Date: May 17, 2011
Location: American Bank Center Arena Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal
FINALLY, it’s the 11th week of the show and it’s time for the first elimination in this series. This isn’t an interesting show in the slightest and it’s not helping at all that the guys out there are rather boring indeed. Hopefully O’Brian goes home tonight, which likely means it’ll be him vs. Novak in the final two because they’re the most bland out of all these guys. If you don’t believe that that’s what it takes to win here, just ask Johnny Curtis. Let’s get to it.
Naturally we open with a recap of the season and a voiceover saying it ends here for someone. They’re still wild and young apparently.
Darren Young vs. Titus O’Neil
No Horny still so Titus shouts WHERE IS HE. Young knows apparently but he’s being a meanie and won’t tell. No Chavo either. Did anyone check under the ring? Young takes him down as he takes advantage of the big man’s emotions. Titus takes over with power but takes a boot to the face after a two count. Titus takes over again and we cut to the back with Chavo pounding on a box with chains on it, saying Horny is inside and needs help getting out. He goes to get tools and Titus runs to the back to help and it’s a count out at 3:15. Barely a match so no rating as about 30 seconds was footage from the back.
Titus gets Horny out, apparently knowing the back of the arena that well. Chavo jumps him with a weapon of some kind and pulls Horny off by the beard. Chavo shouts about remembering what Horny did to him and we go back to the arena where Young is still in the ring. Young holds him down and Horny takes a Frog Splash. Titus runs out for the save.
That’s What I Am ad. You know, before the anti-bullying organization they started I kind of wanted to see it. Now I want to hang a kid from a flag pole and berate him until he loses all conscious thought while taking his lunch money.
Horny has been taken to the hospital and Titus went with him. That’s devotion to a leprechaun if I’ve ever seen it.
Package on Cena vs. Miz at the PPV. This, as usual, takes far too much time.
Yoshi Tatsu vs. Byron Saxton
I love how Yoshi is just listed as being from Japan. Not a city, not a part of it, just Japan. They go to the corner to start as Regal won’t say who he thinks is going home but there’s an implication that it’s Novak. They chop it out and Tatsu is all ticked off. Arm drags commence and there’s the armbar by Yoshi. Shining Wizard misses and here comes Saxton as the crowd goes silent. Tatsu fights back with ease and fires off some kicks for two. Yoshi goes up top and a spinwheel kick ends this clean at 3:30. It’s as abrupt as it sounds.
Rating: D. About 10 months ago I saw Tatsu vs. Jericho in a match taped for Superstars. It was an awesome ten minute plus match where Tatsu had me almost believing he could pull off the upset. This was absolutely nothing like that. Tatsu is more or less worthless here as are all Pros not named Chavo. Terribly dull match that solved or helped nothing in the slightest.
Striker brings out Maryse who looks great in a blue dress. She and her awesome boobs bring out Kozlov and O’Brian to talk about their bet with JTG and Novak. Here are Novak and JTG appropriately enough. Regal blasts both guys the entire time which is kind of amusing. This is the finale of the bet which is which pro can make their rookie the most like their pro. The audience is the judge as always. Novak declares the crowd haters and bashes Regal a bit. Novak raps a bit while JTG runs his mouth a lot. For this bet it’s 6:30 because they’ve won hands down. Regal’s reaction to this is priceless.
Vlad and O’Brian do some mostly synchronized dancing and some sambo/martial arts stuff. Boards are broken. Now what did those boards ever do to them? Someone get the arbor foundation or whatever tree lovers are called! Usually I would say this is as dumb as it sounds, but it’s actually dumber. Naturally the dancing men that make Bruce Lee turn over and cover his eyes in his grave win. JTG tries to jump Vlad and dang it we’re getting a match.
JTG vs. Vladimir Kozlov
This is joined in progress with JTG slapping Vlad, only to get suplexed as Vlad gets his Magnum TA on. Well at least it’s not a tag match so we don’t have to watch the rookies fight. JTG gets sent to the floor and yells at Regal, only to get taken back to the ring by Vlad. Now Kozlov is sent to the floor as Regal talks about being in charge of the Ruthless (formerly Regal) Roundtable. JTG takes over and sits on the arm as he hammers away. That’s rather smart actually and not something you often see a guy do.
Modified X-Factor out of the corner by JTG which is called a Mug Shot. Why is it that a majority of black wrestlers all have the character of thugs, jocks or savages? Not saying they’ve done anything wrong mind you, but rather that they’re stereotyped so badly it’s unreal. Vlad makes his comeback but gets caught in a neckbreaker to take him down. A headbutt to the chest as JTG comes off the middle rope takes him down and a modified spinebuster ends JTG at 5:20.
Rating: D+. Just a match here which meant nothing for the most part. Hopefully this is going to end the whole bet story and we can get rid of one of these guys. Also, was there a point to this being on a show about the rookies? It’s like parents fighting at a Little League game. On the other hand it kept Novak and O’Brian out of the ring so how much can I complain?
Yoshi comes up to Maryse in the back and she talks about the stuff Cannon got her. Yoshi breaks up with her and Maryse is like whatever. Cannon pops up and promises her a shopping spree in this rather pointless segment.
Jacob Novak is gone first. THANK GOODNESS! Now get O’Brian out and this show is downright watchable. He says the usual “I’ll be back” thing. JTG rants to the fans as well.
Darren Young b. Titus O’Neil via countout
Yoshi Tatsu b. Byron Saxton – Spinwheel kick from the top rope
Vladimir Kozlov b. JTG – Spinebuster
Jacob Novak was eliminated in 6th place