Monday Night Raw – April 12, 1993: The Goon Has Been Vindicated
Monday Night Raw
Date: April 12, 1993
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, Rob Bartlett
We’re back with the post-Wrestlemania stuff this week and that means the show almost has to be better than last time. This week’s show is headlined by Money Inc. vs. the Bushwhackers because this is one of the darkest times the show has ever seen. Hopefully it’s better this time around but I wouldn’t get my hopes up. Let’s get to it.
Money Inc. pays off the Beverly Brothers for information about the Steiner Brothers. The report: they can suplex, they’re fast and they’re strong. Oh and avoid the Frankensteiner. How did DiBiase get rich with this kind of bad investments?
IRS vs. Scott Steiner
If they’ve already changed the advertised match to something else, imagine how bad the original plans were going to be. Since it’s tax season, IRS keeps his PAY YOUR TAXES speech short this week. IRS bails straight to the ropes to get out of a hammerlock as Bartlett gets into a discussion of toothpaste being thicker than blood. A good looking powerslam plants IRS but Scott stops to yell at DiBiase and that’s enough for a breather.
Back in and Scott shoulders him down, setting up an armbar as IRS can’t keep up on the mat (Michigan beats Syracuse I guess). The announcers make tax jokes (the height of 1993 comedy) as Steiner gets two off a suplex. IRS elbows him to the floor where DiBiase gets in a clothesline as we take a break.
Back with IRS hitting a piledriver for two and the chinlock going on. And staying on for a long time actually, because that’s how you want an opener to go. IRS gets a backbreaker but takes WAY too long going up top for the jump straight into a raised boot, making it look even dumber than usual. Scott starts slugging away and even snaps IRS’ throat across the top with his tie. The tiger bomb connects but DiBiase comes in for the DQ.
Rating: D+. That chinlock really hurt things but the bigger problem is this match getting so much time. Their tag matches would be better but the singles matches don’t exactly have a spark. It’s almost like a wrestling tax man isn’t the kind of gimmick you want in a longer match. Just dull for the most part, which is quite a long time for a match getting this long.
Post match the Beverly Brothers come in for the double team but clothesline DiBiase by mistake. Shoving ensues and DiBiase wants his money back. Money Inc. goes to leave and gets jumped from behind. I guess this is a face turn, even though the Beverlies were leaving within a month at the most.
Tatanka vs. Von Krus
Von Krus is better known as Vito and is from just Germany. He spits at Tatanka’s feet to start so it’s a monkey flip and hiptoss to put him down. Cue Doink the Clown to spray water out of his umbrella as Tatanka gets poked in the eye. Some chops get Tatanka out of trouble and there’s the big jumping elbow. Krus hits an elbow of his own, this time to the jaw, followed by a headbutt. A backdrop gets Tatanka out of the already limited trouble and it’s off to the warpath, capped off by the Papoose To Go for the pin.
Rating: D. This was just barely a squash as Krus got in some offense to make the match go on a little longer than you would have guessed. Tatanka was still undefeated at this point and you would think that would lead somewhere at some point. It would still be a few months before that would be the case, but it wasn’t like he had the highest ceiling in the world.
Wrestlemania report, with both title changes being announced. Not the best idea in the world when you’re still selling the replay. Double Doink and Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez get some attention as well. You would think some of the actual good things would be mentioned here but that’s not the WWF style in 1993.
For reasons I don’t want to imagine, Bartlett gets to do an interview with Luna Vachon, who seems to scare the heck out of him. Ok fair enough. She’s the woman of the 90s and the true balance between genius and insanity. A few insults to Sherri bring her out for some yelling of her own. Luna says she’s a woman of the wild and promises to wipe Sherri across the ring like a fine Picasso.
The fight is on and clothes ripping ensues, including Bartlett’s, sending him running off. This goes on for a while with the fight heading into into the crowd until Sgt. Slaughter and Savage break it up. Post break, Luna comes back and loses more clothes (Savage: “OH YEAH!”). I want to see these two fight, which I never would have expected. Also, this is way further with the exposed skin than you usually get at this point.
Papa Shango vs. Scott Taylor
Fink calls him Skip for some reason. Taylor that is, not Shango. Some right hands and a dropkick just annoy Shango so he drops Taylor with a belly to back. A headbutt to the ribs keeps Taylor in trouble as Bartlett staggers back out and faints at commentary. Shango finishes with a shoulderbreaker.
Friar Ferguson vs. Chris Duffy
Yes he’s a wrestling monk who would go on to become Bastion Booger. Duffy gets shoved down to start and backdropped out of a piledriver attempt. Hold on though as Ferguson has to stop to pray. Duffy tries to slingshot him inside but gets tossed to the floor instead. Ferguson pulls up his robe to dance a bit and gets two off a splash, pulling up for some reason. A nerve hold continues this way too long squash. Back up and Duffy tries a sunset flip so Ferguson sits on his chest for the pin.
Rating: F. I know we talk about the Goon, Duke Droese and Aldo Montoya as the worst gimmicks of all time. Let me say this again though: HE’S A WRESTLING DANCING MONK! What in the world were the ideas that DIDN’T make air? This is one of those so terrible it’s forgotten ideas and you can see why.
Here are some fan interviews from Wrestlemania. The gist of it: shouting whatever country they’re from.
Money Inc. is ready for the Beverly Brothers next week so here are the Beverlies to jump them from behind to end the show.
Overall Rating: D-. I still can’t get over the monk thing. They’re still in the post Wrestlemania lull, which you have to expect for a few weeks. There isn’t much going on at the moment and that’s fine considering the big stars aren’t actually back yet. However, there’s a point where you have to have something actually good on the show, but that didn’t happen here.
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