Victory Road 2011: Writing That Took Longer Than The Main Event

Sorry for the delay.  I actually wasn’t sure what to think of the end of the show.

Victory Road 2011
Date: March 13, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Well this is TNA’s offering for the month.  It’s another show with the majority of it added on at the very end with no real build to it.  Yes there are stories for the matches, but that doesn’t mean there’s justification for asking something like 40 dollars for a show.  The main event is the rematch of Sting vs. Jeff Hardy and the third #1 contender situation for Anderson.  Let’s get to this as it’s one of the least interesting shows I can remember in forever.

The opening video is the Sting mask being crawled on by a scorpion.  Wow they’re banking a lot on this push.

Bully Ray vs. Tommy Dreamer

 

Pre match Ray runs his mouth about how awesome Hogan and Bischoff are for letting him have a run.  Dreamer comes out and Ray talks about how he’s run Dreamer into the ground over the years and mentions breaking his wife’s neck.  This is now hardcore.  They brawl to start us off and Dreamer sends him to the floor as we imply Ray going to Immortal.  Well if they want to drive it off a cliff why not?

A fan holds a up a chair and Dreamer rams Bubba into it.  There’s some water spit into Bubba’s head.  This is opening a PPV in 2011.  Dreamer grabs some big yellow stuffed animal (apparently from Despicable Me) to drill Ray with.  Into the crowd now as my head is already hurting from this.  Granted that might be due to Florida getting a 2 seed in the NCAA tournament but who knows.

They go into the balcony with the traditional carry the guy around style. Dreamer hits him in the head with something that looked like it was made of metal to continue his dominance so far.  Back to ringside with Bubba getting in a big shot with some other unidentifiable weapon.  Crowd is hating on Ray pretty well.  He’s played the character well, but why in the world is it Bubba Ray Dudley getting this push?

Ray goes after Dreamer’s hand which only works to an extent.  Dreamer throws some garbage cans with weapons into the ring.  Good thing he had those just in case this was made hardcore I guess.  They have a road block thing that has a name that I can’t think of in there.  It’s the orange/white fence thing that is moved up when you drive through it.  And there’s an inflatable doll in there which Bubba lands in a 69 position with.

Splash on the doll onto Bubba gets two.  Ray gets a trashcan lid shot to the head of Dreamer as Dreamer goes up top.  Superplex gets no cover.  Bubba Bomb is blocked into a DDT for two.  Dreamer brings in a table (moving it off the love doll) which is set up in the ring like a small ramp.  The fans want D-Von as Ray gets a spinning Rock Bottom for two.  He sets the table for Dreamer and calls out at D-Von.  The kids of D-Von come out as does D-Von and Ray takes a 3D through the table to end it.

Rating: D+. There was a blowup doll in this as well as a Despicable Me doll.  I get that it’s a comedy match, but dude it’s Tommy Dreamer vs. Bubba Ray Dudley opening a PPV in a semi-comedy match in the year 2011.  Just get to the table match that is coming for Bubba vs. D-Von so they can move into midcard purgatory.

Winter and the Beautiful People insist they’re cool.  Winter says the issues have been Velvet’s fault.  This gets a WTF look from Velvet.

Knockout Tag Titles: Rosita/Sarita vs. Winter/Angelina Love

 

The Mexican chicks say basic Spanish stuff.  Winter is blindfolded or something and there’s no Velvet, making me think the titles are changing here.  Rosita and Angelina start us off but it’s off to Winter quickly as the champions are dominating.  Bridging Northern Lights gets two.  Angelina back in now as the fans chant USA for two Mexican chicks, Angelina (Canadian) and the British chick Winter.

Sarita is in now and has about as much luck as Rosita had.  There’s some heel cheating and Rosita misses a front flip legdrop that was aimed at Angelina’s ankles.  More fast tags by the champions as they regain control quickly.  Everything breaks down slightly and Sarita grabs a belt.  She drops it and Rosita gets ahold of it but Velvet runs in to steal it.  Winter rolls her up but no referee.  Rosita reverses it and wins the titles with a pin.

Rating: D. Well this was predictable.  I don’t think this lasted very long but I don’t time PPV matches so it’s not like it matters.  Granted these titles have been worthless since they debuted.  Velvet has to explain herself.  Wouldn’t Winter know that she was never hit by a belt and that would be enough validation?  Whatever.

We’re going to have the Jarretts on vacation tonight.  They’re at Universal Studios and Karen is bored out of her mind with the rollercoasters.  The kids are with them and Karen hates the kid stuff.

Morgan talks about (Shawn) Hernandez and how the Mexican company dropped him.  Morgan says that after this he’s going after the world title.  The recap for the match is just that Hernandez came back and played the race card, setting this up.  He’s in Immortal also.

Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan

 

This is first blood.  Hernandez came out to the LAX theme which is a rarity.  They head to the floor almost immediately as Morgan rushes the ring.  Hernandez gets a sharp wooden stick and tries to jab it into Morgan’s face ala Magnum TA vs. Tully Blanchard.  I apologize for comparing this to a classic like that.  Hernandez ribs as the face as the fans want blood.  Morgan fights back by a side slam.

Hernandez hits a Pounce as we hear about how awesome he was in AAA.  He was so awesome he wasn’t at their biggest show of the year last year.  Hernandez hammers away until Morgan gets a discus lariat.  This is rather boring if you didn’t get that.  Fall away slam continues Morgan’s lack of head shots.  He grabs the stick from earlier but gets kicked in the gut to drop it.

A fan runs in and Hernandez pulls out a chain.  Morgan kicks it out of his hand and drills Hernandez with it.  The referee is down and Hernandez is busted open.  Hernandez comes out of the corner and sprays Morgan with something that looks like fake blood or something like that.  The other referee comes out of the back (I guess not watching on a monitor or something) and gives it to Hernandez.

Rating: F+. Well the ending was original as I don’t think I’ve ever seen that done.  However, this is more or less every other first blood match with the heel bleeding and getting the win anyway in a screwy finish.  This was nothing at all of note, but granted you can say that about the first 45 minutes entirely here of Impact on Sunday.

It’s Max Buck’s birthday and he works as a team with his brother.  Shenanigans are implied.

Kazarian interviews JB in a weird moment.  He busts out a Charlie Sheen reference, making me want to end Kazarian.

Robbie E yells at someone that we can’t see.  Cookie is panicking about Ultimate X and Robbie says he’s fine.  This was idiotic if you didn’t get that.

Video on Ultimate X.  It’s so awesome that it got thrown on at the last minute.

X-Division Title: Kazarian vs. Max Buck vs. Jeremy Buck vs. Robbie E

 

The idea here is the title is hung over the ring on cables that cross to form an X.  You have to climb across to grab the title and can’t use a ladder.  It’s supposed to be all about Maz remember.  This is the 24^th Ultimate X match in history apparently and Kaz’s fifth.  This is kind of a weird triple that with Gen Me vs. Robbie vs. Kaz.  The team beats up both guys to start us off.

Kaz fights them off for a bit and manages a springboard up to the X in a cool spot.  That gets him nowhere as Robbie comes in and stomps away.  Max goes up but it’s Robbie stopping him.  Cookie is hot but the voice is annoying.  Gen Me gets everyone down and goes for the belt until Robbie stops them again.  Kaz is back in now and faces off with Jersey Boy.

Robbie escapes the Fade to Black (that reverse Piledriver) and gets backdropped to the floor, hitting his ankle on the steps.  Gen Me wakes up again and takes down both guys one more time.  Jeremy gets a sweet assisted moonsault to take Robbie and Kaz down.  Max is all alone but wants Jeremy to help him up instead.  Jeremy holds off Kaz and Max makes a run at it.  Kaz of course saves as Robbie has a bad ankle still.

Double dropkick puts down Kaz and a baseball slide does the same to Robbie.  Jeremy does this weird reverse jump to get up and holds off Kaz.  This again fails and Maz, who also was trying to get the belt, is swung backwards and gets knocked off and caught in a cutter to put him down.  Robbie gets up and goes for the title, only to get pulled down by Max.  And never mind as Max is sent into the structure by Kaz and gets stuck.  That’s different if nothing else.

Everyone is down now and Max is unhooked for a change.  Kaz hits Fade to Black on Robbie but gets kicked by Jeremy.  Jeremy tries to go up only to take an enziguri from the champion to put him down.  Flux Capacitor (suplex/rock bottom) off the top by Kaz puts Jeremy down again.  Robbie and Kaz both go across at the same time.  Gen Me kicks Robbie down and swing the champion down too in a nice bump.

Jeremy goes up and Max isn’t happy.  Max pulls him down which is the point of the match.  They both go from opposite corners and both are hung by their legs upside down in the middle.  They slug it out up there until Robbie grabs a ladder to take them down.  Kaz goes above the X and grabs the title at the same time as Robbie.  Kaz pulls it up but there’s no bell.  Oh there it is.

Rating: C+. It’s ok but this is a match that has been done so many times that there wasn’t much here.  It’s definitely one of the weaker matches they’ve had with this gimmick but it’s still good.  Fun match but they kept trying to play up the Bucks only for them to break up and not play a factor in the end.  Fun, but definitely not great.

More honeymoon stuff and Karen wants champagne.  Instead it’s a pizza.  Next up: a water park.

Beer Money hits on Christy and try to get her to do the BEER MONEY thing.  Basically it’s to hit on her and stare at her figure.  Can’t say I blame them.  They get serious and say they’re awesome but Ink Inc is overstepping their bounds.  Something about respect is mentioned.

We recap the feud, which was Ink Inc saying they want a title shot and Beer Money saying ok.

Tag Titles: Ink Inc vs. Beer Money

 

I could see this being good.  Neal vs. Storm starts us off With no one taking over we get a double tag and some technical stuff follows.  The fans are split which makes sense for once as they’re both face teams.  Moore gets a leg lariat for two.  Neal comes in now and takes a powerslam for two.  This is taking a bit to get off the ground here.

Moore back in now and we hit the chinlock.  They do some basic stuff and it’s one of those moments where stuff happens but nothing is going on.  It’s ok but there is no interest in this at all.  It could be because there’s no history here and it’s there for the sake of having a title match.  Roode gets a spinebuster on Neal for two.  Ink Inc takes over again as Taz isn’t even sure who is legal.

Roode gets the formerly Northern Lariat (clothesline to the back of the head) to Neal and goes up top with Moore.  Down goes Roode and a Whisper in the Wind to Storm gets no cover.  Roode with a Rock Bottom for two.  BEER MONEY thing kind of gets the crowd hot but Neal hits the spear on Storm.  Neckbreaker gets two on Roode.  Moore wants to use the chain but Neal disagrees.  Beer Money comes back and the DWI ends Moore.  I guess they’re splitting one of the two active teams worth anything.

Rating: C+. This was just there for the most part.  It wasn’t great at all but it wasn’t bad.  Like I said: just kind of there.  The total lack of story hurt it a lot which is due to the booking and not the guys.  This wasn’t bad but it was really not interesting at all.  Granted that might be Shannon Moore.

Neal shakes their hands post match but Moore spits beer in their faces, I guess turning heel.  He talks about having to be tough to win.  Whatever.

Matt Hardy talks about how he’s cold blood/cold blooded and will hurt AJ.

AJ Styles vs. Matt Hardy

 

This is just Immortal vs. Fourtune.  AJ uses speed to take over and grabs a front facelock.  Sweet dropkick takes Matt down.  Flair interferes and here comes Matt.  Here come the dueling chants also.  Matt has the braided hair back too.  He’s in jeans and no armbands either, making him look like a bum.

Out to the floor again where AJ is sent into the post.  He counters by hitting his always awesome slide under the railing and springboard forearm.  Back in the ring now with AJ taking over for awhile.  Matt sends him to the floor and Flair hammers away.  That’s Lockdown for these two next month people.  Back in Matt grabs a submission hold which is like a body vice.  Picture him setting for a double arm DDT and jumping up to wrap his legs around AJ.  It looked good if nothing else.

The rope is reached so it’s not like it means anything.  Taz says there’s no escape to it, which is stupid as AJ just escaped.  Flair grabs AJ’s balls for a bit and Matt grabs a cravate.  This is boring if that wasn’t clear.  AJ comes back and hammers away as the crowd seems a bit restless.  Enziguri puts Matt down and AJ does the same.  More punching follows and a big kick to the head sets up a backbreaker for two.

AJ misses a discus lariat and the Side Effect gets two.  This needs to end rather soon here.  Matt gets an elbow to the back of AJ’s head and it’s Twist of whatever time.  It’s blocked into a backslide for two and down goes AJ again.  AJ gets back up and tries the Clash but Matt escapes that and gets two.  Styles kind of botches his backflip into the reverse DDT but Flair distracts the referee.

Flair pokes AJ in the eye and takes a Pele for his efforts.  Matt gets a DDT and a moonsault for two.  END THIS ALREADY.  Hey they listen to me as AJ takes Matt down and Spiral Tap of all things which AJ hasn’t used in years (it’s a top rope twisting moonsault/splash) gets him the pin.

 

Rating: D+. AJ was good, Matt was sluggish.  What else were you expecting here?  For the life of me I don’t get why people see money in Matt Hardy as he’s just big and slow at this point with the fans cheering him for some reason.  AJ needs to just beat Flair and get it over with already.  At least Matt didn’t win so there is that at least.

Back to the honeymoon with Karen snapping on Jeff.  She wants sex apparently.  Jeff thinks she means Kurt.  This storyline has died so many times it’s insane.  Thursday on Impact Jeff is going to call for a truce.  They’re not sure where their kids are but they all get soaked.  Jeff has been a total face the entire night now.

Anderson talks about getting screwed over and more or less says he’s a tweener.

We recap RVD vs. Anderson.  In short, they both want the title and both say they got screwed.  Somehow we’re talking about football.  They’re grasping at whatever straws grasp at to come up with a backstory for this match.  They talk about Lockdown in the voiceover but I stopped caring a long time ago.

Rob Van Dam vs. Mr. Anderson

 

This is ANOTHER #1 contenders match for Anderson after he won one already.  They stare it down to start and it’s dueling chant time with Anderson’s being louder.  Technical stuff goes on and it’s a standoff.  More technical stuff follows as I think this is supposed to be an epic match.  They botch a leapfrog spot with Van Dam taking a head to the balls.  This show is almost a comedy of errors at this point.

Rolling Thunder to Anderson as I just want this match to end at this point.  Spinning legdrop to the railing misses Anderson and the leg hits the railing to give Anderson control.  Anderson works the leg and it’s all basic stuff here.  Mic Check is blocked and Rolling Thunder doesn’t work either.  Van Dam gets a suplex to put both guys down.

Both guys go down again and this is just dragging like every other match so far.  Van Dam goes shoulder first into the post and they ram heads to go down AGAIN.  Now they head to the floor off a cross body and they lay around AGAIN.  Anderson gets the Mic Check on the stage and Van Dam is more of less dead.

And it’s a double count out.  The fans boo the HECK out of that and I’d be with them.  This somehow was 15 minutes long.  Where in the world was the 15 minutes?  Oh and look: MORE multi-man title matches.  The fans chant to restart it and half chant no.  Now it’s a 5 more minutes chant.  Get on with it already.

Rating: F. This was just boring as all goodness and the ending hurt it even more.  They have zero chemistry together and this show has sucked so hard so far that this made it even worse.  It’s obvious they’re doing a multi-man match at Lockdown but that isn’t helping anything as far as tonight goes.  This is one of the worst PPVs I’ve seen in a very long time which is saying a lot when it comes to TNA.

We recap Sting winning the title on 3/3.  He was a surprise, read the other reviews for the details.

Hardy says that he was treated unfairly and he’ll win tonight to bring everyone back to reality.

Sting talks about getting into the business and it’s music video time.  I’ve heard this interview before.  Probably was on Impact or something.  Yeah I think it was.  He was at home and felt a burn.  Call a doctor dude.

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Sting

 

It’s 10:30 and Jeff is wasting time getting to the ring.  Before the match Bischoff comes out to waste MORE time.  He makes it No DQ which somehow takes like two minutes.  Sting drops him and the Scorpion Death Drop ends this in less than a minute.  That was their first contact of the “match.”  I kid you not.  Are they serious?

We get a highlight video to fill in 6 minutes to end the show.

Overall Rating: F-. The show has been over for 15 minutes now (final bell rang at 10:38) and I don’t know what to say.  Early word is that Hardy was in no condition to perform.  If that’s the case, TNA’s creative and management team all should refund the fan’s money and resign.  You had 150 minutes to come up with ANYTHING else to put out there and this is what they gave us.  Put Bully Freaking Ray out there and it’s a better than this.

I’m still not sure what to think about what just happened but this is awful even by TNA standards.  It’s a big slap in the face to the people that bought this show and they’ve cost themselves dearly.  I was going to go to Lockdown and now I have no interest in going at all.  Absolutely awful ending and a disgrace all around.  Jeff being high or not, you do not let this happen.  Period.

As for the rest of the show, it was bad.  There was nothing at all of note worth seeing and that makes the ending even worse.  This show didn’t need to happen at the end of the day.  It’s a speed bump on the road to Lockdown and nothing was advanced here.  Now, because of this, TNA has another fire to put out.  I have no idea where they go from here but it’s nowhere good.

Results

Tommy Dreamer b. Bully Ray – 3D with help from D-Von

Rosita/Sarita b. Winter/Angelina Love – Rollup to Winter

Hernandez b. Matt Morgan – Hernandez squirted blood on Morgan

Kazarian b. Max Buck, Jeremy Buck and Robbie E – Kazarian pulled down the Title

Beer Money b. Ink Inc – DWI to Moore

AJ Styles b. Matt Hardy – Spiral Tap

Mr. Anderson vs. Rob Van Dam went to a double countout

Sting b. Jeff Hardy – Scorpion Death Drop