Date: January 17, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Todd Keneley, Tazz, Mike Tenay
Tonight is about the wedding of Bully Ray and Brooke Hogan. For those of you that haven’t followed Impact Wrestling for awhile, you did indeed read that properly. Also we get to deal with the fallout from Genesis as we now have about two months before the next three hour PPV in Lockdown. Odds are we’re not going to really start building up to that for awhile yet. Let’s get to it.
The opening recap opens things up while recapping them.
Ray is getting his tuxedo ready and seems happy. Spike Dudley comes in (complete with taped glasses) and is followed by Tommy Dreamer. Apparently they’re his groomsmen.
Some Knockouts are Brooke’s bridesmaids. It’s not clear if Hulk is going to be there or not.
Here’s Hardy to open the show. He talks about retaining at Genesis and surviving against all odds. Hardy says he does what he does for the people and he’ll keep fighting for them forever. 2013 is going to be the year of Jeff Hardy so bring on the fights. This brings out Daniels and Kaz to talk about Daniels’ title shot next week which he won by beating Storm on Sunday. Daniels does his usual name jokes but Hardy wants to fight right now. Hardy gets beaten down until Storm runs in for the save. If you can’t figure out what this sets up, go read something else.
James Storm/Jeff Hardy vs. Bad Influence
Actually it starts right now. It’s a brawl to start with Jeff diving on both opponents as we take a break. Back with Storm vs. Daniels before it’s quickly off to the champion. Storm comes back in after about half a second to start working on the arm. Daniels rams him into the corner so Kaz can choke away like a good heel would. Bad Influence (I’m really not feeling that name and it’s barely ever used) takes their turns on Storm as we’re waiting on the big hot tag to Jeff.
Storm finally hits a Russian legsweep and makes the aforementioned hot tag, hitting a running clothesline off the apron to take Daniels down. Everything breaks down and Storm hits Closing time on Daniels. He dives over the top at Chris and hurts his own knee in the process. Kaz escapes the Twist and rakes Hardy’s eyes to set up a small package for two. Hardy grabs a VERY sloppy Twist for the pin at 12:00.
Rating: C. Really basic tag match here which didn’t do anything of note. The smart thing to do here would be to have Daniels pin Hardy via cheating of some kind but instead they just had things go like usual. The Twist at the end was pretty sloppy too which didn’t help anything. I’m also not sure what Storm is getting out of this but maybe it’s too early to say.
Daniels blasts Hardy in the back and hits Angel’s Wings on the belt.
The Gut Check guys talk about the match last week.
Joseph Park gives Ray some Cuban cigars that may or may not be legal. He also asks about a prenup and gives a thumbs up or down. Ray: “OUT!” Funny stuff.
Time for Gut Check. Apparently only one guy gets to go to the judges and that’s Jay Bradley (meaning Brian Cage goes home). Tazz says no, so Jay gives a decent speech saying he’s earned this shot. Snow says yes, Bruce says yes, he gets a contract. Why this is supposed to be interesting I’m not sure.
Christian York vs. Kenny King
This is fallout from King’s attack on York that likely cost him the title on Sunday. York dives onto King to start and beats on him on the floor before heading back inside for a clothesline. Christian pounds away in the corner and hits a bunch of kicks to King’s face. This is one sided so far. King fires off a kick but York immediately comes back with a suplex. He loads King into the Rack to do what King did to him on Sunday, but Kenny rakes the eyes and rolls York up with a handful of trunks to win at 2:52. King’s offense consisted of an eye rake, a kick and a rollup.
Ray asks Sting to talk to Hulk for him. Sting says he’ll try.
Aries antagonizes Roode for not winning the title before saying the arguing makes no sense. The slanting isn’t in their favor and Aries is tired of it. Apparently they’re crashing the wedding.
Taz goes to the back to help set up for the wedding.
Hulk is in the parking lot and the cameraman asks him if he’s here for the wedding tonight. Hulk says nothing other than saying get the camera out of his face.
Taz comes in to Bully’s room and they make fun of Heyman a bit. Dreamer asks about Hogan but Ray says he’s marrying Brooke as long as his guys are here with him.
We recap the Ray/Hogans stuff.
Here’s Sting to ask Hogan to come out and talk about the wedding. Hogan says he doesn’t trust Bully because in wrestling, everyone stabs everyone in the back. He wants an explanation from Sting on why he trusts Bully. Sting talks about all of the times that Ray has saved them but Hogan says he has a bad feeling about this and he’ll never trust Bully Ray. Sting says Hulk needs to do this for himself and Brooke. Hulk says he’ll do the right thing. Brother.
Gail Kim talks to Taryn Terrell and explains how she cost Gail the gauntlet match on Sunday. Apparently Brooke has given Gail a rematch against Velvet, making the whole thing on PPV completely pointless.
We get clips of Bully Ray at a strip club for his bachelor party.
Gail Kim vs. Velvet Sky
Winner gets a title shot at some point. I’m digging Velvet’s new curly hair. Velvet sends her to the floor to start as we’re not exactly in a fast gear early on. A sunset flip gets two for Velvet so Gail kicks her in the ribs to take over. A neckbreaker gets two for Kim and Velvet gets the same off a snap suplex. Sky can’t hit a bulldog so Gail dropkicks her down. Eat Defeat hits but Velvet gets a foot under the rope at two. Now the bulldog hits as does a headscissors. A kind of spinning X-Factor takes down Gail and In Yo Face gets the pin at 5:54.
Rating: D+. I don’t care. I’ve tried for months now and I just do not care about the Knockouts at all. They’re mostly gorgeous, they have good outfits on, and I do not care anything at all past that. The same girls have been having the same matches and feuds for years now and I do not care at all. The match was the usual stuff.
Dixie and Brooke have a girl moment.
It’s 9:30 and with nothing else to go, it’s time for the wedding???
We recap Daniels and Hardy earlier.
Here are Aries and Roode to complain about life in general. They say there should be a celebration about the two of them because without the two of them, there wouldn’t be a show. They complain about not having respect despite being champion for almost all of last year. Aries points out how all of the champions in TNA used to be big deals….ten years ago. This brings out Chavo and Hernandez, complaints are made, Mexican food jokes are made, a brawl breaks out and the champs clear the ring. Ok so the wedding only gets twenty minutes. That’s WAY better.
Hogan and Sting are STILL talking. Sting suggests that maybe Brooke can see something Hogan can’t.
It’s wedding time. Ray is in a tux which is weird to say the least. The groomsmen come out with the bridesmaids (looking GOOD tonight) and here’s Brooke. Hulk finally comes out (setting a record in getting into a tuxedo) to a big ovation. The fans tell Hulk to shake Bully’s hand. They get through a LONG intro from the minister and saying how much they care about each other. No one objects, they both say I do, and Tazz takes the mic from the minister.
Tazz asks if Bully is sure, then says it’s too hot in here. He takes off his jacket, and reveals an Aces and 8’s vest. The big brawl ends the ceremony and show. Brooke gets kidnapped again as Ray takes a pedestal to the face
Overall Rating: C-. The question coming into this show wasn’t would there be a swerve in the wedding but rather what would the swerve be. As for what we got…..eh. It’s still someone else that doesn’t really change anything, so who cares? Other than that though, there wasn’t much here. They did a good job of hyping up the world title match next week, but other than that there wasn’t much going on here. This was ALL about the wedding, which is ok, but if you’re not into that storyline, go watch something else. TNA has run into that problem before and while it isn’t as bad as it’s been in the past, they’re getting close to it.
James Storm/Jeff Hardy b. Bad Influence – Twist of Fate to Kazarian
Kenny King b. Christian York – Rollup with a handful of trunks
Velvet Sky b. Gail Kim – In Yo Face
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