Monday Night Raw – October 22, 2012 – This Show Was A Punch To The Gut

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 22, 2012
Location: IZOD Center, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross

It’s the week before HIAC and the main event of Ryback vs. Punk for the title is finally set. There’s still a chance Cena will be thrown into the match but I’d really prefer if that wasn’t the case. Cena would overshadow Ryback which is one of the last things Ryback needs. The more I think about it, the less likely I think Ryback winning the title is, even though that might be the right move. Let’s get to it.

Tag Team Tournament Finals: Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara vs. Rhodes Scholars

We immediately start with this. That’s a nice change of pace. Apparently AJ has been called to an emergency meeting with the WWE Board. Well it has only been a month or so since the Board last weighed in so it must be time for that to happen again. Cara and Rhodes start things off but it’s quickly off to Rey for some double teaming. It’s off to Sandow who gets caught in 619 position but Damien bails to the floor. Cara takes Cody out with a suicide dive as Rey takes out Sandow with the seated senton to the floor.

Cara hits a sweet springboard moonsault for two on Damien but a top rope cross body misses to give the Scholars the advantage. Both Damien and Cody take turns hammering on Cara but an enziguri takes Cody down as we take a break. Back with Cody holding Sin Cara by the arm and slamming him down. A knee drop keeps Cara down and it’s off to Sandow. After the windup elbow it’s back to Cody who is caught in a tornado DDT.

Hot tag brigns in Rey who spins Cody around a few times and drop toeholds him into the corner for a split legged moonsault for two. A double 619 hits the Scholars and the top rope splash hits Cody, but Sandow dives under the referee’s arm. Now that’s an innovative way to do it. Cara pulls Damien to the floor but Cody hits the Cross Rhodes on Rey for the pin and the title shot at 11:18.

Rating: C+. I’ll give them one thing: for a match that was pretty obvious given what happened on Smackdown, that was a solid false finish off the top rope splash. The Scholars were the best option here as you need a heel team for HELL NO to face. WWE has done a good job making the tournament feel like a big deal and the match should be fine. Good opener here.

HELL NO says HELL NO the Scholars won’t win the tag titles. Kane pulls Bryan away by the beard and does the corner fire thing.

Kofi Kingston vs. Michael McGillicutty

Non-title here and Miz is on commentary. I wonder if we’ll hear about these two being paired on NXT. McGillicutty takes control to start with a headlock as Miz talks about how great he is. It’s Miz vs. Ryback tonight apparently. With nothing happening in the match, Kofi kicks Michael’s head off for the pin at 2:28. There wasn’t much else to say in there, but man is it nice to see them using the huge roster they’ve got for situations like this instead of having guys that are currently being used job away.

Recap of the end of last week’s show.

Some New York Giants are here.

Here’s Cena to the usual New York/New Jersey welcome. He talks about how this Sunday isn’t a normal show because on Sunday we see change. Change is 6’3 and 291lbs and all it hears in his head is FEED ME MORE. Cue Punk who talks about how the Giants suck but the Giants in San Francisco are awesome. He says that he’s the best in the world and the current count is at 337 days.

Punk says he’ll retain the title in the Cell but now he changes his focus to Cena. The champ says that Cena has finally realized that he can’t beat Punk. Cena says that he wasn’t allowed to beat Punk. What does that even mean? Cena is now officially medically cleared and wants to fight Punk right now. Cena takes his shirt off and looks to have lost some muscle mass. Like A LOT of muscle mass. Punk goes to the ring and Heyman says no because he’s got Ryback on Sunday. This really made me want to see the Punk vs. Cena match on Sunday. Wait, Cena isn’t fighting Punk on Sunday? You could have fooled me.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Justin Gabriel

This was good last week so hopefully it is again here. Cesaro gets the mic before the match and says something in a language other than English. I think he’s saying he’s the US Champion. Gabriel uses the distraction to dive over the top to take the champ (non-title here) down. Cesaro hits a quick hot shot to take over as JR reminds us that Cesaro says no American can beat him. JR: “Well he didn’t say anything about a South American.” We’ll ignore the fact that by the definition of the term, a South American would still be an American and focus on the fact that Gabriel is from South AFRICA, not South America.

Cesaro hooks a cravate before dropping Gabriel onto the buckle to take him down. Gabriel backflips out of the corner and hits a Nightmare on Helm Street for no cover. He loads up the 450 but gets crotched and Cesaro goes up. They slug it out on the top rope with Justin chopping him down. Cesaro charges back with another forearm shot but Justin kicks him in the head. There’s the 450 and it gets the pin at 4:40.

Rating: C. This started slow but it got a lot better in the end. I guess this sets up a rubber match on Sunday, but I wish it could have been through something else than a clean pin. At least the matches were both competitive and I wouldn’t mind seeing a third of these. On another note, Cole also screws up and says Gabriel missed the 450 last week. The move hit but Cesaro got a rope. I usually don’t notice commentary errors but those were glaring ones from both guys.

Vince is here and has AJ with him.

Vince and AJ are in the ring and apparently the Board has made a decision about AJ’s tenure as GM. AJ says that due to allegations of fraternizing with another superstar, she’s resigning as GM of Raw. She says the allegations are false and she could have been fired a long time ago, but some people just like crazy chicks. AJ talks about being raised near here and living in her car to being the boss of Raw. She thanks Vince….and here’s Heyman.

He says he was unaware of her life story and praises her for rising above everything including being a Jersey girl. Heyman lobbies for the job because someone has to take over immediately. Vince: “No.” Vince brings out someone who is not the GM but rather the managing supervisor of Raw. So they’re the GM. It’s Vickie Freaking Guerrero.

Heyman wants Vickie to give Punk the option of who he gets to face at HIAC. She says no and it’s Champion vs. Champion tonight. But wait, it’s a LUMBERJACK match. Good lord this is making me want to switch over to the debate. Heyman freaks out and Vickie yells at AJ for having an affair. Vickie throws AJ out so AJ goes psycho and attacks her, sending Vickie running away.

While we’re on a commercial, let me make this clear: I get that Vickie gets a lot of boos because of her catchphrase and she draws a good bit of heat. She’s a good choice as heel GM. That being said, I don’t want a GM. We flat out do not need one, or at least we don’t need one on TV five times a week making the same matches we get every week. You could save so much time by just having Cole say “I’m getting word from our GM that the main event tonight is so and so.” It saves time and you’ve got a match made. Freaking tweet it if nothing else. I can’t stand the GM concept and there’s no need for it to exist anymore.

Oh and anyone that says this is different than a GM or wants to correct me that it’s a managing supervisor or whatever it is, kindly shut up. It’s the same thing.

Ryback vs. The Miz

Miz looks worried about getting in the ring. Ryback finally pulls Miz into the ring and the beating begins. A big boot puts Miz down but he avoids the clothesline. Ryback hits the Vader body attack, a spinebuster, the clothesline and the Shell Shock ends this at 2:30.

Be A Star!

Eve is on the phone and lists off everyone AJ has been involved with. Kaitlyn comes up and accuses Eve being behind her attack at NOC. Kaitlyn shows her the picture of Eve’s iPad she took on Smackdown which freaks Eve out. Eve slaps the tar out of Kaitlyn’s mouth and they brawl until Layla comes in to break it up, then gets involved as well.

Sheamus is looking forward to the matches tonight and Sunday. Show comes in and hits Sheamus’ Brawling Buddy (a talking doll just like the old Wrestling Buddies. Those things were AWESOME!). This was nothing, as usual.

Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler

They go back and forth to start as I wonder which guy they seemingly want to push is going to lose here tonight. Ziggler tries to speed things up to start but gets caught in a leg trip and a surfboard with a handful of face by Bryan. Well that’s certainly effective. Bryan gets kicked into the corner but he rolls to the mat, and in something I’ve never seen before, puts on a Figure Four from his back. That was awesome.

Ziggler grabs a rope and heads to the apron where he suplexes Bryan to the floor. Daniel is holding his knee…and here’s Kane to look after his little buddy. We take a break and come back with Bryan speeding things up and moonsaulting out of the corner before hitting a corner dropkick for two. The NO Lock is escaped and a DDT gets two for Dolph. Vickie apparently has a surprise for HELL NO. Ziggler misses a charge in the corner and some part of him hits something hard with a THUD. There’s a suicide dive by Bryan and we head back inside.

Bryan goes up top but Ziggler runs the corner and brings him down with an X-Factor off the top for two. This is getting awesome in a hurry. Bryan comes back with a HARD NO Kick to the face. Kane tries to get the crowd to chant YES but Bryan hates it, allowing Ziggler to hit the Zig Zag out of the corner for the pin at 14:00.

Rating: B. This was getting awesome after the break as these two were trading bombs and it became about who could hold on longer than the other. That’s a great idea and it worked very well here. I’m not sure if I like the ending or not but at least it’s something that fits their characters. These two could have some awesome matches together and it’s nice to see Dolph get a win.

Bryan and Kane argue but Striker comes out and says Vickie has announced a game show for them tonight, which is apparently similar to the Newlywed Game. They’ll be playing the Scholars in it after the break. Before the game though, let’s recap the AJ/Vickie stuff from earlier.

It’s time for the game which is apparently called the Newly Tagged Game. Both champions introduce themselves with Bryan getting madder and madder with everything he says. Kane says he’s a Scorpio, he enjoys long walks on the beach, rainbows and puppies. Striker: “Is that true?” Kane: “HELL NO!” They argue again and here are the Scholars.

Sandow thinks this is stupid and won’t play. Cody agrees (“What he said”) and HELL NO wins by forfeit. Bryan goes nuts in celebration but Kane stands up, turns over his chair, and chases Striker off. Striker says he doesn’t wish the champs luck Sunday….and he backs into Big Show who throws him across the stage. I seem to remember hearing about Striker having some heat on him and there may be some truth to that.

Big Show vs. Kane

Joined in progress after a break with Show in control and things going slowly. A chop in the corner misses and Kane fires off some clotheslines to stagger Show. There’s a spear to put Kane down and Show headbutts him a few times. An elbow drop gets two and it’s off to a bearhug. Kane can’t slam him as this continues to go slowly. A running DDT gets two for Kane as does the top rope clothesline. The Scholars come out and the distraction lets Show KO Kane for the pin at 5:38.

Rating: D. Of all the slow and very boring Kane vs. Big Show matches I’ve seen, this is the most recent. These two have been fighting for thirteen years now and it’s the same matches every time: they’re slow, they’re boring, they’re not entertaining. Also, nice job of having both champions lose to guys they’re not fighting on Sunday. That really makes me care about that match.

The Scholars beat up the champs post match.

Santino is talking to AJ when Cena comes up. He says if AJ needs anything, let him know. AJ is mad about the affair allegation. Cena offers to go find who it was and hear them out. AJ says it was Cena and she resigned to not drag Cena into it. Apparently they had a business dinner. AJ thinks Vickie is behind this somehow. Cena promises to take care of this and hugs her.

Post break Cena goes to see Vince and asks about Vickie and the whole AJ deal. Vince says not now but Cena wants an answer. Vince says there was incriminating evidence. AJ was on probation so it was just a matter of time anyway. Vince says Vickie is an interim thing and “She’s a managing supervisor. I don’t even know what that means.” At least they’re admitting it now.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Zack Ryder

Picture a squash with an upper midcarder against a jobber to the stars. It ends with the armbreaker in 2:45. The only different move than you would expect here is a superkick from Alberto. Fill in the details yourself.

Post match the hold goes on again and Alberto shouting TAP RANDY TAP!

Cena comes in to see Vickie, she says respect me, Cena says it’s nothing, Vickie says Cena asked her out and they went to dinner so it’s Cena’s fault AJ is fired. Holy sweet merciful Christmas WHO DO THEY THINK CARES ABOUT THIS???

Ziggler says AJ deserved to be fired. Cena is to be blamed for all this.

Video on Ryback.

Punk is watching the video and Heyman says don’t let it get to you. It gets to Punk.

Sheamus vs. CM Punk

This is the LARGEST lumberjack match in history. Picture any lumberjack match you’ve ever seen. This is even more worthless than any of those you’ve see before. Both guys are sent to the floor early and only Punk is thrown back in by the lumberjacks. Punk gets taken down as the crowd is silent. Given the show they’ve sat through, I can’t say I blame them. Punk gets clotheslined to the floor and nothing happens.

A backbreaker gets two for Sheamus and there are some forearms to the chest, but Punk guillotines him down. A top rope clothesline gets two for Punk before Sheamus is sent to the floor and stomped. We take a break and come back with Punk working on the arm. Punk goes up top for a pair of ax handles but the third is blocked by a shot to the ribs. Punk comes back and in a great heel move, Punk goes up for the Macho Elbow but when it gets a face pop, he hops down and drops a regular one.

Off to a chinlock again but Sheamus fights up and hits the ax handles to take over. There’s the Regal Roll and Punk goes to the apron for his ten forearms. A suplex gets two for Sheamus but Punk comes back with a kick to the face that didn’t appear to hit at all. Punk charges into White Noise but Punk rolls through. The Cloverleaf is countered as well and there’s the running knee in the corner for two.

Sheamus superplexes him down for two but the Irish Curse is broken up. GTS is countered but Sheamus is sent face first into the middle buckle for two. That’s the exact same finish (other than the buckle not being exposed) from their match at Main Event. Nice touch. The Macho Elbow misses and there’s the Irish Curse for two. The Cloverleaf is broken up again and Sheamus is sent to the floor one more time. Back in Sheamus hits White Noise but Cesaro comes in and takes the Brogue Kick. Show chokeslams Sheamus but somehow isn’t seen, giving Punk the pin at 18:13.

Rating: C+. The match was fine but this show has just killed me dead all night long. I don’t care about this match and I don’t think anyone else does either, especially considering we just saw it three weeks ago on Main Event. But hey, that was a completely different match because there were lumberjacks here right?

Ryback immediately comes out and destroys Punk with power moves. Punk keeps trying to run but the lumberjacks keep stopping him. Ryback throws Punk at the lumberjacks and Punk gets in the fetal position to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Before I start on this, let me say that Bryan vs. Ziggler was a very good match which I enjoyed a lot. Gabriel vs. Cesaro was fine too as was the opener. Those matches are exempt from what I’m going to say. This show sucked away every bit of interest I had last week. Things tonight were all about Cena, AJ and Vickie. That’s it. That’s what this show was about. Oh and HELL NO also. Yeah they were here too.

The problem is Vickie Guerrero and some semi-love angle with Cena and AJ does nothing for me. When Vickie’s name was announced, it was like getting punched in the stomach. Vickie being the boss is pretty much the most counter productive thing they could do right now. I know it’s not likely going to last long, but we’ve done so many corrupt boss angles lately that it just doesn’t matter. Who is this story supposed to appeal to? I honestly can’t figure that out. Who is this supposed to draw in and how does it make me want to buy the PPV? If you can answer those questions, you’re smarter than I am.

Results

Rhodes Scholars b. Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio – Cross Rhodes to Mysterio

Kofi Kingston b. Michael McGillicutty – Trouble in Paradise

Justin Gabriel b. Antonio Cesaro – 450 Splash

Ryback b. The Miz – Shell Shock

Dolph Ziggler b. Daniel Bryan – Zig Zag

Big Show b. Kane – WMD

Albeto Del Rio b. Zack Ryder – Cross Armbreaker

CM Punk b. Sheamus – Pin after a chokeslam from Big Show

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