Lucha Underground – January 11, 2017: Hasta Eventually
Date: January 11, 2017
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker
We’re in a weird place at the moment in Lucha Underground as things are taking forever to get anywhere, though at the same time CAGE HAS FREAKING SUPERPOWERS. It’s hard to say where these shows are going to go from week to week but that can make things that much more interesting. Let’s get to it.
The opening recap looks at Dragon Azteca Jr. wanting to go after Matanza, Cortez Castro coming back to the Temple under a mask, Texano getting mad at Famous B. and Johnny Mundo picking All Night Long for his match with the Mack.
Councilman Delgado is in Dario Cueto’s office to talk about Cage with the gauntlet. Dragon Azteca comes in and wants a death match with Matanza, which is granted for tonight.
Vampiro says he’s coming for Mil Muertes at some point in the future.
Texano vs. Joey Ryan
Joey puts the lollipop in his trunks and Texano isn’t sure what to think. To be fair neither am I. A shoulder and slingshot hilo get two on Joey and it’s time to head outside because almost every match is a brawl around here. The lollipop comes back out and ignore the small, curly hair stuck on it. Back in and a kick to the ribs sets up a chinlock on Texano as this is less one sided than you would expect.
Cue Famous B. and Brenda in cowboy gear to recruit Texano. A middle rope leg lariat gets two on Joey but he grabs a t-bone suplex. Joey’s superkick gets two and Texano looks shocked (and rightfully so). With Famous B. distracting Joey, Brenda slips Texano a horseshoe to knock Joey out for the pin at 7:04.
Rating: D+. Seriously? Texano now needs Famous B. to beat Joey Ryan? The guy who rubs oil on his chest is now a match for someone as good as Texano? I’m hoping Texano doesn’t turn heel and become another Famous B. lackey as he’s hardly the most interesting heel in the world.
Texano shoves B. down and high fives fans as he leaves.
Here’s Mundo for a chat but the fans shout him down in Spanish. You can call him whatever you want because you also have to call him champion. He came here when this place was an upstart and beat everyone put in front of him. The Worldwide Underground believed in him though and that brings him to Mack. After some standard big guy jokes, Johnny says Mack can’t last all night long. Cue Mack for the fight and he actually beats up the entire team to stand tall. Mack says the title will be his.
Cage vs. Veneno
That seems to be Castro under his mask. Veneno is wearing a spider style mask and Vampiro says the name means poison. A few kicks have Cage in trouble until a Screwdriver crushes Veneno for the pin at 1:23.
Cage leaves and Sexy Star comes out to yell at Veneno, likely due to the spider mask.
Prince Puma is hearing Vampiro’s voices in his head when Catrina comes in to say it’s not the same after you die. All Puma can see is blood and pain but it’s Mil’s. Catrina sees the same, but it’s Puma’s.
Matanza vs. Dragon Azteca Jr.
Death match. Dragon fires off kicks to start as Vampiro goes on about bloody baseball bats. Matanza slugs him down though and throws in the first chair, which is of course pelted at Matanza’s head. The monster is knocked to the floor for a dive but he throws Dragon into the wall to take right back over. Dragon is carried up to the balcony but he grabs part of the ceiling and flips onto Matanza. In one heck of a scary looking spot, Dragon hurricanranas him down the steps (like TWO of them) but a chokeslam OFF THE BALCONY AND THROUGH A BIG BUNCH OF WOOD is good for an immediate stoppage at 6:34.
Rating: C+. That seems like a way to write Dragon off and while I’m not sure why they needed to do that, at least the match was fun while it lasted. You need to have Matanza be a monster for a bit and this is as good a way as anything else. Massacring jobbers is only going to get you so far and Matanza is WAY past that point already.
Rey Mysteiro comes back to go after Matanza and knocks him through Dario’s roof. Dario tells everyone to get out.
After the credits, Marty Martinez stalks Melissa Santos but Mariposa kidnaps him. She thinks he might be learning something but a slap to the face just makes him laugh.
Overall Rating: C+. This was an interesting enough show though as is often the case, it seems to be a way to set up for things later on instead of doing things that actually matter at the moment. It’s not a bad show but this forty week season is going on WAY too long and is really dragging the show down in the process.
Apparently this is a mid-season finale and the show will be back in the summer. That’s a very, very long time off and that’s not good.
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