Monday Night Raw – December 14, 1998: DX Parodies The Corporation

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 14, 1998
Location: Tacoma Dome, Tacoma, Washington
Attendance: 17,508
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Rock Bottom and Austin buried Undertaker alive. On top of that, Rock is still world champion as we head towards the Rumble. Since there are three episodes of this show left in the year I’ll be running through all three of them instead of doing two and then coming back later. The main event tonight is Rock vs. HHH which would get a lot better in upcoming years. Let’s get to it.

We open with some stills of last night with Rock retaining the title because he passed out in the Claw instead of tapping. Also Kane helped Austin bury Undertaker alive.

Cole is on commentary because Ross had an attack of Bell’s Palsy.

We open with a pretty famous segment as DX imitates the Corporation. We’ve got HHH as Rock, X-Pac as Shamrock, Roadie as Vince (with two small guys attached to him as Patterson and Brisco) and Billy as Shane. Chyna is Boss Man I think. Road Dogg starts us off and his Vince imitation isn’t that bad. HHH has a painted on eyebrow and Billy isn’t wearing pants.

Road Dogg asks Brisco how things taste behind him. Billy shows off his thong and says that Vince certainly isn’t one of them. X-Pac says all this talk about sphincters is putting him IN THE ZONE!!! Chyna does a nice routine with a nightstick like a baton….until she drops it. HHH does a great heel Rock imitation by talking very slowly and talking about sticking his own head in his own anal cavity.

Here’s Commissioner Shawn played by…..some comedian who isn’t named. He has a basketball which he keeps dropping in a not very subtle illustration. Shawn calls himself HB-Gay and is intrigued by all this talk about sphincters. He doesn’t lay down for anybody because he’s always bending over. There goes the ball again. X-Pac is still IN THE ZONE. He gets in Shawn’s face and Shawn freaks out. HHH says if the Corporation doesn’t get what’s going on here, they’ve got two words for them. Not as good as the Nation parody but it was still great.

Cue the real Corporation to interrupt with Shawn talking about how DX will pay for this. It’s Outlaws vs. Shamrock/Boss Man again and HHH vs. Rock. Shawn: “Careful Rock. He’s only used to hanging out with main eventers.” It’s non-title just in case though. HHH says that’s a good idea because it was HHH who was beating up Rock every time they fought and he was the guy that took Rock’s IC Title. Rock says that was Chyna’s fault but he’ll put the title up tonight. Rock then goes into Hogan’s, Flair’s, Savage’s and Bret’s catchphrases before getting to his own. Talk about a random moment.

Back with Vince giving the Corporation a pep talk. They’re going after Kane later and a surprise is promised.

Val Venis/Godfather vs. Edge/Christian

I think this is the first pairing of the famous team on Raw. Edge and Val start things off with Val taking Edge down and pounding away. Off to Godfather who double teams Edge with a splash/legdrop combo. The not yet named Ho Train hits and here’s Val again, this time facing Christian. Godfather beats up both members of the Brood and a hooking kick gets two on Christian. Things rapidly break down and Val decks Gangrel before hitting a fisherman’s suplex on Christian for the pin. Short match.

Gangrel promises a blood bath tonight.

Steve Blackman promises to unmask the Blue Blazer tonight and prove that it’s Owen Hart.

Goldust vs. Blue Blazer

Shouldn’t this be Blackman given the promo and video we got of Blackman vs. Blazer before the match? Blazer hits a spinning heel kick which is an Owen trademark. The fans chant nugget as Blazer hits a neckbreaker. A middle rope elbow gets two and Blazer tries some kind of running springboard, only to slip off the ropes. Blazer enziguris him down and does an Owen WOO! Goldust hits the Curtain Call and loads up Shattered Dreams but Jarrett runs in for the DQ.

Blackman runs out and saves Goldust before unmasking the Blazer to reveal Owen Hart. Well ok, now what does this change?

One of the commercials for this show is for the VHS of Mask of Zorro. That’s one of my favorites.

DX and the Corporation are about to fight in the back.

D’Lo Brown/Mark Henry vs. Bob Holly/2 Cold Scorpio

PMS is with Brown/Henry, the latter of whom is now Sexual Chocolate. Before the match, Henry wants to talk about his date with Chyna. She invited him to her room and wanted him in her bed. Apparently Brown was filming it too. Well that sounds romantic. Chyna wore him out but before we can hear the details, Scorpio and Holly interrupt.

Brown and Holly start things off with Brown charging into a boot in the corner. Holly and Scorpio are the JOB Squad here. Scorpio comes in and superkicks Brown down but it’s off to Henry who doesn’t go down (at least not in a match) as easily. Back to Brown with the Sky High for two but a Swanton (yep, from Brown) misses. PMS distracts the JOB Squad and Jackie dropkicks Holly so Henry can powerslam him for the fast pin.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Big Bossman/Ken Shamrock

The Outlaws are defending. Shawn is out with the challengers. Also, last night Shamrock went after Billy’s leg with a chair. That becomes important later. Billy and Boss Man start things off and Boss Man knocks him down, only to have Billy ask him to do it again. Boss Man does it again and Billy doesn’t get up. Serves the idiot right. Off to Road Dogg who does about as well, getting sent into the corner with authority. Boss Man misses a charge and it’s back to Billy.

Boss Man tries to crotch him on the post but gets pulled face first into the post instead. Off to Shamrock who goes after Billy’s leg for a good while. Boss Man comes back in and Billy falls down while being whipped to the corner because of the leg work. Shamrock comes back in and tries a standing rana but Billy powerbombs him down to counter.

The double tag brings in Roadie to face Boss Man and Shawn cracks Road Dogg in the back with a chair. The Boss Man Slam gets two and Road Dogg hits Boss Man low for absolutely no penalty. Back to Billy but Shawn whacks him with a pipe. The ankle lock goes on but Billy is out and we have new champions.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t any good but it gave the Corporation yet another title. I believe http://onhealthy.net/product-category/muscle-relaxant/ they have everything but the European Title and the Light Heavyweight Title at the moment. Anyway this wasn’t much but at least it was short. The wrestling in the Attitude Era just wasn’t that good and most of the time that was because no one really cared about it. The fans were there for the drama and that’s about it.

Here are Vince and Shane with an announcement. Vince isn’t pleased that Austin won last night because now he gets to be in the Royal Rumble. It’s Kane’s fault that Austin won that match and tonight we’re going to fix Kane and Mankind by having them fight in a no holds barred match.

Vince and Shane step back to reveal a table with a tumbler on it. We’re going to pick Austin’s Rumble number right now, and wouldn’t you know it, he draws #1. Just to prove there’s nothing up, they draw again and Austin gets #1 again. Vince sweetens the Rumble pot a bit by saying that whomever eliminates Austin will receive $100,000. Tonight another participant will be announced as well. It’s someone that equals Austin’s skills. It’s the only person that could save WCW. It’s…..Vince himself! Vince hopes he’s #2 but he gets #30 instead.

The McMahons are about to leave but Mankind pops up on screen. Mankind, calling Vince dad, says that it should be Vince vs. Mankind tonight in the no holds barred match. Well maybe just a match. Vince throws down the mic without answering either way but he seems ticked off.

Back from a break with the Stooges trying to convince Vince not to fight tonight. Hey that rhymes two times.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Steve Blackman

This is a guitar on a pole match for reasons of Russo. Jeff says Debra WILL NOT strip tonight but she kind of wants to. Blackman gets in some quick strikes and goes for the guitar which goes nowhere. I think it’s the first person to pull the guitar down wins here. Jeff punches away but misses a dropkick. Debra shows off a little cleavage which does nothing to Blackman as he catches Jarrett climbing. Debra pulls her jacket almost off and Jeff gets the guitar. Both of them miss swings with it and the referee goes down. Owen runs in and blasts Blackman with another guitar to give Jeff the pin.

Rating: D. In a guitar on a pole match, we also had a run-in and a ref bump. Like I said, it’s Russomania at this point and that would never be clearer than at the Rumble. Everybody remembers the drama of the main events from this era, but most people forget the midcard, with stuff like Steve Blackman vs. Owen Hart which went on for MONTHS. It wasn’t all great stuff.

Tiger Ali Singh finds the word Bloodbath painted on his wall.

Vince says he’s going to take on Mankind.

Here’s Singh for a match I presume but the lights go out and the Brood’s music hits. Red lights keep flashing in the ring. The Brood appears and the lights go out. As they come back on, Singh is covered in blood. They would get better at this.

Mankind vs. Vince McMahon

No holds barred. Thankfully they turn off the red lights a few seconds into the match. They slug it out a bit before Mankind blocks a chokeslam with a knee to the ribs, only to get kicked in the head for his efforts. They head to the floor with Kane sending Mankind into the steps and then hitting a HARD shot with them to Mankind’s head. Kane sends Mankind into the corner and clotheslines him in the back of the head but Mankind knocks him to the floor. Here’s Vince who says Mankind can fight Vince in the parking lot right now. Mankind goes after him and the match is a no contest.

Rating: D+. The length of the match hurts this more than anything. Foley would be on to much bigger things in just a few weeks while Kane would do little of note for awhile. These hardcore brawls are only able to get things so far and the guys needed some actual matches to give them a break from the hardcore stuff.

During the break, Shamrock and Boss Man beat down Kane and had him put in a straightjacket.

We go to the back and Mankind is beating up Vince in the parking lot. Mankind beats him down and takes out the Stooges as well before putting Vince in the trunk of a car. Rock shows up for the save and Rock Bottoms Mankind on the hood.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. HHH

Shawn distracts HHH and Rock jumps him to take over. HHH comes back with clotheslines and pounds away in the corner before being thrown to the floor. Rock beats on HHH on the floor while jumping in on commentary to talk some trash. Back in and HHH hits the high knee and an elbow drop for two. Rock elbows him down and we hit the chinlock.

HHH tries a comeback but gets DDT’ed and put right back into the chinlock. Another comeback is stopped with a slam and the People’s Elbow for two. We hit chinlock #3 in way too short of a stretch of time. HHH comes back with a suplex and another high knee before stomping away in the corner.

After a quick bit on the floor, Shawn distracts HHH but Chyna uses the opportunity to low blow Rock. HHH hits a DDT for two and there’s the Pedigree, but the referee is with Chyna. Shawn hits HHH with the belt for TWO. Chyna goes after Shawn and a big guy who was a bodyguard for Motley Crue takes out HHH to give Rock the pin.

Rating: C-. This started off slow but by the end it picked up a lot. The bodyguard would later be named Test and he’s the newest member of the Corporation apparently. The kickout after the belt shot had the crowd losing their minds but they got very quiet in a hurry. This was one of the worst matches I’ve ever seen these two have, but then again it’s just a TV match at the end of the year so how much are you expecting?

Overall Rating: C+. For a show without Austin, this was pretty good stuff. They’re moving forward with a lot of angles and it’s nice to see the build for the Rumble starting already instead of burning off two weeks like they do today. Some of this stuff was dull but you can’t win them all I guess. Anyway, things are looking good going into 99, which is a good thing.

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