Monday Night Raw – November 13, 2006: Brace Yourselves People. We’ve Got A Running Joke Here.

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 13, 2006
Location: M.E.N. Arena, Manchester, England
Attendance: 15,266
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is happening for one reason: my girlfriend was at the show and asked me to review the show. At least I have a reason for it this time which is more than I can usually say. This is just after the McMahons vs. DX war ended but we still have Coach around to mess with them, so I think we have a show long angle cooking. Let’s get to it.

Here’s DX to open the show. HHH says there have been some loud crowds in the UK but Manchester is going to be the loudest. He does the usual intro but says he doesn’t have anything new to say this week. Shawn takes the mic and says what you can do if you’re not down with that. HHH says DX has made a list and both male McMahons and Bischoff are checked off said list. They make references to the end of last week’s show and we get a clip of Bischoff having his head shoved up a scantily clad area of Big Dick Johnson. JR: “That was controversial and it created cash!” Shawn appears to be getting sick after seeing that again.

That only leaves Edge and Orton on the list, but here’s Coach with something to say. DX can forget about the yet to be named Rated RKO tonight. The fans boo him out of the building and DX makes fun of him for trying to ban them from the building. Coach is drowned out by the crowd again. He says he’s put out a bounty on them worth $10,000. HHH: “You cheap bastard!” Coach makes a handicap tag for right now.

D-Generation X vs. Lance Cade/Viscera/Trevor Murdoch/Charlie Haas

This is joined in progress after a break with Shawn taking Haas down with a shoulder block. A hip toss puts Haas down and Shawn grabs a headlock. Shawn and HHH are in street clothes and it’s off to Cade who is chopped in the corner. Murdoch comes in and kicks Shawn’s head off but he jumps into a boot in that stupid move that gets on my nerves.

Shawn can’t make the tag as Viscera comes in with a side slam which gets two for Haas. A hard kick to the back gets two and it’s back to Cade for a chinlock. Shawn fights up and an enziguri lets him tag his male life partner. House is cleaned and it’s spinebuster/Pedigree for the pin on Haas.

Rating: D+. What in the world were you expecting here? This is why the feud with the McMahons over the summer wasn’t that well received: almost no one can give DX a run for their money in a straight match so there was a revolving door of midcarders to face them in handicap matches. That’s why Rated RKO was such a big help as it gave them people who could realistically challenge Shawn and HHH. Matches like these though were just there to give DX new people to beat up.

Kenny tells the three members of the Spirit Squad not in the upcoming tag match to get the bounty.

We cut to DX in the back and a Squad member (Nicky I believe, more famous as current Mr. MITB Dolph Ziggler) charging at them, only to miss completely. Shawn hits him with a trashcan lid and HHH hits Mikey with the same lid. HHH and Shawn have a quick pow wow, talking about how this is going to be a long night. They take a step towards the camera to avoid a diving Mitch in a predictable yet amusing spot.

Highlanders vs. Spirit Squad

The Highlanders were a Scottish team that you don’t need to remember. This would be Johnny and Kenny for the Squad. Robbie and Johnny get us going and down goes Johnny via a headbutt. Off to the bald Rory who gets two off a cross body. Johnny rakes the eyes and it’s off to Kenny who was supposed to be the breakout star of the team.

The Squad double teams Rory down and it’s off to another chinlock. Rory sends Kenny into the top rope (JR: “Does anyone have a last name anymore?” Jerry: “You just have initials.”) and it’s a hot tag to Rory. Everything breaks down and the Squad sends Rory to the floor so Kenny can roll up Rory for the pin.

Rating: F. From a technical standpoint this was fine, but I literally cannot think of a match that I have ever been less interested in. This match had absolutely nothing at all that made me care. I mean there was nothing at all in here that made me want to see any of these people wrestle again. This was a failure in that regard, which is a horrible result for these guys, and none of them would have a job in WWE two years from the date of this show.

We recap last week where Lawler had to wrestle a match against Chris Masters while being handcuffed to the top rope. Therefore tonight, Lawler is taking the Masterlock Challenge.

The Challenge is right now apparently. Masters takes forever to put it on and then it’s just like everyone else that has been in this. Hey, did you know Masters was really strong? Clearly it’s his fault that the gimmick never got over when that was all he was given to work with for years.

DX is in the back when Eugene comes in to try to claim the bounty. HHH hands him a roll of paper towels. Eugene punches the door and then charges into a food table.

Lita says she’ll beat Mickie James tonight.

HHH tries to use the bathroom but has to beat up Chris Masters instead.

Umaga vs. John Cena

Todd Grisham has jumped in on commentary to replace Lawler now. Umaga beat up Maria last week until Cena made the save. Cena is world champion and Umaga is undefeated here. The champ can’t hurt him to start and Umaga takes him down with an uppercut. A Samoan Drop puts Cena down and it’s time for a nerve hold. Cena fights up and hits the Throwback before knocking Umaga into the ropes ala Andre. Estrada tries to interfere but here’s Big Show (looking like he ate Umaga) for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t so much a match but rather angle advancement. Cena and Show were Survivor Series captains in a few weeks so there’s your explanation. This would be the Rumble main event as well as I think Armageddon where Cena had the classic man vs. a monster formula down to a tee. I still can’t get over how huge Show is though. I know he’s big today (August 2012) but he looks SLIM compared to how he looks in 2006.

The monsters destroy Cena.

DX comes in to see Coach and they already have a Benny Hill style video recap of the last hour. DX says Coach wins and they’ll leave, but Coach says they don’t get the $10,000. Shawn steals the money. Ok then.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Johnny Nitro

Hardy is challenging after Bischoff cheated to help Nitro get the title a week ago. Jeff grabs a headlock to start but quickly switches to the arm. Nitro is sent to the floor but misses a slingshot splash coming back in. Jeff pounds away in the corner but Nitro bails before the Swanton can be launched. Jeff is like screw that and dives on Nitro on the floor as we take a break.

Back with Jeff dropping the leg between the legs for two. Nitro comes back with the kick eventually known as the Flying Chuck for two and it’s chinlock time. Jeff grabs a quick sunset flip out of the corner but Nitro clotheslines him down again for two. Back to a chinlock by Nitro but Jeff breaks it pretty quickly again. Jeff makes a comeback but misses Whisper in the Wind to give the champ control again. A reverse powerbomb gets two for Nitro but he jumps off the middle rope into a powerbomb from Hardy which gets the same. Cool looking counter though.

The Swanton hits but Melina has the referee. Ross freaking out over it makes me miss him as compared to the laid back attitude of Cole. Nitro hits a neckbreaker but an AJ Styles Spiral Tap gets two. Jeff counters the pin out of nowhere into a rollup for the pin and the title. That came so fast that I almost had to rewind the video.

Rating: C. Not a great match here but it seems like it would have been better live. Hardy is a guy that is awesome when he’s flying around out there but Nitro wasn’t ready to be a real threat to him yet. Melina’s screaming gets very annoying very quickly but then again that’s the idea. Nitro would get better when he became John Morrison.

Nitro beats up Hardy post match and pulls out a ladder to further the attack with. I think I smell a rubber match.

DX is outside and HHH thinks they should use the money to go inside and buy tickets. They find scalpers instead (in the form of Cryme Tyme) but HHH can’t understand them. Shawn says he speaks jive. I wonder if they’ll catch an Airplane home after the show.

Carlito is reading a paper in the back when Torrie and some Daily Star (the paper he’s reading) girls come in. Apparently there are scantily clad women in there but Carlito says he’s reading the sports section. Torrie asks him out and invites him to stay in her hotel tonight.

We run down the Survivor Series card.

DX buys all the DX shirts from the merchandise stand. They throw them into the crowd and apparently my girlfriend caught one HHH threw.

Lita vs. Mickie James

Lita is Women’s Champion but this is non-title. DX is in the front row now. Apparently Mickie has to have her feet shackled together for some reason. Mickie says after the match Lita can have the shackles because she needs her legs tied together. Lita jumps Mickie to start and the champ is in full control. DX starts a Lita’s A Ho chant as this is completely one sided so far. The champ goes after them and slaps HHH but he sprays mustard on her. Back inside Mickie hits Lita with a salami (I kid you not) and hits the jumping DDT for the pin. Not really funny but good upskirt shots of Mickie are never a bad thing.

With Lita still recovering, here are Orton, Edge and Coach with the final of those three ejecting DX.

Tag Titles: Rated RKO vs. Ric Flair/Roddy Piper

Flair and Piper took the tag titles from the Spirit Squad so that they could drop the titles to Rated RKO. Seriously, would ANYONE expect the old guys to retain here? I know it’s spoiling things early, but dude come on. In case it wasn’t one sided enough already, Piper comes out first and gets double teamed with a chair by Rated RKO. Flair comes out to fight off Orton but Edge hits a Conchairto on Piper, making it a handicap match.

There’s a WOO banner that is longer than the side of the ring. That’s pretty impressive. Edge starts and Flair’s chops only get him so far here. Off to Orton who pounds Flair down in the corner some more. This is domination so far. A clothesline puts Ric on the floor where Orton suplexes him to follow up. Back inside and Edge hooks a chinlock. Flair ges a low blow on Orton so it’s back to Edge who gets chopped down. Orton misses a dropkick but as Flair loads up the Figure Four, Edge spears him down for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. The match sucked, but as I said earlier DX needed a credible pair to fight and giving Orton and Edge the titles gave them something to fight over. There was zero drama here and it wound up being a five minute squash. Edge and Orton would hold the titles into the new year until Shawn and Cena won them. HHH would get injured (again) in the big match between the teams but the idea was right.

DX runs out for the save and beats up security to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a tricky one. It’s not what I would call a good show as the best match (the IC Title) was the only one with any significant length. That being said, you can’t say stuff didn’t happen here as we had two title changes and a show long story. Cena was a complete afterthought here other than for about five minutes, but DX was entertaining so I’m not that angry. This is by no means a bad show but there’s nothing on it great. It’s a show that would be better served if you read the results online and Youtubed some highlights.

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