Monday Night Raw – May 7, 2012: Cole Undersells ANOTHER Surprise Return

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 7, 2012
Location: Greensboro Coliseum Complex, Greensboro, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Another week, another Raw. The focus this week is likely going to be on Lesnar for his attack last week on HHH, but I’d be surprised if Brock is actually here. Also we get more build towards Cena vs. Ace, which I’ve mellowed on since last week. Other than that it’s hard to say what’s coming as most of the midcard hasn’t been set for the PPV yet. Let’s get to it.

Ace opens things up and says that since he’s the boss of the company, he has to be respected. Cena called him an idiot, so Ace went into a rage. Lesnar hurt Cena’s arm but Ace hurt his pride. At Over the Limit, he’ll finish what “Brock Cena” started. He’s won’t be reprimanded by the board and he’s requested that Cena not be here tonight so he can heal up. Cena however will be here for a satellite interview.

Also anyone that makes fun of his voice will suffer severe consequences. It wasn’t always like that, as he was injured by Steve Williams. That didn’t stop him from becoming, and I quote, the biggest star in Japan. We get a set of stills of him in Japan and Ace calls himself the Hogan, Austin and Rock of Japan. He’ll wrestle one time at Over the Limit. May God bless everyone and have mercy on Cena.

Cue Punk who says that despite Ace saying he’s behind People Power, Ace has no idea what the people want to hear or see. Punk is here to help tonight though, but he’s not going to tell Ace what the people want to see. What he will do though is say what the people don’t want to see, and that is Johnny Ace. They also don’t want to hear about Ace’s time in Japan and his “success”. This is all about Ace putting his chips on Lesnar and then Cena beating Brock.

That turned Ace red and the only reason Ace was a success in Japan is because no one in America would pay a dime to see him which is why he can’t get booked anywhere. Ace asks if Punk is done. Punk says that Ace is ugly, stupid, has no friends and is a gigantic tool box. Ace says if he wasn’t in training he’d pummel Punk, but tonight it’s going to be Punk vs. Tensai. Punk says cool.

Ace runs into Big Show (literally) and yells at him. Show makes fun of Ace after he leaves and Eve glares at him.

Intercontinental Title: Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes

Show takes him into the corner and chops him down, then he throws him out of another corner. Cody gets up some boots in the corner and hits the Disaster Kick which puts Show on his knees. Cody runs from the WMD and says give him his belt. Show meets him as he’s leaving but Cody gets out and sprints to the back. Countout at 1:51.

Show asks for a mic and tells Cody to come back but Cody walks off. Cue Eve who tells Show to apologize to Ace for making fun of his voice. Show lacklusterly apologizes but that’s not good enough for Eve. She says outside of this business, there isn’t much room for a 7’0 400lb freak. Show apologizes again but is a little more testy this time. He leaves and Eve glares at him.

Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler

This should be awesome. AW and company are watching in the back. Kofi misses a charge in the corner and Dolph gets two. Mason Ryan is now watching in the back with AW, Primo, Epico and Rosa. Dolph takes Kofi onto the mat for a second but he misses a charge as well, allowing Kofi to speed things up. Boom Drop looks to set up the Trouble in Paradise but Swagger distracts. Zig Zag is countered and the SOS gets two. Vickie gets up on the apron and the distraction lets the Zig Zag get the pin at 2:20. Dang they actually waited a week to have a tag champion lose.

Cena joins us via satellite and says that he has to get his elbow drained twice a day. His doctors say not to compete for a few months but he’s going to do it anyway. He’s not surprised that the board didn’t act because he requested that they didn’t, at least not until after Over the Limit. Cole says he’s impressed by what Ace has accomplished in the ring over his career and thinks maybe Cena is scared of Ace. Cena says he is scared of Ace to the point that Ace will hurt himself. In 13 days, Ace gets beaten up.

Kelly Kelly/Layla vs. Natalya/Maxine

Beth is on commentary and wants her title back. She gets her title match at the PPV. Layla and Maxine get us going and Kelly takes out Natalya for no apparent reason. Layout beats Maxine at 1:05. Moving on.

Randy Orton/Sheamus vs. Alberto Del Rio/Chris Jericho

Orton and Del Rio start us off. Jericho doesn’t really have a feud in this that I can tell. Del Rio jumps over Orton out of the corner but gets clotheslined down for two. Off to Jericho who has about as much luck as Del Rio did. Sheamus gets the tag and keeps beating on the Canadian. He hits the ten forearms to the chest in the ropes but Jericho sends Sheamus’ bad shoulder into the post as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus breaking out of an arm hold and sending Jericho into the corner. Double tag brings in Del Rio to get beaten up by Orton. Elevated DDT looks to set up the RKO but he stops to powerslam Jericho instead. An enziguri from Del Rio puts Orton down for two. Orton dropkicks Del Rio down but it’s Jericho’s powerslam that takes Orton down. Orton gets a rollup for two but another enziguri puts Orton down.

Back to Del Rio who works on the arm and hits it with the Codebreaker. With a shout of DESTINY he tries the cross armbreaker but Orton counters into the backbreaker. Back to Sheamus who cleans house and sets up the Cross on Jericho but the arm gives out. A Walls attempt is countered and the Irish Curse gets two. Del Rio dropkicks the arm but Orton hits him with the RKO. Jericho ducks the Brogue Kick and it hits Orton. Codebreaker to Sheamus gets the pin at 13:02.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent match here and it might signal that they’re setting up a threeway, which would be a very good idea. Del Rio vs. Sheamus one on one just sounds boring beyond all belief but throwing in the Canadian would help things a lot. Not a great match here but it accomplished its goal and that’s all that matters.

Sheamus tries to help Orton up but Orton RKOs him.

Ace sends Eve to talk to Big Show. Jericho comes in and demands a title match. Del Rio says it’s his shot. Orton demands one as well when Sheamus comes in and jumps Jericho. Sheamus and Orton clean house and get in an argument with Sheamus saying anytime Orton wants some, come get him. Ace makes it a fatal fourway. Thank goodness.

Brodus Clay vs. The Miz

Before the match, Brodus says to make sure to call your mama this Sunday. Miz doesn’t like having to face Brodus tonight because if he wanted to see King Hippo dance, he’d play Mike Tyson’s Punch Out. Miz pounds away on him but Brodus runs him over and knocks him to the floor. Coming back in Miz gets the upper hand, hitting the boot to the face.

There’s another boot and it gets two. The corner clothesline hits and Miz comes off the top with the ax handle for two. Brodus shrugs off the chinlock but Miz takes the knee out for the low DDT, getting two. Brodus shrugs him off again and uses his head to take Miz down. Miz jumps into the suplex and the splash ends this at 4:14.

Rating: C-. The match was pretty boring but having Brodus beat a bigger name is a big step for him. He’s beaten jobbers for so long and has only beaten Dolph/Swagger by countout/DQ other than I think once. Not a terrible match or anything but it was a good thing to see as Brodus is looking to have an actual feud instead of just people he doesn’t like.

Don’t be a bully!

We recap the HHH/Lesnar attack from last week. HHH will have to have surgery and rehab. He’ll be on Raw next week and here’s Lesnar. Scratch that it’s his legal team. I like that they’re coming up with some ways to keep him off the shows. HOKEY SMOKE IT’S PAUL HEYMAN. Cole of course undersells it like he does with everything else. He talks about how different things are today than they were ten years ago when he originally represented Lesnar.

It was ace who sent Brock an offer because Brock is a machine. He lists off Brock’s accomplishments and says that the demands Lesnar made were fair because Brock is an honest man. Heyman reads a statement from Brock about corporate politics and about how Lesnar gave what HHH and Cena deserves. The Cell match vs. Undertaker was now “nearly an hour” according to Brock (it was under 31 minutes). Brock is never coming back because he quits.

CM Punk vs. Lord Tensai

During Punk’s entrance, Ace adds Daniel Bryan to the match….and we take a break at 10:56.

Show is talking to two guys from some USA show and they think he doesn’t need to apologize to anyone. Show says things are different now and it’s not a good place here. The actors say they’re detectives and think they should investigate some pictures that are out there apparently. They make fun of his voice and Show laughs but here’s Eve. Show stops laughing.

CM Punk vs. Lord Tensai/Daniel Bryan

No entrances for the heels to save some time. Tensai starts off and uses the power to put Punk down. Off to Bryan who gets a reaction from the crowd. He fires off the kicks to the chest and shouts YES on each one. Punk escapes a suplex and rolls him up for two. They cross body each other and both guys are down. Tensai comes in for more power and they head to the floor with Punk’s back going into the post.

Back in now and it’s time for a Japanese nerve hold. Backsplash gets two and it’s off to Bryan but the Swan Dive misses. Bryan reaches for a tag but gets caught in a slingshot. Punk makes what I guess you can call a comeback with a neckbreaker. The knee and bulldog combination actually works and it’s GTS time. Bryan escapes and tags in Tensai who clotheslines Punk’s head off very slowly. GTS to Tensai is countered but Punk manages the high kick. Tensai’s dude gets up for a distraction and Bryan crotches Punk. The chokebomb is totally messed up and the Mist Claw with the legsweep gets the pin at 6:54.

Rating: C. Tensai is boring and that’s all there is to it. The guy just isn’t an interesting wrestler and no matter how Japanese they make him it’s not going to happen. He’s big and slow with a bad finisher in the claw. Use the chokebomb (if you can do it right) and be a monster like you look like. Punk vs. Bryan is going to be good.

Bryan stomps on Punk post match and puts him in the YES Lock.

Overall Rating: C. This was a hit and miss show. The Heyman return was a big shock and THANKFULLY we got the Sheamus vs. Del Rio match adjusted as it desperately needed to be. Other than that, the wrestling was ok at best. They built up Over the Limit pretty well, but having no Cena for the majority of the show really brought it down. This show needs more Eve as well, especially with those glasses.

Results
Big Show b. Cody Rhodes via countout
Dolph Ziggler b. Kofi Kingston – Zig Zag
Kelly Kelly/Layla b. Natalya/Maxine – Layout to Maxine
Alberto Del Rio/Chris Jericho b. Sheamus/Randy Orton – Codebreaker to Sheamus
Brodus Clay b. The Miz – Splash
Lord Tensai/Daniel Bryan b. CM Punk – Claw Hold

Remember to like this on Facebook and follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

4 comments

  1. newc868 says:

    I think Lord Tensai really needs to start talking maybe he can explain why he embraces the Japanese culture more than the American way.

    The anti-Americn schtick is nothing new but it’s certainly one way to get heat… Unless you’re Jinder Mahal but there’s hope with Tensai. Oh and pick up te pace in which he destroys people. His slow match pace drags the life out of matches.

  2. Redsox4life says:

    Why exactly was that main event a non-title match?
    I thought Punk was supposed to defend his title every week until he loses it.

    klunderbunker Reply:

    Shh. That was more than two weeks ago. You’re not supposed to remember that.

  3. Jay says:

    RAW wasn’t bad this week. Paul Heyman coming back was a nice surprise. I read he is sticking around at least till Summerslam which is perfect. The Punk/Ace stuff was good as always and the Tag Match was good. I like the 4-Way at OTL with Orton/Y2J thrown in now. No Cena this week but I was ok with it,makes sense to keep him off until at least the week before the PPV.