Smackdown – August 28, 2018: Five Five Five Five Five Times Less Annoying Than Raw

Smackdown
Date: August 28, 2018
Location: Scotiabank Arena, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

Things continue to chug along around here as we have the continuing stories of AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe and The Miz vs. Daniel Bryan, plus a title match between new Women’s Champion Charlotte and Carmella. The latter could be the most interesting as it seems WWE has already pulled the plug on Becky Lynch’s heel turn and might be giving the spot to Charlotte instead. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s New Day to open the show, complete with Big E. carrying a Stanley Cup full of pancakes. Last week, they won the SmackDown Tag Team Titles and that’s worthy of some hip swiveling. Big E. is now very happy to announce that they are FIVE TIME…and here’s King (yes KING) Booker to cut them off. Woods: “Doth our eyes deceive us?” New Day kneels before him and he’s going to knight them.

They are now Lord Xavier the Wise, Sir Kofi the Brave and Big E. Hang on though as Big E. wants a cool name too. Booker says he already has it though. Big E.: “You just went FULL SAXTON ON ME!” Booker: “Tell me you didn’t just say that.” Booker officially welcomes them to the Five Time Champions Club and the celebration is on, including the Spinarooni. Woods and Kofi do one of their own (Woods’ was better) and Big E. does one, albeit with some help from his partners. The Booker cameo was fun and this was all it needed to be without going long.

The Bar vs. The Colons vs. Good Brothers

The winners face the winners of another triple threat for the right to face New Day at the pay per view. New Day has their own commentary table again as Anderson and Sheamus hit the mat to start. Sheamus can’t do much with him so it’s off to Cesaro, who gets taken into the wrong corner for some double teaming. Primo tags himself in so Anderson sunset flips him, only to have Epico come in for the save.

New Day is busy trading pancakes as the regular announcers talk about World Records. Anderson hits a running kick to the head in the corner but Epico shoves him to the floor. Back from a break with Anderson fighting out of an over the shoulder backbreaker and finally bringing Gallows back in. A pumphandle slam and running splash get two on Cesaro. Everything breaks down and it’s a belly to back suplex/neckbreaker combination to drop Cesaro. Epico saves Primo from the Magic Killer and it’s a double Backstabber to Gallows. Cesaro breaks up the cover though and steals the pin at 10:04.

Rating: C-. New Day didn’t add a thing here as their commentary was only played for about ten seconds combined. We’re likely looking at New Day vs. the Bar at the pay per view and while that’s a good match, it’s not something that I need to ever see again. Get some fresh blood in there already.

In the back, Rusev Day comes in to see Paige, who says they’ll be in the other triple threat match along with Sanity and the Usos. Rusev thanks Lana for getting the opportunity but it was actually Aiden English.

We recap Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte, with Becky’s edited promo which makes her sound like she’s been ripped off instead of snapping.

Here’s Jeff Hardy, with RKO painted on his face, to talk about Randy Orton getting inside his head. Orton has messed with his mind and made him believe that he can fly. We see a clip of last week with Hardy Swanton Bombing Orton through a table. That made Jeff feel rebroken by fate so Orton needs to get out here and finish what he started.

Orton is glad to see Hardy being back to what he truly is but he’s not finished working on Jeff yet. This version is the one that Orton is going to take away. You can call him whatever you want, but all that matters is RK….Jeff: “NO!”. They’re going to be inside the Cell. Egads Jeff is going to die. Orton doesn’t say yes but that seemed official.

Carmella laughs about how she’s beaten Charlotte twice and tonight she completes the trifecta because Charlotte didn’t beat her at Summerslam. She leaves and R-Truth comes in asking which way she went. Tye Dillinger comes in to try and talk him down but Truth thinks that’s good planning. Tye is rather confused and says this is his life.

Naomi vs. Billie Kay

Before the match, Billie says she’s clairvoyant and sees Naomi losing again, just like she lost to Peyton Royce last week. Naomi knocks her down and stands on the hair while dragging Billie around. That seems to annoy Billie more than anything else and she yells a lot, only to get kicked in the head. Naomi bulldogs her into the corner and gets two off a rollup. The kickout sends Naomi’s head through the ropes, where she waits on Peyton to hit her spot and kick her in the head, allowing Billie to get a rollup pin at 1:53.

Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella look at Brie punching the Miz last week and seem rather proud.

Here are Bryan and Brie for a chat. Bryan is tired of Miz acting like he’s not a coward and bragging about his punching. That’s why it was so nice to see Brie come in last week and punch him in the face. Brie talks about how great it was and Bryan says it was also really hot. He can’t wait to see her in the mixed tag but here are Andrade Cien Almas and Zelina Vega to interrupt.

Vega brags about Almas and thinks that since Miz has already outsmarted Bryan, it’s time for Almas to outwrestle him. Almas says he’s the only star in this ring so let’s do this right now. Bryan can’t do that, but does ask for someone to come make it for them. Paige eventually does come out and, after catching her breath, makes the match.

Andrade Cien Almas vs. Daniel Bryan

Feeling out process to start with Bryan sending him into the ropes, allowing Almas to hit the tranquilo pose. With Miz and Maryse, in matching AWESOME jerseys, watching in the back, Almas grabs an inverted Gory Stretch before hitting one of the loudest chops I can remember in a long time. Bryan avoids the running knee in the corner though and Almas falls to the floor. The running knee from the apron doesn’t miss and Miz and Maryse walk away from the monitor as we take a break.

Back with Almas holding Bryan in a triangle choke over the ropes because Smackdown knows how to do something other than a chinlock. Bryan catches him on top but here’s Miz (no Maryse) for a distraction. A suicide dive takes him out but the distraction lets Almas hit a springboard corkscrew dive. Almas hits an inverted tornado DDT for a close two but the moonsault hits raised boots. The YES Lock has Almas in trouble but Brie has to deal with Vega. Maryse runs in and posts Brie so the hold is broken, allowing Miz to run in for the DQ at 9:25.

Rating: C+. We’ll call the ending a pleasant surprise as I was fully expecting Almas to tap there. Almas doesn’t need to be losing big matches like that over and over again so protecting him is a good sign. Now just give him a win or two and maybe we’ll see someone get elevated towards the top of the card.

Post match Almas hits the Hammerlock DDT and Miz Crossfaces Bryan. With Bryan helpless, Brie takes the running knees from Vega and a DDT from Maryse. The Skull Crushing Finale plants Bryan and Miz kisses Maryse.

Charlotte is sick of being blamed for Becky not being able to win the big one. She’s worked hard to get here and Becky can have the spotlight, after Charlotte takes care of Carmella.

Here’s AJ Styles to discuss Samoa Joe attacking him again last week. The rematch is official for Hell in a Cell (not announced as being inside the Cell) and AJ admits that Joe is great with the mind games. Why can’t Joe just come face him like a man though? It’s because Joe isn’t a man and the mind games are going to end right here, right now. AJ doesn’t have to wait for their match so Joe can get out here right now.

Joe pops up on the screen and is standing in the parking lot. He calls AJ’s wife and asks how “our” little Annie (AJ’s daughter) is. He knows why Wendy is angry and says he’ll keep the promise that AJ never kept. Make sure to save him a plate at the back to school barbecue next Sunday and maybe he’ll stop by next Tuesday. More good stuff here, as you had to expect.

Hardy vs. Orton is confirmed in the Cell.

AJ is running through the back to find Joe and nearly knocks out a production guy.

Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Carmella

Charlotte is defending and they have a lot of time. Carmella gets two off a rollup as the fans are already asking for Becky. A headlock keeps Charlotte in trouble so she suplexes Carmella down, which at least quiets the BECKY chants for now. The moonsault takes too long to set up though and Charlotte gets shoved into the barricade. Carmella hits the suicide dive for two and we take a break.

Back with Carmella hitting a headscissors and shouting a lot, as is her custom. Charlotte gets kicked in the chest but rolls through a high crossbody for one. The champ goes up but gets pulled back down in a pretty good looking super hurricanrana. Carmella slaps her in the back and screams a lot, followed by a pair of not very superkicks for two. Charlotte shrugs it off and hits a spear, followed by Natural Selection. The Figure Eight goes on and Carmella finally taps at 13:02.

Rating: D+. As usual, I have no reason to buy Carmella getting in any kind of offense on Charlotte but that’s what we’re stuck with. Thankfully Carmella lost clean here and we can get away from her for a bit. She’s fine as a short term champion but the four month title reign and seeing her ruin Asuka was WAY too much from here. Now we can move on to the better stuff and I think you know what’s coming.

Post match here’s Becky to jump Charlotte (to some loud cheers) and says she’s getting the title back at Hell in a Cell, “you b****”. Becky leaves and we get a bunch of replays to fill in the show as it feels like they went home way too early. That was more full on heel from Becky (and it went about as well as the other stuff) so I’m not sure what was up with that edited promo last week.

Overall Rating: B. Smackdown is just a fun show and that was the case here. They kept things moving with nothing really dragging and advanced some stories that I want to see. I’m curious about why Joe vs. AJ isn’t worthy of the Cell but Orton vs. Hardy is. They could do a bit better with their pay per view choices but at least the TV is good and they’re setting up stuff that could go in some interesting directions. Nice work this week.

Results

The Bar b. The Colons and Good Brothers – Double Backstabber to Gallows

Billie Kay b. Naomi – Rollup

Daniel Bryan b. Andrade Cien Almas via DQ when Miz interfered

Charlotte b. Carmella – Figure Eight

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