ECW on TNN – March 24, 2000: They’re Trying. Goodness Help Them They’re Trying.

ECW on TNN
Date: March 24, 2000
Location: Ice House, Salem, New Hampshire
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

Things have changed a bit after the last PPV but it still isn’t anything worth seeing yet. Hopefully things can pick up a bit now that we have a new main story with Awesome and Raven teaming up as the new big bads. As long as I don’t have to sit through the hardcore nonsense even more, things should be ok. Let’s get to it.

Joey and Joel do the intros with Gertner ripping into Cyrus with nothing special.

Opening sequence.

Joey brings out TV Champion Super Crazy and we get the same video from last week on how he won the title at Living Dangerously. Crazy says something in Spanish and here’s his first opponent: Tajiri. Before the match can start here’s Cyrus to say he’s the boss so this is a Japanese death match, which I think means anything goes. Joel goes after Cyrus but is threatened with being arrested and fired. Cyrus shoves Joey as well so Styles takes off his jacket, only to be met with the same threats. If Joey hits him, the show is off the network and will go back to the stone age. Joey backs down and Cyrus gets to stand tall.

TV Title: Super Crazy vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri

The match starts after a break with Crazy being whipped into the barricade. Back inside and Tajiri hits a hard kick to the head and the handspring elbow but Crazy dropkicks him back to the floor. An Asai Moonsault into the crowd takes Tajiri down again before getting two off a moonsault press back in the ring. Crazy pounds away with right hands in the corner but Tajiri comes back with a quick victory roll for two and a HARD kick to the head puts Crazy down.

That’s too much wrestling though so here’s a chair, only to have Crazy dropkick it back into Tajiri’s face. Tajiri comes back with a chair to the Crazy’s head and an even bigger one puts the champion down again as we take a quick break. Back with Tajiri tossing in a table as Crazy is busted wide open. A top rope double stomp puts Crazy through the table for two so Tajiri brings in another table. Crazy comes back with a powerslam through the table and slides in a third because why have two when you can have three. A moonsault doesn’t put Tajiri through the table so Crazy powerbombs him through it for the pin.

Rating: D+. How exactly was this different from any run of the mill ECW match? The Japanese death part of the match was just a bunch of table spots which you can see anytime around here, which is the problem with having a hardcore company: it takes away from the shock value of it when the match is supposed to be something special.

Post match Corino, Victory and Rhyno come in to destroy Crazy until Sandman makes a three minute entrance for the save. As is always the case, the heels just stand there while Sandman drinks in the crowd. Tajiri hits the mist on Sandman, allowing Rhyno to Gore him down. Sandman and Rhyno both get piledrivers.

Back from a break and the Network is still in the ring with Cyrus saying no one can stop them. If anyone wants to fight them, come out here right now and do it. This brings out Balls Mahoney with his chair and the goons bail on Cyrus for some reason. He realizes he’s on his own but Corino saves him from death. The segment FINALLY ends after taking up literally over half of the show.

Earlier today Da Baldies beat up Tommy Dreamer in front of a Coke machine. Apparently Raven has put a bounty on Dreamer’s head.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Vic Grimes

Dreamer jumps Grimes on the floor and sends him into the post to draw early blood. They head into the aisle where a spotlight staring straight into the camera blinds us for a bit. The brawl goes into the crowd and I don’t think there was ever a bell. They fight into a penalty box as you can barely see a thing in this mess. Back to ringside and Dreamer hits him in the back with a chair but Grimes hits a powerslam on the floor to take over.

Now they head to the back of the arena for more walking around with the occasional punching called brawling. Grimes gets on top of a scaffolding and drops an elbow onto Dreamer on the concrete. Da Baldies carry Dreamer back to ringside and crotch him on the barricade. Back inside and a top rope splash is only good for two because the people in ECW won’t get pinned if they get their heads cut off while wild horses attached to their limbs run off in all four directions.

Back to the floor with Dreamer sat in a chair so all of Da Baldies can pound on him. Grimes tries a running flip dive but lands on the apron before falling on the empty chair. Dreamer pulls out a ladder for no apparent reason before tying Angel (another Baldie) up in the Tree of Woe. Dreamer catapults the ladder into the Baldies’ faces and drops them with a double DDT. Grimes is dragged back into the crowd and placed on a table so Dreamer can drop an elbow of his own. Back in the ring and Grimes blocks a DDT but misses a Swanton onto the ladder, giving Dreamer the pin.

Rating: N/A. This wasn’t wrestling of any sort at all. It was a bunch of messy spots with a few wrestling moves thrown in for fun. This is the kind of nonsense that just keeps going and going while eating up the limited television time they have. The Raven vs. Dreamer stuff was played out three years ago but it’s all the GENIUS Heyman can come up with.

The yet to be named Sinister Minister is in the ring and says that he came up with the idea to pair up Raven and Awesome. Oh yeah that’s a thing. I had forgotten they were a pairing until now. Francine is in the ring with him but he berates her for a bit before handing her the mic. She brags about all the success she’s had in ECW and doesn’t like him taking credit for her success. Francine claims she’s behind Awesome and Raven, so here are the Impact Players to stare down Awesome and Raven as the show ends.

Overall Rating: D. That’s on the ECW sliding scale. This was a tricky episode to grade because they did have stories going on, but the stories either aren’t interesting or are just being teased instead of actually going anywhere. The wrestling was bogged down by more hardcore nonsense, which is going to cost them in the long run. It’s fine to have once in awhile but when that’s all you have, the effect is gone in a hurry.

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