Lucha Underground – September 6, 2017: Donuts, Coffee and Medallions
Date: September 6, 2017
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker
We’re less than a month away from Ultima Lucha Tres and that means it’s time to start filling out the card. The big story this week is a street fight between Cortez Castro and Joey Ryan, who have been feuding for months now, partially due to the whole….I’m going to stop there because this company’s storylines are really complicated. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the tournament finals before moving on to the Worldwide Underground and the collection of the seven medallions. Above that though, Matanza is coming for Rey Mysterio, which can only end badly.
Aztec Medallion: Drago vs. The Mack
Drago wastes no time with a running dropkick and a tornado DDT, only to have Mack shove him away without much effort. Mack does a headstand in the corner, earning himself an enziguri. La majistral gets two and Mack is in some trouble. He’s fine enough to elbow Drago in the mask but Kobra Moon gets on the apron for a distraction. A quick Dragon’s Lair gives Drago the pin and the medallion at 3:46.
Rating: D+. I wasn’t feeling this one as it didn’t have much time and the whole Drago/Moon thing has killed off a lot of interest I’ve had in both of them. Mack hasn’t done much since losing to Johnny Mundo and this is a pretty big loss for him. He doesn’t have anything as we head towards Ultima Lucha and hopefully he’s not stuck with these people.
Post match Mack Stuns Drago and gets beaten down by the rest of the Tribe.
Back from a break with Dario Cueto in the ring. Next week will be the 100th episode so we’ll be having some big matches. First up, we’ll have the Worldwide Underground vs. Prince Puma and a team to be announced later tonight. In the main event though, Rey Mysterio will face Matanza. Dario brings Rey out and tells him to leave the building before Matanza’s match tonight. If he doesn’t, Dario will fire Dragon Azteca Jr. That’s cool with Rey, who promises to destroy the Cueto legacy next week with Dario coming next.
Aztec Medallion: Cortez Castro vs. Joey Ryan
5-0 street fight, meaning there’s a bunch of police themed stuff around the arena. Dario runs to start so Castro follows him outside for some chops. A tornado DDT on the floor has Joey in trouble, because dropping someone head first onto concrete doesn’t knock them cold like it used to.
Back in and Joey gets in a slam and sets up a riot shield in the corner. Joey hammers on him with some handcuffs to bust open Castro’s head. Now it’s some nightstick shots to the back so Striker can make Big Boss Man jokes. With nothing else to do, Joey puts on a plastic glove and lubes up his hand to….yeah you can figure that one out for yourselves. That’s enough to fire Castro up (not the most shocking thing in the world) and he knocks Joey outside, sending him through some of the cops. Fans: “WE WANT DONUTS!”
Joey goes face first into the police cruiser but Castro misses a swing with a ball bat. Instead Joey grabs a sledgehammer (HHH jokes abound), only to hit the windshield by mistake. Castro gets dropped onto the hood of the car anyway but it’s time to go to the snack table.
That means hot coffee down Joey’s trunks and Castro tases him there for a bonus. Naturally Joey is right back with a superkick to drive a box of donuts into Castro’s face as Striker talks about an Aztec medallion. The balance from the commentary to the match isn’t exactly working. Back in and Castro maces him, followed by a running Samoan Driver onto the riot shields for the pin at 13:02.
Rating: C. I wanted to like this match and they were getting somewhere in the beginning with the blood and violence, but then they went flying off a cliff. I really don’t need to see Joey lubing up his hand, having hot coffee poured down his trunks and superkicking a box of donuts. Yeah it’s a police themed match, but you can either go with the theme or go with the story. Trying to do both turns it into a mess, which is what happened here.
Rabbit Tribe vs. Matanza
Matanza is offered a hat to start but dancing doesn’t work so well. Vampiro explains various drug cults as Matanza is sent outside for a dive from Saltador and a plancha from Mala Suerte. Back in and a series of dropkicks has Matanza reeling but they stop for some more dancing. Matanza actually dropkicks the trio down but Easter eggs to the head are good for a distraction. A pair of superkicks sets up London’s shooting star for two and that’s enough for Matanza. House is cleaned in a hurry and the Wrath of the Gods ends Saltador at 4:46.
Rating: D. Now this one missed a lot more than the previous match. I really like the Rabbit Tribe as they actually feel like chaos instead of what usually passes for such in a wrestling promotion. However, this was a lot of running around being goofy yet still having success against a monster like Matanza. The ending was the right call but dang I didn’t like how they got there.
Here’s Prince Puma to announce his team for next week. Before he can get to the announcement though, here’s Mundo to say he’s going to take Mundo to Slam Town at Ultima Lucha, just like he did on the first episode. Puma brings up beating him to become the first champion, which Mundo takes as confidence. If Puma is so confident, let’s make it title vs. mask. The deal is made but here’s Dario to interrupt. Since we already have a mask vs. mask match at Ultima Lucha (We do?), let’s make it title vs. career. Puma decks Mundo and holds up the title because it’s on.
Overall Rating: C. They’re firmly into the stretch to build up Ultima Lucha Tres though I’m not sure if they have enough time to set up four hours worth of matches in just two more shows. It’s cool to get to a milestone like the 100th episode but this season, which is now at A YEAR long really needs to wrap up. I’m still liking the show but it’s nothing I’m really looking forward to anymore, which is quite the shame given how much fun it used to be.
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Fenix v Marty is mask v hair.
Fair enough, though I wouldn’t exactly call that a mask match.