Monday Night Raw – September 12, 2011 – HHH 1, Punk 0

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 12, 2011
Location: Scotiabank Place, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

It’s the go home show for Night of Champions and we still have no midcard title matches. The show should be interesting but I’m not wild on them giving us HHH vs. Punk already. Anyway tonight we’re in Canada or Bizarro Land as WWE likes to call it. According to Del Rio on a radio show Bret will be there and there’s nothing wrong with bringing him in for a Canada show. Let’s get to it.

Alberto is in the ring to open the show and he talks about not getting respect. He lists off some accomplishments such as retiring Edge, injuring Rey and beating Punk at Summerslam. He wants respect and here’s Bret. He talks about how you get respect and how Del Rio is all flash and talk. Bret is stumbling over lines and misspeaking. He’s got his glasses on so he might be a bit drunk. Del Rio says Breth is old and looks like an illegal Canadian that cleans his house.

Del Rio threatens him with violence and here’s Cena. Cena says he sees a Hall of Famer. He talks about how Del Rio has run from Cena for weeks now and says he should drive back to Mexico. Cena gets in a good line, listing off features of the cars (Cena being a known car guy) and saying Del Rio has no idea what he’s talking about. He says let’s fight right now and Del Rio agrees. Cena is STUNNED, but Del Rio means Cena vs. Ricardo Cena says the crowd noise makes him have ideas and the crowd actually cheers him. He suggests Alberto vs. Bret for the title tonight. Bret takes off the jacket and glasses and the fans erupt.

And never mind as Johnny Ace comes out and makes a tag match instead.

Alex Riley/John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger

Only Morrison gets the tail end of an entrance here. That’s a good way to save some time. Morrison and Ziggy start us off with Morrison taking over, hitting a huge Beautiful Disaster (yes I know that’s what Cody calls it but it’s the same move) and Ziggler sells it perfectly. Morrison misses a charge into the corner and his arm hits the post. Big elbow drop gets two for Dolph.

A double tag brings in Riley and Swagger with Riley hitting a worse than usual spinebuster. He clears house and hits an STO on Swagger for two. He needs to stick with the DDT and tries one on Swagger but is countered into the ankle lock. Riley rolls through it to send Swagger into Ziggler. A TKO ends Swagger at 2:50 with Ziggler not breaking up the pin despite there being no one to stop him. Ziggler yells at Vickie post match, calling Swagger a loser.

Miz and Truth take a walk with a mic and says just getting a tag match isn’t enough to calm them down. Miz does the talking and runs down the talking segment with HH and Punk later. Truth says he thinks HHH has made a good decision. Miz: “Really?” Truth: “Ninja please!” Miz: “What did you just say?” Truth: “I said Ninja WAZZAH please”. That was one of the funniest lines I’ve heard in a long time.

They come into the arena minus music (nice touch of realism) and Truth says HHH is COO. If you say that twice you get Cuckoo, and that’s what HHH is. The two of them should be in the main event of every PPV and they’ll prove it right now.

Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz

This is after a break. Kofi does his thing and speeds it up to start. They exchange leapfrogs and go to the floor in a heap. Bourne and Truth glare at each other as we take a break. Back with Miz holding a chinlock until he shifts to ram Kofi’s head into the mat for what looked like three but was called two. They seem off for some reason. Kofi hits a jumping double stomp and both guys are down.

This match is a mess and I can’t get into it at all. Kofi starts his comeback and misses the kick but Truth gets involved anyway. He trips Kofi a bit and Miz is able to hit the Finale (screw writing out the whole title even though it would have been shorter than this part I’m writing here) for the pin at 8:39 total.

Rating: D. I know this is probably low and I won’t defend it that much but dang man I couldn’t get into this. There was nothing here that made me want to watch the match and I was terribly bored by it. They were a step off the whole way through and it didn’t work for me. I could see some people liking it though.

Teddy tells Vickie that the tag match earlier will be a fatal fourway for the US Title Sunday and Vickie freaks. Kelly is allegedly looking at them so Vickie yells at her. Vickie says she could beat Kelly. You know the rest.

We get a clip of Lawler/Ryder beating Otunga/McGillicutty last week. Tonight it’s a rematch and Lawler has a mystery partner. They’re in the ring and run their mouths a bit about how awesome they are. Lawler says McGillicutty has nothing on his daddy and Otunga failed his charisma classes at Harvard. Here’s the partner.

Jerry Lawler/Sheamus vs. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty

Gee Lawler got over Sheamus kicking his head off in MSG a few years back. Lawler starts with Otunga but off to McMynameshouldbeJoeHennig quickly. If you can’t figure out what’s happening in this, too bad because I’m not feeling the review for it. Sheamus, Brogue Kick, Celtic Cross, McGillicutty, 2:30. The former champs were on offense about 20 seconds and I think you can fill in the blanks yourselves.

Ricardo is doing push-ups when Del Rio comes in to yell at him. He drinks….an aphrodisiac….and goes back to push-ups. Weird.

Bret Hart/John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio/Ricardo Rodriguez

Cena and Ricardo start us off and John plays matador with his shirt. I prefer Tito. The match is exactly what you would expect: Del Rio runs away while Cena destroys Ricardo. Del Rio comes in for a bit and doesn’t stay in long. Alberto finally leaves and after Cena leaves him laying, Bret hooks a Sharpshooter for the submission at 3:15. Total comedy match.

Rating: C. What were you expecting here? I won’t call this a failure because the point of this was to let the fans see their hero and see him put the Sharpshooter on someone for an easy submission. There’s not a thing wrong with that at all and that worked fine. However the lack of anything resembling a build for Cena vs. Del Rio has me not caring even more. Fine for what it was.

Video on 9/11 and Smackdown airing two days later. That was indeed cool. Cena is narrating this.

Kelly Kelly vs. Vickie Guerrero

Kelly embarrasses her for a bit and then Jack comes down after Dolph. They get into an argument and Kelly rolls up a distracted Vickie at 1:20.

This show has been….what’s the right word…..REALLY BORING.

Video on HHH. He’s back in the ring on Sunday. I never would have gotten that guys.

Mark Henry says he’ll be champion Sunday and he wants to be.

Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes

Cody pounds Randy down into the corner and that doesn’t go all that well for him. Henry comes out so Orton grabs a chair and starts walking up the ramp, making Henry leave. Rhodes tries to jump him and that doesn’t go well at all. Orton stomps him down in the corner and beats up Rhodes a bit. Henry comes back with a chair of his own and sits down on the stage.

Orton goes up after him but is unarmed as the chair he had was dropped between the ring and stage. He goes back to Rhodes instead and walks into a Beautiful Disaster off the apron as we take a break. Back with Rhodes holding a crossface chicken wing and working on the arm. There’s a fan in the crowd with an old school IC Belt. Henry moves the chair closer to the ring. Rhodes escapes the elevated DDT but Orton escapes CrossRhodes and hits the DDT anyway. It’s RKO time and Henry gets up and onto the steps, distracting Orton enough for a mask shot. CrossRhodes ends this at 10:24. Expect a rubber match Friday.

Rating: C. Not as good as Friday but not bad. Henry distracting Orton was good as he’s getting into his head and making him lose. Rhodes getting exposure like this is a good thing and the pin not being clean means nothing for the most part, at least to me. Not much here but for the main event this was ok, especially on a throwaway show like this one.

Henry hits him with a chair post match and yells a lot.

We get a quick recap of last week with HHH and Nash imploding.

Here are HHH and Punk for the final encounter. They talk about how Punk is held down because of the bodybuilder fetish and HHH retorts with Shawn Michaels, Mick Foley and someone else that I don’t remember. Punk says the company doesn’t listen to the fans which HHH disagrees with. Punk talks about the fans cheering for him at MSG and then nothing happened.

HHH runs down Punk’s resume and says those sound like opportunities to him. He’s got a great point there. HHH references the Cena story Punk told a few weeks ago and talks about Cena being the biggest star in this business by winning the fans over. He’s absolutely right. HHH talks about how it’s all about the fans and Punk cuts him off, saying they’re cheering for me. HHH gets in the reality though: where have those fans been the last six years?

HHH goes on a huge rant about how Punk has a different philosophy and he’s wrong. He goes on a better rant about how this is personal and not business because Punk made it personal. Punk says this is about change and this isn’t Punk talking to HHH. It’s Phil Brooks talking to Paul Levesque. The mic cuts out on Punk but then it comes on for HHH. It goes off again for Punk and Punk freaks.

HHH doesn’t get what’s going on and gets another mic. HHH hands it to Punk and it goes upside his head. Punk leaves him laying to end the show. The intensity from HHH was great here and he leaves Punk saying something like “well yeah I haven’t drawn ever and I was given a bunch of chances and I never really got them to work except this one but I’m still the best because I say so.”

Overall Rating: D. This was one of the least interesting Raws I’ve seen in years. There were long stretches where I was barely paying attention to the show. Point blank, that NEVER happens with me. I get that Monday Night Football is back but could they have something resembling effort? I have no idea who Cody is facing, I have zero desire to see Cena vs. Del Rio and Punk vs. HHH didn’t need more of a build. Bad show this week and in a boring way.

 

Results
Alex Riley/John Morrison b. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger – TKO to Swagger
The Miz b. Kofi Kingston – Skull Crushing Finale
Sheamus/Jerry Lawler b. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty – Celtic Cross to McGillicutty
John Cena/Bret Hart b. Ricardo Rodriguez/Alberto Del Rio – Sharpshooter to Rodriguez
Kelly Kelly b. Vickie Guerrero – Rollup
Cody Rhodes b. Randy Orton – CrossRhodes

2 comments

  1. Mr. Axe says:

    can a raw possibly get a lower grade than d?

    [Reply]

  2. Muffin Top Merkley says:

    THANK GOD!!!

    Selfishly, I wanted last night’s Raw to be lame (not really, but kinda) Not only did I have an opportunity to go to Raw, and not only did I have an opportunity to go backstage, I had the opportunity to be one of the paramedics. (The real paramedics, not ones on camera)

    Unfortunately, I got my invite to all of this too late and I couldn’t get anyone to cover my shift at work.

    [Reply]

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