Shimmer Volume 29: It’s International Women’s Day So Here’s Some Women’s Wrestling That Doesn’t Suck

SHIMMER Volume 29
Date: April 10, 2010
Location: Eagles Club, Berwyn, Illinois
Commentators: Dave Prazak, Portia Perez

This is Shimmer, which is supposed to be all caps but that gets annoying quickly so screw it. This is an all women’s wrestling organization and allegedly pretty good. I’ve never seen it or anything like that so I don’t know what to expect. You might recognize some of the names and I’ll do what I can to let you know who is who. The company records a lot of volumes at once so this is one of four taped in two days. I’m not sure what to expect here so let’s get to it.

Kellie Skater vs. Neveah

Kellie is a heel here and I have no clue who these people are. Neveah is rather attractive. There might be 200 people here and you can clearly hear every word shouted by the girls. That’s not saying it’s bad or anything. It’s just in a small venue. Kellie is from “the most awesomest place ever” and is made of pure adamantium (the stuff Wolverine’s skeleton is made of in X-Men). Ok so she’s awesome. Neveah is pronounced Nuh Vay Uh.

Prazak is already getting on my nerves. Slater is something close to a main event wrestler apparently but hasn’t actually won anything on that level. She also might not be sane. Neveah is a tag worker that’s trying out the singles stuff for the first time. Neveah is ok at best but she’s fairly amateurish with some of her stuff. Perez is just saying what’s going on in the ring, making me think she’s a student of Joey Styles.

Neveah only does basic stuff but this is her first singles match I think so I can understand that to a degree. Skater is called the Rate Tank and I have no idea what that means. The move that Cena calls the Throwback ends it for Skater.

Rating: D. Nothing very good at all here as this would likely have been better as a dark match. It wasn’t horrible I guess but this just never got going. It was a glorified squash and never really got anything going at all. I’ve seen far worse though and this was about on the level of a decent Knockouts match.

Annie Social/Melanie Cruisevs. Pretty Witchin

Pretty Witching are Ariel and Nikki Roxx, more famous as Roxxi of TNA fame. Roxx is still very cute. The team with the more famous name are your faces. Crowd is into Nikki so at least she’s popular. Annie appears to be the shorter one which I’m sure I won’t remember later. The referee gets more heat than the heel team which isn’t good I don’t think. Melanie is really tall and tries for a test of strength with a rather short Ariel.

Neither can slam the other and Roxxi comes in to crank it up a bit. Ariel beats the heck out of Annie who apparently is a manager for the most part. And so much for that as Ariel is getting beaten down fairly well here. Melanie beats the tar out of Ariel here which takes up a good while. Roxx gets the hot tag and can’t hurt Melanie due to insane height. The Voodoo Drop, which is called the Barbie Crusher here, gets the pin on Annie.

Rating: C-. Better match here as the wrestling was of a higher quality. Not a great match or anything but still decent enough.

Some chick named Amber Gertner talks to a British chick named Tenille who has a match with Sara Del Ray and she’s excited. Riveting. There was no point to this at all.

Rachel Summerlyn vs. LuFisto

I’ve heard of both of these girls but I don’t know much about them. LuFisto is a hardcore chick I think. She’s all in pink and has a baby doll with her. Ah ok she’s an anime girl or something. Well ok then. This is more of a fight than a match and apparently Rachel wanted LuFisto to train her but she refused for no apparent reason. LuFisto has a bad back so, showing psychology, Rachel goes after it. LuFisto works the arm and throws on a SICK armbar for the tap.

Rating: C. Very short match here but long enough to see something going on. With psychology from both girls I can’t complain much. This wasn’t even four minutes but it worked pretty well I thought. The submission stuff worked and it’s nice to see someone just go after a body part and hit a quick submission. It’s more realistic and I like it better than way at times.

Jamila Craft vs. Mercedes Martinez

Craft has some kind of weird mask thing going on. Martinez is a big deal apparently and is rather popular. Jamila is the youngest chick to graduate from the Shimmer Academy and this is her debut. Craft does some decent stuff here as this is mainly a mat/technical match here. There’s a nice little story going here as Martinez stays about a step ahead of her by just upping the difficulty a bit each time which is a good thing for the whole rookie idea.

Martinez is kind of a tweener here which isn’t how this started. We hit five minutes for the first match in a good while. Fisherman is countered into a rollup for two for the rookie. And then Craft gets her head kicked off and a Fisherman’s Buster ends it. Solid little match for her debut.

Rating: C+. Considering that was one of the girls’ debut, not bad at all. Martinez didn’t look incredibly great but Craft was solid for a rookie. It was an entertaining match with a bit of a story to it as well. I’d give this a worse rating if it wasn’t for the rookie thing, but that’s one of the better debuts for an 18 year old girl in a mask that I’ve ever seen.

We recap something from the last Volume where a chick hit Allison Danger in the head with a belt to steal a win. I’m guessing this is going to come into play in the next match?

Rayna Von Tashvs. Allison Danger

Tash is very attractive and looks a bit like a call girl. Danger was in ROH for awhile and is in a white mask which she’ll take off for the match. Her brother is the more famous wrestler in their family: Steve Corino. Dang I’m enjoying looking at Rayna. She’s the first girl here to be more about her looks than her in ring work but you need a character like that every once in awhile. Heck look at Cody Rhodes on Smackdown.

Danger talks to the crowd a lot which is kind of funny. Portia leaves because she doesn’t like Danger. She claims she has Ninja Turtles to watch on Tivo, making her my new favorite person here. Kellie Slater, who is apparently Australian, is here as her replacement. Danger hates Portia too apparently. Rayna isn’t much in the ring but I’ve seen worse. I can’t think of anyone off the top of my head but whatever.

She dances a lot before every move which is kind of different. Allison is another big deal here too I’m guessing. She’s treated like one if nothing else. This isn’t much of a match but I’m getting a glorified squash feel to it or there’s going to be an interesting finish involving the other chicks. Yeah this is almost all Allison here. Danger does kind of a reverse facebreaker to end it.

Rating: C-. Again this was just a glorified squash but Rayna is a rookie as well so I’d assume this was also a way for her to get some ring time. This came off pretty well again given the circumstances like this. It was decent enough but Danger looked a bit weak at times, although it was minor.

Danger calls out Portia but we get a promo instead. Portia is so clearly reading off a script but in a cool moment Portia slips up behind her while being on the screen at the same time. Cool idea. Portia’s partner, Nicole stops the referee and they cuff her to the ropes. Some faces come out but that doesn’t work either. Social and Cruise from earlier come down and run interference for the champions (Portia and Nicole). Apparently the cuffing didn’t happen. This would set up a last woman standing match next time which Allison won.

Sassy Stephie vs. Madison Eagles

Eagles is champion of the company by the time this is written so what do you expect here? She gets a welcome back chant which makes me think this is her return match. Eagles is 6’1 and Australian. Yeah that’s all I’ve got. Stephie has an indyish name if I’ve ever heard one. For MMA fans here, Eagles has trained with GSP. That’s kind of cool. Stephie is normally a tag wrestler.

This is a rather sloppy match but I think it’s hard to have a match with such a tall person like Eagles. Madison no sells some stuff and Hulks Up, getting a knee shot for two. Stephie fights back for a bit but walks into a Death Valley Driver into the knee which is called Hellbound. Cool name.

Rating: D+. Probably the weakest of the night so far, but I think this was designed to set up Madison winning the title soon afterwards. The main thing here is that Madison looked a bit weak and only hit a few moves here and there as instead of dominating she got beaten down for a good while before hitting her finisher to end it. That’s not saying it was one big move, but it didn’t work like they wanted to I don’t think.

Sarah Stock is here, more commonly known as Sarita. This is a big return apparently and she wants MsChif, who she’s already beaten. Stock gets a title shot somewhere apparently.

Cat Power vs. Jessie McKay

Cat is, amazingly enough, dressed like Catwoman. Jessie looks like one of the Bellas, but I can’t remember which one. Is there a women’s wrestling farm in Australia? She’s like the fourth chick from there. McKay is rather attractive. Portia is back on commentary. Cat is hot in a different kind of way. Jesse throws a ball of yarn and almost gets it to work. That was uh….short thankfully.

They botch a leapfrog which I think is because Jesse jumped early but I’m not sure. Jesse is very cute but not very good. Power isn’t much better than that though. Jesse gets stuck in the Tree of Woe which is always painful looking, which is the idea so it’s a success. Sunset flip gets two. Who it got two for means little here so I’ll let you guess. Jesse makes a comeback and something resembling a Thesz Press gets two.

Power takes over and works the knee as this is getting more fast paced. And it’s Figure Four time. There’s something awesome about seeing that move all over the place. It just looks awesome and painful every time you see it. Yakuza kick gets two and a really bad looking spinebuster kind of move wins it for McKay.

Rating: D. This never was very good. Both of them felt very messy and kind of all over the place. The girls here came off as pretty unready and it just never worked at all. Jesse however is very cute and in a good way. She’s not a serious character but she’s one of the kind of girls that isn’t supposed to be.

Tenille vs. Sara Del Ray

Tenille is reminiscent of Kelly Kelly and Del Ray is a legend here and more or less a killer. Tenille is ANOTHER Australian. Not a bad thing but just kind of weird. Tenille was trained in CALGARY…..wait for it….wait for it….wait for ALBERTA CANADA! Del Ray is pure heel here and looks ticked off about being here, but in a good way. Tenille is the partner of Jesse in the last match, which fits really well.

This is all Del Ray as she’s clearly just toying with her. Sara kicks her head off as we hit five minutes. Shimmer does the counting of how long we’re at in the match. I’m not sure if I’m a fan of that or not. Sara gets this painful choke on where she crosses Tenille’s arms, pulling them back and bends Tenille over her knees. Painful but it doesn’t work.

In something I like, Tenille just starts throwing punches. Sara is in trouble and takes a Christian reverse DDT which is a cool move. Del Ray misses a kick and hurts her knee. Tenille goes up and nearly falls off, getting a dropkick for two. Weird looking leg lock where Tenille is in a Matrix move, making me wonder why Sara doesn’t hit her in the stomach but whatever. And then the Royal Butterfly, a delayed butterfly suplex, ends it.

Rating: C+. Better than I expected here as instead of just a token comeback Tenille got in some solid offense there which I definitely didn’t expect. It’s good to see what appears to be a jobber get close but just fall short, as she looked like she was almost there. Not bad at all and a nice surprise.

After a lot of replays, Madison Eagles says she could win the Shimmer Title.

Misiak iOhata vs. Daizee Haze

Haze is more or less a legend in Shimmer and I have no idea who Ohata is. The legend is a hippie. Ok then. Ohata gets streamers thrown at her, which is some kind of tradition I believe. Nice backflip into a Boston Crab by Haze. This is almost all mat based submission stuff and is bordering on an MMA style fight. I’m still not sure if I like Portia or not. Her voice is grating at first but it grows on you. She’s also a heel so it works out well in the end somehow.

This is a very different kind of match and I’m liking it so far. Haze gets two on a cradle and is PISSED that it didn’t work. She gets all aggressive here which is different for her. They do about five standing switches but Ohata comes out with the German for two. Ohata gets all fired up and Portia thinks she’s going up top. Gee you think? Was it the climbing the ropes that gave it away?

They crank it up again and there’s a Heart Punch, although wouldn’t the boob block that? It doesn’t matter anyway as Ohata gets a fast rollup for the pin. Daizee goes nuts afterwards and beats up Ohata, turning heel. Her student from earlier, Craft, comes out but she and Ohata both get beaten up.

Rating: B. Very fun and fast paced match here which wasn’t like anything you would see on this show. This was a good match and based more on striking and leverage, which isn’t something you see that often. I really liked this one although it took about two hours to get here, which isn’t a very good sign.

Tomoka Nakagawa vs. Ayumi Kurihara

I know nothing about these girls other than they are Japanese and female. Well my biggest criticism is a lack of puro so here you go. Well kind of at least. This has a 45 minute time limit and considering we have this and one other match to go with over 45 minutes to go in the show, I’d bet on a long one here. Ayumi is in red and Tomoka is in green. Yeah I likely won’t remember that.

The announcers talk about how they’re bringing Joshi here which is interesting if nothing else. These are both very small girls so I’d expect a fast paced match. Tomoka is definitely the heel here as she is being far more aggressive and even bites the hands of Ayumi. Ayumi goes to the legs which makes sense as both are speed girls. Nakagawa grabs the hair and twists it around multiple times. FREAKING OW WOMAN.

A lot of back work by the heel chick follows. Ayumi makes a comeback and works the right arm, which still looks weird. SICK sounding enziguri and Nakagawa takes over again. Fisherman’s suplex, which is Tomoka’s finisher gets two of course. I often wonder what the point of a finisher is if it hardly ever finishes anyone but whatever.

They slug it out and Ayumi gets a Codebreaker. I’m glad they call the moves the more famous names. It doesn’t matter who came up with it or who named it whatever. It’s more famous as the Codebreaker and more people are going to know it as that. More LOUD kicks to the head and we switch control again. We slug it out again and a rollup gets two for Ayumi. They crank it up again and Ayumi gets an exploder suplex out of nowhere for the pin. Nice ending I think.

Rating: B. This should likely be a bit lower but it’s slightly better than a B- to me. I liked the back and forth aspect of this match a lot as both girls were fairly evenly matched. This was also a great example of how to get the crowd against you with some very basic stuff like just being a witch. Nakagawa did just that and came off like a heel in this, which is what made her losing that much better. Nice fast paced match that went back and forth.

We recap the Canadian Ninjas winning the tag belts at Volume 26 where they beat Ashley Lane and Neveah.

Tag Titles: Canadian Ninjas vs. Cheerleader Melissa/Mschif

Mschif is the Shimmer Champion and Melissa is more famous as Raisha Saed and Alissa Flash in TNA. The Canadian Ninjas are Portia Perez and Nicole Matthews. Cool team name if nothing else. This is a dream tag match I guess as it’s two singles wrestlers against the tag champions. Simple but effective and works most of the time. Mschif is cute in a weird way. According to Wiki she’s also a geneticist. Ok that’s just awesome.

The Ninjas say they won’t wrestle until everyone is quiet. Sounds like school. That doesn’t happen and MsChif vs. Nicole starts us off. Nicole, a ninja, gets followed around by Mschif in a funny spot. Both tag out and I’m thinking Portia is the better of the ninjas. Melissa is another legend here so the dynamic is certainly there. Perez has missed back to back shows with an alleged case of swine flu. Well at least they’re thinking for the angles.

Cheating is fun and works for Portia to take over. Naturally as soon as I type that Melissa is controlling again. Nicole shouts GO AFTER HER KNEE so Melissa steals the advice. Nicely done there too. On the floor Melissa picks up Portia and swings her into Nicole to ram her into the barrier in a cool looking sequence. This has been mostly dominance by the challengers so far.

And look: cheating works again. Melissa has been in there for a very long time. There’s the tag finally and Mschif….well I guess you could say she’s cleaning something. It’s certainly not a house. Despite being champion, Mschif is having some issues here. Portia stomps on her face and shouts to the crowd “do I suck now???” “YES!” That was comical. We hit the fifteen minute mark and everyone is down.

Double hot tags and we’re getting close to the ending methinks. Quick tag to MsChif which might have been stupid and there goes the referee. I think I know where this is going. Never mind as a superkick into a German suplex pins the Shimmer Champion and the Ninjas retain. Post match beatdown ensues and Allison Danger runs out for the save to end the show.

Rating: B-. Decent tag here although it was kind of lacking something. The champions retaining clean is always a good thing as it lets them look dominant and legit. This was pretty good I think but at the same time the challengers came off as being a bit too weak, which for a dream team isn’t the best idea. This was good for a main event though and felt like a big match.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a good show but it’s not for everyone. The thing is that just about any show this company puts on is going to have the same justifications and reasoning as any other for the most part. If you’re a fan of women’s wrestling and hate the Divas and Knockouts, this is for you.

 

 

The women here are legitimately respected and only one is based around sex. This is women’s wrestling, not women wrestling if that makes sense. The girls are legit athletes and clearly know what they’re doing. It’s a very nice change of pace from the mainstream stuff that is just awful for the most part.

 

 

That being said, just like WWE or TNA there are some on here that aren’t very good at all but there are some that are definitely worth checking out. If you’re a fan of this kind of wrestling, check out any if not all of the volumes. The only real criticism I have is the length.

 

 

It’s two hours and fifty minutes and some of the stuff just comes off as pointless filler. If they shaved off about thirty to forty minutes and of course dropped the price to match the loss of action, this would be ranked higher. I see why they would do it this way though and it’s certainly good stuff for the most part. Recommended, if nothing else as proof that there is good women’s wrestling out there.

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4 comments

  1. Annonymous says:

    How crowded was the event?

    klunderbunker Reply:

    Not very much if I remember correctly.

  2. Eric says:

    True story, I taught at a Hebrew School with Rayna Von Tosh (not her real name obviously).

  3. Jabroni Joe says:

    Just to let ya know, Tenille is now more famous as that bad dancing chick in NXT, Emma.