Lucha Underground – June 3, 2015: Someone Explain This Thinking To Me

Lucha Underground
Date: June 3, 2015
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

The big story this week is the resurrection of Mil Muertes, who returned after being sent to the grave by Fenix. The rematch saw Muertes flanked by an army of skull men, meaning the demonic force is about to take over the entire company. Oh and Bael was murdered by Cueto’s monster brother. Let’s get to it.

We open with a trip to Recapville, population 2,294.

Chavo Guerrero is in Dario Cueto’s office and tells him of Black Lotus’ plan to kill Cueto’s brother. Apparently Chavo was supposed to take care of her but Dragon Azteca got to her first. Azteca must know someone inside the temple to have gotten inside Lotus’ head. The trainer has volunteered to erase Chavo’s debt in Mexico if Lotus is protected, but Chavo is willing to be hired away. Cueto pulls out money but he wants protection from Mexico instead.

Argenis vs. Jack Evans

Argenis has been out due to Pentagon Jr. breaking his arm. Before we get going, here’s Cueto to say no one cares about Argenis and Evans has never won a match here. Therefore, whoever wins here gets one of the seven Aztec medallions. Argenis throws him down to start but Jack charges at him with a clothesline to take over.

Evans’ hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb followed by a low blow, which the referee doesn’t seem to mind. Evans: “MY TESTICLES!” It doesn’t seem to be the worst injury in the world as Jack kicks him down and hits a standing corkscrew moonsault for two. Something like a Kimura has Argenis in trouble but it also has him in the ropes. Back up and Argenis grabs a German suplex to send Jack outside, followed by a huge flip dive to wake the crowd up.

Jack tries to moonsault off the apron into a hurricanrana but Argenis slams him into the barricade to take over again. Back in and Argenis slams him out of the corner for two as the announcers say this is also a way to get closer to the Lucha Underground Title. Neither guy is getting there anytime soon but it’s nice to get the lip service. Evans grabs a quick backslide and bridges forward for a cool looking pin.

Rating: C+. Nice fun match here though Argenis isn’t the most polished of the faces on the roster. Evans knows how to pull off that Shelton Benjamin style where he can do all the athletic stuff but still look like a jerk at the same time. That’s difficult to pull off as so much of the high flying stuff will get you cheered.

Daivari tells Big Ryck that Cueto has given them a Trios Title shot tonight if they can find a partner. Ryck suggests The Mack but Cage comes up and beats Mack up to take the spot instead. It’s pretty surreal to see someone get beaten up with wrestling moves in a realistic locker room.

Chavo comes up to Black Lotus and says Cueto has allowed her to compete in the temple. On top of that, Chavo is going to get the key to free Matanza (Cueto’s brother) so she can kill him in front of the world. Lotus is skeptical and beats the tar out of Chavo with her martial arts. The Crew comes in to go after her as well (why? Matanza killed Bael and Lotus wants to kill Matanza so shouldn’t they be on the same page?) and Chavo nails her with a pipe and handcuffs her.

Trios Titles: Big Ryck/Delavar Daivari/Cage vs. Son of Havoc/Ivelisse/Angelico

Ryck/Daivari/Cage are challenging and Ivelisse still has a bad leg. Angelico ducks some clotheslines from Cage to start but gets hiptossed into a backbreaker for a nice counter. That’s fine with Angelico who comes back with a kick to the head and the jumping knee to the face but Son of Havoc (the BIG crowd favorite here. Must be the beard) tags himself in. Cue the argument, allowing Daivari to sneak in and get in a cheap shot. Havoc comes back with a handspring elbow in the corner and a leg trip for two. He tries to speed things up but Angelico tags himself in this time, allowing Cage to get a tag of his own.

Angelico makes the mistake of going after the guys on the apron and gets gorilla pressed into a powerslam. Off to Ryck for a big elbow as Ivelisse takes a seat in the front row. So much for the apron looking good. Daivari comes in and pulls Angelico off the apron as Ivelisse rants about never getting tagged in. Cage does the delayed vertical suplex with squats but Angelico nails the knee strikes to get a breather.

Not that it matters as a powerbomb plants him down again for two. A big knee finally puts Cage down but Ryck knocks Havoc down to break up the hot tag. Cue Texano to distract Daivari though, allowing Angelico to hit another running knee. Havoc tags himself in for the shooting star and the pin as Angelico dives on Ryck and Cage.

Rating: C. Ok, I get it: they don’t work well together and they’re constantly bickering. Is there ANY other story you can tell about this team? You can only go so far with their challengers looking inept or having someone come out for a distraction before it gets ridiculous. Nothing to see here other than Ivelisse, at least when she’s not screaming.

Chavo and the Crew bring Lotus to Cueto. Since he’s pure evil, he threatens to put her in a cage with Matanza.

Pentagon Jr. vs. Sexy Star

Submission match. Star jumps him from behind during Pentagon’s dedication to his master. Pentagon kicks her down to start and hits a big chop in the ropes, which Vampiro takes exception to. Back up and Pentagon goes for the arm but Star counters into some knees to the face. A front facelock has Pentagon in some trouble but he rolls out and drops an elbow to take over.

Star is able to send him to the floor for a dive and Pentagon comes up holding his elbow. Thankfully Star is smart enough to go after it and sends Pentagon face first into the post. This is more violent than you would expect from her. Back in and a superkick sets up a leg lock on Pentagon as the elbow is forgotten. For a very unique submission, Pentagon loads up a tombstone but ties up her legs while she’s still in the air. Star rolls into a horrible looking Fujiwara armbar attempt (even the announcers call her out on it), allowing Pentagon to escape and nail a kick to the head.

Pentagon puts on a leg lock of his own (kind of a cross between an ankle lock and a Sharpshooter) but Star makes the ropes. Not that it matters as Pentagon kicks her to the floor again, only to have Star climb the barricade for a high cross body. Back in and Star slaps on a half crab but here’s Super Fly (injured by Pentagon) to attack Star for taking his mask a few weeks back. That earns Star a package piledriver and a surfboard makes her quit.

Rating: C-. Here’s the thing: as the announcers pointed out more than once, Star really isn’t good with submissions. What kind of psychology is that? Having the face fight the heel in the heel’s specialty? That’s not exactly the best idea. Either way, not a very good match here but Star was doing what she could.

Post match Pentagon goes for the arm but Vampiro makes the save. No blows are reached though as Vampiro leaves (Striker: “Before he makes a sacrifice to the black church of the poisoned mind.”).

We cut to the back where Vampiro hears voices in his head about going to dark places. He headbutts a mirror to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t their best show, though it had some stuff I liked. The problem here is they were either redoing stuff they’ve already covered or something that isn’t very interesting. Basically they need to get the bigger names back on the show, as this stuff really isn’t working very well. The Vampiro stuff is interesting though, especially if the master is Konnan, as those two have always hated each other.

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1 comment

  1. Jay H (the real one) says:

    I find LU a little overrated at times. The Matches are fine most weeks even if they get a spotty at times. The stuff surrounding it I can only suspend disbelief for so long before it gets silly. I know they are trying to be different from everyone else but some of it just doesn’t work for me.