Impact Wrestling – May 8, 2014: Two At Once!

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 8, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

Slammiversary is looming and Eric Young doesn’t have a challenger yet. The problem with having a champion that defends every week is you quickly run out of fresh matchups, so TNA is either going to have to turn someone or bring someone up the card in a hurry. Other than that we get to see Bully want to put Dixie through a table in about 19 segments tonight. Let’s get to it.

Earlier today Bully Ray was driving to Nashville at the TNA offices to find Dixie Carter, thereby complying with MVP’s wishes to not go after her at the Impact Zone.

We recap Eric Young defending the title every week.

Speaking of Eric, here he is in street clothes to get things going. He talks about how awesome the reign has been but there’s one hiccup. Eric promised to defend the title every week but since MVP hasn’t booked him in a match, he’s going to book himself in one. We have an open challenge for tonight and here’s Bobby Roode.

Bobby goes on a LONG rant about how great he is before Eric says that Roode got a shot last week and got pinned. Roode says it wasn’t fair because he had to wrestle twice last week and goes on another rant about their history together in Team Canada. If Young gives him another shot and wins, Roode will never ask for another match. Young says ok as this segment took about eight minutes longer than it needed to.

MVP tells Young that he can’t do that and suggests Young take a few weeks off. If Young will, MVP guarantees that his opponent at Slammiversary will be someone Young has never faced before.

Madison Rayne/Brittany vs. Beautiful People

Evening Gown match under elimination rules. The Beautiful People are in black and their opponents are in white to make sure the alignment is clear. Velvet and Angelina double team Brittany in the corner to start as they’re actually treating this like a real match so far. Brittany fights up and makes the tag off to Madison who does moves that make sure her skirt flies up. Madison can’t strip Velvet’s gown though, allowing Love to trip Brittany up so Velvet can strip her for an elimination as we take a break.

Back with Madison down 2-1 and getting double teamed. It doesn’t last long though as Madison fights off both girls and is able to quickly strip Velvet to get us down to one on one. Madison has control for a bit until Velvet flashes the referee, allowing Angelina to spray her in the face and get the win at 11:00.

Rating: D+. They looked good, this was barely wrestling, next.

Dixie is in a bad mood and walks away from Spud, who is in a leopard print coat.

We recap Ethan Carter III vs. Kurt Angle.

Bram tells Magnus to become his old self again.

Kurt Angle vs. Ethan Carter III

Angle goes after the arm to start but Ethan backs off. A snap suplex sets up the Rolling Germans to Ethan but Angle falls down holding his bad knee. Angle tries to fight back with a German suplex but the knee is just gone. Ethan gets in a quick chop block and pins Angle at 3:27.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and the injury took up a good chunk of the match. I’ll give them points for keeping Ethan so strong and I kind of like not having Angle beat him with ease. It’s making Ethan look like a much bigger deal which is something TNA really needs to do.

After a break, Angle says he felt the knee pop.

Here’s MVP with something to say. He talks about how demanding this company is and how the fans are even more demanding. However, he can’t have Eric Young making his own matches because wrestlers are supposed to wrestle so TNA can abide. “And hey, the Dude abides right?” MVP says he has a major announcement about who Eric will face at Slammiversary but here’s Bobby Roode to interrupt. Roode says the same stuff he said to Eric and demands the title match tonight. MVP has the same reply that Eric did (you lost last week) and the brawl is on. The fans want to see it but referees break it up.

Bully is in Nashville but Spud says he’s not welcome here. Bully goes into her office anyway, yells at Spud for wearing green socks and sits in Dixie’s chair. He gets on the phone and tells the secretary to get the staff together for a meeting. Oh and a sandwich.

Knux and company are here. Rebel is in a rather revealing outfit and dancing with fire. A wooden crate comes up and Knux says it’s someone’s home.

Roode is ejected by security.

Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. Bro Mans

It’s a ladder match and the challengers (Bro Mans) get a jobber entrance. Zema shoves the ladder over in the aisle to distract the champions, allowing the Bro Mans to jump them from behind with the ladder. Back inside and we get the bell but the Wolves are right there for the save. The Wolves load up the baseball slide into the ladder but the Bro Mans lift it up like a gate. The champions go back inside and set up a double suicide dive, only to hit the ladder faces first.

Jesse drops Davey chest first onto the barricade as the Bro Mans take over. They set up a ladder between the ring and some steps in the aisle but Davey escapes a suplex onto said ladder. All four climb a pair of ladders in the ring and a set of headbutts put all four back on the mat. Jesse makes a save by jumping up the ladder to stop Davey before Eddie suplexes Jesse over the top and out to the floor, only to fall out himself as well. Davey puts Robbie on the bridged ladder for the double stomp from the top as everyone is down again. The Wolves climb up, throw Zema over the top and onto the Bro Mans, and retain the belts at 7:00.

Rating: C+. There were some big spots in there but it’s another gimmick match that doesn’t really mean anything and doesn’t have the time to go anywhere because TNA flies through their shows as fast as they can. Much like the Ascension in NXT though, there aren’t many teams to challenge for the belts now and it’s going to get repetitive watching them beat up the Bro Mans over and over again.

Crazy Steve and the Freak (Rob Terry in a mask) break out of the crate.

Spud has lost Bully Ray.

Kazarian vs. Knux

The Menagerie is a carnival themed stable comprised of Knux, his good looking sister Rebel, two men on stilts, Crazy Steve (a clown) and the Freak (a masked muscle man). Kaz jumps Knux from behind to start but is easily thrown down. He does score with a top rope missile dropkick and a kick to the jaw but stops to yell at Crazy Steve. Kaz turns around and runs into the Freak, allowing Knux to throw him back into the ring. A Sky High powerbomb is enough for the pin on Kaz at 2:16.

Spud goes into the staff’s office and runs down Ray, only to turn around and see Ray behind him. Ray: “Get us a case of beer!” Spud: “It’s 11am!” Ray: “You’re right. Get us two.” Spud leaves and the staff says the new motto is Bully Fears Dixie. Ray has an idea of how to fix this.

As a result of the incidents last week, Anderson faces Storm next week.

Gunner tells Anderson that Storm is lying whenever he talks.

Dixie’s staff is now all drunk and in Bully Ray shirts. Spud panics and gets on the table to calm everything down. Ray says he’ll let Spud have the drones back if he tells Ray where Dixie is. Spud says he doesn’t know so Ray offers to leave if Spud will have one beer with him. Spud drinks it and gets powerbombed through a table. Ray steals his phone and gets Dixie’s address.

Willow talks about getting screwed over in the Dixieland match which started the evolution into what he is now. He wants revenge on Magnus.

Magnus vs. Willow

Willow gets jumped during his entrance as Bram looks on approvingly. A hard elbow drop gets two for the Brit but Willow fights up with a Whisper in the Wind and the flying forearm. The seated dropkick and mule kick put Magnus in the corner but he rolls outside. That’s fine for Willow as he kicks Magnus down and hits that sliding splash. As they head back inside though, Bram sends Willow into the steps for the DQ at 2:32.

Post match Willow is handcuffed to the ropes and attacked with a turnbuckle hook.

Angle has a broken bone in his leg and a torn ACL.

MVP calls out Eric for the announcement of the Slammiversary opponent. The boss asks the fans to cheer for the champ and says there’s nothing Eric can’t accomplish. He says Eric deserves the best competition there is, so here’s the opponent. Eric looks at the stage and MVP lays him out with a chain around his fist. He says he’ll see Eric at Slammiversary to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked tonight’s show for the most part but there are still problems. First of all they are setting up stuff for the future, but at the end of the day it’s still for Eric Young defending against the latest heel power figure. Actually he’s one of two current heel power figures as Ray is off in Nashville chasing after Dixie. That being said, there was some interesting stuff here and some fresh matches, so the good outweighs the bad. I just really hope the MVP stuff doesn’t dominate the show, which is about as stupid of a hope as I can have at this point.

Beautiful People b. Madison Rayne/Brittany – Love ripped off Madison’s dress
Ethan Carter III b. Kurt Angle – Chop block
Wolves b. Bro Mans – Wolves pulled down the belts
Knux b. Kazarian – Sky High
Willow b. Magnus via DQ when Bram interfered
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  1. james gracie says:

    One thing I like is how Eric Young is pretty much the focus of the show. I know you don’t like him but he is the champion and the champion should be in the main story. That is something I wish WWE was doing with Bryan right now.

    M.R. Reply:

    What? Bryan’s all over Raw aside from the shows he missed for personal reasons.

    Cockadoodledoo Reply:

    but he’s not excatly the main part of raw right? not that is his fault

    james gracie Reply:

    Exactly my point. His storyline is not the main storyline right now. I can care less how many ridiculous segments he’s in with Kane

  2. LSN says:

    You mean you “couldn’t” care

    klunderbunker Reply:

    I know you’re referring to James Gracie, but I have to correct this correction a lot, at least when it’s towards me.

    I intentionally say I could care less, because I in fact could. On some very deep level I do care about Impact, meaning I could in fact care less than I do.