Smackdown
Date: March 2, 2012
Location: Key Arena, Seattle, Washington
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

Orton is back tonight and he’s facing Daniel Bryan after Bryan gave him the concussion that put him out. I don’t remember if I ever heard how legit that injury was. Anyway, that’s the main event and it should be good, but I’d be shocked if we got a clean finish to it. Expect more of the Bryan vs. Sheamus build as well as some more Ace vs. Long stuff. Let’s get to it.

We open with what looks more like a commercial for the show than an opening video. It’s about the main event.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is bronchitis.

Here’s Sheamus to open the show. He says he’s thinking about Wrestlemania and being in front of over 80,000 members of the WWE Universe. FANS. THEY’RE CALLED FANS. When did that become a dirty word? I know “Members of the WWE Universe” has been their term for it for years now, but why is fans such a bad thing to say? Anyway he can’t wait to face Bryan. Bryan has become a changed man since he won the title, just like Sheamus did two years ago.

When Sheamus won his first world title, he became wrapped up in his own ego. However, he was lucky. He should have known that the WWE Title was the greatest trophy he could have earned. He became a bully instead though. You mean like he was before he won the title? What Sheamus needed was for someone to knock his block off. Bryan needs the same thing.

This brings out Vickie and Dolph for some reason. She liked his story but her favorite part was when Sheamus stopped talking. Ziggler says the people deserve to see him in the main event, not Sheamus. He says Sheamus’ hair is on fire. Sheamus says that joke is as old as Dolph’s grandmother Vickie. For some reason this leads to Vickie talking about Ace/Teddy and saying she’s the only non-McMahon to be GM of both shows. Teddy comes out and makes Dolph vs. Sheamus right now. I liked Sheamus’ promo here. He’s not the best talker in the world so keeping it simple is something that works well for him.

Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler

The match is joined in progress after a break but it doesn’t look like we’ve missed much. There was an ad talking about how Ace will run Smackdown next week so the announcers talk about that for awhile. Ziggler hits a dropkick but Sheamus keeps smiling. Sheamus comes back with forearms to the back and the ten in the ropes. The fans clearly really like Sheamus but they’ve given him no character development at all. It’s a lost art in WWE anymore.

Ziggler goes to the floor. Booker says stay on your bicycle Dolph. There’s an image for you, complete with Benny Hill music. Ziggler grabs a neckbreaker coming back in to take over. Another neckbreaker gets two so Dolph drops some elbows for the same result. Sheamus fights out of a chinlock and hits his power shots to come back. Powerslam gets two. Ziggler locks on a sleeper but Sheamus powers out of it by ramming Ziggler into the corner and out to the floor.

Dolph comes off the top but jumps into the Irish Curse. It gets two as Vickie puts the foot on the ropes. Sheamus loads up the Celtic Cross (Sheamus’, not Finlay’s). Irish Curse The Sequel gets two. Sheamus pounds his chest and shouts Brogue so Vickie calls out Swagger. The Kick takes him down but Ziggler hits a Fameasser. That only gets two so he tries the Zig Zag. Sheamus holds the ropes and catches Ziggler in the new finisher which is now called the White Noise.

Rating: B-. Pretty good match here with Sheamus continuing to roll over the upper midcard. Since they’re not going to give him and Bryan a concrete story, this works as well as anything else. Also it makes Sheamus look a lot stronger going into the PPV. At the end of the day though, he needs to pin Orton clean to really make himself look like the top challenger on Smackdown and I’m not sure I can see that. The other problem is that Bryan needs to be made to look strong also and I don’t think that’s going to happen.

We recap the Bryan vs. Punk stuff from Raw with the Battling Bosses.

Ace and Otunga are in Teddy’s office when Teddy comes in. Ace wants an apology for the attack by Teddy on Raw. Apparently Ace has a bad back now and its because of Teddy. Otunga is considering a civil suit against Teddy. Ace says an apology will do instead. Teddy says no because it made Ace look like “a cow on ice crossed with Sesame Street Big Bird.” Otunga vs. Khali on Monday. Ace suggests Teddy try yoga.

Heath Slater vs. Santino Marella

Santino attacks to start but the headbutt lands on knees. The announcers talk about Ace and Teddy. Cole: “See how tough he is?” Booker: “He used to have a skateboard. That’s how tough he is.” Anyway, Slater hits a Harlem Side Kick for two. He goes up but gets crotched and the Cobra ends it at 1:53.

Video on HHH vs. Undertaker, the same from Raw. The match simply isn’t as good as they’re trying to make it out to be. It’s very good. It’s a great match. It’s not this masterpiece that they’re pushing it as.

Natalya yells at Eve about Zach. Eve goes off on her about it and guess what Natalya winds up doing. You either want the Divas to be serious or you don’t. Pick one.

Natalya vs. Eve Torres

Natalya controls with a headlock and Booker has a thing for Eve. Now Booker diagnoses Natalya’s stomach issues. Eve slaps her so Natalya takes her down and pounds on her. Eve reverses a rollup into one of her own for the pin at 1:32.

Here’s Cody who has held the title for a very long time. If my math is right, if he holds the title until April 10, he’ll have held if for the longest reign since Rock’s in 97/98. Cody talks about Big Show’s Wrestlemania losses and shows some stills from the Akebono and Mayweather matches. Cody says Show should be thanking him for keeping Show out of Wrestlemania because Show would just floudner again. He’s got another Wrestlemania clip but Show cuts him off.

Cody runs into the crowd as soon as Show gets to the ring. Show says hang on a second. He wanted to watch the new clip with Cody like friends. Since Cody won’t come back though, Show better go get Cody. Cue Teddy who says hang on a minute. This isn’t Pamplona, Spain and Show can’t be running into the crowd like a bull. Show vs. Cody for the title is announced for Wrestlemania. That’s the second time the IC Title will be on the line at Mania since 2002.

Big Show vs. Mark Henry

Show takes him down to start but Henry fights back and clotheslines Show to the floor. The fans chant Sexual Chocolate as Show is sent into the timekeeper’s area. He gets back to the apron at 8 but Henry rams him into the exposed buckle as we take a break. Back with Henry pounding him down and Cody on commentary. Back to the floor and Henry rams Show’s back into the post.

With Show still against the post, Mark throws the steps at him. Since that would result in probable death, Show moves. Henry knocks him down again and hits a Vader Bomb for two. Show hits a superkick and a “spear” (it was a shoulder block) to take Henry down. Show sets for the chokeslam but gets caught in the Slam for two. So long Henry, hope you enjoyed your time in the main event. Henry charges into the corner but walks into the WMD for the pin at 5:22 shown of 8:52.

Rating: C-. It’s such a shame to see someone like Henry who has raised his game so much over the last six months and shocked the world by becoming a legit world champion to be sent down to this because of the way the WWE main event pushes work. Instead of going and feuding with a midcard face, they need to have him against other top good guys and losing, making his whole summer of dominance seem like it was nothing at all. Such is life in the WWE anymore.

Teddy tells Drew if he loses he’s fired. Again.

Orton says he’s back to normal, which means angry and wanting revenge. Bryan decided to pay the price and tonight Orton is going to collect.

Drew McIntyre vs. Justin Gabriel

Drew starts by blocking a kick and getting a clothesline for two. Another spin kick misses and Drew hits a big boot for two. Into the corner but Drew’s tilt-a-whirl slam is countered into a DDT. Gabriel goes up and hits the 450 for the pin at 1:44. Justin hit two moves the whole match.

Teddy pops up on screen and fires Drew. At least until next week when Ace rehires him because he sees a lot of potential in him or something. They mentioned that Ace discovered Drew and brought him to WWE in the first place during the match.

We get ALL of Rock and Cena from Monday. The version I watch is divided into 6 fifteen minute parts. I literally skipped all of part 5 because of this. There was NOTHING in there they could clip?

Daniel Bryan says he hasn’t changed since he won the title. He’s still the same down to Earth person who was born and raised in Aberdeen, Washington. However he moved to Vegas as soon as possible. He calls himself a role model and talks about how he beat Giant and Henry in a cage and five others in the Elimination Chamber.

Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton

The fans are split on Bryan. Orton sends him to the floor quickly and throws Bryan into things. He sends Bryan into the steps and kicks Bryan’s head into them. Back in Orton loads up a superplex but Bryan shoves him off and takes over. Knee to the head gets two as we take a break. Back with Bryan working over the arm and shoulder. Booker says that he’ll never call Bryan D-Bry again. Bryan stays on the shoulder but Orton hits a dropkick to get some seperation.

Booker runs down AJ now, calling Bryan her meal ticket. Is AJ really a heel, or does she just associate with one? I’m not exactly sure. The dropkick gets two. Bryan kicks him in the shoulder so Orton throws him into the Elevated DDT. RKO is countered twice and Bryan heads to the floor. Orton follows him and loads up the Elevated DDT on the floor….but here’s Kane. Didn’t see that one coming. The bell rings, presumably for a countout since Kane hasn’t touched anyone, at 6:30 shown of 10:00.

Rating: C. Well we knew it wasn’t going to be a clean finish. I’d assume this is going to set up Kane vs. Orton at Wrestlemania. That’s a feud I’ve always wanted to see as I’m a fan of both guys. It’s as good as anything else they’re going to get and it gives them both something to do. The match was just ok though as they didn’t have the time to get anything good going.

Orton goes straight at Kane for no apparent reason. Kane might have been coming to ask Booker if he wanted to buy some Girl Scout cookies. They go into the ring but Kane is clotheslined to the floor. He pulls Orton out and they brawl on the floor for a bit. Back inside and Orton’s shoulder goes into the post. A chokeslam puts Randy down and Kane wants a mic. He says welcome back Randy and that’s it.

Ace says it’s Kane vs. Aksana next week.

Overall Rating: B. I liked this show a lot. This is more the Smackdown style: steady as it goes and set up matches for the PPV. Here we set up the IC Title match, Kane vs. Orton and they furthered the Smackdown world title match. With four weeks to go until the PPV, that’s a pretty solid show as far as building to the PPV. I could have done without 1/6 of the show being about Cena vs. Rock though. They could have cut that down to about five minutes and it would have been fine. Better show than most recent ones here though.

Results
Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler – White Noise
Santino Marella b. Heath Slater – Cobra
Eve Torres b. Natalya – Rollup
Justin Gabriel b. Drew McIntyre – 450 Splash
Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton went to a double countout

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Ziggler seems to be ok and even worked a dark match with Punk. Barrett has a dislocated elbow. No word on missing time or if he has a broken arm also. Cody and Truth were banged up as well but it doesn’t look to be too bad.

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 13, 2012
Location: Valley View Casino Center, San Diego, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the final show before Elimination Chamber which is the final major show before Wrestlemania. That being said, the Chamber is pretty much set and it appears that one way or another, Punk and Jericho will be feuding after the PPV. It should be interesting to see what the final push is here and if they add any other matches to the card beforehand. Let’s get to it.

We open with the ending of last week’s show where Kane got in Eve’s face. Kane says that tonight, Cena embraces the hate and someone takes a ride in the ambulance.

We open in the arena….with a debate. All six of the Raw guys in the Chamber are going to have a debate. Punk is asked how he thinks he’ll overcome the odds when he’s interrupted by Ace. Ace is back and that’s about it. As for the question, Punk says this debate will NOT end in violence. As for old snickleprints, aka Clown Shoes, congratulations for maintaining power. Punk thinks Ace must have something like beastiality pictures of the Board members to keep his job. He’ll win because he’s the best in the world.

Vickie asks for no booing and Dolph says he’s better than everyone. Truth says if he’s elected, he’ll trade Vickie and Dolph for Hornswoggle and a box of spiders. Ziggler: “HOW DO YOU WORK HERE???” Truth will also make it legally required to say WHAT after every line of the Pledge of Allegiance. Now back to the issue at hand, he’s going to stomp that box of spiders and make them into Spider Stew, which is high in protein and low in carbs. With Little Jimmy by his side, he’ll drink the stew which will make him strong enough to win the Chamber.

Miz gets to follow that. He says he was the main event of Wrestlemania last year. As for his opponents, Kofi is an afterthought, Truth is insane and should be replaced by Little Jimmy. Punk will melt faster than his ice cream bars. Ziggler has only scored with an old woman….and the buzzer rings before Miz can get to Jericho. He keeps talking and the buzzer keeps going.

Kofi says everything can change in one night and he’s tired of being an afterthought. We actually get a Kofi chant. Jericho says he’s surrounded by neophytes and that he’s the best in the world. He’s been in more Chambers and eliminated more people than anyone ever has. He won the last time he was in it too. Punk should just give him the title right now. Punk says he was thinking of the time when Jericho finished 7th on Dancing With The Stars.

Dolph goes off and says this is stupid. Truth says he won’t be talked down to by a man named after Flipper, and we get some dolphin sounds. Jerry says we’re getting all six of them in singles matches tonight, so let’s start with Jericho vs. Kofi. Jericho shoves his podium over and walks up to Punk. Punk holds up the title and Kofi kicks Jericho’s head off.

Chris Jericho vs. Kofi Kingston

This starts after a break. Jericho is still shaken up so Kofi clotheslines him to the outside and hits a suicide dive. Jericho goes face first into the table and they head back in. Chris gets in some right hands and a senton backsplash for two. Off to a modified chinlock but Kofi comes back with a cross body. Jerry makes fun of Jericho’s statements that he came up with all those ideas. Kofi tries a springboard dropkick but lands in the Walls. He makes the ropes after a good while but pops up with Trouble in Paradise which gets a very delayed two. Jericho gets up and the Codebreaker ends this clean at 5:21.

Rating: B-. The match was good but I really don’t get the idea of having Kofi talk about becoming a bigger deal and then having him lose clean like this. Yeah he got in a lot of offense, but maybe they shouldn’t be having matches between six guys that you want to look strong going into a PPV match between them. Just a thought.

We get a clip from the Rumble with Ryder getting Tombstoned.

Cena is with Ryder in the back and Ryder is in a neckbrace and wheelchair. Ryder has flowers for Eve though because he can’t stay away from her. Cena offers to bring her here and keep watch.

Otunga says Ace isn’t the permanent GM but he has an idea to make him GM of both shows.

We recap Big show vs. Orton on Smackdown and get some post show bonus footage where Show chokeslammed Orton.

Here’s Bryan for commentary I believe.

Big Show vs. Randy Orton

This also starts after a break. Show throws Orton around as the size is just too much for Randy. Orton is all shaken as we take a break. Back with Randy holding a sleeper. He jumps on Show’s back and Show goes down to one knee. Show breaks it up but walks into a great dropkick. Orton covers but is launched to the floor on the kickout. Show glares at Bryan who Cole has been complimenting all match.

Another dropkick drapes Show on the top rope and it’s a SUPER elevated DDT. Cole calls it extra vintage. How can it be vintage when it’s never happened before? Orton loads up the RKO and they horribly botch it with Orton never even leaving his feet. Show tries a chokeslam but Randy escapes and hits a good RKO as Bryan runs in for the DQ at 7:21.

Rating: C+. Better match here than Bryan and Show have been having lately. That’s not a knock on Bryan, but there’s only so much Show can sell for him without it getting ridiculous. The botched RKO was awful but the DDT was pretty cool. Bryan running in might as well have been plastered on a board, but this wasn’t terrible.

Bryan lays them both out with the belt post match.

Here’s Shawn for his big promo with HHH. Shawn talks about how people on Twitter ask him why he always shows up at this time of year. BECAUSE IT’S WRESTLEMANIA!!! He says he can’t be the Main Event anymore, but he can be Mr. Hall of Fame now.

Last week he was watching Raw (and yes he gets TV in the middle of nowhere place that he lives) and was waiting for HHH to say yes to Undertaker. Shawn heard him say no and then called Ace, saying he needed to talk to HHH. Then he thought HHH was just messing with the people and Undertaker. Shawn calls out HHH and even plays air guitar during the entrance.

Here’s the Game and they hug. They throw up an X as required by law. HHH says it’s great to see Shawn who has managed to stop hunting wabbits with Elmer Fudd. However, HHH isn’t going to face Taker at the PPV. Shawn saw Undertaker leave last year and HHH know he’d have to end Taker to beat him, and that’s not the guy he is anymore. Shawn says he’s stuck by HHH forever, even when he married that girl. Did that make HHH one of them, as in a corporate sellout?

The Game doesn’t like that. He says it’s called investing in the future. HHH says Shawn can’t understand it so they’re not having this argument here. Shawn says he’s a simple guy and it’s hard for him to understand this corporate stuff. However, he knows a coward when he sees one. No matter how much money you put around it, a coward is still a coward. The fans chant one more match and HHH leaves. Shawn says yeah walk away like a coward.

HHH freaks and comes back, saying Shawn can’t understand what’s going on. Shawn sits on his ranch with his wife and kids but HHH has real life responsibilities. All of this is going to be his and it means its his responsibility. You can’t look at Taker like an opponent because you can’t. Undertaker is a brand who is good for business. Their breed is gone and there’s a new one in town. Only Taker is left and HHH won’t be the one to end that era.

HHH goes nuclear on Shawn, saying that Shawn can’t push HHH to do what Shawn couldn’t get done. Shawn says that’s a great speech that would work on most people, but he’s at peace with where he’s at. HHH has no peace though. He needs to look Shawn in the eye and say he doesn’t want to end the Streak. HHH starts to walk away but Shawn pulls him back and says look him in the ey. There goes the jacket and Shawn puts the mic down. HHH looks him in the eye and says no. Shawn looks like he’s about to cry. He leaves and HHH stands alone in the ring.

He goes to leave…..and a gong sounds. We get another promo video from Taker saying this isn’t over. Taker’s hands are seen pulling out a nice and cutting his hair. He says keep your pity and give me what is mine: immortality. Back in the arena HHH pulls his tie off and we go to a break. WOW that was good.

R-Truth vs. Dolph Ziggler

Dolph takes over to start and hits a dropkick. He struts around and does his handstand in the chinlock. There’s a slam and Ziggy does his situps. Truth however rolls him up for a pin at 2:35.

Santino comes to see Ryder and offers him a breath mint. This isn’t funny.

Tamina Snuka vs. Brie Bella

The name change should help. Beth is on commentary for this and will defend the title on Sunday against Tamina. Brie takes over quickly but Tamina hits a jawbreaker to escape. Snuka hits Nikki and then a Samoan Drop to set up the Superfly Splash for the pin at 1:25. Just how I like my Divas matches: nice and short.

Video on The Rock. He’s a movie star you know.

We go to Cena for a reaction on that video but we hear a woman screaming. It’s Eve who is being thrown into the ambulance by Kane. Cena comes to her rescue but the door is locked. Kane gets back up and slams Cena into said door before getting into the driver’s seat. Cena manages to get up and open the door and Eve dives to him. Kane drives off and Eve kisses him. Cena asks what that was for. We pan over to Ryder who is STUNNED and wants to know what that was.

After a break Ryder is wheeling away and is sorry to see that happens. She just wants to be friends. Ryder is disgusted and wheels away.

CM Punk vs. The Miz

Somehow it’s 10:48 already. This show has flown by and in a good way. Poor Zack is the #1 trending topic in the world. Miz takes over to start and works on the left arm. Reality Check is countered and Punk kicks Miz’s head off. Notice that Punk shakes the feeling back into his arm. That’s called selling and it’s a GOOD THING. Punk strikes away but the arm isn’t working right.

Miz pounds on the arm some more so Punk uses his right arm and legs. The knee and a right arm bulldog look to set up the GTS. Miz escapes into the short DDT for two and there’s the running clothesline in the corner. He comes off the top but Punk grabs a powerslam for two. The Macho Elbow (presumably) is broken up and Miz loads up a superplex. Punk comes back and hits the elbow for two. Miz pops up and tries the Finale but Punk reverses into the Anaconda Vice for the tap at 5:00.

Rating: C. This was a quick match but it wasn’t that bad at all. Miz kept moving and that’s the right idea. He’s not great in the ring but when he’s going fast enough and doesn’t have to be on offense all that much, he can be pretty entertaining. I’m not wild about him losing clean in five minutes, but whatever.

The ambulance is back.

Post break here’s Cena. He says there was an awkward moment back there and for what it’s worth Zack, he’s sorry. This was Kane’s plan all along: to turn everyone against him and make him embrace the hate. It’s a solid plan and it would have worked on anybody else. He’s not anybody else though. For some reason people think there’s an evil switch he can just turn on and off. The fans chant that they don’t hate him.

Cena says it’s been like six years and he’s comfortable in his own skin. Cena says he rises above hate and maybe they were chanting we all hate you. The people can think he’s a lady part having Fruity Pebbles guy, which draws a Fruity Pebbles chant. He says he’ll keep adapting and winning. This Sunday, Kane leaves in an ambulance. As for Dwayne (Rocky chant), Cena has a message for him for Wrestlemania.

Hold that though as here’s Ryder in the wheelchair. He gets up on his crutches and very slowly walks down to the ring. Cena tries to explain but Ryder knocks the mic out of his hands. Cena tries to explain again but Ryder slaps him. John takes the shirt off and the fans chant broken back. Ryder says Cena was never his friend and goes to hit Cena again.

Cena blocks it and pulls his own fist back but Ryder falls to the floor. Ryder says stay away from him and leaves. Cena didn’t hit him. Kane pops up on screen and says that Cena has embraced the hate. Sunday will be his last match until Mania because Cena will have his body leaving the WWE in an ambulance. Kane asks for a round of applause for Cena.

Kane then pops up behind Ryder and SHOVES HIM OFF THE STAGE IN HIS WHEELCHAIR! Cena panics and says get help which is there almost immediately. Eve comes out showing off some nice crack and is all worried. The fans chant for Cena for some reason. Ryder is taken out to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. There isn’t much to fault in this show. This was almost all storyline but they were on fire with them tonight. The stories were interesting and we got some great moments like Ryder’s shock and awe over the kiss. I’m curious as to what they’re doing with him but they can’t have more bad stuff happen to him. Oh who am I kidding, of course they can. Great show tonight.

Results
Chris Jericho b. Kofi Kingston – Codebreaker
Randy Orton b. Big Show via DQ when Daniel Bryan interfered
R-Truth b. Dolph Ziggler – Small Package
Tamina Snuka b. Brie Bella – Superfly Splash
CM Punk b. The Miz – Anaconda Vice

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 6, 2012
Location: Chesapeake Energy Arena, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re on the second of the three Raws between the Rumble and the Chamber. Last week’s show was pretty awesome with the return of Undertaker to apparently challenge HHH. Also it appears that HHH is back in charge instead of Johnny Ace which should at least be interesting. We should get some more matches for the PPV tonight too. Let’s get to it.

We open with a gong. Oh wait it’s just a recap from last week with Taker returning and seeming challenging HHH.

6 Pack Challenge tonight with the winner entering the Chamber last. Also Show vs. Bryan.

Here’s HHH to open things up. He says he was here last week to fire Johnny Ace. He wasn’t here to wish him well, but rather well in all of his future endeavors. However he never got that far. Ace being called a man is an exaggeration as he’s more of a weasel. Apparently Ace flew to Stamford to plead for another chance and HHH has to wait on the proposal. The decision should be in by tomorrow morning.

However he’s not here for that, but rather to talk about the return of the Undertaker. He talks about hearing the gong go off and it still gives him chills. Taker is the only person that humbles HHH when they’re in the ring together. Last week though, HHH didn’t feel humble or anything like that. He felt sorry for the Undertaker. He knows what he did to Undertaker last year and he chooses to remember the Undertaker in a certain way.

HHH plays a highlight reel of Taker’s career and I think this is all from Wrestlemania. That’s how HHH wants to remember him, not like this, which brings up a video of Taker not being able to stand after last year’s match. Due to that, the challenge for Wrestlemania is declined. If they have to do it again, HHH will have to finish it. He respects Taker too much and this is over.

HHH goes to leave and his music cuts off. There go the lights and a video from the match last year plays. Taker is somewhere and says it’s not over. The victory last year means nothing and he wants what belongs to him. So it’s Shawn’s storyline from two years ago with Taker in Shawn’s place?

Daniel Bryan vs. Big Show

AJ comes out with Bryan in a neckbrace. Show takes him straight to the corner and the power begins. He throws Bryan around a lot until Bryan gets in a kick to the knee and we take a break. Back with Bryan’s half crab being broken as Big Show powers him around. Spear gets two. Show loads up the chokeslam but Bryan counters into a guillotine choke. Bryan gets in a shot to the leg and goes up but Show kicks him to the floor. Now Bryan is holding his knee but he was goldbricking. Show charges at Bryan but almost crushes AJ again. Bryan takes AJ to the back and loses by countout at 7:32.

Rating: D+. These two just do not work well against each other at all. Show is good against someone like Henry. The problem is that Bryan is not Henry and can’t have a ton of convincing offense against the Big Show. That makes the matches quite boring so what’s the point of watching them fight, especially when Bryan loses almost every time?

Bryan says Show tried to run her over on purpose and she’s more important than the title. On Sunday (the PPV is in two weeks), he’ll still be Bryan, a vegan and the champion.

Carl Edwards, a NASCAR driver drove his car into the arena last week and met with Cena. Cena will be the official starter for the Daytona 500.

Video on the Elimination Chamber.

Here’s Otunga in the ring and he has something to say. He praises Ace and wants the Board of Directors to keep Ace on the job. Otunga asks for us to join him in prayer and he Tebows. We get an announcement from HHH that right now, Otunga has a match.

Sheamus vs. David Otunga

Otunga is in his suit, sweater and bowtie. Sheamus immediately loads up the Celtic Cross but Otunga escapes, losing the sweater in the process. A double ax takes him down and there are the ten forearms. The shirt is torn now as well. Otunga holds onto the top rope and grabs a DDT to take over. He stomps away and chokes a little bit but Sheamus is all ticked off. Brogue Kick ends this in 2:04.

Here’s Jericho who says the end of the world is here. He’s here to end the lying, the plagiarism and all that jazz. Everyone who is in this ring is a Chris Jericho wannabe. The fans are all wannabes too. He got all of the fans to believe whatever he wanted. Jericho admits he trolled all of them. Miz scowling in a suit is a Jericho thing. Kofi flying around is a Jericho thing. Dolph walking to the ring with Vickie is a Jericho thing because he walked to the ring with Stephanie. O……..k?

Then we have CM Punk. Punk says he’s the best in the world but in reality he’s a Chris Jericho wannabe and he knows deep down inside that Jericho is the best in the world. He doesn’t have to write it on the back of a t-shirt but he knows it. Jericho is back to claim what is his and that means the end of the world of CM Punk. Here’s Punk who comes in with a mic and drops it. Instead he holds up the title then turns his back on Jericho. Jericho looks like he’s pulling his arm back to hit Punk but doesn’t and the champ leaves. Jericho yells about wanting Punk to say something but Punk keeps walking.

Randy Orton/Great Khali vs. Wade Barrett/Cody Rhodes

Orton and Barrett start but it’s quickly off to Khali with the chops. He chops Orton HARD for the tag back in. Off to Rhodes and we’re in an 80s style kick and punch match. Orton hits the elevated DDT and Khali tags himself back in. They get in an argument but Khali chops Rhodes out of the air during a Beautiful Disaster attempt for the pin at 3:45.

Rating: D-. This match happened. That’s about all I’ve got for it. I get that it’s supposed to push the idea of distension and everything but that doesn’t mean that it’s a good match. Khali was supposed to be dominant and while it kind of worked, the execution of it came off as horrible.

Khali tries to chop Orton post match but takes the RKO instead.

Now we hear about a Twitter argument between Rock and Cena. Now we see the Cena video AGAIN.

Tamina/Alicia Fox/Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix/Natalya/Bella Twins

We get an inset promo from Beth who talks about how she’s unbeatable. She starts with Eve and the beating begins. Off to a Bella who is chopped in the chest to bring her in. She walks into a Samoan Drop from Tamina and the Superfly Splash ends this in 1:33.

HHH is in the back when Ace comes up. Ace is all smiley and says he’s still the interim GM. He met with the Board earlier today and they’re very nice people. He’ll accept whatever decision they make. Shawn is going to be here next week. Also it’s officially Cena vs. Kane in an ambulance match. Speaking of ambulances, HHH says Ace’s career is on a flatline. If Ace doesn’t leave right now, he’ll be flatlined.

The decision on Ace will be announced tomorrow morning at 10AM.

We get the same video from earlier with Taker’s voiceover.

Ace says he thinks the Board is looking for someone honest rather than someone who is a brute.

CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth vs. The Miz vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kofi Kingston

This is one fall to a finish and the winner gets to be #6 in the Chamber. Roberts fumbles over the rules before the match starts. Everyone is in the ring at once so I’m not going to try to keep up with what’s going on. Jericho heads to the floor which is a smart move. Other than him, everyone but Ziggler and Kofi go to the floor. Truth TOTALLY misses a dive and crashes to the floor on his back.

Ziggler teases a dive but stops to strut. Punk clotheslines him down for two as we take a break. Back and Truth is carried out. Jericho and Kofi are on the floor and Kofi is down. Punk hits a combination neckbreaker/DDT on both heels but it only gets two on Miz. The Vice goes on both guys but Kofi makes the save. It’s down to Punk vs. Jericho but Miz and Dolph come back in.

Jericho and Miz clothesline each other down as this match is going VERY slowly. Punk goes up for a superplex on Dolph but it winds up being a Tower of Doom. Miz covers Punk as Jericho covers Dolph so the referee counts both, getting two both times. Miz tries for the Finale on Jericho but Kofi comes in with Trouble in Paradise to Miz, sending him to the floor. Middle rope missile dropkick takes Kofi down and it’s off to a chinlock.

Jericho misses the Lionsault and blocks Trouble in Paradise. There are the Walls for Kofi but Punk comes back in with a knee to the back of Jericho’s head. Chris is sent to the floor and Ziggler tries a rollup, getting two. GTS takes Ziggler down but Jericho breaks it up, sending Punk onto the table. Jericho slides in and steals the pin on Ziggler at 12:25.

Rating: C+. The problem with this show is based in this match. The problem is that with so many people being in this match, there’s nothing else to get us through the rest of the show. This was decent but once Truth was gone, the crowd was basically dead for the rest of the time. It’s not bad but it’s nothing great.

Jericho sits like Punk in the ring.

We hear screaming and Eve is being yelled at by Kane. He says he has to do something because of the hate. Cena is starting to embrace the hate and when he finally does it fully, he’ll be in a better place. Until then though, Kane is afraid for Eve and Cena. More than that though, he’s afraid of himself. Ok then.

Overall Rating: C+. This was much more about storytelling and moving things forward towards the Chamber and then on to Mania. It wasn’t as good as last week’s, but we got a lot done tonight which needed to happen. There’s plenty of time before Mania, so it was good to get some of this out of the way. The problem with the main event as I said though is that it gives us nothing but Smackdown matches before then, which is ok but it still gets a little boring. Good show but not great.

Results
Big Show b. Daniel Bryan via countout
Sheamus b. David Otunga – Brogue Kick
Great Khali/Randy Orton b. Cody Rhodes/Wade Barrett – Chop to Rhodes
Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Tamina/Alicia Fox b. Beth Phoenix/Natalya/Bella Twins – Superfly Splash to Brie Bella
Chris Jericho b. CM Punk, Dolph Ziggler, Kofi Kingston, The Miz and R-Truth – Jericho pinned Ziggler after a GTS from Punk

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Royal Rumble 2012
Date: January 29, 2012
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

The Road to Wrestlemania begins tonight, even with the Elimination Chamber being in a month and messing things up all over again. The even money is on either Jericho, Orton or Sheamus as the dark horse. This probably marks the only time that he’s ever been considered dark in his life but it’s a special occasion. Oh and there are two world title matches tonight too if you care about that sort of thing. Let’s get to it.

Now we’ve been promised a great main event here tonight. They wouldn’t lie to us. Not a wrestling company.

The opening video is your usual one for something like this: everyone saying they want to go to the Rumble.

Smackdown World Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Big Show vs. Mark Henry

It says a lot when the Smackdown main event is opening the show. It’s been like 2 years since they’ve gotten a main event. Anyway, Bryan is the champion in case the zombie apocalypse has occurred and you have no access to finding out who champion was and you’ve somehow found my flash drive. Henry legit injured his knee on Smackdown so it should be interesting to see if he does much tonight.

Pin, submission or escape to win. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Bryan goes for a quick escape but the monsters pull him down. Show takes Henry down with a quick shoulder block and then splashes him against the cage. He does it again but I guess he’s not Bobby Lashley as the cage doesn’t break, even on the third attempt. Bryan tries to escape but Show makes the save.

Show takes over and throws Bryan into the cage. The big punch hits the cage and Bryan goes after….the leg. That works about as it does every time you go after a giant’s leg and Show rams him into various things. Bryan kicks him in the knee to take him down and then goes after Bryan. Danny calls for the door to be open but Henry goes for the save. Show kicks Henry in the face to take over again.

Bryan gets thrown into the cage a bunch of times and a hard slam puts him down. Henry comes back as we’re into the regular formula of one guy stays down while the others fight. Mark misses a charge into the cage and Show spears him which Bryan gets two off of. Bryan escapes a chokeslam and tries a LeBell Lock on Show but Henry makes the save. Henry loads up the Slam on Bryan but Show knocks him out with the punch for two as Bryan saves. Bryan goes to escape but Show grabs onto him. After holding on for awhile, Bryan falls down and escapes for the win at 9:13.

Rating: C-. Not bad here and hopefully it gets Bryan away from these monsters. There’s only so much he can do against guys this size without looking ridiculous. They laid around a lot in this but that’s the accepted formula in triple threats. By that I mean one person would stay down for way too long off a basic move but Henry needed the break given his knee. Not bad but it felt like a Smackdown main event instead of a PPV title match.

Bryan does his overblown celebration post match.

Elimination Chamber promo with Amazing Grace playing over Sheamus talking.

Cena video on his mainstream media appearances and international appeal. Basically filler.

Bella Twins/Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres/Tamina/Alicia Fox/Kelly Kelly

Title defenses? What are those? I didn’t know Beth was alive anymore. Tamina and Natalya start us off and thankfully it lasts longer than their match this past Friday. Off to Eve who I thought turned heel. Eve does her usual stupid dancing offense and it’s off to Beth. Off to a Bella who gets two and hooks a chinlock. Booker actually asks why Lawler likes the Bellas. Alicia comes in and beats on whichever Bella that is. Does it really even matter? Off to Eve and everyone goes outside where Kelly hits a big dive. Beth slaps her way in and the Glam Slam kills Kelly dead at 5:23.

Rating: D+. The dive was cool and this was one of the better Divas matches I can remember in awhile, but is there any point to this division anymore? That’s the first time I remember seeing Beth in forever and the match was an 8 person tag instead of something for the title. When’s the last time she defended it on TV? Based on what I can find, her last three defenses have been at TLC, Survivor Series and Vengeance.

Video on Ryder being injured.

Ryder is here in a back brace and says he’s here to watch Cena beat Kane up. He runs into Johnny Ace who has a personal room ready for Zack. Eve comes up to run her mouth on Ace and calls him vindictive, pompous and a word I couldn’t understand. Eve wheels him into the dressing room.

John Cena vs. Kane

Mostly booing for Cena here. Cena goes straight for Kane but is taken down quickly. The dueling chants begin and Cena fires off punches, knocking Kane to the floor. They brawl outside and Kane goes knee first into the steps. AA doesn’t work as Cena falls forward. Off to the chinlock and the match slows way down. Cena fights up and we get the boo/yay punch sequence. Uppercut by Kane gets two as does a suplex and it’s back to the chinlock.

Cena fights up and makes a comeback but Kane punches him right back down. A corner splash hits Cena but the second is countered by a drop toehold into the middle buckle. The idea is that Cena can’t really hurt Kane, as in the story to almost all of Kane’s matches. Cena counters the smother into a Crossface. Kane escapes and a side slam gets two for the masked man. The top rope clothesline puts Cena down and here comes the chokeslam. Cena ducks it and tries his shoulder blocks but Kane pops up. ProtoBomb looks to set up the Shuffle but Kane pops up and kicks him back down.

They go to the corner and Cena knocks him off. Cena hits a top rope Five Knuckle Shuffle and tries the AA but Kane escapes. Cena goes for the knee and tries the STF but gets kicked to the floor. Kane rams him into the apron and they fight up the ramp for the double countout. I forgot to time it but it ran roughly 15 minutes.

Rating: D+. Very slow match here and pretty boring. The idea that Cena can’t hurt Kane got boring quickly and the ending didn’t help things at all. I don’t really get where they’re going with this, but I’d assume it’s going towards something about Cena being evil but rising above it. Just dull for the most part and the same stuff done over and over again.

Cena rams something that looked like equipment into Kane and they go into the backstage area. Kane is sent into trashcans which doesn’t really stop him. The Big Fried Freak grabs a chair and pops Cena with it about four times. Wouldn’t you know it we’re right next to Ryder’s dressing room? Kane goes in and smothers Ryder into presumably death.

Kane comes back out with Ryder in the wheelchair. He wheels Ryder into the ring and here’s Eve to try to make the save. This goes about as well as you would think and Ryder gets tombstoned. Cena finally comes back to fight Kane but walks into a chokeslam. Kane leaves and Ryder gets taken out on a stretcher.

Don’t Be A Bully.

Same kind of video on Rock from earlier. He talks about his movie and this is just eating up time.

Drew McIntyre vs. Brodus Clay

Remember what I said about filler? Brodus dances and jiggles as Drew hits him. A headbutt to the chest puts Drew down and there’s the suplex. I know because Brodus said suplex right before he hit it. Splash in the corner and What The Funk ends this in 1:15.

We recap Punk vs. Ziggler. Punk has been screwed by Johnny Ace multiple times now and keeps calling him a failure and all those things. Ace has finally said that he’s going to screw Punk as he’s the guest referee. He’s being evaluated tomorrow night so the question is will he screw Punk because he’s got nothing to lose or will he play it fair?

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Johnny Ace is referee. Actually scratch that as he says he’ll be outside referee and there will be a regular one in the ring. We get big match intros as we should. Punk gets a nice reaction. Before the bell, Ace comes in and throws Vickie out. My goodness they’re actually following continuity! Punk won a match a few weeks ago that ensured Vickie wouldn’t be out here if you remember that.

Ziggler goes for a quick Fameasser and Punk goes for a quick GTS which both miss. Ace is texting already. They start with a nice sequence of counters and avoiding moves. This is going to be a chess match. Sunset flip gets two for the champ and he tries the Vice but Ziggy gets to the ropes. Punk takes it to the mat quickly and we go outside. Punk gets in a few shots and goes up top back in but Ziggler knocks him off for two. The champ is holding his neck.

Neckbreaker puts Punk down and Ziggler drops about ten elbows, finishing with a jumping elbow for a one count. Off to a chinlock for a few moments. Punk fights up and they slug it out. Ziggler grabs a sleeper which Punk reverses into an Anaconda attempt. Back to the sleeper but it’s not all the way on. Ziggler rolls off and a dropkick gets two. He tries a running Fameasser but gets caught in a helicopter bomb for two.

Punk fires off strikes and a swinging neckbreaker to put Dolph down. There are the knee and bulldog and Punk has the fire in his eyes. GTS is countered into a catapult but Punk lands on the middle rope. Ziggler rolls through a cross body for two with tights. Punk gets a running boot for a delayed two. This has been FAR better than any other match tonight. Punk slams him to set up the elbow but stops because it’s near Ace. He goes up anyway and the elbow gets two. It also draws a Randy Savage chant and a smile from me.

Another GTS attempt is countered by Ziggler and Punk is shoved into the referee. Ace tries to wake him up and Punk gets the Vice. Ziggler taps but there’s no referee because Ace is trying to revive him. Punk lets it go and yells at Ace. Ziggler rolls him up but Punk reverses into a rollup of his own. It would get three but there’s still no referee. John rolls the referee back in and keeps checking on him.

Punk finally shoves Ace and yells at him. Ziggler tries to jump him but gets caught in the GTS. Ace gets knocked down by Dolph’s feet and thinks Punk intentionally hit him. There’s STILL no referee to count the pin, but he’s on his knees now. Ace won’t count so Punk says the next GTS is for him. Punk loads up another GTS on Ziggler but Dolph counters into a Fameasser in a SWEET counter but it only gets two.

Ziggler is back into it now and he pounds away at Punk like there’s no tomorrow. The regular referee is back up now. Here comes the Zig Zag but Punk catches it into a slingshot. GTS hits but Ace comes in and….counts the pin along with the regular referee so that Punk wins at 14:42.

Rating: B. Not a classic or anything but it was by far the best match of the night and a great breath of air to this horrible show. Punk and Ziggler are just great together and in the match, everything made perfect sense. Ace didn’t see who hit him and that it was an accident so he was justifiably mad. He spent a lot of time with the referee but there never was any actual cheating.

Ace hands the referee the belt so Punk can take it. He applauds Punk as well.

Ad for WWE on Youtube which will have 9 original shows apparently. It debuts Wednesday.

Rumble by the Numbers promo.

Royal Rumble

Miz is #1 and he has the AWESOME white balloons to go through. Elimination Chamber is in three weeks. My goodness. Alex Riley is second in a nice twist. Miz takes him down in the corner and Booker is talking about royal jelly. Riley throws him to the apron but Miz lands on the apron. Riley charges like an idiot and is out before #3 comes in. Third is R-Truth and I’m so glad they’re not calling this random anymore. It would just be laughable.

Truth puts him on the apron as well but Miz gets back in. The Finale is escapes but the Little Jimmy is avoided. Truth tries….something that I think was suppsed to be a forward suplex but turned into a powerslam. Miz is thrown to the apron and Cody is #4. Cody hits a quick Beautiful Disaster and then teams up with Miz to work on Truth. Cody takes awhile working on Truth and is thrown to the apron but he hangs on.

Miz takes Truth down with a neckbreaker and Cody gets back in. #5 is Justin Gabriel and he goes up top to take the heels out with a cross body. Flying shoulder takers Miz down and a Blue Thunder Bomb does the same to Cody. The clock seems to be going very quickly. Miz is put down again by a spinwheel kick but Cody gets in a shot to slow Gabriel down. The feuds pair off with Justin and Cody trading chops.

Primo is #6 and unfortunately there’s no Rosa. He actually cleans house with clotheslines and martial arts. He takes all four guys down and never gets hit at all. A NICE headscissors puts Justin down and Cody misses Beautiful Disaster to Truth. The spinning forearm takes Cody down but Miz throws Truth out. Truth pulls Miz out and hits a Little Jimmy on the floor, but Miz went under the ropes so he’s not eliminated.

In at #7 is MICK FOLEY! He, ahem, “runs” to the ring and takes Primo down quickly. Officially there are 5 people in at the moment but Miz is on the floor. Primo charges and gets backdropped out and is eliminated by Mick. Cody jumps Foley as Justin takes a breather. There’s a Bang Bang knee in the corner. Double Arm DDT takes Cody down and Justin helps with the elimination attempt.

Alberto Del…..and never mind it’s Ricardo at #8. In a hilarious bit, he comes out in a rusted out 80s car with a Hefty bag covering a busted out window. He’s in the scarf and tights also. This is GREAT. Justin and Foley are stunned. There’s a Ricardo chant. He runs around for awhile and actually puts Justin out as Foley stands there. Santino is #9 as we’re in the comedy portion of the Rumble. Cody is still down in the corner and Miz is on the mat.

Ricardo comes right at Santino but runs from the Cobra being teased. Santino beats up Ricardo for a bit, gives him a wedgie, and tosses him. Foley and Santino are the only ones left and I kid you not: it’s Socko vs. the Cobra. They circle each other with their hand puppets on and this is hilarious. Epico is in at #10. Cobra, Socko, bye bye. The Cobra and Sock collide and it’s hilarious still.

Miz gets back in to fight Foley as Cody tosses Santino. Socko to Miz but Cody comes from behind to toss him. Miz and Cody are the only ones in now but Kofi comes in at #11 to keep them from fighting. Kofi does the running dive through the ropes into a clothesline to take Cody down. He speeds things way up and hits a springboard double clothesline and a double Boom Drop. Miz is thrown to the apron but Cody makes the save.

A dropkick from Cody puts Kofi down and the clock is already ticking again. In at #12 is….JERRY LAWLER!!! That was a nice surprise and he ducks a right hand from Miz. Both heels go down from right hands and dropkicks. A slam puts Miz down and Lawler drops the strap and hits the middle rope punch, but Cody puts him out with little effort. Still though that was a cool surprise.

It’s Kofi, Cody, Miz and now Big Zeke Jackson with new tights at #13. King is back on commentary and at least he lasted longer than he did in 1997 I believe. Zeke pounds on everyone but doesn’t try to eliminate anyone until Jinder Mahal comes in to bore us #14. Cole tries to make us care by talking about the color of his head wrap which isn’t a turban apparently. He takes forever to get in so Zeke beats on everyone for awhile. The fans chant USA, so I guess they don’t like Zeke and Kofi and are supporting Cody and Miz?

We hit the halfway point as Great Khali is #15. Jinder is a little nervous. I forgot he existed so I guess the Hall of Pain was effective. Khali chops everyone and Jinder is easily tossed after trying to fight back. Jackson goes after Khali but takes a chop of his own. A clothesline puts Jackson out. It’s Miz, Rhodes, Kingston and Khali in at the moment and we’ve had 11 eliminations and 15 entrants.

Cody is dropped onto the apron by Kofi. Here’s #16 in the form of Hunico on a tricked out lowrider bike. Camacho is with him but leaves. A nice spinning springboard cross body takes Kofi down and things speed up. He hits his modified Angle Slam on Cody but is quickly chopped down. We’re about 24 minutes in and already at #17, which is BOOKER T! Sorry but you have to shout when any old person is in these things. Internet policy don’t you know.

Booker hammers on everyone but Khali stares him down. Booker goes at him and is chopped down quickly. The ring is at its fullest so far I believe with six guys in it. Khali chops Rhodes in the corner and Miz throws Kofi to the apron. He skins the cat but Miz kicks him down. Kofi lands in a handstand and WALKS BACKWARDS ON HIS HANDS TO GET TO THE STEPS! That was INCREDIBLE!!!

Dolph Ziggler is in at #18 and goes after the guy that has easily just trumped the wall climb by Morrison. Not much happens until Jim Duggan is #19, getting one of the best reactions of the night. There are seven or eight in there at the moment: Duggan, Khali, Hunico, Rhodes, Miz, Kingston, Booker and Ziggler. So it’s 8 and we’ve had 19 entrants and 11 eliminations. Duggan gets in some shots but Rhodes puts him out with a clothesline to the back.

Khali, Ziggler and Cody team up to put out Booker but Khali goes out instead. #20 is….Michael Cole. There’s your gimmick for the Rumble. And he has the wrestling gear on. How does the screening process for these entrants go? We keep the camera on him for far too long as we now have Cole, Miz, Kofi, Cody, Hunico and Ziggler in now. Cody tries to put Ziggler out as Cole dances around. If JR is in this thing I’ll need a stiff drink. #21 is…..Kharma! Wow she’s back early but they’ve been playing up the whole only two women ever thing.

She goes right after Cole and runs him over so hard the headgear comes off. Cole jumps over the top rope to the apron as Booker and Lawler jump up to eliminate him. Ziggler goes after Kharma who plants her with the Implant Buster. She throws Hunico WAY up and out. Ziggler dumps her but that was awesome. Ok so we now have Ziggler, Cody, Miz and Kofi in there. Good to see the young guys getting their chance.

#22 is Sheamus and the place goes nuts. He’s in red now. House is cleaned with everyone but Kofi getting hit. Powerslam to Ziggler and one for Miz as well. He goes after Kofi as well as Cole gives us stats on the announcers. Sheamus dumps Kofi to get us down to three in the ring at the moment. There are the ten forearms to Cody and ten for Miz as well. #23 is the Road Dogg to very little reaction.

He hammers on everyone in sight and hits the three punches and dance. There’s the Shake Rattling Kneedrop which has a name that I don’t remember. Pumphandle slam takes Miz down and the fans chant You Still Got It. Jey Uso is #24 but Jimmy is in street clothes so it’ll just be one. He superkicks Miz as Vickie screams. The Umaga running hip shot hits Roadie and Ziggler is draped on the ropes. It’s Miz, Sheamus, Jey Uso, Road Dogg, Ziggler and Cody at the moment. We’ve had 18 eliminated and 24 entrants so far.

#25 is Jack Swagger. He and Ziggler hook up and it’s Barrett at #26 with new music. Barrett dumps Road Dogg and gets in a fight with Sheamus. #27, the lucky number, is David Otunga. Well so much for it being lucky this year. He takes forever to get to the ring as we have I think 8 people in there right now. Otunga legitimately won a case in court earlier this week so at least he has something to fall back on.

The ring is pretty full here as we wait on Orton to clear them out. There’s him, Jericho and one other spot that I can’t think of to go. There are eight in at the moment but I’ll wait until #30 gets in to recap them. #28 is Orton and the place goes banana. Orton runs people over and hits a Thesz Press on Barrett. He cleans house but Rhodes jumps him. Orton puts him in Elevated DDT position but has to fight Ziggler off. We get a double DDT instead. Ok then.

Orton tosses Uso then RKOs Barrett to toss him out. #29 is Chris Jericho so who’s #30. This could be very interesting. Jericho goes after everyone and tosses Otunga. We have Swagger, Sheamus, Jericho, Ziggler, Orton, Rhodes and Miz. Here’s #30 and it’s……Big Show. Well that’s kind of a letdown but it’s a good place for a giant. Sheamus throws Swagger out as Show gets in.

The final group: Orton, Sheamus, Jericho, Miz, Cody, Ziggler and Big Show. He puts out Miz and Cody on his own to get us down to five. There goes Ziggler to get us down to the final four. There’s plenty of time left as it’s only 10:37 and the show has been going on a little over 45 minutes. Everyone takes a corner and they all go after Big Show. He throws them off with ease but an RKO puts him down. Orton tosses Show by himself and Jericho tosses Orton.

It’s Sheamus vs. Jericho and they circle each other before going at it. This is kind of a surprising final pairing even though they were some of the early favorites. Jericho is in long tights too. Booker thinks Sheamus winning the Rumble would do something for his career. You can’t buy analysis like this people. Missile dropkick puts Sheamus down. Irish Curse looks to set up the Celtic Cross but Jericho escapes and puts Sheamus on the apron. Jericho kicks him down but Sheamus hooks the rope with his leg. He hits the slingshot to get back in and we keep going.

Sheamus puts Jericho into the apron but the Brogue Kick misses. Jericho gets back in and hooks the Walls of Jericho which Lawler questions the use of but it wore Sheamus down I guess. Jericho sets for a clothesline but Sheamus backdrops him to the apron. Chris hangs on and they go to the corner. Jericho has still gone over the top remember. Sheamus is knocked off and crotched so they’re both on the apron after having gone over the top. And they’re both back in so we continue. This final part has been good so far.

Codebreaker takes Sheamus down and Jericho tries to choke Sheamus over the top. For some reason he slaps Sheamus which is just freaking stupid. Jericho tries to fight back but the Codebreaker is countered and Sheamus sits him on the ropes. Jericho hangs on but Sheamus Brogue Kicks him down and wins the Rumble at 54:48.

Rating: B+. Very good Rumble with a great variety of comedy and wrestling to make it work. It felt somewhat formula based at times but everything in WWE does anymore. It was fun though and it seems that they’re pushing someone new (kind of) for a change which is the best you can ask for in these things.

Overall Rating: B-. Well the final two matches saved it but the first hour of so of this was AWFUL. That being said, the whole point of the show is the Rumble and that was great so I can’t complain about the overall show all that much. A good Rumble can save a show, and it plus the Raw Title match did here. Good show, but only because they have a nearly hour long match to cover up the first hour being awful.

Results
Daniel Bryan b. Mark Henry and Big Show – Bryan escaped the cage
Beth Phoenix/Bella Twins/Natalya b. Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox/Tamina/Eve Torres – Glam Slam to Kelly
John Cena vs. Kane went to a double countout
Brodus Clay b. Drew McIntyre – What The Funk
CM Punk b. Dolph Ziggler – GTS
Sheamus won the Royal Rumble last eliminating Chris Jericho

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