to fill in spots, Jannetty and Kid (a rookie who shocked the world earlier in the year by beating Ramon on Raw) are a semi-regular tag team and Perfect….isn’t here.

Ramon talks about Perfect leaving (his back messed up again and he just kind of left for five months) but he’s got a treat for us. Razor has a surprise partner and it’s……RANDY SAVAGE! Heenan LOSES IT and the crowd does right along with him. This is when Savage wanted to murder Crush, who is in the main event tonight. Savage and Crush had been friends but Crush had turned on him and beaten Savage up, over Savage not visiting Crush when he was injured.

Heenan apparently called Perfect no showing this and Vince says Heenan was right for once. Bobby: “FOR ONCE???” Ramon and Martel start things off with Rick working on the arm. They fight for the arm and hit the mat for a bit before popping back up. Razor slaps him in the face and rolls through a cross body for two. Martel gets caught in the fall away slam (BIG pop for that) for two.

Razor hits a pair of atomic drops and a clothesline for two. Off to Adam Bomb who shoves Ramon into the corner with ease. They collide and Razor is knocked down in a bit of a surprise. They have a test of strength with Bomb controlling again before Ramon fights up and suplexes Bomb down.

Martel tries to save but elbows Bomb by mistake. Harvey Wippleman (Bomb’s manager) gets up on the apron and is knocked down, causing a big fight between IRS’ team. Ramon’s team uses common sense and lets them fight. I’ve never gotten why anyone would interfere when their opponents are doing damage to themselves. We get things settled down and it’s the Kid vs. Bomb. Kid tries a sunset flip and Bomb (about 6’8 and 300lbs) has little problem countering.

Off to Diesel who throws Kid around even harder. I’m not sure why they keep putting Kid in there against these monsters. A gutwrench powerbomb from Diesel leaves Kid laying and a big boot does the same. Kid finally hits a spin kick and it’s off to Savage who destroys the entire team, including sending Bomb into Diesel. A slam puts Diesel down and the flying elbow makes it 4-3.

Martel charges in and rams Savage face first into the buckle. Since it’s 1993, Martel’s offense has almost no effect and Savage takes over. Off to IRS who has a bit better luck as he takes Savage into the corner but gets cross bodied for two. Back to Ramon who works on the arm but as he hits the ropes, Martel hits Razor in the back to slow the Bad Guy (Razor’s nickname) down.

Bomb comes back in to power Razor around a bit but it’s quickly back to IRS who works on Razor’s back. We hit the chinlock and the heels switch a few times without tagging. Villains. Off to Macho Man again who knees IRS into the corner. A slam looks to set up the elbow but here comes Crush. Savage sees him and immediately goes after him but is sent back into the ring and rolled up by IRS for the pin and elimination.

Savage chases Crush into the back and looks for him in the locker rooms as the match is still going on. Savage doesn’t find him so we’ll continue this game later. We come back to the ring to see Bomb choking away on Jannetty and stomping him in the corner. Martel hooks an abdominal stretch for a few seconds but a corner charge hits the post and it’s back to Ramon.

Razor pounds away on IRS and hits a chokeslam followed by the Razor’s Edge for the pin and the 3-2 advantage. Everything breaks down and as Razor loads up the Edge on Martel, IRS hits him in the ribs with his briefcase. Ramon rolls to the floor and gets counted out to tie things up again. So it’s Jannetty/1-2-3 Kid vs. Martel/Bomb. The Kid gets sent to the floor and slammed down by Bomb who hits a slingshot clothesline to take the Kid down back inside.

Off to Martel as the Kid is in a lot of trouble. Martel drops some knees on the back for two as Vince says the Kid has a lot of heart. Heenan: “THEN KICK HIM IN THE HEART!” Martel jumps into a right hand to the ribs and there’s the tag to Jannetty who cleans house. Back to the Kid way too soon for a double back elbow and a sunset flip to eliminate Martel. Kid immediately tags in Jannetty who sunset flips Bomb for the pin ten seconds after Martel was eliminated. REALLY hot ending here.

Rating: B. I really liked this match as it was fast paced and a ton of fun. If you cut about five minutes from this, it’s a classic. Having Jannetty and the Kid be the survivors was a very nice surprise and it gave the fans something to cheer for. I really liked this one and it puts the show off on the right foot.

Shawn is in the back with the Intercontinental Title. There are two belts at this point as Shawn was suspended while champion but he kept the belt. That gives us two belts which presents a problem. Maybe we should put them above the ring and make the guys climb a ladder to get them while having one of the best matches ever. Anyway tonight it’s Shawn and his Knights vs. the Hart Family.

We go to a Hart Family interview earlier with Family Feud (game show) host Ray Combs. They all say that Shawn is in trouble for going after Stu recently and it’s going to be a massive Hart Attack.

Back to Shawn who says he’s not ready for the Harts and he makes fun of all five of them, including Stu. Shawn is really clicking as the insanely arrogant heel by this point.

Jannetty and Kid celebrate with Ramon. Savage is off chasing Crush.

Combs is in the ring to talk about the Hart Family being at ringside. Pay attention because it’s amazing enough to have them all in the same place without suing or trying to kill each other. Combs gets in some jokes about Shawn which aren’t really funny but this is filler stuff anyway. Vince of course laughs like there’s no tomorrow.

Hart Family vs. Shawn Michaels/Knights

Bret Hart, Keith Hart, Bruce Hart, Owen Hart

Shawn Michaels, Blue Knight, Black Knight, Red Knight

The Blue Knight is Greg Valentine, the Red Knight is Barry Horowitz and the Black Knight is Jeff Gaylord (indy guy who never meant anything on a national stage). Stu Hart is here with his sons as if there was somehow any doubt as to who was getting destroyed. Ray Combs sits in on commentary and while he’s not incredibly funny, he sounds like he’s having a blast out there and is enjoying himself which is all I ask for from a celebrity. Heenan vs. Combs on commentary is a good back and forth jab fest if nothing else.

Shawn and Owen start but Shawn wants Keith, who along with Bruce haven’t wrestled in years. Keith speeds things up and Shawn gets sent into the interfering Red Knight. Shawn tries to throw Keith into the corner but Keith takes out Red and Blue. An armdrag takes Shawn down and it’s Keith with an armbar. Shawn’s suplex attempt is countered into a small package and it’s back to the armbar.

Michaels slams Keith down and it’s off to the Red Knight vs. Owen. Owen fires off some shots to the arm and it’s off to the Black Knight. That goes nowhere at all so let’s try Bret vs. Blue. Bret hits some atomic drops and a clothesline for two. Back to Keith who continues the armbar marathon and it’s Bruce time again. Off to Shawn with a backbreaker and some elbows to the back.

Red comes in and suplexes Bruce down for two. Back to Black who is the biggest of the Knights and gets rolled up for two. It’s back to Shawn who gets rammed into the corner before Red pokes Bruce in the head. Bruce hits a clothesline and it’s off to Bret vs. Black. An O’Connor Roll and small package get two each for Bret as he takes over. The backbreaker and middle rope elbow get two and it’s off to Owen.

A spinwheel kick drops Black and everything breaks down. Shawn and all three Knights get sent into each other in the middle of the ring and a missile dropkick from Owen pins Black. Off to the Red but Owen works over his leg. Back to Bret and who helps make a wish on Red’s legs. Keith comes in again and the leg work continues.

Red tries a knee lift and hurts his own knee in the process. Some fans chant boring and they’re right in doing so. Back to Bruce who pops Red in the face. The Hitman comes in and we get another wishbone split. Red sends Keith into the buckle to escape a figure four attempt but misses a knee drop instead of tagging. Keith puts on a Figure Four but Shawn makes the save and it’s off to Blue. Those boring chants are getting a little bit louder.

Blue works over Keith’s arm and it’s off to Shawn with a top rope double ax to the arm. The shoulder gets sent into the buckle and Shawn cranks on the bad arm. Back to Red whose leg seems fine now. Rey cranks on the arm around the post which results in more double teaming. Heenan has been ripping the Harts apart the entire match, including a nice jab here: “None of them look alike.” Keep in mind this is as Keith is having his arm destroyed.

Blue stays on the arm including dropping a leg, followed by a hammerlock slam. Off to Shawn who misses a Rocket Launcher, allowing the tag to Bret, prompting Shawn to tag out to Red. Red immediately gets caught in a spinebuster and the Sharpshooter to make it 4-2. Blue comes in to clothesline Bret and both he and Keith are now hurt. Bret is thrown back in and suplexed down for two.

Blue drops a very Greg Valentine elbow and Heenan says he knows who the Blue Knight is. Vince: “Who is that?” Bobby: “The guy in the ring that just dropped an elbow on Bret Hart.” I love you Bobby Heenan. Back to Shawn for a chinlock to kill even more time. I’m not sure how much there is of it left as this has been going long already. Blue comes in for another two off another elbow as Bobby lays into Helen Hart.

Bret hits a middle rope clothesline and he makes the tag to Owen. The crowd just does not care here and the lack of any reaction is kind of sad. A middle rope elbow gets two on Blue and Bruce and Shawn come in at the same time. Shawn goes to the floor and goes after Stu, only to get BLASTED IN THE FACE. Bobby: “I’ve always liked Stu.” A missile dropkick puts Blue down and Shawn’s saving elbow hits Blue as well. Shawn is sent to the floor and the Sharpshooter eliminates Blue.

It’s 4-1 and Shawn is drinking water. All four of the Harts hammer on Shawn and it’s Bruce who gets two off an elbow drop. Bruce charges into a boot and Shawn chokes away a bit. The superkick, still not a finisher, gets two on Bruce. Bruce gets in a boot and makes the tag to Bret to a small reaction. Bret hits a slingshot to the buckle for two. Shawn gets in a kick and it’s off to Owen.

Now here’s where it gets interesting: Bret is trying to get it together on the apron and Owen is rammed into Bret, knocking him off the apron and into the barricade. Owen is distracted by the mistake, allowing Shawn to roll him up for the pin. All of the Harts go to check on Bret and Owen FREAKS, storming to the back and shouting WHAT ABOUT ME! This would start the feud of the year in 1994.

Bruce comes in and drops an elbow on Shawn for two. Bret is still getting up after the crash he took into the barricade. Bruce and Shawn hit head to head twice in a row to really stretch this thing out. Keith comes in with an abdominal stretch (including the toe around the ankle) but Shawn hip tosses out of it with ease. Back to Bret who pounds away and crotches Shawn on the top rope. Bret picks the leg but Shawn escapes the Sharpshooter and walks out for the countout.

Rating: D. This was…….long. At the end of the day it ran 30 minutes when it should have been about 15. The only thing that mattered here was Owen and the future angle vs. Bret. Shawn being in there didn’t help much, but it needed to be Jerry Lawler and without him this didn’t mean anything of note. Not a good match and the length hurt it a lot. They were against things they couldn’t really help here and that’s what brought it down a lot.

Owen comes back and gets in Bret’s face during the celebration. Stu tries to calm Owen down but Owen rants about getting no recognition and celebrates in the ring on his own. Helen, the matriarch in the audience, loses it as well.

Gorilla and JR are going to do commentary on the next match as Heenan and Vince are going to do Radio WWF, an idea which didn’t last long. During the change over, Gorilla threatens to kill Heenan as was his trademark at this point.

We recap the Foreign Fanatics vs. the All Americans. Ludvig Borga hit Tatanka with a chair and pinned him with one finger, breaking Tatanka’s two year undefeated streak. Tatanka then got beaten up by Yokozuna. This led to the Steiners and Luger picking a new partner in the Undertaker. This led to an awesome moment with Undertaker opening his coat and having an American Flag inside of it (with 13 stars for some reason). Luger then beat up Quebecer Pierre in a singles match to put him out of the pay per view. The Fanatics added the EVIL FOREIGN Hawaiian Crush.

Here’s Jim Cornette to introduce his team for a very out there match.

Smokey Mountain Wrestling Tag Titles: Heavenly Bodies vs. Rock N Roll Express

This is part of an agreement the companies had at the time which didn’t work that well. The Express (Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson, a legendary team from the 80s) are the champions and they’re defending against Tom Prichard and Jimmy Del Ray. It’s a brawl to start with the Express being sent to the floor. Gibson is pulled back in but Morton pulls both of the Bodies out to the floor. Ricky follows that up with a suicide dive to take both of them out at the same time.

Things slow down and we start with Gibson vs. Del Ray. They’re going to go very fast in this match and that’s exactly how it starts with Gibson flipping out of the corner and hitting a headscissor takeover before bringing in Morton. Prichard comes in and gets booed louder than all of the Knights in the previous match combined. Morton can’t quite get above Prichard on a leapfrog and he ducks a Del Ray superkick which takes Prichard down instead.

Both Bodies get monkey flipped out of the corner and we get the always dumb looking rowboat spot, where all four of the heels’ legs are rotated around by the good guys. Gibson works on Prichard’s leg and the Express take out Del Ray in the corner before Morton works on Prichard’s leg as well. Tom finally gets in a shot and it’s off to Del Ray who is immediately armdragged down.

In a nice move, Gibson blocks the buckle before Morton’s back hits it to prevent the Bodies from getting the advantage. It’s been all Express other than the first fifteen seconds. The Bodies have a quick huddle on the floor and the fans are bored. It’s Prichard vs. Morton now with the heels taking over for the first time since the beginning. Off to Del Ray who is suplexed down onto Morton for two.

Back to Prichard for some more choking. There wasn’t a tag but that’s why the Bodies are heels. Del Ray hits an Asai Moonsault to the floor and it’s back to Prichard in the ring who hits a powerslam for two. Off to a chinlock as this match is turning into an old school tag match of the NWA style. A Trash Compactor (a kind of spinebuster/guillotine legdrop combo) gets two but Del Ray’s powerbomb is countered into a hurricanrana for two. Ricky hooks a small package for another two and Del Ray hits a moonsault press on Morton for ANOTHER two. This is why it’s called Playing Ricky Morton. The guy was a master at it.

A double DDT puts the Bodies down and Morton rolls over to make the tag to Gibson. Now we get to the point of the match: Prichard throws Morton over the top, which is a DQ in SMW but this is in the WWF. Gibson gets confused and decked for his confusion as Morton gets beaten down even more. There’s the double dropkick to Prichard but it only gets two. Del Ray comes off the top with a tennis racket (Cornette signature) shot to Gibson for the pin and the titles.

Rating: B-. This was a strange match as from a technical standpoint it was quite good and in SMW it would have been the main event of a big show, but we’re not in SMW. We’re in the WWF here and these people don’t mean anything. There’s a deep history here of a ton of matches with various gimmicks to them, making this a huge feud. The problem is all we’re told is they’ve been feuding for years. It’s the same issue you have with Japanese or other foreign wrestlers: just being told how great they are doesn’t mean anything to most fans. We need to see these things, not be told about them.

Team Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Four Doinks

Bam Bam Bigelow, Bastion Booger, Headshrinkers

Bushwhackers, Men on a Mission

Ok. I can get through this. The Doinks are all dressed like a clown and their identities were secret until they were unveiled here. Luke comes out on a scooter, Butch has a wagon, the Men on a Mission come out on foot. Mabel needs the exercise so that’s a good idea. Notice that there’s no actual Doink in the match and the fans aren’t going to be pleased here.

A LOUD We Want Doink chant starts up and Bastion and Luke start things off. Booger is a VERY fat guy in a too small singlet in case you’re not familiar with him. Luke bites him on the ample singlet before stomping on Bastion’s foot. Afa bites Butch’s balloon and it’s off to Samu. Then he bites a water balloon and gets rolled up by Luke for the pin. Fatu comes in and Luke hurts his own head off a headbutt attempt.

Booger comes in and drops a leg on Luke and it’s off to Bigelow with a headbutt to the ribs. It’s back to Booger who sits on Luke before stopping for a banana. Another drop by Bastion misses and the Battering Ram puts him down. Mabel drops a leg on Bastion and it’s 4-2. Fatu comes in to offer meat to Luke and takes over, but here’s Mo on a scooter for a ride around the ring. Bigelow comes in and destroys the scooter and Fatu hits the top rope splash….and stops for a banana.

Butch comes in with a bucket of something….scratch that as there’s nothing in it, but Fatu slips on a banana peel as he jumps from it and Butch rolls him up for the pin. Bigelow is all that’s left and he gets to fight Mabel. Bam Bam can’t do anything to the power of fat but Mabel misses a splash. The other Doinks come in and get beaten up also but Butch throws something on Luna. Mabel splashes Bigelow and a dog pile (which is allowed) gets the pin.

Rating: F. For failure, which is one of the few words to describe how bad this was. I am in awe. We had falls from a water balloon, a banana peel and a bucket of something being thrown on Luna. On top of all that, Doink, the point of the whole thing, wasn’t even in the match despite it being a character that could be played by almost anyone.

As Bigelow is leaving, Doink (whose performer has recently changed) pops up on screen to laugh at Bam Bam. The next step in this feud: a midget named Dink of course.

The Doinks, including the real Doink, celebrate in the back. Why the REAL Doink couldn’t be in the arena isn’t answered.

The Foreign Fanatics are in the back and Cornette talks about their battle plan. He talks about how they look at the All Americans as one man. You can take a man out by taking out his heart, his mind and his soul. The Steiners are the heart, but if you take it out, he has no will to fight. The Undertaker is the mind, but if you take it out, the man is confused. Luger is the soul, but if you take it out, you’ve defeated him completely. I’ve always liked that promo.

Before the match, we get a history lesson about Boston. No seriously, this happens. Thankfully it turns into some promos from the All Americans.

Foreign Fanatics vs. All Americans

Foreign Fanatics: Yokozuna, Crush, Ludvig Borga, Jacques

All Americans: Lex Luger, Undertaker, Steiner Brothers

The Quebecers are the Tag Team Champions and have Johnny (Raven Polo) as their manager. Yokozuna is WWF World Champion. Jacques and Scott start things off and Jacques offers a handshake. Scott says screw you in classic Freakzilla style. Scott hits a quick belly to belly for two and it’s off to Rick. Jacques brings in Yokozuna and things slow down almost immediately. Rick hits a clothesline and a shoulder to knock Yokozuna out to the floor but it doesn’t do much good.

Off to Borga to knock Rick to the floor but Steiner comes back in off the top with a shoulder for no cover. Borga misses an elbow and Rick goes up again, coming off with a cross body. Borga rolls through it and Rick isn’t moving at all, giving Borga an easy pin. Rick finally starts moving and holds his leg, so I’m thinking that’s a legit injury. Rick can’t stand up on the floor.

Scott comes in next and gets to fight Jacques. Rick eventually limps off on his own power which is a good sign at least. Scott hits a great gorilla press but Crush catches a falling Jacques and I guess that’s a tag. Steiner wants nothing to do with a test of strength so Crush pounds on him a bit. A butterfly powerbomb puts Crush down and apparently Savage is back in the building. Crush kicks Scott down and here’s Macho.

Crush throws Scott down to the floor over the top but he won’t go after Savage. Randy gets sent to the back and the dull match continues as Scott may have hurt his knee on that fall. The knee gets targeted now with Crush firing away some kicks and Savage is coming back AGAIN. Scott dropkicks Crush to the floor and Crush goes after Savage for long enough to draw a countout.

Jacques goes after the injured Scott now with a rear chinlock followed by an elbow to the jaw for two. Scott somehow hits a gorilla press on Jacques and there’s the tag to Lex. He slams Jacques down and drops a middle rope elbow for the elimination. It’s now Lex, Undertaker and Scott vs. Borga and Yoko. Borga comes in to face the still limping Scott as Undertaker hasn’t been in the match yet.

Ludvig pounds on the ribs and whips Scott in the corner so he can clothesline Steiner down. Borga goes up top but gets suplexed back down for two. Yokozuna comes in and pounds away, but Scott gets in some offense. He tries the freaking Frankensteiner which goes about as well as you would expect it to, resulting in a legdrop from Yokozuna eliminating Scott to get us down to two on two.

Luger comes in as we’re almost 20 minutes in with no Undertaker yet. Borga, a Finn, waves the Japanese flag. Yokozuna misses a splash and Lex pounds away, only to get clotheslined down with ease. Off to Borga who runs Luger over again and kicks him in the ribs. Back to Yokozuna who misses a charge, and it’s FINALLY off to Undertaker.

The Dead Man hits his running DDT and sits up but a Borga distraction lets Yokozuna suplex Undertaker down. There’s the situp and another after a clothesline. A legdrop keeps Undertaker down and there’s the Banzai, but Yokozuna goes for another, and Undertaker moves. A clothesline puts Yokozuna on the floor and they brawl to a double countout. See you at the Rumble boys. Undertaker was legally in the match for less than two minutes and forty seconds.

So it’s Lex vs. Borga now and as Undertaker and Yokozuna brawl on the floor. Ludvig has taken over and drops a leg on Lex. A side slam puts Lex down for two and Borga gets more two’s off various other power moves. He isn’t covering well though so he isn’t ready to pin Luger yet. A suplex puts Borga down and they clothesline each other. With Cornette distracting the referee, Borga hits Lex with Fuji’s salt bucket for two. Lex gets fired up and hits a powerslam and the loaded forearm for the final pin.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work either. Undertaker was the main draw and he wasn’t even in there for a tenth of the match. Yokozuna vs. Undertaker would go on to screw up two PPVs and Lex would never get the title, basically making the second half of 1993 totally pointless. This match didn’t work at all, and a lot of that is due to the heel lineup. Unless there was an injury or something, I don’t get why Pierre was taken out.

Santa comes out to celebrate with Luger just like last year.

Overall Rating: D. Let’s take a look at this card: great opener, WAY too long second match with the wrong main heel, a match from another company, the banana peel/water balloon fiasco, and the main event with an evil foreign Hawaiian. This show comes off as very long and dull, with most of the matches being completely uninteresting. It was uninteresting back in the day too, as this show got the lowest buyrate in the history of the Survivor Series up to this point.

Ratings Comparison

Team Razor Ramon vs. Team IRS

Original: B

Redo: B

Hart Family vs. Team Shawn Michaels

Original: D+

Redo: D

Rock N Roll Express vs. Heavenly Bodies

Original: B

Redo: B-

Four Doinks vs. Team Bam Bam Bigelow

Original: N/A

Redo: Awe

All-Americans vs. Foreign Fanatics

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Overall Rating:

Original: C+

Redo: D

It was almost the same until the overall rating. I don’t get how it jumps up that high off just a few better grades.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/12/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1993-usa-usa-usa/

 

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Survivor Series Count-Up – 1992: We’re The New Generation

Survivor Series 1992
Date: November 25, 1992
Location: Richfield Coliseum, Richfield, Ohio
Attendance: 17,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

This really is a different era in the WWF as we’re moving more towards a child friendly product with more over the top and at times cartoonish characters. It’s not the most interesting all the time, but with the way business was going at the time, it was clear that something had to change. Luckily that gives us a twenty six minute Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels main event. Let’s get to it.

Slick is behind a pulpit in the interview area to start and talks about how great this show was. He goes into preacher mode and talks about spreading joy and peace. I have no idea what this has to do with wrestling and I don’t think he does either.

Vince and Bobby run down the card. There are multiple gimmick matches tonight.

Headshrinkers vs. High Energy

High Energy is Owen Hart and Koko B. Ware in really ugly pants. The Headshrinkers (Samu and Fatu, more famous as Rikishi) don’t get an entrance. Samu and Owen start things off with Owen being thrown around pretty easily. Things speed up a bit and Owen avoids a big clothesline and hits a cross body for two. The fans are getting fired up.

Off to Koko who makes Samu miss a right hand which hits Fatu. Koko stomps on Samu’s bare feet but he tries to ram the Headshrinkers’ heads together but due to racial stereotypes, there’s no effect whatsoever. Afa, the Headshrinker’s manager, CRACKS Koko in the back with his staff and Koko is in trouble immediately. Owen is draw into the ring by some Samoan bragging, only causing Koko to get beaten down even more.

Vince tries to talk about the main events and Heenan says stick to the subject. That’s a new one. Samu hooks a nerve hold on Koko but he’s too dumb to feel pain so it’s a clothesline instead and Ware is still in trouble. A chop gets two and Samu chokes a bit. Samu misses a corner splash and there’s the hot tag to Owen. Owen dropkicks both guys down and hits a top rope cross body on Samu for two. A spinwheel kick takes Fatu down, only to get caught in a powerslam. Fatu hits a GREAT looking top rope splash to crush Owen and get the easy pin.

Rating: C+. I liked this match a lot more than I should have but I love the Headshrinkers. That top rope splash looked great and Owen sold it like the master that he was. Other than that this was a very basic match with power vs. speed and that’s the right choice for an opener. Good stuff here and I liked it a lot.

Boss Man is getting ready in the back. He says Nailz is a bad man and that he’s committed a lot of crimes and has to be punished for them.

Sean Mooney issues us a warning about how violent the upcoming match is going to be. I don’t think that’s going to be necessary. Nailz comes in and says he’s been waiting for this for a long time and now he’s out of prison. The story was that Nailz was an allegedly innocent convict that was abused by Boss Man in prison and now he’s here for revenge. It’s corny but it’s as good as anything else.

Boss Man (in his second promo in about two and a half minutes) says he’ll take out Nailz tonight. He sees Nailz in the ring and runs out to the arena.

Big Boss Man vs. Nailz

This is a nightstick on a pole match, which means you can get it down and use the stick on the other guy. Is it a DQ if the person that doesn’t pull it down uses it? That’s how the rules sound at least. Nailz tries to get to the stick but Boss Man runs out for the save. Nailz isn’t a wrestler so him using nothing but chokes and punches makes perfect sense. He chokes Boss Man down but still can’t get the stick.

A right hand puts Nailz down and Boss Man gets his hand on the stick but he gets slammed down off the top. Nailz works on Boss Man’s back a bit and chokes away some more but Boss Man shoulders him down. A splash misses and Nailz goes for the corner again, only to get crotched as this is already getting slow. A double clothesline puts both guys down and Boss Man quickly gets to the corner to get the stick. Nailz barely sells a stick shot to the face but Boss Man no sells one to the ribs and hits the Boss Man Slam for the pin.

Rating: D. This was terrible with the no selling looking awful. I mean, it’s a nightstick to the head. There are only so many ways you can get hit with that and be up twenty seconds later. Nailz never did anything other than this although he was scheduled to feud with Undertaker. Boss Man would be gone after the Royal Rumble and wouldn’t be back for years.

Nailz chokes Mooney and says that was injustice.

Tatanka, a Native American, is chanting to get ready for his match with Martel, which is over some stolen feathers. It was a different time.

Flair and Ramon are with Gene. This is a pairing that came out of nowhere but they’re in one of the main events tonight. Ultimate Warrior was supposed to team up with Savage to face these guys but Warrior went nuts and bailed on the company again, leaving Savage without a partner.

Savage was on Prime Time Wrestling (the forerunner to Raw, even though they’re very different shows) and offered the spot on his team to Flair’s manager Mr. Perfect. Heenan, Flair’s other manager, immediately said no and Perfect snapped on him and accepted the offer, causing Heenan to slap him. Bobby begs for Perfect to stay and gets water poured on him for being pathetic.

After the clip is over, Flair is all fired up and wants to know what Perfect is thinking. Perfect basked in Flair’s glory but it was only because Flair allowed it. Now Perfect has made a decision and stepped to the other side and it’s time to pay to the Nature Boy and Razor. Flair looked all kinds of fired up here and it was awesome.

Razor, still in his original persona of Al Pacino from Scarface (funny story about that: Vince is known for not seeing almost any big time movies. When Ramon was interviewing with Vince, McMahon asked him to come up with a character on the spot. Ramon went into a Tony Montana imitation from the movie Scarface without knowing Vince had never seen the move. Vince immediately thought Ramon was a genius and push him), makes generic threats. Flair was AWESOME here.

Tatanka vs. Rick Martel

Tatanka is undefeated at this point and remember this is over stolen feathers. They trade chops in the corner with Tatanka taking over via a backdrop. Martel bails to the floor and I have a feeling this is going to be a long one. Rick gets knocked to the floor again and the fans don’t seem to be that interested. Martel is incorrectly called a former Intercontinental Champion. Nice job Vince.

Back inside and Martel pounds away a bit before hitting a hot shot to take over. Off to a front facelock as the fans are distracted by a fight in the crowd. Tatanka suplexes out of the hold but gets put right back in it. The yet to be named Doink the Clown pops up in the aisle making balloon animals. It’s as random of a cameo as it sounds. Another suplex puts Martel down but Rick hits Tatanka in the throat to take him down. It’s back to the stupid facelock as Doink keeps making animals. Tatanka escapes and clotheslines him down before avoiding a charging Martel in the corner.

This is going nowhere at all. Tatanka works on the arm and gets two off a backslide. Back to the arm although it’s fairly late in the match to do so. Doink is tormenting fans now. Martel sends Tatanka over the top to the floor and things somehow get even more dull. Back in and Tatanka goes on the war path and hits a top rope chop. Because he’s an Indian you see. The Papoose To Go (Samoan Drop) finally pins Martel.

Rating: D. This was a long match that wasn’t bad. It was worse than bad: it was BORING. That’s the problem with Tatanka: he only had so far that he could go and they pushed that limit WAY farther than they should have. He wasn’t anything interesting and his in ring stuff wasn’t that great. Martel was kind of hanging around at this point and he would be gone soon.

Doink pops the animals he made. That’s not nice.

Perfect talks about being in Flair’s shadow, which he finds laughable. He says Flair has wanted to be like Mr. Perfect since Flair got here, but there can only be one Mr. Perfect. Perfect says he can beat Flair and Ramon with no trouble. Savage says he knows more about surviving than anyone else. Ten days ago he had no partner but now he has Mr. Perfect. He doesn’t trust Perfect, but he thinks they could be the perfect tag team. This did a very good job of hyping up the match in short order.

Razor Ramon/Ric Flair vs. Randy Savage/Mr. Perfect

Perfect comes out separately to give Heenan momentary hope that he bailed. He comes through the curtain and Heenan ERUPTS, going on a rant that lasts through Perfect and Savage’s very slow walks down the aisle. Perfect and Ramon start things off in an AWA reunion. This is one of Perfect’s first matches in over a year so he may be a bit rusty. Perfect takes Razor to the mat and slaps him in the back of the head, sending Flair into a fit.

Ramon takes him into the corner and gets slapped in the face, which brings in Flair for the big showdown we’ve been wanting for. Perfect beats him into the corner almost immediately and pounds away. We get a Flair Flip out of the corner and Flair runs right into Savage who gets a tag a second later. Savage slaps Flair in the face to tick him off even more. Then he does it AGAIN.

Ramon and Flair both come in and get punched in the face. A couple of clotheslines take Flair down until FINALLY Ramon gets a knee in the back of Savage to slow him down. Razor tries to go for the leg but Randy kicks him off both times. When all else fails, Ramon chokes away to keep Savage in the ring. Off to Flair for more stomping and it’s Ramon in again to work on Savage’s back.

We get Ramon’s signature abdominal stretch with help from his partner spot. Vince tries to imitate Monsoon by saying Ramon needs to hook the toe but it’s just not the same. Savage hip tosses out of it but gets stomped right back down. Flair throws him over the top and tot he floor where Ramon rams Savage into the steps. Back to Ramon for a half crab and Perfect goes for a walk up the aisle. Heenan is ESTATIC.

Never mind though as he turns around and comes back. Well it was a cool moment while it lasted. Randy is busted open and Ramon pounds away on the face even faster. Flair starts covering a lot faster as he’s getting frustrated. Razor comes in and drops an elbow for two and a chokeslam gets the same. With the heels completely in control, Flair goes up top. The man may be a master in the ring, but he NEVER LEARNS.

Savage superplexes him down and Ric is suddenly in trouble. There’s a tag to Ramon and one to Perfect as well. Perfect hits the Hennig neck snap and a knee lift to both guys. Everything breaks down and Flair hits Savage with a chair to make it two on one. Perfect gets knocked into the official but he flips out of the Razor’s Edge and hits the PerfectPlex on Ramon for a delayed two as Flair makes the save. The PerfectPlex to Flair gets the same result and we have two referees in there. One of them calls the match for a DQ, much to the annoyance of the crowd. Savage and Perfect win to calm things down a bit.

Rating: B-. This was a good match that was bordering on great until the lame ending. I wouldn’t see a problem with Flair getting pinned by the PerfectPlex here. They would have a great match on Raw that would send Flair packing soon enough, but for now this was a great return to the ring for Perfect who hadn’t wrestled in quite a while.

Post match Flair puts Hennig in the Figure Four and Razor gets a chair, but Savage makes a save and chases both guys off.

Flair and Ramon rant in the back.

Yokozuna vs. Virgil

Yokozuna is listed as being from the Polynesian Islands here. This is when Yokozuna is only 505lbs and he had padding in his outfit to make him look fatter. Yokozuna immediately shoves Virgil away and chops him down. Some dropkicks do some good for Virgil but Yokozuna superkicks him (and gets his foot higher than Virgil did on his dropkicks) to take over.

Virgil pounds away a bit but a Rock Bottom takes him down. Some more shots stagger Yokozuna but a sidewalk slam and a legdrop make things all better again. Yokozuna misses a charge and like an IDIOT, Virgil tries a rollup. The big man falls on him and it’s BANZAI (middle rope seated senton) for the pin.

Rating: C-. For a big time debut, this could have been better but it’s clear that no one is going to stop this guy for a long time. Yokozuna would get the rocket to the stars push soon, winning the Royal Rumble in two months and the World Title at Wrestlemania in another two months. Virgil was a jobber to the stars here and nothing more, which is all he should have been. Somehow he would keep a job until 1994.

Savage and Perfect brag a lot.

Nasty Boys/Natural Disasters vs. Beverly Brothers/Money Inc

The Natural Disasters are Earthquake and Typhoon, formerly known as Tugboat. Money Inc. (IRS and Ted DiBiase) has the Tag Team Titles and are about to fight the Nasty Boys. This is one of those “when one guy gets pinned, both team members are out” deals, so it’s a max of three falls to end this match. We start with Typhoon vs. Blake Beverly and it’s a strut off. Typhoon starts throwing Blake around and puts him in an over the shoulder backbreaker so he can hand him off to Earthquake for a bearhug.

Beau tries to cheat to help his brother but it only results in a double splash from both Disasters in the corner. Off to Knobbs as the fans aren’t interested in this match in the slightest. Knobbs runs Blake over with clotheslines and brings in Jerry who finally allows a tag to Beau. A pumphandle slam puts Beau down but he no sells it for some reason. Off to DiBiase who can’t suplex Sags, so Sags suplexes him.

Off to IRS who Jerry hiptosses down. The limited selling continues as IRS gets up and brings in Beau for a powerslam and it’s off to Beau again. Off to a chinlock from Blake as the Beverlies keep tagging in and out very quickly. Jerry tries a quick sleeper but they wind up slamming heads to put both guys down. There’s the tag to Earthquake and Blake is in trouble. Earthquake takes out all four of them and everything breaks down. For some reason Beau tries a crucifix on Typhoon and gets crushed for his efforts. The Earthquake from Earthquake eliminates the Beverlies and it’s 4-2.

DiBiase comes in to face Earthquake but gets beaten up by all four opponents in short order. Back to Earthquake who misses a splash in the corner and Money Inc double suplexes the fatter man down. IRS gets two off the suplex and picks him up to freak Bobby out again. Back to DiBiase as the fans are all over IRS. IRS chokes away on Earthquake some more and it’s back to DiBiase for some chops.

A middle rope double ax by Ted gets two so here’s IRS again. The champs do tag in and out quite well. Quake clotheslines IRS down and finally makes the hot tag to Typhoon. House is cleaned and a splash crushes IRS. DiBiase trips up Typhoon and IRS gets the easy pin to tie it up, but Jerry runs in and rolls up IRS for the fast pin to win.

Rating: C. Not bad here but the ending kind of sucked. What was the point in having the Nasty Boys beat Money Inc that fast when the majority of the match was about the Disasters vs. Money Inc? The Nasty Boys were basically there to fill in a spot instead of being the focus of the match for their team. Odd indeed but it was entertaining enough.

Virgil warns Bret Hart about Yokozuna. Of course Bret wasn’t in the same room.

We recap Kamala vs. Undertaker. Undertaker beat him at Summerslam so Kamala crushed him with a bunch of splashes to a very limited effect. This set up the Coffin Match tonight, which is a regular match but the winner gets to put the loser in a coffin.

Undertaker is building a special coffin.

Undertaker vs. Kamala

Kamala immediately runs from Undertaker and they head to the floor for more not fighting. Back in and Kamala pounds away with almost no effect. Undertaker hits the yet to be named Old School and Kamala is in trouble again. A clothesline sets up some choking by the Dead Man but Kamala chops him to the floor. This is really dull so far. Kamala rams Undertaker head first into the steps and hits him in the back before we head inside. A kick to the chest puts Undertaker down for all of a second. Kamala slams him a bunch of times and three splashes. The urn is knocked into the ring and Undertaker sits up, followed by an urn shot to the head for the pin.

Rating: F. Seriously, that’s it. That’s IT? This is one of the biggest matches on the show and this is all we get? Just a dull match with nothing more than a few shots to the back and a quick ending. This didn’t even make six minutes and Undertaker didn’t even break a sweat in crushing Kamala. Nothing to see here and it was completely worthless, much like Kamala.

Undertaker nails the coffin shut.

Shawn brags about winning the Intercontinental Title a few weeks ago and says he doesn’t need Sherri. Shawn says he beat Davey and Davey beat Bret so Shawn can beat Bret.

Kamala’s managers Harvey Wippleman and Kim Chee get Kamala out of the coffin and he’s catatonic. This would lead to the arrival of Giant Gonzalez.

Bret is ready for Shawn. Gene lists off all of the micarders Bret has defended the title against with the idea being that Bret will fight anyone.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn still has the original version of his music as sung by Sherri and this is champion vs. champion, but only one title is on the line. For the sake of clarity, only Bret will be referred to as champion. Feeling out process to start and they hit the mat with Shawn getting in way over his head. Shawn works on the arm and pulls Bret to the mat but Bret nips up. So that’s where Shawn got it from. Bret cranks on the arm and Shawn cranks on the hair. Things speed up and Shawn trips Bret up but it’s right back to the arm. This technical stuff isn’t working for Shawn so far.

Michaels gets to the arm but Bret easily sends him to the floor to escape. Hart takes over on the arm again and Shawn can’t get anything going in the first five minutes or so. A cross body gets two for Bret as does a sunset flip. It’s back to the arm and Shawn is getting frustrated. They hit the ropes and Shawn catches Bret in a hot shot to finally get in some offense. A thumb to the eye puts Bret back in trouble and he charges into the post to make it even worse.

Shawn DDTs the arm as the roles have completely reversed now, although it’s due to evil ways now instead of technical and good ones. See how good psychology can be when it’s done right? Bret’s chest to the buckle spot gets two for Shawn and it’s chinlock time. They fight over a top wristlock but Shawn uses the hair again to pull Bret back to the mat. Bret fights out of the chinlock but gets dropkicked right back down for two. Shawn is one step ahead of Bret in everything the champion is trying right now.

A backbreaker gets another two for Shawn and let’s hit that chinlock again. Shawn ducks his head and a swinging neckbreaker puts him down. It doesn’t last though as cheating by means of a shot to the throat stops Bret again. A front facelock goes on and Bret rams Shawn into the corner with some shoulders to counter. Shawn charges into a boot and a bulldog puts him down. Bret misses a middle rope elbow and both guys are down again.

Michaels connects with a jumping back elbow to the face for two and it’s back to the front facelock. After two arm drops for Bret, he pulls off the fastest small package you’ll see in a long time for two. A suplex by Hart puts both guys down but things start speeding up anyway. Shawn gets sling shotted into the corner and hits the post as is his custom. Bret launches him into the corner and kicks Shawn so hard that Shawn gets crotched on the top rope.

A BIG back body drop gets two on Shawn and Bret is surprised at the kickout. Russian legsweep gets two for the champ and a backbreaker sets up the middle rope elbow for the same. Bret superplexes Shawn down but he can’t cover immediately and it only gets two. There’s a sleeper from Hart and the referee gets bumped. That goes absolutely nowhere and he’s up a few seconds later.

Bret tries another sleeper but Shawn sends him to the floor in the exact same way that Bret sent Shawn to the floor earlier in a nice bit of storytelling. Bret gets posted and we head back inside for a whip to the corner for two. The problem here for Shawn is that he doesn’t have a big time finisher as his only big move was a lame suplex. Just as I type that, Shawn superkicks Bret down. It’s not a finisher yet though so he doesn’t even cover.

Bret blocks the tear drop suplex (Shawn’s finisher, basically a high angle belly to back suplex) but the second attempt connects for two. Bret uppercuts Shawn into the ropes but Hart misses a charge and crotches himself on the top. Shawn goes up to the middle rope but he jumps right into the Sharpshooter (in the EXACT same sequence that ended regulation of the Iron Man Match at Wrestlemania XII) for the submission to keep the title on Bret.

Rating: A. It’s Bret vs. Shawn with almost 27 minutes. Were you expecting anything but a scientific war? If you make the superkick a finisher instead of a regular move, there’s no way this isn’t even better. Great match here with both guys trading great psychology the whole way through. Really good main event and a great way to show that Hulk isn’t needed to fire up a crowd as they were all kinds of into this match.

Post match here’s…..Santa Claus? He puts a hat on Bret and it starts snowing in the arena.

Post ending of the show, Bret asks Santa for better competition. Ok then.

Overall Rating: B-. This isn’t a great show but if you have about two hours to kill and a good fast forward button on whatever device you’re using, there are far worse shows you could watch. The main event is great stuff and the tag match isn’t bad either, but it’s better if you know the backstory and watch the build. This was a good show and considering there was no Hogan or Warrior on it, it was a pretty bold yet necessary step for WWF at the time. Good stuff.

Ratings Comparison

Headshrinkers vs. High Energy

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Big Boss Man vs. Nailz

Original: D+

Redo: D

Tatanka vs. Rick Martel

Original: C-

Redo: D

Randy Savage/Mr. Perfect vs. Razor Ramon/Ric Flair

Original: B

Redo: B-

Yokozuna vs. Virgil

Original: C
Redo: C-

Nasty Boys/Natural Disasters vs. Money Inc./Beverly Brothers

Original: D

Redo: C

Undertaker vs. Kamala

Original: C+

Redo: F

Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels:

Original: A-

Redo: A

Overall Rating:

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Dang I must have really grown to hate Kamala since then. Overall it’s roughly the same though.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/11/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1992-bret-vs-shawn-at-survivor-series/

 

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Monday Night Raw – February 26, 1996: There’s Wrestlemania

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 26, 1996
Location: Cincinnati Gardens, Cincinnati, Ohio
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

Hopefully things pick up a bit this week as there’s going to be a showdown between Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart with a little over a month to go before their WWF World Title match at Wrestlemania XII. Other than that we get another Larry Fling Live skit because we’re just that lucky. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Diesel and Undertaker playing mind games with each other. That’s an underrated feud and it’s cool to see it again.

Opening sequence.

Isaac Yankem D.D.S. vs. Jake Roberts

This is actually Jake’s in ring Raw debut. Jake shoves him around to start and it’s so weird to see Kane just in pants and with that curly hair. Isaac gets in a clothesline and drives some fists to the face, only to get caught in the DDT for the quick pin.

Rating: D. That DDT was Jake’s only major offense in the entire (short) match. This was around the time when Jake was just a disaster in the ring and it was getting harder and harder to watch him out there. Yankem was long past his expiration date and would return as Fake Diesel a few months after this character finally died.

The Ultimate Warrior is coming back due to fan requests.

Bob Holly vs. Diesel

This is a match that Eric Bischoff actually talked about live on Nitro, spoiling it for the audience. You know, because this match needed to be spoiled. Bob’s early offense lasts as long as you would expect it to but Diesel keeps looking around for Undertaker to pop up through the ring. Holly makes a comeback and we actually take a break, only to come back to see the Jackknife ending this.

Rating: D-. That’s for the break because the post commercial stuff was all of ten seconds long. I can’t stand it when they’re clearly just stretching a match out for the sake of stretching it out and it happened way too often at this point. To be fair it happens today too and it’s every bit as annoying.

Diesel goes to leave and the gong sounds. The lights go out and Undertaker is in the ring but he disappears when Diesel comes close. Coward. They go out again and Undertaker is on the video screen, saying he can play mind games too.

Ahmed Johnson vs. Shinobi

Al Snow as a ninja. Ahmed throws him outside like the jobber with a stupid gimmick that he is and we get a phone call from Goldust, who has a poem for Roddy Piper. As we hear about Goldust wanting to play Piper’s bag, Shinobi botches a springboard with Johnson just staring at him. The spinebuster and Pearl River Plunge wrap this up quick.

Mankind talks about playing the piano for his mommy and her friends.

Vince brings out Shawn and Bret for a big interview. Shawn says he has more respect for Bret than anyone in this building and Bret may be the best there was and ever will be, but right now there might be someone better. Bret knows that there’s been a lot of time put into this title and he’s shown how great he is. His job is to be champion but Shawn has one night to beat him.

They get into a debate about who is in the best condition so here’s Roddy Piper with something to say. At Wrestlemania, Piper doesn’t want to hear about any tights pulling or a DQ. Oh and he doesn’t want to see Shawn’s abs because they don’t mean anything. Piper finally gets to the point and introduces the idea of the Iron Man match with the ONE HOUR time limit being the big sticking point.

British Bulldog/Owen Hart vs. Yokozuna

Vince actually says Yokozuna is facing his ex stablemates. Yokozuna elbows and slams Owen to start before doing the same to Bulldog. Double teaming works a bit better and we take a break because this show hasn’t gone on long enough yet. Back with Owen missing an elbow drop but Vader comes out for the DQ.

Rating: D-. To be fair it had been a long time since we had a bad match. Yokozuna was just way beyond saving at this point and was little more than a freak show. Vader beating him up would have been fine at Wrestlemania but they were probably better off changing things up for the sake of the fans having to watch those two have a match on their own.

Ahmed Johnson and Jake Roberts come out for the save, albeit with Ahmed doing all the work and Jake walking in slow motion before bringing out the yellow snake. I’ve heard of worse Plan B’s.

We wrap it up with Larry Fling Live with special guests Huckster and Nacho Man. They immediately start with the jokes about Hogan being injured by Woman’s shoe. Both of them seem to be involved with Liz and that doesn’t go well. Oh and they’re both too old to wrestle for the WWF, which is why Hogan would be champion in six years. Billionaire Ted calls in and Hogan freaks out, hitting everyone with horrible chair shots (ala SuperBrawl VI) while Larry holds a woman’s shoe. See, this was actually funny and making fun of WCW for doing stupid stuff, not for whatever Vince’s latest issue was.

Overall Rating: F. Other than announcing Wrestlemania’s main event gimmick, this was the most worthless show I can remember in a long time. There was nothing worth seeing throughout the show and the Hogan stuff at the end might have been the most entertaining part. On the other show, we had the Alliance to End Hulkamania. In other words, it was a horrible time to be a wrestling fan and it was only going to get worse.

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In Your House VI: Rage in the Cage (2013 Redo): Does Attempted Murder Count As A Heel Turn?

In Your House #6: Rage in the Cage
Date: February 18, 1996
Location: Louisville Gardens, Louisville, Kentucky
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

This is the final show before Wrestlemania XII, meaning almost everything has been set up for the show already. There main question is who will be facing whom for the world title. Other than Diesel vs. Bret tonight, there’s also the case of who gets to face the winner for the title. As mentioned Shawn has won the right to fight for the title, but he also wants revenge against Owen Hart for putting him out, so tonight Shawn is putting his Wrestlemania title shot on the line for a shot at Owen. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the mindsets of Diesel and Bret and what role the Undertaker might play in the whole thing.

Vince and Jerry preview the show for us.

Razor Ramon vs. 1-2-3 Kid

This is a Crybaby Match, meaning the loser is put in a diaper. It’s also the final encounter in a story that has run over two years and seen both guys turn at one point. The Kid also cost Razor the Intercontinental Title at the Rumble. He throws a diaper in Razor’s face and gets punched in the face for his efforts before a big clothesline sends Kid flying over the top and out to the floor.

The Kid snaps Razor’s throat over the top rope and comes back in with a springboard clothesline before kicking away in the corner to take over. A big spin kick takes Razor’s head off and he fires off chops in the corner, only to be reversed into a big hiptoss to give Ramon control again. There’s the fallaway slam but the Kid bails to the floor to escape the Razor’s Edge. To play up the gimmick of the match, DiBiase slips the Kid some baby powder to throw in Razor’s eyes (not a DQ for no apparent reason) to give the Kid two.

A pair of legdrops and a top rope splash gets another two count on Ramon and Kid hooks a sleeper. The hold stays on for almost three minutes but Razor finally fights up and crotches the Kid on the top rope for the break. Back up and Ramon scores with some right hands before rolling through a high cross body for two. Kid comes back with a big spin wheel kick for two but gets caught in a middle rope fallaway slam to knock him silly. DiBiase gives the Kid more powder but Razor kicks it into Kid’s face before planting him with the Razor’s Edge. He pulls Kid up at two though before hitting a second Edge for the pin.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match here and a good choice for an opener but the sleeper went on too long. This is one of those stories that went on so long that it was hard to care about either guy at the end of it, but it got the Kid to a higher level than he would have been at otherwise which is a good sign. This was probably their best match in the entire story too.

Post match the Kid has a baby bottle poured down his throat, gets put in a diaper and covered in baby powder.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Duke Droese

Helmsley is accompanied by Elizabeth Hilden, a Penthouse Pet of the Year (not mentioned here of course). Droese is another of those one note characters, this time a wrestling garbage man. Helmsley cut Duke’s hair recently so this is about revenge. Droese charges the ring and pounds away on Helmsley in the corner before slamming him down hard. Duke takes off his vest to whip Helmsley before booting him in the jaw.

A backdrop puts Helmsley down as Lawler hits on the Penthouse chick. Helmsley’s Pedigree attempt is countered with an atomic drop and a clothesline puts him down again. Droese misses a charge and gets backdropped out to the floor, possibly injuring his shoulder. Helmsley whips him into the post for two and pounds away but Duke comes back for a slug out. A jumping knee to the face gets two on Droese and a snap suplex gets the same.

Helmsley charges into a boot in the corner and a double clothesline puts both guys down. The Penthouse girl is at least watching and seems to be interested in what’s going on. That’s all you can ask for with “celebrities” like her so I’ll take what I can get. A spinebuster puts Helmsley down and a big backdrop does the same. There’s a powerslam for no cover but Duke says it’s time to take out the trash. He hits his tilt-a-whirl powerslam (the Trash Compactor) but goes to get his garbage can instead of covering. The referee throws it out but the distraction allows Helmsley to blast Duke with the can lid for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not terrible here with Droese having some nice power stuff in there. The story doesn’t really work because it’s such a low level idea but the hair cutting stuff from a few weeks ago gave it a personal touch. Not a great match or anything but it did its job well enough. Helmsley is getting some character development over the months too which is what he needs more than anything.

We recap the collapse of Camp Cornette, which culminated in the British Bulldog accidentally hitting Yokozuna and costing them a tag match. Cornette berated Yokozuna after the match and the big man erupted, turning face in the process.

Yokozuna cuts his first promo ever, saying it’s his time to take the spotlight from Cornette.

Yokozuna vs. British Bulldog

The big man slugs Bulldog down within seconds and there’s a slam for good measure. Yokozuna misses an elbow drop though and Bulldog starts the very slow choking. It only lasts a few seconds though as Yokozuna crushes him in the corner but Cornette breaks up the Banzai Drop attempt. We get a VERY slow fight on the floor until Bulldog avoids a charge into the post and they head back inside. A top rope ax handle gets two for Smith but Yokozuna hits a quick (by comparison) Samoan drop, drawing in Cornette with a tennis racket shot for the DQ.

Rating: D. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but what we got was as bad as it sounded. There’s just nothing you can do with a guy Yokozuna’s size unless you’re a monster yourself. Smith is a powerful guy but he’s hardly a giant. Nothing much to see here though but at least it was short.

Post match Yokozuna goes after Cornette until Vader, the new monster of Camp Cornette, comes out to slug Yokozuna down into the corner and handcuff him to the ropes. The beating ensues and goes on longer than it should have.

Goldust is on AOL for an interview and hits on the guy doing the typing.

We recap Shawn vs. Owen which we’ve covered for the most part. Owen is bragging about injuring Shawn’s head but tonight Michaels is back and putting up his Wrestlemania title shot for a chance at revenge.

Shawn says this is the biggest match of his career because if he doesn’t win, he can’t achieve his destiny at Wrestlemania.

Owen Hart vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn comes in from the roof of the house set, dancing atop the garage. Feeling out process to start with Shawn sliding through Owen’s legs and all the way out to the floor to show Owen up a bit. Michaels kisses a woman in the front row on the cheek, sending her nearly into delirium. Back in and Owen slides through the legs just like Shawn did, only Michaels goes up top and dives to the floor to take Owen out. Back in and a top rope ax handle to the head gets two for Michaels.

Owen gets taken down with ease and Shawn walks up his back to show off even more. We hit a headlock for a bit with Shawn messing up Owen’s hair. Owen gets a quick takedown but Shawn kicks him away, allowing both guys to nip up at the same time. A hurricanrana takes Owen down and Shawn pounds away, only to walk into a belly to belly suplex to give Owen his first advantage.

A neckbreaker gets two for Owen as he starts going after Shawn’s head. Scratch that actually as Shawn has to kick out of a Sharpshooter attempt but gets caught in an armbar. The hold is shifted into a camel clutch before Owen gets two off a rollup. Off to a chinlock as the rest holds continue to abound. Back up and the spinwheel kick sends Shawn out to the floor, possibly injuring Shawn’s head again.

Back in again and Shawn throws Hart to the floor and dives off the apron, only to get caught in a powerslam down to the floor. A missile dropkick gets two for Owen and Shawn is in big trouble. Shawn is whipped upside down in the corner and gets his head taken off with a hard clothesline for no cover. There’s the Sharpshooter as Owen completely changes his offensive strategy for the sake of using a signature move.

Michaels is dragged back to the middle of the ring but finally grabs the bottom rope. Back up and Owen hits his enziguri, sending Shawn out to the floor and seemingly out on consciousness. Back in and Owen only gets a two count but Shawn comes back with a flying forearm to the head. He nips up and the energy is rolling. There’s the top rope elbow and a right hand for Cornette before Sweet Chin Music sends Shawn to Wrestlemania.

Rating: B. This was good but it didn’t hit the level they were going for. That being said, this was exactly what they were supposed to be doing with Shawn coming back from his injury and winning the match completely clean in the middle of the ring. Shawn was on a roll at this point and the fans were WAY into him.

Post match Shawn dances with an 8 year old girl in the ring. Nice moment.

Here’s acting president Roddy Piper with something to say. He thinks Michael Jackson is guilty (topical at the time) before officially announcing Shawn as #1 contender to the world title. Second he doesn’t feel sorry for Yokozuna because he let himself get cuffed to the ropes. Piper thinks Vader is inbred and that his mask looks like a jockstrap. Vader vs. Yokozuna is officially made for Wrestlemania.

This brings out Cornette but Piper immediately cuts him off and demands respect. Cornette talks about how the old Piper was afraid of nothing but now he’s afraid of Vader. Piper cuts him off again and says that if Vader loses at Wrestlemania, Cornette has to face Yokozuna one on one. This was a way to give the ring crew time to set up the cage.

WWF World Title: Diesel vs. Bret Hart

In a cage of course and you can win by escape only. Diesel pounds him into the corner to start but Bret comes back with right hands of his own, only to be shoved down with ease. The big man fires off more right hands in the corner before talking some trash. A HARD whip across the ring shakes the cage and Bret is in big trouble early. The champion slips away from Diesel, sending his head into the cage. Bret rams it in again and drops some elbows on Diesel’s head. Very physical match so far.

Bret goes up but Diesel makes the stop and rams Bret back first into the cage wall. He tries to get out but Bret crotches him with the ropes and fires off even more right hands to the head. Neither guy can escape so Bret goes after the knee to slow Diesel down. Bret fights back up and clotheslines Hart down as Lawler wonders why they’re not running to escape as soon as the other guy is down. A sidewalk slam puts Hart down again but he takes out the knee again to regain control.

Hart goes for the escape but only gets one leg out when Diesel makes another stop and launches Bret off the top rope in a slam. Diesel charges into a knee in the corner and gets bulldogged down but Bret can’t follow up. We get another escape attempt by Bret but this time Diesel suplexes him down for the stop. They’re getting a little repetitive here.

Diesel misses a charge in the corner and hurts his knee again, giving Bret an opening. The champion goes after the bad wheel and drops a middle rope elbow on it for good measure. Diesel counters a whip to give us the chest first buckle bump, which sounds AWESOME here because of the cage shaking. The challenger pounds away with elbows in the corner but Bret kicks him in the knee for a breather.

Hart goes up again and gets all the way out of the cage but Diesel pulls him up by the hair in a painful looking sequence. Diesel stays on Bret’s back by cannonballing down onto the spine, only to be rammed face first into the cage for his efforts. The big man pokes Hart in the eye and the fans are entirely in his corner at the moment.

Bret fights up and slugs away before taking Diesel down with the Russian legsweep. There’s the middle rope elbow but Diesel pulls Bret down again to put both guys on the mat. Diesel goes for the door but the Undertaker pops up through the mat and pulls Diesel down under the ring. Smoke pours out of the hole as Bret climbs out to retain the title.

Rating: D+. This was a pretty boring match for the most part with a very repetitive sequence going on throughout the twenty minutes. Diesel needed to be more physical out there and this is one of the few instances where pinfalls could have helped a cage match. Diesel wasn’t going to escape, but the threat of a Jackknife could have helped things out a lot.

Diesel and Undertaker crawl out of the hole with Diesel escaping from further torment.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s a better show overall due to the really good Shawn match and some other nice stuff in between but it’s still no classic. They’re definitely getting the formula down though and things will be changing even more with the events of Wrestlemania. Better show here and thankfully these are getting much easier to sit through. That’s a sign of the times in the WWF, which would actually lead to much darker days, which we’ll get to soon enough.

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Monday Night Raw – February 5, 1996: They’re Having Fun

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 5, 1996
Location: Civic Auditorium, Stockton, California
Attendance: 2,904
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on In Your House VI but unfortunately we’re starting this month at the end of a taping cycle, meaning a burned out crowd and weak writing. The big story at the moment is the upcoming Bret Hart vs. Diesel cage match for the WWF World Title but Undertaker is looming as well. Let’s get to it.

Shawn Michaels/Diesel vs. Yokozuna/British Bulldog

Vince and Jerry go out of their way to point out that Shawn and Diesel are undefeated as a team. Camp Cornette has been having problems of late so there are a few variables here. Shawn and the Bulldog have a posedown to start until they take turns sending each other to the floor. Yokozuna tries to sneak up on Shawn (as well as a 600+ man can sneak) so Diesel picks Shawn up and tosses him to knock Yokozuna down.

It’s off to Diesel vs. Yokozuna as Vince plugs those stupid Billionaire Ted skits. A Samoan drop (You think Vince knows what to call that?) drops Diesel and Bulldog low bridges Shawn out to the floor. The delayed vertical suplex plants Shawn as the announcers play fantasy bookers about the World Title situation.

Back from a break with Shawn in more trouble (makes sense) and Yokozuna putting on a nerve hold. Shawn finally avoids the big splash and Diesel comes in to clean house. I know he’s not the most popular booker but I’ve always enjoyed watching Nash do his big power stuff. Everything breaks down and Shawn superkicks Yokozuna to the floor for the countout.

Rating: C-. Not terrible here and for once I can completely get the idea of not having someone get pinned. If they’re setting up Yokozuna as a loser, it’s a stretch to complain about getting pinned by Shawn so having him get knocked out because he’s too fast is a smart way to go about it.

Post match Cornette yells at Yokozuna, who beats him up to turn face.

Someone is coming and he’s missing part of an ear.

Hakushi vs. 1-2-3 Kid

This could be good. Feeling out process to start as neither guy wants to go too fast. Kid tries to spin around a bit and gets caught by a superkick underneath the chin. A quick toss to the floor has Hakushi in trouble and a flip dive over the top draws absolutely no reaction. I don’t know if the crowd is just bored or what but that was SILENCE. We take a break and come back with Kid getting dropkicked out of the air to put both guys down. Another kick to the face puts the Kid on the floor and Hakushi follows him out with a nice dive. Back in and Hakushi goes up but gets butterfly superplexed back down for the pin.

Rating: B-. This got better near the end but that crowd reaction tells you a lot. You would think a match between two high fliers like these guys would have gotten at least some kind of a reaction, but when the Kid’s feud is setting up a “loser wears a diaper” match, it’s not the easiest thing in the world to get behind.

Clarence Mason is annoyed that Vader isn’t reinstated and promises to sue the WWF.

Video of Vader attacking Gorilla Monsoon to earn himself a suspension.

Monsoon says his injuries will heal and apologizes to the fans for losing his cool. He knows Roddy Piper will be fine as interim boss.

WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Bret Hart

If this doesn’t wake them up, nothing will. Undertaker is challenging and throws Bret around to start before a headbutt gives us a stalemate. An uppercut puts Bret down and we hit the always stupid smother hold. Old School is loaded up but here’s Diesel for a distraction to break it up. Bret takes over as Diesel sits in for some commentary as this is still going slowly. It’s time to go after the leg with Bret dropping elbows and wrapping it around the post.

Back from a break with Undertaker hitting a belly to back suplex and sending Bret into the barricade. Old School connects the second time but the referee gets bumped on the Tombstone attempt. Bret escapes into a rollup for no count and it’s time to go back to the leg. That’s enough for Diesel as he jumps Bret from behind and Jackknifes Undertaker. We go to a second break and come back with…..the match having ended during the break. Eh to be fair it was pretty much over already.

Rating: C+. It’s a shame that triple threats weren’t a thing in this company yet as this three way feud really deserved everyone fighting at the same time. It’s interesting stuff and I get why they didn’t want to have Undertaker do a job here, especially on a TV match. I can’t complain much about a non-finish on Raw, though the fans might when Nitro had a title change two weeks earlier.

And now, a Billionaire Ted sketch to wrap things up. It’s a press conference with Ted saying he’ll do anything to put the WWF out of business while Nacho Man and Huckster try to fight each other. Ted doesn’t care about losing millions of dollars of stockholders’ money because he’s just having fun. Maggle! These things are so petty and such an embarrassment.

The show was pre-empted on February 12 so next up is February 19.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling was better here but this was actually the go home show for the pay per view due to the show not being on next week. In that sense this was a pretty strong show with four out of the five pay per view matches getting some time, which is a lot better than you would normally expect from Raw. The three way feud continues to have my attention but it’s all just filling in time until Shawn gets the belt anyway.

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In Your House IX: International Incident (2013 Redo): The Most Worthless Show Ever

In Your House #9: International Incident
Date: July 21, 1996
Location: General Motors Place, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Attendance: 14,804
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

The People’s Posse originally had the Ultimate Warrior teaming up with Johnson and Michaels, but Warrior bailed on the company again for asking for too much time off. Warrior claimed he was leaving due to not getting money he was owed and Vince McMahon claiming that he didn’t buy Warrior’s excuse of grieving over his father’s death. Either way, we get Sid tonight which might actually be the better option. Let’s get to it.

Earlier tonight on the Free For All, Cornette swung the tennis racket at Jose Lothario but got punched in the face for his efforts. Vader and Shawn came in to prevent any further violence. The main catch for the

Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas

The Gunns are champions and have Sunny with them but this is non-title. The Bodydonnas have turned face with a new manager named Cloudy (a man in woman’s clothing), but no one cares about them at all either way. Sunny, who looks great as a cowgirl, won’t let Vince hold the tag titles. The Gunns are sent to the floor to start before we get down to Bart vs. Zip. They trade chops with neither guy seeming all that interested in selling for the other. Zip takes him down with an armdrag into an armbar before bringing in Skip to crank on it as well.

Bart gets tired of having his arm pulled apart so he throws Skip down and brings in Billy to fire off some right hands. A nice headscissors puts Billy down and Skip spins out of a few hiptosses, only to be punched down for his efforts. Skip grabs another armbar as the match slows down all over again. Out of nowhere Sunny collapses but as Skip goes to check on her she slaps him in the face, allowing the Gunns to clothesline him down.

Back in and the Gunns take over with Bart whipping Skip HARD into the corner to take him down. Skip comes back with a quick clothesline and goes up top, only to dive into a sweet powerslam for two. With Skip draped throat first over the top and Bart holding his legs up, Billy tries to jump over his partner’s back to land on Skip’s back but can’t get up and over Bart. If you can’t do the spot, don’t try it.

Skip and Bart mistime something out of the corner and awkwardly stop in the middle of the ring. Bart goes up top but jumps into an atomic drop, allowing for the hot tag off to Zip. Billy trips Zip down but can’t get in place for the Sidewinder (side slam/guillotine legdrop combo), allowing Skip to hit a missile dropkick on Bart to give Zip the pin.

Rating: D. This was a horrible choice for an opening match with WAY too much time and the botches dragging the match down. On top of that, why in the world would you make this a non-title match? To set up a future rematch? Why in the world wouldn’t you do this on Raw and then have the title match here? Very dull match here.

Camp Cornette rants about the fight with Cornette and Lothario while guaranteeing a win later.

Mankind vs. Henry Godwinn

Mankind is one of the most bizarre characters in wrestling history. He debuted the night after Wrestlemania and immediately targeted the Undertaker, easily beating him down like no one else ever had before. Mankind lives in a boiler room, often sits on the mat and rocks back and forth and is known to pull out his hair. He also wears a leather mask that covers half of his face and is missing part of an ear. Henry is substituting for Jake Roberts who didn’t show up for the show.

Mankind jumps Godwinn from behind to start but Henry is more than comfortable in a slugout. He punches Mankind in the face a few times and powerslams him down for two. Mankind pounds him down with shots to the back as Lawler makes jokes about Roberts’ substance abuse issues. Henry sweeps Mankind’s legs out and hits some HARD shots to the face, only to have Mankind choke him for a breather.

A running knee to Henry’s face has him in even more trouble so Mankind goes to the floor and pulls back the mats. Henry gets taken down by a swinging neckbreaker onto the concrete. Back in and Mankind misses a charge into the corner but he easily sends Henry out to the floor. Godwinn comes right back by slamming Mankind from the apron to the concrete but the Slop Drop is countered with into Mankind’s Mandible Claw for the win.

Rating: D+. Nothing great here but it was a nice brawl while it lasted. Henry was stuck in a stupid gimmick but he could throw some great right hands and brawl with the best of them. There’s nothing wrong with having a guy like that around as you’re going to get an entertaining match more often than not. Still though, nothing great here.

Mankind sprints up the aisle but stops at the entrance because he’s a bit strange.

Marc Mero vs. Steve Austin

This is a rematch from the King of the Ring tournament. Austin jumps him right after the bell but Mero comes back with a quick armbar. That gets him nowhere so Steve grabs a headlock and takes him down to the mat. Back up and they slug it out with Mero, a former New York Golden Gloves Champion, easily taking control. Austin is knocked to the floor and goes after Sable, only to be jumped from behind.

Back inside and Steve gets rolled up for two but manages to send Mero out to the floor to take over. A catapult sends Mero face first into the post and another shot knocks him off the apron and into the barricade. Back in and a middle rope elbow gets two for Austin and we hit a reverse chinlock. Austin slaps Mero in the back of the head but misses a charge and lands on the middle rope to give Marc a breather.

Steve goes up but gets crotched down, allowing Mero to pull him down and hook a hurricanrana to send both guys to the floor. A moonsault press off the apron takes Austin down again and a slingshot moonsault gets two back inside. Mero pounds away with right hands in the corner but Austin shoves him to the side, crotching Mero on the top rope. Marc blocks Austin’s Stunner finisher and gets two off a slingshot legdrop. For some reason Marlena comes out to watch the ending. Not that it matters though Austin comes back with a quick chop block and the Stunner connects for the pin.

Rating: C. Good stuff here for the most part but the match felt off for some reason. It’s very interesting to see Austin evolve the Stunner over the years as there’s no kick to the ribs yet and he just snaps it off. Mero wasn’t bad in the ring at all but he never quite fit in the WWF.

Former WWF Champion Bob Backlund is running for President of the United States and looks for registered voters in the crowd.

Highlight video on the Undertaker’s feuds with Mankind and Goldust, which is set up like a music video for some reason.

Goldust vs. Undertaker

Goldust, who has since lost the Intercontinental Title to Ahmed Johnson, bails to the floor to start and does so again after Undertaker moves towards him. He gets in again and hides behind the referee for a few moments before doing his trademark deep breath. It only earns him an uppercut to the jaw, sending Goldust right back to the floor for more stalling. Lawler makes movie references as Goldust teases walking out and VERY slowly gets back in the ring.

Undertaker finally goes out after him and chokeslams Goldust down onto the steps in an awkward looking sequence. Undertaker picks up the steps but won’t crush Marlena along with Goldust. Apparently he’s a zombie with a heart. Back in and Goldust gets clotheslined down before a legdrop gets two for Undertaker. This has been one sided so far. Goldust finally comes back with some knees in the corner to take over but Undertaker grabs him by the throat and throws him into the corner to hand out a beating.

The fans chant Rest in Peace (Undertaker catchphrase) as he connects with Old School and some uppercuts. Goldust clotheslines Undertaker over the top rope but Undertaker lands on his feet and keeps firing off uppercuts. Something resembling a Stunner across the top rope snaps Goldust’s neck back but he uses the distraction to pull the turnbuckle pad away. Undertaker is sent back first into the exposed steel to finally give Goldust control.

They head outside again so Goldust can drop the steps on Undertaker’s back to further his advantage. Back in and Goldust puts on a reverse chinlock to keep the pace of the match very slow. The fans chant for Undertaker so Goldust breaks the hold like any idiot heel would do. Undertaker comes back with a big boot to the face and a small package of all things for two. The flying clothesline takes Goldust down and there’s the Tombstone, drawing Mankind up through a hole in the ring for the DQ.

Rating: D-. Way too long here and horribly boring due to all of the stalling. Goldust and Undertaker had some of the least interesting matches I can ever remember for two guys with as much talent as they have. It was clearly just a backdrop for Undertaker vs. Mankind, which isn’t something you spend three months on.

Mankind pulls Undertaker through the hole with the Mandible Claw before crawling back out on his own. The lights flicker and Undertaker’s music plays but he comes out of another hole to sneak up on Mankind. They brawl to the back to one of the only good reactions of the night.

The announcers talk about the main event while the ring is repaired.

We go to the back to see the brawl between Undertaker and Mankind continue.

Goldust and Marlena are in the boiler room where Mankind and Undertaker were fighting earlier. Goldust quotes Kramer vs. Kramer when Mankind pops up and calls Goldust mommy. Mankind rams his head into a cabinet while screaming about what mommy wants, mommy gets.

The announcers ignore what we just saw and talk about the main event a bit more.

We recap the main event six man tag which started at King of the Ring. Shawn pinned British Bulldog in the rematch but Vader and Owen Hart came in for a post match attack. Ultimate Warrior and Ahmed Johnson came in for the save, setting up the six man. Ultimate Warrior was suspended a few weeks after for reasons already mentioned, so Shawn and Ahmed brought in Sid to take his place. It’s not clear if Sid can be trusted though.

The People’s Posse says they can trust Sid and they’ll win tonight.

People’s Posse vs. Camp Cornette

If Camp Cornette loses, Cornette has to pay back all of the fans, which would cost him millions. Also Owen has a broken arm coming in. Vader and Ahmed start things off but Vader wants the world champion instead. Shawn is happy to oblige and is easily shoved away by the monster. Vader lifts Shawn into the air in a choke but Shawn punches his way to freedom. Shawn speeds things up and actually hits a running hurricanrana to take Vader down. A cross body sends Vader to the floor and Michaels follows with a nice plancha to take the monster down.

Shawn tries another hurricanrana but gets hit a bit low to give Vader control. Vader pounds away in the corner and Shawn is in quick trouble. Michaels manages to escapes a belly to back suplex and makes the hot tag off to Sid for a battle of the giants. Sid cleans house and sends all of Camp Cornette out to the floor, drawing a HUGE reaction from the crowd. Owen tries to sneak in from behind but is easily taken down by another clothesline. Off to Johnson who actually rolls German suplexes on Owen.

Johnson misses an elbow drop and it’s off to the Bulldog to pound away for a bit until he gets caught in a spinebuster. Ahmed hits his Pearl River Plunge tiger bomb but it’s Owen making the save. Off to Vader for some power but Ahmed pounds him down in the corner to keep the fans into things the entire way through. Vader easily reverses a whip into the corner and hits a hard splash followed by even more fists to the head and body. Another splash attempt is caught in a slam which looked WAY easier than it should have for Ahmed.

Owen comes in and takes Johnson down with a spinwheel kick but Johnson pops up at two. Johnson keeps coming back with a gorilla press slam and it’s back to Sid for a big boot to the face before firing off some very fast right hands in the corner. Sid whips Owen into the Cornette corner and it’s time for the Bulldog vs. Sid power match. Smith actually lifts him up in the delayed vertical suplex and a Vader elbow is good for two. Vader runs Sid over again and brings Smith back in for some headbutts.

Sid is able to get in a shot to the face and makes the tag off to Shawn, but Bulldog quickly avoids a charge to send Shawn shoulder first into the post. Shawn sends Bulldog into Vader to knock the big man off the apron and get a pair of two counts on Smith. Back to Owen to trade some VERY fast rollups with Shawn for two each before Shawn gets two more off a cross body. A victory roll gets the same for Michaels and they head to the mat before bridging into Ric Flair’s trademark pinfall reversal sequence. Outstanding sequence there.

Back to Bulldog for a legdrop but Michaels avoids an elbow drop to get a breather. Owen finally uses the cast on the bad arm to put Shawn down and it’s back to Vader to pound away on the world champion. Shawn is whipped across the ring and goes over the corner and out to the floor in a big crash. After Owen and Bulldog get in some cheap shots on the floor it’s back in for a half standing chinlock/half bearhug on Shawn with Vader’s arms wrapped around his neck and under his arms. Not a bad looking hold actually.

The hold stays on for awhile as a fan tries to interfere and is easily run off by Bulldog and the referee. After several minutes of the hold, Vader throws Shawn down and splashes him but Ahmed comes in to break up a cover. Bulldog comes in and puts on an over the shoulder backbreaker followed by a fallaway slam for two. Smith misses a charge into the corner but it’s Hart breaking up the hot tag attempt yet again.

Shawn punches Owen down but can’t follow up, allowing for another tag back to Davey, whose cover is quickly broken up by a Sid legdrop. Vader gets the tag and Shawn crawls over to make one as well, but the referee doesn’t see Ahmed get the tag. Johnson protests but Shawn gets triple teamed, giving Bulldog another two count. Owen tries a missile dropkick but hits Bulldog by mistake, allowing Shawn to FINALLY make the tag off to Sid.

The big man cleans house and chokeslams every member of Camp Cornette before launching Shawn off the top onto Vader for two. Everything breaks down and Cornette throws in the tennis racket but Shawn intercepts it to clock Vader in the head. Somehow that’s only good for two so Shawn tunes up the band, only to have Cornette trip him up. Vader runs Michaels over and hits the Vader Bomb for the pin to suck the life out of the crowd.

Rating: A-. REALLY good match here with everyone working hard and having a match that had the fans going nuts. Sid’s popularity is nearly astounding as the guy was just crazy over on about three moves. The ending was obvious, but on rare occasions that’s not a bad thing with this being a good example of that.

Post match Sid and Ahmed clean house with powerbombs to Owen and Bulldog but Vader is pulled to safety. Shawn dives over the top and takes out Vader, sending Camp Cornette running off. A lot of posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: D. The only thing that is holding up this show is the main event. Let’s look at this entire card: what in the world would you want to pay for on this show? There are five matches, zero titles on the line, and the one match that might draw some interest had a telegraphed ending. This was a terribly uninteresting show which set a record for the lowest buyrate in company history as not many people cared about seeing this show. It also doesn’t help that two weeks prior to this, Hulk Hogan turned heel in WCW, lighting the fire that would burn the WWF as close to a crisp as you can be for the next year and a half.

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Monday Night Raw – May 15, 1995: They’re Already Dying

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 15, 1995
Location: Broome County Arena, Binghamton, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re past In Your House and that means it’s time to go towards……towards……dang it we’re going towards King of the Ring 1995. Diesel is still WWF World Champion as Sid still can’t win a singles title. Other than that, we still have Jerry Lawler vs. Bret Hart because why stop at two years? Let’s get to it.

We open with dueling IRS and Bam Bam Bigelow promos with both saying they’re ready.

Lawler is VERY happy after beating Bret Hart last night. That’s quite the accomplishment for him actually.

Owen Hart/Yokozuna vs. Nick Barbarry/Bill Weaver

Non-title of course. Cornette yells that a fan didn’t get enough oxygen as a fetus. I’ve asked this before but WHERE DOES HE COME UP WITH THIS STUFF??? A double clothesline drops the jobbers and it’s off to Hart to beat on Weaver. Barbarry actually gets in a hiptoss and they take turns working on Owen’s arm. Yokozuna will have none of that and finishes Owen with a Rock Bottom.

Rating: D. Just a squash here though I’m not sure what the need was after a successful title defense on pay per view the night before. Owen and Yokozuna were a good oddball tag team and held the belts for a good long reign, possibly due to a lack of any real competition. They weren’t a great team or anything really close to it but when there were almost no other teams of worth around, it wasn’t hard to stand out.

We look at some stills of Lawler and his mom (a twenty-something year old model) beating Bret last night.

The latest ad campaign: aliens want to destroy the world but spare it for the sake of the WWF. Ok then.

Man Mountain Rock vs. Iron Mike Sharpe

That WWF guitar is still one of the coolest things in the history of the world. Like, up there with Tang. Sharpe (How is he still around?) bounces off the huge Rock and gets crushed with an elbow. A Fujiwara Armbar (thankfully not on Sharpe’s bad arm) ends Mike in a hurry.

We see the house being given away last night and an 11 year old actually won the thing.

Stills of Jeff Jarrett/The Roadie beating on Razor Ramon until Savio Vega debuted for the save.

Savio speaks Spanish and I think says he’s here to work. Vince calms him down enough to speak English and say no one is going to hurt his friends when he’s around.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Mantaur vs. Bob Holly

Oh….dang man. Mantaur shoves Bob outside like he’s nothing and shrugs off some dropkicks back inside. We hit the choking on the ropes as it’s very clear that Mantaur isn’t very good. Mantaur slowly forearms Bob in the chest and gets two off a suplex. A rollup and missile dropkick give Holly two each and a high cross body is enough for the pin.

Rating: D-. Oh yeah this was bad and that really can’t be a surprise. Mantaur was as bad of a big man as there’s been since the last time Mabel had a match (so last night) but Holly isn’t exactly the most thrilling guy in the world. There was just no depth to the roster at this point and it’s showing more and more every single week.

Bob Backlund has a big announcement. Back at Wrestlemania XI he saw a sign and now everything has ionized. Backlund talks about the Olympics starting in 1776 and John F. Kennedy being shot in December 1982. Then there’s February 20, 1978, when he won the WWF World Title, which brings us to his announcement: he’s running for President of the United States and that means a marching band. Vince is STUNNED for a great visual. I’m actually stunned this hasn’t been referenced in 2016 when Backlund is around again.

Stills of last night’s main event and post match brawl with Tatanka and Bam Bam Bigelow getting involved.

Ted DiBiase wants a tag match with Diesel/Bigelow vs. Sid/Tatanka for King of the Ring.

I.R.S. vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Bigelow, now a fire enthusiast, brings out Diesel to be in his corner and sounds like he accepts the challenge. Diesel chases DiBiase off and we’re ready to go, despite that not being fair to I.R.S. Bigelow sends the tax man outside early on and it’s time for an early break. Back with Bigelow dropping a headbutt but missing its top rope cousin. Vince mentions Bigelow having a bad knee, which A, should have been brought up earlier and B, should have been noticed earlier.

We hit the chinlock for a bit, followed by an abdominal stretch to really spice things up. I.R.S. takes a buckle pad off (Uh, Diesel? Help?) and sends Bigelow into the steel for two, only to have Bigelow do the same (with the head clearly not making contact) and dropping a headbutt for the pin.

Rating: D-. Egads they’re actually getting worse. You would think a leg injury coming into the match would warrant an actual attack on the leg but instead it was a chinlock and an abdominal stretch. Also I hope this isn’t their way to launch Bigelow to the next level as a main event face because he just had to cheat to beat a career midcarder.

Shawn Michaels is coming back next week so here’s a video to get you fired up.

Overall Rating: F. Oh yeah they’re already dying and this is coming off a pay per view. I have no idea how they could have thought this was going to be a good idea and pushing Bigelow as a main event face, at least like this, is only going to make things worse. Now we’ve got tournament qualifiers on top of the bad matches, but maybe Shawn can do them some good. It certainly can’t make things worse.

 

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In Your House #1: Mother’s Day Mayhem (2013 Redo): The Short Form

In Your House #1
Date: May 14, 1995
Location: Onondaga War Memorial, Syracuse, New York
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Doc Hendrix

Other than the matches mentioned, the main story tonight is the WWF giving away an actual house down in Florida to play up the In Your House name. This was a major idea that was heavily promoted on WWF television leading up to the show. It was a nice marketing idea as it gave some adults a reason to care about the show and possibly buy it for their kids. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the clash of the giants as well as several other matches on the card.

It’s Mother’s Day, meaning the announcers are going to talk about moms a lot tonight.

The set is exactly what you would expect: a big house with the wrestlers walking through the garage to get to the ring.

Bret Hart vs. Hakushi

Hakushi has his manager Shinja with him. Bret is in the back and says he’s going to prove how great he is and that he’s dedicated this match to his mother. How nice of him. Hakushi is a very unique looking wrestler as he has Japanese characters all over himself, giving him a nickname of the walking Japanese menu. Bret grabs a headlock to start but Hakushi easily escapes to a standoff. Now Bret tries the arm, only to be pulled to the mat by the hair.

The fans chant USA as Hakushi takes Bret down with a flying headbutt for two. Off to an armbar as this is still firmly in first gear. The stupid USA chant begins again, or maybe they’re all fans of the referee? Now it’s Bret on the arm before easily armdragging Hakushi down again, this time to the floor for a breather. Back in and Bret pounds away as things start to pick up again. Hakushi comes back with a kick to the face and what we would call a Vader Bomb for two.

Jerry Lawler is watching gleefully in the back as he still gets to face Bret later in the night. Hakushi stomps Bret down in the corner and hits what we would call a Bronco Buster before stopping to pose. Back up and Hakushi blocks an O’Connor Roll, sending Bret to the floor so he can be stomped even more by Shinja. Another Shinja distraction allows Hakushi to choke even more as the crowd is getting into this. Bret’s comeback is easily stopped by a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, setting up a swan dive headbutt from Hakushi for two. Hakushi’s springboard splash misses completely and Bret is back on his feet.

Bret comes back with the Five Moves of Doom (Russian legsweep, backbreaker, middle rope elbow, atomic drop, Sharpshooter, pick an order for the first four) but he has to stop and deal with Shinja again. Bret pounds away on Hakushi but gets tripped by Shinja AGAIN, finally causing him to dive through the ropes and pound the man in the white suit.

Back in and Hart reverses a suplex into one of his own, sending both guys out to the floor in a nice crash. Shinja’s distraction allows Hakushi to get back up and hit a top rope Asai Moonsault to take both guys down again. Hart’s ankle might have been twisted in the process. Bret is pulled back in but has his rollup countered into an attempted German suplex, only to counter that into a victory roll to finally beat Hakushi.

Rating: B. Really solid match here and a great way to open up the show as well as the series. Hakushi wasn’t really much of note after this but that’s what Bret was best at: getting the most out of anyone he worked with. Really fun match here which had the time to get going and build into what it needed to be.

Bret twists his knee getting to the floor.

A way too excited woman looks at the entries in the sweepstakes for the house. We even get a video of the truck bringing the entries here earlier today. Seriously.

Jeff Jarrett/Roadie vs. Razor Ramon

Handicap match here after Roadie (more famous as the Road Dogg) helped Jarrett take Razor’s Intercontinental Title at the Royal Rumble. Razor’s normal partner the 1-2-3 Kid is out with an injury and calls in to say he’s watching the match. In the back, Razor also dedicates this match to his mom. Vince yells about Roadie and Jarrett both being in the ring to start, prompting Hayes to say that Vince doesn’t make the rules around here in a funny line.

Jarrett starts for the team and is promptly punched down and then slapped in the face. Roadie is lurking around the floor before getting back up on the apron. Back in and Jeff misses a dropkick before being clotheslined hard out to the floor. Roadie gets in a cheap shot to take Razor down from behind, allowing Jarrett to connect with an enziguri to take over. Not that it matters though as Ramon catches Jeff’s cross body in the fallaway slam for two.

Roadie comes in for his first match and scores with a quick clothesline and a snapmare to put him down. Back to Jarrett who gets a quick two off a sunset flip before Razor gets the same off a small package. Not exactly thrilling stuff so far but they’re not boring the people to death. After more basic stuff from Roadie it’s back to Jeff, only to have him jump right into a punch to the ribs. Razor is backdropped out to the floor and there goes his bad knee again. Roadie adds a middle rope clothesline and Ramon is in big trouble.

Back in and Ramon is dazed but still manages to roll through a top rope cross body from Jeff into a two count, only to be taken right back down with a neckbreaker. Jeff’s running hip attack only hits ropes but Razor collides with him, putting both guys down again. Ramon has the word Kid written on his boots. Back up again and Razor hits a belly to back suplex, putting both guys down one more time.

Jeff is able to make the tag before Razor can get up and it’s Roadie hitting a middle rope knee drop for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Razor fights up and jawbreaks his way to freedom, putting both guys down for the third time in five minutes. Razor suplexes both guys down but Jeff goes to the bad knee to slow him up. The Figure Four is kicked away though, sending Jeff into Roadie and a quick Razor’s Edge takes Jeff out for the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here but it could have been the same match in about half the time. On top of that the knee injury really didn’t play much of a role in the match after the announcers talked so much about how bad Razor’s knee was. This feud wouldn’t last much longer but it worked pretty well for both Jarrett and Ramon.

Post match the heels go after the knee but Portuguese wrestler Aldo Montoya tries to make the save. That goes nowhere so here’s yet to be named Savio Vega from the crowd for the real save, only to have him be taken away by police.

Jerry Lawler wants to face Bret right now but president Jack Tunney says no.

Video on Sid dominating his way to the title match tonight.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Mabel vs. Adam Bomb

Bomb is about 6’4 and over 300lb but Mabel towers over him at 6’10 and 508lb. Mabel has recently turned heel so he jumps Bomb before the bell rings. A splash in the corner has Bomb in trouble but he comes back with right hands to send Mabel to the floor. Adam dives out onto Mabel and pounds away before sending him back inside for a pair of top rope clotheslines, getting two each. Not that it matters much though as Mabel catches Adam’s cross body and falls down on him (think Mark Henry’s World’s Strongest Slam) for the pin in less than two minutes. Mabel was his usual fat and worthless self here.

Razor introduces the man that saved him as Caribbean wrestling legend Savio Vega.

Tag Titles: Smoking Gunns vs. Yokozuna/Owen Hart

Yokozuna was Owen’s mystery partner at Wrestlemania where they took the belts from the Gunns. Lawler is out here again but still can’t get his match with Bret at the moment. The champions are managed by Mr. Fuji and Jim Cornette. Billy tries to grab a headlock on the 600lb+ Yokozuna and it works as well as you would expect it to. A pair of dropkicks work a bit better but Yoko headbutts Bart down before bringing in Owen.

The Gunns can handle a guy Owen’s size and take him down with a nice dropkick/suplex combination, only to go after Yoko again for some reason. Hart comes back with an enziguri to take Billy down before it’s back to Yoko for a big clothesline. We hit the nerve hold on Billy before it’s back to Owen who gets two off a neckbreaker.

A great looking enziguri puts Billy on the outside but he avoids a charge, sending Yoko into the post. Owen misses a charge of his own and there’s the somewhat hot tag off to Bart. A suplex puts Hart down and the Gunns hit a belly to back/neckbreaker combo for another two before Bart misses a dive and lands on the floor. Yoko drops a leg to crush him ever further before throwing him back in to Owen for the retaining pin.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t anything great but with less than six minutes there’s only so much they could have done. The problem with Yokozuna is there’s only so much anyone can do against him and it makes it hard to work around him. Not a horrible match due to Owen but it still wasn’t anything of note.

Diesel is sad because his mom died right after Christmas so he wishes all the other Mother’s a good day. He’s sore from an attack by Henry Godwinn but says he’s 100%. Diesel is also glad that Shawn Michaels will be watching at ringside.

Here’s Jerry Lawler in the ring with his…..mother, who looks to be about 24 years old. She wants to see Lawler, who is in his mid 40s here, beat Bret and then challenge Bret’s mom to a fight. We cut to the back to see Bret almost dancing because, in classic Hart fashion, he faked the injury.

Jerry Lawler vs. Bret Hart

Jerry didn’t see the interview so Bret limps to the ring again, only to climb in with ease. Lawler tries to run but gets caught in the corner where Bret pounds away. Bret takes him down with a slam and some legdrops followed by a BIG backdrop. All Hart so far but Lawler comes back with a quick piledriver (his finisher) but Bret is up in just a few seconds. He pounds way on Jerry in the corner again before piledriving Lawler down for one.

Jerry comes back with a slam of his own while going up top, only to jump into Bret’s fist to the ribs. Bret pounds away but here’s Shinja to distract Hart for about the 12th time tonight. The referee is knocked into the ropes and gets his ankle tied up in the ropes as Bret hits the Russian legsweep. Hakushi comes in and takes out Bret with a kick to the head and two top rope headbutts, giving Lawler the easy pin.

Rating: D+. Again this didn’t have the time to go anywhere as the last two matches haven’t even combined to go 11 minutes. Lawler vs. Hart was a feud that went on for over two years and would culminate soon enough. This wasn’t the best entry in the series though but it furthered both itself and Hakushi vs. Bret so no complaints there.

Post match Bret gets up but Lawler escapes with his “mom”.

Sid very slowly says he’ll win the title and that he rules the world.

We look at the sweepstakes house in Orlando. Interviewer Todd Petingill finds some rakes in the garage so he and the annoying interview can mix up the entries before drawing out the winner whom they call with the results. Thankfully this only takes about five minutes.

The announcers talk about the main event for a bit.

WWF World Title: Sycho Sid vs. Diesel

Diesel is defending of course and Sid has Ted DiBiase as his manager. The idea here is they both use powerbombs as their finishers, which should tell you a lot about this match. Diesel fires off forearms to start and hits some running clotheslines in the corner to stagger Sid. An elbow to the jaw puts Sid on the floor and it’s time for a breather. Back in and three straight clotheslines get two on Sid as this is all Diesel so far. Sid pulls Diesel to the outside and knocks him down to take over for the first time.

Diesel is sent into the apron and post as the match slows way down with the challenger in control. A running boot to the side of the head has Diesel in even more trouble before they head back inside for clubbing forearms to Diesel’s back. Sid stops to pose, meaning he didn’t pay attention to the opening match. More shots to the back have Diesel in even more trouble and we hit a camel clutch. After about a minute and a half in the hold Diesel fights out, only to have Sid cannonball down onto his back for two.

Back to the camel clutch with Sid leaning forward, as in the exact opposite of what he’s supposed to be doing. At least pull your arms back man. Diesel starts breaking it, presumably out of boredom, and avoids a second cannonball attempt. Not that it matters though as Sid chokeslams him down and hits a quick powerbomb but poses instead of covering. DiBiase freaks out until Diesel is up at about two and one tenth. Diesel avoids a charge into the corner and drops Sid face first onto the buckle. There are the big boot and the Jackknife powerbomb but DiBiase’s other man Tatanka comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D. There’s a reason you rarely see matches with the same style going for a long time: they’re not very good. The styles clash is too much to overcome and when it’s such a basic style like these two have, it doesn’t work well at all. Two similar styles can work, but you better be awesome at that style. Sid isn’t particularly good at anything in the ring and this was a prime example.

Sid, Tatanka and DiBiase triple team Diesel until Bam Bam Bigelow, a man DiBiase fired a month earlier, makes the save. Wasn’t Shawn supposed to be watching live?

Overall Rating: D+. The opening match was solid stuff but after that everything flew by until the horrible main event. This was a bad time for the company as Diesel wasn’t very interesting on top of the card but he could have good matches with the right opponents. Sid was so far from the right opponent that he was left, making for a bad match. Not much to see here but things would get a lot better. Also, the show only ran for 96 minutes, which just isn’t enough to go anywhere.

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Monday Night Raw – December 18, 1995: The Tennessee Invasion

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 18, 1995
Location: Bob Carpenter Center, Newark, Delaware
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re FINALLY past the nightmare that was the December taping cycle and In Your House V. Bret Hart retained the WWF World Title (shocking I know) and Undertaker beat Mabel in the casket match (shocking again) and that’s about it for anything of note from that pay per view. Tonight we have Razor Ramon vs. Yokozuna for Razor’s Intercontinental Title. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last night, including Diesel and Undertaker staring each other down to plant seeds for Wrestlemania.

Opening sequence.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Fatu

This is Jarrett’s return after a long absence. Fatu dances a lot and makes a difference by atomic dropping Jarrett out to the floor. Back in and a shot to the head has no effect on Fatu but Jeff sends him throat first into the ropes for the running crotch attack to the back of the head. Jarrett rams him into the steps and actually has some success as we go to a break. Jeff slowly beats on Fatu but dives into a punch to the ribs. Fatu hits a powerslam and corner clothesline for two until he crashes down and holds his shoulder. It’s time for the Figure Four but Ahmed Johnson comes in to jump Jarrett for the DQ.

Rating: D. It’s not a good sign when Jeff Jarrett’s big return match is put in the perfect kind of spot for him and the match wound up being this bad. Jarrett just isn’t interesting in the ring and he’s not interesting on the mic either. Other than that he’s just fine though. That ending seemed to be improvised though as Fatu looked hurt off the crash landing.

Ahmed beats Jarrett up and helps Fatu to the back.

Gorilla Monsoon says Diesel can get over Undertaker being named #1 contender. As for the Royal Rumble, Jeff Jarrett won’t be in the Rumble itself because he’ll be facing Ahmed Johnson.

The graphic for Razor vs. Yokozuna is really weird as Razor is in the middle and Yokozuna is off to the side with most of his left arm cut off.

Goldust wants to sleep with Razor Ramon.

We see a clip from last night with Diesel getting in Undertaker’s face about Undertaker being #1 contender.

Buddy Landel vs. Bob Holly

Landel is a Ric Flair knockoff/ripoff/tribute character and even had Flair’s 1992 theme music here. Holly armdrags him down to start but Landel takes it back to 1985 with every Flair move you can think of, even down to his mannerisms. Buddy keeps it on the mat and starts working on the leg before getting two off a backdrop. We FINALLY get to the comeback with Holly hitting right hands and a clothesline but he misses a dropkick, allowing Buddy to drop a jumping elbow for the pin.

Rating: F. I sat through almost seven minutes of these two boring the fans to death and the best I can get is an ELBOW DROP? They had no idea what to do to counter Nitro at this point and if the best they can do is back to back old school Tennessee style matches like they’ve spent the first half of this show airing, they deserve to get squashed.

To make it even better, it’s the Brother Love Show with Ted DiBiase. The topic tonight: DiBiase having his answer to Santa Claus with Xanta Klaus, who lives at the South Pole and steals presents from kids. Now he’s going to steal victory after victory (oh dear) because 1996 is going to be the year of the Million Dollar Team and the Million Dollar Champion.

Raw Bowl ad. Did they really think this was some brilliant idea?

Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Yokozuna

Razor is defending and here’s Goldust to watch from ringside. The champ quickly knocks Yokozuna out to the floor to start and we look at Goldust during the lull. Back in and Razor hammers away with everything he’s got before having to avoid a sitdown splash. Yokozuna takes him down with ease and grabs the nerve hold because he already needs a break.

Razor gets up because it’s just a fat man nerve hold and hits some clotheslines. Back from a break with Razor having to fight out of another nerve hold. Razor fights up, stops a charge in the corner and hits the middle rope bulldog……as Undertaker comes out with a casket. Yokozuna panics and runs away because THESE TWO HAVE TO FEUD FOREVER.

Rating: D. Match of the night here until the horrible ending. Was anyone asking for another casket match between Undertaker and Yokozuna? Like, wasn’t the Undertaker’s spirit rising out of the casket and then Chuck Norris enough for us? Thankfully this didn’t go anywhere of note and Undertaker would move on to the main event and then his much better feuds in 1996.

Razor is actually flattered that Goldust likes him but he’s just into women.

And to wrap it up, Tell Me A Lie, a video tribute to Shawn Michaels who might never return.

Overall Rating: F. That might be the worst episode of Raw that I’ve ever seen. The first half of the show is spent on Jeff Jarrett and Buddy Landel, neither of whom could keep the fans awake let alone interested. After that we have an Intercontinental Title match with Razor bouncing off Yokozuna before Undertaker comes out for really not much of a reason.

I mean, there was the face crushing last month but Undertaker is getting a title shot at the Royal Rumble and is pretty clearly about to fight Diesel soon after that. Why do I need to see him with Yokozuna? Absolutely horrible show here with almost no effort, nothing interesting, and now I have Tell Me A Lie stuck in my head. Thanks Raw, for irritating me this badly.

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Monday Night Raw – December 11, 1995: GET TO JANUARY ALREADY!

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 11, 1995
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Attendance: 4,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for In Your House V and thank goodness for that. This show will see Bret Hart facing Bob Backlund in a non-title match which could range anywhere from a great display of wrestling psychology to one of the most boring matches you’ll see this year. Other than that we’re probably in for some bad wrestling from one note characters. Let’s get to it.

Vince and the King talk about how Bob Backlund is spreading a disease called the crossface chickenwing and Bret Hart hopes to have the cure.

Shawn Michaels will talk tonight.

Opening sequence.

Owen Hart vs. Jeff Hardy

Owen has Yokozuna, Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji in his corner. A knee to the ribs puts Jeff down as we see Diesel watching in the back. Owen punches him in the ropes and a missile dropkick makes things even worse. Hart teases the Sharpshooter but decides to just cover Jeff to make him obsolete.

Post match Yokozuna hits a Banzai Drop to leave Hardy broken. Am I allowed to say that? Owen gives him a bonus Sharpshooter, drawing out Diesel for the save. I can always go with a fired up Diesel hitting people at a run.

Aja Kong vs. Chapparita Asari

Asari is rather tiny, especially next to the monster Kong. Things start fast with Asari handspringing into back to back mule kicks, only to be run over by a Vader style standing splash. A hard right hand to the face sets up a harder suplex to plant Asari. Kong goes a bit ahead of her time with a package piledriver for two as King makes fat jokes because men in wrestling are horrible people. Aja misses a splash but avoids the Sky Twister Press (it’s as cool as it sounds) and SMASHES Asari with a spinning backfist for the pin and a lot of blood from Asari’s nose.

Rating: B. This was a squash but sweet goodness Aja Kong looked amazing with those hard hitting shots. Asari was destroyed but when your two moves are a handspring mule kick and the Sky Twister Press, I can only be so critical. Kong probably would have been Women’s Champion after beating Alundra Blayze if Alundra wasn’t a week away from trashing the title on Nitro.

Todd Pettengill sits down with Shawn Michaels, who says he’s feeling better and his symptoms are going away. Shawn thinks he’s awesome but Todd cuts him off by saying he had a great career without being WWF World Champion. Michaels says he’s got goals to achieve but Todd mentions retirement and Shawn is done talking.

Ahmed Johnson vs. Rick Stockhauser

The spinebuster and Pearl River Plunge wrap up the jobber in about a minute.

Post match Johnson says he’s ready for Dean Douglas but calls himself a man of few words. No arguments there.

And now, the bizarre portion of our show. We go to a kid looking at a police lineup consisting of Razor Ramon, Yokozuna, Hakushi, another wrestler and a normal person in Santa Claus outfits. The kid identifies the one in the middle as the man who told him that smoking is good for you, all wrestlers are wimps and SANTA CLAUS ISN’T REAL. The wrestlers then procede to BEAT THE MAN HALF TO DEATH, including Razor loading him up for a Razor’s Edge on the concrete floor. “Happy Holidays from the WWF!”

Raw Bowl ad. I still have no idea why I’m supposed to be interested in a football themed show, but I could go for Freddie Blassie as a football coach every day.

Here are Ted DiBiase, Sid and the 1-2-3 Kid for a chat. DiBiase says they’re one big happy family and Razor isn’t going to get his hands on the Kid without Sid being right there waiting on him. Kid knows you don’t worry about the fans because all that matters is the money you make from winning. Sid is ready for anything Razor and Jannetty can do because he and Kid are family. The beating is going to be fun and Sid is going to enjoy it. That’s about it as this feud really isn’t doing much for me.

Bob Backlund vs. Bret Hart

Non-title. British Bulldog’s wife/Bret’s sister Diana Smith is in the audience. Bret takes it to the mat to start and Backlund bails to the ropes. A headscissors slows Bret down but he comes right back with a front facelock. We go split screen to see Lawler interviewing Diana Smith and she doesn’t have much to say, as usual. To be fair she wasn’t a performer and it’s not fair to expect her to be a great talker.

The dull wrestling continues as the lights seem to get dark, implying that the fans are leaving. We take a quick break and come back with Bob holding his back on the floor. Bob starts in on the arm with the chickenwing but Bret is quickly in the ropes. Lawler spends this section of the match talking about music as we hit the armbar on Bret.

A Fujiwara Armbar kills even more time and we hear about Frank Sinatra’s birthday. The armbarring continues as this is dying before my eyes. Not before the fans’ eyes as they’re likely asleep at home by this point. Another break takes us to Bret coming back with his usual but Bulldog comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D. For a pairing that should give you a dream match, these two really don’t put up great matches most of the time they’re together. Maybe it’s the styles being too similar, maybe it’s the expectations the match creates or maybe they just don’t have chemistry but for some reason these two know how to bore the heck out of the audience more often than not. I can go for a technical style such as their Survivor Series 1994 match but this was just boring.

Backlund puts on the crossface chickenwing as Bulldog stomps away a lot to wrap up the show.

Overall Rating: D. GET TO JANUARY ALREADY! This month and the build to this horrible pay per view feels like it’s been going on for eighteen yeas now and the show still isn’t interesting. We have a rematch from three years ago, an uninteresting tag match and Owen Hart vs. Diesel and a few other matches that didn’t get time tonight (and likely shouldn’t have). The show itself would be better than the TV this month but that’s really not saying much given how boring this stuff has been lately. Another bad show to add to the December pile.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IH7O904


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6