ECW on TNN – September 8, 2000: ECW All In One

ECW on TNN
Date: September 8, 2000
Location: Hammerstein Ballroom, New York City, New York
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

We’re still in New York and that’s a good thing based on the atmosphere alone. It’s a double title defense week as the new Tag Team Champions Tajiri and Mikey Whipwreck will defend against the FBI while Rhino will defend the TV Title against Kid Kash. Above all else though, it’s just nice to have Tag Team Champions who can defend their titles. Let’s get to it.

Joel and Joey do their thing and Joel talks about various women he’s had in New York. Cue Cyrus to say this show is canceled, drawing a USA chant. Cyrus goes on a rant about how horrible New Yorkers are as the announcer tease fighting him. Paul Heyman runs in for a phone shot to the head, only to have Rhino come out and put Paul through a table. A fan runs in so Rhino beats up a cop. The locker room empties out for a huge brawl and the roster body surfs Kid Kash over to Rhino for the TV Title match.

TV Title: Rhino vs. Kid Kash

Rhino is defending and ignore the other twenty people in the ring. Sandman does his big entrance as everyone else gets on the floor. We FINALLY get back to the ring as Rhino has choked Kash down in the corner, leaving Sandman to cane the champ in the head over and over. Rhino Gores him out to the floor and Kash does a big flip dive onto most of the roster.

Back in and Kash gets Gored, only to have Rob Van Dam come out for a Van Daminator (with Rhino just standing there and catching the chair like a moron). A Van Terminator sets up a Five Star/guillotine legdrop combo to give Kash the title. There’s no way I’m rating this as Kash and Rhino interacted for all of thirty seconds of this “match”, a good chunk of which was spent on Sandman’s entrance and the roster getting back to its feet.

Back from a break and let’s recap the first third of the show.

On the streets of Time Square, the Sinister Minister says he hasn’t slept since 1972 and he spends all that time thinking of evil thoughts. The FBI has been cursed so Tajiri and Mikey will be ready to keep their titles. Tajiri speaks Spanish and everyone laughs.

Blue Boy vs. Balls Mahoney

Joined in progress with Balls hammering away until a back elbow slows him down. The fans are all over St. Clair here as the referee shoves Boy down. The Ball Breaker sets up the New Jersey Jam (top rope legdrop) but Balls kisses Jasmin instead of covering. I’m sure you can imagine the jokes that Joel is firing off here. A big chair shot puts Blue Boy away.

Rating: D-. This was just a way for the fans to make blue ball jokes (How did Joel not get one in?) and fill in some time. I’m sure this was entertaining for ECW fans but this show hasn’t exactly been heavy on the wrestling quality in the first place and it’s only getting worse as the show goes on.

Jasmin hits Balls with the weakest chair shots of all time so he gives her a Nutcracker Sweet.

Video on Danny Daniels (referee) costing Jerry Lynn some matches.

Da Baldies throw people out of the ECW New York bar. Angel steals a man’s prosthetic leg.

Tag Team Titles: Tajiri/Mikey Whipwreck vs. FBI

The FBI is challenging and they have to split up if they lose. Tony and Mikey get things going and the announcers go for the easy fat jokes about Big Sal. We start with a wrestling sequence and Tony grabs a short armscissors. Joey: “I haven’t seen one of those in a long time.” Joel: “Open your eyes. There’s one going on right now.” It’s off to Tajiri vs. Guido for a nice ovation as the fans are going to remember something that worked so well multiple times.

A quick strike off gives us a stalemate so it’s back to Tony. That just means a loud kick to the head before the champs flip Tony over, sending him head first into the mat. Stereo kicks to the head set up stereo STF’s to make the FBI tap, which doesn’t count for reasons unclear. Tajiri moonsaults onto all three Italians and it’s table time. Using Sal as a launch pad, Mikey dives onto Tony and Guido.

It’s all champions so far, making me almost certain that they’re losing the belts here. More chair shots to the head have the Italians reeling and something like a Conchairto makes things even worse for Guido. An Italian chair shot FINALLY slows Mikey down and the challengers are suddenly just fine because long term selling isn’t a thing in ECW.

Mikey comes right back with a tilt-a-whirl reverse powerbomb to send Tony throat first across the top rope in a sweet counter. The hot tag brings in Tajiri to clean house with a chair, followed by a Whippersnapper through a table. Sal gets blinded but is still able to hit a superkick, setting up the Kiss of Death onto a chair to give Guido the pin on Tajiri.

Rating: D+. Well that happened. The story here, if you can call it that, was basically the Italians get beaten up, then they beat up the champs for a few seconds, only to have a lot of cheating give them the belts. I’m really not a fan of this kind of match but at least there was wrestling involved instead of the usual nonsense. I mean, other than acting like Big Sal is there for anything other than comedy of course.

Overall Rating: D-. After a few weeks of ECW starting to look better, they go right back to their old standards with this mess. This was a bunch of throwing everything out the window and doing whatever they wanted in less than an hour because it gets them towards their pay per view without having to put in any of the effort. The lack of almost any wrestling for the sake of brawling doesn’t make it any better. I couldn’t stand this show and it was every bad thing ECW is known for in one show.

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