Royal Rumble Count-Up: 2012 (2013 Redo) – The Ultimate Battle

Royal Rumble 2012
Date: January 29, 2012
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 18,121
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

We wrap things up here with last year’s show. The Rumble is back to the thirty entrant variety which is probably the best move all around. The odds on favorite is Jericho who returned very recently before this show. Other than that we’ve got Daniel Bryan defending his newly won world title against Big Show and Henry in a cage, along with Punk defending against Ziggler. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is of course about going to Wrestlemania.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry

Bryan is champion and beat Show at TLC by cashing in his MITB case in 45 seconds. Show beat Henry at the same show and ran over Bryan’s girlfriend AJ on Raw to set all this up. This is one fall to a finish and it’s pin/submission/escape. Bryan immediately goes for the corner but Henry pulls him down and Show runs Bryan over for two. Show crushes Henry against the cage wall but has to stop to pull Bryan back inside. Bryan tries to run up again but Show catches him by the ankle and slams him back in.

Show loads up the WMD but hits the cage wall instead. The champion fires off some kicks but gets headbutted right back down. Bryan kicks the knee out even harder and fires off some kicks to Henry to keep the other monster down. He goes for the door but you know this isn’t ending that quickly. Henry makes the stop and demands that the referee CLOSE THAT DOOR. Show superkicks Henry down and it’s his turn to take over for awhile.

Bryan gets slammed down but Henry is back up again. A few punches put Show down because a dozen chair shots usually can’t, but a few punches can. Actually that’s a great way to keep Henry looking strong. The fans are cheering for Bryan as Henry and Show collide to put all three guys down. Show gets back up and clotheslines Bryan down a few times before superkicking him in the face. The chokeslam is countered and Bryan hits a tornado DDT on Show for two.

The LeBell (NO!) Lock is put on Show but Henry breaks it up in about a second. The WMD gets two on Henry but Bryan makes the save, which ticks Show off. Bryan SPRINTS up the cage but Show chases after him and grabs Bryan before he can get out. Bryan sits on the top of the cage and pounds away, only to be caught again. The champion is literally hanging from Show’s wrist before finally letting go and falling to the floor to retain the title.

Rating: D+. This really wasn’t all that great. At the end of the day, it was a lot of the same sequence over and over again with Show and Henry not having a ton of interaction at all. The ending didn’t look great either and I’m not sure why Show would just hold him out over the floor like that. This falls under the category of “…..really?” as it’s hard to buy Bryan keeping the belt here.

Long video on Cena and all the stuff he does for WWE. The man is insanely committed to that company.

Divas of Doom/Bella Twins vs. Eve Torres/Alicia Fox/Tamina/Kelly Kelly

The Divas of Doom are Beth and Natalya. Natalya and Tamina start things off and they collide a few times. Tamina slaps her in the face before chopping Nattie down for two. Off to Eve for that bouncing moonsault for two. Since that’s a pretty lame move, Natalya charges her into the corner and brings in Beth who blocks a rolling splash with knees to Eve’s back.

Off to let’s say Nikki for some basic stomps to the back and a quickly broken chinlock. Jerry is asked what he likes about the Bellas and he can’t even get an answer out. Not hot tag brings in Alicia who is immediately sent into the corner and chinlocked as well. Alicia finally counters by flipping Nikki forward and makes the actual hot tag to Kelly. There’s the screaming headscissors and a faceplant for two. Everything breaks down and almost everyone heads to the floor, where Kelly hits a HUGE dive to take everyone out. Back in and Beth SLAPS herself in to hit the Glam Slam on Kelly for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was your usual Divas match: they did their “sexy” spots, they had barely there outfits, Kelly screamed a lot, Beth beat up Kelly to end things. One interesting note from a year later: would they even be able to put together an eight Divas tag now? I’m thinking through the roster and I don’t know if I can name eight girls on the main shows right now.

We recap Ryder getting hurt at the hands of Kane. This was during the period where Ryder went from one of the hottest things in the company and US Champion to a rag doll that Kane destroyed over and over and over in the span of a few weeks until his push was completely destroyed. Eve blamed Cena for Ryder having his back broken for some reason.

Ryder is wheeled in and patronized by Johnny Ace (remember him?). Ace has a private room set up for Ryder but Eve comes up to yell at Ace first. Not much here but it’s setting up stuff later on tonight.

Kane vs. John Cena

This is when Kane had the welder’s mask look. Brawl to start with Kane beating Cena down into the corner as the fans are split on Johnny. A clothesline puts them both on the floor where Kane is sent knees first into the steps. Back in and Cena can’t hit the AA on Kane. That makes sense as after all, Kane is probably 175lbs lighter than Show who Cena throws around with near ease most of the time.

Kane kicks Cena down and gets two off an uppercut. A suplex gets the same and it’s off to a chinlock. Cena fights up and is sent into the buckle for his efforts followed by Kane’s stupid smother hold. John tries to counter into a Crossface but Kane comes out with a side slam. The idea here is that Cena can’t get anything going at all. The top rope clothesline takes Cena’s head off but Cena pops up and hits his shoulder block.

The Shuffle is countered by a grab of Cena’s throat and a big boot gets two. Cena blocks a superplex and hits the Shuffle off the top. That’s certainly a new one. The AA is countered by an elbow to the face and Kane kicks Cena out to the floor. Booker talks about how Cena is a good kid. I don’t think I ever recall Cena being called a kid since like 2004. Kane pounds on Cena in the aisle and that’s a double countout so we can do this match again next month.

Rating: D+. I know that’s a common theme tonight but it fits here again. These two didn’t work all that well together and the story was even worse. Then again, this was nothing more than giving Cena something to do for a few months until he could get ready for the biggest match of his career. This didn’t work for the most part.

The fight continues into the back where Kane finds a chair to lay to lay out Cena. To the shock of no one paying attention, Kane finds the door to Ryder’s private room and kicks the door in. Ryder is taken to the ring and tombstoned as Eve screams. Cena comes out to try to save Eve but gets chokeslammed by Kane who walks away. Ryder does a stretcher job, but somehow it would get even worse for him in the coming weeks.

BE A STAR!

Zack is wheeled out and Cena is booed for it. That’s the part of this story that never held up for me: why is this Cena’s responsibility? Ryder was the United States Champion. He should be able to defend himself.

We get a video on the Rock just like Cena got earlier. It’s shot in the back of Rock’s car and is more like a mini documentary. It focuses on how insane Rock’s life is and all of the stuff he does around the world.

Drew McIntyre vs. Brodus Clay

This is right after Brodus redebuted as the Funkasaurus so he was still a new character at this point. Brodus dances a lot, Drew punches him in the corner, Brodus headbutts him and hits the cross body (called WHAT THE FUNK) for the pin in about a minute.

Buy Slim Jims! For the troops!

We recap Punk vs. Ziggler who is challenging Punk on Ace’s behalf. This is during the “Ace is boring” phase where Punk made fun of him no matter what he did, so Ace helped Ziggler get a win over Punk to earn a title shot. Ace is also guest referee tonight just because. He’s openly admitted he’s going to screw Punk out of the title tonight, so HHH is going to evaluate his job status the next night on Raw, meaning Ace has to play nice.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Punk is defending and Ace is referee. Johnny Ace is John Laurinitis but that’s a hard name to spell. Before the match, Ace says he’ll be the outside referee. Ok then. Wait we’re still not ready to go as Ace throws Vickie out as well. We finally get going and Ziggler tries a quick Fameasser which is countered into a failed GTS attempt. Punk tells Dolph it was that close. They feel each other out a bit longer until Ziggler starts strutting.

Punk finally gets his hands on Ziggler and puts on an abdominal stretch, complete with a wrapped toe and slicking back his hair ala Ziggler. Dolph heads to the floor and gets taken out by a suicide dive but shoves Punk off the top rope once they get back inside. Ziggler drops about eight elbows in a row and a jumping version gets two. We hit the chinlock with Ziggler cranking on the head way more than necessary.

The champ starts firing off chops and strikes before getting caught in the sleeper. That goes nowhere but neither does Punk’s Anaconda Vice attempt. Back to the sleeper but Dolph can’t get it on all the way. Instead there’s a perfect dropkick for two on Punk but the Fameasser is countered into a helicopter bomb for two. A swinging neckbreaker by the champ puts Dolph into the corner where the knee/bulldog combination actually works.

The GTS is countered into a slingshot but Punk lands on the middle rope. He comes off with a spinning cross body but Ziggler rolls through for a near fall in a cool sequence. The high kick gets two for Punk as does the Macho Elbow, drawing a Randy Savage chant. The GTS is countered again and the referee goes down as per the requirement in a world title mach. Punk hooks the Vice but Ace is checking on the down referee. Then Punk gets a rollup and there’s STILL no referee.

Ace sends the referee back in as Punk loads up the GTS, but Ziggler’s legs knock Ace to the floor. Ace sees the pin but refuses to count because he thinks Punk did it on purpose. Ziggler counters another GTS attempt into the Fameasser for two before pounding away a bit. The champ comes back with a slingshot and the GTS gets a pin from both referees to retain the title.

Rating: B+. This took awhile to get going as we were all waiting on the Ace stuff. The feud would go on for weeks until Jericho finally showed up to give Punk someone with charisma to feud with. The near falls at the end were a lot better than Ace, but it occurs to me that this was pretty much the same match he had last year. Good stuff though.

Rumble by the Numbers:

30 Superstars

1 winner

31 Hall of Famers in the Rumble

21 main events those Hall of Famers have been in at Wrestlemania

695 entrants who have been eliminated

39 entrants eliminated by Michaels, a record (Kane is second at 35)

13 consecutive Rumbles for Kane

11 eliminations for Kane in 2001

194,107lbs that have been in the Rumble, or over 97 tons, or 430 Big Show

421,883 people who have attended the Rumble

62:12 Rey Mysterio spent in the Rumble in 2006, a record

3 wins for Austin

1 second that Santino lasted in 2009

2 women who have competed in the Rumble

1, the entrant that has produced the same amount of winners as #30 at two each

27, the entrant with more winners than any other at four

55 percent of winners that have won the title at Wrestlemania

Royal Rumble

The Miz is #1 and talks about how he’s going back to the main event of Wrestlemania this year. His former apprentice Alex Riley is #2 which isn’t really surprising given how RANDOM these draws are. I always liked Riley and he always got a good reaction, which is clearly why he doesn’t get on TV more. Riley pounds away to start and runs Miz over with a forearm but walks into a big boot. Maybe it’s the old school fan in me but I don’t like a 6’0 guy using a big boot. Miz talks trash and low bridges Riley out with ease.

R-Truth, Miz’s former partner, is #3. Truth fires off some kicks and avoids the Finale before hitting a kind of powerslam. Miz gets sent to the apron for the second time but Truth turns his back to watch Cody come out at #4. A quick Disaster Kick puts Truth down (Cole says it hits Miz because those two are so hard to tell apart) and Truth gets double teamed for awhile. He manages to send Cody to the apron but gets caught in the Reality Check as the clock seems to be speeding up.

Justin Gabriel is #5 and things speed WAY up. A big spinwheel kick puts Miz down before Cody goes nuts on Gabriel in the corner. Primo is #6 to keep things low key to start. Actually he speeds things up as well and hits a sweet headscissors out of the corner to take Gabriel down. Truth hits the spinning forearm on Cody, only to be dumped out by Miz a second later. Since he’s still crazy, Truth pulls Miz to the floor and lays him out on the outside.

Mick Foley is #7 to fire up the crowd a little bit. He dumps Primo almost immediately before getting beaten on by Cody. Foley looks really old and slow here but to be fair, he is in fact old and slow. In a HILARIOUS bit, Ricardo Rodriguez is #8 but comes out in an old banged up, rusted out rental car. He’s even got the Del Rio scarf to hide some of his hideous pale body. We get a HUGE Ricardo chant as Foley and Gabriel have no idea what to do here.

Ricardo takes Cody down and pounds away before proposing an alliance with Foley of all people. They actually do team up and toss Gabriel, allowing Ricardo to do a CM Punk knee slide. We keep the comedy going with Santino at #9 and Ricardo runs from the Cobra. Santino beats on Ricardo and literally rolls him around the ring before pulling his trunks up and tossing Rodriguez.

Now we get my favorite spot of the match as Santino puts on the Cobra and Mick puts on Socko and it’s TIME FOR A DUEL!!! Before they can collide though it’s Epico at #10 but he falls to the powers of the socks and is out almost immediately. The socks COLLIDE until Miz and Cody pop back in (neither was eliminated) and dump Santino. Miz gets Socko but Cody dumps Mick. Fun comedy bit here to give us a good first act to the match.

Kofi Kingston is #11 and hits a double springboard clothesline before hitting a double Boom Drop. In at #12 is Jerry Lawler (Cole: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING???”) and he causes Miz to hit Cody by mistake. Lawler speeds things up and hits the middle rope punch with the lowered strap, only to be put out by Cody. Ezekiel Jackson is #13 and gets to do the usual power moves on each guy while the others lay around.

Jinder Mahal is #14 and the fans start chanting USA, even though the only two Americans in this match are Rhodes and Miz. Great Khali comes in at #15 and Mahal panics. Everyone gets chops and Mahal is out in just a few seconds. Jackson tries to pound away and is put out almost immediately as well. Hunico is #16 on that stupid bicycle of his and hits a spinning cross body on Miz and his Angle Slam on Cody.

Khali chops Hunico down as the ring is staying relatively empty. Booker T is #17 to surprise Cole. You would think he would have noticed that the man sitting next to him for over two hours wasn’t wearing pants but he never was considered that bright. Now we get the spot of the match as Miz shoves Kofi to the floor but Kofi holds himself up by his hands. Miz shoves Kofi into a handstand but Kingston WALKS ON HIS HANDS ACROSS THE FLOOR TO THE STEPS to get back in. FREAKING AWESOME MAN!

Dolph Ziggler is #18 as the ring is starting to get full. Hacksaw Jim Duggan makes his annual return at #19 to pop the crowd huge. He cleans house for a bit and we get a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER on Miz and Rhodes. Cody avoids a charge in the corner though and dumps Duggan in less than a minute. That’s the best idea at the end of the day. Miz and Cody team up to put out Booker and Khali at the same time.

We complete the trio with Michael Cole at #20. At the moment we’ve got Cole, Miz, Rhodes, Kingston, Hunico and Ziggler in the ring. Kharma returns at #21 in her only WWE match ever. She hits Cole so hard she knocks his headgear off so Cole eliminates himself. Well he gets to the apron where King and Booker eliminate him. Ziggler tells Kharma to get out so she DRILLS him. Kharma dumps Hunico but Ziggler sneaks up and eliminates her (Booker calls this doing the impossible. Not really Book.) to a ton of heat.

Sheamus is #22 to give us some A level star power. Well maybe B+ level. Things speed up with Sheamus destroying everyone and tossing Kofi out. There are the ten forearms in the ropes to Cody and ten to Miz as well. The Zig Zag is countered and Road Dogg is another surprise return at #23. He gets to clean house for a bit and earns a “you still got it” chant. In far less than 90 seconds, Jey Uso is #24.

Everyone pairs off until Jack Swagger is #25. After a few suplexes everything settles down into its usual brawling phase until Barrett is #26. He throws out Roadie and stomps away on a lot of people. David Otunga gets the lucky spot at #27 and poses a lot before he comes out. Not a lot happens so Orton comes in at #28 to pick things up a bit. Remember we’re in his hometown so everyone goes nuts.

Cody breaks up the RKO on Barrett so Randy hits the Elevated DDT on both Cody and Ziggler at the same time because he can. There’s an RKO to Barrett and he’s out. Chris Jericho, complete with a blackout of the arena, makes his return at #29. He’s still a face at this point and dumps Otunga to a good reaction. Big Show is #30 which was considered a letdown at the time. Dude, he was world champion a month ago. That’s hardly Darren Young coming out.

As Show comes in he pulls Swagger out from the floor, giving us a final grouping of Miz, Rhodes, Ziggler, Sheamus, Orton, Jericho and Big Show. That’s a pretty solid grouping. Show dumps Cody and Miz at the same time to get us down to five. Show tosses Ziggler as well to get us down to four. The big man cleans house but walks into an RKO, allowing Orton and Sheamus to pick him up and Randy clotheslines him out. Jericho dumps Orton immediately thereafter and we’re down to two.

The fans are entirely behind Jericho here so Sheamus runs him over a few times. Jericho’s bulldog is countered but Sheamus can’t throw him over the corner. Jericho charges into the Irish Curse but Sheamus can’t hit the High Cross. We get a great false finish with Jericho clotheslining Sheamus to the apron and then knocking him down to the point where Sheamus is hanging on by his leg. Sheamus comes back in with the slingshot shoulder but the Brogue Kick is countered into the Walls.

After the hold is broken Jericho gets knocked to the apron where he BARELY hangs on. They go to the top rope and both fall to the apron, meaning if they hit the floor they’re out. Both guys get back in and there’s the Codebreaker to Sheamus. Jericho gets Sheamus upside down but can’t get him out. A shot to the face ticks Sheamus off and he catches a Codebreaker attempt to put Jericho on the apron. The Brogue Kick sends Sheamus to Wrestlemania.

Rating: A-. This is one of those Rumbles that is great fun as you watch it live but it loses some steam on a second viewing. They spent a bit too much time on nostalgia and funny ideas here but they were still really good ideas. The ending with Sheamus and Jericho ROCKED and I have no idea why they never got to have a long PPV match. This is a really good Rumble but it never reaches that excellent level that some of them get to.

Sheamus celebrates a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The Rumble is a unique show as it has a way to save itself from a bad first half. That’s what happened here as the last two matches were certainly good enough to save it from the horrible first few matches. As usual the last two guys would both get world title shots with the winner getting the opening match instead of the real main event, but going on before Rock vs. Cena is hardly torture.

Ratings Comparison

Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry vs. Big Show

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Bella Twins/Divas of Doom vs. Alicia Fox/Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Tamina

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Kane vs. John Cena

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Brodus Clay vs. Drew McIntyre

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: B

Redo: B+

Royal Rumble

Original: B+

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

Just like last year, not much difference here.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/01/29/royal-rumble-2012/

That was fun. I really enjoy going back and doing these shows over again as a lot of them have great moments that you forget about over the years. The Rumble is a very unique show as it’s probably the only gimmick PPV that works almost every year. Over the years there have been a lot of gimmick shows like Survivor Series and most of them wind up being terrible at some point. The Rumble has been bad at times to be sure, but there has never been a period where the match wasn’t at least fun in some regard or valuable at the end of the day.

The best Rumbles tend to be the ones that follow the three act structure (dominant midcarder taking over to start, a lot of midcarders and lower guys in the middle, main eventers to wrap things up) with the best ones likely being 2000 and 2001. The comedy spots can help a lot as at nearly an hour, it’s hard to keep things serious the entire time. The only bad thing about it anymore is that it comes right before Elimination Chamber which takes away the feeling of the Road to Wrestlemania. Still though, it’s an excellent series and most are worth seeing if you haven’t before.

Speaking of Wrestlemania, I’ll be releasing the Redo series of that starting on March 10. I hope you enjoyed this as I did and it’s time for Wrestlemania season.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Monday Night Raw – July 22, 2013: A Night Of Wrestling

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 22, 2013
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming off an awesome Raw last week so there are good hopes for another solid show tonight. The main stories tonight will be Punk vs. Heyman/Lesnar and Cena vs. Bryan as we head towards Summerslam. The key different with these stories is the people have been clamoring for them for months now and we’re FINALLY getting to see them. It’s not some idea that is being shoved down our throats but rather something logical and story driven which is the right idea. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

We open with the contract signing between Cena and Bryan with Maddox as the moderator. Brad wants to know why Cena picked Bryan and Cena says it was because of Maddox. Maddox wanted to listen to the fans and they were all chanting YES. Brad suggests that Cena picked Maddox because it’s an easy win, but here’s Bryan to defend himself. Cena goes into a rant about how it isn’t size that makes a competitor and he picked Bryan as the challenger because he deserved it. If size is what makes a champion, Maddox can hand the title to Great Khali, but Cena has names like HBK, Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio.

Cena says Bryan is giving him a chance to compete, because Cena is going to fight back. Bryan might be the best right now, but at Summerslam the best isn’t going to be good enough and Cena signs. Bryan signs and starts to talk but Maddox cuts him off. Bryan cuts Maddox off and says Brad doesn’t get to talk when Bryan wants to. Maddox asks Bryan if he deserves this because not everyone thinks he does. Tonight Bryan gets to prove himself in a few matches against opponents to be named.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus

Non-title again and Sheamus has a BIG bruise on his thigh from MITB. Del Rio kicks him in the bruised leg but Sheamus sends him into the corner for a quick shoulder into the ribs. A neckbreaker gets two on Del Rio but he superkicks Sheamus out of the corner to take over. Sheamus comes back with forearms out of the corner and a snap suplex for two more. Del Rio kicks the leg out again and stomps away as this is still a basic match so far.

The armbreaker across the top rope cranks on Sheamus’ arm but he punches Del Rio to the floor as we take a break. Back with Del Rio getting two off a German suplex and Sheamus winning a slugout. He hits a series of ax handles to the head and a knee lift for two. Del Rio hits the Backstabber for two and a hard kick to the back keeps Sheamus down.

Alberto misses a charge and gets caught in the ten forearms to the chest followed by the Irish Curse for two. The champion comes back with a running enziguri to knock Sheamus off the top and a superkick to the bad leg. The armbreaker is easily countered but Sheamus’ leg buckles as he goes for White Noise, giving Del Rio the pin at 13:23.

Rating: C+. I liked this more than I thought I would due to the psychology. Del Rio working over the arm here would have been idiotic but thankfully he went after the bad leg up until the end and that leg work played into the finish. That’s what I mean when I talk about building on a story and it worked fine here. Also Del Rio actually won a match against a big opponent!

Booker T and Teddy Long bicker over who was more surprised by Vickie being named permanent GM of Smackdown. Teddy suggests that Booker left him holding the bag but Booker says he was out with an injury. Long also suggests that Booker should have been fired if Teddy was getting the job full time.

Christian vs. Titus O’Neal

Christian pops him in the jaw with a right hand but gets caught by a shoulder block. The Canadian’s middle rope cross body is caught in a backbreaker to send him to the floor. Titus picks him up on his shoulder and walks Christian back in the ring for two in an impressive power display. Off to an abdominal stretch for a few moments but Christian fights back with some hard right hands. A jumping back elbow off the middle rope looks to set up the Killswitch but Christian has to dropkick Young to the floor. Titus gets two off a big boot but Christian escapes a slam into the Killswitch for the pin at 4:38.

Rating: C. Titus looked much better here than he has before but unfortunately he appears to be stuck int his jobber role because of being part of a team. It doesn’t help that he’s in his late 30s and got into the sport pretty late in life. Still though, nice performance here and there’s definitely some potential in the guy.

After a clip of him destroying Jericho, Ryback says he enjoys attacking people because he hates average. It seems that we’re dropping the whiner gimmick.

Here’s Mark Henry with something to say. He’s proud of the effort he put into his match with Cena, but he’s not proud of the beating Shield gave him last week. If they want to fight him, he’s right here. Cue Shield to easily destroy Henry until the Usos come out for the save and to send Shield running.

Cena comes up to see Bryan in the back and offer his support in the three matches tonight. Bryan appreciates it but politely declines. Tonight is Bryan’s chance to prove himself and he’s going to win on his own. If Cena comes out there at all, it proves that Cena didn’t mean a thing he said earlier tonight.

Darren Young vs. Dolph Ziggler

The fans chant for Ziggler who gets a quick rollup for no cover. A dropkick gets two on Young but he drops Ziggler with a hot shot to take over. Off to a chinlock on Dolph as this appears to be one of those short matches that needs a rest hold for some reason. Ziggler escapes with a jawbreaker and hits a splash in the corner followed by a hard clothesline for two. Dolph gets caught on Young’s shoulders and driven face first into the mat for a close two, but Young spends too much time talking trash and gets caught in the Zig Zag for the pin at 4:30.

Rating: D. Did we really need a chinlock in a match that didn’t even make it five minutes? Young continues to be as generic as any guy you could pick up off the street, which makes me wonder why that team is still together. Either way this wasn’t interesting at all and it never felt like Ziggler was in jeopardy. With Titus’ match, there was a chance of Christian losing which made it more interesting.

Post match Langston runs out to beat down Dolph but Ziggler beats him to the punch and sends him to the floor.

Here’s a walk through of how to download the WWE App for the idiots in the audience.

It’s time for MizTV with the cast of the Total Divas as the guests. We get a clip of the show with one of the Divas DOING HER HAIR! Miz introduces the cast and then turns it over to Lawler to emcee this nonsense. Eve Marie, one of the new chicks, doesn’t like how Lawler is looking at her and slaps him to make a name for herself. And that’s it.

HHH tells Maddox that he doesn’t care what Vince thinks because Bryan might be the future of the WWE. He didn’t stop Maddox’s decisions earlier because Bryan can overcome anything thrown at him. Maddox needs to pick which train he’s on because one is the future and the other is a dead end. HHH leaves and Stephanie pops in with an idea which we’ll hear about later.

Video on the Wyatt Family so far.

Fandango vs. Cody Rhodes

Sandow is on commentary. Feeling out process to start with Fandango hitting a shoulder block and dancing a lot. He dances a bit too much and gets caught by a dropkick to send him into the corner. Cody charges into a boot in the corner for one and it’s off to a cravate. Fandango pulls at Cody’s mouth and it’s right back to the cravate. Cody comes back with a right hand and a kick to the low abdomen before loading up a moonsault press which barely connected at all. Sandow tries to interfere but Cody sidesteps a charging Fandango to send him into Damien. The Disaster Kick sets up Cross Rhodes for the pin at 3:17.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much to see but it was nice to see Cody getting a win again. The guy had so much potential a few years ago and it stopped dead for well over a year. Sandow vs. Rhodes is a good way to get Cody back on track and the fans are going to be into it when it happens if it’s done right.

Here’s a limping Punk to talk about Lesnar’s attack last week. Punk says last week he felt Lesnar’s power and took Lesnar’s best shot. He felt the power of Lesnar and has an injured ankle and staples in his head, but he’s still standing here today. Lesnar is a beast who has dominated people like HHH and John Cena because of one thing: fear. It’s not his power or his speed but the fear that Lesnar puts into people that make him so dominant. Punk isn’t afraid of Lesnar’s power, he’s not afraid of Lesnar’s size and he’s not afraid of Brock Lesnar at all.

This brings Punk to Paul Heyman. Punk talks about being a relentless man who is going to keep fighting until Lesnar is left laying like Punk was last week. This is Punk’s ring and he has proven it against John Cena, the Rock and Undertaker. There will not be another beatdown from Lesnar and Punk is going to get his hands on Heyman to make him pay. Brock Lesnar is a monster who was put on this earth to be slayed at CM Punk’s hands and Punk wants to do it at Summerslam in the Best vs. the Beast.

Heyman pops up on screen and talks about the tagline of Best vs. Beast. Punk cuts him off and asks if Heyman is really on satellite, because if he’s really back there then Punk is going to go backstage, drag him out here and destroy Heyman in front of the people of Austin. Heyman talks to Brock off screen and makes fun of Texas before asking Punk if he’s a coward or a fool. Punk says he’ll answer that at Summerslam and wants to know where Heyman is right now so he can take him out tonight. Heyman accepts the challenge for Summerslam and says the Best is the Beast, and Punk will learn that at Summerslam.

Wade Barrett vs. Rob Van Dam

Barrett takes over to start with a knee lift and a big boot to the face to send Van Dam into the ropes for two. The announcers make stupid jokes about Barrett’s nose as Barrett gets two more off a chinlock. Wade charges into a foot in the corner followed by a top rope kick to set up Rolling Thunder. A top rope front flip gets two for RVD and the Five Star is good for the pin at 4:15.

Rating: C-. This was just a step above a squash with Barrett getting in some decent offense before taking the loss. I don’t remember anyone falling as far as Barrett has while holding a title as long as he did. He hasn’t won anything close to a big match in months and is nothing but a jobber to the stars at this point.

Daniel Bryan vs. Jack Swagger

This is the first of an undetermined amount of matches for Bryan. Colter says that Stephen F. Austin isn’t the father of this country as he didn’t fight for the right to allow people to chant YES. Bryan isn’t a Real American because he took a handout last week from John Cena and tonight he gets to face a Real American in Swagger. Bryan gets a quick rollup for one but Swagger takes out his leg to put him down.

Swagger pounds on him in the corner but walks into a dropkick to send him to the floor. The FLYING GOAT is countered with a forearm to the face and Swagger drops the Vader Bomb for two. He loads up the Patriot Lock but gets caught in the YES Lock for the first submission at 2:57.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Daniel Bryan

This is joined in progress after a break with Cesaro holding Bryan in an armbar. Lawler tells us we need to download the App so we can see action like he’s showing us right now. Cesaro whips Bryan into the corner for two and puts on the standing chinlock. Bryan takes him down and hits the double leg stomp out of the surfboard. Cesaro comes back with a pure power suplex and another hard chinlock but Bryan easily fights up and hits the running clothesline followed by the kicks to the chest. A running dropkick in the corner gets two on Cesaro but Swagger shoves Bryan off the top into the uppercut for two.

Back from a break with Cesaro getting two off the gutwrench suplex. A kind of Death Valley Driver gets two but Bryan comes back with a hard kick to the head for two of his own. Cesaro takes him to the corner for a superplex but gets forearmed and kneed down, only to have Cesaro come back with a top rope superplex attempt. Bryan slips through his legs and gets Cesaro in the Tree of Woe for a bunch of kicks, capped off by the delayed running dropkick to the face.

A belly to back superplex is countered into a crossbody to give Antonio two as this is getting really good. Back up and Cesaro DESTROYS Bryan with about 25 uppercuts in a row followed by a huge clothesline for two. Bryan backdrops out of the Neutralizer and starts firing off forearms before putting on a leg lock and pounding away with driving forearms to the face. Cesaro is sent to the floor and the FLYING GOAT takes out the Real Americans. Back in and Cesaro tries to throw Bryan in the air for the uppercut but Bryan comes down into a small package for the pin at approximately 15:00 shown.

Rating: A-. Someone explain to me why Cesaro isn’t one of the three top heels in this company right now. He could EASILY being in Del Rio’s spot and blowing away everything he does. Both guys looked great here and this is probably a match of the year candidate. Great stuff and I want more Cesaro right now.

Maddox is in the back with Alex Riley next to him of all people. Bryan has a third opponent after the break.

Daniel Bryan vs. Ryback

Bryan goes right for Ryback’s bad leg but Ryback easily knocks him down. Ryback shouts that Bryan is a little man in a big man’s world and chokes him him with a boot. The stupid fans chant that Ryback can’t wrestle so Ryback suplexes Bryan down for two. We hit a quick chinlock with Ryback shouting that this is too easy. Ryback’s Thesz press is countered into a wicked looking half crab but he’s right in front of the ropes. A splash gets two for Ryback but the Meathook is blocked by a knee to the chest.

Bryan hits some corner dropkicks but Ryback clotheslines him down for two. Ryback heads to the floor to set up a table but Bryan comes flying through the ropes to send Ryback into the announce table with a thud. Ryback sends him into the steps and gets back in, only to have Bryan fire off the kicks. The YES Lock is countered by a throw but Bryan drop toeholds him into the buckle. A missile dropkick gets two and there’s the YES Lock but Ryback finally makes the ropes. Ryback heads to the floor but catches Bryan coming off the apron in a powerbomb. Another powerbomb through the table is good for a DQ at 9:10.

Rating: B-. This was a great David vs. Goliath match and I like that they didn’t make Ryback lose clan here. Bryan beating the Real Americans is fine but having him win against a fresh monster after nearly half an hour in the ring is too much of a stretch. This worked very well though as Ryback can still be a monster when he isn’t a whiny jerk.

Post match Ryback loads up another powerbomb but Cena comes out to make the save. He chases Ryback off and challenges him to a tables match next week.

In the back Maddox makes the tables match official but Vince comes in to make Bryan vs. Kane next week.

Overall Rating: B+. This show took awhile to get going but the final forty minutes is a Daniel Bryan showcase with some AWESOME wrestling that made him look like a monster against Cena. You couple that with an excellent Heyman/Punk segment and some short matches that didn’t overstay their welcome and this was a very solid show. I can’t wait for Summerslam and the show is going to rock.

Results

Alberto Del Rio b. Sheamus – Cradle

Christian b. Titus O’Neal – Killswitch

Dolph Ziggler b. Darren Young – Zig Zag

Cody Rhodes b. Fandango – Cross Rhodes

Daniel Bryan b. Jack Swagger – YES Lock

Daniel Bryan b. Antonio Cesaro – Small Package

Daniel Bryan b. Ryback via DQ when Ryback powerbombed Bryan through a table

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

 




Smackdown – July 19, 2013: Deja Vu All Over Again

Smackdown
Date: July 19, 2013
Location: Dunkin’ Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

With Money in the Bank passed we’re now in the period of waiting for Sandow to cash in. After Monday night we have some of the main events set for Summerslam which means we need some blue matches to balance it out. Also Ziggler is officially a face after breaking up with AJ and being destroyed by Langston. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence again, which I think is the norm now.

Here’s Teddy Long to get things going. Tonight there’s going to be a new general manager named and Teddy wants to throw his name in the hat. He doesn’t know how good he’d be but he’ll be better than Vickie Guerrero. Vince will be here in person tonight to give Teddy a job evaluation. Teddy polls the crowd who seems to like the idea of Long being the boss long term.

This brings out the returning Booker T to thank Teddy for filling in while Booker was out getting triceps surgery. Booker is back to be the GM now but here’s Vince with something to say on the subject. Vince asks Teddy what match he would make to impress the fans so Teddy suggests Axel vs. Jericho for the Intercontinental Title. Booker’s offer is Del Rio vs. Orton, which brings out Raw GM Brad Maddox. He thinks he should be GM of both shows because he was going to suggest both matches as well as the Smackdown return of RVD.

Vince’s pick for the permanent Smackdown GM: Vickie freaking Guerrero. Well of course she is, because if there’s one thing WWE needs it’s ANOTHER heel boss character. She blames the fans for getting her fired from Raw so she hates us all. Vickie goes into crazy mode, yelling about how she runs this show and is going to take everything out on the fans. You know, because we haven’t done this same idea for the last year or so on Raw.

Jack Swagger vs. Dolph Ziggler

Before the match we get a clip from Raw of Ziggler breaking up with AJ and then having her cost him a match against Del Rio. A rollup sends Swagger to the floor as AJ and Langston are watching in the back. Back in and Dolph pounds away in the corner and takes Jack down with a dropkick. Cesaro trips Dolph off the apron and hits an uppercut, earning him an ejection along with Colter. Back in and a sunset flip gets two for Dolph but he has to escape the Patriot Lock. The Zig Zag is good for the pin at 3:13.

Rating: D+. Ziggler was fine here and the fans loved him which is the right idea. It’s a lot easier to get behind a feud with Langston instead of Del Rio as the matches and promos will actually be entertaining. This is a big upgrade for Dolph as he can go after the title later on and get some character development against Big E.

Post match Ziggler says he’s sorry he dumped AJ on Monday because he should have done it a lot sooner. That’s the kind of stuff he’s been needing to say to help cement his face turn.

AJ freaks out in the back and throws a lot of chairs. Langston grabs her to calm her down and they look at each other but he kisses her on the forehead.

Seth Rollins/Roman Reigns vs. Usos

Non-title. The Usos charge the ring and the fight is on before the bell. Ambrose comes in as well until Mark Henry comes out to clear the ring. The good guys stand tall and Henry is a face.

Daniel Bryan vs. Wade Barrett

The place goes NUTS for Bryan. Barrett catches a cross body and puts Bryan stomach first on the top rope for some forearms to the back. A slingshot into a backbreaker gets two and it’s off to a bow and arrow submission. Bryan fires off kicks in the corner and backflips over Barrett, only to be caught in the Winds of Change which are countered into a crucifix into the YES Lock for the submission at 1:54.

Maddox runs into Vickie in the back and Vickie slaps him in the face for taking her job.

Time for MizTV with guest Paul Heyman. Heyman says he doesn’t want to answer any of Miz’s questions but is cut off by a CM Punk chant. The fans don’t realize how hard this is for Heyman because he still loves Punk. He advises Punk to stay down and leave the WWE Universe behind because if he comes back Brock Lesnar will take his head off. Miz doesn’t believe a thing Heyman is saying because he swore on the life of his children and still lied. He walks out but Heyman introduces Axel as the man who beat Miz at MITB.

Intercontinental Title: Curtis Axel vs. Chris Jericho

Axel takes over with a headlock to start but Jericho dropkicks him down. A top rope elbow to the jaw gets two for Jericho but Axel punches him back down. Axel cranks on an armbar but gets caught in a northern lights suplex for two. Jericho tries to jump over the champion in the corner but gets clotheslined in the back of the head for two instead. The Codebreaker is countered into a spinebuster for two but Jericho sends him into the corner as we take a break.

Back with Jericho fighting out of a chinlock but going shoulder first into the post to stop his comeback. Axel misses a middle rope elbow and Jericho gets two off a quick enziguri to make Heyman even more nervous. Axel comes back with the McGillicutter for two but misses a dropkick, allowing the Lionsault to get two. Axel blocks the top rope ax handle into a PerfectPlex but Jericho counters into a Walls attempt.

Heyman distracts Jericho into dropping the hold but the second attempt has Axel in a lot of trouble. Curtis hangs on for a very long time and finally crawls over to the ropes. He goes to the floor but gets caught by a suicide dive from the Canadian. As they head back in though Heyman shouts at Jericho, allowing Axel to hit the neckbreaker/cutter for the pin at 9:15 shown of 12:00.

Rating: C. This was a decent back and forth match but Jericho going after the Intercontinental Title is hard to get into anymore. Axel still isn’t where they want him to be but he’s not a total disaster either. This was a fine enough way to kill fifteen minutes and the fans got into the Walls so there isn’t much to complain about here.

Post match Ryback comes out and destroys Jericho with a Shell Shock. This is Jericho’s last appearance for awhile as he’s going to be on tour with Fozzy.

Here’s Damien Sandow to talk about forgiveness with quotes from Gandhi. He did NOT screw Cody in the Money in the Bank match, which makes him wonder why Cody attacked him on Raw. We get a clip from Raw but Sandow says he isn’t going to hold this against Cody. That would make him a mouth breathing knuckle dragging halfwit like the audience. He invites Cody out here to talk through this because they’re still best friends.

Cody gets in the ring but Sandow says there’s no explanation required because he’s forgiven. Damien did prevent Cody from being Mr. Money in the Bank but Sandow has an olive branch for him: Cody can be the keeper of the case until Sandow is ready to cash it in. Cody has earned this but he hits Sandow in the head with the case, sending Damien running off. Rhodes throws the case at him and the fans seem quite pleased.

Rob Van Dam vs. Darren Young

Darren takes him down with an armdrag worth millions of dollars. Van Dam hits his step over kick and a standing moonsault for two, sending Young out to the floor. Back in and Titus distracts RVD’s Rolling Thunder attempt, allowing Young to take over for a bit. Van Dam comes back with a kick to the head and a springboard spinning cross body for two. A springboard kick to the face puts Young down and after kicking Titus to the floor, Van Dam hits the Five Star for the pin at 3:16.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here again but Van Dam getting another win makes sense. Also it’s nice to see people like the Players being used to put over bigger stars. A loss to a former world champion doesn’t hurt their credibility at all so why not do it more often? I still don’t see the appeal of Young but Titus at least has charisma.

The Raw ReBound focuses about the Wyatt Family.

Vickie offers to bury the hatchet with Teddy but she’s just kidding and has Teddy escorted out by security.

Big Show returns on Raw.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Randy Orton

Non-title again. Orton rains down punches in the corner to start but Del Rio counters into the armbreaker over the ropes. He stomps away on Orton and chokes on the ropes for a few seconds. Orton bails to the floor to hold his arm but he drops Del Rio ribs first onto the barricade. Alberto whips him into the steps but Orton dropkicks Del Rio out of the air back inside. He loads up the powerslam but Del Rio holds the ropes to send Orton to the mat.

The armbreaker doesn’t go on full as Orton is in the ropes and Del Rio is getting frustrated. A backbreaker gets two on the champion but the Elevated DDT is countered by an enziguru for two. Del Rio kicks him in the shoulder and loads up an RKO of his own, only to be countered into the powerslam for two. The Elevated DDT connects but the RKO is countered into a Backstabber for two. Not that it matters as Orton rolls out of the armbreaker, ducks the superkick and hits the RKO for the pin at 8:50.

Rating: C. Del Rio is officially a jobber to the stars. There was almost no chance he was going to beat Orton here and he lost clean to the RKO after two straight wins where he escaped through interference. The match was ok but nothing more than that as the ending was barely in doubt at all. Both guys were their usual selves here and didn’t seem all that interested in trying.

Overall Rating: D+. The show was just there this week with some ok matches but nothing we haven’t seen before. This is the kind of show that made Smackdown very boring for a long time and I really hope that doesn’t become the standard again. Vickie being GM again made me roll my eyes as this is her fourth stint as full time boss of a show. That sums up this episode: we’ve seen all this before.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Jack Swagger – Zig Zag

Daniel Bryan b. Wade Barrett – YES Lock

Curtis Axel b. Chris Jericho – Neckbreaker into a cutter

Rob Van Dam b. Darren Young – Five Star Frog Splash

Randy Orton b. Alberto Del Rio – RKO

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:




On This Day: July 18, 2011 – Monday Night Raw: Let’s Have A Tournament

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 18, 2011
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This is a very different era for Raw as Punk is now world champion but has apparently left the company with the championship. Also we have Alberto Del Rio as the Money in the Bank winner who didn’t cash in officially last night because the bell never rang. This should be a very interesting show so let’s get to it.

Here’s Vince to open the show. Nice to see them going straight into the big story. Johnny Ace is with him. Vince’s punk jacket isn’t quite as manly as something Bret would wear but most men aren’t Bret Hart. The locker room is all watching on a monitor in the back. The fans chant for Punk and Vince says he’ll never say that name again. Punk is an ingrate apparently and walked out on the fans, the locker room and everyone that has ever been in this ring.

Vince says no one is bigger than the WWE and lists off a bunch of names. There will be a new WWE Champion crowned tonight in an 8 man tournament. Ziggler vs. Rey is one of the matches. Swagger vs. Truth. Kofi vs. Del Rio and Miz vs. Riley….again. He addresses Cena not being in the match because Cena let everyone down last night. Cena will face unmentioned consequences. Vince promises we’ll always remember tonight so enjoy the show.

We talk about Cena tweeting that he’s been fired and if that’s hot it is, Cena is sorry to Rock.

WWE Championship Tournament Quarterfinals: The Miz vs. Alex Riley

 

Miz is limping but the fact that he’s out there is a great sign after how bad his knee looked. Riley’s entrance and the bell are after the break. Here we go and Riley goes after the bad knee which is rather smart. He has psychology at least. A kick to the knee puts Miz down and he works it over a bit. Miz’s knee goes around the post and Riley gets two back in. Riley’s shoulder goes into the post and here comes Miz.

Miz throws on a cravate to slow Riley down. You have to win by pinfall or submission so there are no DQs or countouts. Riley manages to ram Miz’s neck into his knee to take over. Spinebuster gets two. The inverted DDT and the Finale don’t work so Miz goes up. He jumps into a really bad Texas Cloverleaf (called a Sharpshooter by Cole) but manages to get a rope. Alex hammers away and Miz is staggering. And never mind as Riley walks into the Skull Crushing Finale for the clean pin at 4:57.

Rating: C. Nice to see Miz get a clean win over Riley as he was starting to look far too weak. A deep run in this tournament could help him a lot as this win did. Pretty average match here but for a TV match in a tournament that needs to have relatively quick matches, this was perfectly fine.

Video on John Morrison who is coming back soon from his neck injury apparently.

WWE Championship Tournament Quarter-Finals: R-Truth vs. Jack Swagger

 

Swagger grabs a headlock to start us off. Truth keeps talking to himself as they circle each other a bit more. Apparently Big Show will be out for two months. Truth gets a victory roll for two as Truth does his weird pelvic thrust dance. Belly to belly gets two for Swagger. Swagger beats on Truth a bit more before the Vader Bomb gets two. Double chickenwing goes on Truth as the crowd doesn’t care. Truth starts his comeback but misses the Axe kick. It’s countered into the ankle lock but Truth counters into a rollup for the pin at 4:20.

Rating: C-. This was a weird one as the heel vs. heel dynamic was kind of all over the place. Truth was moving around fast like a face would do but since both are heels it’s kind of hard to call. Either way it wasn’t anything all that special but with just over four minutes and no feud to work off of, how good can you really get?

WWE Championship Tournament Quarter-Finals: Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston

 

Alberto is VERY fired up about being Mr. Money in the Bank. He talks about trying to cash in last night but Punk ran away. Alberto has a surprise and RICARDO IS BACK! Why this is exciting is beyond me but you have to shout at a return!!! The bell rings after a break and Del Rio gets a fast seated dropkick to the back of the head for two. Alberto goes after the leg of Kofi which is a change of pace for him.

Kofi starts his jumping around and hits a back elbow to take Del Rio down. Rock apparently has begged Vince not to fire Cena. This match seems kind of rushed. Del Rio is sent to the floor and Kofi hits a sweet dive to take Alberto down. Kofi takes too long to come back in and gets caught by an enziguri for two. Off to a chinlock which doesn’t last long at all. Another kick gets two.

Elbow drop gets the same and we’re back to the chinlock. Kofi starts his comeback and the crowd finally reacts. Boom Drop is avoided though and Del Rio gets a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Cross armbreaker is countered into a rollup for the pin out of nowhere at approximately 5:00.

Rating: C. Rather surprised by the pin here but Alberto losing makes things more interesting as far as surprise winners could go. I didn’t like the match itself for the most part as it seemed kind of rushed but the ending helped it a bit. Nice to see Kofi get an actual big win for once too.

Summerslam Recall is from 1992 where Bulldog beat Bret.

Kofi says he’s excited and tonight is a new opportunity. That’s one down and two to go.

WWE Championship Tournament Quarter-Finals: Rey Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler

 

Ziggler trabs him to start but Rey speeds things up to escape. Rey is tossed to the floor and takes a nice flapjack to put him down again. In the ring that gets two as does a big elbow drop. Off to a stump puller which is an old school submission. Dolph takes him down to the mat and has been in control for most of the match. Splash in the corner misses though and Rey gets a quick two count.

Seated senton off the top hits but Ziggler gets a sunset flip. They exchange some kicks, resulting in Dolph getting a two count. Clothesline misses for Dolph and the sleeper is countered. Rey counters into a 619 attempt but Dolph ducks and hits a reverse slam for two. 619 hits on the second attempt and a top rope splash pins the US Champion clean at 5:00.

Rating: C. Not bad again here but at the same time it was kind of boring again. These five minute matches can only be so good because they have to fly through everything instead of letting a match build itself up. That gets really annoying quickly and it certainly has in these four matches so far. Still though not bad.

Jerry calls Punk the former champion.

Updated brackets:

Mysterio vs. R-Truth

Kofi vs. Miz

Vince is talking to Johnny Ace about the tournament.

Face Diva Team vs. Heel Diva Team

 

Like I’m listing off 12-14 Divas for a two minute match. Beth vs. Rosa to start and they botch something badly. Slingshot suplex hits and everything breaks down within about 15 seconds. Glam Slam and we’re done at 1:02. About as good as I was expecting. Anything with Kelly in those tiny white shorts is never a bad thing though.

WWE Championship Tournament Semi-Finals: Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz

 

Kofi immediately goes for the knee and Miz is having to fight through the issues. Kofi does his reversal off the ropes with his hair. They horribly botch a dropkick as Miz falls before it even hits. Double stomp gets two for Kofi but he gets crotched soon after that. Slingshot elbow gets two for Kofi but Miz rolls through a top rope cross body. He hits more or less a Stunner to the knee and loads up Trouble in Paradise, only for Miz to head to the apron to escape. Miz gets put into a rollup for two but gets a modified Snake Eyes and hits the Finale to end it at 3:45. Miz is bleeding from the mouth a bit.

Rating: D+. Didn’t feel this one at all. The quick endings are crippling this thing but having seven matches in two hours and all with clean endings is probably asking too much. Not a horrible match I guess but at the same time this was way too rushed as they were trying to get too much in there. As with almost all these matches, they would be better with more time.

Truth says he should be champion and there’s a conspiracy. The Little Jimmys better close their eyes because the title is gonna get got.

Video on Andy from Tough Enough who grew up in a very bad neighborhood apparently, complete with a meth lab.

WWE Championship Tournament Semi-Finals: Rey Mysterio vs. R-Truth

 

Truth takes over to start and pounds Rey down, hitting a suplex for two. They collide which of course goes badly for Rey, resulting in another two count. Off to a front facelock by Truth and a knee to Rey’s ribs stops him again. After a body scissors Rey gets some momentum, including a bad looking arm drag to put Truth on the floor. Rey hits a suicide dive and we take a break.

Back with Truth holding a chinlock. Apparently Rey tried two top rope moves during the break and was ½ with them. Truth gets an extra spinny forearm for two. 619 attempt is countered by a forearm for two. Back to the front facelock as it seems like both of them are spent. Truth charges at Rey in the corner but goes into the middle buckle instead. Rey still can’t keep any momentum going and Truth hits his suplex into the stunner for two. Rey goes to the apron and hits a headscissors to set up the 619. Top rope splash puts him into the finals at 12:48.

Rating: D+. Not a horrible match but there was WAY too much laying around. This show is just draining and it’s the same problem as there always is in one night tournaments: the uniqueness of seeing each person goes away quickly because we’re going to see the finalists three times in one night which is just way too much. Not bad but rather dull at times.

Rey stays in the ring for the main event which is next.

 

And before the bell here’s Vince in that pink jacket again. Miz isn’t even out there yet. Vince sounds like he calls it the WWF Title. I’m pretty sure he did. He has to hurry though because there’s something else he needs to do. No title match? Apparently not as Vince says this is bigger than Rey. Sadly enough he doesn’t make the required joke. Yep the match is postponed so no match here.

Vince reiterates that no one is bigger than the WWE, including John Cena. There’s a CM Punk chant. Vince talks about how this isn’t about his ego and how he did what was right from a business perspective. This was a long term decision and in time, the fans will thank him. Let’s get this over with apparently and here’s Cena.

Cena says he isn’t going to go through some big rant or tirade and he knows what’s coming. He isn’t going to go through what Shawn Michaels went through. Apparently this is about Montreal somehow and how Shawn had to go through the constant reminders of how he screwed Bret. Cena doesn’t want to be remembered as the guy that screwed CM Punk.

Last night was about Vince wanting to keep his bubble intact because no one can embarrass Vince. Vince needed a patsy but Cena wasn’t going to play ball that way. Cena tells Punk that was a great match. He wasn’t going to take the title that way because it would have made it look meaningless. That’s true to an extent. Cena says Vince now has about 8 months to find a new opponent for Rock. Somehow he’s sure Vince can pull it off though so it doesn’t really matter.

Cena says that we should just get to it. He says if Vince has to fire him here tonight, he’ll keep doing it on someone else’s TV show….Brother. Hokey smoke we just got an actual Impact reference. Cena starts to walk but Vince stops him. And…….it’s time to play the game? Here’s HHH of all people in a suit. Vince is all happy to see him but HHH isn’t thrilled.

There was a board of directors meeting this morning and he says that twice for some reason. The board is concerned about the current situation. HHH wants to take this to the back so it doesn’t have to be in person. The board however is about Vince. It’s true that Vince built all this, but at the same time they’re worried about Vince’s “extremely questionable decisions” as of late.

HHH again offers to take this to the back but Vince says do it here. The board has asked HHH to come here to tell Vince that there’s an injunction against him with a vote of no confidence. Vince laughs it off but apparently the family agrees. On top of that, the board has appointed someone to take over the day to day operations. That would be……HHH apparently. Cena IS NOT fired and HHH is about to cry. Vince is officially relieved of his duties (HUGE pop for that) and HHH breaks down. He loves “pop” and he’s sorry. Vince stands in the middle of the ring and HHH walks out. A thank you Vince chant ends this.

Overall Rating: C+. What a difference 15 minutes makes. I had this all ready to go with a bad grade and then they spring this Vince is fired thing on me. HHH as the new Mr. McMahon could work incredibly well as he’s someone we’re familiar with and he could even jump in the ring once in awhile. I liked the ending a lot and I’m very interested in where this could go. The first two hours were pretty awful but the ending is awesome stuff indeed. Good ending to an otherwise bad show.

Results

The Miz b. Alex Riley – Skull Crushing Finale

R-Truth b. Jack Swagger – Rollup

Kofi Kingston b. Alberto Del Rio – Rollup

Rey Mysterio b. Dolph Ziggler – Top Rope Splash

Kelly Kelly/AJ/Kaitlyn/Gail Kim/Beth Phoenix/Eve Torres/Natalya b. Rosa Mendes/Tamina/Bella Twins/Maryse/Alicia Fox

The Miz b. Kofi Kingston – Skull Crushing Finale

Rey Mysterio b. R-Truth – Top Rope Splash

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:




Money in the Bank 2013 Preview

We’ve arrived at one of the biggest shows of the year and for once I’m excited.  The card is STACKED and the feuds have all been well built.  Let’s get to it.We’ll start with the pre-show.  I’ll take the Shield to retain.  I’m a fan of the Usos but come on.  It’s been two months since Shield won the belts and they’re not about to lose them to a team who was release fodder for the majority of last year.

Cena to retain of course.  This is the WWE’s bread and butter: take a superhero and put him against a big old monster, enjoy the crowd reactions.  Well in most cities but you get the idea.  Cena wins here and I don’t think there’s a cash-in yet.

Del Rio keeps his belt but it likely sets up another match in this feud.  Ziggler is popular and will be a god in Philadelphia, but WWE seems obsessed with keeping the title on Del Rio for some reason.  The match should be good but I have zero interest in Del Rio whatsoever.

In the surprise of the show, AJ keeps the belt via interference from Layla.  It’s not a surprise that AJ wins, but that I actually care about the match.  They’ve done a great job at actually setting up the feud and giving us a reason to care about Kaitlyn getting her revenge on the evil AJ.  Those INSANE spears that AJ sells so well help a lot too.  This should be entertaining though, which I can’t believe I’m saying.

Axel beats Miz.  I don’t think this needs an explanation.

Ryback over Jericho.  Ryback hasn’t won a PPV match since last year’s MITB, yet WWE still wonders why no one is interested in him.  It appears that Ryback is going to hook up with Vickie which might make people care about him a little bit so at least he has some hope.  The match should be good and there’s no need for Jericho to win.  This is a classic case of putting two guys in a match because they have nothing else to do and there’s nothing wrong with that thinking at all.

Now for the important matches.

I’ll go with the seemingly obvious choice and say Bryan wins the Raw MITB match.  RVD will be RVD, Sheamus and Orton would seem to cancel each other out, Christian just isn’t winning this match, and Punk will likely be taken out by Brock or Heyman to set up the Summerslam match.  There are rumors that Bray Wyatt will be replacing Kane but for the life of me I can’t see that happening.

That leaves us with the BIG wildcard of the show: the Smackdown MITB match.  However we do have a major clue: Ambrose hasn’t interacted with the other participants for the majority of the buildup, and in WWE terms that’s the cue for him to win.  Looking at the other contestants, we can immediately eliminate the Scholars for obvious reasons.  Fandango simply isn’t ready and has cooled WAY down since his concussion.  The Real Americans intrigue me but I could only put Cesaro at a distant second best option.  Barrett is interesting as well as WWE has been ready to pull the trigger on him for years now and it’s normal for them to job a guy to death before giving him something like MITB.  That leaves Ambrose which would be the right move.

 

Overall MITB looks very good for the most part.  There isn’t a match I’m not interested in other than the IC Title, the crowd is going to be white hot all night and the ladder matches are always entertaining.  WWE has turned it way up in the last few weeks and the shows have been the most fun they’ve been all year.  This should be a solid way to keep the summer rolling before we get to the important stuff at Summerslam.

 

Thoughts/predictions?




Smackdown – July 12, 2013: Raw Part II And That’s Just Fine

Smackdown
Date: July 12, 2013
Location: Hampton Coliseum, Hampton, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the final show before Money in the Bank and the card is entirely set. Tonight is going to be about trying to gain momentum heading into the PPV, so expect a lot of singles matches between the guys in the ladder matches. Hopefully the World Heavyweight Championship ladder match can get some attention for a change instead of the All-Star match dominating the shows. Let’s get to it.

Also before I get going, this morning I won some house show tickets from my local radio station. I know the wrestling expert used to read stuff from here, so in case he is again, thanks for not knowing your music videos Shorty.

Opening sequence again. I could go for that being a normal thing.

Daniel Bryan vs. Christian

Not a bad way to start things up. Bryan grabs the arm to start but is taken down by a shoulder block and a middle rope dropkick gets one for the Canadian. Bryan comes back in with kicks to the arm and some knees to the chest for two. Christian kicks out of a bow and arrow hold and hits a spinebuster of all things for two. The middle rope back elbow gets two more and a backdrop sends Bryan to the floor. Christian misses a baseball slide and gets caught by a clothesline and the running knee from the apron as we take a break.

Back with Christian getting two off a missed Bryan dropkick in the corner. Christian cranks on the neck but misses a charge and falls to the floor but a right hand breaks up the suicide dive. Bryan sends the already damaged arm into the steps and they head back inside with Christian damaged. Bryan backflips out of the corner but gets caught in the spinning sunset flip for two. They slug it out (kicks for Bryan vs. punches for Christian) with Bryan taking over, only to have the back of his neck snapped against the top rope.

Christian misses his high cross but Bryan misses the flying headbutt. Both guys are down but it’s Christian getting up first. Bryan fires off the kicks to the chest but Christian ducks the big one to the head and hits the reverse DDT. The spear is countered by a pair of kicks to the head for two but the spear hits from out of nowhere for two more. The crowd is WAY into this. The Killswitch is countered and Christian tries another sunset flip out of the corner but he dives into the (once again) YES Lock for the submission at 9:25 shown of 12:10.

Rating: B. There wasn’t much to talk about in this match because both guys were on point the entire time. Christian was his usual solid self while Bryan had the crowd eating out of the palm of his hand. Changing the name back to the YES Lock is a good idea for the chants and it should make Bryan even more over with the crowd. The psychology in the end with Bryan learning from the past mistake was a nice touch.

Dolph Ziggler comes in to see Teddy Long but is told he has the night off. Ziggler wants to be out there competing but Teddy doesn’t want interference in Del Rio’s match with Sin Cara. Dolph accuses Del Rio and Teddy of being in cahoots together but forgets about it because he’ll win the title on Sunday.

Seth Rollins vs. Jey Uso

No intro for Jey. They fight over a lockup to start until Jey sends him into the corner to take over. Rollins pulls him off the middle rope for two and a belly to back suplex gets the same. We hit the chinlock but Jey is up quickly and no selling rams into the buckles. Jey fires off elbows to the face and the running Umaga attack in the corner but Reigns distracts him. Jimmy superkicks Roman down as Jey hits a Samoan drop, only to have Reigns offer another distraction, allowing Seth to crotch him. A running knee to the back of Jey’s head (the Black Out in NXT) is enough for the pin at 4:08.

Rating: D+. The match was ok but I don’t see the point in having Jey lose here when his team is a big underdog in the title match on Sunday. The Usos continue to look good but they don’t have much of a chance on Sunday at all. It’s a good sign for the future of the Shield that all three can hold their own in the ring as Rollins did here.

We get a clip of Vickie being fired and Brad being named as the replacement. Why couldn’t the segment on Monday been 20 seconds like it was here?

Chris Jericho vs. Curtis Axel

Non-title again as this is a rematch from Monday where Jericho won by pin. The champion takes him right into the corner for a mudhole stomping fifteen seconds into the match. Jericho comes back with a middle rope dropkick for two but Axel hammers him down again. Chris jumps over a charge in the corner, sending Axel shoulder first into the post. The Codebreaker is countered with Jericho being sent face first into the buckle as we take a break.

Back with Axel getting two off a middle rope elbow. Axel rubs his forearm over Jericho’s eyes and chokes him on the ropes. He ducks his head though allowing Jericho to kick him in the face, followed by a northern lights suplex for two. The Walls can’t go on and Axel hits a snap Saito suplex for two. Jericho sends him face first into the buckle and hits a high cross for two but can’t hit the Lionsault. Axel knocks Jericho off the apron and gets two off a neckbreaker back in the ring.

Another Walls attempt is countered into a small package for two but Jericho comes back with an enziguri for a near fall of his own. Curtis is backdropped to the floor but Jericho misses a baseball slide and Axel hits a clothesline. Bryan and Christian did that exact same sequence in their match. Axel yells at Jericho and sends him back inside but Jericho hits the Codebreaker on the way back in. Unfortunately for Chris it knocks Axel to the floor and it’s a countout at 7:25 shown of 10:10.

Rating: C+. This took some time to get going but Axel picked it up a bit in the end. I don’t like the idea of Axel losing twice in a row, especially when Jericho has a worthless match with Ryback on Sunday. Such is life for the Intercontinental Champion, but I guess we’ll forget all about this when Axel beats him with a rollup after interference from Heyman right?

Post match Axel freaks out but Heyman calms him down.

As a sidebar, during the match JBL was talking about Jericho’s career and said Jericho has gone toe to toe with and defeated Vader. I’ve never heard of this match and can find no evidence that it ever happened. Does anyone know anything about this? Odds are it would have been in Japan or Germany.

Ryback vs. The Miz

This is a rematch from two weeks ago where Ryback gave up due to his knee injury. I’m not sure when they did it but Feed Me More has been dropped from Ryback’s entrance. Miz makes Ryback miss to start and low bridges him to the floor. A baseball slide actually connects tonight, followed by an ax handle off the apron. Back in and Miz tries a sunset flip but gets caught and tossed into the corner. A powerslam puts him down and Ryback drops down onto Miz’s back to work on the ribs. Miz is whipped hard into the corner but slips out of another powerslam attempt to get in a shot to the knee.

Ryback runs Miz over and rams his head into the mat a few times but a splash hits knees. A dropkick to the knee puts Ryback down and a big boot sets up the corner clothesline and the top rope ax handle for no cover. The Figure Four is blocked so Miz hits a DDT on the leg to soften it up even more. A Stunner on the leg out of the corner has Ryback screaming in pain but he says not to stop the match. He has the referee help him to his feet but fires off a Meathook and the Shell Shock for the pin at 5:54. I can appreciate some good goldbricking.

Rating: D+. This is another good example of how stupid WWE’s booking is. Inside of fifteen minutes, both people in the IC Title match on Sunday have lost matches. Who is the favorite in that match? The guy who didn’t lose as badly? No one cares about the title or the champion because WWE gives us no reason to care about the title or the champion. Also wasn’t Ryback the guy who went through a war with Cena for the WWE Title but can barely make it through a six minute match now? The lack of consistency in this company is pathetic.

Sheamus can beat Orton because an Irishman drove out all the snakes. As for Sunday, he isn’t known as someone who carries a briefcase but maybe he can put his cornbeef and cabbage in there. Once he wins, the pints are on him. Oh and he thinks Renee is cute. It was as added on at the end as it sounds.

A bunch of the Divas are in the ring for the contract signing between Kaitlyn and AJ. AJ picks up the pen but addresses the “sequined sisters of the sparkling pants.” She knows none of them like either her or Kaitlyn, but no one cared about the division until she won the title. AJ wants to be congratulated by everyone but Teddy says we don’t have time for that. The champion signs but she doesn’t think Kaitlyn should do that. Kaitlyn signs and AJ smiles. AJ pulls out her phone and reads off some of the texts that Kaitlyn sent to her secret admirer.

Apparently she doesn’t trust Natalya, thinks the Funkadactyls don’t care about anything but the reality show and that she’s tired of being put into a mold just for bodybuilding. AJ offers her a chance to tear up the contract but Kaitlyn says she’ll never let another needy, clingy man crazed psychopath destroy her again. She’ll be champion again while AJ is locked in a padded cell rocking back and forth. AJ slaps her but Kaitlyn shoves the table and AJ’s chair into the corner, giving AJ a terrified look. Langston makes the save so Kaitlyn slaps him too and spears AJ in half. This was a great segment and actually has me wanting to see the match.

Wade Barrett vs. Fandango

This is a result of Barrett knocking Fandango out for saying his name when told not to. Colter and company are at ringside and are now known as the Real Americans. That’s much better than Colter’s Militia or whatever their name was for like a day. Cole makes political jokes as Barrett kicks Fandango in the face for two. Colter questions Sandow’s citizenship and Barrett hits a backbreaker for two. Barrett pounds on Fandango in the corner but the Scholars come out to yell at Colter. The distraction allows Fandango to kick Barrett in the head and roll him up for the pin at 1:47.

In case you’re wondering, yes that’s all the time the Smackdown MITB match is getting tonight.

Kane is out of the All-Star match due to the Wyatt Family’s attack.

We get an extended Wyatt Family vignette leading into a video of the attack on Kane from Raw.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sin Cara

Sin Cara comes out second for some reason. Cara goes right after Del Rio with forearms to the head and is WAY more aggressive than usual. JBL thinks something is up and Sin Cara hits the Zig Zag on Del Rio. Cole thinks there’s nothing going on and JBL goes into full ARE YOU KIDDING ME mode. It wasn’t quite La Parka vs. Randy Savage but I love a good masked man segment.

Cara poses on the ramp but here’s Vickie Guerrero to screech at us. No one has shown her any respect since Monday and she even had to buy a ticket to be here tonight. She rips up the ticket and is marching around ringside so here’s Teddy with security to get her out of here.

Teddy catches up to Sin Cara in the back and demands an explanation. Dolph Ziggler pops up next to both of them and Teddy is very confused.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

They fight over a lockup to start before it turns into a fist fight. Sheamus takes it into the corner with forearms but the referee gets him away, allowing Orton to get in some right hands of his own. A quick suplex gets two for Sheamus as the dueling chants begin. Sheamus powerslams him down for two but Orton sends him out to the floor. Sheamus rams him into the announce table but Orton comes back with a clothesline as we take a break.

Back with Orton holding a chinlock with a bodyscissors. Back up and they slug it out again with Orton going down off a clothesline. Sheamus starts firing off the ax handles to the head but Orton comes back with his clotheslines and the powerslam for two. Orton kicks Sheamus in the face but walks into the Irish Curse. White Noise is countered into the backbreaker for two and both guys are down. The Elevated DDT is countered with a backdrop, setting up the ten forearms.

Sheamus hits the rolling senton and calls for the Brogue Kick but Orton ducks away. Sheamus goes to the middle rope but gets caught in the Elevated DDT out of the corner. An RKO attempt is blocked and Sheamus loads up the top rope shoulder but Orton crotches him down. A superplex attempt by Orton is blocked into both guys falling out to the floor….and here’s Daniel Bryan with a ladder. Both guys get back in and Bryan lays them out for the double DQ at 9:40 shown of 12:20.

Rating: C+. This was a good match for the most part but the ending was clearly going to be inconclusive. Bryan continues to act like a heel despite being the most over guy on the roster, which makes me think WWE either has a convoluted plan for him or they have no idea what they’re doing. Either way this was good stuff but the ending hurt it.

Post match Bryan goes up the ladder but Sheamus pulls him down. Christian comes in too and all four guys go for the case. Bryan shoves Christian off but walks into an RKO, allowing Orton to climb the ladder and unhook the case to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. We had good wrestling here and the PPV matches were built up (albeit some far less than others). What more can you ask for out of a go home show? The World Heavyweight Championship MITB match is being given no love at all but it’s such a wide open field that several people could win it. The whole show worked pretty well with nothing bad an a very good Divas segment in the middle. Very good show this week and MITB should be awesome.

Results

Daniel Bryan b. Christian – YES Lock

Seth Rollins b. Jey Uso – Running stomp to the head

Chris Jericho b. Curtis Axel via countout

Ryback b. Miz – Shell Shock

Fandango b. Wade Barrett – Rollup

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus went to a double DQ when Daniel Bryan interfered

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

 




On This Day: July 8, 2011 – Smackdown: Back When It Was Good

Smackdown
Date: July 8, 2011
Location: Tucson Arena, Tucson, Arizona
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Booker T, Michael Cole

 

 

This was taped last week but for Smackdown that’s not going to change anything from the norm. Tonight we get some fallout from last week with Sheamus interjecting himself into the main event scene to end the show. Other than that we’ll probably be building up to Money in the Bank with some more stuff between the ladder match guys. Let’s get to it.

 

 

We open with a recap of the ending of last week’s show where Orton signed the contract but before Christian did, Sheamus returned and beat both guys up and ripped up the contract.

 

 

Do you know your enemy? Mine is a really bad sunburn.

 

 

Most of the MITB guys are in the ring but I only see seven right now. Sheamus is missing I believe. Everyone gets to say something. Bryan says he’s excited and nervous because he’s wanted to be world champion since he was a little kid. Cody cuts him off and says it’s because Bryan is a common man incapable of the things exceptional people do. Cody is one of those exceptional people. Once he wins the title everyone will have to swallow their pride and look him in the eye.

 

 

Barrett says he’s tired of hearing about what everyone else has done. He starts listing off his accomplishments but here’s Sheamus with a chair. He cracks almost everyone with it and clears the ring. Sheamus says he’ll win and cash in on Orton when he beats Christian. He’s going to get Orton tonight though, because of getting punted last month. Here’s Christian who asks if Sheamus thinks he can’t beat Orton. Sheamus calls him a scrawny, malnourished, googly eyed homely weasel.

 

 

Christian points out that he beat Sheamus a few weeks ago before Orton punted Sheamus. He’ll also be world champion after MITB. There’s a clause in the contract, saying that if Orton gets disqualified or if there’s bad officiating, Christian is automatically world champion. Christian calls him Ronald McDonald and asks if he can even read a contract. Sheamus throws the chair at him and here’s Teddy. Orton vs. Sheamus is the main event. Really solid opening segment here as Sheamus looked fired up and intimidating. I’m liking this three way feud a lot and they’re running it perfectly.

 

 

Clip of the first MITB match with Edge winning and cashing in about 9 months later.

 

 

Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase vs. Daniel Bryan/Ezekiel Jackson

 

 

Booker gets a bag again. DiBiase and Bryan start us off with DiBiase not being able to do much. Off to Jackson who is part of the Fave Five of Booker. We actually get the full list: McIntyre, Jackson, Sheamus, Barrett, Cara and a dark horse in Ryder. The good guys clear the ring and send Cody to the floor as we take a break. Back with Bryan firing off kicks to Cody in the corner.

 

 

Cody avoids a charge in the corner and backdrops Bryan onto the corner and catches him in an Alabama Slam for two. It’s off to DiBiase who keeps the advantage and hits a chinlock. Back off to Cody who uses his old school style to dominate even more. DiBiase chokes some more. Cole picks Wade Barrett to win MITB. Bryan gets a boot up in the corner and Josh picks Sin Cara, the same as Booker. Hot tag to Big Zeke who gets a nice reaction. He starts slamming people and Racks DiBiase but it’s broken up by a Beautiful Disaster and Dream Street gets the pin at 6:45 shown of 10:15.

 

 

Rating: C+. Pretty basic tag match here but for the love of all things good and holy Vince, why do you think midcard champions always have to lose? He won the title and then beat Barrett a second time and now he’s lost to Rhodes (not that bad) and then to DiBiase. Why in the world would that be something they’d think is smart? I don’t get why midcard champions are booked into the ground so often anymore but it’s getting annoying.

 

 

Video on Mark Henry and his domination as of late.

 

 

Striker tells Henry he’s facing potential fines, suspensions and criminal charges after what he did last week. Henry breathes a lot.

 

 

Jinder Mahal vs. Trent Barreta

 

 

During Mahal’s entrance we hear about some empire he’s built up and we don’t hear anything about his wife/Khali’s sister. Are they already changing the story? Anyway Khali sits in on commentary (you read that right) and actually speaks some English now. Total squash in the ring and the full nelson slam ends it at 1:04. The camera was on Khali more than the match. Post match Cole mentions the story we got last week.

 

 

Sheamus says his recent rampage is an Irish thing.

 

 

AJ vs. Tamina

 

 

Cole: “Hopefully this doesn’t put me to sleep like a Harlem Heat match.” Josh: “Tell me you didn’t just say that.” AJ has different hair now as it’s a bit lighter and a bit wavier. Natalya and Alicia are at ringside. Cole bashes Natalya for most of the match as Tamina dominates with an Umaga hip smash to the face. Off to a chinlock which doesn’t last long. AJ fights back and hits a Shining Wizard for two. Tamina misses a splash in the corner and AJ gets a rollup for the pin at 2:28.

 

 

Alicia yells at Tamina post match.

 

 

Mark Henry vs. Kane

 

 

Kane looks terrified but hammers away to start. Henry runs him over but Kane gets three dropkicks, two to the knees and a seated one to the chest, for two. Top rope clothesline is caught in a belly to belly for two. Henry stands on the chest for a bit and Kane is in trouble. The big fried freak fires off a right hand and the crowd is surprisingly into this. Big boot puts Henry down for two.

 

 

Kane goes up again and this time the clothesline hits. He loads up the chokeslam but Henry breaks out of it and headbutts Kane. A second attempt at the chokeslam hits but Henry gets his foot on the ropes. Out to the floor and Kane tries a chokeslam through the table but Henry breaks it up, ramming Kane into the post. Back inside a splash gets two. Mark is all ticked off now and the World’s Strongest Slam gets the pin at 5:52.

 

 

Rating: C. For a battle of the big men this was fine. They kept it relatively short which is the right idea for sure. If they want Henry to be taken as a big threat, this is the kind of win he needs. Kane is still someone with credibility and Henry beating him clean by just overpowering him is a good thing for him. I still don’t get the appeal or point of pushing Henry but it’s his every other year push so it’s to be expected.

 

 

Henry yells at the announcers post match.

 

 

Orton says he doesn’t care what the contract says because he’s going to win with the RKO. As for Sheamus, he’ll have to defend the title against him eventually but as for tonight, good luck to him.

 

 

Video of Miz winning MITB last year.

 

 

Tyson Kidd vs. Sin Cara

 

 

There go the lights again. Kidd grabs an armbar to take him down almost immediately. Cara speeds things up and hits an armdrag to send Kidd to the floor. Cara tries a dive or something similar to one, only to get his head slammed into the apron. Back inside Cara hits a slingshot corkscrew splash for two. Off to a chinlock by Kidd as the fans chant for Cara. Kidd keeps countering Cara’s moves and it’s working pretty well. He tries a springboard elbow but Cara gets the knees up to block it.

 

 

Cole says his name would be Billy the Kid if he was a superstar. Booker and Josh are quiet for a bit and then laugh at him. Cara starts his comeback and gets a victory roll into a sunset flip for two. Kidd kicks him down and goes up, only to get dropped onto the buckle. They go up again and the C4 off the top ends this at 4:16.

 

 

Rating: B-. Pretty good stuff here as I didn’t notice any botches which is a change for Cara. Granted they may have been edited out but that’s the perk of a taped show. Anyway not bad here and Cara is starting to get better slowly but surely as he’s having more coherent matches rather than just doing random spots. Good stuff.

 

 

Teddy is asked if he’s intimidated by Henry and won’t answeron.

 

 

Video on Ezekiel Jackson.

 

 

Usos vs. Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater

 

 

The matches are good but we’ve seen this how many times now? The Usos do their dance thing on the way to the ring. Jey has a tattoo on his chest apparently so he starts us off with Gabriel. Slater comes in rather quickly and takes Jey down as the crowd is more or less silent. Booker talks about the Fave Five again and it’s already annoying. Gabriel comes in and gets two before hitting a headlock. After some silence on commentary, Booker randomly says that no one likes Cole.

 

 

Double big boot puts both guys down as Jimmy tries to get the crowd back to life. It’s not really working but points for trying at least. Off to Jimmy vs. Slater with Jimmy being labeled as the powerhouse. Bubba Bomb puts Slater down as Booker says they both need gain another hundred pounds or so. Samoan Drop gets two on Slater. Slater manages to take him down with something like a Zig Zag and it’s off to Gabriel. He wants the 450 but Slater gets kicked into the ropes to crotch Justin. We get Power and Glory’s old finisher (superplex/top rope splash combo) to end Gabriel at 3:32.

 

 

Rating: C+. Another fine match but again, we’ve seen this how many times now? The teased tension between the former Nexus/Corre is what you would expect as they’ve been a successful team long enough so it’s time to split them in a feud that not many people want to see. Anyway this was fine and it’s cool to see the Usos have an actual finisher.

 

 

Johnny Curtis is at a table with a bunch of birthday stuff on it. He takes the cake. Debut him already and get it over with.

 

 

We get an abbreviated version of Cena and Vince from Raw.

 

 

We run down the MITB card. Henry vs. Show is official.

 

 

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

 

 

Christian vs. Orton has been signed apparently and the Canadian is on commentary here. Orton fires away in the corner and Sheamus is in trouble. Pretty basic back and forth stuff here as Orton counters some Sheamus offense with a dropkick. He loads up the punt but Sheamus hits the floor. Back in Orton hits his way too enthusiastic Thesz Press and they slug it out to the floor.

 

 

Orton gets reversed into the railing and part of the wall falls down. Elevated DDT is blocked and Orton goes shoulder first into the post and back out to the floor. Christian goes after Orton but Sheamus stops him. Orton goes into the post again as we take a break. Back with Sheamus hitting a DDT to the arm for two. Orton makes a brief comeback but takes a knee to the ribs to put him right back down.

 

 

Randy makes his comeback and uses his regular stuff including the scoop powerslam. He adds something new to the arsenal with a belly to belly suplex for two. Sheamus gets a kick to the knee and pulls himself up to the top for a shoulder block for two. Irish Curse gets two. Brogue Kick and RKO are countered and Orton hits the backbreaker. Not that it matters as Christian comes in for the DQ at 8:24 shown of 11:54, giving Orton the win.

 

 

Rating: B-. Not a great match or anything but compared to the stuff these two were putting on in 2010, their recent stuff has been a miracle. I was thinking Sheamus would win MITB and then cash in at the end of the night but now I’m not so sure. Either way, not a bad match here and fine for a TV main event.

 

 

Post match Sheamus lays out Christian but walks into an RKO to leave Orton standing tall to close the show.

 

 

Overall Rating: B. While a step down from last week this was still good stuff. The key thing to Smackdown is they don’t waste time. Everything they do is either advancing a story, in ring action or promoting one of their wrestlers. This show was no exception as everything on here had a point, which is rare in today’s wrestling product. Anyway good show but not as good as last week.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:




On This Day: July 3, 2012 – Smackdown: They Call This Great?

Smackdown
Date: July 3, 2012
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Booker T, Josh Matthews, Michael Cole

It’s another live show here and in this case it’s the Great American Bash. The main event tonight is a 20 man battle royal with the winner getting to be GM next week on Friday. That’s up in the air and only offers a few interesting options, which means one of them is likely going to win. These shows are very hit and miss so hopefully this is the former of the two. Let’s get to it.

We open in the back with a big party. There are girls in small outfits, Hornswoggle in the tub and Teddy in a Kiss the GM apron. Eve is going to be the cleaning lady tonight. Santino is brought forward to light the barbecue to officially start things off. Teddy and Santino back off from lighting it as Kane is here. He lights the fire for them in a cute bit.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is having guests that are going to keep me from seeing Dark Knight Rises for another week.

Cole says he’s going to get inside AJ’s head tonight.

Here’s Del Rio to open the show. He’s going to talk about himself, namely his match at MITB with Sheamus. Sheamus is going to be sent back to Ireland because he’s just like all these people: a hooligan trying to take advantage of people like Del Rio. Alberto came here legally and is making money both here and in Mexico, unlike everyone here. He wants to send everyone here to the place where they belong, so he asks to see some people’s papers. One guy doesn’t have them so Alberto asks for security to take him out. The guy says this is Texas, not Arizona.

Cue Sheamus for the save and they brawl in the aisle. The champ throws Del Rio off the stage and into the barricade a few times. Ricardo keeps trying to help and eventually it allows Del Rio to kick Sheamus in the head. Ricardo opens the hood and Del Rio slams it down onto Sheamus’ back over and over.

Post break we look at most of the attack all over again. Sheamus is taken out and has some blood coming down his head.

Great Khali/Layla vs. Aksana/Antonio Cesaro

This is punishment from Teddy because he’s a sore loser. The guys start and it’s time for a chop in the corner to Cesaro. Khali misses a big boot and Antonio takes him down in the corner. Khali throws him aruond some more and it’s off to the girls. Layla isn’t exactly Trish or Lita but she’s by far the better in ring worker of the two here. Cesaro breaks up a cover and is thrown to the floor. Layout gets the pin at 1:45, and that means Layla pinned Aksana in case you can’t figure out that LAYla uses the LAYout and you can’t check the results below if you’re not sure.

Cody brags about having another qualifying match later tonight but Teddy informs him that it’s against Christian. Cody isn’t happy.

Raw Moment: Foley wins the title. They spend about as much time talking about WCW spoiling it and 600,000 people changing the channel than about the title change itself.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Cody Rhodes vs. Christian

Non-title. The idea is that Cody has never beaten Christian so he’s in over his head here. Cody sends him to the apron and hits a Disaster Kick for two. Rhodes looks at the case a lot and we take a break. Back with Cody holding a hammerlock before hitting a release gordbuster for two. Christian comes back with a middle rope missile dropkick and gets fired up.

He slingshots to the floor and uppercuts Cody followed by a running seated dropkick. Top rope cross body gets two for the champ. Cody’s Alabama Slam is countered into a sunset flip for two. He goes to unhook the buckle but Christian grabs him with a reverse DDT for two. The spear is countered but Cody misses the Disaster Kick. Killswitch is countered into the Cross Rhodes for the completely clean pin at 9:12.

Rating: C+. Well that was kind of anti-climactic. Naturally there was NO ONE that Cody could beat other than Christian to qualify right? I mean, there was no one else that could job out there other than a champion. The match was good but it makes the title look weak again which they had been changing for awhile.

Backstage Ryder starts a dance party after Slater is run off. Brodus takes center stage.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Dolph Ziggler vs. Alex Riley

Riley immediately hits a great dropkick for a fast two. Ziggler DDTs him down for a fast two and takes over. Riley makes a fast comeback with a clothesline in the corner and a spinebuster for two. The crowd continues to be into Riley which is interesting. Inverted DDT is countered but Ziggler’s Stinger Splash misses, giving Riley a rollup for a close two. Zig Zag gets the pin at 2:28.

Cole is in the ring to interview AJ. That theme song of hers’ is catchy. Cole says he’s fair and balanced, unlike AJ who is clearly unbalanced. We get a long video recapping everything AJ did last night. Cole cuts her off and says AJ wasn’t thinking. He calls her a teenager (she’s 25) and asks if she’s ever thought about pursuing a real man. One with power and influence and a former war correspondent who became the voice of the WWE.

Cue Bryan before this gets too weird. He calls Cole a sexist and says AJ didn’t mean for him to go through a table last night. It was all a misunderstanding. Cue Punk who angrily throws Cole out. He says AJ did something last night that directly affected both Bryan and himself last night. Punk isn’t going to pretend it didn’t happen just because AJ is guest referee. She’s not in a good place mentally and maybe some of that is Punk’s fault. Punk says AJ needs professional help but Bryan cuts him off.

Bryan says that Punk is trying to be tricky because AJ is the guest referee. The only thing Punk cares about is having AJ as guest referee because he needs her to retain the title. AJ kisses Bryan for awhile and Punk shakes his head and leaves. She goes after him and kisses him too. Bryan looks stunned and Punk looks confused. AJ skips off and does a YES chant on the stage.

Santino Marella/Sgt. Slaughter/Jim Duggan vs. Hunico/Camacho/Drew McIntyre

Camacho and Slaughter start things off and it’s quickly off to Santino. He gets in trouble in the evil dirty foreign corner and Drew pounds away a bit. A slam is countered and it’s hot tag to Duggan. There’s the Three Point Clothesline but everything breaks down. The ring is mostly cleared and the Cobra gets the pin on Hunico at 2:25.

Back to the party where Little Jimmy is jumping up and down. Sandow comes in and unplugs the cord. He says this isn’t what our founding fathers fought for. Ryder gets in his face but Sandow has a speech ready. A fight breaks out with the people chanting Ryder. Zach gets the punch bowl but it goes onto Eve. Everyone laughs at her and it’s time to keep dancing.

Hawkins and Reks both think they can beat Ryback but Hawkins won the coin toss and gets to face him.

Ryback vs. Curt Hawkins

Hawkins tries a sleeper but gets caught in the Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder. Ryback slams his head into the mat and hits an overhead choke suplex. Hawkins gets his head taken off by a clothesline and the Shell Shock gets the pin at 1:08.

Sheamus is out of the battle royal tonight.

Raw Moment: Vince Appreciation Night. Donald Trump made it rain money.

Here’s Teddy to thank the fans for letting him be the GM this week.

Battle Royal

Alberto Del Rio, Kane, Jack Swagger, John Cena, Heath Slater, Daniel Bryan, CM Punk, Big Show, Great Khali, Brodus Clay, Damien Sandow, Tensai, Ezekiel Jackson, Justin Gabriel, Dolph Ziggler, Kofi Kingston, Zach Ryder, Santino Marella, Cody Rhodes, Christian

Only the big names get entrances as per usual. At the moment I’m probably missing some names but i’ll fill them in as we go. Show throws out Justin and Brodus quickly. A bunch of people team up to throw out Khali. I’m missing one guy but I’m not sure if Sheamus was replaced or now. Ryder knocks out Sandow and Cody throws out Santino. Oh Christian is #20. Show shoves out Kofi and Cody as we take a break.

Back with ten guys to go as Bryan and Punk slug it out. Bryan stands in front of the ropes and Punk charges at him, eliminating both guys. Ok so we have Kane, Ziggler, Cena, Christian, Del Rio, Tensai, Ryder and Big Show to go. Big Show chokeslams Cena but Kane chokeslams Big Show. Tensai goes after Kane and pounds him into the corner. Cena erupts and beats up everyone before tossing Del Rio. Kane takes an AA but Tensai slows Cena down.

Christian and Ryder work on Big Show but that gets them nowhere. Cena dumps Tensai but Show dumps Cena immediately thereafter. So it’s Big Show, Ryder, Christian, Ziggler and Kane. Show spears Ryder down and easily tosses out Christian to get us down to four. Ziggler puts Show in the sleeper but Kane kicks Show in the head to put them both out.

It’s Ryder vs. Kane now which isn’t the pairing I was expecting. Kane pounds him down but runs into the corner knees and the Broski Boot. Ryder tries the Rough Ryder because he’s not that bright, but he escapes the chokeslams and low bridges Kane for the elimination and the win at 10:50.

Rating: C+. Why not? Seriously, why not? You can’t say this was predictable and it was pretty fun at the same time. Ryder has nothing to do and it’s good to give him a featured spot on next week’s show. This is probably Ryder’s second biggest win ever and maybe it’ll be the start of a new push for him. Nothing special here but I had a good time with it.

Overall Rating: C+. This is one of those shows that’s more based around fun than quality. That’s ok but I’d kind of like to see something that actually matters on Smackdown once in awhile. This felt like any other episode and the live aspect didn’t really change anything other than the day it was airing on. As for the American aspect of it, there was almost nothing here other than some standard comedy bits and Duggan/Slaughter’s required appearances. Nothing to see here but it was nothing particularly bad so we’ll go with a little above average.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:




Smackdown – June 28, 2013: Smackdown Goes International

Smackdown
Date: June 28, 2013
Location: Colonial Life Arena, Columbia, South Carolina
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

After Monday we have a lot more of the card set for Money in the Bank. Tonight we’ll find out who the Smackdown MITB guys are as well as having a Fiesta Del Rio to celebrate Alberto winning the World Heavyweight Championship again. WWE has picked things up lately so hopefully the positive trend continues. Let’s get to it.

We open with the theme song for the first time in months.

There’s a pinata above the ring for the fiesta later.

Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow

This is a Dublin street fight which hopefully ends this stupid feud once and for all. Sandow says that South Carolina was the first state to secede from the union and now he wants out of here too. Ya’ll isn’t a word. It’s pronounced you all, as in you all are a bunch of ignoramuses. Sandow pounds away to start and hits Sheamus with a green kendo stick before we head to the floor. Sheamus whips him into the barricade and puts him over the bar at ringside (Irish people like to drink you see) for the ten forearms to the chest.

Sandow blocks a suplex on the floor and sends Sheamus into the post to take over. Sheamus comes back by throwing Sandow into another bar and pelting a keg at him. Now Sandow has a bag of Irish potatoes dropped onto him as we’re in the “comedy” portion of the match. Damien sends him into the steps to put Sheamus down again as we take a break.

Back with Sandow running Sheamus over for two back in the ring. Sandow throws in some chairs with one being wedged between the ropes. Sheamus comes back with a green bar stool to the face and the Irish Curse for two. A running knee life puts Sandow on the floor and there’s the rolling senton for good measure. Sheamus gets two off the top rope shoulder block but Damien comes back with straight right hands.

The Terminus gets two and Sandow pounds away with the kendo stick. Sheamus easily kicks out and throws a chair at Sandow’s face to take over again. Now it’s Sandow being beaten with the stick for two but he still fights out of White Noise. Sheamus hits another kendo stick shot to send Sandow into the open chair, followed by the Brogue Kick for the pin at 9:28 shown of 12:58.

Rating: C. To recap this feud: everyone said Sheamus would dominate Sandow, Sheamus did dominate Sandow, and the final match (hopefully) was a match in which Sheamus should have destroyed Sandow and he did just that. How this does anything to elevate Sandow or help Sheamus is beyond me but thank goodness it’s over.

Sheamus takes the kendo stick with him and throws the potatoes to the fans.

We look back at the main event from Raw with Bryan making Orton tap out.

Bryan is whistling in the back but Kane gets in his face and tells him not to brag. Kane congratulates Bryan on his win but calls it an upset which sets Bryan off. The big man shuts Bryan up before he can get anywhere with it but Daniel just chalks it up to nerves and hugs him. It’s Kane vs. Orton with Bryan on commentary later.

We recap Heyman and Punk’s segment from Raw.

Time for MizTV with special guest Paul Heyman. Miz asks about Punk and Lesnar being a tag team but Heyman doesn’t want to talk about his personal life. Miz wants to know about Heyman bullying Renee young last week but Heyman says he’s just an advocate. Heyman turns the tables saying Miz is a former WWE and Intercontinental Champion by bringing out Curtis Axel. Miz says that Heyman fooled him just like Heyman fooled Punk on Raw. Heyman says he invited Axel and this interview is over unless Miz isn’t intimidated by Curtis.

Miz says that Heyman is the walking version of Star Wars: he talks like Yoda, smells like Chewbacca and looks like Jabba the Hut. This makes Axel the WWE version of Luke Skywalker: Luke, you are not your father. Miz says he’s going to win the title and Axel says he takes that threat seriously. A fight is about to break out but Heyman says if Miz wants to fight there needs to be a contract and Axel needs to be paid. Heyman makes fun of Miz’s catchphrase but Miz cuts him off, only to have Axel lay Miz out with a neckbreaker into a cutter.

AJ Lee vs. Natalya

Before the match Kaitlyn comes out dressed like AJ to make fun of AJ’s issues with men. Apparently AJ even dated the timekeeper, the ringside doctor and Lillian Garcia. Unfortunately we get no more elaboration on that as the bell rings. Natalya takes AJ down but AJ escapes a slam and slams Natalya’s head into the mat. Kaitlyn skips down to the ring to distract AJ, allowing Natalya to get a rollup pin at 1:05. Kaitlyn in the AJ outfit works VERY well.

Kaitlyn spears AJ down post match.

Bray Wyatt vignette.

Teddy is in the back when Vince comes in. Since Raw is having an All-Star MITB match (Vince’s official term for it), Teddy is going to look to the future. His picks are Wade Barrett, Jack Swagger, Antonio Cesaro, Fandango, Dean Ambrose, Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow. Vince is impressed and they practice saying Fandango.

Randy Orton vs. Kane

Bryan is on commentary. Kane grabs a headlock to start but Orton fights free with right hands. He charges into Kane’s boot in the corner to put him down as the match slows up a bit. The low dropkick gets two for Kane but Orton whips him into the corner. The announcers ask Bryan if he would cost Kane the briefcase at MITB but get no answer. Kane goes up for the top rope clothesline but gets punched out of the air to give Orton control again.

Orton stomps away and drops a knee for two but ducks his head to get caught in the running DDT. We take a break and come back with Kane putting on a nerve hold. Orton fights up as Bryan gets on the announce table to play cheerleader. Orton hits the backbreaker to escape and Bryan’s chant becomes NO. A Thesz Press puts Kane down but he kicks Orton’s head off for two. Back up again and Orton hits a dropkick for two of his own, only to get caught in a side slam. This back and forth stuff is working very well.

The top rope clothesline is broken up again, but Kane fights out of the superplex and hits the clothesline on the third try. A back elbow blocks the chokeslam attempt and Orton’s powerslam gets two. The Elevated DDT is countered but neither finisher can hit. Instead it’s the Elevated DDT to send Kane to the floor where Bryan encourages his partner. Bryan helps Kane get back in but he walks into the RKO for the pin at 9:13 shown of 12:13.

Rating: B. I’ve always been a fan of the chemistry between these guys and this is another good example of them working well together. The back and forth stuff with both guys hitting bigger and bigger stuff was a good story capped off by Orton finally hitting his home run move for the win. Bryan accidentally costing Kane the match fits their story very well and advances them towards Money in the Bank. Good stuff.

Ryback vs. Justin Gabriel

Gabriel fires off some kicks to start but Ryback comes back with a hard kick to Gabriel’s chest to take over. Ryback misses another big boot and catches himself on the top rope, allowing Justin to fire kicks into the leg. Gabriel charges into the corner but dives into the Shell Shock for the pin at 1:51. Much like Monday, this was basically a face match by Ryback as he fought through trouble to win.

Immediately after the match here’s Jericho to talk about how Ryback may be a killer, he’s also a whiner, a complainer, a butcher, a baker and a giant excuse maker. Ryback shouts that he’s injured so Jericho starts a Cryback chant. Jericho says he’s going to give something to make Ryback cry about and goes after the big man, only to have Ryback bail from the Walls. Ryback whines that he should be WWE Champion and leaves.

I’ll never get WWE’s theory of turning guys like Ryback. “Well this guy is over as a face, so let’s change everything that got him over and wonder why he isn’t over as a heel.” It works for people when they’ve had great success, but Ryback never actually won anything, so you’re taking the only things he has going for him away and making him less of an intimidating monster and more just pathetic.

Bray Wyatt vignette.

Shield vs. Usos/Christian

Shield beat down Christian again on Main Event but the Usos made the save. Jey and his cousin Roman quickly fall to the floor and we take an early break. Back with Ambrose stomping on Jey before it’s back to Reigns. The big guy hooks a front facelock but lets go to Superman punch Jimmy off the apron. The double tag brings in Ambrose and Christian cleans house with the jumping back elbow.

Rollins breaks up the spear but Christian backdrops him on the floor. Back in and Dean rolls through a cross body for two, only to get caught in a tornado DDT for the same. Reigns comes back in and sends Christian to the floor but gets taken out by Jey. Rollins dives on both Usos and Dean looks to do the same but he walks into a spear from Christian for the pin at 5:18 shown of 8:48.

Rating: C+. This was a good fast paced tag match but did Shield really need to lose another match in such a short span of time? The good thing though is the titles are now the main focus for the team once the big loss was already out of the way. The match was entertaining enough and it sets up the PPV as well so there isn’t much to complain about here.

It’s time for Fiesta Del Rio so here are the mariachis to play the champion to the ring. Ricardo does the full entrance and insults the crowd for some good cheap heat. There are red white and green balloons and a big bowl of chips and salsa. The pinata has Ziggler’s face on it which makes more sense than most pinatas (sidebar: I’ve never understood the mentality behind pinatas. “Hey kids, here’s one of your favorite cartoon characters. Now let’s beat it with a stick until it busts open and you can eat whatever comes out!”).

Del Rio says it’s time to celebrate him being a four time champion and we’re going to do it his way. He says he’s going to speak Spanish tonight, drawing a USA chant. Del Rio speaks Spanish and says this is a party for him and not for any of the people. When he won the title, he didn’t need to use a Money in the Bank contract like Ziggler did. The fans chant USA so Del Rio calls them ignorant and switches back to English.

We’ll start the games with the pinata. Del Rio busts it open with two swings and says he broke it open like he bashed Ziggler’s head in. He’ll do the same thing again at MITB to retain the title. Del Rio poses and wants to know where Ziggler is. This brings out Dolph for the brawl but Del Rio throws him into the salsa. Ziggler throws Ricardo through the food table and hits the Zig Zag on the champion. Dolph swings a guitar at Del Rio but Alberto runs away, leaving Ricardo to take El Cabong. Ziggler plays guitar with the mariachis as balloons fall to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I really liked the show tonight as we had some good matches and some solid angle advancement throughout the night. Ziggler looked like the hero they want him to be tonight and there’s a reason to hate Del Rio with the head injuries. WWE has flipped a switch in the last few weeks and their shows have been on fire ever since with this being their latest good effort.

Results

Sheamus b. Damien Sandow – Brogue Kick

Natalya b. AJ Lee – Rollup

Randy Orton b. Kane – RKO

Ryback b. Justin Gabriel – Shell Shock

Christian/Usos b. Shield – Spear to Ambrose

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Monday Night Raw – June 24, 2013: Daniel Bryan Is The Man

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 24, 2013
Location:
North Charleston Coliseum, North Charleston, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

The WWE is on a roll as of late with good Smackdowns, a good Payback and a great Raw last week. Tonight’s focus will likely be on Punk vs. Lesnar as Brock laid out Punk to close the show last week. We also have Henry vs. Cena on tap for Money in the Bank which should be entertaining given the roll Henry can get on when he’s in a zone. Hopefully the show is as good as it was last week. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the two big stories from last week: Brock vs. Punk and Henry vs. Cena.

Here’s Bryan to open the show. He says that some people have accused him of having some sort of a little man complex. To set the record straight, NO he was not an extra in the Hobbit. Over the years he’s fought toe to toe with some of the biggest people in the business including Randy Orton. The countout victory on Smackdown wasn’t enough because Bryan wants a pin or a submission in the middle of this ring. This brings out Orton to tell Bryan to shut up and fight which is exactly what Orton gets.

Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan jumps Orton to start but Randy takes it to the floor. He throws Daniel over the announce table and a brawl breaks out with Bryan diving at Orton against the barricade. The referee goes down and the match is thrown out at 1:20.

Bryan storms in on Vickie and Brad, DEMANDING a rematch later tonight. Brad says there isn’t time so Bryan says either he gets his match with Randy or he’s fighting Maddox later. Vince comes in to seemingly threaten Vickie and Brad but nothing comes of it.

Rhodes Scholars vs. Sheamus/Christian

Christian starts with Cody and gets two off a back elbow. They go outside with Christian being sent into the steps before Sandow gets two off the Wind-Up elbow. Cody hits a delayed front suplex but Christian fights up for a double clothesline to put both guys down. The hot tag brings in Sheamus to clean house with the ten forearms to Sandow’s chest. Off to Cody who eats a Brogue Kick for the pin at 4:40.

Rating: D. Why is it so hard to book Sheamus? They did the same thing last year against Alberto and now we’re getting it here too. For some reason the solution for Sheamus seems to be “have the same match over and over and wonder why people stop caring after the second time.” This is a horrible feud and I don’t know of anyone who cares about it.

Punk is in the back when Vickie tells him he has a match tonight. Punk shouts at Vickie and that’s about it.

Aksana vs. Kaitlyn

Kaitlyn pounds away to start as Kaitlyn’s own music plays. Cue AJ in a Kaitlyn costume (meaning heavily muscled) allowing Aksana to roll Kaitlyn up for two. Spear finishes Aksana at 1:25.

AJ makes fun of Kaitlyn for believing she had a secret admirer until Langston comes out. More jokes about Kaitlyn’s size are made and that’s about it.

Apparently Bray Wyatt tweets. Here’s another vignette of how creepy he is, but remember that he comes out of the swamp every now and then to tweet.

We recap Henry’s fake retirement last week. By recap I mean show half the segment.

Chris Jericho vs. Alberto Del Rio

This is a rematch from last Friday where Del Rio won by DQ. Jericho takes over to start and chops the champion into the corner. A snapmare gets two for Chris but Del Rio gets him into the corner for a kick to the ribs. Del Rio charges into a boot to the head and takes a middle rope dropkick for two. Del Rio is sent to the floor but jericho misses a dropkick and bangs up his knee to change momentum again.

Back with Jericho getting two each off a small package and an enziguri. Jericho goes up but gets caught by the corner enziguri to send him to the floor. Back in and Del Rio stomps away before putting on a quick chinlock. Chris chops up but misses a dropkick to put him right back down. Back to el chinlock by Alberto before Jericho is whipped chest first into the buckle. The Canadian comes back with a high cross body for two and a northern lights suplex gets the same.

Jericho avoids a charge in the corner to send Del Rio shoulder first into the post, but the champion blocks the Codebreaker. Jericho rolls into the Walls but Del Rio spins out just in time. The low superkick gets two for Alberto but Jericho counters the armbreaker into the bulldog. The Lionsault gets knees though and it’s off the armbreaker but Jericho springboards himself off the ropes and into the Walls but Ricardo comes in for the LAME DQ at 14:10.

Rating: B-. This would have been so much better had we not seen the exact same thing on Smackdown. That’s one of WWE’s biggest issues right now: there’s no space between these matches. We go from a match on Raw to the same match on Smackdown and then a third match on the next Raw. What time for a build or anything is there? The match here worked fine but the ending was painfully obvious about five minutes into the match.

Post match Ziggler runs in and hits a Zig Zag on both guys as payback for Jericho attacking him on Friday.

HHH comes in to see Brad and Vickie and apparently the WWE Universe wants to see Bryan vs. Orton tonight. However, HHH wants Vickie to over deliver. It should be a choice of what kind of match the match should have and Vickie of course agrees.

Jerry Lawler is in the ring to introduce Vickie Guerrero and Brad Maddox for the debut of the new WWE video game cover. There’s also a contest where you can submit and design the back cover of the game. Vickie is booed out of the building as she tells us we can vote on the stipulation for Bryan vs. Orton. You can pick street fight, lumberjack match or falls count anywhere. Now we jump back to the game by seeing Vickie’s cover design: HHH, Vince and Stephanie looking mad. Brad shows us his cover design: Cena, Punk and Maddox. Lawler shows us the real cover: The Rock.

Ryback vs. Great Khali

Khali shoves Ryback into the corner and chops him down but Ryback fires off some shoulders to the ribs. A clothesline puts Ryback down again but he comes right back with the Shell Shock for the pin at 2:18.

Here’s Cena to talk about what it means to be WWE Champion. Only 43 men have been WWE Champion and whether they were champion for over seven years like Bruno Sammartino or for one night like Rey Mysterio, they were the WWE Champion. He’s seen people chase the title and crack under the pressure once they get it, ad last week we saw the level that someone will sink to in order to be called WWE Champion.

Last week Henry cheated the WWE Universe and disgraced his family. Cena thought Henry’s false speech disgraced people like Edge, Shawn Michaels and Ric Flair who had to retire because they couldn’t do this anymore. Maybe Henry realizes that his time is coming to a close in the WWE and he has to do something to cement his legacy. This is where John Cena comes in, because in order to become a legend in this company, Henry has to go through him. It’s not Henry’s time though, because our time is now. Solid promo here from the man you call to put over a feud.

Tons of Funk vs. Usos vs. 3MB

The winners get a tag title shot, presumably at MITB. Tons of Funk have some guy who won a charity auction to come to the ring. It’s McIntyre and Mahal for 3MB here. Mahal starts with Jey who kicks Drew in the face and out to the apron. Off to Jimmy who gets run over by Tensai as everything breaks down. Brodus throws the Band out and dives off the apron to take them out. Back in the ring and Tensai gets two off the backsplash but it’s a superkick and Samoan Drop by Jey, setting up the Superfly Splash for the pin at 2:02.

Shield comes out to stare the Usos down post match.

Ad for The Call on DVD. David Otunga calls Halle Berry and isn’t funny. He also gave Kane her cell number.

Here’s Heyman to address the CM Punk/Brock Lesnar incident from last week. Heyman would rather do this in person though so here’s Punk for a discussion. First up, Punk thinks the fans should know why he’s a Paul Heyman guy. Back in 2005, Punk was signed to a WWE contract under VP of Talent Relations Johnny Ace. Ace thought Punk should be sent to Louisville, Kentucky to go through the developmental system.

At the time, Heyman was in charge of the developmental system, but he had been set up to fail. Punk was one of the guys designed to not succeed and a lot of the management told Heyman to cut Punk loose. Despite Heyman’s track record, WWE wouldn’t listen to him but Heyman never fired Punk. When ECW was restarted, Punk was the first draft pick (not really but whatever).

As for now though, Heyman needs to tell Brock Lesnar that Punk is coming for him. Heyman knows Punk personally and there’s no one more relentless or dangerous and Punk will do whatever it takes to bring the beast down. Now we can address the elephant in the room: what happened last week. Until last week, Heyman had never done Punk wrong. Punk wants to know if Heyman sent Brock Lesnar after him and for the first time in his life, Heyman better not lie.

Heyman says on his children, he didn’t know Brock was at Raw last week. The fans boo and Heyman says that’s exactly what the McMahons and Ace used to say when he said to keep Punk around. The moment Punk said Lesnar needed Heyman’s help, he picked a fight with Brock Lesnar. Heyman says there has always been professional jealous between them and that’s why we never saw Punk and Lesnar in the same ring together. Paul says he’s everything that Punk says he is and one day he’ll walk the aisle with Punk again when Punk is in the main event of Wrestlemania.

As uncomfortable as it is for everyone to hear, Heyman loves Punk and he’s not going to screw up his dreams because Punk needs a little time for himself. He’ll never represent anyone, including Lesnar, against Punk and that’s a problem between Heyman and Lesnar. Now everyone is telling Punk to get rid of Heyman so Heyman’s fate is in his hands. It’s Punk’s move and after a long staredown, he hugs Heyman and says he’s sorry for doubting him.

Darren Young vs. CM Punk

Young takes over to start and pounds him into the corner before whipping Punk across the ring. Darren stomps away and gets two off a suplex as this is one sided so far. The idea here is that Punk is all out of sorts because of the pre-match stuff. Off to a chinlock before Punk sends him into the corner for a running knee. Punk goes up but gets snapped throat first onto the top rope. Not that it matters as he comes back with the springboard clothesline for two. GTS is countered into the double knee gutbuster for two but it’s the Anaconda Vice for the tap out at 5:20.

Rating: D+. Young was trying but this was an exercise in killing time until Punk beat him. I don’t get the appeal of Young at all when he’s in the ring as he’s just a guy in trunks doing wrestling moves. Titus is a more interesting guy and far more entertaining but I guess they need to keep Young on the roster for some reason.

Post match the Players beat down Punk but Curtis Axel makes the save.

Vickie is on the phone yelling at Brad when Stephanie comes in. She’s mad that the Raw MITB participants haven’t been announced yet but she’ll go to it herself.

Here’s Stephanie to introduce the people in the WWE Championship MITB ladder match: CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, Sheamus, Randy Orton, Christian, Kane and Rob Van Dam.

In the back, Brad says he’s been working with Stephanie on the MITB roster when Ryback comes in to demand a title match. He wants to face Cena at the PPV but Jericho comes in and says he deserves to be in MITB. Ryback gets in Jericho’s face for whining. “I could eat you alive.” Vickie screeches and makes the match between them at MITB.

Post break Punk is annoyed at Heyman for sending Axel down for the save. Next week it’s Axel/Punk vs. the Players which makes Punk even more annoyed. He’ll do the match but he’ll prove that he can do it by himself. Then he’s going to win MITB and come after Lesnar because nothing else matters to him.

Here’s Mark Henry to address what happened last week. He brags about fooling all of us last week when people were cheering for him and holding up Henry signs. Henry saw people crying because he deserves an Academy Award. He’s had people like Steven Speilberg and Tyler Perry reaching out to him but that’s not what he wants. Last week he used his friends, family and other WWE superstars and he’s not apologizing to anyone.

For years people have been telling him how to live his life and he’s not having it anymore. People told him to stop hurting little kids and to go win at the Olympics. At Money in the Bank, a no good dirty lying Mark Henry is going to show up because the people are puppets. Last week he said he’s coming home and he is, but he’s coming home WWE Champion.

Wyatt Family promo.

The main event is a street fight with 50% of the vote.

Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan takes it to the corner for the kicks but Orton sends him into another corner to take over. They head to the outside with Orton sending Bryan into the steps and barricade. We go back inside but Bryan baseball slides Orton back to the floor. Bryan loads up the FLYING GOAT but charges head first into a chair as we take a break.

Back with Orton bringing in a table but the time spent with it allows Bryan to moonsault out of the corner. A running clothesline sets up the corner dropkick but Bryan’s second charge hits the chair. Another table has been set up at ringside but Bryan can’t dropkick Orton off the apron. Instead he baseball slides through Randy’s legs and powerbombs him through the table in a smart move.

That only gets two so it’s time for the kendo stick shots to Orton’s shoulder. Bryan alternates with kicks and stick shots, only to charge into a t-bone suplex through the table in the corner. Back up and they slug it out until Orton dropkicks Bryan down for no cover. Orton counters a top rope rana into a powerbomb for two but takes too long following up, allowing Bryan to hook the NO Lock.

Randy grabs the kendo stick with the free arm and beats the fire out of Bryan to escape before beating on him some more. The RKO is countered into a backslide for two and now it’s Bryan beating on Randy with the stick. Back to the NO Lock but Orton gets the stick again. This time though Bryan takes it away and uses the stick to pull on Orton’s face for the tap out at 15:46.

Rating: B+. This is the kind of win that Bryan needed. He beat the tar out of Orton here and got the win in the middle of the ring with a tap out. Daniel is on fire right now and the fans are totally buying into it which is a good sign for all the hard work that he’s put into his character over the last few months.

Post match Orton shakes Bryan’s hand and walks away to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The second half of this show was WAY better with the interesting angles and good promos shining through. The other stuff however, including far too much Vickie and Brad, dragged things back down to earth. Those two are so annoying and nothing ever comes of them, making all their heat worthless. We had less time spent on McMahons as well which is a huge help, but transferring their time over to other authority figures doesn’t make things any better. It’s a good show but it needs more focus on interesting stories instead of whatever the bosses are up to.

Results

Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan went to a double disqualification

Sheamus/Christian b. Rhodes Scholars – Brogue Kick to Rhodes

Kaitlyn b. Aksana – Spear

Chris Jericho b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered

Usos b. Tons of Funk and 3MB – Superfly Splash to Tensai

CM Punk b. Darren Young – Anaconda Vice

Daniel Bryan b. Randy Orton – NO Lock

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