Date: March 22, 2011
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: William Regal, Todd Grisham
Ok so it’s week three now and there is nothing to say at all. I mean really there’s nothing to talk about regarding this show that I haven’t said already. The guys aren’t interesting, the wrestling is just ok and the challenges are exactly the same thing we’ve seen every season so far. I have no idea what else to say here so let’s get to it.
One quick note: my feed kept cutting out during this show so if I missed anything I apologize.
The show opens with the usual introduction of the rookies. Wild and Young is a nice add-on here. Regal likes Young the best out of the guys in this season. We go over the Redemption points standings which Maryse gets wrong. The first challenge is a battle of the mics….and there goes my feed. Apparently this is about insulting the other people. Ah there it is. It’s a tournament style thing apparently.
First up is Saxton vs. Novak. Novak tries to rap and makes fun of Columbus. This is awful. Saxton says nothing of note as he makes fun of Cannon’s robe and wins by default here more or less.
Up next is O’Brian vs. O’Neil. O’Brian makes fun of the MAKE IT A WIN thing. O’Neil makes fun of O’Brian’s nose and it’s just awful. O’Neil somehow wins due to Horny. I give up.
Young vs. Cannon now. Young makes fun of the robe and says forget about Maryse. Cannon makes fun of the Ohio State Buckeyes (College basketball team that is on a roll at the moment) for no apparent reason as it’s going to get him eliminated. I guess he’s just not that smart. Young of course wins although Regal makes an interesting point, saying that it was a win for Cannon because the people actually responded.
So it’s a three way of talking between Saxton, Young and O’Neil. Saxton rambles about O’Neil and dogs and then makes fun of Young’s hair. O’Neil basically does a commercial for Gillette and I have no idea why this man is on my computer screen as he’s an idiot. Young says that O’Neil is old and that he looks better than Saxton. This was AWFUL. I kid you not, the crowd boos all three guys so they do it again to see who gets booed the least with Young winning.
We recap the previous two weeks for no apparent reason.
Darren Young vs. Titus O’Neil
O’Neil has purple tights and gold boots plus a leprechaun in the corner. Could this guy be a bigger joke? Young is so far ahead of O’Neil it’s unreal and yet he’s nothing worth talking about at all. We hit the chinlock quickly as the fans are into O’Neil only due to Horny. Backbreaker by O’Neil gets two. They go to the corner for a bit and Chavo helps. Naturally Horny goes after Chavo and Titus hits a powerbomb to end it at 3:00.
Rating: D-. Since there won’t be much to grade here due to a lack of wrestling on this show, I’ll throw this out for you. These two aren’t any good in the ring although Young is watchable I guess. See, that’s not a good sign when the clearly best guy on the show is only watchable. Terrible match and I couldn’t wait for it to be over, which isn’t good at all.
We see the Taker/HHH video from last night which is only cool for the legends in there. I am not feeling this match in the slightest.
Cannon hits on Maryse and gets slapped. Yoshi laughs and gets slapped. Cannon laughs at Yoshi and gets punched. Riveting.
Video on Lucky Cannon talks about how different he is. He doesn’t want to hear about Season 2 anymore so let’s talk about him more. It’s all about him and he’s, blast it all, winning. Can we get Charlie Sheen drawn and quartered please?
Vladimir Kozlov/Conor O’Brian vs. JTG/Jacob Novak
And Striker makes it a dance off. Regal says he’s a heck of a dancer. I think we’ve seen that before and it was awesome if I remember it right. Regal is cracking me up with him ripping into JTG and says that his only talent is stealing. Apparently his sister in law is a great shoplifter and whatever Todd wants from her can be here next week. Vlad and O’Brian destroy them of course and this is a squash. Somehow they were synchronized on this if you can believe that.
We get the ending of Raw last night with the new belt and Cena actually being there. I’ll give them credit for the Cena thing as not only was it surprising but it kept things from being hypocritical on his part.
Byron Saxton vs. Lucky Cannon
And this is your main event people. I want this show to die. They slug it out in the corner to start with Cannon in control. Saxton fires off some shoulders but Kidd distracts him to allow Cannon to get a big boot to take over. Neckbreaker gets two for Lucky. There’s a chinlock with the knee in the back as JTG tells Horny how to take notes apparently.
A second neckbreaker is blocked and Saxton takes him down. My screen keeps freezing so I’m not sure on a lot of the moves. I also know that it doesn’t mean a thing at all here. Kidd is at least coaching here. Saxton hits the post and it’s that reverse DVD/FU that Cannon used before to end this at 3:30.
Rating: F+. Was there any point to this? It was two guys in there doing moves on each other and that’s it. I mean there was no point to it, there was nothing of note, there was just three and a half minutes of nothing here. What a great allegory or visualization of this entire show.
Cannon beats up Yoshi post match to end the show.
Overall Rating: F. Like I said at the beginning of this show, I’ve got nothing. I mean there is nothing at all to talk about on this show. There’s nothing of interest in the entire show and there’s nothing at all to say about it. I almost dread watching this show anymore which is saying a lot as I’ve watched wrestling for nearly the entire 23 years that I’ve been alive and love it very much. I enjoyed 2000 Thunder for crying out loud. Terribly dull show indeed.
Titus O’Neil b. Darren Young – Powerbomb
Vladimir Kozlov/Conor O’Brian b. JTG/Jacob Novak in a dance off
Lucky Cannon b. Byron Saxton – Fireman’s carry into a mat slam