Impact – May 19, 2011 – Yeah It’s Still The Same Show

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 19, 2011
Location: Impact Wrestling Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: Back From The Dead

It’s the first show of a new era this week as WRESTLING MATTERS apparently.  It should be very interesting to see how the show has changed in this new world of the company emphasizing wrestling.  Also it’s time for the fallout from Sacrifice which should be interesting as we have Slammiversary set with Sting vs. Anderson for the title.  Lot to get to tonight so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Angle/Chyna vs. the Jarretts on Sunday as well as the main event with some quick soundbytes from the winners.

There’s a new intro and color scheme as it’s now blue and a silver/gray.  The arena looks different too and it’s a nice change.

Here’s Immortal to open the show minus Jarrett or Hogan.  Bischoff says he and Hogan should be credited for all of the changes.  He runs down Foley, saying if it had been his decision it would have been Thumbtacks Matter instead of Wrestling.  Hogan and Foley are in New York apparently having meetings.  Immortal is in charge tonight and they’ll take care of anyone that gets in their way tonight.

Here’s Kendrick and the X guys, including Gen Me and Amazing Red.  Kendrick says that it’s odd to see a non-wrestler complaining about wrestlers get in his way.  Kendrick runs Bischoff down, talking about how he’s leeched off this business forever through backstabbing and phony friends.  Oh and Bully is fat.

Bischoff meets them in the aisle and says tonight the X Division is ending.  Kazarian is going to defend the X-Division Title against Abyss.  Red is going to get Joe and Generation Me, who are no longer fighting it seems, get Matt Hardy….and Bischoff.  He even calls them vanilla midgets.  Kendrick wants a match too, so Bischoff slaps him in the head and the brawl is on.

Fourtune minus AJ comes out and it’s the big brawl of the week.  The good guys seem to stand tall but the fight continues in the aisle.  They’re not done yet as Flair throws the jacket and they start it up again.  The X Guys hit dives on Immortal and the fight continues.  This has been going for a few minutes now so it’s a rather extended brawl.  They get split up and Flair says he wants to talk to Roode later tonight.

Sarita/Rosita/Madison Rayne vs. Mickie James/Miss Tessmacher/Tara

 

Mexican America comes out for commentary on this.  Rosita vs. Mickie to start us off as we go split screen to see the commentators.  I mention this because the new logo/scheme has what looks like blue flames or smoke and they were rapidly moving on the split screen so it was a bit disctracting.  Anyway the evildoers take over with some triple teaming but Mickie manages to tag in Tara to fight Madison.  Instead Madison runs and brings in Sarita.

Tessmacher comes in and continues to only be worth her looks.  For some reason she runs into the corer of Mexican America to hit the ropes so she gets tripled teamed also.  Madison runs from Tara some more so Tara beats up Rosita a bit.  Everything breaks down and Tara almost gets to Madison, only to send Rosita into Tara who ends Rosita with a chokebomb at 4:05.

Rating: D+. This was rather sloppy the whole time as it’s obvious that at least one of the girls is there because of how she looks in tiny shorts.  Other than that, nothing of note here at all as I guess we’re setting up Madison vs. Tara which is the logical way to go.  Hard to complain when I guess Sarita is the worst looking chick out there though.

Sting is here in his old tights and gear apparently but we only see his legs.

X-Division Title: Abyss vs. Kazarian

 

Bischoff gives Abyss a pep talk before the match, basically saying kill him and also quoting Sun Tzu.  Power vs. speed since the beginning as the announcers talk about how this could be the last X Division Title match ever if Abyss wins the belt.  Abyss takes him down with power and cranks on the neck but Kaz fights back, only to walk into a chokeslam attempt.  That doesn’t work and Kaz gets a springboard dropkick to take Abyss down.

Kaz cranks things up with a rana, an elbow and a legdrop, all off the ropes and resulting in a two count.  Chokeslam is countered again into a victory roll for two but Kaz gets caught in Shock Treatment to shift the momentum right back to Abyss.  Vader Bomb totally misses and may have hurt his knee.  Kaz charges into a big boot as Abyss was apparently faking and the Black Hole Slam gives Abyss the only title he’s never won at 5:05.  Tazz says the internet is burning up because of that.  Abyss quotes Sun Tzu post match.

Rating: C+. Just a David vs. Goliath match but with a nice little twist of Abyss outsmarting Kaz when he couldn’t beat him with just straight power.  I’m thinking this might actually be the beginning of the end for the division as there really isn’t much of a point to the thing at the moment.  The TV Title is fine for a midcard title and despite the whole no limits thing, it’s almost always been seen as a Cruiserweight Title.  Anyway, not a bad match but nothing of note at all.

Gunner wants his belt back.

Samoa Joe vs. Amazing Red

 

Red looks scared but charges anyway, only to get slammed straight down and hammered in the corner.  Red gets in a shot or two and it means nothing at all.  Musclebuster and we’re done in 47 seconds.

Joe beats on Red post match until Crimson comes down for the save.  Are he and Red still brothers?

Here’s AJ who is in a neck brace and wants to talk to Tommy Dreamer.  Here’s Dreamer in sunglasses.  Apparently Storm has a concussion from the brawl earlier.  AJ is in the brace for a few weeks because of the Piledriver on Sunday.  AJ says that this is about Dreamer wanting to have a contract and how he’s there against his will.  Dreamer interprets this as AJ saying Dreamer can’t beat him.

Dreamer talks about how he’s a veteran that doesn’t have anything handed to him and drills Dreamer, saying he sold out and that AJ is as worthless as all these fans that always want more.  The fight is on and AJ’s neck goes out again until Daniels comes out for the save.  Dreamer and Daniels brawl but Bully Ray comes out and drills AJ with the chain clothesline and Daniels is taken down by a low blow from Dreamer and a big boot from Ray.  AJ takes another Piledriver from Dreamer as we go to a break.

A fan says he’s excited.

Sting says his focus is Hogan and Bischoff still.  He’s in his traditional gear here.

The “original” Sting is seen from the back, making Tenay call shenanigans.

Here’s Kurt who says he’s in a much better mood because Karen is gone thanks to Chyna.  Karen has a broken ankle apparently but Chyna isn’t here tonight.  Angle vs. Jarrett again at Slammiversary in a #1 contenders match according to Foley it seems.  Here comes Jeff who says that this is one last time but he wants to know why Kurt gets the shot at all.  Karen shouldn’t be blamed apparently and it should all be on Kurt.  Jeff never got distracted because he’s better than Kurt.  Naturally there’s going to be a stipulation for the match at the PPV: if Jeff wins, he gets the gold medal.

They shake on it but Jeff’s music hits again.  Karen pops up through the stage like Angle does in a wheelchair.  She runs her mouth and Velvet Sky pops up behind her.  Velvet shoves Karen down the ramp and she crashes into Jeff, falling out of the chair.  Velvet’s music plays as the Jarretts regroup.

Gen Me says blood is thicker than water and they’re united tonight.

Bischoff gets a call from Hogan and tells him about the match tonight.  Apparently Hogan was successful in New York.

Back and the Jarretts complain some more.  Apparently Velvet faces Winter and Angelina tonight.

Generation Me vs. Matt Hardy/Eric Bischoff

 

No entrance for Gen Me.  Matt vs. Jeremy to start us off and Matt uses his size advantage to take over.  Gen Me speeds things up as is their custom and work on Matt’s arm.  Matt takes over for a bit but since it’s more or less a handicap match, Gen Me takes over again with double teaming.  Poetry in Motion to Matt and Jeremy takes him down with a spear.

Matt fights back but both guys do down.  Matt wants a tag and Bischoff freaks, allowing Jeremy to hit a frog splash to Matt’s back for two.  450 attempt eats knees as we’re told that Foley and Hogan will be here next week.  Ice Pick, that double underhook chokeout by Matt has Max out cold so Bischoff comes in for a kick and the academic pin at 6:07.

Rating: D. The match sucked and the burial/elimination of the X Division continues.  I’m not complaining, but at the same time is there a reason that on a show about the rebirth of wrestling to have Eric Bischoff get a pin?  The match itself was bad on top of that but I’ve seen worse.  The Bucks using high spots is always a plus.

Angelina is still in a trance and Winter has candles everywhere.  She says that it’ll be like it was before and kisses Angelina incredibly gently as they’re up next.

Angelina Love/Winter vs. Velvet Sky

 

Winter starts but Angelina is tagged in almost immediately.  Angelina still can’t be hurt apparently as she shoves Velvet into the corner and brings Winter back in.  Kick to the back gets two for Velvet.  Next week Angle and Jeff will be in the ring and pick each other’s opponents.  Jeff picked RVD apparently.  Velvet fights them both off and puts a chinlock on Angelina which gets her nowhere for the most part.

Angelina takes her down with a clothesline and next week it’s AJ/Daniels vs. Ray/Dreamer.  The implied lesbians tag in and out a lot and Velvet is in trouble.  Winter gets a spinning backbreaker and Angelina is brought back in again.  She moves all slowly and gets rolled up by Sky in a small package for the pin at 4:30.

Rating: D+. The match was pretty weak as Velvet is there to look hot and yell a lot and that’s about it.  Angelina plays that zombie roll to perfection, but I wish this angle would get somewhere already as it’s been going for months and we barely know anything at all.  Weak match as again they keep things short for the Knockouts, which is probably a good idea actually.

Post match ODB returns and beats up Velvet for no apparent reason.

Tessmacher is doing a photo shoot but Eric is the photographer and doesn’t have a camera.  He shows her how to do this by stripping down to his boxers and posing.  Gunner pops up and Eric wants to talk about respect.  Gunner hammers on him and leaves as Young says good job of working together bro.

Here’s Flair to call out Robert Roode.  Flair is ticked off about giving up to end Lethal Lockdown.  Roode says that was a war, not a wrestling match.  Flair says if the shoe was on the other foot, Roode would have been put out of wrestling.  Flair rants about mentoring Beer Money and how to be a man outside the ring also when it comes to getting drunk and getting laid.  Roode is going to be a man long after Flair leaves and that it’s now his time, not Flair’s.  Flair has changed colors in a matter of seconds.

Flair wants Roode to break his shoulder again right now and Roode says it’s over.  Flair says it isn’t and slaps Roode.  Roode grabs him and throws on the armbar again but here comes Immortal.  Remember that all of Fourtune has been taken out tonight already.  They get him down with relative ease and Ray whips him with the chain.  Ray tells Abyss to get two chairs and they do something similar to hammering a nail into Roode’s arm, probably breaking it.

Sting and Old Sting are up next.

Here comes Sting, as in the real Sting.  He says that he wants to praise RVD and that he got by on the skin of his teeth last Sunday.  His focus is still on Hogan and Bischoff and taking power from them.  Less than sixty seconds after he won on Sunday here was Anderson to jump him.  There go the lights and of course it’s Anderson in the old school attire.  He gets a bat shot and a Death Drop to Sting to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I really was disappointed in tonight’s show.  This was supposed to be TNA’s big emergence as the wrestling company and we get five matches, the longest clocking in at just over six minutes, one being a total squash and two promos to end the show.  Also, Eric Bischoff gets to pin someone.  I don’t see how this is supposed to help anything as Immortal continues to have virtually no authority and yet is pushed to the moon time after time.  Tommy Dreamer is a full fledged heel.  Let that sink in for a minute.  Anyway, weak show tonight to say the least and not a good sign for the future if this is an indication.

Results

Tara/Miss Tessmacher/Mickie James b. Rosita/Sarita/Madison Rayne – Tara pinned Rosita after a Chokebomb

Abyss b. Kazarian – Black Hole Slam

Samoa Joe b. Amazing Red – Musclebuster

Eric Bischoff/Matt Hardy b. Generation Me – Bischoff pinned Max Buck after a kick to the head

Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love/Winter – Small Package to Love