Monday Night Raw – November 1, 1993: Bobby Heenan Deserves Better

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 1, 1993
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

It’s another fresh month as we’re getting closer to the Survivor Series. Unfortunately it’s late 1993 and that means we’re in for some very hit and miss shows but we’re also in for a confusing few weeks as the main event is sorted out. It’s a dark time for the creative direction of the company so let’s get this over with. Let’s get to it.

Bobby Heenan finds Bastion Booger eating a bunch of food. Heenan: “None of this food is….” Booger: “IT’S RAW!”

Opening sequence.

Bastion Booger vs. Razor Ramon

Non-title. Booger is just embarrassingly fat here. The toothpick throw gets us going and Razor easily puts him up against the ropes for a soft slap to the chest. We take an early break and come back with Booger getting two off a splash and Heenan admitting that it’s his birthday. For some reason this stuns Vince as Razor ties Booger in the ropes for a……belly rub?

They head outside with Booger actually hitting the splash against the post. A bearhug goes nowhere so Booger starts slowly hammering away. Booger gets two off a World’s Strongest Slam as Heenan suggests Bastion could use the title as a tray at his birthday party. Another bearhug just seems to annoy Razor so he gets out and slams the big man. The Razor’s Edge is laughable at best so Booger sits on Razor’s chest and gets sunset flipped to give Ramon the pin.

Rating: D. Yeah this was horrible but what else were you expecting from someone as worthless as Booger? He was huge, he wasn’t anything worth seeing in the ring and his gimmick was that he was fat and gross. Razor is an incredible talent but he can’t do anything with someone like that.

Here’s a Survivor Series report, including a preview of a boxing match between Riddick Bowe and Evander Holyfield II. After that cross promotion, we hear the current main event lineup: the All Americans (Lex Luger/Tatanka/Steiner Brothers) vs. the Foreign Fanatics (Yokozuna/Quebecers/Ludvig Borga) but this weekend, the Fanatics beat Tatanka down and cost him his first ever pinfall loss in about two years. Luger tried to make the save (and to high five fans while jogging down to help his partner) but was stopped by one of the Quebecers.

Back in the arena, the Foreign Fanatics are in the ring for a chat. Cornette keeps laughing about how “Tatanto” is out of the Survivor Series where it’s all about surviving. Jim goes on a rant about all the possibilities the Survivor Series could see before Quebecers’ manager Johnny Polo talks about a team of anthropologists coming up from Bora Bora to see this kind of stupidity in person.

Borga says Scott Steiner’s American dream will never come true next week when he takes Scott out personally. Cornette wraps it up by saying that just like in Ten Little Indians, there will be none at the end of Survivor Series. Heenan: “And they’re all coming to my birthday party!”

Mr. Perfect vs. The Executioner

Executioner is your standard masked man. Some chops have Executioner in trouble but he whips Perfect into the corner. That’s about it for the jobber offense though as Perfect avoids a corner charge and kicks him in the ribs. We hit a leg lock on Executioner, followed by a spinning toehold to slow things down even more. This goes on WAY too long with Perfect pulling on the leg as Heenan suggests that his birthday be made a national holiday. The PerfectPlex gives him the pin to finally wrap this up.

Rating: D. WAY too long here despite it not even being four minutes long. This was a bunch of waiting around while Perfect worked on the leg which went nowhere, only to have the PerfectPlex end it a few seconds later. I’m not sure what was up with Perfect here but it got really old in a hurry.

Jeff Jarrett is in Nashville and complains about the politics in country music holding him back. He’s sick of seeing Billy Ray Cyrus with his buggy whip arms getting so much exposure. Jeff is ready to face people like Razor Ramon, Men on a Mission and the 1-2-3 Kid. This gimmick was dead on sight and I think everyone knew it.

Well Dunn vs. Smoking Gunns

Well and Dunn have purple thongs over their black singlets. Normally I would say that would tell you everything you need to know about them, but their names are Well and Dunn. Billy jumps over Dunn to start and punches him to the face as Heenan says Harvey Wippleman will be at his birthday party.

Some armdrags put Well down and we hit the armbar as this dead show keeps going. A suplex/high cross body combo gets two but Well snaps Bart’s throat across the top rope to take over. We hit the chinlock on Bart to kill even more time before Well tags out to Dunn for another chinlock. Back up and the hot tag brings in Billy for a running clothesline. Harvey trips him up though…..and they actually end this on a DQ after over seven minutes.

Rating: D-. Well Dunn vs. the Smoking Gunns just went to a DQ in nearly eight minutes. This was one of the worst matches I’ve seen in a very long time and I have no idea who thought this was something that needed to air on national TV. Horrible stuff here that just kept going and made an awful show even worse.

Randy Savage calls in to say he’ll be back to take care of Crush. Heenan makes fun of Savage’s voice because he’s a bit insane.

Adam Bomb vs. Virgil

Your main event people. They stare at each other to start until Virgil gets two off a cross body (though it looked like Bomb was supposed to catch him). That means it’s time for Adam to have a meeting on the floor with Wippleman, who Virgil chases around for fun. Back in and Virgil dives over the top but somehow winds up under Bomb. They head inside again with Adam hitting him in the head and slowly working Virgil over, only to miss a charge in the corner. Virgil scores with a dropkick but his cross body bounces off Bomb in what looks like another botch. The Adam Smasher (powerbomb) puts Virgil away.

Rating: D+. Who would have guessed that Virgil vs. Adam Bomb would somehow be the match of the night? Virgil actually tried in this one and got in some good offense, but when your opponent can’t figure out how to take a cross body, there’s only so much you can do. Bomb would get MUCH better after turning face but this was a hard one to sit through.

Heenan starts singing Happy Birthday to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. Holy sweet lederhosen this was a horrid show. The stuff for Survivor Series wasn’t bad but with this being the last episode of a TV taping, they basically threw whatever last talent they had out there to fill in some time. Just a dreadful show here, which really is the theme of this era.

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