Monday Nitro – September 11, 2000: That 70’s Bus

Monday Nitro #257
Date: September 11, 2000
Location: Independence Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Mark Madden, Tony Schiavone, Jeremy Borash

It’s the go home show for Fall Brawl and we’re now back to the build for the pay per view after last week’s stand alone WarGames (in name only) show. Unfortunately that leaves the whole card starting from a dead end as last week had nothing to do with Booker vs. Nash or Steiner vs. Goldberg. Instead, we have a big story of David Flair marrying Miss Hancock and a possible Ric Flair appearance in another stand alone story. Let’s get to it.

David arrived earlier and Crowbar, Ozzy and Daffney greeted him to bury the hatchet. No sign of Ric though.

Jeff Jarrett thinks he should offer some entertainment for the wedding.

Opening sequence.

The arena lighting seems dark, probably to hide a low attendance.

Tag Team Titles: Filthy Animals vs. Kronik

Rey and Juvy are defending. Before the match, Disqo runs his mouth and ticks Kronik off even more after the Animals were laid out on Thunder. It’s a brawl to start as Konnan talks about throwing Rey in quicksand. We settle down to Adams pounding Juvy in the corner and hitting a quick F5, though the landing looked more like a DDT. Rey gets a blind tag and the Animals actually double suplex Adams. That’s quite the surprise but you can only be so shocked when Konnan is talking about no selling and taking bumps.

Clark comes in and plants Juvy with a full nelson slam but Adams gives Rey an even bigger one. Cue the Harris Twins (of course) for a distraction, allowing Disqo to hit Clark with a chair and give him the Last Dance on the floor. Back in and Juvy’s 450 (he hit the mat first) only gets two. Instead it’s the What’s Up with the legdrop (named the Nutcracker) retains the titles.

Rating: C. Such is life in WCW. I was actually starting to get into this until the Twins came in to screw things up. It’s interference to set up a match that isn’t interesting and most people don’t want to see, but for some reason we’re getting the Harris Twins in the top spot instead of ANYONE else. Also, what was up with wasting the 450 near the end?

Stacy Keibler arrives.

Recap of WarGames, complete with the line of “it’s another Russo swerve!”

Tony promises an update on Vince Russo, who has suffered his third concussion in three months. I understand that concussions are bad, but I’m having issues feeling sorry for Russo when he keeps injecting himself into these big matches. He’s getting all the glory in the matches and that comes with the damage. It’s almost like someone of average size shouldn’t be getting destroyed by people the size of pro wrestlers. Apparently Russo has had to have brain surgery. Tony: “Tonight: a wedding and brain surgery.”

Here’s the Cat to say he’s in charge because Russo’s injunction was thrown out of court. Therefore, Booker vs. Nash on Sunday is now in a cage. As for tonight though, Nash is defending the title against Scott Steiner. That leaves Jeff Jarrett, who Miss Jones wants to fight. Jarrett comes out and promises to win and prove that men are superior to women. He’s even willing to wrestle handcuffed. Cat and Jeff start fighting until Steiner comes out to put Cat in the Recliner.

Booker and Sting (without paint) arrive and don’t seem worried that Steiner and Jarrett are taking over.

Big Vito vs. Reno

Stick ball bat on a pole, which is how things go in the neighborhood apparently. It must be one of the slums of Parts Unknown. Palumbo is here with Reno. Vito starts fast with a Japanese armdrag but has to go after Palumbo. A quick suplex drops Reno but the referee gets bumped. Vito grabs the stick, only to have Reno lay him out with the Roll of the Dice for no count. Cue the returning Johnny the Bull to help stand off with the Thrillers, only to turn on Vito (a full THIRTY SECONDS after coming out to defend him), giving Reno the pin.

The rest of the Thrillers come in to beat Vito down. I can’t get over the fact that this is supposed to be a swerve. It really was just thirty seconds.

Cat yells at Booker and Sting for being late but they leave together.

Steiner/Jarrett/Nash say they’re in charge tonight. Booker/Sting/Cat come in with the latter saying he’s in charge.

Madusa says she doesn’t like the women around here even though she trained them. Therefore, tonight she gets to beat up Torrie Wilson.

Torrie Wilson vs. Madusa

The announcers talk about the history of scaffold matches and we actually get a Jim Cornette reference. Madden: “Cornette fell off the scaffold and ended his career. He just doesn’t know it yet.” Madusa beats on her for about twenty seconds before Shane comes in for the DQ.

Post match Shane puts Madusa in an STF (of course) until Kidman comes in for the save. Yeah these two are feuding in case you forgot. Madusa adds herself and Torrie to make it a tag team scaffold match on Sunday. Did they really forget the lessons from Great American Bash 1991?

Crowbar helps David get ready.

Jimmy Hart hands Miss Hancock an envelope.

Mike Awesome shows up in That 70s Bus.

Nash suggests that Steiner lay down for him tonight.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Miss Jones

Apparently Goldberg is going to be enforcer in the World Title match. Jarrett rants about “broads” thinking they can compete with men in this ring. Remember Jeff is going to wrestle handcuffed. Tony: “That means he can’t use the Stroke or the guitar.” Yeah the guitar is illegal here, meaning it’s legal otherwise. Cat gets in a few cheap shots before the bell and Jones hammers away, only to kick the referee low by mistake. Jeff kicks her in the ribs to break up a guitar shot before knocking her out with it for the pin.

See, if they actually wanted to go with something interesting here, have the trained wrestler Madusa fight Jarrett in what could be an entertaining match. Instead, we get another woman getting beaten up with little to no defense.

Anyway post match, Awesome comes out to beat up the still handcuffed Jarrett.

Nash is drawing his plan on a dry erase board. After some jokes about anatomy, Steiner thinks he should win and throws a marker. Just have them SWERVE us already so they can laugh.

Post break, Jarrett is annoyed at Nash for not coming down to help him (Nash and Steiner had said they were turning off the monitor so it’s not a huge issue). Jarrett tells Nash to deal with their stupid friend.

Here’s Jim Duggan with something to say. Duggan is so thankful to have gotten through cancer and is glad to be back here with the fans. However, in the last few weeks, he’s been realizing that he can’t beat Father Time. He’s been around for twenty years and unlike some people, he’s fine with stepping aside so the young talent can make wrestling into something we can all be proud of.

Duggan announces his retirement before talking about how he needs someone to take up the 2×4 and the American flag. That man is General Rection and there goes the idea. Rection comes out and shakes Duggan’s hand but here are Lance Storm and Major Gunns (now in a Maple Leaf top and white shorts) with the former saying no one cares about this. A non-title match is set up and we’re on.

Lance Storm vs. General Rection

Storm stomps him down to start as Duggan jumps in on commentary to say “come on Hugh.” A suplex brings Rection over the ropes for two but he powerbombs Storm out of the air for two. No Laughing Matter misses and the Maple Leaf goes on but Duggan points out the arm under the ropes. Duggan gets knocked off the apron so he hits Storm with the 2×4, right into a powerslam for the pin. Well at least Duggan didn’t turn on America. That would have been ridiculous.

Stacy opens the letter she got earlier and freaks out.

It’s time for the wedding with the bride and groom down to the ring in a hurry. Naturally we get a promo with David talking about how he’s let a lot of people down. That means he’d like Arn Anderson to come out here right now. Anderson says it might not be today and it might not be tomorrow, but his 21 year old buddies are going to call him and ask him to do something. It’s easier to get forgiveness than permission.

Also hide some of that wedding money because one day you’re going to come home late and she’s going to get mad, but then she’ll tell you to go get a good night’s sleep. When that happens, take that money and RUN. That’s all the advise from Arn, which is a shame because that was hilarious.

David isn’t done yet though as he wants someone special down here as his best man: his dad, Ric Flair. Cue a smiling Ric, now with hair again (though it’s a bit spiky now instead of the classic style). Ric says he’s a proud father tonight and he can’t wait to have this beautiful woman as part of his family in the greatest city in the world. No drama here so it’s time for the wedding.

As the minister goes on, here are a bunch of security guards and cops to arrest Ric. Apparently Vince Russo has taken out a restraining order against him and Ric has to be arrested for coming within 100 feet of this building. Ric is arrested and taken away, sending Stacy running out of the ring. So in other words, even when he’s not here, HAHA MANLY RUSSO WINS!

After a break, Ric is put in a cop car and driven away. Arn promises to bail him out as soon as possible.

The announcers talk and you can see that the entire section off the floor behind the desk is empty. The whole arena only holds 9,600 people and assuming they have most of the fans on one side of the arena, they MIGHT have 2,000 people there.

We see some of Russo’s beatings and now it’s time for the video of his brain surgery. It’s accompanied by a doctor talking about how hard this has been on Russo and how he’ll be out for a long time. You know, because we need to feel sorry for our top heel. Tony doesn’t buy the story so maybe it’s not as stupid as it seems.

Sting vs. Harris Brothers

If Cat is in charge tonight, why did he book Sting like this? The Brothers have chains for whatever reason but Sting hits the Splash and gets Don in the Deathlock in about a minute. Ron makes the save so here’s Kronik with chains of their own to choke out the twins. The beating goes on for a long time and Sting is put on top for the pin. What was the point here? Sting has a match on Sunday but other than a quick mention, this was all about Kronik and the Brothers.

Steiner yells at Jarrett.

Stacy is still freaking out when David comes in. He doesn’t care about anything that happened tonight because he just wants to marry her. Stacy says no but he talks her into it.

It’s time for another try at the wedding with the minister talking about trust. That’s too much for Stacy because, shock and awe, David isn’t the father of the baby. David freaks and Stacy runs off. The announcers find this funny for some reason.

Post break, Stacy jumps in a limo and David can’t get there. We pan over to Awesome escorting Pamela onto the bus until Jarrett lays him out. The Thrillers come in to keep up the beating.

Steiner yells about his freaks and the Earth rotating on a 47 degree axis. He’ll beat on Goldberg too.

The announcers talk again and fans have been moved in to fill in the gap. I’m stunned that the production staff actually pays attention. Or that they exist for that matter.

WCW World Title: Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner

Nash is defending, Cat is on commentary, Booker T. is guest referee and Goldberg is enforcer. Before the match, Booker promises to get the title back on Sunday. Steiner (still with a protective mask on) isn’t interested in the fingerpoke so Nash tries to leave. That’s not cool with Scott so they actually start fighting. Nash takes over to start until Steiner scores with a clothesline and the bicep elbow. Booker counts slowly and it’s time to beat up the referee. Goldberg comes in and I’m assuming the match is thrown out somewhere in there.

Another referee tries to come in but gets sent to the floor as Steiner suplexes Goldberg. Booker is down on the floor and Cat stays on commentary as the good guys are beaten down. Cat finally takes a chair away from Steiner, allowing Goldberg to start his comeback. It’s Booker beating on Nash as it’s clear that a tag match would have been a decent idea here.

The other referee is circling this stuff like it’s a match for whatever reason….and here’s That 70s Bus down the aisle. The Thrillers come out and start brawling as well, followed by Jarrett with a pipe. Booker gets powerbombed and thrown through the windshield. Now it’s Goldberg being handcuffed to the front of the bus but he breaks the grill off as we go off the air.

Overall Rating: F. I know I say this a lot but what a mess this was. Sunday’s two big matches were set up a bit but there was just so much other stuff going on that there’s no way to get behind the show. The ending was a disaster and just another part of all the messiness that bogged the show down. The longest match was about four minutes (the opener) and the rest of the show was a combination of men beating on women, the double wedding and short angles disguised as matches.

I really don’t have an interest in Sunday’s show and so much of that is because I can barely remember most of the card. As usual, one of the major problems of this kind of booking is trying to keep track of why something happened. Why are Goldberg and Steiner fighting? I’m not entirely sure, though I’m sure it was some swerve that came a few weeks ago. The swerves kind of run together after awhile, especially when you can see them coming so far away. Russo really doesn’t have a ton of ideas and once you get a handle on him, any magic he might have goes away in a hurry. Really bad show this week but that’s to be expected.

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