Ring of Honor TV – July 11, 2018: Erg Times All
IMG Credit: Ring of Honor Wrestling
Ring of Honor
Date: July 11, 2018
Location: Hammerstein Ballroom, New York City, New York
Commentators: Ian Riccaboni, Colt Cabana
It’s another non-storyline advancing week as they’re still not all the way to Best in the World in the taping cycle. Assuming this is the final week before we catch up, we’re only going to be three weeks behind so they’re getting better. Tonight is going to be about some international talent being brought in, as tends to be the case around here. Let’s get to it.
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
Cody, in a white suit, talks about hearing stories of marauders leaving one man behind to tell the story. That’s what he plans to do with Titan tonight, so he can go back to CMLL to continue the partnership with Ring of Honor, in case they want to see someone bigger. Brandi: “No one is bigger than you.”
Opening sequence.
Sumie Sakai/Stella Grey vs. Gabby Ortiz/Riley Shepard
Riley is making her debut and trained with Ortiz. That means a comparison to the Godfather and D’Lo Brown. Ian: “Of course that’s who you think of!” Stella armbars Shepard down to start and Sakai comes in with a dropkick to the ribs. A Hennig necksnap into a basement dropkick get two on Grey and it’s a double Russian legsweep to keep her in trouble.
Back from a break with Stella suplexing Ortiz so Sakai can come in with the Mongolian chops. Everything breaks down and Sakai scores with a double clothesline. A neckbreaker gets two on Shepard but Ortiz runs back in with a DDT. Stella comes back in with a spear and Smash Mouse gives Sakai the Shepard at 7:49.
Rating: D+. Perfectly acceptable from a wrestling standpoint but I STILL DON’T KNOW WHO THESE PEOPLE ARE! Tell me something about them. Does Stella have a pet hamster named Knuckles? Is Ortiz a part time spelunker? How many pieces of Gilligan’s Island memorabilia does Shepard own? Tell me something other than where these people trained because the vast majority of the division is just a revolving door at this point.
Recap of Cheeseburger vs. Bully Ray, who I’m sure will be booed in his hometown.
Cheeseburger vs. Bully Ray
Street fight and Cheeseburger makes himself look even worse by wearing a cowboy hat. Ray runs down and low blows Cheeseburger from behind before the bell. The fans actually chant for Cheeseburger, much to my shock. Then again New York fans never did make a ton of sense. The weapons are brought in quickly so the fans chant for ECW. That sounds like pro-Ray to me.
Another low blow has Cheeseburger in trouble and Ray shoves former ROH owner Cary Silkin. They get inside for the first time so Cheeseburger can be put in the Tree of Woe with Ray standing on his crotch. A gorilla press and a kendo stick shot send us to a break. Back with Cheeseburger firing off the kendo stick shows for a comeback until a release powerbomb puts him down again.
The fans want tables but have to settle for Ray whipping Cheeseburger with a chain. The referee tries to intervene so Ray whips him as well, drawing Colt Cabana out of the announcers’ booth to spear Ray down. Some chain shots have Ray in trouble and Cabana hands Cheeseburger the cheese grater for a shot between the legs. Cabana leaves so Ray suplexes the heck out of Cheeseburger but misses a splash through the table. That gives Cheeseburger a delayed two and here’s BJ Whitmer to tell Cabana to go to the back. A big boot puts Cheeseburger away at 15:03.
Rating: D-. They lost me here when Cheeseburger came out with his stuffed burger and Riccaboni said Cheeseburger was trying to prove he’s not a novelty act. Cheeseburger is the definition of a novelty act and it’s a novelty that got old a long time ago. Ray is a good heel but unfortunately he’s a heel I still agree with. Cabana vs. Ray isn’t the greatest idea in the world but it’s better than Ray vs. Cheeseburger.
It’s back to Coleman’s Pulpit (DANG IT I THOUGHT THIS STUPID THING WAS OVER!) with the Kingdom as his guests. They give him a Melvin hat and offer him some wine, which he declines. Vinny Marseglia freaks Coleman out but he manages to ask about next week’s gauntlet match. Matt Taven still claims a conspiracy so Coleman tells a story about an entitled guy he knew, who wrecked his car. The moral is supposed to be about the Kingdom overcoming adversity, but there’s no conspiracy. Yelling ensues and I remember why I really don’t care for any of these people.
So Cal Uncensored wants their Six Man Tag Team Titles back.
The Dawgs need money to hire Shane Taylor so they rob Eli Isom. He only has $6 though so they beat him up as well. That might be the most entertaining those two have ever been.
Cody vs. Titan
Coleman has replaced Cabana on commentary. Oddly enough he’s far more tolerable here than he is in his own segments and sounds more like a human than his bad hosting character. Cody has Brandi and Bernard the Business Bear with him, as usual. Titan cautiously shakes hands but won’t kiss the ring. Hang on a second though as Cody needs to do some pushups. Titan counters with some neck bridges and the CODY chants turn into LUCHA chants.
The first contact sees Cody headlock him down but Titan nips back up. Titan hand walks over Cody but gets kicked in the ribs so Cody can pose. Brandi grabs a leg and Cody gets in a shot from behind as we take a break. Back with Cody going for the mask and hitting Titan in the face in the corner. Titan scores with a running clothesline and a springboard missile dropkick, followed by a regular one which didn’t seem to connect.
Bernard trips Titan to the floor but Cody hits the bear by mistake. A big springboard moonsault knocks Bernard’s head off and Brandi panics to get it back on. She’s fine enough to throw Cody some hairspray, which allows Cody to kick Titan low. The Beautiful Disaster gets two and Titan kicks him in the face. With nothing else working, Cody hides behind the referee and rips off the mask, setting up a small package for the pin at 8:49.
Rating: D. When Cody is in the theatrical mode, his matches are chores to sit through. Unfortunately that’s what we were getting here and it made what was a pretty short match feel much longer than it should have. As usual, the international talents are more talk than substance as ROH would rather tell us how great these people are than show us in some way. It’s not the worst main event, but it didn’t have any real value.
Overall Rating: D-. That’s one of the worst episodes I’ve ever seen of this show and I can’t say I’m surprised. The wrestling and storylines ranged from bad to non-existent and I’m getting really tired of waiting around on anything important to happen. Oh and next week is about setting up #1 contenders for the Six Man Tag Team Titles, meaning we have to wait until nearly AUGUST for fall out from a pay per view in June. There has to be a better way to do this and it’s getting worse every time we finish a pay per view.
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