WWA – The Revolution: This Show Certainly Was Revolting

WWA: The Revolution
Date: February 24, 2002
Location: Aladdin Casino Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 2,800
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Mark Madden

This is the second of five PPVs these guys did and this time they’re stateside. Also they’re not taped this time, but I’m not sure how close to live this is. The major new name in town is Eddie Guerrero, who was released from the WWF for drunk driving in late 2001. Another name here is Grandmaster Sexay who is somehow getting a world title match tonight. Let’s get to it.

Apparently the main event was supposed to be Savage vs. Jarrett but Savage isn’t there. Neither is Road Dogg who was in the main event of the first show. Oh this doesn’t bode well.

We open with some band singing a rock song about Revolution. Apparently it’s Tantric, who I think has done some stuff for TNA.

Here’s Andre McManus to welcome us to the show and tell us that Savage won’t be there. Again, why does this take so long?

Opening sequence, which is basically a video recap of the last show.

Apparently this is indeed live. Ok then.

Nova vs. Low Ki vs. Tony Mamaluke vs. Christopher Daniels vs. Shark Boy vs. Low Ki

Elimination rules here and no one gets an entrance. It’s probably a good thing that they have to tag here. Styles vs. Mamaluke to start and they trade arm control. The camera keeps changing angles and it’s getting annoying. Mamaluke is bleeding from the nose as he hits a German to send AJ down onto his shoulder. Shark Boy comes in to fight Tony and gets clotheslined down.

Nova is standing on the floor, drinking water. Shark Boy hits an atomic drop and bites the place where his knee went. Off to Low Ki who gets atomic dropped as well, but comes back with a kick to Shark Boy’s head before he gets bitten. Daniels vs. Low Ki now and you know the strikes are coming here. A Capo Kick staggers Daniels and Nova gets tagged so hard that he spills his drink.

Apparently Nova is a businessman now. I’ve never seen a businessman in workout pants and no shirt but whatever. He works on Daniels’ arm a bit before it’s back to Low Ki. A double gordbuster puts Daniels down and it’s off to Mamaluke. There are the kicks from Low Ki and a double suplex by Ki and Sharky, but there was no tag so Shark Boy’s cover gets no count.

Things start to break down a bit as Sharky Boy and Mamaluke go to the floor for some dives. They wind up in the crowd (which is carpeted) as AJ pounds on Nova in the ring. Nova hooks a modified Crossface which goes nowhere because they’re not legal. Shark Boy hits a top rope rana on Mamaluke for two, even though the referee’s hand hit the mat three times. Low Ki comes in and hits a cartwheel kick on the distracted Shark Boy for the first elimination.

Off to AJ vs. Low Ki as the camera angles start to show a few details about the “arena”. There’s no ramp that I can see, and all of the seats are opposite the screen. I believe they’re in a theater, which is a really weird visual and atmosphere. Low Ki hits a HARD kick to the head (I’m shocked) but AJ comes back with forearms to the head. Both guys hit cross bodies so it’s off to Mamaluke vs. Daniels.

An STO kills Mamaluke who is a bloody mess. Daniels loads up the BME (I think) but Styles breaks it up for no apparent reason. AJ gets knocked down (I think. The camera direction here is a nightmare) so Mamaluke hits a belly to back off the top for two. Daniels hits the Angel’s Wings for no cover, instead tagging in Styles for the Clash to get us down to four people.

Nova comes in with a backbreaker on Styles for two before it’s back to Daniels vs. Styles. Even before TNA existed this was happening a lot. Styles tags in Low Ki who strikes away even harder on Daniels. Low Ki charges into a spinning electric chair of all things and a top rope elbow from Nova gets two on the kicking dude. Nova goes up and gets crotched, but as Low Ki goes up, he gets elbowed down into the Tree of Woe. Low Ki sits up and pulls Nova down into a rear naked choke while they’re both upside down.

Daniels comes in and is immediately thrown out, followed by everyone going to the floor. Daniels dives onto Low Ki so Styles hits a Shooting Star Press to the floor. This camera work is REALLY annoying as it either keeps cutting away or it has awkward shots of everything. Back in the ring, Low Ki loads up a rana on Nova, but Daniels runs the corner and hits a top rope Rock Bottom on Low Ki for the elimination.

Nova dropkicks Daniels to the floor so it’s Styles vs. Nova legally I guess. AJ is busted too. Everyone is in now and Daniels kicks Nova down and AJ gets two off a neckbreaker to Christopher. Daniels takes AJ down and hits the BME for two. There’s a dragon sleeper to AJ but Nova hooks a standing Last Chancery on Daniels at the same time. Nova grabs Daniels from behind but Styles sunset flips Nova, sending Daniels flying in the suplex.

AJ shoves Nova off the top and counters Daniels’ rana into a middle rope Styles Clash to get us down to one on one. A pair of rollups get two for Nova, as does a Downward Spiral. AJ gets two of his own off a German and Tessmacher’s current finisher (Tesshocker if you’re a big wrestling geek like me). They both go up with Nova hitting a C4 off the top (flipping Downward Spiral) for the final pin. Not much build to that.

Rating: B. Take six young and small guys, throw them in one match, let them have fun. AJ and Low Ki looked like the stars here, which they would be for all intents and purposes. Nova was already a name, Mamaluke never went anywhere, Shark Boy would become a cult favorite, and Daniels would become a decent sized star of his own right. Still though, fun match and AJ looked good in it, which shouldn’t shock anyone.

The announcers talk a bit, including mentioning that Scott Steiner is returning to the ring tonight.

Here’s Commissioner Bret Hart. His entrance takes WAY longer than it should but they’ve got a lot of time to fill in I guess. He says he never expected to be in a ring again, so thanks for having him. Bret talks about how there’s a combination of established names and young guns here tonight and it’s going to be a great show. As for the main event, there’s no Randy Savage. Of all people, he picks BRIAN CHRISTOPHER to main event the show with Jarrett. Good freaking grief. Does the name EDDIE GUERRERO mean nothing to you?

Bret goes into a strange discussion of 9/11 and says he considered himself a North American. Those people (the terrorists) don’t speak to the world, and that’s why he’s a part of this company. Now he’s talking about the Canadian hockey team, drawing boos. Now he says go take out Bin Laden. What in the world was he thinking when he was talking here? I know he’s not a promo guy, but this was BIZARRE.

Allan Funk, arguably more famous as Kwee Wee, is doing a bad Hogan imitation and talking to two midget wrestlers about how he’ll teach people to drop a leg on someone.

Alan Funk vs. Reno

Funk does the full on Hogan bit here and while he looks like Hogan (minus 6 inches or so), this isn’t exactly hilarious. Reno was an intense guy from WCW in 2000. Funk hits a release powerbomb drop and rips his shirt off. A kind of slam (more like a faceplant) gets two for Funk but Reno blocks a suplex to take over. Reno pounds away for a bit and hits an overhead belly to belly (kind of. Funk landed on his shoulder). Funk comes back with a slingshot sunset flip for two but Reno clotheslines him down.

Off to the chinlock by Reno, followed by a suplex for two. Funk Hulks Up but Reno ducks the big boot and punches Funk down. Reno Rolls the Dice (Cross Rhodes) but doesn’t cover. Instead he goes up and jumps into Funk’s boot because the script calls for Funk to make a comeback here. He pounds Reno down, hits a piledriver and drops the leg for the pin. Apparently he’s the Funkster.

Rating: D. And……so? Reno was nothing, Funk was nothing, the Hogan imitation has been done WAY better before (Showster for instance), and the match wasn’t any good. Funk would go on to be Women’s Champion in TNA and Reno would more or less disappear off the face of the Earth. I don’t think a search party was ever sent for him either.

Scott Steiner arrives with about six chicks.

Disco Inferno comes out to complain about not getting to face Brian Christopher tonight. He’s going to issue an open challenge for later but for now he’s jumping in on commentary. They banter for a few minutes.

Kronik vs. Native Blood

No idea who the jobbers are here but they’ve got an Indian gimmick. Kronik (Adams and Clark) destroy the jobbers before the bell, then proceed to destroy them after the bell. They pound on each other on the floor, followed by a full nelson shove down to the fat Indian in the ring. Now Clark pounds away as this is going badly already. A release Rock Bottom puts the less fat Indian guy. Native Blood comes back with a double dropkick on Clark, so Adams comes in with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Clark hits the Meltdown (pump handle powerslam) for two and High Times (double chokeslam) ends one of the jobbers.

Rating: D-. This was a five minute squash. What in the world are we supposed to get out of something like this? Clark and Adams had a horrible run for about a week in WWE and this is more or less the last time anyone say them. The jobbers were exactly what their names suggest: there to get beaten up. Nothing to see here and it was sloppy on top of that.

Terry Taylor talks to one of the midgets and it’s that idiot Puppet from TNA. This turns into a rendition of God Bless America.

Girls dance.

Tio vs. Puppet

They’re hardcore midgets (Yeah I know. I’m not always politically correct. Get over it) and they start fighting on the ramp. Madden keeps cracking jokes that the crowd can hear so the audience is laughing during violence. Tio puts Puppet in a garbage can and beats on him with a chair. Puppet is down on the ground and Tio actually goes up top for a splash to the floor. That gets two on the floor because this is a hardcore match.

They head inside as Disco and Madden are riffing on the match like crazy. Puppet comes back with a powerslam for two followed by a Jackhammer for the same. A guy that looks like Rikishi yells at Puppet from the front row as the place is silent other than when Madden cracks a joke. Puppet hooks a reverse Boston Crab (Tio is in the regular position but Puppet is shoving Tio’s legs forward instead of pulling back on them) which doesn’t last that long.

Tio comes back with middle rope punches and a middle rope rana….which gets two for Puppet for some reason. Tio sends him into a trashcan but misses a Swanton off the top. They head to the stage with Puppet pulling out a bag of thumbtacks. A Death Valley Driver onto said tacks ends Tio.

Rating: D+. I usually hate these things but this one at least seemed like they were trying. Puppet would go on to be VERY annoying in TNA, making Horny seem like the most entertaining character in years. This wasn’t much of a match, but at least they had some effort and some of the jokes weren’t bad.

Immediately after the pin, here’s Scott Steiner to destroy both guys. Steiner runs his mouth for a bit and grabs Disco Inferno for a match.

Disco Inferno vs. Scott Steiner

Total dominance by Steiner that ends with the Steiner Recliner in about two minutes. Disco got in as much offense as a career comedy character would on a big name power guy.

Cruiserweight Title: Juventud Guerrera vs. Psychosis vs. Eddie Guerrero

Psychosis won the title at a house show since the last PPV. The mic is broken so we hear “ladies and gentlemen” about six times before the entrances get going, and even then they have to go very fast to catch up with the wrestlers. They grab a three way lockup to start and everybody hits everybody else. This is one fall to a finish. Eddie sends Juvy to the floor but Psychosis sends them both out there and hits a big flip dive to take them both out.

Back in and Juvy gets two off a top rope spinwheel kick on the champ. The camera work continues to SUCK as it’s all over the place, which is weird when there are only three people to watch. Psychosis misses a charge into the corner and the sound when he hits the post is SICK. Juvy gets two off a super rana on Eddie before walking into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Eddie hits a brainbuster on Psychosis for two before getting thrown to the floor.

The luhadores fight in the ring with Juvy getting two off a facebuster. Guerrero gets back in and gets chopped against the ropes by the champ. He comes back with a suplex on Psychosis as this keeps going all over the place. To say there’s not much chemistry here is an understatement. Juvy kicks Eddie low to break up a German suplex as the match continues to slow down.

Guerrera heads to the floor as Psychosis works on Eddie’s leg. Juvy comes back in and drops a leg for two. The crowd is DEAD for this. The guys keep stumbling from spot to spot and there’s no flow or story in this match at all. Eddie gets double suplexed to the floor and Juvy hits Rey’s sitout bulldog for two. Eddie avoids a double dropkick and everyone is down.

Psychosis gets put on top by Eddie but Juvy superplexes Guerrero down. Psychosis legdrops both guys but both challengers save the other. Juvy bulldogs both guys for two each and gets the same on Psychosis off a DDT. Eddie decks Guerrera, shoves Psychosis off the top and hits the Frog Splash on the champ for the pin and the title.

Rating: D. This was AWFUL. There was zero chemistry here at all and the match wasn’t entertaining. I don’t know if it was rust from Eddie or that Juvy and Psychosis turned into hacks once they left WCW and stopped caring, but this was a terrible match. Eddie would be back in WWE in like two months anyway and would never lose that title.

Eddie rips on the fans for chanting WHAT post match. He rants about his personal issues until Jerry Lynn comes out to complain. Lynn would be another guy that has more business in the main event than Christopher by the way. They argue and then brawl. Both guys came off as heels here, with Eddie getting on the fans and Jerry making fun of Eddie for being a drug addict. Lynn survives a beating and takes Eddie out.

More dancing chicks.

Sabu vs. Devon Storm

No DQ, because neither guy is seemingly capable of doing a regular match. Sabu works on the arm to start in a token wrestling sequence. Storm (called Chris, his real first name, by Borash) hits a German suplex on Sabu but the Arabian from Michigan hits a springboard leg lariat. They head to the floor to get to the part that they’re on the card for. They load up the steps and Storm tries to suplex Sabu off of them, but Sabu lands on the ropes and falls back onto the steps. This is getting bad already.

Back in and Sabu is bleeding and in control. There’s the camel clutch and Storm looks asleep. Sabu lets go, allowing Devon to come back with a headscissors and legdrop (popular move tonight) for two. A northern lights suplex gets two more for Storm and we hit the chinlock. After more boring stuff they head to the floor for Air Sabu against the barricade.

Fonzie (Sabu’s manager) loads up a table but Storm drops Sabu onto the barricade. He drops him onto the steps as well as this keeps going. Storm tries a sunset bomb over the top and through the table. Instead, Storm’s foot hits but doesn’t break the table and Sabu doesn’t hit the table at all. Storm (called Crowbar here) breaks up an Asai Moonsault attempt through the table but gets caught by a legdrop back inside.

The first chair is brought in and goes upside Storm’s head. Air Sabu hits in the corner and Storm lands on the chair. Storm breaks up the Triple Jump Moonsault by sending Sabu face first into the chair. A Death Valley Driver onto the chair has Sabu mostly dead but it only gets two. A splash gets the same for Devon and there’s a slam onto the chair. Storm hits a slingshot flipping legdrop onto the chair onto Sabu’s face for two.

We head to the floor again because why not do it, and there’s a pescado by Storm. Storm hits a splash off the apron and drops Sabu onto the barricade (it only took two tries to get it right). Back in the ring Sabu blocks a powerbomb onto two chairs and hits a suplex onto the chairs instead. Arabian Facebuster with the chair hits….and there’s no cover. Sabu goes up and Storm pelts a chair at him.

Fonzie sets up another table, this one up against the barricade. Storm is placed against the table and according to the first law of wrestling, Sabu misses the dive through it. Back in and Storm hits a Mindbender (front suplex) for two. FOR THE LOVE OF FREAKING GOODNESS END THE MATCH ALREADY! A frog splash gets two more for Storm and the go up again because this hasn’t gone on enough. Sabu counters a belly to back superplex into a cross body for two.

They go up top for like the 84th time and Sabu shoves him off for no apparent reason. Sabu tries a rana but Storm counters into a rollup….AND FREAKING FONZIE PULLS THE REFEREE OUT. Sabu dives on both of them again and hits a something back in the ring. No idea what it was because the stupid camera angle missed it, but apparently it was beautiful according to JB. Considering JB booked this show, I have a feeling he’s lying. Fonzie hits Sabu in the head with the most clearly choreographed chair shot by mistake and Storm rolls him up for the win at TWENTY MINUTES AND THIRTY EIGHT SECONDS.

Rating: S. As in Seven. As in Seven People. As in Steve Austin, Chris Jericho, Hulk Hogan, HHH, Undertaker, Shawn Michaels and Brock Lesnar. These are the seven people that the WWE felt were capable of having one on one matches this long on PPV (and two of them were inside the Cell). Think about that. Guys like the Rock, Benoit, Angle, Edge and Rey Mysterio weren’t trusted with matches that long, but SABU AND DEVON STORM WERE??? This match alone brings the whole show down at least a letter.

Post match, Sabu puts Storm through a table off the big screen, because this hasn’t gotten enough time yet.

The West Hollywood Blondes do gay things because that’s funny right?

Here’s LARRY FREAKING ZBYSZKO with something to say. Larry talks about the only interesting thing he did as a wrestler ever: feuding with Bruno back in 1980. Then he talks about his career back in 1972, because EVERYONE wants to hear about this. Oh apparently Vince sucks. That’s what this is about: Vince sucks. Jericho is called too short to be believed as a world champion and he wants to fight Vince in a match. Larry rants some more and I just don’t care. ANOTHER ten minutes plus wasted here.

West Hollywood Blondes vs. Rick Steiner/Ernest Miller

Miller says if they lose to the girly men, he’ll kiss Madden in a fat area. Since they wasted so much time with Bret talking about hockey, Larry wasting our time, and SABU GETTING TWENTY FIVE MINUTES TOTAL, this lasts a minute with Miller kicking Lenny in the head for the pin.

Miller yells at Madden post match but there’s only one match left so I don’t care. Granted I didn’t care anyway but now I’ve got a reason to.

WWA World Title: Brian Christopher vs. Jeff Jarrett

I’ve complained about Christopher enough so far. Christopher makes gay jokes about Jarrett to start but says he wants to death. Jarrett tosses him around to start and there’s the strut. Christopher comes back with a clothesline to send Jeff to the floor….and then he lowers his pants. A neckbreaker puts Jarrett right back on the floor as we’re firmly in a Memphis formula: do a move, play to the crowd a lot, then do another move and play to them more.

They fight into the crowd, and by fight I mean punch once and walk a lot, and we lose track of them. Brian gets a drink thrown in his face and Jeff chokes him a bit. We finally get back to ringside with Brian shaking off everything that’s been done to him so far. A charge misses in the corner and Brian gets crotched. Naturally, Jarrett poses. A cross body gets two for Brian and it’s off to a sleeper from Jeff.

After nearly two minutes of that, Brian hooks his own sleeper for a few seconds. A kick puts Jeff down and an enziguri (clearly missing by about six inches) gets two. Tornado DDT gets two more and they head to the floor. Brian superkicks a referee by mistake and we head back in. Christopher “hits” a guillotine legdrop for two from a replacement referee…and the referees start fighting. Jeff wins with a guitar shot and Stroke on the belt (there was a referee brawl in between the moves).

Rating: D. Standard match that really was a big brawl with some wrestling moves thrown in. In other words, the WCW main event formula minus five run-ins. Christopher was never believable as a main event threat here because HE’S FREAKING BRIAN CHRISTOPHER. Nothing to see here but it was probably the best match of the second half of the show.

Overall Rating: F-. There was a good opener and those guys are all exempt from what I’m about to say. Actually so are the midgets because they were at least trying. THIS SHOW SUCKED! If someone doesn’t show up, that’s understandable. It’s not optimal but it happens.

That being said, USE YOUR FREAKING HEADS and don’t put a comedy tag team wrestler in the world title match when you have names like Jerry Lynn, Sabu, Eddie Guerrero, Rick Steiner (yes, even he would be better), Scott Steiner, or even Nova because he won the opener available to go out there and be MUCH more believable as a threat to Jarrett.

No, instead we had Sabu and Devon Storm using the same spots (count the splashes by Storm) and blown spots all over the place (count the botches in the twenty minute monstrosity) and a minute long match between a random pair of WCW guys with zero history at all and Bret Hart rambling about being a North American and Larry wanting to fight Vince. Eddie coming in was kind of a big deal, but his match SUCKED because Psychosis and Juvy both dogged it all night. NOTHING to see here after the opener and this promotion is in big trouble.

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2 comments

  1. Mayonnaise Warrior says:

    How BIZZARE would you say Bret’s promo was on the British Bulldog BIZZARE meter?

    klunderbunker Reply:

    8 or so.