Final Resolution 2007 – Christy Hemme Got More Time Than The World Title Match

Final Resolution 2007
Date: January 14, 2007
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

We finish this trio of TNA as well as 2007 with this. This is a double main event for the most part with Sting defending in a triple threat match against Christian and Abyss as well as an iron man match with Angle vs. Joe in what was supposed to be their final showdown, with the winner getting a title shot next month. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about those matches, with audio from Muhammad Ali. Appropriately enough, this is being written on his 70th birthday. The iron man match gets way more focus than the title match, and I don’t think Christian was even in this.

AJ Styles vs. Rhyno

Last man standing but you have to get a pin before the count starts. AJ keeps stealing wins over Rhyno so somehow that means last man standing. Rhyno starts off fast and hammers away. This might be the PPV debut of AJ’s long tights. Rhyno busts out a tope and AJ is reeling early. AJ does his drop down into the dropkick spot. The fans seem split here. Rhyno Hulks Up and beats AJ back again.

AJ pulls the tape off his wrist but as Hebner throws it out, Rhyno takes a low blow. A springboard splash gets a pin and an eight count. AJ pounds him down but a charge results in Rhyno picking him up and dropping him onto the top rope snake eyes style. Out to the floor and AJ hits a flip dive. Quickly back into the ring and AJ gets two. AJ is the heel here but he’s still more popular than Rhyno.

AJ comes off the ropes with a forearm but jumps into a spinebuster for the pin. It only gets about seven. They circle each other and slug it out. Rhyno takes over and loads up a superplex but walks into a sunset bomb for two. TKO gets two for Rhyno. It’s Table Time but Styles manages to crotch Rhyno on the edge of it. Back in the springboard forearm only gets two.

Powerbomb puts AJ down but Rhyno walks into a Pele to put him down. A Gore out of nowhere kills AJ but Rhyno doesn’t cover. Another Gore kills him even deader for the pin and the ten count. That second one looked SICK. AJ could have gotten up but sat down to avoid a third Gore.

Rating: C+. Not bad but the going back and forth came a little too fast. You would see them go down and then be up seconds later. Also they didn’t get particularly violent at all, which makes me question why they went with this as the opener. It was good but you would expect more when you hear the words last man standing.

Rhyno says he’ll take Styles out tonight and chases AJ to the back.

West and Tenay run down the card.

Rhyno and AJ pop up on the stage and Rhyno piledrives him. He loads up a table and sets it up in front of the entrance tunnel but AJ avoids the shot and Rhyno crashes through the table.

We recap the X Title match. Lynn is the old guard, Daniels is champion and Sabin is the young gun. Past, present and future. A lot of these soundbytes from Lynn are the same ones they used for his singles match with Sabin next month.

Jerry Lynn says he’s not old and he’ll teach both of them something tonight.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Jerry Lynn vs. Christopher Daniels

Daniels is champion here. I’ll give Lynn this: he does look good for a 43 year old man. Sabin gets beaten down by both guys so he hides on the ramp. Well as well as you can hide by being a pale professional wrestler in trunks hiding on a dark ramp. Back in and we get a triple crisscross. Ok that did look cool. Daniels takes over and knocks both of them down including knocking Sabin to the floor.

The champ puts a figure four headscissors onto Lynn on the middle rope, leaning out of the ring. Sabin uses the opening to kick his head off and takes over on Lynn. From what I understand, this is Lynn’s first match in TNA in about a year and a half. And someone he’s technically #1 contender to a title. Right. Anyway Daniels comes back in and goes Koji Clutch on Lynn but Sabin breaks it up.

Lynn gets sent to the floor as Sabin fires off some kicks to Daniels for two. He hooks a nerve hold on the champ and keeps Lynn on the floor once again. The fans say Lynn still has it despite him getting beaten up the whole time in this match so far. Daniels is put in the Tree of Woe and a hesitation dropkick gets two. All three back in now and the fans are way behind Jerry.

Speaking of Jerry he goes up and hits a foot into the chest of both guys. Headscissors all around and the fans are really into Lynn. He sets for the Cradle Piledriver but Daniels hits an Sto to stop him. Everyone is down again and Lynn goes after Sabin. Lynn sets for a bulldog off the middle rope but Daniels runs up and we get a low level Tower of Doom. BME gets two on Sabin. Sitout powerbomb gets the same for Lynn. Lynn and Daniels go at it and Lynn hits an inverted Emerald Flowsion for two. Cradle Piledriver puts Daniels down but Sabin grabs a rollup and tights on Lynn to win the title.

Rating: B-. I usually don’t like triple threats but this one worked very well for me. All three guys were moving out there and Daniels was doing enough other stuff to keep him from getting on my nerves. They flew around enough and the ending was hot enough to make it work and I liked this match a good deal.

Kevin Nash says that he’s looking forward to the PCS Finals and Bob Backlund, who had been referenced for months, debuts as the head judge for the contest. Nash talks about going up and down the road with Backlund and Backlund has no idea what he’s talking about. You can hear David Penzer in the background giving the crowd NFL scores. Backlund asks if the finalists have been tortured well enough. Nash talks about playing musical chairs with them and Backlund isn’t sure what to make of it. Nash leaves and Young pops up, talks about going shopping with JB, and says he voted for Backlund in 1995.

We recap the Paparazzi Championship Series. Basically it was NXT before NXT existed, with five lower midcard guys competing in things like limbo, pogo sticking, high card draw and so on. This was run by Kevin Nash who cracked jokes the entire time. Bob Backlund was mentioned about every five minutes. For the life of me, this might be the most out there storyline I’ve ever seen in TNA. Apparently it was to bring out the characters of the X-Division. Makes as much sense as anything else.

Paparazzi Championship Series Finals: Alex Shelley vs. Austin Starr

It’s a ten minute time limit and if there’s no winner in that time, we go to the judges. The judges are Samolian Joe (from Madagascar Championship Wrestling, very white), Big Fat Oily Guy and Bob Backlund. Oily Guy is in thong. They exchange wristlocks to start and then go to the mat. Nash claims 39,000 people saw him beat Backlund in MSG. He’s joking and got a chuckle out of me, talking about the hour long match they had.

Starr Hulks Up (Nash’s term) but Shelley takes his head off with a clothesline. The Oily Guy keeps oiling up. Sliced Bread is countered as they haven’t done much here. Shelley is sent to the floor and Starr hits a corkscrew plancha to take him out. Starr goes over and gives himself points on Samolian Joe’s card. Suicide Dive takes Starr out. They seem to only care about the judges instead of getting a pin.

Back in a Lionsault gets two for Shelley. Starr gets some water and spits it in Shelley’s face but can’t take over. We’re over seven minutes into this so you would expect them to pick it up. Sliced Bread is countered again and Starr goes up for the 450. Shelley crotches him though and hits a Backstabber to take over. Slingshot DDT gets two. We’re told there’s a minute left. Sliced Bread is countered into a reverse powerbomb (always thought that would make a great finisher) and Starr hooks a camel clutch with 15 seconds left. The time runs out with no submission.

Rating: C. Not bad here but it was clear that they were going to the judges for a comedy ending to it. The match wasn’t bad though so I can’t really complain about it. The ten minute time limit made it really clear but it wasn’t a bad match or anything. I could have done without the Oily Guy though.

The fans are behind Shelley. The judges hand in their cards. Samolian Joe says Starr, Oily Guy says Shelley, Backlund says this is about conditioning and gives Starr’s a score of 92 and Shelley’s a score of 95. In takedowns, Starr gets an 82 and Shelley gets a 95. Something about positions gets Starr a 90 and Alex Shelton gets an 85. As for pinning combinations, Starr gets a 10 and Shelley gets a 9. Proper match building: Starr 25, Shelley 25, and that’s the final verdict: a draw.

Nash calls for overtime and they speed things up. Shelley gets a nifty rollup for the pin after about 20 seconds. His prize: a bowling trophy. It made little to no sense, but it was very entertaining. Starr goes off on Nash and the other X guys that came out to celebrate hold him back. Starr says this isn’t why he’s here and he only respects Senshi. Senshi doesn’t go anywhere so Starr slaps him. Senshi takes him down and Starr bails. He shoves all of the judges and Backlund puts him in the crossface chickenwing.

We recap the Petey Williams vs. James Storm match. Storm turned heel last month and hit Harris in the face with a beer bottle, blinding him. Williams came out to stand up for Harris and let’s have a match as a result.

James Storm vs. Petey Williams

Gail is with Storm here but isn’t thrilled with it. Petey speeds things up to start and a dropkick sends Storm to the floor. A dive misses though and Storm takes over. The fans want the Cowboy dead. Powerbomb sets up the Eye of the Storm for two. Petey grabs a DDT out of nowhere to put both guys down. I’m a bit distracted by Gail’s awesome rack so I apologize for the lack of play by play here. Storm blocks the Destroyer and hits a reverse DDT to take over again. Petey gets in a shot but his sunset flip is countered. Slingshot Codebreaker gets two. Last Call misses but Storm rolls him up and grabs the rope for the pin.

Rating: D. Pretty worthless match here that belonged on Impact. Williams was kind of thrown in there and fit to an extent but he could have been anyone for the most part. It was short though so I can’t really complain about it that much. Plus Gail looked great in a skirt and bra.

Post match Williams gets cuffed to the ropes as Gail protests. Storm goes after Gail so she slaps him. He loads up the beer bottle but Gail hits him low and gets the bottle herself. And then that worthless bag of skin known as Jackie Moore debuts as Storm’s new chick. Gail takes the AMW finisher, the Death Sentence.

We get a video of the New Age Outlaws going to Connecticut to make fun of WWE. This went on for awhile and I don’t think anyone really cared. This is set to the Hardy Boys’ old music from the late 90s. The Outlaws put up 1,000,000 dollars for a match against any WWE team. Here they are (the Voodoo Kin Mafia or whatever) for the challenge. They declare victory over WWE for some reason.

They talk about chilling at Titan Towers and Vince did nothing. Then they went to a house show and bothered Paul Levesque (HHH) who did nothing. They do wish him well in healing his leg though. They went to San Antonio to find Michael Hickenbottom (HBK) but he was a no show. Then they put out the million dollar charity (first time I’ve heard that mentioned) challenge but Vince turned it down. It would have helped ratings apparently.

Roadie makes fun of Vince for letting Cena lose to Kevin Federline and the celebrity look-a-likes (Rosie and Trump I think) have a match. I have no idea what the point of this was. The booing that was heard turned into TNA chants. That’s actually true, and then they do stupid stuff like this because this is what you pay to see when you buy a TNA PPV: people talking about WWE. Roadie actually says that Vince insults people’s intelligence. I’d advice you to scroll up about a page or two and make your own jokes. The fans don’t seem to care here.

He says that this is like the Iraqis having purple fingers from voicing their opinions. Yeah, because picking a wrestling company when you can watch both without overlapping is like freedom to vote. The fans are led in a chorus of We’re Not Gonna Take It and that’s it. And no it isn’t because Christy Hemme is here. She cries about how Shawn/HHH and the Outlaws are debated about who the foundation of DX. I kid you not, she asks what about Chyna.

It’s about women like her and Lita and Trish and WHAT IS THE POINT WITH THIS??? Oh it’s the start of Hemme’s women power thing. She talks about how the women aren’t disposable and how she wants to wrestle. This is just awful. The fans chant WE WANT WRESTLING and Christy says she does too, then she proceeds to keep talking. She goes into her last tirade and the fans chant boring. This has been going on over ten minutes now.

Roadie says there’s a place for women in the business and sounds sympathetic. Billy says that Christy is a slut (BIG pop) and tells her to go back to stripping. Girls are good for two things, prompting a suck it sign. Christy goes off on him again and slaps Kip (Billy) to finally end this. For some reason, this got about 15 minutes in total, or longer than every match on the card other than one tonight. And it led to Christy in a tuxedo match and managing a bunch of tag teams.

Team 3D says they’re ready for LAX. Runt (Spike) and Konnan have both been taken out for this match. Ray talks about the fans and how LAX has no idea how lucky they have it. They leave and Sting pops up, looking for Abyss. And that’s it.

We recap LAX vs. 3D. LAX has the titles, the Dudleys want them, Brother Runt and Konnan got beaten up. Runt is an alcoholic or something.

Tag Titles: LAX vs. Team 3D

D-Von vs. Hernandez gets us going. D-Von is played up as being just as strong as Hernandez here which is probably a stretch but I’ll go with it. Spinning elbow gets two. Off to Ray who chews on gum that Homicide spits out. Ray spits it back at him and that’s your pairing at the moment. The fans chant 187 as Homicide gets caught up in the power game. BIG Rock Bottom gets two. That looked awesome.

Off to D-Von who gets caught by Hernandez and a double team attack gets two. The spinning elbow takes Homicide down and it’s back to Ray. It’s been about 90% Dudleys at this point. Ray and Homicide go to the floor and Homicide gets killed. Does that make sense? Either way it’s off to SuperMex again. Off to a chinlock and the fans want tables. The LAX control doesn’t last long as D-Von beats them down again.

Splash misses for Hernandez and D-Von takes over (Ray: KILL HIM!) again. LAX gets caught by double teaming and Ray doesn’t seem to feel the need to get involved. He gets a tag a few seconds later and What’s Up Hernandez. 3D from 3D to Homicide and Hernandez is sent to the floor. And here’s Runt in a Santa suit, drunk off his Spike. He jumps off the top onto Homicide and that’s a DQ.

Rating: C-. Not a terrible match here and the ending was about the only way they could manage to keep the titles on LAX. This was pretty one sided the whole time so they couldn’t change the titles or having a regular ending without making one team look weak. Konnan being gone was fine for an explanation for the lack of cohesiveness from the champs. This was the first of five straight PPVs these two were against each other.

Joe says welcome to the ending Kurt. It’s personal now as it almost always is.

Recap of Joe vs. Angle. Joe was undefeated in TNA but Kurt showed up and in his first match, broke the streak. Joe won at the next PPV and this is the rubber match. They really could have built this up for a year at least but they did it in a month for some reason.

Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe

30 minute iron man match, winner gets the title shot next month. The fans are totally split here. They go to the corner to start and then to the mat after about a minute. Joe runs him over and Kurt hits the floor. Back in and they’re clearly pacing themselves here. Three minutes in and there’s more stalling by Kurt. Back in Kurt chokes away in the corner but Joe gets a running kick for two. Five minutes in.

Joe hooks something like a seated abdominal stretch and then a front facelock. Angle gets in a shot at Joe’s bad knee and hits a belly to belly suplex to take over. Off to a chinlock to eat up a few minutes. Joe gets up and hits a snap suplex and both guys are down at ten minutes in. Back up and Kurt gets sent to the floor. Elbow suicida mostly misses but they’re both down anyway.

Angle has a small cut on his head. Joe gets two and a powerslam but misses a charge. The American hits a German on the Samoan for two. Joe tries the MuscleBuster but Kurt rolls through. Joe rolls through that into the Clutch for a tap at just shy of 13:00 gone by. It’s 1-0 Joe. Things reset a bit but Kurt takes over with some right hands. Off to a chinlock and we hit the halfway point while in that hold.

Joe rolls through an Angle Slam and hits a running knee to the face for two. Angle picks the ankle though and Joe taps out with 13:57 to go to tie it up. Angle controls as the fans chant for Joe. Back to the chinlock but Angle shifts back into the ankle lock and Joe taps for the second time to make it 2-1 with about 11 minutes to go. Both guys are down again. Why Angle is tired I’m not quite sure but he is.

Angle pounds away in the corner with ten minutes left. Joe tries the MuscleBuster again but gets rolled up for two. Angle Slam gets the same. There go the straps and the ankle lock goes on again. Joe counters this time and this time the MuscleBuster ties us up at 7:40 to go. The fans think Joe’s Gonna Kill Him but Angle takes the knee out again. Back to the ankle lock with the grapevine but Angle goes to just a regular one instead. Joe kicks him off so Angle goes up. Kurt jumps off but into a suplex attempt. He rolls through though and takes a 3-2 lead over Joe at 5:19 to go.

Five minutes left. Angle starts stalling with four and a half minutes to go. Out to the floor and Angle is fine with chilling there for awhile. Four minutes left. Angle starts running but Joe’s leg keeps him from running. Back in and Joe is in trouble. Kurt charges into the corner and runs into a release Rock Bottom. Three minutes left. MuscleBuster is countered and Angle wraps the leg around the post. 2:30 to go.

They strike it out on the floor and back in with two minutes left. Joe hits a kick and Buster but Kurt gets his foot on the ropes. 90 seconds left. Both submissions are broken up and 60 seconds left. Joe tries the choke but Angle plays defense. 30 seconds left and Joe hooks an ankle lock on Kurt. There’s the grapevine but Kurt barely hangs on and tapes after the bell, managing to win.

Rating: B-. It was good but they never hit a high gear like they’re capable of. It had good drama at the end though which is really the best thing you can ask for. Keeping this at 30 minutes instead of an hour is a great idea and should be the norm for all Iron Man matches. Good match but these two are better at one fall stuff.

Sting says he’ll separate Abyss from his puppeteer tonight. Cue Mitchell and Abyss with the manager saying Sting is just as much of an animal as Abyss. Sting grabs Mitchell and says tonight Mitchell will be dancing with the devil.

We recap the world title match. Sting lost the title to Abyss via DQ at the last PPV so this is his rematch. As for Christian, he and Tomko know something about Abyss’ past and that Abyss was in prison for shooting his dad. Sting is trying to save Abyss from the dark side and almost did when Mitchell was gone, but Mitchell got him back recently.

NWA World Title: Sting vs. Abyss vs. Christian Cage

Elimination rules. Tomko will be locked in a small cage at ringside. Christian gets knocked down quickly so the others go at it. Abyss is champion here if that wasn’t clear. He gets knocked to the floor so Sting beats up Christian for awhile. Abyss pulls Sting to the floor and rams him into the cage. Now Cage is thrown around too. All Abyss at the moment. Christian gets in a shot and goes back inside with Abyss as Sting is still down.

Shock Treatment hits for two on the second attempt. Christian takes out the knee but jumps into a chokeslam for two. Tomko reaches through the cage and chokes Sting. Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam but the referee is yelling at Tomko. Christian guillotines Abyss on the ropes, right into a Death Drop from Sting and it’s one on one (despite a very clear shot of Abyss’ shoulder being up). Abyss chokes Sting before he leaves.

Christian uses the distraction for a missile dropkick for two. Off to a chinlock for a change of pace. Sting Hulks Up and gorilla presses the Canadian. Superplex puts both guys down and Sting can’t cover. Mitchell comes back down for no apparent reason. Sting hooks the Deathlock in the middle of the ring but Mitchell hits the guy holding the key and frees Tomko. Tomko runs in and hits a Rack Neckbreaker which is good for two.

Christian distracts the referee as Tomko comes in again. Sting knocks him to the floor as Abyss returns to beat Tomko up. Christian misses a belt shot and walks into an Unprettier from Sting for a VERY close two. Down goes the referee and Mitchell comes back in. Abyss is there too and Sting puts Mitchell in the Deathlock. Abyss I guess turns again, hitting Sting with a chain. A Frog Splash gives Christian the title.

Rating: C-. This didn’t really do it for me. It’s not bad, but MAN was it overdone at the end. Christian gets a world title out of it so the internet exploded, but at the same time the match was pretty boring. It just went too crazy at the end and the match felt like a trainwreck. Also it was pretty short, which didn’t help things.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s far better than Against All Odds, but this was a step off. The problem for the most part is that the main event feels like an afterthought, but it had to be given that Angle vs. Joe was the real main event. They kind of backed themselves into a corner with that, but given what they had it’s understandable. The other issue the title match had is that it felt very rushed. Gee, could it be because you spent FIFTEEN MINUTES ON A FREAKING CHRISTY HEMME SEGMENT??? Time management: it’s always been one of TNA’s biggest issues and it still is today. Ok show, nothing really memorable though.

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