NXT
Date: September 20, 2011
Location: Wright State University Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Commentators: William Regal, Jack Korpela

I’m not going to bother talking about the competition or what week it is anymore until we get to a milestone or something like that. I’m not sure where they’re going to go with the stories as a lot of stuff was wrapped up last week. We have the old guys vs. the new guys still but that can only go so far. Regal and Striker got a pretty definitive win but I guess it’s time for the Uso Era now. Let’s get to it.

We open with the Percy Watson Show. He’s been back a week and he has a talk show? Anyway he brings out O’Neil with both guys being in suits. Titus talks about it being a long 29 weeks and says they should take a run at the tag titles after the season ends. Here are JTG and Young with a rebuttal. JTG says he’s a tag team specialist. It seems like JTG is Young’s pro now. Titus brings up the Usos running them off last week and JTG calls the Usos haters. Watson says he and Titus dress better and a tag match is made…I think. They brawl and Titus/Watson clears the ring.

AJ vs. Maxine

We get a clip from last week with the match they had already where Maxine won. Regal talks about Maxine’s uncle being a Peruvian hunchback pickpocket. He also makes saddles for seahorses. At least both chicks look good. Maxine controls early and grabs a chinlock. Off to a Liontamer with her foot on the head and that’s illegal apparently as the referee breaks it up. AJ grabs a pair of rollups for two each and Maxine takes over again.

Regal talks about pulling hair and Maxine puts on chinlock #3 of a four minute match. AJ tries to speed things up and Maxine’s shoulder goes into the post. Spin kick gets two for AJ. Maxine tries that same move she hit last week but AJ kicks her in the back and hits a Shining Wizard (called that by Regal) for the pin at 5:14.

Rating: D+. The ending was good but dude, three chinlocks in a five minute match? I mean is that really necessary? This is match #3 in the whole Where’s Horny story and it’s already boring. Granted when you have the same match over and over again it’s bound to get boring. This wasn’t anything special but it wasn’t totally horrible I guess.

HHH’s movie trailer and the Raw ReBound (all about Ryder/Jackman/Ziggler and zero about the firing or HHH etc) eat up a bunch of time.

Horny is in the back with a letter for AJ. Maxine comes in and implies sex between Tyson and AJ. Maxine keeps walking and finds Bateman and Kidd. Kidd leaves and Maxine says they’re this close to separating AJ and Horny. They make out.

Yoshi Tatsu vs. Derrick Bateman

Tatsu takes it to the mat and still has the paint on half of his face. Bateman chops away and Tatsu has white paint all over his chest. Yoshi drops a Muta style elbow for two and Bateman hits the floor. Tatsu gets sent into the post balls first and there’s paint on the mat now. He needs to look into some higher quality stuff. Back in the ring and Tatsu gets taken down by a clothesline for two. Bateman’s offense is pretty boring.

There’s an abdominal stretch but he shifts into a pumphandle backbreaker for two. Now Tatsu has the same stretch on Bateman but that’s quickly broken up. Tatsu fires away with strikes and a running kick in the corner and a big kick gets two. Cross body off the top gets two. Another attempt is rolled through for another two. A big kick puts Bateman down but Kidd runs in for the DQ at 6:43.

Rating: C. Not bad here but can we do something else besides Tatsu vs. Kidd? The matches are pretty good but have been going downhill a bit in recent weeks. Bateman is floundering at this point and needs something to do besides this pretty stupid love thing with Maxine/Titus/AJ. Not a terrible match, but where does this lead other than Tyson vs. Tatsu again?

AJ talks to Trent Barreta but Titus comes up and Trent leaves. Titus says make up with Horny but she’s not sure. Titus leaves and Horny is behind him. Horny leaves after shaking his head.

Titus O’Neil/Percy Watson vs. JTG/Darren Young

Percy vs. Young to start and Percy gets a butterfly suplex for two. Off to Titus who powers down Young with ease. And now we’re talking about Air Boom. Watson throws on an armbar and it’s off to Titus again. All Watson/O’Neil here. Young is thrown to the floor as we take a break. Back with Watson beating up JTG. Regal thinks Young might have cauliflower ear from going to the floor. JTG is sent to the floor and talks some trash to Regal but turns around into a baseball slide.

Young FINALLY gets a shot in on Watson for their first offense after about seven minutes. It’s Watson taking the beatdown here from Young with something like a weak camel clutch. And never mind as JTG comes in and talks too much trash, allowing Watson to get his foot up. He can’t make a tag though as the match keeps going.

Young cheats a bit and Regal starts coaching him before he realizes what he’s doing. Korpela: “Hold the phone.” Regal: “What phone?” Regal also says that he thinks Young is ahead of all the rookies. Watson takes Young down and gets Titus in for the comeback. He tries what looks to be a spinebsuter but settles for an atomic drop instead. We actually get a Who Let The Dogs Out line from Korpela. The numbers catch up with Titus and a fireman’s carry into a gutbuster ends Titus at 12:00. That’s a surprise.

Rating: C. Not a bad main event but as always with NXT, there’s the problem of the same stuff happening week after week and nothing ever developing out of it. It’s not a bad match but is this ever going anywhere? If it is I certainly don’t see it. I guess this is supposed to set up the Usos vs. Young/JTG but are we supposed to look forward to that now?

Post match the Usos come in and hit their double splash on the winners, ending the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Eh this was just kind of there. It’s like they took a look back at some of the stuff last week and wanted to make sure we really got it so they aired it again. The Usos being on there is almost a guarantee of our main event next week. Not a bad show but it was pretty boring and there was little that made me want to watch next week. AJ and Horny are pretty boring but that’s NXT for you. Not horrible but weaker than last week.

Results
AJ b. Maxine – Shining Wizard
Yoshi Tatsu b. Derrick Bateman via DQ with Tyson Kidd interfered
Darren Young/JTG b. Titus O’Neil/Percy Watson – Gutbuster to O’Neil

NXT
Date: September 13, 2011
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: William Regal, Jack Korpela

With this episode, we’re officially as long as seasons one and two combined and longer than three and four combined. I mean dude, really? Do we really need 28 weeks of this show? I know I say this a lot but I’m still waiting on any reason for this thing to keep going on. The stories aren’t bad but they’re pretty low level issues. I’d bet on Striker/Regal vs. JTG/Young either tonight or next week. Let’s get to it.

Regal and Striker open the show talking about hockey in Canada and here are Young and JTG to break it up. “Hockey isn’t even a real sport.” Striker: “I will cross check you in the head.” The audio is a bit messed up and it sounds like they’re in a tunnel. Striker says Regal is better than both of them and Regal wants a translation of what JTG just said. They talk about respect and just get to the tag match already. After about four minutes, there it is. Regal says he is STRAIGHT UP GANGSTA TRIPPIN! He puts on JTG’s hat and we have our price of admission right there.

Bateman and Kidd vs. O’Neil and a mystery partner up next. Gee, could it be the guy Kidd has been feuding with for two months?

Derrick Bateman/Tyson Kidd vs. Titus O’Neil/Percy Watson

….oh joy. They’re bringing back SOMEONE ELSE now. Also Titus has his own music now. I don’t get the Watson idea though. I mean….why? He has no connection to this match or this feud but here he is on NXT. I’m trying to come up with people they haven’t brought back yet and no one is coming to me. Korpela says Watson used to play in the NFL. He hits an enziguri to Kidd for two. Bateman distracts Percy and the heels take over.

Bateman, called a big man, hits a dropkick off the apron to put Watson down again. They work him over in the ring with Kidd working a front facelock. Jack wants to know where Horny is. He’d be the last Pro to leave so it would fit perfectly. Off to Bateman with a one armed camel clutch. I guess that’s the one hump version. Tag to Kidd who hits a dropkick to Percy while he’s in the double hump version.

Percy snaps off a really high dropkick to put Kidd down. Regal forgets his name but the hot tag to Titus makes it a moot point anyway. He cleans house and runs over Bateman a few times. A slam gets two as Tyson comes off the top with an elbow to the back of the head. Bateman gets two off that but walks into the Clash of the Titus for the pin at 7:06. I’ve said it time after time but just put Titus on the main roster already, because remember that if/when he wins this, he has to go through Season 6 and compete against guys like Tyler Black which puts him at an unfair disadvantage.

Rating: C-. Pretty basic match here but it’s getting hard to keep coming up with reasons for these matches to take place. Again, what is Watson’s connection to this? Why would Titus pick him as a partner? I know he’s been on Superstars a bit but if he can just call up anyone, why not someone like Tatsu who has been against Kidd and has experience with him? I don’t get this show most of the time. The match was just ok.

AJ can’t get ahold of Horny and is tired of talking to his voicemail. She’s worried about him. Maxine comes up and she asks where is he. Maxine suggests he went to Palm Springs with the Bellas. If that winds up being true, I might die of happiness. She has a picture on her phone and AJ doesn’t believe it. This is kind of awesome actually. AJ leaves and Maxine says Photoshop is great.

AJ vs. Maxine

Maxine does look better as a blonde. Regal tells us that Maxine’s father is a master cobbler and an amateur ventriloquist. That’s either a completely true story or Regal is a genius. Now he’s telling a story about a pair of conjoined twins he dated that drove to England on vacation from America. I’m cracking up at his delivery. Maxine works on a chinlock/choke and Regal wants her to be ex-wife #17 but she’s too good looking for him.

All Maxine so far as Regal asks if the beautiful Divas worry about getting kicked in the face. It doesn’t matter to him because he looked pretty with a broken nose. AJ is very flexible and I can’t say I’m complaining. A spinning middle rope cross body gets two. She catches a kick from Maxine and hits a spinewheel kick for two. Maxine puts her in a fireman’s carry and drops her across the top rope before hitting a jawbreaker kind of move for the pin at 5:45.

Rating: D+. The match sucked but the commentary makes up for some of it here. Regal is absolutely priceless on a show like this where he isn’t being listened to or yelled at and can say whatever he wants and get away with it. The commentators are a lot funnier than they’re given credit for. Listen to shows like this or the old PPVs from England and you’ll hear totally different people than you’re used to.

William Regal/Matt Striker vs. Darren Young/JTG

It’s about 10:35 when this starts so they have a lot of time. Oh my goodness Michael Cole is coming out for commentary. Regal vs. JTG to start. The fans are behind Regal and we get an old school criss-cross. Like any good face, Regal stops and cheers JTG on then throws him over the top. Young is put in Shattered Dreams position and Regal/Striker pick JTG up and battering ram him into the balls of Young. That takes us to a break.

Back with Cole calling Korpela Jim instead of Jack. He bashes the main event and Regal gets an awesome bridge to get out of a top wristlock. Cole is blasting both teams other than Regal so at least he’s not playing complete favorites. He has literally not shut up since we came back from the break. You have to give him this: the guy has energy and doesn’t phone it in.

Striker gets beaten down by JTG as Cole runs down WWE for paying for Striker and Korpela to fly from show to show. He does however slip up and mention that McMahon is still in charge. Cole has still not shut up and is now talking about breakfast expenses run up by Korpela and Striker. I’m dying listening to this. Korpela tries to talk about the match and the story behind it but Cole is on a roll.

Cole says people on the street are talking about Darren Young. If they’re on the street how do they get internet access to watch the show? It’s been all JTG/Young beating on Striker since the break if you care about the match. If you do I’d recommend a head examination but have it your way. Cole is going on about hockey and how much the Maple Leafs suck now and it’s hot tag to Regal. Everything breaks down as Regal and JTG head to the floor. This isn’t good for Striker as he can’t beat Young. Now Cole is going off about Striker’s tan and Young rolls up Striker into that fireman’s carry gutbuster for the pin at 11:05.

Rating: C. Again, the match was totally unimportant but I was dying of laughter listening to Cole. He had such passion out there and went on so many rants that he won me over. The match itself was just there like any other NXT main event. If you have the chance and are bored, check this out for Cole’s commentary. I really found it funny and it’s not like this is a title match on Raw where it actually matters, so I don’t have as much of an issue with it.

Post match the Usos of all people come out to beat down JTG and Young. No reason, no explanation, they’re just there. That ends the show.

Overall Rating: B. I don’t know if it’s because I’m tired and a bit sore, but I had a great time with this show. If you forget the NXT competition and the fact that this has been going on for about six and a half months now, this is one of the most enjoyable shows you can find.

It’s a combination of people not caring because they know no one is watching and basic stories that are working (to as much of a degree as they can on this show) and it’s starting to work. It’s kind of like a lower level territorial indy company like an old OVW that is working week to week with whatever talent they can get their hands on and it’s actually starting to work. God help me it’s starting to work.

Results
Titus O’Neil/Percy Watson b. Tyson Kidd/Derrick Bateman – Clash of the Titus to Bateman
Maxine b. AJ – Jawbreaker
JTG/Darren Young b. William Regal/Matt Striker – Fireman’s carry into a gutbuster to Striker

NXT
Date: September 6, 2011
Location: Huntington Center, Toledo, Ohio
Commentators: William Regal, Jack Korpela

We’re back after a week off last week and now we can continue doing absolutely nothing with the rookies on the show! Anyway this is I think the 26^th week for this show, nearly combining the first two seasons of it. If nothing else we might get some more updates on the AJ/leprechaun romance and I for one can’t wait for that. Let’s get to it.

Jack Korpela, the guy from WWE 24/7, has taken the departed Grisham’s place.

We get a recap of Striker being interrupted by Young. Young blasted him and yelled at him until Regal made the save.

Here’s Young to open the show. He makes fun of Striker for saying the same thing every week. However he says NXT is over, finished and done. OH YES!!! THERE IS HOPE PEOPLE!!! And of course there isn’t because he says there’s no point to continuing it because he’s already won. He turns his attention to Regal and thanks him for wanting to fight tonight.

Regal grabs a mic and gets into the ring. He believes Young has a future in the WWE but beating people like Striker up isn’t the way to do it and Regal isn’t going to allow it. Young says stop stealing his spotlight. Regal says he doesn’t need it because everyone knows who he is already. He talks about how he’s committed more crimes in and out of this ring than anyone Young knows. Young asks for a match and Regal says if that’s what it takes to get through to Young so be it.

Inside Out trailer kills some time.

AJ/Titus O’Neil vs. Maxine/Derrick Bateman

The guys start us off and some of the camera work is cool here as it’s a lot closer than usual. All Titus the first minute or so in. Powerslam gets one. Off to the chicks and AJ hits a nice spin kick to put Maxine down again. Low dropkick gets two for her. This has been one of the most one sided matches I’ve seen in a long time. Naturally as I say that Maxine gets a two count.

We’re told Horny has coached AJ because he’s learned from DX and Finlay. Seriously, what are we supposed to believe that Horny has taught her? How to throw a spin kick? We’re supposed to buy that? Why am I questioning NXT logic anymore. Off to a chinlock and then an atomic drop. Scratch that and we’re back to the chinlock again. We get a double tag which is pretty pointless since we’ve established that the genders have to match. Titus cleans house and hits a shoulder breaker for two. Clash of the Titus and we’re done at 5:23.

Rating: C. Titus is so far and away better than anyone on this show including most of the pros it’s unreal. There’s no point in even having the competition anymore but I have a feeling they’re going to turn him heel eventually, saying he doesn’t need Horny anymore and they’ll drag the show out for another five months or so to flesh out that storyline and keep us from getting anywhere.

Maxine is yelling at Bateman over their failure. He brings up watching Dirty Dancing last night instead of Roadhouse and then they fight about hair. Maxine says they need to separate Horny from AJ and that’ll be what they need. This sums up the entire season: Bateman: “It’s so hot when you scheme against leprechauns.”

Regal leaves to get ready for the main event. Striker replaces him.

Here’s Tyson Kidd who says that someone has been messing with him lately, flashing Japanese characters on the screen. He says Yoshi needs to come out wherever he is. Kidd is from the Hart Family Dungeon so he’s the best, including better than Tatsu. Another character flashes up (Striker says it means pride) and here’s Yoshi….in a mask. The music is his and he’s announced as Yoshi.

Yoshi Tatsu vs. Tyson Kidd

He takes the mask off and has half his face painted white/red with a Japanese character and half is normal skin. Think Roddy Piper at Mania 6. I don’t get it. Was it supposed to be some kind of a surprise that it’s Yoshi? It’s not like there are many other Japanese guys in the company. Kidd takes over to start with pounding but Yoshi drapes him over the top with a release suplex. Tyson is on the floor as we take a break.

Back with Yoshi slingshotting Kidd to the ropes. Kidd tries to skin the cat (who thought of that term anyway? I mean who looked at it and thought of a cat being skinned?) so Kidd kicks him down to the floor again. Kidd takes over and after a beating we’re on to a chinlock in the ring. While in the chinlock Striker calls Regal the best athlete never to hold a major championship. The IC Title is a minor title?

With Tatsu in 619 position Kidd drops a leg from the apron which gets two. Back to the chinlock but Tatsu escapes with a belly to back to put both guys down. Out to the floor again and Kidd runs into a boot to the face to put him down. Tatsu goes up and hits a top rope chop and a shining wizard gets two. Striker asks if we should start calling Tatsu Hokori (it’s the Japanese word for pride so I probably misspelled that) and then says question mark.

Yoshi loads up a big kick but Kidd kicks the knee out to take over again. The springboard elbow drop hits knee, which you would think would hurt the knee a lot worse than it would hurt Kidd’s elbow. Either way Tatsu goes up but Kidd hits a running dropkick to take him down again. Tatsu blocks a super rana and a top rope spinwheel kick ends this at 10:32.

Rating: B-. These two have good chemistry together but the problem here was that Tatsu was the same guy in different color tights and with half of his face painted. He’s always worked hard and never given up, so why is this any different? It was just as good as any of their other matches so if you’ve liked them, you’ll like this one too.

Darren Young vs. William Regal

No entrance for Young. Regal takes over immediately with knees to the head of Young in the corner. Out to the floor and it’s all Regal. The fans seem into him also. Regal goes over to the broadcast table and grabs a headset, yelling at Young to apologize and Young says no way. Young reverses and sends Regal into the corner and he looks to be in a lot of pain.

Young yells at Striker because he’s not a nice person. Regal gets all ticked off but gets caught because the referee gets in the way. Young stomps on Regal’s hands and they go into a submission sequence on the mat which Regal gets kicked in the face for. Back to the mat and Regal takes over with a hard elbow to the face. The referee won’t shut up so Regal turns to him and apologizes, kicking his foot backwards into Young’s chest. That made me smile. Exploder suplex sets up the Regal Stretch and here’s JTG for the run-in but Striker takes him down! Running knee to the head of Young ends this at 6:50

Rating: C. Regal can still go in the ring and knows how to work a crowd and cheat like a master. Young on the other hand is as generic as you can get and is a great example of what’s wrong with the developmental system. The guy is built very well and is passable in the ring, but he has no ability to get the crowd into a match or against him at all. There’s nothing at all that makes him stand out from anyone else on the roster. The difference between someone that worked his way up through the indies and the old school way and the modern system is remarkable.

Overall Rating: C. I’m going to have to start grading this on an NXT scale, meaning for this show it was ok. The stories aren’t that bad but for the most part they have nothing to do with the NXT competition anymore. It was nice to see the rookies back in action though so at least there’s that. They were fighting announcers but at least they were there. Also it’s pretty clear that we’ll have Regal/Striker vs. Young/JTG soon, probably next week. Not bad here, but it’s still just NXT.

Results

Titus O’Neil/AJ b. Maxine/Derrick Bateman – Clash of the Titus to Bateman

Yoshi Tatsu b. Tyson Kidd – Top rope spinwheel kick

William Regal b. Darren Young – Running knee to the head

NXT
Date: August 23, 2011
Location: Scotiabank Saddledome, Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal

Yes we’re STILL in this season and now they’ve started bringing in other Divas like Maxine. You would think that someone somewhere would have an idea about where they’re going with this but it doesn’t seem like there’s one in sight at all. It’ll be more Titus vs. the evil two and no sign of the show ending at all while JTG and Striker have some random matches that no one cares about. Let’s get to it.

“A great main event.” Gee I wonder what it’ll be.

We’re in Canada tonight so who knows what the fans will be like.

Striker is in the ring and Young comes out to yell at him again. We get it already: Young hates him and has beaten him twice. PLEASE give us a loser leaves town match or something. Striker admits he can’t beat Young and after some Canadian insults Young kicks Striker in the gut and beats him down. Regal gets up from the desk and makes the save. Dude…..SERIOUSLY? You mean there aren’t enough people on this show already so we’re bringing in more from the announce desk? Whoever gets this show’s ideas together needs to start a workout series on how to stretch because it would be AWESOME.

Tyson Kidd vs. Trent Barreta

We talk about who the Japanese characters could have meant, including Kenzuke Sasaki, Yoshi Kwan or someone named Toyota. Why are announcers so stupid at times? The fans chant for Kidd (naturally) as Regal rants a bit. Regal rants about Young, calling himself and Striker “old veterans”. Striker wrestled in WWE for what, a year and a half? How much of an old pro can he be?

This is a can you top this match as both guys try to show off and neither really gets anywhere. Tyson takes over via the arm and down goes Trent. The fans popping like mad for Tyson Kidd is just weird to see. Forearm puts Kidd down and gets two. Kidd sends him into the corner and Trent gets the feet up but keeps them on Kidd’s chest, driving them down into kind of a double stomp.

Regal mentions his trainer, a man named Marty Jones and implies he kept Regal out of the Calgary territory for some reason that Regal isn’t happy with. Barreta has had four matches with Kidd but has never beaten him. That’s all you need for a little story sometimes and it’s fine for a simple match like this one. Kidd comes in off a springboard but Trent gets a dropkick to block for two and we take a break to talk about some video game that no one cares about anymore.

Back with Trent holding a headlock. I can’t tell what the fans are chanting now but it doesn’t sound like Tyson Kidd or anything like that. Out to the floor and Kidd gets a BIG kick to the head and something like a spinning DDT/neckbreaker to take over but both guys are down. Grisham asks about Regal and Young and Regal gets in a funny line with “I don’t hate anybody. Ok yes I do.”

Trent gets in a nice diving legdrop to the floor which gets two in the ring. This is getting some time and we’re getting a solid match out of it. Barreta goes up and gets crotched (Grisham: right in the capital of Thailand!), letting Kidd hit a top rope rana but Trent rolls through into a sunset flip but Tyson rolls through into a Sharpshooter attempt but Trent rolls through THAT into a victory roll for two. Sweet sequence there.

They slug it out and neither can get a solid advantage for a bit. Jumping knee to the head gets two for Trent. This has been almost great stuff so far. It almost sounds like the fans are chanting for Daniel Bryan. Double clothesline puts both guys down and Trent tries the tornado DDT but gets caught in a Canadian Mapleleaf. Lance Storm is in attendance according to commentary. And never mind as the Japanese characters pop up on the screen again and the distraction lets Trent hit the tornado DDT for the pin at 15:00.

Rating: B. Heck of a back and forth match here but the ending leaves something to be desired. I get that we’re setting up the idea of Tatsu coming back but can we just get back to the feud so that it can end and we can get a mention of an elimination? I know that’s a lost cause anymore but whatever. Still though, very solid match here as has become expected on this show.

We recap Maxine returning from last week.

Bateman is rubbing her shoulders and talks about how awesome they are and how much better they’ll be than other power couples. They don’t like AJ and Horny. Sex is implied.

AJ vs. Maxine

This is Maxine’s first match in a long time. Regal sings her praises and Maxine takes over. Horny is on the apron for this for no apparent reason. The crowd has gone from hot for the first match to dead for this one. Todd says Maxine should fear the beard of Hornswoggle. I can see the t-shirts now. AJ has gotten in nothing at all yet. Suplex gets two for Maxine. In a very telling/funny moment, Regal talks about going to get a haircut the other day and asking for highlights but only getting a DVD of other haircuts. Todd: “We’re really struggling in this match. Maxine GET THE WIN ALREADY.”

Maxine puts the chinlock on again and we hear about how she has a bunch of nationalities in her. So that’s what she’s done in the last year. AJ finally gets in a shot to take over and that lasts about 3 seconds. Maxine takes her down and Bateman is begging for a cover. Spinwheel kick takes Maxine down and a cross body gets two. Further proof of the dying commentary: “AJ going the aerial route and I’m not talking about the Little Mermaid.” Bateman shoves Horny down and the distracted AJ is rolled up for the pin at 6:26.

Rating: F. No. One. Cares. I haven’t heard a crowd go that quiet in a long time. I know Maxine has done some stuff in FCW that was impressive I guess but now on the main stage no one cares at all. She’s not interesting and is just another blonde chick that is out there offering sex to her male partner and that’s about it. Why should I care about another chick doing the same heel jazz?

Post match Titus makes the save.

Bret will be on Smackdown which is from Calgary and is GM for the night. Certainly can’t argue with that decision.

After seeing a sign that says Satan 3:16, here’s Cena vs. Punk from last night. You know the drill: it might be clipped, I don’t watch it and here’s the whole review from last night.

John Cena vs. CM Punk

Ace and Del Rio are at ringside. The fans throw Cena’s shirt back twice. I’ll take it if they don’t want it. This is a pro-Punk crowd. It’s a slow start but they have some time. The fans chant for the Oilers (hockey team) and here comes Cena. He goes into the finishing sequence very quickly. The Shuffle is countered into a rollup for two very quickly. Leg lariat sets up the corner knee and bulldog for no cover.

Punk goes up but gets knocked to the floor as we take a break. Back and both guys are down. Punk grabs the GTS but Cena escapes as does Punk from the AA. Another AA attempt fails and Punk gets the springboard clothesline for two. GTS is countered into an STF attempt but Punk escapes. Cena uses pure power to push Punk down into the STF where Punk is in trouble.

That’s a good looking hold but Punk makes the ropes. Cena’s shoulder goes into the post and the GTS gets two. They’re telling a good story as they know regular stuff isn’t going to work so they’re throwing bombs from the beginning. Punk goes up but the elbow misses. I love that tribute he does to Savage. That’s what it should be: a move done in his honor and the point to the sky is perfect in multiple ways for Savage.

Cena now goes up and hits the Famesasser for two. AA #4 is countered into a SWEET running knee for two. HUGE AA gets a very close two. Again I love the throwing huge stuff and almost nothing but huge stuff. Top rope cross body is rolled through into the AA but Punk reverses into a sunset flip for two. He sets for the GTS but here’s Nash again, saying it’s not over with Punk. Punk turns around and the AA sends Cena to Night of Champions at 14:25.

Rating: B+. Seriously were you expecting anything but a good match here? They have that chemistry that you need and it’s showing here. You give these two fifteen minutes and they’ll give you the top level match they’re capable of. Obviously TV is different than PPV but this was rather awesome indeed. Good match as the kicking out was good stuff.

Overall Rating: D+. I can’t say it’s a failure due to the great first match, but considering none of the rookies were on the card in a show ABOUT ROOKIES, it’s hard to say this was a show that did the things it was supposed to do. Cena vs. Punk is great, but did we need to watch the whole thing for over ten minutes while the rookies didn’t even wrestle?

This show has turned into an indy level TV show. You get one good match a week and then a highlight from a better show with bigger stars. Nothing is mentioned about the competition anymore other than someone saying they’ll win it. It’s really not a horrid wrestling show, but if you expect it to be anything resembling what it claims to be, you’re in for a disappointment/a big surprise, depending on where you stand.

Results

Trent Barreta b. Tyson Kidd – Tornado DDT

Maxine b. AJ – Rollup

NXT
Date: August 16, 2011
Location: Rabobank Arena, Bakersfield, California
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Michael Cole

We’re on the way to the sixth month of this show. I would make a joke about this show getting close to being able to having a baby but I’m not sure it’s a joke anymore. I’d expect more hijinks tonight with everyone talking about nothing in particular and nothing at all being mentioned about the show moving forward in any way at all. Let’s get to it.

We open with AJ, Titus and Horny in the ring. Is this the face faction now? Titus talks about Horny looking for true love and says he has something to say to AJ. Horny babbles a lot and Titus translates. Apparently Horny wants to propose to her. Oh give me a break. And yes, it’s a Ring Pop. AJ says it’s not about size (make your own jokes) but about the size of Horny’s heart. But she just said….oh never mind.

Bateman interrupts and says this is disgusting and that it’s not a soap opera. Titus tells him to leave and insults his jeans. Make fun of his win/loss record, beat him up, get more points than he does or whatever else you can think of, but INSULTING HIS JEANS??? YOU GO TOO FAR!!! Bateman says he’s not sure which one is the leprechaun and which is the troll. Horny goes after him and Bateman runs. AJ is alone in the ring and some chick jumps her. It’s a now blonde Maxine. THEY’RE BRINGING BACK THE DIVA ROOKIES NOW????? To be fair she looks much better without the black hair.

JTG vs. Tyson Kidd

Heel vs. heel? Really? Works for me I guess. Kidd has promised us something special next week in Calgary. JTG grabs a rollup for one a few seconds into this. The crowd is silent. Like creepily silent. JTG is wrestling face here despite being heel for the last 4 months or so. Then again is anyone paying attention to things such as that? Kidd speeds things up and gets some kicks to the head for two.

JTG hits Jay Lethal’s belly to back suplex into a neckbreaker for two. Half of the Lethal Combination gets two. Think he’s been watching some TNA/ROH stuff lately? JTG yells to the crowd but gets caught in a horribly botched looking rolling half crab (think Lance Storm)…and he taps at 3:10. That was unexpected. I guess JTG is a moderate face now.

Rating: C. The botch near the end hurt it a lot and the ending came almost out of nowhere. Also JTG suddenly being face is just weird as nothing happened other than Vladimir being released. Not sure what the point of this was but I guess it’s just to set up the whole YOSHI IS COMING thing. Granted that sounds like a really bad Nintendo ad but this isn’t the most well thought out show.

Post match some music starts for a bit and a Japanese/Chinese character (as in a written word) appears on screen. Does Japanese have written characters? Yeah we know: Tatsu is coming back.

Striker says he lost last week and he’s not making any excuses. Young vs. Striker II tonight. If Young wants respect, he has to earn it. Surprisingly good promo.

Matt Striker vs. Darren Young

Striker….strikes away to start. Well he lives up to his name I guess. He works on the arm and fingers to start but gets rolled up for two. Double clothesline takes both guys down but Darren is in better shape at the moment. A neckbreaker on the apron is broken up but Young gets something like a release belly to back onto the apron which looked good. A chinlock is broken up by Striker going after the leg. Why don’t more people do that?

Striker fires off and is getting all ticked off. He’s really improved in his long layoff. Striker takes Young down and gets two as Young gets his foot on the rope. This referee > HHH I guess. Young goes for that fireman’s carry into a gutbuster but Striker counters into a Backstabber for two. The fans go silent so Striker screams at them to wake them up. He tries La Majistral (and yes I know that’s probably not the right spelling) but Young rolls through into that gutbuster of his for the pin at 5:05. That was a good ending.

Rating: C. Striker continues to look good all things considered, but where does this lead? If Striker wins then Young looks even weaker than he already does. If Young keeps beating him, he’s beating up an announcer/host who came out of retirement a few weeks ago. I don’t get what the point of this is but the matches have been the highlights of the show recently. The ending here was cool.

Here are Bateman and Maxine. They’re holding hands so there’s your latest couple in WWE. Bateman wants the people to respect her and calls her his girlfriend. Maxine says Horny can’t handle a real woman like her. We’re just getting started according to her. Heaven help me.

Derrick Bateman vs. Titus O’Neil

For those of you that want something completely different I suppose. Regal and Grisham quote Bobby Heenan to liven things up a bit. Titus hammers away with power stuff to start as is his custom. Oh and there’s no Horny or AJ in sight. Bateman gets a dropkick for two. Bateman keeps hammering away while Regal talks about his turtle running away and the turtle (Speedy) getting mugged by some snails. This is the Gorilla Monsoon/Jesse Ventura formula of “we’re so bored we’ll do anything short of first degree murder to keep from falling asleep”.

The match is really boring, namely because we’ve seen them fight so many times already. Bateman controls for awhile until Titus starts channeling his football days and tackles Derrick a few times. Shoulderbreaker gets two. There’s the fallaway slam and Bateman hits the floor. Titus tries to get back in and Maxine trips him, letting Bateman get a rollup pin at 6:17.

Rating: D. It’s just boring. That’s the problem with this match: it’s just boring. It was so obvious that Maxine was going to cost Titus the match the entire time that there was no point in watching the whole thing up to that point. This story just keeps adding chapters for the sake of adding chapters and none of them are interesting. Thus is NXT.

And now we get the entire Alberto vs. Rey match from last night because NXT only has enough material to fill in 40 minutes. I have no idea if this is clipped or not but I’m not watching it again so here’s the review that I wrote for it live.

Raw World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio

The new champ rolls out in a bright red Ferrari. Rey is the hometown boy so he gets a huge pop. It seems to be the Undisputed WWE Championship now. We continue the old school weapon checks but don’t even get big match intros. Fast paced stuff to start but it’s pretty basic. Rey sends him to the floor as we take a break. The bell rang at 10 until 11pm so they don’t have a ton of time.

Back with Rey in a body vice and he pulls half of the mask off. Alberto takes him up to the top which doesn’t work at all as Rey takes him down with a tornado DDT. Wicked one too. Spinning cross body gets two. Rolling sunset flip gets two. Rey gets taken down for a bit but takes to the air, sending Alberto to the floor. Gorgeous Asai Moonsault takes both guys down.

Seated Senton hits and he gets Alberto into the 619 position. Alberto takes his head off with a clothesline though and complains when it only gets two. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets the same result. Corner enziguri gets two. Rey grabs a rollup out of nowhere for two to break up the armbreaker.

Dropkick puts Rey down and he goes for the arm again. Rey reverses into an electric chair position and into a rana for the 619 position. The call connects (hate that term but whatever) and it’s top rope splash time. Jerry declares it over which seals Rey’s fate. The splash hits knees and Alberto gets a small package for the pin at 12:50.

Rating: C+. Pretty good match here and Alberto wins clean which is something that he certainly needs. These two have chemistry and this was no exception to it, which is probably due to them having so many matches together over the past year. Good stuff here and it worked rather well for a TV main event.

Since a 13 minute match took 6 minutes to air, yeah it was clipped. We also get the close to the show with Cena saving Rey.

Post match Alberto goes for the arm and snaps it on the rope then puts the armbreaker on. Cena runs out for the save and wants a mic. Post match Alberto goes for the arm and snaps it on the rope then puts the armbreaker on. Cena runs out for the save and wants a mic. He rants about how much his weekend sucked and is all kinds of serious. he says Alberto cashed in a briefcase and got lucky. One days he’s going to have to defend it (kind of like he just did?) and if it’s against Cena, he won’t be so lucky. Serious Cena works very well and this was one of those moments.

Overall Rating: C-. The matches were ok, but the same complaints as always here: what is the point of ANY of this? Bateman now has some chick with him that hates AJ because….because AJ is a face and Maxine is a heel I guess. There’s nothing to see here as has been the case for the last three months or so. More of the same as always.

Results

Tyson Kidd b. JTG – Half Crab

Darren Young b. Matt Striker – Fireman’s Carry into a Gutbuster

Derrick Bateman b. Titus O’Neil – Rollup

NXT
Date: August 9, 2011
Location: Power Balance Pavilion, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal

It’s week….sweet mercy it’s week 23 of this show. This show started over five months ago. Think about that for a minute. What were you doing five months ago? This same stuff has been going on that long. The NFL season doesn’t run as long as the fifth season of this show. There hasn’t been an elimination in over a month. It might seem like I’m rambling here to fill in space. That’s because I am, as there’s nothing else to talk about regarding this season. Let’s get to it.

There’s a challenge ready to go in the ring and Striker gets cut off by Young. It’s something to do with eggs and spoons and finishing lines. Young says he’s not doing it and I think I know where this is going. Young says that Striker is just a wannabe while Young is a superstar. Uh…right. The obvious match is made.

Kidd says he’s facing Justin Gabriel tonight. Oh great now we’re bringing in MORE people to fight against people that have nothing to do with the contest anymore. Kidd isn’t afraid because he’s a pro. He also compares himself to British Bulldog and Bret. Ok then.

Summerslam ad.

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Tyson Kidd vs. Justin Gabriel

Regal points out that he wrestled Gabriel’s father in South Africa. Also Gabriel was the first rookie to pin a pro. That pro: William Regal. They hit the mat quickly and fight for control. Kidd takes him down and fires off some kicks. We get a Lance Storm reference as Kidd has been training with him recently. Kidd keeps his advantage as we go to a break. Regal stutters a lot as Gabriel counteres an Asai Moonsault.

After telling us to buy the latest top stars of whatever decade DVD and that bullying is bad except when it makes money for the company, we’re back with Kidd holding a chinlock. Kidd fires off some strikes and here’s another chinlock. With Gabriel draped over the bottom rope, Kidd tries a slingshot legdrop but lands on the apron due to Gabriel moving. Here’s the comeback and a spinwheel kick takes Tyson down. Roaring Elbow gets two. Kidd avoids the 450 but Justin doesn’t crash. Kidd goes to the floor and Gabriel hits a kick through the ropes and a corkscrew plancha.

Gabriel tries a springboard cross body but Kidd rolls through for two. They go to the mat again and get into a weird position. Justin grabs some kind of chinlock with his knee up but Kidd makes the rope. Kidd gets out of the way of another 450 and crotches Gabriel. Big kick sets up a springboard rana for two.

Gabriel grabs a sunset flip for two and we get a double leg nelson analysis from Regal. Kidd picks the leg and it’s off to a half crab (taken from Storm according to Regal). Justin rolls through into a pinning combination for two. Kidd gets his head taken off and Gabriel goes up but Kidd is in the middle of the ring. This isn’t a problem though and the 450 ends this at 14:45. That was impressive.

Rating: B. Very good match here as it was almost like an old WCW Cruiserweight match. The 450 to end it looked very good also as it was definitely the furthest he’s ever gone to hit it. The main issue with this match: WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH NXT??? This doesn’t have anything to do with the rookies and the show is halfway over now and we haven’t even seen two of them. Wait why am I complaining? This was better than anything this show has done in months.

Darren Young vs. Matt Striker

Striker has tights with his name on them now. I’m so glad he didn’t have those last week. Striker takes him down and hammers away almost immediately. Regal says he trained Striker (partially) on one of his off days. Dave Taylor is the one that really trained him though, also according to Regal. Young takes him to the apron and gets a neckbreaker out there which gets two back inside.

Off to the chinlock and then he rams the arm into the post a few times. Young snaps off a belly to belly suplex and Striker lands on his head. Young hooks an armbar because he’s worked on the neck so far and he’s pretty stupid. Striker is bleeding from the nose and grabs something like a Gory Bomb. And never mind as Young grabs a fireman’s carry and drops backwards to drive both knees into the ribs for the pin at 4:50.

Rating: C. Pretty decent match as Young has about his 5^th different finisher in about a year but whatever. I’m not sure I get the booking here. Why have Striker come back just to lose? What does it mean for Young that he can beat a guy that has had one match in four years? Striker looked decent and the blood helped it a lot. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was a bit shaken up either.

We get the same long recap of Punk vs. Cena from last night.

Daniel Bryan is actually here and talks to Bateman. Bateman is playing some video game against Cena. Bryan turns off the TV and says that Bateman has been making a fool of himself lately. Until he figures that out, he’s on his own. That means we have one pro left of the three and he’s a leprechaun.

Titus O’Neil vs. Derrick Bateman

The bell rings and the crowd goes SILENT. Titus hammers away early on but Bateman gets something like a standing blockbuster for two. Dropkick to the ribs gets two. Off to another chinlock which is broken up by Titus. The crowd is just not caring at all. Backbreaker puts Bateman down but Titus can’t follow up. Bateman picks him up and falls down, letting Titus get the pin at 3:30.

Rating: D. What was the point of this again? I guess they didn’t have time for the full Punk vs. Cena segment from last night so we got a quick match instead. I wouldn’t get used to this as the rookies are a special attraction anymore it seems. Titus looked weak here and this was mainly more about Bateman looking lost without Bryan, because he’s had so much experience with him since the comeback right?

Post match Bateman goes after the Leprechaun but gets taken down and there’s a Tadpole Splash.

Overall Rating: C. That’s on an NXT scale, not a regular one. Yeah the wrestling was better, but we had three matches: One was a pro whose rookie is gone vs. a former NXT rookie, a rookie vs. a host and two rookies fighting again. One match actually means anything and that’s about it. What is the end game of any of this? The crowd going SILENT for rookie vs. rookie stuff is a very bad sign and it just needs to end already.

Results

Justin Gabriel b. Tyson Kidd – 450

Darren Young b. Matt Striker – Fireman’s carry into a gutbuster

Titus O’Neil b. Derrick Bateman – Pin after Bateman fell during a slam

NXT
Date: August 2, 2011
Location: Rupp Arena, Lexington, Kentucky
Commentators: William Regal, Todd Grisham

We’re in week twenty-whatever here and there’s no sign of this wrapping up anytime soon. They at least have a story going here with the heels teaming up to take out the force of O’Neil, which is a lot better than what we’ve sat through for the majority of the season so far. More of the same tonight I’d assume. Let’s get to it.

This is being written on Wednesday, after I watched the show live last night.

We open with a recap of the last few weeks with O’Neil getting double teamed after dominating for months on end.

Here’s Titus minus the leprechaun. He thinks the alliance between the heels is cute. Titus says he’s the most dominant rookie ever so he’s not worried about Bateman or his family. During this promo Bateman’s video started playing but you can’t see it on the broadcast. Bateman and Young come out and Bateman points out that he beat O’Neil last week, which Titus agrees to. Young says he’s dominated NXT but Titus is in the points lead because he’s pandered to the fans.

Striker says that it’s not a bad strategy because the fans are 50% of the vote. Young says he doesn’t care because he doesn’t need the fans or a pro. Bateman says he and Young agree that Titus needs to go. Titus suggests a tag match and the heels agree, if they can pick the partner. Titus says cool, so they pick Striker. He protests, saying he hasn’t been in the ring in four years. The pop for this was a lot louder than it appears to be on TV.

JTG vs. Vladimir Kozlov

Vladimir is “gangsta” here. To be fair he plays it pretty well and the fans laughed at this which is the idea. The tag is on the back of his jeans still. He does a decent JTG impression. Actually he doesn’t because Kozlov is kind of amusing and interesting like this which JTG never has been. They stare each other down and do the comedy bit where they mirror each other.

JTG jumps him as Grisham says this should have been at Wrestlemania. Thankfully he’s kidding because even he’s not that stupid. Kozlov catches him and hits a fallaway slam to put him outside. Back inside and JTG finally gets a boot up in the corner to break the Russian’s momentum. We take a break to advertise an old video game (by video game standards 4 months is old right?) and come back with Kozlov getting a kick to the ribs.

That doesn’t get him anywhere as JTG hits a decent middle rope dropkick for two. We get a lot of rest holds here and the fans always started clapping almost immediately for Vlad to get out of them. Impatient lot they are. Vlad with the grill on his teeth is kind of hilarious. JTG gets his facejam off the top (Mugshot) for two. That starts Kozlov’s comeback which results in a bunch of power moves. Powerslam sets up the Iron Curtain and we’re done at 7:42. I timed the match last night and it was 8:00 even so not much was cut out.

Rating: C-. Pretty boring match here but it wasn’t bad. The comedy aspect wasn’t bad but then it turned into just another match. The fans liked the comedy but then the match turned into JTG vs. Kozlov, which isn’t exactly a great match that will have the people on the edges of their seats you know?

Post match Kozlov takes Grisham’s phone and planks on JTG. Yeah it’s still not funny.

Raw ReBound. This didn’t air until between Superstars and NXT in the arena.

Tyson Kidd comes out and we get a clip of him beating up Yoshi last week. He talks about his heritage coming out of the Hart Dungeon. In his WWE, there’s no room for stupid shrines or Yoshi Tatsu. In his WWE, there’s only room for him.

Sheamus vs. Henry video. That line of “I’ll fight him” is great.

Derrick Bateman/Darren Young vs. Matt Striker/Titus O’Neil

Striker gets a pretty nice reaction. AJ, who looks about 12, comes out with Horny and they sit in on commentary. Titus and Bateman start us off. Horny starts a Bill Cosby impression for some reason. Or maybe that was AJ. Off to Striker after Titus dominates for a bit. The announcers point out that it’s kind of odd that Striker brings his boots with him when he hasn’t wrestled in four years but Regal says it’s normal. Ok then.

Striker does pretty well for himself and it’s back off to Titus. Horny is making his usual noises and Regal is chattering with him. Titus sends Bateman to the floor so Horny can bark. Thankfully that takes us to a break. Back with Striker holding a headlock on Young. Striker tries to speed things up but runs into an elbow in the corner.

Bateman throws on a chinlock as Horny is throwing M&Ms into AJ’s mouth. Regal says he got a Rosetta Stone course in Leprechaunese. I give up. Bateman pops O’Neil to break up a tag. Striker gets a chop in but a forearm takes him down for two. AJ doesn’t want to talk about her time on NXT. I can’t say I blame her. She has a good voice. Bateman goes up but crashes. Hot tag with a dive to Titus. Domination begins but the heels cheat to get a sunset flip. Striker breaks up the cheating and the Clash of the Titus ends Young at 11:06. That’s about right with my time.

Rating: C+. Not a horrible match here and Striker looked pretty good all things considered. The main issue he has is telegraphing moves as he does stuff that makes you ask “why would you do that?” Anyway for a guy out of the ring for four years, this was fine. Pretty fun little tag match and a nice moment I guess.

The faces celebrate and we get a decent line to end it. Grisham: “Give me a hug William.” Regal: “No.” The bluntness of it is great.

Overall Rating: C. I’ll go with ok for this one. The Striker thing was a nice way to tie this together, but the problem becomes that the voting and competition is almost forgotten about. They’re running in circles here and it’s not interesting anymore. At the end of the day there’s one problem: how many times can we see these guys fight? The answer seems to be A WHOLE FREAKING LOT.

Results

Vladimir Kozlov b. JTG – Iron Curtain

Titus O’Neil/Matt Striker b. Darren Young/Derrick Bateman – Clash of the Titus to Young

NXT
Date: July 26, 2011
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal

Will we see O’Neil vs. Young VIII? Will Horny continue to think that Maryse likes him? Will there be more pro vs. pro matches that have absolutely nothing to do with the rookies whom the show is about? Can we actually manage to drag this out into our fifth month? If we go past next week we’ll hit that mark. I mean dude, it’s almost like they have no idea where this is going and are just running around with their heads cut off. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Tatsu vs. Kidd. I guess they get their fourth match tonight too. Isn’t that what Superstars is for? There’s a necklace on a pole match as Tatsu tries to put his shrine back together. Oh dear.

Titus O’Neil vs. Derrick Bateman

Bateman is in Creed/Balboa trunks since we’re in Philly. Todd says Bateman’s mentality might be to take O’Neil out of the competition early so he doesn’t have to deal with him later. Whoa whoa WHOA. WE’RE STILL EARLY IN THIS THING??? I’m sorry I need a minute. O’Neil dominates to start with his power game. Neither pro is here tonight and Regal wants to know where they are.

Titus grabs the arm but Bateman fights out of it. Ok never mind as he goes shoulder first into the corner. Regal says Titus has the perfect build for a star. Back to the arm as the crowd is dead. Bateman is thrown to the floor and looks like he wants to leave but Young comes out and says take Titus out. We take a break to shill WCW DVDs.

Back with Titus still dominating, hitting an elbow. Scratch that dominating aspect as Bateman gets a guillotine drop using the top rope to take over. Off to something resembling the inbred cousin of the Tazmission. Regal calls Bateman sloppy and Titus breaks a hold to give himself a breather. Never mind though as Bateman keeps stomping away. Apparently Derrick hates the bark. Regal thinks he sounds like a seal that wants a fish.

Titus gets a hard elbow in the corner to take Derrick down. Bateman goes up and misses something off the ropes so here comes Titus. Bateman charges into another elbow but Young interferes, allowing that weird bulldog kind of move (I don’t know what else to call it) to end Titus at 8:30.

Rating: D. Just going through the motions here. Bateman is boring beyond belief in the ring and I have no idea why they thought he’d be better as a heel. None of these guys are interesting at all. Titus has a decent look and that’s about it. No real point to this other than having all the rookies out there for awhile. Match was just bad though.

We’re going to get Cena vs. Mysterio tonight. As in the whole match.

Horny is in the back with his doll from last week and finds candy on the floor. He follows the trail of it to a note which we can’t read. It’s AJ, looking great in some jean shorts. She kisses Horny on the lips but Maryse comes up to make fun of them. Maryse really does tower over her. AJ smacks her and smiles at Horny.

Kozlov is doing what is apparently called planking (he’s on a vending machine and taking a picture of himself so I guess it’s a fad) when JTG comes up. This was part of the gangster bet which will be paid off next week. My breath is held in anticipation.

Tyson Kidd vs. Yoshi Tatsu

It’s a necklace on a poll match. Tatsu’s song is catchy I must say. On the necklace is the leg of the action figure that Tyson broke. Kidd goes for it immediately but Yoshi makes the save. They go back and forth a bit but Yoshi hits a spinwheel kick so he can go for the pole. Tyson hammers him down and we hit the formula for this match: one person beats someone down then climbs, the other person hits them in the back and we switch.

They go to the floor as I’ve never seen a crowd sitting so still. Snap suplex on the floor puts Tatsu down but Tatsu strikes back and a double knee smash sends Kidd into the post. Not the pole, the post. Another attempt eats steps though and back inside we go. Tyson stomps a mudhole and shouts a lot. Double clothesline puts both people down and Kidd goes for the corner. Yoshi tries to catch him and they both fall off.

We take a break with both guys down. You know, the match itself isn’t all that bad, but they’re fighting over a piece of an action figure. You couldn’t make this a bit more personal? Like a piece of jewelery that Yoshi’s family gave him? Something that somebody might see as valuable perhaps? Back with Kidd working Yoshi over and they’re outside almost immediately.

Regal tries to tell us that this isn’t to be taken lightly. I get that they’re trying and at least it’s not a totally cliched storyline, but this feud (which hasn’t been bad) is on NXT. Neither of these guys are on the show anymore as far as rookies go, so why are they here? Kidd puts on a Boston Crab on Yoshi using the bottom rope. Think of a Tarantula kind of. Grisham screws up and says Daniel Bryan is Tyson Kidd’s pro until Regal asks what the heck he’s talking about. I needed a bad flub like that.

Kidd goes for the corner but Yoshi saves (of course) and kicks Kidd upside his head to put him down. Yoshi can’t follow up though so it’s time for the slow climb. Isn’t it always convenient that the people climbing things in wrestling are REALLY FREAKING SLOW? Yoshi almost gets it but gets crotched. Both guys are standing on the top and Yoshi grabs the necklace to win but the Canadian hits a German to the Japanese to put him down. Yoshi wins though at 10:15.

Rating: B-. Not a classic or anything but this was a pretty solid back and forth match. At the end of the day though, these young guys that are having solid matches are fighting over a piece of plastic from an action figure from a shrine which hasn’t been explained on an internet show about rookies that these two aren’t associated with anymore. It’s a bit hard to get into it you know?

Kidd massacres him post match and hooks the figure four around the post.

We get a clip with music of Vince being relieved of his duties. HHH will be on Smackdown this week. Dang I wish that was next week.

We get the main event and the finale from Raw last night. I wasn’t paying a ton of attention so I’m assuming it isn’t abridged or anything. This is from the review I did of Raw so if it sounds a bit different, it was written during my initial viewing of the match.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Rey Mysterio

There’s a bigger border on the belt now. Cena comes out post break. There’s a Divas Battle Royal next week on Raw. Rey gets a kick to the leg to start and there’s a second one. They’re kind of feeling each other out to start. There are three more of them but Cena runs Rey over with a shoulder block for two. Rey gets a sunset flip kind of move for two and grabs a headlock.

Cena gets a belly to back to escape and gets two at the same time. Rey goes for the knee again but Cena dodges. He misses a charge though and hits the buckle chest first, falling to the floor. The dueling chants begin and Rey hits a springboard flip dive to the floor. Rey speeds things up but gets his head taken off by a clothesline. Back in and Cena gets a waistlock but Rey gets up and hits a DDT for two.

STF doesn’t work as Rey gets to the ropes. 619 is caught and Cena tosses him onto his shoulder for that sitout powerslam for two. Here comes Cena’s ending sequence but Rey fires off a dropkick to block a shoulder. Nice counter and it’s remarkable how few people have blocked that before. Rey tries to speed it up but his spinning cross body is caught in an FU attempt which is also reversed.

Both guys are down and Rey drop toeholds him into the buckle. Seated Senton hits but Cena tries to roll through into the STF. Rey counters into an STF of his own. Cena gets up on one leg into an AA position but the leg gives out and Cena collapses, right into 619 position. It hits this time and Rey goes up top for the splash but it eats knees. Rey tries a rana out of the corner but Cena shoves him off in something resembling a powerbomb.

Cena loads up the top rope Fameasser but it turns into a leg drop on a standing Rey which only gets two. The fans are WAY into this too and I can’t blame them as it’s been a solid match. Cena sets the AA but Rey elbows out of it. Another 619 is set up but Cena catches him in the AA and is champion again at 12:47. I can live with this I think.

Rating: B+. Solid stuff here as Cena got to show off his power and how effective it could be. I’m not sure what more they could do given the amount of time they had. Rey’s STF was a cool addition which we haven’t seen before on Cena, or at least not that I can remember. Good stuff here as both guys usually bring it in big matches.

Cena helps Rey up and celebrates with the title but some music starts up.  It’s a song called Cult of Personality……..PUNK IS BACK!  Cena holds up his title.  Punk holds up his title.  They stare it down as the show ends with Cena leaving.

Since this was so short, it was definitely cut. I wasn’t watching tonight (Tuesday) because I really didn’t want to see it again.

Overall Rating: D. Yes, one match was good and the one from Raw last night was good, but I’m not going to count Rey vs. Cena in the rating. It wasn’t part of NXT. It’s a Raw match and yes it’s good, but this has nothing to do with NXT. It gets boring when we have to sit through 10 minutes of stuff we saw less than a day ago, even if it’s good. Do they really think people that don’t watch Raw watch NXT? Either way, this show is just like the others lately: totally pointless and they seem like they’re just killing time until….something that’ll be pointless I’m betting. Anyway, one decent match and that’s about it.

The review will be up late next week as I’ll be watching the show live and won’t be able to review it until Wednesday.

Results

Derrick Bateman b. Titus O’Neil – Falling bulldog

Yoshi Tatsu b. Tyson Kidd – Tatsu pulled down the necklace

NXT
Date: July 19, 2011
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: William Regal, Todd Grisham

We’re at episode 20 of this.  I said episode 20.  With no sign of this season ending, I really do wonder if they know where they’re going with this.  It’s not like we haven’t seen these people wrestle a dozen or so times already anyway.  The show is in desperate need of ending but since apparently FCW is so bad they can’t find five others to be in this, we’re stuck here some more.  Let’s get to it.

We’re going to get the ending to Raw from last night later on apparently.

Maryse and Striker are in the ring and there’s a punching bag with Cole’s face on it.  Here come the rookies.  We go over the Redemption points which are totally worthless because Bateman has zero and O’Neil is so far ahead of everyone it’s unreal.  This is the Dummy Demonstration which is why Cole’s face is on it.  This is worth five points and apparently it’s whoever can have the best mini-match with the dummy.  Are you serious?

Bateman makes fun of Titus and says he’s sorry to the dummy and loves it.  I’ve been watching wrestling my entire life which is over 20 years.  I have never, in my entire life, heard a crowd go as silent as they do when they get the idea of what this actually is.  Bateman does some basic stuff and does something resembling commentary as he does it.

Young refuses to do it (give this man the prize right now!) because he’s proven himself already.  Titus says Bateman should try those moves on him instead of the dummy.  Whoever Young has faced doesn’t matter and Titus throws the dummy at Young who is on the floor.  They actually ask the audience who won.  Gee, could it be the person that has dominated the whole thing and is clearly the most popular?  This very well may have been the biggest waste of time since the Gobbledygooker.

OH BOY!!!  Now I get to watch Vladimir Kozlov vs. JTG!  I’ve heard of Christmas in July but this is proof that the WWE is officially inside my head and knows everything I want to see!

JTG vs. Vladimir Kozlov

Before the match, JTG proves why he should never be handed a microphone and why I believe western civilization is in its decline, all in about 30 seconds.  That’s impressive.  We have to sit through an ad for WWE All-Stars first though.  I wait on the edge of my seat!  Remember that there’s some kind of a bet that Kozlov can’t be a gangster or something.  I heard CM Punk has some experience with that so maybe Koz should go find the champ.

JTG takes over to start as Regal bashes him to keep up the tradition.  Middle rope dropkick gets two.  He takes Koz down again and stares at Regal before covering.  Regal offers JTG lessons in how to finish opponents off.  As long as he doesn’t go to Terri Runnels for advice on finishing guys off he’ll be fine.  Chinlock goes on as this has been totally one sided.  Koz fires back with his strikes but a powerslam doesn’t work.  And never mind as that Iron Curtain or whatever it’s called ends this at 5:30.

Rating: D+. Fine from a wrestling perspective I guess but could they be padding these shows out any worse?  Terribly boring match though as they were out there for a short amount of time and yet still managed to not be able to interest anyone in the crowd.  At the end of the day they’re fighting over incredibly contrived angles and that’s not going to get them anywhere, especially with uninteresting matches.

Horny shows Maryse the candy he got last week and she says it’s not from her.  He kind of humps her leg and she pours the candy on his head.  Maryse leaves and he gets another package, this time an Ugly Doll.  And yet that’s what they’re really called.

Yoshi’s shrine has been destroyed.

You know that line in the secondary theme song of “If I can make it through this, I can make it through anything” is WAY too accurate for this show.

Darren Young vs. Titus O’Neil

This is the 7^th match that these two have had on this season alone, not counting triple threats or tags.  Darren grabs a headlock which gets him nowhere as Titus hits a powerslam and abdominal stretch.  He shouts out to the Minnesota crowd and no one cares.  Big clothesline gets something close to a reaction and let’s hit that stretch again.  Young tries to walk out and that doesn’t go well either.  Darren gets tossed into the corner and crashes to the floor in a decent bump.  They fight to the apron and Young manages a neckbreaker.  Bateman (called Young by Grisham) comes out with a picture of Cole as we take a break.

Back with Young holding a chinlock.  We talk about Daniel Bryan to fill some time as Titus fights back and hammers Young down in the corner resulting in a two count.  Young stops him and we talk about some MITB cash-ins.  Back to the chinlock as Horny plays cheerleader a bit.  We get a Gordon Solie reference which is just an insult to his memory.

O’Neil gets a powerslam for two.  Horny tries to come in for no apparent reason and Bateman trips O’Neil.  Great line from the commentators: Todd: “Did you see that???” Regal: “No.  I’m an old villain.  I did NOT see that.”  Doesn’t matter anyway because Titus hits the Clash of the Titus for the pin at 11:11.

Rating: D+. The match is boring because as I said earlier, this is the seventh time it’s happened.  It’s not like this is Booker vs. Benoit and they can have seven entertaining matches.  This pairing is played out, mainly because we’ve seen it so many times before and no one cares anymore.  Scratch that.  No one cares, period.  Not bad, but Bateman added nothing to it at all.

Time for the Vince/HHH segment from last night, in its entirety.  By that I mean including the Vince/Cena stuff.  Huge moment and I can totally understand it airing here.

Overall Rating: F. Let’s see.  In about 50 minutes we had a segment that involved performing moves on a dummy which was won by someone that didn’t actually do any moves on it, a match between two guys who don’t have Pros on the show anymore and literally the 7^th match between the same guys this season, followed by a segment long enough that I was able to take a shower during it.  What grade did you think I was going to give this?

Results

Titus O’Neil won the Dummy Demonstration Challenge

Vladimir Kozlov b. JTG – Iron Curtain

Titus O’Neil b. Darren Young – Clash of the Titus

NXT
Date: July 12, 2011
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal

We’re somehow in week 19 of this show.  Think about that for a minute and try not to have your head explode.  This season started on March 8.  What I want to know is what they’re waiting on.  I mean do they really not have six guys they can throw on here?  Anyway we now have three finalists left again and there’s not much else to say here because the shows are the same all around again.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Bateman returning and he and Bryan winning last week.

Bateman opens the show and says this is his show, calling it the Super Terrific Derrick Bateman Happy Hour Extravaganza.  He talks about how awesome he is and how he’s here to save the show.  The fans really don’t seem all that into him here which is rather surprising.  After he runs his mouth for a bit, here’s Darren Young to read off his resume which is really all he’s capable of doing anymore.  Also O’Neil has nothing on him.  Bateman agrees that Young is good but not as good as Bateman.

Cue that leprechaun music to get on my nerves again.  Titus comes out and barks a lot but Bateman cuts him off.  When they’ve gotten to the point that they’re calling each other’s lines before they happen, you’ve been on this show too long.  Bateman says O’Neil will be going for cheap pops which Bateman is the master of.  “So you’re the Master Bateman?”  Someone pop in a DX reunion DVD.  The jokes have to be better than this.  Anyway Maryse comes out and makes a triple threat.

Darren Young vs. Titus O’Neil vs. Derrick Bateman

Bateman grabs a quick rollup for two to start.  That gets him nowhere though so Titus clears the ring because he can.  The two others decide to double team Titus to take him down as we enter into the standard operating procedures for bad triple threat matches.  Bateman gets a splash for two.  Bryan is the only pro out here.  Double suplex gets two on Titus.

This is elimination apparently.  The fans are a bit bored so they cheer for Bryan.  The boring double beatdown continues for awhile until Titus wakes up for a bit, only to get taken down again almost immediately.  Bateman is sent to the floor as Titus hits Clash of the Titus on Young but Bateman steals the pin.  Back from a break with Titus throwing Bateman around for fun.  Bateman goes for the knee and it’s off to a chinlock to make sure we don’t get excited about anything.

Nice loud chops by Bateman finally wake up the crowd for a few seconds.  Titus takes over and chops even harder.  And never mind as it’s back to Bateman’s control to waste even more time.  Titus starts his comeback and hits a backbreaker but barks instead of covering.  Fall away slam gets two.  Titus goes up and tries a middle rope clothesline but Bateman ducks and O’Neil kind of hits Bateman’s back.  Bateman hits the stupid headlock mat slam/weak bulldog for the pin at 13:53 shown.

Rating: D+. Just so boring here.  These guys can only have so many matches before you’ve seen it all.  They’re not even good matches in the first place so it’s not like we’re watching good matches when they’re at their best.  Bateman makes things a bit more interesting but it’s not like we’re watching Flair vs. Steamboat out there.

Video on Money in the Bank.

Yoshi is back at his shrine or whatever.  Striker asks why he’s keeping the broken action figure and apparently it’s something about honor.  Tyson vs. Tatsu III tonight.

Pretty long video on Punk vs. Cena.

Horny is drinking root beer because he’s sad about Maryse.  A guy comes up with a package for him and it’s from a secret admirer.  He thinks the candy in it is from Maryse.

JTG thinks he can make Kozlov gangster and they make a bet.  Gee do you think this is going to result in Kozlov wearing a funny costume?

Yoshi Tatsu vs. Tyson Kidd

Regal wants to know why it’s called a rubber match.  Kidd stalls a lot before we get going.  Yoshi grabs the arm to start which is rather quickly countered.  Dropkick by Kidd misses and Yoshi hammers away, sending Kidd to the floor.  Kidd takes over once they’re back inside and chokes him on the ropes.  Tatsu comes back but the Canadian hits a Russian legsweep to the Japanese off the middle rope.

Back from a break with Kidd holding a headscissors on the mat.  Yoshi gets up and gets a sloppy crucifix for two.  Kidd gets a floatover neckbreaker for two.  Isn’t it great to see two pros get the final ¼ of a show about rookies?  Off to a chinlock as the crowd is coming out of their seemingly eternal slumber a bit here.  Regal keeps me sane by talking about how when he had a heart attack his ex wife immediately wrote for an ambulance.

Yoshi gets a big kick to put both guys down for a count, reaching seven.  Here’s Yoshi’s comeback and he goes old school with a slingshot.  Here are some more kicks but Kidd kicks Yoshi’s knee out.  Dropkick to the side of the head gets two for Kidd.  Sharpshooter is blocked and Kidd is sent back to the floor.  A dive is blocked by a kick to the head of Tatsu though but Kidd’s springboard elbow is blocked.  Kidd gets crotched on the top but blocks a superplex.  Moonsault misses and Tatsu gets a rollup for the pin at 11:20.

Rating: C+. This again pales in comparison to their rather good first match in the set.  It’s like they’re trying to go out and have a great match which works about once a decade and it takes people a lot better than this.  It was pretty good, but at the end of the day they’re fighting over a piece of a leg of an action figure broken in a shrine.

Kidd jumps him post match and resteals the leg of the action figure.  It was stolen in the first place?

Overall Rating: D. The show overall is pretty pointless but the main event was ok enough.  Definitely not worth going out of your way to see or anything though.  There was also no word on anything else as far as ending the season.  That August 2 date gets scarier and scarier every time.  Anyway, another horrible show this week with very little redeeming value.

Results

Derrick Bateman b. Titus O’Neil and Darren Young – Headlock into a mat slam to O”Neil

Yoshi Tatsu b. Tyson Kidd – Rollup