Monday Night Raw – November 5, 2012: This Show Might Start Another War With Britain

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 5, 2012
Location: LG Arena, Birmingham, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross

We’re in England for another taped show here which usually don’t come off all that well. Survivor Series is in less than two weeks and while we have a main event not, it doesn’t really mean anything overall. The main issue tonight is finding out why Brad Maddox screwed Ryback out of the title at HIAC which is apparently opening the show. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of last week’s show with the announcement of the teams.

Earlier today (like the rest of the show), Miz asked Heyman what kind of a leader runs away from his team. Heyman says it’s the Art of War….and Miz QUITS the team!

Theme song.

We get a stupid narrator doing a voiceover about the stuff with Vickie and Cena last week. STOP DOING THIS ON WRESTLING SHOWS! IT SOUNDS FREAKING DUMB!

Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara/R-Truth vs. Prime Time Players/Antonio Cesaro

So much for Maddox starting the show I guess. Cesaro and Truth Tout to each other that they don’t like each other. Seriously? We go from Gabriel and Kidd to R-Truth? That’s the best they’ve got? The masked dudes make fun of the Players’ dance which is always funny. Cesaro and Cara start things off here and Antonio takes it to the mat. Cara will have none of that and nips up before hitting a quick rana to take Cesaro down. Off to Young vs. Truth with Darren getting in trouble fast.

Titus and Rey come in and the masked guys hit stereo kicks to a seated Titus for two. Truth does the same with a low dropkick for two and all six guys stare at each other as we go to a break. Back with Cara jumping in to hit Young in the arm before firing off forearms. Cara slips going up the ropes for the armdrag but it didn’t look terrible. Rey loads up the 619 on Young but Cesaro makes a blind tag and picks off Rey into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.

That gets two and here’s Titus for a series of backbreakers. Cesaro’s gutwrench sets up a front facelock on Rey but Mysterio sends him into the corner. Everything breaks down and Truth hits a suplex into a Stunner on Cesaro for two. Young’s gutbuster is escaped by Cara and it’s a 619 and Little Jimmy from Truth to pin Cesaro at 7:50 shown of 10:50.

Rating: C. Not bad here but this thing about Truth and Cesaro “developing a rivalry” that fast is a joke. No, Touting about each other and being in a six man doesn’t develop a rivalry. It means they’re setting up a match at Survivor Series and nothing else. Stop overhyping everything immediately as it makes things sound stupid. The match was fine.

Lawler is back next week.

We recap Vickie/Cena from last week again.

Here’s Vickie with some IRON CLAD video evidence of the affair between Cena and AJ. She shows us the SAME VIDEOS FROM LAST WEEK. GOOD FREAKING GRIEF WE AREN’T THIS FREAKING STUPID! Cena comes out before the new video is shown to interrupt Vickie and make fun of her a bit. “Vickie Guerrero running a clean show isn’t going to happen. It’s like me learning a new move. I’ve got five and that’s it.”

Cena brings up Vickie’s relationships with Edge and Ziggler but Vickie doesn’t seem to care. We get the video of AJ in a robe going into someone’s room but we can’t see who. Cena says that proves nothing but we get a clip of Cena in a towel coming out of the same room to get something. Cena says the footage is bogus and Vickie says the lies are exhausting. They’re not the only things kid.

Vickie wants AJ to come out here but she gets AJ on the screen instead. AJ says Vickie doesn’t want her out here because it’ll result in the beating of Vickie’s life and AJ will get fired. Ziggler pops up and puts his arm around AJ and implies she’s a w****. That’s it…again. As in YET AGAIN nothing happens in this story.

Heyman recruits Barrett (POP) to replace Miz. That would actually make sense so I doubt it’ll happen. Yep, Barrett turns him down because he doesn’t trust Heyman. Barrett steps off camera and immediately comes back on, saying he’ll join the team but Heyman owes him. Heyman says ok.

Daniel Bryan vs. Cody Rhodes

HELL NO gets one of the biggest pops of the night. Feeling out process to start until Bryan moonsaults out of the corner and starts firing off the kicks. Cody gets backdropped to the floor where Sandow jumps Kane. Bryan actually stands up for his partner by hitting the suicide dive to take out Sandow. Cody hits the Disaster Kick off the apron….and slides Bryan in for the Cross Rhodes and pin at 1:55? Great way to kill your hot crowd WWE.

Cody brags about the win and says Sandow could do the same to Bryan just as easily. Kane pulls Damien in, and apparently we’re doing the EXACT SAME THING that the Players and Mysterio/Cara did last week. Are they THIS bankrupt for ideas?

Kane vs. Damien Sandow

This is joined in progress after a break with Kane in control. Sandow gets in some offense but Kane is like boy please and knocks him back down. Bryan and Cody get into a fight on the floor and get ejected. Back to the match with Kane still in control. A side slam puts Sandow down and the chokeslam gets the pin clean at 3:58.

Rating: D+. Yep, it’s exactly the same thing they did a week ago with those other two tag teams, even down to the traded finishes. I’m utterly amazed at how creatively bankrupt this company seems anymore as it’s like they’re not even trying to do something interesting anymore. Between doing the exact same thing in back to back weeks and the STUPID AJ/Vickie/Cena thing and TOUTING to each other being grounds for a title feud, this first hour has been rather stupid so far.

Here’s Cole to talk to referee Brad Maddox. Naturally we have to see a video of something before we can advance though. I need to time how long we spend on recaps one week. Cole asks if Maddox is working with Heyman and Punk, but Brad says it’s all him. All his life, all he’s wanted to do is be a WWE Superstar. The fans keep chanting Feed Me More so this is taking a good while to get through. Maddox says he’s tried to get his foot in the door but it’s been shut over and over. He’s sent tapes everywhere and even once paid two grand for a tryout.

After all that, he was given a chance with a developmental contract. Even in developmental he wasn’t good enough because he doesn’t look right or wasn’t big enough or because he can’t flip enough. WWE told him he’d never get to the main roster but he wouldn’t let his dream die. He said he’d do whatever it took to get to the WWE, so he became a referee. When Raw got expanded to 3 hours, he only needed one chance to make an impact.

Maddox reiterates that Punk had nothing to do with it but Punk was shocked. Ryback and Punk and everyone else noticed him though and he’s famous. Maddox wants to face Ryback. Oh dear I hope that doesn’t actually happen. Here’s Vince to say that he doesn’t believe what Maddox is saying, but he offers Maddox a million dollar contract if he can beat Ryback next week.

Maddox gets out of the ring and Vince says hang on a second and goes to the back. He comes back with Vickie and asks her if she believes Punk was involved somehow. Vince leans on her a bit and she says she agrees, so Vince asks why Punk is getting to hide behind all these people in a Survivor Series match. Instead it should be a title defense against…..Dolph Ziggler? Vince says that’s the wrong answer so it’s now Punk defending against Ryback…and Cena. So to be clear, Vince can override Vickie (he threatened to fire her) but he just doesn’t for some reason most of the time. Good to know.

Sheamus vs. The Miz

Show comes out just behind Miz to watch the match. Sheamus runs Miz over to start but Miz slips down to the floor to avoid the forearms on the apron. Cole brings up the White Noise from last week and Show yells a lot. Miz pounds away in the corner but Sheamus comes back with the Regal Roll. The pale one drapes Miz over the top rope and pounds on him with the forearms to knock Miz to the floor. Sheamus gets sent into the announce table and Miz takes over.

Back in and Miz hits a kick to the chest and puts on a chinlock as we take a break. Back with Miz hitting a top rope ax handle for two. Off to a chinlock as Show torments Cole some more. Sheamus suplexes out of the hold but walks into the Reality Check. Miz’s corner clothesline is countered by the ax handle to the face. A knee lift looks to set up White Noise but Sheamus has to settle for a powerslam instead.

The top rope shoulder gets two for Sheamus but White Noise is countered again. The short DDT gets two and Show double dog dares Cole to bring up the 45 seconds reign. Miz avoids the Cloverleaf and the Brogue Kick, but Sheamus escapes the Finale and hits White Noise. Brogue Kick gets the pin at 14:40.

Rating: C. So. Freaking. What. That can sum up this entire show. Sheamus beats up Miz which is the only logical solution as Miz has nothing going on right now and we’re supposed to believe that a win over Miz means ANYTHING anymore. Sheamus vs. Show is probably the best story going on right now and even that is nothing special whatsoever. As I said, this whole show seems like it doesn’t matter at all.

Vickie comes out of Vince’s office to talk to Dolph It’s officially Team Ziggler at Survivor Series. Punk comes up to claim a conspiracy and goes on a rant about Vince. Tonight it’s Ziggler/Punk vs. Ryback/Cena. Great. ANOTHER worthless tag match.

Regal and Sheamus talk in the back and nothing is said.

We get almost the entire AJ/Vickie/Cena segment from earlier.

Eve Torres/Aksana vs. Layla/Kaitlyn

Aksana makes me feel better if nothing else. Aksana and Layla start things off with Layla grabbing a quick rollup for two. Layla tries her bouncing cross body out of the corner and thankfully Aksana decks her while she’s bouncing to take over. A kick to the face gets two for Aksana and it turns into kind of a fist fight which goes nowhere for the British chick.

Off to Eve for a front facelock to keep things slow. Eve kicks away Kaitlyn’s hand to stop the tag in a nice touch. The bouncing moonsault from Eve is blocked by Layla and there’s the hot tag to Kaitlyn. Everything breaks down and Eve hits that neckbreaker on Layla but Kaitlyn hits a bad reverse DDT for the pin on Eve at 4:58.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t as bad as most of their matches have been lately. Again it helps that they’re giving them some extra time, which sounds simple but it gives them more practice. When you literally triple the amount of time they’re getting on TV a week, the amount of practice also triples. It’s still nothing to get excited about, but it’s notably better than it was.

Alberto yells at Ricardo in the back when Rosa literally bumps into him. They both seem interested by the other.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston

During the entrance, we get clips of Orton and Del Rio fighting in the catering area on Smackdown. Has there been a match without a recap during the entrance so far tonight? Del Rio knocks Kofi down but Kingston comes back with a jumping back elbow. The announcers talk about who is going to be the new fifth member of Foley’s team. Is there a reason why Foley is involved at this point? Alberto pounds away in the corner and knocks Kofi to the floor.

Back in and Del Rio hits a double stomp and a suplex for two followed by a body scissors. Alberto works on the arm as this is dragging along. Kofi avoids a charge and Del Rio’s shoulder hits the post now. The fans are pretty dead for this. Some dropkicks put Alberto down and there’s the Boom Drop. The armbreaker is countered and the SOS gets two for Kofi. Kofi misses a springboard cross body….and here’s Orton. Well his music at least, allowing Kofi to roll up Del Rio for the pin at 7:45.

Rating: C-. This match felt like it went on for about twenty minutes instead of just under eight. Ignoring the idea of Kofi, the IC Champion, needing help from Orton to get a rollup win, the match was really dull with Del Rio continuing to be boring in the ring with his really basic arm work. Nothing to see here.

Orton comes in and hits the RKO on Del Rio post match.

We recap the Brad Maddox and Vince thing from earlier.

Santino Marella/Zack Ryder vs. Epico/Primo

Primo vs. Santino to start things off with marella taking him to the mat. Santino asks for a break and Santino starts marching around the ring. Off to an armbar by Marella and there’s the tag to Ryder. Zack misses a cross body and the cousins take over with stomping in the corner. Ryder grabs a rollup but Santino is arguing with the referee for some reason. Epico comes in and hits a dropkick for two. Off to the chinlock for a few seconds before Ryder escapes a suplex and hits a neckbreaker. There’s the tag to Santino and everything breaks down. Santino busts out the Cobra and lays out Epico for the pin 5:05.

Rating: D. Another boring match here which went on too long. I’ll give them this: they’ve developed a lower card for the tag teams now. This one was for the crowd though as the fans love Ryder and Santino. The match was fine enough I guess, but this show has been so draining already that it’s hard to care.

Brodus Clay vs. Wade Barrett

Brodus’ face looks different. Did he have facial hair and I never noticed it? Brodus hits his suplex and a legdrop for two. Barrett comes back with the Boss Man Slam and it’s off to a chinlock. Brodus hits a splash in the corner but a second one misses and it’s the Souvenir for the pin at 2:58. Just an extended squash.

Heath Slater vs. Jey Uso

THE USOS ARE STILL ALIVE! Slater plays the guitar to start but Jey charges into a boot in the corner. Slater plays more guitar and it’s off to a chinlock. Jey fights back but it’s time to hit that chinlock again. Back up and a side kick to the face gets two for Heath. There’s the third incarnation of the chinlock but Jey fights up and hits a superkick. Then he stands around before doing anything. A top rope splash hits knees and Slater hits an inverted DDT for the pin at 3:58. The DDT is called the Smash Hit apparently.

Rating: D. I love the 3MB. They’re so stupid and goofy and they’re exactly what these horribly boring Raw’s need. They’re the kind of act where you can totally turn your brain off and just have fun for about five minutes. Their promos are hilarious and they make the show fun for just a few moments. I mean, we can do that on anything else on the show, so take it where you can get it. Also the DDT is a way better move than that sleeper drop Slater used forever.

Here’s Punk before the main event with something to say. He talks about how he beat Ryback but people are trying to taint his victory because of Maddox. Punk says he’s going to get screwed by Vince at Survivor Series but he’ll win anyway because he’s the best in the world. We’re at 351 days, so Survivor Series is a big moment for him.

CM Punk/Dolph Ziggler vs. Ryback/John Cena

Cena vs. Punk starts things off and they fight over a top wristlock. It’s quickly off to Ziggler who gets caught in a surfboard submission. A bulldog puts Ziggler down and it’s off to Punk who is hiptossed for two. Double teaming puts Cena down and Ziggler drops about ten elbows for a two count. Back to Punk for a kick to the back of Cena’s head for two. Punk works on the arm but Cena hits an AA out of nowhere to put Punk down.

Back to Dolph who gets two off a Fameasser as does Punk off a neckbreaker. An electric chair puts Punk down again and it’s back to Ziggler. Dolph goes up but misses a missile dropkick and there’s the hot tag to Ryback to face Punk. Ryback destroys both guys and Meathooks Ziggler to the floor. Another Meathook puts Punk down and the Shell Shock gets the pin at 10:12.

Rating: C. This was your normal main event tag and it’s so cute that they want us to believe that Ryback has a chance in the main event of the PPV. Cena is there so they can keep the title on Punk without having Ryback get pinned again, because the stupid Rock vs. Punk match needs to happen, because….screw it. This is freaking dumb and having the match set seven months in advance was STUPID because no matter what Punk does, he’s never near Rock or Cena’s level and no one is going to believe Punk has a chance against Rock, but in modern WWE, who freaking cares because that’s what they want to do.

Ryback and Cena stare at each other to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. The wrestling on this show, while long and drawn out at times, was mostly fine with some decent matches, but at the end of the day the show falls apart in the third hour when it’s clear that they’re filling in time however they can. The fact that they’ve changed the entire top of the card of the PPV a week later tells me they have no idea what they’re doing and no plan at all. Tonight’s show felt like it should have ended at about 10pm and the last few matches just dragged and dragged, which isn’t something you want to see.

I have no idea what they think they’re going to do to fix things, but if they think Rock is the solution to all of their problems, they’re in trouble. WWE has been able to turn it on in a single night before, but this is as bad as I can remember it being. It’s like they have no clue what they want to do or where any of this is going. Cena and Vickie’s feud is now thrown into a world title match which has nothing to do with Vickie and Ziggler is in the Survivor Series match to somehow feud with Foley who wasn’t even here tonight. This show is a huge mess anymore and a lot needs to change, starting with losing an hour.

Results

R-Truth/Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio b. Antonio Cesaro/Prime Time Players – Little Jimmy to Cesaro

Cody Rhodes b. Daniel Bryan – Cross Rhodes

Kane b. Damien Sandow – Chokeslam

Sheamus b. The Miz – Brogue Kick

Kaitlyn/Layla b. Aksana/Eve Torres – Reverse DDT to Eve

Kofi Kingston b. Alberto Del Rio – Rollup

Santino Marella/Zack Ryder b. Primo/Epico – Cobra to Epico

Wade Barrett b. Brodus Clay – Souvenir

Heath Slater b. Jey Uso – Smash Hit

Ryback/John Cena b. CM Punk/Dolph Ziggler – Shell Shock to Ziggler

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