Monday Night Raw – April 9, 2012: From Pull Apart Brawls To Disco Balls

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 9, 2012
Location: Verizon Center, Washington D.C.
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

After last week’s huge show it should be very interesting to see where the company goes from here. Brock Lesnar returned last week and laid out Cena, so I’d bet that we’re going to hear about that here. Other than that we have Brodus teaming with Santino apparently to face Ziggler/Swagger. Throw in Lord Tensai and Punk vs. Jericho and there are a ton of ways this show could go. Let’s get to it.

Oh and the cast of the Three Stooges is here tonight. Scratch that whole great show tonight.

We open with….the Stooges. Not Brock, not Cena, not Rock, not Punk, but a video on the Stooges.

Punk vs. Henry for the belt tonight.

Ace and Otunga really open the show. Ace now has trumpets for his music, which is probably a good thing. He talks about how this next guy is going to be the future of the WWE and will carry the banner of the company for years to come. We get a clip of Lesnar returning last week and laying out Cena. Brock vs. Cena is officially announced for Extreme Rules. Well Cena’s last match was a year long build so maybe a quick one is a good idea here.

Cole actually mentions UFC by name during Brock’s entrance. Brock does the jump to the apron thing. He thanks Ace for having the wisdom to bring legitimacy back to the WWE. That’s all Brock can get out because here comes Cena. Cena slams Brock in the face and HERE WE GO. Brock takes him down immediately but a bunch of suits pull them apart. Ok scratch that as they try to pull them apart. A bunch of jobbers and Ziggler come out and now there are bigger names in there.

There are probably thirty guys in there but they can’t keep Brock back. Even Sheamus is in there. Cena has some serious blood from his mouth and what looks like a huge hole in his lip. Now Cena goes after Brock again. They go at it AGAIN and Lesnar is finally put outside. Really hot opening here with faces and heels acting more realistic by having guys from either side of the spectrum holding back both Cena and Lesnar.

After a break Ace yells at Teddy and says it was his fault for not containing Cena. He sends Teddy off to get an explanation from Cena and complains to Otunga. Teddy leaves when Eve pops in and says to call her later. Why not talk to him now?

Brodus Clay/Santino Marella vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger

Dolph and Santino start things off with Ziggy hooking some quick rollups for two. Off to Brodus vs. Swagger and Jack manages to take him down as we take a break. Back with Ziggler dropping an elbow for two on Santino. Off to swagger who slams Santino down to block a tag. Dolph comes back in and hooks something like a crossface which is broken up. There’s the hot tag to Brodus who cleans house, headbutts Dolph down and splashes him for the pin at 8:00.

Rating: C-. Not a great match or anything but the idea here was to make Brodus look like he can compete with bigger names, which he certainly did. I’m not wild about putting him with Santino, but having him play the monster that wrecks things after the hot tag is a fine role for him at the moment. No real complaints here but it was nothing more than adequate.

Miz is looking to talk to Ace but Ace says we’ll talk next week. Teddy comes in and gets yelled at but Cena comes in with dried blood on his face. He talks about the legitimacy that Ace wants which is fine with Cena, because he loves this and has no issue with getting his face busted up. Cena wants a match tonight and says Ace can pick the opponent no matter who it is. Cena leaves and Ace takes care of the idea of a mystery by saying it’ll be Otunga. Gee good thing he told us. We might have waited to see who it was.

Santino is looking for the Three Stooges.

Back from a break and he’s still looking. They’re playing it up like they’re the real Stooges and not actors portraying the Stooges. Instead santino finds Kane and does Stooges sound effects anyway. Kane isn’t pleased so Santino runs off.

R-Truth vs. Cody Rhodes

Cody takes him down quickly with the Alabama Slam….and here’s big Show who looks pretty awesome in a suit. We get a video from last week with Cody getting beaten by Kofi. The video ends and Cody walks into Little Jimmy for the pin at 1:38. You know, like last week, but this week instead.

Santino is still looking for them and finds a crate marked fragile. He thinks it’s Italian soda sent by his mom so he pries it open to find the Stooges. Slapstick ensues. We get the debut of the Moe-Bra. They go back in the box but Moe says they need to think outside of it.

Lord Tensai vs. Yoshi Tatsu

Believe it or not there’s a story to this. Yoshi has said on Twitter that he’s REAL Japanese and not a fake like Tensai. An Albert chant breaks out as he rams in headbutts. Yoshi got in a pair of chops but that’s about it. Tensai hits a bunch of strikes and just like last week it’s stopped after a chokebomb at 2:04. Claw hold post match.

Before we go to break we see Jericho breaking the bottle over Punk’s head last week.

After we come back from break we see Jericho breaking the bottle over Punk’s head last week.

Here’s Punk to talk about how Straightedge isn’t something everyone gets. It’s just one drink or one cigarette and he gets that. However to him it’s a choice. It wasn’t something he chose to be trendy, but rather because it’s a way of life. He doesn’t talk about it that much (other than becoming a messiah because of it) because he didn’t want people to feel sorry for him. He told himself a long time ago that he’d make it to the top because he’s the best in the world.

And then here came Chris Jericho who also says that he’s the best in the world. Jericho broke the privacy that Punk has spent his life building up by telling the world about his father’s alcoholism and making up lies about his sister. Then at Wrestlemania, he made Jericho tap out. Jericho took it one step further and poured whiskey all over him and broke the bottle over his head. It made Punk smell exactly like his father did when he’d come home drunk, which is something Punk hates.

Jericho pops up on the screen and thinks Punk is still hung over. Is he shaking because he’s on his first bender? Last week, Jericho made him CM Drunk for the first time. Punk is shaking with anger and says that last week all that was broken was a bottle. He says that Jericho’s failure was taking Punk to a dark place because he’s going to take that out on Jericho.

Raw World Title: Mark Henry vs. CM Punk

Punk goes right at him with knees and a spinning kick. A clothesline doesn’t do much and Henry runs him over on a second attempt at one. They go to the floor and Punk hits him with a monitor for the DQ at 47 seconds. Ok then.

Punk gets ready to jump off the apron with the monitor but Jericho pops up with alcohol. The distraction lets Henry get up and destroy Punk with a pair of slams in the ring. Henry leaves so Jericho pulls out his beer He goes to pour it on Punk but the champ pops up and it’s on. Punk charges into the Codebreaker though and gets beer poured on him.

Zack Ryder vs. Alberto Del Rio

This is exactly what you would expect from a Ryder match anymore: Del Rio beats him up, Ryder gets in a few shots so that two people in the audience believe he could have a chance, the Rough Ryder is countered and the armbreaker ends it at 1:27. The way they’ve treated Ryder might be the thing in WWE that disgusts me more than anything else in company history. Seriously.

The Stooges have an idea for something next.

Here are the Stooges minus Curly. He comes out in a fat suit as Hogan but his voice is high pitched. Moe smacks him and he turns into a pretty bad Hogan imitation. The fans are NOT impressed. THANKFULLY Kane comes out, drawing cheers. He does the fire corners thing and Moe/Larry run. Curly Hulks Up and gets chokeslammed. This was so stupid.

Henry says next week he gets another title shot, no DQ and no countout.

We recap the brawl that opened the show.

Lesnar says he’s proud of everything he does. Eight years ago he left and went to the UFC, won their world title and gave them success which he’s proud of. Now he’s proud to be back here where Cena thinks he’s on the top. Cena couldn’t hold his jockstrap in a million years. He’s not here to make friends because he’s a proud war machine but he’s not as proud as the fans should be to have him back.

Here’s a video of the main event guys talking about how great HHH vs. Taker was because we can’t go five minutes without praising HHH or Undertaker right? At least with this one, the match really was that good.

John Cena vs. David Otunga

Feeling out process to start and Cena wipes the baby oil off Otunga. To be fair the guy was probably a fire hazard. Cena pounds him but he misses a splash in the corner and David gets in some offense. Shoulder block gets two. Otunga poses a lot and here comes Cena. The usual stuff sets up the Shuffle, AA, STF for the tap at 5:05.

Rating: C-. This was nothing of note but it gave us some Cena to watch for the night. Also it allows for the Brock run-in which is happening as I type this. These two are big deals and they need to be on TV as much as they can when Brock is around. He’ll only be around a few times a month so they need to use him properly.

Post match Brock runs in and low blows Cena (which we get a full replay of in the middle of the attack) and lays him out with the F5.

Overall Rating: B+ This was a very solid show and while it’s a step behind last week’s, the hot streak certainly is continuing. The Stooges thing was stupid, but other than that we’re still getting Cena vs. Lesnar in a few weeks, which is huge to say the least. The key difference to WWE at the moment is it feels like they’re actually trying and putting some effort into their stories which hasn’t been the case for a long time recently. You can tell when they’ve got it in coast mode and when they’re pounding it in, and they’re on a roll at the moment. Blast From The Past should be fun tomorrow night, at least I hope.

Results
Santino Marella/Brodus Clay b. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger – Splash to Ziggler
R-Truth b. Cody Rhodes – Little Jimmy
Lord Tensai b. Yoshi Tatsu via referee stoppage
Mark Henry b. CM Punk via DQ when Punk hit Henry with a monitor
Alberto Del Rio b. Zack Ryder – Cross Armbreaker
John Cena b. David Otunga – STF

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6 comments

  1. WWYKI says:

    I’d love to see why you think the way WWE is treating Ryder is the worst ever. I mean, I can see it too, but I’d like to see your reasoning. Could make for a good post.

    klunderbunker Reply:

    I’ve been thinking about making one. I’m dead tired tonight but I might do one of those tomorrow.

  2. AttitudeFan says:

    Wow we have totally different feelings to this show. I thought it was pretty damn bad. I loved the opening and from their on it just hurt watching.

  3. Mathix says:

    I was hesitant about Cena vs Lesnar so soon, but seems the only logical thing to do because of Cena coming off the biggest match of his career. They needed something big to keep interest and they did just that. I can’t believe I am actually saying this but I’m looking forward to Extreme Rules. How do you think the buyrate will do KB?

    klunderbunker Reply:

    It’ll be solid but at the same time the money is going to become a factor. Mania was what, $60? This one is like 45? That adds up in a hurry.

  4. TheSDQQKidJoe says:

    The crowd wasn’t feeling the Stooges at all…