Smackdown – August 19, 2004: One Of The Funniest Things I’ve Ever Seen In Wrestling
IMG Credit: WWE
Smackdown
Date: August 19, 2004
Location: Copps Coliseum, Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz
The Canadian adventure continues as JBL is still Smackdown World Champion and likely in line to continue feuding with the Undertaker. I’m sure you’re as thrilled as I am. Other than that Kurt Angle pinned Eddie Guerrero in a match that should set up a third match to settle things for good, though you never know with them. Let’s get to it.
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
Opening sequence.
Here’s the limo to open things up with Orlando Jordan helping JBL out. This gives us one of my all time favorite visuals, with JBL wearing a halo around his neck with the cowboy hat sitting on top, above JBL’s head. The entrance takes forever as JBL can barely walk but he eventually (and very slowly) says he’s in tremendous pain. All the booing from these inferior Canadians are hurting his head but it’s ok if they want to chant JBL.
He won at Summerslam though and just like Martin Luther King, he had a dream. At his Hall of Fame induction, he wanted a clip of himself pinning Undertaker to introduce his speech. It wasn’t fair that Undertaker got himself disqualified so he didn’t have to pass the torch to JBL. We see some stills of the beatdown from Sunday (JBL: “Why are you people cheering that?”), which takes a lot of time as well.
JBL remembers seeing Undertaker’s evil face before passing out, which the fans seem to enjoy. After a quick rant about the American army protecting Canada, JBL says Undertaker will NOT be getting a rematch. This brings out Undertaker so JBL takes another minute or so to get out of the ring as he sells the heck out of those injuries. As JBL stumbles over a fan, Undertaker holds up the title because there MUST be a rematch.
It’s far better when JBL is played this way instead of bragging about everything he’s done over the years, which was just boring. This is actually entertaining and if we see more like this, he’s downright tolerable. It ran about fifteen minutes, but JBL selling his injuries made it worth the time.
Cruiserweight Title: Spike Dudley vs. Scotty 2 Hotty
Spike is defending and has Bubba and D-Von with him. Scotty starts fast with some slams into an armbar, followed by a backdrop onto the other Dudleys. D-Von gets up and offers a distraction so Bubba can break up the Worm. The top rope double stomp is blocked by a raised boot and the very quick comeback is on. Bubba has to make a save after a superkick and the Dudley Dog retains the title.
Rating: D. We’re never going to get an explanation of why Bubba and D-Von are listening to Spike are we? It’s not the most interesting story in the first place and I don’t see it getting any better. The fact that it took all three to deal with Scotty 2 Hotty should tell you everything you need to know about the legs this story has.
Carlito Caribbean Cool is coming.
Raw Rebound.
As the announcers talk, two guys come up with a HEIDENREICH NEXT WEEK banner.
John Cena (in a Wrestlemania inspired Word Life shirt) promises to go up 2-0 on Booker T. next week. Spike Dudley comes in and doesn’t like the idea of Cena calling himself a champ. Cena says it looks like Dennis the Menace finally grew up. Now Spike needs some glasses though because he can’t see Cena. Bubba and D-Von come in for the beatdown.
Billy Kidman/Paul London vs. Chavo Guerrero/Jamie Noble
Non-title. Noble and London start things off with Paul’s front facelock not getting him very far. London gets thrown to the apron but slingshots back in with a headscissors, only to get his head clotheslined off. It’s off to Chavo for a front facelock of his own as the villains take over. Chavo hits a slingshot legdrop for two but London gets to his feet for a double knockdown. That’s enough for the hot tag to Kidman so house can really be cleaned. Everything breaks down and it’s a BK Bomb to Chavo, followed by a sunset flip but Jamie pulls Chavo on top. A grab of the rope is enough for the pin on Kidman.
Rating: C. Not too bad here, though I’m not sure on having the Tag Team Champions lose on Sunday and then lose again on Thursday. They aren’t the strongest champions in the world in the first place and it doesn’t seem like a great idea to have them lose twice in a row like this. Noble and Guerrero aren’t winning the titles so did you really need to do this on two straight shows?
Teddy Long sends Brian Hebner to tell John Cena that he’ll be facing a Dudley later tonight.
Here’s a disappointed Eddie Guerrero for a chat. He calls Kurt Angle out because we haven’t really determined the better man. This brings out Angle, who thinks Eddie is nuts for wanting to do this again. Angle is looking for action though and Eddie likes that idea, but Angle says no. Eddie says they’ve done this twice and are 1-1, so we need a rubber match. It’s true that Angle outwrestled him and no one has ever done it to him like that in his career.
Eddie wants Angle to shake his hand but Angle doesn’t buy it. Some persuasion gets Angle inside and Eddie says he’s telling the truth…..before punching him in the face. Luther Reigns comes out for the save until Rey Mysterio runs out to even things up. Eddie lying after convincing Angle that he’s telling the truth still works. It’s like Ric Flair turning on Sting back in 1995. You know exactly where it’s going but it’s still fun to watch because you want to see these people act like they’re supposed to.
John Cena vs. D-Von Dudley
Booker T. is on commentary. D-Von hammers away in the corner to start but Cena is right back with a hiptoss. They slug it out some more with D-Von elbowing him in the face for two more. A splash misses in the corner and Cena scores with a backdrop. Cena slugs away, knocks Bubba off the apron, and hits an AA (Booker: “NO! NO!”) for the fast pin.
Post match Cena says Booker has something of his, and next week they’re having the second match in their series.
Video on the debut episode of Smackdown, just shy of five years ago.
Rob Van Dam vs. Rene Dupree
Rematch from Sunday’s Heat match. They fight over a wristlock to start as the announcers talk about the wrestling history in this building. Van Dam kicks him down but misses the flip legdrop to give us a standoff. The corner shoulders and a monkey flip sends Rene down but he’s able to send Van Dam shoulder first into the post. An armbar keeps Van Dam in trouble as a pull of the hair gives Rene two.
The armbar goes on again as the announcers talk about underwater basket weaving and synchronized swimming. Rob pops up with a superkick and a bridging German suplex for two. Rolling Thunder hits raised knees and a good looking superplex keeps Van Dam’s back in trouble. Rob is fine enough to kick him in the face and hit the Five Star for the pin.
Rating: C. Not too bad here and one of Rene’s best matches to date. They kept it short and Rene’s offense, especially that superplex, looked rather sharp. Van Dam isn’t about to lose to Dupree, whose status is starting to fade fast. Rob might not be the top star in the company, but he’s still ahead of Dupree.
Post match Kenzo Suzuki comes in and lays out Van Dam. It still doesn’t make him interesting.
Theodore Long gives a tape to a production worker, followed by some holla holla holla lessons. This was oddly creepy with Long flirting with the production woman.
The $1 Million Tough Enough is coming. There’s someone involved in that and he’s awesome.
Long is in the ring and has a major announcement: he’s rehired the Big Show. As a bonus, he introduces the main event.
Kurt Angle/Luther Reigns vs. Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio
Rey dropkicks Luther to start and it’s Eddie coming in for a suplex. It’s already back to Rey, whose crossbody is countered into a backbreaker to change control in a hurry. Angle gets two off a clothesline and it’s off to a chinlock. The impatient Eddie breaks that up in a hurry so Rey snaps off a headscissors. The hot tag brings in Eddie and Angle hides in the corner like a true coward.
Angle starts in on the ankle and knocks him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Angle grabbing the ankle lock but Eddie rolls out in a hurry. Another leglock keeps Angle in control until a quick rollup gives Eddie two and a break. Reigns comes back in for a hold of his own and tags Angle after getting kicked away. That’s fine with Kurt, who cuts Eddie’s trip to the corner off with an overhead belly to belly. Eddie breaks up another suplex attempt and now it’s the hot tag to Rey so the pace can pick up.
A springboard seated senton gets two on Angle but the hurricanrana to Reigns takes bumps the referee. The 619 around the post knocks Angle silly and Reigns is knocked into position as well. Angle is back up with a chair to Rey’s knee though, sending Eddie after Angle with a chair of his own. With Angle gone, a low blow drops Reigns and it’s the Three Amigos into the 619 into the frog splash for the pin.
Rating: C+. Eddie and Rey were always fun to see together and that was the case again here. They gel together so smoothly and that was the case here. Reigns was kept to a minimum here and that’s the right idea for a match like this. Let the three masters do their thing and have him come in for the power stuff. That’s all it should be and it worked fine here, even if the match followed a pretty simple formula.
Post match Eddie and Rey celebrate the win but here’s Angle to pour paint on the low rider. Eddie is distraught to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. Other than the hilarious JBL image, there wasn’t a lot going on with this one. There was some average at best wrestling and storyline advancement that feels like we’re just heading to rematches either on television or at No Mercy. The Smackdown half of Summerslam was only so good in the first place so this isn’t the most thrilling show in the world. Not terrible, but not exactly exciting.
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