Ring of Honor TV – May 11, 2016: If They Don’t Care, Then I Don’t Care

Ring of Honor
Date: May 11, 2016
Hosts: Mandy Leon, Kevin Kelly

It’s a special preview show for the Global Wars pay per view which has likely already aired assuming you don’t have this show in syndication. The only match announced for the show is Jay Lethal defending the World Title against the returning Colt Cabana. Aside from that it’s a bunch of Ring of Honor and New Japan stars mixed together for a single show. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Mandy and Kevin welcome us to the show and this really is just going to be one big preview.

We start with a clip from Final Battle where Bobby Fish made Roderick Strong tap but the referee didn’t see it, meaning the title didn’t change. Fish then pestered Strong until Strong lost the title to Tomohiro Ishii. We get a clip of the title change which we saw in full a few weeks back. Then Ishii beat the two of them at the 14th Anniversary Show, setting up a 2/3 falls match at Supercard of Honor X where Fish beat Strong 2-1.

Next up we have Tetsuya Naito vs. Kyle O’Reilly. Kyle had been in a long feud with Adam Cole, who he finally defeated at Supercard of Honor by choking Cole out with a chain. The clip of the match is the entire preview of this match.

Also at Supercard of Honor, Stokely Hathaway set up a tag match between Kazuchika Okada/Moose vs. Michael Elgin/Hiroshi Tanahashi. This means a clip of the ending of Okada vs. Moose from the Anniversary Show. Again: nothing more than that clip to show respect between the two.

There’s also a fourway tag with the Bullet Club vs. Matt Sydal/Kushida/Motor City Machine Guns. That means a preview by means of Bullet Club (different combination than at Global Wars) vs. Sydal/Kushida/ACH from the Anniversary Show. In other words: that was awesome so now come pay for another version of the same thing.

We actually cover a match with a story. War Machine is defending the Tag Team Titles against the Briscoe Brothers as the Brothers haven’t been around the titles for a long time now and wanted the belts back. That’s not cool with War Machine so it’s time for a rematch from a big match they had a few years back. War Machine has never beaten the Briscoes so there’s quite the backstory here. We get a clip from the two teams fighting back in 2015.

The Briscoes say War Machine can’t call themselves the best until they beat dem boys.

Video on Colt Cabana vs. Jay Lethal, which is either the same video as last week or so close that it doesn’t make a difference.

We get some clips of Cabana’s ROH highlights to show that he is more than just a comedy guy.

In case you haven’t seen enough of Cabana, here’s part of a 2/3 falls match he had against CM Punk on August 13, 2005 at Punk: The Final Chapter.

CM Punk vs. Colt Cabana

Joined in progress with Cabana grabbing a few headscissor takeovers to keep Punk on the mat and drawing a nice round of applause. Back up and Punk tries a monkey flip, only to get stomped on the face so Colt can strut a bit. Punk wants him to be serious for a change but the distraction lets Cabana grab a headlock.

We go old school (in case show a match almost eleven years old isn’t enough for you) with a crisscross. Colt stops and tells Punk to look up. Punk: “No!” Colt: “There’s a bear up there!” Punk: “NO!” Colt stomps on the foot instead and we’re clipped ahead to Colt grabbing a Boston crab as the announcers finally let us know that we’re in the third fall. Punk finally makes the ropes and comes back with a reverse hurricanrana.

We come back from a break with Colt getting in a super reverse DDT and both guys are spent. There’s the Anaconda Vice (or at least a version of it as the arm isn’t tied here) but Colt gets his feet on the ropes. The Pepsi Plunge (Punk’s middle rope Pedigree) is countered into a super Samoan drop but Punk grabs a crucifix for two.

Punk swears at him to start a slugout before kicking away at the leg to set up a Shining Wizard for two. A quick suplex is countered into a rollup to give Colt the pin out of nowhere at about 7:00 shown. I won’t rate the match since it was so clipped but what we saw was fine, for an eleven year old match with almost no connection to anything going on at the moment.

One last rundown of the Global Wars card and we’re off the air after 58 minutes.

Overall Rating: F. Nope. I know what Ring of Honor was going for here but I’m not going to accept this mess. This is the kind of show that should have aired on the website or something but above all else, IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN BEFORE THE PAY PER VIEW. It also might have helped if we saw some actual promos or something other than a match that took place nearly eleven years ago. Ring of Honor should be better than this but somehow they managed to mess up what should be the easiest idea in the world. Above all else here, I’m disappointed, which is about the worst thing you can be.

1 comment

  1. El Killjoy says:

    I gave up reviewing the ROH TV show already.