Monday Night Raw – July 5, 1999: History Begins

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 5, 1999
Location: Crown Coliseum, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Attendance: 8,227
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

So Austin is the champion again and that means it’s…well it’s probably exactly the same thing that we’ve been having for months now but with a different champion at the top. Honestly you can never guess what’s coming on these insane shows but I have a feeling Vince McMahon is going to be up to some shenanigans. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s title change. You can hear the ratings climbing again. Undertaker wants a First Blood rematch. I’m guessing he requested that on Heat?

Opening sequence.

Here’s Austin to open things up. He may have been bleeding last week but he got the job done. Vince McMahon may have spent four months trying to take the WWF Title away from Austin but last week he crumpled those plans up and put them….uh….well you get the idea. The First Blood match is on for Fully Loaded and he hasn’t forgotten Undertaker busting him open last year against Kane.

Cue Vince to say that’s not happening. Austin cuts him off by saying his hair isn’t so good and Vince has 15,000 people calling him an a******. One of them has to go and go for good and Vince is willing to bet on the Undertaker to get rid of Austin. He’ll even let Austin’s attorneys draw up the contract. The only rules are that if Austin wins, Vince is done with him but if Austin loses, he never gets another title shot ever.

The thought of Austin as the champion makes Vince want to vomit and something has to be done about him. Either way, this is going to be the end of an era and if Austin wins, Vince is gone for good. Austin says deal, just so he can get rid of Vince. This was kind of long (standard around here) and there has to be something up on Vince’s part, which is the whole point of the thing.

Rock is cool with the idea of being locked in a cage with HHH because HHH is nothing to be scared of. Before he goes any further though, Michael Cole’s face needs to be covered by Rock’s new shirt. I mean, he’s got a point. Anyway HHH doesn’t know what he’s in for tonight because Rock emits electricity. As for Billy Gunn (To Cole: “Keep your head still jabroni.”), he’s still nothing so Rock is here to electrify as only he can. The energy is there but he doesn’t have his classic cadence just yet.

Tag Team Titles: Acolytes vs. Hardy Boyz

The Hardys are challenging and have Michael Hayes in their corner. Bradshaw is coming in with a bad neck after taking a Tombstone onto the steps last night. It’s a brawl to start with the Hardys’ dives before the bell not working so well. Jeff gets sent into the steps but Matt grabs a neckbreaker to put Faarooq down. The top rope splash/legdrop combination gets two but Faarooq plants Matt with a spinebuster.

Bradshaw comes in and hammers away, including catching Matt’s high crossbody. Jeff is right there with a dropkick to Matt’s back to knock both of them down so Faarooq comes in to beat Jeff down as well. A DDT gets two of Faarooq though and Jeff kicks Bradshaw in the face. That just earns Matt a Clothesline for two as the champs just can’t get rid of these guys. Everything breaks down and Hayes throws Jeff his cane to crack Bradshaw in the head. Matt’s tornado DDT is good for the pin and the titles in a huge upset.

Rating: D. The match was all kinds of sloppy but this was one of the biggest upsets in Raw history. I know the Hardys would move on to become one of the most successful teams of all time but at this point they were two nothing guys who were mostly interchangeable with each other. You have to start them somewhere though and maybe the Hardys can go somewhere. Way down the line. If ever.

Post break the Hardys and Hayes can’t believe they won but the feed breaks up, sending us over to GTV where Droz and Prince Albert are in drag with Droz saying it feels sexy. Well that was stupid.

Gangrel vs. Godfather

Gangrel isn’t happy with Godfather, who seemed to let Edge have some of the ladies for helping him out recently. Speaking of the ladies, Godfather has two of them here and one of them is none other than Lita. Actually hang on as Godfather wants Val to come out here, followed by Albert and Droz. Thankfully JR is there to explain that they’re dressed like women due to losing a match to Godfather and Venis. That doesn’t make it better, but at least it’s there. Droz is way too happy to be in the clothes and you can hear Russo laughing from here.

Gangrel jumps Godfather and there’s a clip with Godfather suddenly facing the other way. I wonder how bad that could have been. A spinwheel kick puts Godfather down but Gangrel misses a charge. Godfather misses a legdrop, avoids an elbow, and drops the leg for the pin. What an odd little match.

Post match Albert and Droz jump Godfather and Venis with Gangrel joining in. Edge and Christian come out to ask Gangrel what he’s doing but don’t bother to help Val.

Stephanie tells Test to be careful.

Test vs. Joey Abs

Joey jumps him before the match but gets kicked in the face for his efforts. The gutwrench powerbomb takes Joey down again but here’s Shane dragging Stephanie to the ring as the rest of the Mean Street Posse comes in to beat Test down.

Stephanie has to watch the beatdown. Shane glares at her as he leaves.

Chyna is furious that someone has vandalized her “beloved” car, thinking it was DX. The DX painted on the car would suggest she’s right. She tells the cops that either they can deal with it or she will.

Hardcore Title: Al Snow vs. D’Lo Brown

Brown is challenging and spends a lot of time talking trash, allowing Snow to come in and hit him in the head with a cookie sheet. They head to the floor and into the crowd with Snow breaking a broom over his back. Brown punches him up an escalator with some kid trying to run up the other side and screaming about the fight. Snow falls back down (at least on the proper side) and Brown chokes him with a pay phone. JR: “Somebody better call 1-800-Collect!” Brown: “Next time, call 1-800-Collect!”

They go through another door (thankfully with the camera running up to them instead of being ready for them) where Brown hits him with a shovel. It’s off to catering with Brown hitting the Low Down onto Snow onto a table, which of course doesn’t move because it’s a real table. Brown whips him through a standing table but Mideon pops up for no apparent reason to hit D’Lo and give Snow a breather. Snow puts Brown on a table and uses a forklift to get in the air for a splash to retain.

Rating: D. These matches are still entertaining, even if they’re this stupid. The best parts of the matches is to have them go through the back and see what toys they can find so the phone part was the highlight of the whole shindig. Snow was the most entertaining of the hardcore guys so this was as good as it was going to get. The Mideon thing isn’t likely to go anywhere but that has to happen at least three times a show.

Mideon walks by and looks at Brown.

The cops are looking for X-Pac and Road Dogg and Fink tells them where to go.

Road Dogg vs. Val Venis

So the cops around here suck. Val is banged up from earlier and doesn’t even do his catchphrase. A missed charge lets Val stomp away in the corner and he hits his running knees against the ropes. Val hits the Russian legsweep and hits the hip swivel, setting up a butterfly suplex for two. Dogg is right back with the shaky jabs but here are the cops with X-Pac in handcuffs. They arrest Dogg as well for one of the weirdest no contests you’ll ever see.

Chyna and Billy Gunn are very pleased with these results.

DX is put in the squad car.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Chaz

Chaz is challenging in case you’re rather slow. The fans want puppies but settle for an exchange of wristlocks instead. Chaz gets in a shot in the corner and powerslams Jeff for two. Debra offers the puppies so Chaz’s girlfriend Marianna goes over to yell, allowing Jeff to hit the Stroke to retain in a hurry.

Post match Jarrett goes for the guitar but Thrasher runs in for the save. What a moment.

Edge vs. Big Boss Man

Boss Man powers him into the corner to start but gets drop toeholded down as the pace picks up. A missile dropkick gives Edge two but Boss Man hits a splash for three two’s. Edge is right back with a spear (not a good one either) for the fast pin.

Post match Boss Man hits him with the nightstick and cuffs him to the ropes for a beating. Christian runs in for the save but gets the same treatment as Edge. There is no Gangrel in sight and the post match angle was longer than the match.

Chyna is going to press charges. HHH is ready to beat up Rock but wants to know where it’s going to get him.

Billy Gunn vs. Meat

Chyna and PMS are here too. Gunn jumps him before the bell but Meat hits a layout F5 for two. Not that it matters as a Jackhammer sets up the Fameasser (with Gunn getting a heck of a jump) for the pin.

Post match Jacqueline yells at Gunn and gets dropped by Chyna. Gunn spray paints Ryan Shamrock (JR: “This spray painting idea is really original.”) and Chyna helps him do the same to Jacqueline and Meat, with JR thinking Chyna might have painted her own car while making more NWO references. This is another story that feels like it has a bunch of twists and turns, including starting and paying off a twist in the span of forty minutes.

Kane vs. Big Show/Hardcore Holly

Holly tells Show to start for the team so Kane dropkicks Show in the chest, only to be powerslammed for his efforts. Now Holly is willing to come in to pound away in the corner and dropkick the knee. Cue Undertaker and Paul Bearer for a staredown with Show, leaving Kane to chokeslam Holly for the fast pin.

Post match Kan and Undertaker beat Show down. Kane leaves and Undertaker chairs Show in the head as Kane isn’t sure what to do.

HHH vs. The Rock

Inside a cage with escape only. They slug it out to start with Rock getting the better of it until a kick to the ribs cuts him off. Some right hands in the corner keep Rock down but he gets in a kick of his own. Stomping ensues but the jumping knee to the face takes Rock down. HHH goes for the door but would rather get some handcuffs from Chyna to hit Rock in the head. A low blow prevents Rock from being attached to the cage but HHH is right back with a swinging neckbreaker.

It’s still too early for HHH to get out though and it’s something like an armdrag off the top of the cage. Rock goes for the door but of course Chyna shoves the referee down, slams the door on Rock’s head, gets called a Jezebel by JR, and gets inside to help HHH out. Rock follows him though and things keep going because there’s no referee. HHH gets catapulted into the cage and they head back inside as the match pretty much restarts.

A few rams into the cage and a DDT have HHH in trouble, followed by a top rope ax handle of all things. HHH is back up and hits a hard clothesline but takes too long getting up. They both wind up on top for the slugout until Chyna hands HHH a chair for a hard shot to the head. For no logical reason, HHH comes back inside and crotches himself on the ropes, leaving Rock to climb down for the win.

Rating: C-. This was a pretty messy match and felt more like a big time house show match than a TV main event. That being said, Rock vs. HHH is always worth at least a look and that was the case again here. Rock winning is fine as a way to send the fans home happy and HHH technically won so he has a bragging point for later.

Post match here’s Gunn for a Fameasser to Rock on the floor and a double beatdown ends the show.

Overall Rating: D. As usual, there’s no much going on here that it’s almost impossible to keep track of everything going on. They set up the title match for the pay per view but other than that, it’s a bunch of stuff that feels like it’s being thrown at the wall instead of trying to have anything coherent going on. In other words, it’s very Russo. The title change would wind up being historic but there was no knowing what it would mean at this point. Overall there are worse shows from the era, but the DX angle isn’t working and the wrestling was barely there, as always.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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