Impact Wrestling – July 6, 2017: Let’s Just Call It “The Company That’s Going To Screw Stuff Up”
Date: July 6, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash, D’Angelo Dinero
We’re back stateside and past Slammiversary which saw Alberto El Patron become the new Impact Wrestling World Champion. However, it’s also a new era as the company has rebranded as Global Force Wrestling. In theory the show is still called Impact Wrestling how in depth the changes go remains to be seen. Let’s get to it.
LAX is in the clubhouse and Konnan says they’re bringing the newest member tonight. It’s going to be Alberto isn’t it?
Recap of Slammiversary, making sure to get in that freaking owl.
Here’s Alberto with his brother and father to open things up with a celebration. Apparently his brother is going to be in the ring soon and we’ll get to see how talented this family really is. Alberto praises his father and talks about what it means to be World Champion. If anyone, even if they work for a different company, wants a shot, come get one. Cue Lashley to say the win meant nothing and to promise to build a wall around the family. Dos Caras slaps Lashley in the face but Alberto gets between them. The fight is scheduled for later.
Earlier today, Bruce Prichard yelled at the announcers, telling them to chill out and drop all the drama. Thanks for doing this THREE MONTHS AGO.
Two very large, muscular men known as the Swoll Mates, will be debuting in two weeks.
Caleb Konley vs. Sonjay Dutt
Non-title. Konley takes him into the corner and grabs an early cravate as they don’t seem to have much time. A bodyscissors into a rollup gives Konley two and he smacks Dutt in the jaw for good measure. Konley charges into a pendulum kick in the corner and it’s the tornado DDT to plant him hard. Dutt drops the top rope splash for the pin at 4:47.
Rating: D+. Just a match here with Dutt getting a win to further establish himself as champion. I’m also glad they didn’t make this a title match as Konley hasn’t won a match in the better part of ever and it wouldn’t make a lot of sense to have him get a title shot so soon. Now we need an opponent not named Low Ki to go after the title.
Post match Trevor Lee comes in and drops Dutt before running away with the title. Lee declares himself the new champion.
Grado is back with an American flag and flanked by the Veterans of War and Eddie Edwards. They want to celebrate the Fourth of July in an eight man tag tonight because they’re proud to be Americans. The four of them leave and a rather rotund man is doing Hindu squats.
Eli Drake/Chris Adonis/Fallah Bahh/Mario Bokara vs. Veterans of War/Eddie Edwards/Grado
Adonis poses at the Swoll Mates on the way to the ring. Drake gets taken into the corner and thrown around by the Veterans of War. Adonis can’t do much with Mayweather so here’s Grado to get beaten into the corner. It’s off to Eddie to kick Bahh off the apron but Mario escapes the Backpack Stunner. Everything breaks down and Grado elbows Bahh out to the floor. The MOAB drops Drake and there’s the middle rope Codebreaker to Adonis. A quick Boston Knee Party ends Adonis at 4:36.
Rating: C-. So that happened. This felt like a way to get as many people into a match as possible in a match with little interest or drama. Eddie getting the win makes sense but I really could have gone for Drake getting put into a feud instead of just toiling in the midcard even more. Use that guy’s talents instead of just letting him flounder.
Post match here’s Joseph Park to give Grado a letter, which really upsets him. Grado leaves with park and isn’t happy.
Braxton Sutter vs. Matt Sydal
Josh says Allie looks like an Easter Bunny and Braxton dresses like that guy from the 90s with three H’s in his name. Super Heavyweight Hardcore Holly? Sutter chops him into the corner and fires off some knees. Something like a reverse Fameasser drops Sutter, followed by a kick to the head. Sydal drops the shooting star press for the pin at 3:17.
Rating: D+. Speaking of wasted talents, the fall (from not that high in the first place) of Sutter and Allie continues. What in the world is the point in having them lose this often when we’re just a few months removed from one of the company’s best moments in years? At least Sydal’s push seems solid enough though and that’s a good thing.
Sutter is frustrated after the loss and doesn’t want Allie around him.
LAX doesn’t say anything new.
JB is in the ring for the announcement of the Super X Cup, an eight person X Division tournament for a big trophy. The eight participants come out and we get the first round matches:
Video on Abraham.
Video on Xavier.
Super X Cup First Round: Idris Abraham vs. Dezmond Xavier
Feeling out process to start with Xavier grabbing a headlock. Xavier starts flipping around until a running boot to the ribs cuts him off. Back from a break with Abraham still in control but a quick cutter takes him down. Xavier sends him face first into the turnbuckle and Abraham is stunned.
Back up and a deadlift German suplex drops Abraham but he kicks Desmond in the head. Not that it really matters as Xavier gets in a kick to the head of his own and Abraham is stunned even more. In a flash back to days of X-Division old, Spiral Tap puts Abraham away at 11:15.
Rating: C+. Fun match here between two guys we haven’t seen around too often. Xavier was entertaining and it was nice to have someone fresh out there. The division is DYING for more talent and these two could be a decent place to start. Do more of this and give them some more time for a change.
Gail Kim has an announcement next week.
Video on Naomichi Marufuji.
Xavier says that finisher was the Final Flash. You’ll see it again. For some reason the interviewer sounded like he was shouting from a long way off.
Moose is ready to defend against Marufuji next week but Ethan Carter III comes in to say he deserves a shot. Moose tells him to go to the back of the line.
Rebel vs. Sienna
Non-title. Sienna throws her against the ropes to start and starts in with some hard kicks to the head. A charge misses in the corner but Sienna easily counters a handspring elbow into a German suplex. Sienna gets two off a Samoan drop but Rebel knocks her into the corner for some running knees and elbows. The handspring splash staggers Sienna but Rebel dives onto KM. Back in and Sienna rolls her into the guillotine choke for the tap at 3:16.
Rating: D. Rebel may be rather fetching at times but she’s not all that great in the ring. To be fair though this was only designed to be a squash so there’s not much to get out of it. Sienna needs challengers and odds are that’s going to be Gail before her retirement later in the year. Not a good match with time working against it.
The announcers run down next week’s card.
GFW/Impact Wrestling World Title Alberto El Patron vs. Bobby Lashley
Lashley is challenging and strikes away to start, knocking Alberto outside in the process. The champ gets sent into the steps and another hard whip sends him into the steps. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Alberto is backdropped to the floor, nearly hitting the post as we take a break.
Back with Alberto fighting out of another chinlock and firing off the kicks to the legs and a shot to the head. A big powerbomb plants the champ for two and Lashley is already starting to get frustrated. There’s the Codebreaker to the arm but Lashley cuts him off with a spinebuster.
Alberto kicks him in the face though and gets two off a middle rope double stomp to the back. Lashley shrugs it off and sends the champ into the corner for a double stomp of his own, followed by the spear for no cover. Instead it’s the Dominator but Lashley still won’t cover. Not that it matters as LAX comes in to go after Lashley for the DQ at 15:03.
Rating: B-. This was as good as it was going to get though I’m not sure on having the new champ get beaten down this much. Also, Lashley needs to wrap up this feud and go on to do anything else for awhile. He’s been in the title picture for too long and they need to bring in some fresh blood for a change.
Konnan says Alberto is the newest member of the team, though he’s out of it and doesn’t acknowledge the announcement. They hold up his arm to end the show. Alberto didn’t agree or pose with them or anything that would make this official.
Overall Rating: C-. If this was supposed to be the big new beginning, it really didn’t come off as such. This felt like any given episode of the show with the GFW name barely being mentioned. Then again I’m not entirely sure even they know what the company is called at this point so you take what you can get.
The wrestling was hit and miss and the big angle at the end didn’t do much for me, though at least it feels new. The X-Division getting more attention is nice, but it doesn’t matter if it goes as it has so many times in the past (starts hot, fizzles in a hurry). It’s not a bad show but they already seem to have lost the momentum and good energy that they had from the pay per view, which might be a record even for them.
Sonjay Dutt b. Caleb Konley – Top rope splash
Eddie Edwards/Grado/Veterans of War b. Fallah Bahh/Mario Bokara/Chris Adonis/Eli Drake – Boston Knee Party to Adonis
Matt Sydal b. Braxton Sutter – Shooting Star Press
Dezmond Xavier b. Idris Abraham – Final Flash
Sienna b. Rebel – Guillotine choke
Lashley b. Alberto El Patron via DQ when LAX interfered
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