ECW on TNN – May 12, 2000: It’s A Hard Road To Heaven

Date: May 12, 2000
Location: University Sports Pavillion, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

It’s the go home show for Hardcore Heaven and there really isn’t all that much set up for the card. We’re getting RVD vs. Lynn and Credible vs. Storm for the title (in theory) but I’m not sure what else we should expect. Knowing ECW I’m sure there will be some impromptu matches because Heyman expects his guys to be insane and get into arguments without a card being necessary. Let’s get to it.

We open with the Sinister Minster and Mikey Whipwreck in the back talking about their usual evil when the cameraman hears something. It turns out that Mikey has lit him on fire because Whipwreck is a weird dude.

Joel does his limerick about debuting in Minneapolis until Dreamer comes out. He can’t say anything though because Simon Diamond comes out to complain about not being taken seriously. Clearly Dreamer has lost his touch and isn’t as hungry as he used to be. You know those are fighting words.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Simon Diamond

They’re almost immediately on the floor and brawling in the crowd as is Dreamer’s custom. Tommy hammers away in the crowd and knocks Simon around like the comedy guy that he is. The Prodigy finally validates his employment by clotheslining Dreamer, only to have Tommy come right back with a suplex. He ties Simon in the Tree of Woe and stands on his crotch in the corner before hitting the running dropkick into a chair onto Diamond’s face. More goons try to interfere so Simon can DDT him down, only to have the referee take a chair away from Diamond. Back up and Dreamer’s DDT is enough for the pin.

Rating: D. So wait, ECW can have traditional rules thrown out the window but when Dreamer is in trouble the referee actually does his job? The match was just there to give Dreamer a win when he’s going into a big match on Sunday. Other than that there’s just nothing here and it’s your traditional ECW TV match.

Jerry Lynn vs. Lance Storm

There must be a winner. Jerry dropkicks him off the apron to start and nails a nice flip dive off the apron for good measure. They head inside for the first time with Lance coming back with a quick superkick and two before throwing on what would become the Canadian Maple Leaf. That goes nowhere as Jerry kicks away and tries a rollup for two, firing off a nice pinfall reversal sequence for some two counts.

Time for a chair because Heaven forbid we get to have something like the good wrestlers wrestling. Lynn kicks it into Storm’s face and nails a tornado DDT onto the chair for two as Dawn Marie offers a distraction. Justin Credible comes in with a crutch and nails Lynn by mistake, giving Storm the fluke pin.

Rating: D+. This was going to be better just based on who was in the match. That being said, there’s only so much you can do with a little under seven minutes and interference included. It wasn’t terrible and at least it helps to set up something for Sunday. You know, for the pay per view that is barely mentioned.

Dreamer comes out to fight go after Justin, only to have Storm dive on both and start a three way brawl.

Back from a break with Lynn down in the ring and Cyrus coming out for a chat. We get straight to the cheap heat with Cyrus making fun of Minnesota, which gets on Jerry’s nerves. Cyrus offers him a spot in the Network but Tajiri comes out to break it up. Lynn nails Tajiri with a clothesline but says he did it for himself and not the Network.

Jerry leaves and here are Corino and Victory to go after Tajiri. He comes back with kicks but here’s Rhino to start a match.

TV Title: Rhino vs. Tajiri

Tajiri hammers away to start and nails the handspring elbow. They head outside for a moonsault off the apron before throwing a table inside. Tajiri blows the mist in Rhino’s eyes but has to kick Corino down. Steve is laid on the table for a top rope double stomp, only to get Gored in half by the champ. Instead of covering though he loads up the piledriver from the apron through a table on the floor to retain the title.

Rating: D+. Not bad here but they needed more time. Tajiri is a guy that can fire off kicks like there’s no tomorrow but he needs something more to fight off a monster like Rhino. This Network stuff is getting old though as Rhino is the kind of monster that doesn’t need help to get anywhere yet for some reason that’s all we see.

Sandman comes out for the save and gets nailed as well, drawing out Van Dam for the real save. A kick to the face drops Rhino and the Five Star ends the show.

Overall Rating: D. Please let this show die already. The stuff we’re sitting through here is already old as it’s just running in circles. With the World Title out of the Network story, it makes the belt seem even more worthless. This goes back to the old idea of the TV Title meaning more than the World Title which is one of those things that ECW always did and never quite held up. Just make Rob the top guy already and be done with it.

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