Impact Wrestling – November 22, 2012: I Understand Why It Happed, But It Still Sucked

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 22, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Todd Keneley, Taz

It’s Thanksgiving and tonight is Open Fight Night. Since no one is watching tonight, the hook of the show is that the Gut Check guys are coming back to issue the challenges. In other words, tonight we’re basically going to have nothing but OVW guys fighting people from TNA. Why do I watch this every week again? Let’s get to it.

Gut Check: Wes Brisco vs. Garrett Bischoff

Oh come on man. This is what we’re opening with? Wes takes it to the mat very quickly but Brisco takes him down even faster. A legdrop misses and here’s Angle to watch Brisco who he’s kind of mentoring. Both guys try dropkicks at the same time and it’s a standoff. Garrett takes him to the mat again with a headlock takeover but Brisco comes back with a neckbreaker for two. Garrett hooks a chinlock and this is already dull. They trade some pinfall attempts and Garrett takes him down with a flapjack for two. Brisco comes back with Kofi’s SOS for the pin at 4:16. Ignore that Brisco’s shoulders were down too.

Rating: C-. This is one of those matches where everything was technically fine but it’s a guy in his first match against a guy that no one likes at all. Based on that, why am I supposed to care about something like this? Brisco winning doesn’t mean much as he beat a jobber, but that doesn’t guarantee him a contract right? Nothing to see here.

Al Snow pumps up the Gut Check guys in the back.

Angle congratulates both guys in the back.

Here’s Joey Ryan for a chat. He says that it’s Open Fight Night for the Gut Check winners, but he didn’t need to win Gut Check at all. Hogan thinks he can split up Morgan and Ryan to conquer them, but you can’t divide the tag champions which is what Ryan and Morgan will become.

Joey Ryan vs. Chavo Guerrero

Ryan jumps Chavo as he comes in but Chavo comes back with right hands very quickly. Joey misses a charge in the corner but decks Guerrero anyway to take over. A dropkick gets one and it’s chinlock time. That goes nowhere so Guerrero dropkicks Ryan down and wins a slugout. Chavo gets sent to the apron but elbows Ryan down and hits the slingshot hilo. The Three Amigos look to set up the Frog Splash but Morgan comes in and chokeslams Chavo down for the DQ at 3:50.

Rating: C. This was better than the opening match but it doesn’t make me want to see a tag title match between the two teams. It looks like Ryan is a guy that knows about two moves and who Chavo had beaten in less than four minutes. I really don’t get why Ryan and Morgan are together but they likely shouldn’t be.

Hernandez clears Morgan out of the ring.

Aries says he’s got someone special in mind to call out tonight and it’ll be a family affair.

Sam Shaw vs. Alex Silva

I’m not going to bother talking about the call outs unless there’s something significant because it looks like they’re going to be “I want to fight *insert name here*!” Silva, who has some VERY skinny legs, charges at Shaw and takes him down almost immediately. We hear about OVW and how it’s the developmental territory which is kind of strange to hear on a national TV show. Silva misses a legdrop but stays on offense anyway. Shaw snaps and hits a spear and a bunch of dropkicks followed by Orton’s backbreaker and a neckbreaker for no cover. A guillotine legdrop (called the Breaking Point for some reason) ends Silva at 4:00.

Rating: D+. What I saw here were two guys that have no character, no stories and no business being on national TV. There wasn’t anything terrible in it but there’s also no reason to care. Basically all that happened here was “Hey, remember these guys? They lost matches earlier this year and now they’re back!” Not really interesting, but again no one is watching tonight. Except me. I hate my life.

Eric Young and ODB have the turkey suit and go in to see Hogan. Turkey jokes are made and Hogan says ok but get out of here. Hogan: “When I grow up, I want to be him.” O……k?

Eric and ODB run into the Rob’s and apparently Big Rob was scarred for life because of being in the turkey suit last week. Jesse and Tara pop up and apparently there’s going to be a triple threat turkey match. Rob and Jesse have a tool off in a bizarrely intriguing moment.

We recap the Aces and 8’s hammer attacks. This leads to a video about Joseph Park’s story with the gang.

Aces and 8’s have a Thanksgiving feast and Doc is a fully patched member. Apparently some guy named VP gets to throw the next dart to decide who the target is.

Video on Christian York and his Gut Check experience.

Christian York vs. Jeff Hardy

See, THIS is the kind of call out that actually works. Feeling out process to start and Hardy elbows York into the corner. This is non-title of course. York comes back with some kicks to send Hardy into the corner again and we take a break at a standoff. Back with Hardy sending Christian into the corner but the Twist of Fate misses, giving York two.

York hits a half nelson suplex and puts on a kind of Octopus hold while on his back. That gets broken up but the Twist of Fate doesn’t work. York hits a Twist on Hardy for two but a swinging neckbreaker is countered into the sitout gordbuster. Jeff goes up but has to settle for a sunset bomb off the top instead of the Swanton. There’s the Twist and the Swanton gets the pin at 10:58.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here but I was so bored sitting through it. At the end of the day, York is a guy we’ve seen once and we’re supposed to buy him as having a chance against Jeff Hardy? York looked decent out there and got to show off a bit, but this night of no stories isn’t doing anything for me at all.

Post match Roode comes in and hits a spinebuster on York and a spear on Hardy for good measure.

We look at Taeler Hendrix’s Gut Check. At least she’s something to look at.

Brooke Hogan comes up to waste our time with Taeler Hendrix.

Taeler Hendrix vs. Tara

Non-title again. Tara throws her around, massages Jesse, and chokes Taeler a bit. Taeler hits something vaguely resembling a dropkick to send Tara into Jesse followed by a spinning suplex slam (think Cena’s finishing sequence) for two and a cross body for the same. A high kick gets two for Taeler but Tara hits ajawbreaker and a big right hand with some overselling by Hendrix. Widow’s Peak ends it at 4:20.

Rating: D. Again, why is this supposed to be interesting? We have a bit name chick and a no name chick and the big name chick beat up the no name chick. Why is that supposed to be interesting? Hendrix seems to be a nice girl but she’s not ready yet for something like this, which is the problem with modern wrestling: she needs experience but after you work the indies, you’re told you have to learn a mainstream style so there’s no point to going to the indies anymore, meaning you get a lot of inexperienced people on the main shows who are there because of potential. That’s not good for the future of wrestling.

Eric Young vs. Jesse Godderz vs. Robbie E

The loser has to wear a turkey suit. I think I smell a comedy match. Eric locks up with the referee to start and then clotheslines down the other two guys. The heels beat Eric down and then get in a fight of their own for no apparent reason other than that’s how triple threats work. Eric comes back as ODB and Tara get in a fight in the ring. They do the roll on the referee spot and Jesse is sent to the floor. The Rob’s have miscommunication and Eric throws E to the floor. The Stunner is broken up and an O’Connor Roll pins Jesse at 3:33.

Rating: D+. It was a comedy match and that’s it. Eric did his schtick and we get a comedy payoff with Jesse in a turkey suit. Again though, this is one of those matches that just don’t matter. Then again, this show doesn’t matter at all so it’s not like this means anything. It’s tradition I guess.

Jesse puts the suit on and hates it of course. The important thing though is here are Aces and 8’s to destroy Eric with the hammer. That’s likely his exit from the company and hopefully the end of the stupid Knockout Tag Titles.

Here are Daniels and Kaz with Daniels talking about the “final” battle with AJ coming up at Final Resolution. However tonight, it’s Kaz vs. Styles.

Kazarian vs. AJ Styles

I’m surprised they have to feel each other out given how many times they’ve fought. AJ hits the drop down/kick to send Kaz to the floor and a headscissors takes Kaz down back in the ring. Styles gets knocked down out of the corner and Kaz pounds away, hitting a gutwrench suplex for two. AJ makes a quick comeback but gets taken down by a DDT. A sunset flip out of the corner by Styles is countered into a cover but Kaz is caught holding the ropes. Earl Hebner shoves Kaz into a rollup for two but there’s the Pele for the pin at 5:27.

Rating: C. Not bad here but it’s too late to save this show. You can’t have a show be this boring to start things off before having some good stuff at the end and expect people to care about it still. AJ is fine in the ring and it’s good to see him have a story, but do we REALLY need to see him vs. Daniels again? There’s no one else he can fight? Really?

Here’s Aries to end the show. He’s in a suit so this isn’t likely going to be a match. Aries thinks the deck is stacked against him in the last few months and that’s because of Hogan. So he calls out…..Brooke Hogan. Well of course he does. He’s tired of hearing about the name Hogan all the time and knows Brooke is waiting to get married to get rid of that name. Maybe she could be Miss Brooke McMahon or Brooke Trump?

Apparently it’s going to be Miss Bully Ray because Aries has footage. WHAT IS WITH THE HIDDEN RELATIONSHIP THEME IN WRESTLING ANYMORE??? It’s the same clips we’ve seen of the two of them together the last two weeks. Aries says he’ll give her all the stuffing she wants, which brings out Hulk and Ray to chase Aries off. Brooke looks back and forth between Hulk and Bully while giving Hulk a look as if to say she’s sorry. Brooke runs off to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Yes it was bad, but as I’ve said earlier, I know why it happened. The audience for this is likely to be weak so why bother wasting a big show on it? They just cooled their heels a bit here to waste some time which is understandable, but it doesn’t make the show easy to sit through. The Gut Check guys won’t be seen again for months and I can’t say I’m complaining at all. Back to normal next week I’m sure.

Results

Wes Brisco b. Garrett Bischoff – Side Cradle

Chavo Guerrero b. Joey Ryan via DQ when Matt Morgan interfered

Sam Shaw b. Alex Silva – Breaking Point

Jeff Hardy b. Christian York – Swanton Bomb

Tara b. Taeler Hendrix – Widow’s Peak

Eric Young b. Jesse Godderz and Robbie E – Rollup to Godderz

AJ Styles b. Kazarian – Pele

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

1 comment

  1. Jay says:

    WOW judging by that Review Im glad I skipped this Impact. I don’t like Open Fight Night & Gut Check is a poor man’s NXT/Tough Enough. So now we have Brooke Hogan involved in a Weekly Storyline (oh boy) it seems and the ever exciting AJ Styles vs Christopher Daniels Feud Part 564 continues.