Impact Wrestling – May 30, 2013: The Aces and 8’s Hour

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 30, 2013
Location: USF SunDome, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz, Todd Keneley

We’re finally at the go home show for Slammiversary but there are actually a few things to get through tonight. We have a six man tag between Sting and Joseph Park partners vs. Aces and 8’s, as well as finding out which “big” free agent TNA has signed. The problem with that is Dixie Carter has called many people a big signing over the years so it’s hard to take her at her word anymore. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s show with Bully saying he still loves Brooke and Styles still being neutral.

Bully is with Aces and 8’s, saying tonight is about AJ Styles. Ray leaves and Anderson lays out D’Lo Brown for not being angry enough I guess.

Here are the former Dudley Boys to open things up. On Sunday it’s Sting vs. Ray and Joseph Park vs. D-Von for the respective titles. Sting wanted no holds barred and that’s exactly what he got. Ray talks about the legends that Sting has beaten, such as Flair, Hogan and Angle. Oh and Sting beat Jeff Hardy but Ray has too. The difference is Ray took Hardy out of action like he’ll do to Sting at Slammiversary. However, Ray wants the tag match NOW.

Bully Ray/D-Von vs. Joseph Park/Sting

It’s a big brawl to start with Sting ramming D-Von into whatever metal objects he can find. The brawling on the floor continues for about two minutes with nothing of note happening. Ray rams Joseph’s hand into the steps before climbing into the ring. Sting looks up at him and the in ring part of the match finally begins. They throw a few punches and it’s a double clothesline to put both guys down as we go to a break.

Back with D-Von working over Park until Joseph gets in a shot and goes up. Ray crotches him to stop any momentum before coming in and dropping an elbow for two. Off to D-Von for some Hogan posing as Park lays on the mat. Back to D-Von for a jumping back elbow before Ray comes in for a pretty awesome looking dropkick. Park finally gets over for a tag and Sting starts cleaning house.

Sting loads up the Scorpion on D-Von and Park tries one on Ray, only to be kicked into Sting to break the hold. Sting takes both guys down clotheslines but misses a Stinger Splash in the corner. The reverse 3D takes Sting down and the bikers load up What’s Up, but Abyss’ music hits. The distraction lets Sting hit the Scorpion Death Drop on D-Von for the pin at 13:28.

Rating: D+. This didn’t do anything for me for the most part. I do like the idea of putting two feuds into one match though as it’s a great way to free up space for later in the night. However, the match didn’t work when neither feud is anything interesting at all, which is the case here. You can barely even say that Park and D-Von are feuding as they’ve only been interacting for a few weeks. Sting vs. Ray is the filler main event of the year, which is a bad idea when you only have four PPVs a year. Not terrible here but very pedestrian.

Kurt Angle will be watching AJ’s match very carefully.

Dixie Carter comes out to say that we’ll induct a new member into the Hall of Fame on Sunday. The fans will all be cheering for Sting in the title match….but here are Aces and 8’s to disagree. Garrett says that Sunday is going to be more like a funeral but here are Joe and Magnus for the save. Joe doesn’t know who gave Garrett a chance to speak, but instead of talking let’s fight right now.

Samoa Joe vs. Garrett Bischoff

Joe pounds away and hits the corner enziguri as we go to a break. Back with Joe being tripped up by Doc, drawing in Magnus for the save…..and the DQ when Garrett goes to the floor to beat him down. The bell rang at about 5:40 but about four minutes of that was in a commercial.

Post match Joe says that it’s a six man on Sunday with Jeff Hardy making his return.

Storm says he picked Gunner because he’s a beast who has killed people for our country.

Hulk yells at Brooke about being suckered in by what Bully said. Hulk: “When he looks at you like that, it’s permission to rape your life.” Apparently Hogan is betting everything he has on Sting on Sunday, pretty much guaranteeing Sting loses.

Austin Aries/Bobby Roode/Bad Influence vs. James Storm/Gunner/Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez

Gunner and Daniels start things off with Gunner running him over with a back elbow. A backdrop puts Daniels on the floor where Kaz has a quick consultation. Back in and it’s off to Aries who is rather tentative to face Gunner. He’s so worried about it that he tags in Bobby before making any contact. All of Roode’s partners are on the floor so he has to do this on his own, which include charging into a boot to the face before it’s off to Chavo.

Hernandez gets the tag maybe ten seconds later to hit a splash before bringing Chavo right back in. Chavo hits Three Amigos but is sent to the floor very quickly to give the heels their first control. Aries comes in with a slingshot splash to Chavo before it’s off to Kaz for a chinlock. Daniels misses a splash in the corner though, allowing for the hot tag to Hernandez.

All of the heel team tries their luck with SuperMex but he runs them all down, only to have Kaz break up the Border Toss. Aries hits a sweet running dropkick in the corner to slow Hernandez down but Austin is suplexed down to counter the brainbuster. Gunner tags himself in and no sells a discus lariat before putting Aries in the Torture Rack for the submission from Aries at 9:30.

Rating: C-. If they don’t change the titles on Sunday, just retire the things already. There’s nothing interesting about this never ending feud and it’s been boring for months. Adding Gunner and Storm to the thing just makes it more cluttered and keeps Storm from ascending up the ladder even longer. The match was ok but there’s nothing interesting here, which is the tagline for this whole feud.

AJ Styles arrives, causing Bully to go into a massive speech to the Aces. He has a job for Knux and declares war on Impact Wrestling. If there aren’t victims, any member of the team could end up like D’Lo.

Bound For Glory is in San Diego.

Here’s Mickie James to celebrate her title win. She brags about winning and thanks her fans for standing by her, but there are some people doubting the way she won the title. Mickie calls out Velvet to clear the air because they’re friends. Mickie talks about how tough Velvet is and how much she loves her for giving Mickie the shot when she wasn’t 100%. Velvet wants her rematch which Mickie is cool with, but Velvet wants the match at Slammiversary. Mickie says no because there’s already a Knockouts match at Slammiversary.

This brings out Gail to yell at Mickie, claiming that Mickie wouldn’t have won the title without Gail hurting Velvet’s knee weeks ago. Gail has been hurting anyone in her path lately because of how frustrated she’s been. She says she gets the first shot but Velvet gets in her face and says no. Gail goes after the bad leg but Taryn makes the save as Mickie stands around.

Kenny King/Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell/Chris Sabin

Taryn goes nuts on Gail to start and hits a quick neckbreaker to take her down. A high cross body takes Gail down for two before it’s off to the guys. Sabin takes King down and cranks on the arm, only to be clotheslined in the back of the head to give the X Champion (King) control. King misses a slingshot legdrop and gets caught in a spinning DDT for two but everything breaks down. Taryn spears Gail down and Sabin hits whatever his driver is called for the pin on King at 5:00.

Post match Sabin says he’ll win on Sunday but King lays him out. Suicide comes in to clear out both guys and hold up the belt.

Sting talks about all of his title wins over the years.

We run down the Slammiversary card.

Mr. Anderson vs. AJ Styles

Anderson jumps AJ as he comes into the ring but AJ fires off some right hands to come back. Mr. runs him over but gets tripped down and hit with a quick suplex for one. AJ snaps Anderson’s neck on the top rope but keeps looking around for the bikers to run in. Anderson is sent to the floor for a baseball slide as we take a break. Back with AJ not being able to suplex Anderson back in so we head to the floor with AJ being sent into various objects.

Back in and Anderson takes it to the mat with a body scissors and arm lock. AJ fights up and takes Anderson down to shift momentum again. A knee drop gets two but Anderson comes back with the fireman’s carry roll for two. AJ loads up a superplex in the corner but here’s Kurt Angle for the DQ at 13:58.

Rating: C. This was fine but it was too late to save this show. I do like that AJ is wrestling while in this Sting from 1997 period as it keeps him fresh and crisp in the ring. The ending makes sense, but it doesn’t do much for the rest of the show. At the end of the day, it would be ok to have Anderson lose here. Not much of a match but not terrible.

Post match here are the bikers and all of their opponents on Sunday other than Jeff Hardy. Everyone but Sting and Ray clear out and the champ is put in the Scorpion, only to have D-Von make the save and hit 3D on Sting to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. If you don’t like Aces and 8’s, do not watch this show. Literally over half of the TV time this week was dedicated to that single storyline, making for a very tiring episode. The ONLY other stories going on are the three other title matches and none of them have what I would call a strong buildup. This show has become so hard to sit through as the Aces and 8’s story continues to drag on and on. Slammiversary looks good on paper, but the main event feels like nothing but filler, which is very stupid with just four PPVs a year. This show built up the PPV well enough, but man alive stay clear if you don’t like Aces and 8’s.

Results

Sting/Joseph Park b. D-Von/Bully Ray – Scorpion Death Drop to D-Von

Samoa Joe vs. Garrett Bischoff went to a no contest

Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez/Gunner/James Storm b. Bad Influence/Bobby Roode/Austin Aries – Torture Rack to Aries

AJ Styles b. Mr. Anderson via DQ when Kurt Angle interfered

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade for just $4 from Amazon at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D2UKOG0

 

12 comments

  1. Redsox4life says:

    Wow, this show was so boring that the Not Jay guy is not even motivated enough to spam this review with his 20 alter-egos tonight. Mission accomplished, TNA.

    Jay H Reply:

    Spoke too soon because he’s back again. I bet he walks down the street with the Aces/Eights Theme playing on his phone and has his Vest on with it. All the while thinking I am one bad SOB and TNA’s Biggest Mark ever.

  2. Blue Jay-zer(Not Jay wearing a mask to hide his identity) says:

    I don’t know if I can take this anymore. I’m sooooo looking forward to Slamiversary. It’s gonna be sooooo awesome. KB I’ve enjoyed commenting here over the past few months but I may be done with TNA and I’ll just stick to RAW. I’ll be here for Slamiversary but this might be the last time you see the Blue Jay-zer on Thursday nights

  3. "The Cowboy" Not Jay-mes Storm says:

    Ya know, me and A Not Jay Styles were buddies once. But he can’t get it straight. The Not Jay-ces and Eights are scum and the fact that he might join pisses me off. There will be a fight this Sunday! Me vs you A. Not Jay Styles right here in the comments section after KB’s review of Slamiversary. I think you know how I’m gonna end this. But I’m not sorry about yo damn luck, cause this Sunday, June the 2nd, yo luck is about to run out!

    *camera pans to A. Not Jay Styles in the back, with a blank expression, watching the monitor*

  4. Jordan says:

    Slammiversary feels like a filler show and there’s really no excuse for that. I can appreciate the long-term booking TNA is doing these days but getting to the payoff is a chore to sit through.

  5. No Arrendajo(Not Jay as a masked luchadore) says:

    Lo que es un espectáculo horrible, esta noche

  6. Bully Jay(Not Jay as the leader of the Not Jay-ces and Eights) says:

    *entrance music plays* SHUT IT OFF, SHUT IT OFF! DO YOU KNOW WHO WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRE? We are the Not Jay-ces and Eights and this Sunday, right here in the comments section, we will finally destroy TNA once and for all. Not Jay-mes Storm, A. Not Jay Styles will destroy you and end our only resistance! Mark my words, this Sunday, right here in the comments section after KB’s review of Slamiversary on June the 2nd, will be a night you will all nevah forget!

  7. Mouldylocks says:

    I’m honestly starting to think that this Not Jay guy is more entertaining then Impact… I mean the dedication he has….

    Kb you haven’t really commented on this revival of gunners career? Also what happened to Crimson?

    klunderbunker Reply:

    He’s Gunner. There isn’t much to say abotu him as he’s just kind of there. Also it’s TNA, where people come and go at random so I’ll reserve judgment until after he actually does something.

    As for Crimson, the guy just wasn’t that great, especially as a heel. I don’t miss him.

    Mouldylocks Reply:

    True… also who was the big signing? Did I miss it when watching?

    klunderbunker Reply:

    You didn’t. The Tweet was intentionally misleading. it said the signing would rock the summer and you should tune into Impact to see about it. That means tune into Impact over the summer to find out who it is.

  8. Mouldylocks says:

    Well I’m still tuning in to see who kidnapped Samoa Joe… Might be a long wait.