Hardcore Justice 2
Date: July 5, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Jeremy Borash
It’s the third One Night Only show with an odd title. There were three regular PPVs called Hardcore Justice, so how can this be the second one? Anyway the theme of the night is obvious, but the bonus attraction is bringing back people who haven’t performed for the company in a long time, such as Generation Me and Homicide. There are a ton of gimmick matches tonight so let’s get to it.
The opening video is about how the company goes hardcore one night of the year. We get clips of the matches we’re about to watch.
Every match tonight will be some form of a hardcore match.
We get a highlight reel of hardcore moments in TNA’s history.
Disciples of the New Church vs. LAX
This is a street fight. The Disciples are a team from the early days of the company and are comprised of Sinn (Kizarny from about five years ago in WWE) and Slash (member of PG-13, a Memphis tag team). Sinn is in a tie and pink pants and Slash is in something resembling shoulder pads. Homicide starts with Slash (thankfully minus the pads) and the later howls a bit. A jumping back elbow gets two for Homicide as we’re still in the tagging portion of the match. Homicide gets two more off a tornado DDT out of the corner and it’s off to SuperMex.
Off to Slash who is immediately taken down by an over the shoulder backbreaker before being catapulted into a Homicide lariat for two. The Disciples take over on Homicide but Hernandez comes in to clean house as things break down. Hernandez puts on a hard hat for some reason as Homicide bulldogs Slash on the apron. Sinn gets beaten up with a stop sign before being sent back inside by Homicide.
All four guys are back in now and this is a pretty lame street fight. Slash misses a Swanton Bomb and gets choked by Homicide as we get back to the tagging. Homicide gets caught in a reverse FU from Slash but things break down again. Slash is sent to the floor and Homicide lays out Sinn with a Gringo Cutter, setting up a top rope splash from Hernandez for the pin.
Rating: D-. What in the world was this? The street fight portion of this lasted maybe two minutes and the rest was nothing more than a regular tag team match. The Disciples were a bad choice for this as almost no one remembers them and they were pretty terrible in the ring. LAX was a good team in their time but in a bubble like this they were just kind of there.
ODB is ready to get hardcore with Jack……DANG IT JACKIE MOORE IS HERE AGAIN.
Video on Jackie and ODB being hardcore.
Jackie Moore vs. ODB
This is a regular hardcore match. ODB takes her to the floor for some HARDCORE spanking but Jackie chops her back. Jackie brings in a broom and what appears to be Vaseline. ODB comes back with hair mousse down Jackie’s pants. Seriously just go with it. She finds some lipstick and a leather boot under the ring as my head is starting to hurt.
Jackie knocks her down with the boot before choking away with a veil. More broom stick shots to the back keep ODB down but she comes back with some forearms to the face followed by a Bronco Buster. Jackie throws powder in ODB’s face but ODB spits beer (from the flask) in Jackie’s face and the Bam (TKO) gets the pin.
Rating: F. If you need an explanation for this, you fail as a wrestling fan.
Bad Influence says they’re ready for Generation Me in their ladder match for $20,000. Daniels says he’s more of a softcore guy (“That Cinemax style.”) and rhymes a bit about Generation Me.
Bad Influence vs. Generation Me
Ladder match as mentioned and Generation Me are Max and Jeremy Buck. They all shake hands to start but but everyone turns on everyone like true heels should. Generation Me takes over with some quick neckbreakers but Bad Influence takes them down with strikes. We get the first ladders brought in as this is moving very fast so far. Jeremy starts climbing but Kaz pelts another ladder at him for the save. The fans seem to be behind the Bucks as Kaz hits a TKO on Max from the top of the ladder.
Daniels gets backdropped onto a ladder and Kaz gets the same via a monkey flip. A ladder is bridged between the ring and the ladder so Max can spear Kaz down under said ladder. Daniels is dropkicked off the apron onto the ladder but Kaz saves his partner from being splashed through the ladder. Jeremy suplexes Kaz from the apron onto the ladder in a very painful looking landing.
Daniels is stuck in the ring with both Bucks but manages to shove Max off the ladder onto the top rope but Max lands on his feet on the rope and springboards down to take out Kaz. AWESOME bit of balance there. Jeremy goes up but Kaz pops back in with a springboard dropkick to make the save. All of the ladders are down now and a sliding dropkick from Kaz sends Max to the floor. Jeremy makes another save on Daniels by slamming him face first into the mat to put him down. Kaz and Max go up but Daniels throws the Appletini into Buck’s face, allowing Kaz to pull the check down for the win.
Rating: B-. This was the kind of pickup the show needed. Sometimes a good spotfest is the solution to your problems and that’s what we got here. This was also a good example of what happens when you put something on the line in a match like this. The $20,000 isn’t a great prize, but it’s worth more than bragging rights or whatever else you want to say the first two matches were worth. Allegedly Kaz is undefeated in ladder matches in TNA. If so that’s rather impressive.
Preview for the Ten Anniversary next month, which is a celebration of the first ten years of the company.
Joseph Park doesn’t have a match tonight but is glad to be here. He talks about some hardcore matches Abyss had over the years. James Mitchel and Judas Mesias come in and say they’re looking for Abyss for revenge. If Abyss doesn’t show up, Park has to take his place in the monster’s ball match.
We recap the first three matches. Do we really need to do that after less than an hour on the air?
Bad Influence is taking the world over, one Appletini at a time.
Hardcore Gauntlet Battle Royal
Everyone gets to bring a weapon with them and it’s a new entrant every two minutes. Usually in TNA gauntlet matches it’s over the top rope eliminations until the final two when it’s pin/submission but there’s no mention of the rules changing for the final two here. We start with Devon Storm who brings a golf club and Little Guido who brings in a dust bin. They fight over the golf club until Storm suplexes Guido down to take over.
Some golf club shots to the back have Guido in trouble but he comes back with a basement dropkick to take over. Guido puts on a Crossface with the club used to choke Storm until Crimson with his umbrella is #3 (out of nine). Crimson cleans house with the umbrella and a big book to Guido. Storm gets double teamed for a bit until Sam Shaw is #4 with a cane. Shaw spins out of a backdrop from Crimson before taking him down with a dropkick. There’s nothing of note going on at all here.
Johnny Swinger is #5 with a crutch but he’s gone in about 40 seconds at Guido’s hands. Crimson hits Guido with the umbrella and leaves some impressive marks on his back as a result. Funaki of all people is #6 with a guardrail. We get the Terry Funk/Sandman/Tommy Dreamer spinning metal object spot from Funaki and the rail until Funaki superkicks Guido out. Gunner is #7 with a nightstick and the fans chant welcome back, showing the issues with a taped PPV.
Gunner tosses Storm out and hits Shaw in the face with a golf club. It’s 2 Cold Scorpio at #8 with a broom to pop the crowd a bit. Shaw trades forearms with Scorpio but gets monkey flipped out. JB: “Unbelievable!” No, not really. Shark Boy is #9 with a bag ala Jake Roberts. It’s Crimson/Gunner vs. Scorpio/Funaki/Sharky with Scorpio hitting a sunset bomb on Gunner to put him down. A middle rope Harlem Hangover hits Crimson and Funaki goes up as well, only to be tossed by Scorpio and Sharky.
Crimson clotheslines Scorpio out and hit a double chokeslam on Sharky. They start throwing weapons out but they’re afraid of the bag. Both of them look in the bag and freak out, allowing Shark Boy to hit Chummers (Stunner) to both guys. Shark Boy pulls…..a fish out of the bag. The fish “bites” Gunner and a fish shot eliminates Crimson. Sharky backdrops Gunner out for the win.
Rating: D-. Not only was the match boring, but it’s a match that would have fit in the stupid comedy era of the WWF hardcore division. The weapons were all stupid and the fish at the end made it even worse. The “comedy” here was in the vein of beat people over the head and yell IT’S COMEDY in their face, which is my least favorite kind.
Aces and 8’s are ready for their six man tag tonight and don’t care who Storm/Magnus’ mystery partner is.
We recap Bully Ray’s master plan with Aces and 8’s. The amount of time (this runs like 5 minutes) they’re spending on recaps here tells me they were running out of ideas for these marathon PPV tapings.
Aces and 8’s vs. James Storm/Magnus/???
It’s Brisco/Knux/Doc here and this is under hardcore elimination rules. Storm’s surprise partner: Bob “Hardcore” Holly. Holly has a big chest/shoulder tattoo now which screams mid life crisis. He’s in jeans and sneakers here as he starts with Knux and stomps him down in the corner. Off to Brisco who gets kicked between the legs before it’s off to Storm. The fans are more fired up for this match than they’ve been for almost anything tonight.
Storm hits a quick running enziguri in the corner but gets caught in the back by Doc who comes in off a tag. James knocks him down by like a superstar knocking down a big enforcer before bringing in Magnus. They go to the floor for a bit until Magnus gets caught in the wrong corner. Brisco drives shoulders into the Brit’s ribs before it’s off to Doc for right hands. Magnus is crushed by a corner clothesline and it’s back to Knux who gets two off a side slam.
Brisco hooks a cravate followed by a chinlock before it’s back to Doc for a snap suplex. Magnus escapes a chokeslam and a double clothesline puts both guys down. Hot tag brings in Storm to face Brisco as things break down. It’s off to Holly with what looks like a pipe to clean house, only to have Knux hit a big boot to slow him down.
A powerbomb is countered into the Alabama Slam to eliminate Knux but Brisco rolls Holly up for a quick elimination. Magnus blasts Brisco in the head with a trashcan lid and gets a pin off a falcon’s arrow, only to walk into a chokeslam from Doc to get it down to one on one. Doc blasts Storm with the trashcan lid for two but spends too much time boasting, allowing Storm to hit the Closing Time and Last Call for the final pin.
Rating: C. This was nothing of note and I don’t think anyone bought Storm as being in any danger at all. Hardcore Holly as a surprise makes sense on a show like this but he’s a fifty year old man who never meant much of anything in the first place. This was by far and away the second best match of the night so far.
We recap Abyss vs. James Mitchell which is a feud that went on for YEARS. Mitchell is Abyss’ father (no word on if he’s Park’s dad) and brought in Judas Mesias (Abyss’ stepbrother) to attack Abyss with barbed wire. A long blood feud followed.
Joseph Park is in the back and is panicking since no one has seen Abyss.
We get a video on the history of Monster’s Ball, which is TNA’s signature hardcore match.
Mesias vs. Joseph Park
There’s no Abyss so Park has to take his place in this monster’s ball match. Park shoves the much smaller Mesias around and avoids a charge in the corner, only to get jumped from behind and pounded against the ropes. Park misses a charge in the corner and gets taken down by a spear, allowing for the first weapons to come in. Park gets a trashcan lid but gets hit in the stomach with a hockey stick before he can swing it.
They head to the outside with Park’s comeback being stopped cold by a whip into the steps. Back in and Mesias stays on offense with a faceplant, only to miss a top rope splash. Park comes back with some shoulder blocks and puts the trashcan over Mesias’ crotch for a shot with a steel pipe. A chair is wedged between the ropes but Mesias comes back with a trashcan shot to Park’s back for two.
Park hits him low with a cheese grater and gets in some shots with a kendo stick for two. He tries a seated senton onto a chair onto Mesias but gets crotched just in time. Park sends him head first into the wedged chair but the middle rope splash only gets two. A hockey stick shot busts Park’s nose, Abyss mode, Black Hole Slam and pin.
Rating: D. This is another example of how the gimmick can’t save a boring match. There’s no reason for these two to be fighting and the match wasn’t interesting as a result. It was a bunch of weapon shots and an ending gag we’ve seen for months now. Nothing to see here but Park’s act wasn’t getting old when this was filmed.
Post match Park goes after Mitchell but comes back to reality just in time.
Team 3D says they’re reuniting in a tables match tonight against Brother Runt and some mystery partner. It won’t be Dreamer, Sandman or Sabu because they’re either fat, drunk or in a hospital. D-Von does the Dudley Commandments for the first time in years.
Video on people going through tables.
Team 3D vs. Brother Runt/???
Tables match of course. It’s surprising to see Bully as an Ace when that turn wasn’t until months after this was taped. D-Von corners So Cal Val in the corner but doesn’t shove his crotch in her face at least. Bully Ray cuts a long and dull promo before the match about the awesomeness of Tea 3D while insulting a bunch of fans. Ray takes some jabs at Holly for no apparent reason before talking about using Runt as a pawn during the wedding to Brooke. He makes the same jokes about Dreamer and Sandman while saying Runt has no partner. Runt comes out and has a partner: Jeff Hardy.
The Dudleys send Jeff to the floor before Bubba drives Runt’s glasses into his forehead. D-Von beats on Runt with basic power stuff but Runt blocks a suplex, only to be taken down by a clothesline. Off to Ray for a wishbone split before yelling at Earl Hebner in the corner. Ray blocks the Dudley Dog and breaks up a sunset flip attempt but D-Von misses a middle rope headbutt, allowing Runt to make the hot tag.
Jeff cleans house with a low dropkick on D-Von as things break down. Bully kicks Jeff down but the Dudleys can’t hit What’s Up. Instead it’s Runt hitting one on D-Von before calling for the tables. Jeff brings in a table but Team 3D takes over again. A double suplex to Runt misses the table and Jeff hits a Twisting Stunner on D-Von. Runt adds the Dog to put D-Von on the table but Ray makes the save. Jeff and Runt take over again and Hardy splashes D-Von through a table (barely) for the win. It’s as lame of a build as it sounds.
Rating: D. This was nothing to see again with and felt like a bad house show main event. I get the idea of Brother Runt having history with the Dudleys, but we’ve seen this match so many times that it’s almost impossible to care about anymore. Jeff getting the win to end the show is the right idea to send the fans home happy but man it was dull getting there.
Overall Rating: D. This was by far the worst of these shows so far. The only good match was the ladder match with the elimination match being just ok in second place. This came off more like a tribute to the WWF Hardcore Title instead of a tribute to the hardcore division as most of the matches were either lame or comedy matches, with people like Park or ODB not being funny. Nothing to see here at all, but the ladder match isn’t terrible.
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