Impact Wrestling – July 21, 2011 – Four Knockout Brawls? Seriously?

Impact Wrestling
Date: July 21, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Sting is world champion again and it’s time to begin the road to Hardcore Justice and his match with Angle. It seems that they’re going to build towards the main event on the idea that Angle has never beaten Sting which isn’t true but it was long enough ago that I doubt many people remember it. Anyway, there’s also a BFG Series four way ladder match tonight so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week with the clowns and Sting winning the title thanks to Angle.

Here’s the new champ to open the show. He says hi to his mom and says that he’s back on track now, much to the chagrin of Hogan and Bischoff. He’s still insane here. Game on apparently. Sting says this is supposed to be the part of the promo where he’s supposed to talk about how we can do this the easy way or the hard way but he stops and says it’ll just be his way.

Sting says he’s insane and there’s a good feeling about it. The insane asylum is open now. He wants Hogan and Bischoff to come out and here’s a clown instead. It’s Angle and he takes off the mask to prove it. He gets in the ring and says he respects Sting because Sting is the champion. Even though Sting is trying to get the company back in the hands of Dixie Carter, Sting has what Angle wants.

Angle says that both of them are legends but only one can be champion. It has to be him because he’s given himself no other choice. Sting says that they have a dilemma here but Immortal, in the form of Anderson and Ray, cut them off. Ray mentions the obvious tag match and talks about using a bat on the ribs of Angle, like Angle did last week. Ray works hard on his abs and didn’t like a bat going into them. Anderson says he didn’t work so hard to get it all taken away from him like that. Sting has to deal with him tonight.

Bound For Glory standings:

Crimson 31

Gunner 21

D-Von 21

Matt Morgan 14

AJ Styles 14

James Storm 14

Rob Van Dam 14

Bully Ray 14

Scott Steiner 7

Bobby Roode 7

The Pope 0

Samoa Joe 0

Bound For Glory Series: Scott Steiner vs. Rob Van Dam

Steiner jumps him almost immediately and hits the overhead belly to belly to take over. Rob can’t get anything going and we hit a bow and arrow hold. Steiner looks like he has a new tattoo that looks like a chain around his neck. Rob gets out of the corner and this a nice superkick to put Scott down for a second. Out to the floor and RVD gets the spinning leg drop which needs a name.

Back inside and Steiner wants time out. Rob instead hits him in the face. Steiner gets a boot up in the corner and hits the spinning belly to belly. Now Rob gets a foot in Scott’s face to set up Rolling Thunder for two. Into the corner they go and Scott gets an elevated Downward Spiral for two as Rob gets his foot on the rope. Steiner Line sets up the pushups which the referee goes up and down with for some reason. Steiner yells at him for it and Rob rolls him up for the pin at 6:05.

Rating: C. Just a match here for the most part. Power vs. speed is my favorite match variety so this worked fine. Scott can be a decent bully when he wants to be. Van Dam does little more than signature moves anymore which is a bit of a problem but that comes with age I guess. Either way, nothing great but fine for what it was.

Mickie is here and wants to talk to Velvet. Here she is completely with the shaking entrance. Mickie talks about how she’s seen people going after Velvet and blame her for all kinds of stuff. That’s why Mickie is honored to give Velvet her first title shot tonight. They hug and here are Winter and Angelina. Love says that this is about competition so Velvet and Mickie should just go get a hotel room.

She finally has gotten what Winter has been trying to tell her: she’s a five time Women’s Champion and yet no one gives her the respect she deserves. This is old school Angelina here. She’ll get the title back no matter who wins tonight. Winter says she’ll win at Hardcore Justice and the title will be theirs. Night is about to fall according to the seasonal one.

Sarita and Rosita jump Tessmacher and Tara on their way to the ring. They have a tag match later.

Back and the beating is still going on. As least take the skirt off Tessmacher! Madison jumps in and it’s a big beatdown. Sarita has a face guard on which we’ll get the story on later.

We get comments from all four people in the ladder match tonight. Joe says he’s the best and he’s taking the opportunity he’s been given. Morgan says he doesn’t care who’s in there with him, he’s getting the ten points. Gunner says he’s destined to be a world champion. AJ says he’ll win because he’s Bound For Glory. Daniels comes in to talk to AJ and says not in front of the camera. The camera stays anyway and AJ isn’t happy with what Daniels says, then slams the door on the camera.

We get a video “shot on a cell phone” of a brawl last week between the same chicks where Sarita got her face hurt.

Knockouts Tag Titles: Sarita/Rosita vs. Miss Tessmacher/Tara

Tara and Tessmacher wait for the champs to come through the curtain to jump them. After a beating in the aisle there’s the bell. A double team sends Tara to the floor and Tessmacher hits a double clothesline. Hey, since there are four hot chicks in the ring, let’s show the old Spanish announce team! Tessmacher gets beaten down as we start the actual match here. There’s the required USA chant as Tessmacher takes Rosita down. Just not down enough for a tag.

Everything breaks down quickly as Hebner puts Tara out. More double teaming gets two on Tessmacher. Tara comes in again and throws Tessmacher to their own corner to guarantee a hot tag. Tara cleans house with some awkward looking punches. Widow’s Peak is set up forever but doesn’t hit Sarita because Madison runs in to break it up. Sarita rolls Tara up but only gets two. Tessmacher is thrown into Sarita and actually manages a Stratusfaction bulldog. Tara hits a chokebomb and Tessmacher gets a small package for stereo pins at 4:43 to give us new champs.

Rating: C-. Not like the title mean anything but having Tessmacher and Tara hug each other a lot is never a bad thing. Does anyone ever successfully defend the tag titles anymore? Either way, this was a bit better than most of their matches and it helps that Tessmacher has an actual finishing move now rather than the amplified Stinkface.

Bound For Glory Series: Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles vs. Matt Morgan vs. Gunner

This is a ladder match and good for ten points. Gunner and AJ start on the floor. Morgan is in all white and here comes the ladder. Joe hits a baseball slide to take out Gunner and AJ. Now Morgan and Joe are fighting over the ladder so Gunner takes it in the face instead. AJ gets up to a huge pop and slams the ladder into I think Morgan’s hand. Morgan grabs a chokeslam but AJ backflips out of it.

Pele puts Morgan down in the corner but Gunner gets back in with a slingshot suplex to Styles. AJ sends him to the floor as the ladder hasn’t been unfolded yet. Morgan in control again and he throws AJ into the ladder. AJ walks up the ladder but jumps into a fallaway slam. Joe hits a senton backsplash and sets up the ladder. Gunner is back in to break it up though as the pacing in this is fast so far. Joe hits the ropes and dives onto Morgan.

Gunner goes up the ladder but AJ springboards onto said ladder and the slugout is on. Gunner goes down and Joe makes the save. Pele takes Joe down and AJ sets the ladder again. Gunner clears the ring again. Carbon Footprint kills Gunner dead though and Morgan wins at 5:00. Shortest ladder match ever perhaps?

Rating: B-. The length is what holds this back because the speed and pacing were great. Pretty fun little match overall but I hope it doesn’t turn into a bunch of gimmick matches added onto the Series to make it more exciting. It defeats the purpose of the gimmicks entirely, but having one every now and then is ok.

Eric Young is in some story trying to defend the TV Title. He wants to defend against C Lo Green but it’s D’Lo Brown. Brown says this is stupid and tries to leave. Young rolls him up and runs. Brown says Young better recognize.

X-Division Title: Brian Kendrick vs. Alex Shelley

They shake hands pre match. Kendrick misses a dropkick to start and Shelly rolls him up very quickly for two. Shelley keeps using weird rollup combinations which are kind of cool. They speed things up and Kendrick tries Sliced Bread #2 which they both use as their finisher. Neither can hit it so Shelley works on the ribs a bit. Surfboard goes on but it’s not the awesome lifting version.

Dive by Kendrick is blocked by a kick that might have connected but I’m not sure. Top rope cross body only gets two but he gets it three times. Only in wrestling is 2+2+2 not more than three. Shelley hammers off some forearms but Kendrick gets one of his own and a leg lariat to send Alex to the floor. The dive hits this time and Shelley is in trouble. Back in the ring a top rope splash misses and Shelley hits Sliced Bread on the apron. Both guys are down on the floor now. Shelley throws him back in but Austin Aries pops up and hits Shelley in the head with the X Title and Kendrick pins him at 5:30. Don’t think Kendrick saw it.

Rating: B-. Fun match while it lasted but again, GIVE A MATCH MORE THAN SIX MINUTES! These two were having a good match and I was getting into it but oh snap they’ve gone five whole minutes so it’s time to wrap things up! Unless your name is Sting, you’re not getting that much time and it’s getting old. Still though, fun while it lasted.

Kendrick isn’t happy with the interference by Aries.

Mexican America complains because that’s what they do. Here’s Beer Money for the staredown before Hardcore Justice. Storm says shut up and go cut his grass. Storm hypes up Roode as being awesome and says he (Storm) is a country boy (said in a bit more elaborate way). Beer Money is better and they’re going to beat the Mexicans for the people and for the Mexican legends. Storm says go mark your calendars because at the PPV, Beer Money is shutting them up. Roode says sorry about your luck to end this. Really liked this as it made me want to see them fight, which is the entire point of promos.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Velvet Sky

Winter and Angelina come out and jump Mickie before the match. Velvet comes out to help and it’s more like a tag match than a regular one. The nice girls beat down the evil ones but ODB and Jackie come through the crowd to beat down Mickie and Velvet. Dang it NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU. Traci Brooks of all people comes out for the save. It’s a big brawl and no match actually happens. The fans say let them fight and ODB loses a shoe somehow. ODB and Jackie beat up various men and that’s about it. Oh and cops take them away in cuffs.

Traci doesn’t like Jackie and ODB.

Bully Ray/Mr. Anderson vs. Sting/Kurt Angle

Ray cuts off Anderson’s entrance because it’s what the fans want to hear. Anderson does it anyway. We get big match intros to make sure that they don’t have enough time for a lot of wrestling here. Ray jumps Sting from behind to start and knocks him into Angle who goes to the floor. Off to Anderson who hammers away on Clown Boy. Sting plays Ricky Morton for awhile with Anderson going after his knees. Ray misses the backsplash of course and Sting brings in Kurt as Anderson is tagged also. House is cleaned and a Stinger Splash and Angle Slam end Anderson at 4:00. Well that was quick.

Rating: C-. It’s a main event tag match and in that regard it was fine, but dude, FOUR MINUTES for the main event? Is this 1997 all of a sudden? I know it’s just a quick thing to advance Sting vs. Angle and give them time together out there, but maybe they should have cut some of the other repetitive stuff from earlier so this could have had more time. Nothing to see here for the most part.

Sting asks Angle if he’s gone too far and leaves Angle in the ring to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. I liked this one far more than I’ve liked most shows they’ve put on recently. It’s not perfect and is pretty far from it, but there’s definitely a structure there that makes this work. No Hogan and Bischoff helped this I think as they should be more of a feature attraction. There are definite holes in the show (FOUR Knockout brawls for instance) but they’re miles ahead of what they were doing a few weeks and months ago.

Results

Rob Van Dam b. Scott Steiner – Rollup

Miss Tessmacher/Tara b. Sarita/Rosita – Chokebomb to Sarita

Matt Morgan b. AJ Styles, Samoa Joe and Gunner – Morgan grabbed the contract

Brian Kendrick b. Alex Shelley – Kendrick pinned Shelly after Austin Aries hit Shelley with the belt

Kurt Angle/Sting b. Mr. Anderson/Bully Ray – Angle Slam to Anderson

4 comments

  1. John. says:

    My guess to why matches are only 6 mins or less is because they don’t want matches to have ads cutting half way through maybe some trick to not lose viewers.

    [Reply]

  2. the real wrestling god says:

    Weak show this week. It baffles me that Tna can’t have a match last more than 6 minutes.

    [Reply]

  3. the real wrestling god says:

    KB why do you review nxt but not superstars? Superstars usually features really good matches.

    [Reply]

    klunderbunker Reply:

    Somebody has to review NXT.

    [Reply]

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