Slammiversary 2016 Preview

It’s that time of year again. It’s time for TNA to pretend that they’re a major wrestling promotion by offering a pay per view that most people aren’t going to watch that is supposed to lead them into their potential war against Smackdown. The main event is allegedly Drew Galloway defending the World Title against Lashley in a TKO or submission only match for reasons that have been forgotten in the weeks of build. Let’s get to it.

We’ll start with the match TNA has announced as the official opener as Trevor Lee defends the X-Division Title against DJZ, Andrew Everett and Eddie Edwards in the match that was easy to predict because this is what the X Title is these days (or these years actually: a match you throw onto a show after a very weak build for the sake of talking about the good old days when people cared about it. The position on the card or whoever fights for the thing doesn’t matter as long as the title is treated as a complete afterthought.

As for the match itself, I’ll go with Edwards getting the belt to set up a match against Helms at Bound For Glory which isn’t going to be the most interesting either. Helms debuted last October and has done a grand total of almost nothing since, other than naming a small stable after himself and teasing an in ring debut that might get some minor attention. Edwards winning makes sense here and could give the title some more false hope of meaning anything going forward.

Dang I’ve been a bit bitter this time. Maybe the next match will be a bit better.

We also have an Al Snow match as his new French team faces the comedy duo of Grado and Mahabali Shera which should be destined for the pre-show. This is a feud that has been built up for a few weeks now and still has no real reason to exist other than to make Al Snow look more important than everyone else in the match. The French guys could be something interesting in the future but I really don’t expect them to be anything more than long term Wolves fodder. I’ll go with them to win here but we’ll likely get a rematch on Impact so Grado and Shera can get their comedit win.

Braxton Sutter has a match against an opponent to be named. I’m sure this will be a squash but Sutter impressed me a lot on Tuesday so I’m fine with this one getting a pay per view spot. It probably won’t get much time but at least it should be entertaining while it lasts.

Back to the title matches as we have Jade defending the Knockouts Title against Sienna. Jade is a really sad case as it’s clear that TNA wants to focus the whole division on Gail Kim but felt the need to take the title off of her for a bit before getting back to her, likely in a big moment at Bound For Glory as she’s entered into the Hall of Fame. Notice how even in a preview for the title match I keep talking about Gail Kim? See how similar it is to TNA? Sienna likely wins here so they can switch the title to Kim in October but at least it would kill off the dead Jade title reign and end its misery.

Decay should easily retain the titles over the BroMans, who are just thrown out there because Beer Money isn’t around anymore. As much a I’ve enjoyed Raquel as the latest eye candy around the pool and in the gym, she’s not going to be enough to get the suddenly much better BroMans another title reign. Decay has actually been a lot of fun lately and I can’t imagine they’re losing the titles to anyone but the Wolves, because they’re the Gail Kim of the tag division.

I’ll go with Drake to keep the King of the Mountain Title as Bram turns into TNA’s hybrid version of Cesaro and Ryback: he might get a quick push but at the end of the day he’s there to put someone over instead of getting himself over. Drake is going to have to cheat as hard as he can to win this thing but he’s been on fire lately and deserves some recognition for all that effort.

Now we get to the big stuff and we’ll start with the third biggest match on the card as Drew Galloway defends the World Title against Lashley in a TKO/Submission only match. Basically the two of them have been brawling for months and somewhere in there Dixie Carter had this darlin idea of mixing MMA and TNA rules because that’s what fans want to see when they watch professional wrestling.

I’ll go with Galloway to retain as Lashley is really just a glorified monster, albeit a rather good one. The stipulations would seem to favor Lashley, even though he made Kurt Angle tap out a few months ago. I’m not really wild on this match and it’s going to feel a little flat as a main event on a show like this. Still though, Galloway retains.

Next up is the match I’ve been looking forward to more than any other on the show as Ethan Carter III gets his rematch with Mike Bennett. These two have had the best feud TNA has produced in a LONG time and most of it is due to having two young guys with different personalities fighting each other. It’s been fun and the matches have worked, making this feud one of the big reasons that TNA has been tolerable. I’m sure this is going to be really entertaining as well and one of the better matches of the night.

That leaves us with the real main event. It won’t go on last but given how TNA has gone over the last few months, it’s very clear that this is the most important match of the night, at least in their eyes. We have Matt Hardy (now looking like a homeless Shakespearean actor) against Jeff Hardy (who may or may not be Willow half the time) in a Full Metal Mayhem match.

I don’t remember the last time a feud has turned me off on a promotion worse than this one has with TNA. They’ve treated this as the be all and end all feud of TNA when it’s really just the same thing we’ve seen time after time. I’m really not even sure why they’re fighting other than Matt is obsessed with getting rid of his brother. One week they were having an I Quit match that ended in a draw and now it’s this completely over the top feud with so bad they’re good vignettes.

I’m sure Jeff is going to do something completely stupid that no one will be able to follow because that’s how TNA works. There are better and more important feuds, but Matt vs. Jeff is their version of Austin vs. Rock for whatever reason and the fans not wanting to stick around really doesn’t matter to TNA. The match should be entertaining but as usual it’s the trip to the dentist office of wrestling: the end result is better than you were expecting but that doesn’t mean it was fun getting here. I’ll actually take Matt to win, likely putting him back in the World Title hunt because he’s a Hardy and that’s where he belongs.

One final note: Gail Kim vs. Maria is off due to Maria breaking her hand. There’s always the chance they’ll swap in Allie to take her place though and if that’s the case, I’ll take Gail to win a good match.

Overall, I really do not want to see Slammiversary, This insanely booked Hardy vs. Hardy feud has just crippled my interest in the show in recent weeks and I don’t see that getting any better anytime soon. If Matt vs. Jeff closes the show over the better or more important match, I’m going to be taking a break from TNA to keep myself from going insane. The show has the potential to be entertaining but TNA needs to nail something special tomorrow night, which I really don’t expect them to do. I mean, it’s not like they ever really do.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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4 comments

  1. Jay H (the real one) says:

    I am right there with you KB. Other than EC3/Mike Bennett and maybe Drew Galloway/Lashley I have zero interest in seeing this Show. I too am past the Hardy feud and apparently Jeff says he plans to top Shane’s HIAC spot from WM 32,oh goodie a stupid stunt just for the sake of doing it and not letting it be organic.

  2. Mike M. says:

    I know you aren’t a big Twitter guy so I thought I’d share what a real d-bag Matt Hardy is-

    https://mobile.twitter.com/MATTHARDYBRAND/status/742041332684881920

    klunderbunker Reply:

    Uh……yeah.

    M.R. Reply:

    Yikes.