Party Hard Wrestling Partymania III: Turn Out The Lights
IMG Credit: Party Hard Wrestling
Partymania III
Date: January 25, 2019
Location: The Nile, Mesa, Arizona
So here’s one you’ve probably never heard of, though somehow it’s the second show I’ve done from this same venue this year. This is from Party Hard Wrestling, which is one of the roughly 438 indy promotions with shows available on Independentwrestling.TV. I got a twenty day free trial so I thought I’d try some very random ones and see what they had. Let’s get to it.
Believe it or not, I have no idea what to expect, what’s going on or who these people are.
Opening sequence, with a song saying I WANT TO PARTY WITH YOU over and over.
Pizza Party Battle Royal
Jody Summers, Gourdin, Bradley Banister, Lucha Starr, Tank Engine Thomas, Macho Mouse, Thugnificent, Josh Carey, Ana May, Pete The Heat, Esgrima Gomez, JB2
It’s a battle royal but after each person is eliminated, they go to a table and get a pizza box containing further instructions. The prize to the winner: a golden fanny pack. Well what else were you expecting? As is the case with most low level indies, I can barely understand the entrances (thank goodness for lists of wrestlers on the title screen). There are a lot of masked men in this and I’m not sure which is which, save for some quick words from the announcer when he comes in clearly enough.
Thugnificent has a title on a chain around his neck. Gomez is in fencing gear for some reason and JB2 is Slater from Saved By The Bell, down to being billed from Bayside. And….there is no commentary on this show so I’m going to be even more lost than usual. Everyone gangs up on Thomas (the biggest guy in the match) to get rid of him, meaning we can get to the traditional fighting on the ropes.
Hang on though as Thomas’ further instructions are to GO BACK IN. Thomas: “THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!” Thugnificent grabs May (the only woman in the match) by the hair and tells her to say something else. Instead she hits him in the face as the regular battle royal brawling goes on around them. May punches Thugnificent out, with him shouting that she is on steroids. Hang on though as Thugnificent’s box also says go back in. We could be here for a long time at this rate.
Thugnificent gets put out again and I’m assuming this one is for good. Macho Mouse is tossed with Ana following him a few seconds later. Gourdin is out and Ana’s pizza box says she’s out. Gomez is tossed and both his and Gourdin’s boxes say they’re out. Summers and Banister are out but both get to go back in, as does Starr. Carey is tossed and he’s out for good. JB2 gets tossed with Banister following him out, as I’m trying as hard as I can to keep track of who is left.
Pete is out as JB2 is back in and Thomas eliminates Gomez, leaving us with Thomas, JB2 and Summers (I think that’s it at least.). All boxes have been delivered so it’s now just a regular battle royal. Thomas tosses JB2 and the rather tall Summers’ forearms have no effect. Naturally he leverages Thomas out a few seconds later for the win at 10:06.
Rating: D. Oh I’m in for a long one here. The camera work is a near nightmare as everything seems to be filmed on a handheld camera with nothing but closeups for the whole match. The lack of commentary isn’t helping either as I could barely keep track of who was in and who was going back in. This might have worked with a lot more structure, but what we had was so all over the place that it didn’t work.
Summers can’t believe he won and JB2 celebrates with him.
EJ Sparks vs. Spyder
EJ dances to the ring and seems to be the fun character. Spyder, with some weird triangle shaped sunglasses that he’ll be wrestling in, jumps him before the bell. The fans respond with a HEY! WE WANT SOME EJ chants as Spyder kicks him in the back. They get inside for the opening bell and EJ hits a jumping middle rope kick to the ribs to take over. The referee wants things to settle down and Spyder hits a Backstabber.
An uppercut to the back gets two and you can hear what sounds like a three year old with the WE WANT SOME EJ chant for a rather adorable moment. Spyder’s suplex gets two and he yells at the referee before hitting a running basement dropkick in the corner. Spyder says it’s time to go to sleep but EJ hits a jumping enziguri. A belly to back faceplant gets two but Spyder grabs the referee to get in a low blow. Spyder Rolls the Dice for the pin at 5:42.
Rating: D+. Neither of these two were even somewhat impressive as the only thing that stood out was Spyder’s glasses. Sparks seems fine for a fun character and the fans like him but it’s not like he’s doing anything that hasn’t been done better elsewhere. Spyder can swear a lot but neither of them were impressive in the ring. This show isn’t getting off to a good start and I don’t think I see it getting better.
Lethal Injection vs. Arrow Club vs. Team AF vs. Lunar Patrol
Elimination rules for the #1 contendership to the Tag Team Titles. This show really doesn’t need another multi person match right now. Since the audio isn’t great, I have no idea what their individual names are and it’s going to be hard enough to remember which team is which. Lethal Injection seem to be the only heels here. Since there are no individual names, we’ll go with Lethal 1 and AF 1 start things off, with AF 1 dancing a lot and giving Lethal 1 a quick spank.
After a lot of dancing, Lethal 1 grabs a wristlock but gets pulled into a waistlock for more dancing. Let’s do a quick summary of the next few seconds: headlock, dancing, shoulder, dancing, hiptoss, dancing, more dancing, neckbreaker, two. It’s off to AF 2 vs. the male member of the Lunar Patrol, the latter of whom seems to be wrestling at half speed. I’m not sure if it’s intentional and supposed to tie into the different gravity on the moon, but it’s really annoying.
Arrow 1 (the woman) and the female Patrol comes in with Arrow 1 grabbing a quick bearhug. That’s broken up so Lunar woman hits a headscissors. Lethal 2 tags himself in and shoves Arrow 1, who shoves him right back. AF 1 finds this HILARIOUS and it’s off to Arrow 2, who loudly shouts to suck his tomahawk. That earns him a hard chop but he’s right back with an even harder one, followed by a double hand chop for good measure. This is HIS reservation you see, though Lethal has some reservations about that and clotheslines him to the floor.
Almost everyone gets sent outside and AF 1 hits a suicide dive. Lunar 2 dives off the top onto everyone as well, leaving AF 2 to load up a dive of his own. Lethal Force double elbows him down though and we settle back into a regular (as regular as a four way can be) structure. A double back elbow sets up an assisted splash for two but AF 2 jawbreaks his way to freedom. Arrow 1 comes in off the hot tag but gets dropped with a double Regal Cutter.
The Lethals stop to flip off the crowd, allowing Arrow 1 to suplex both of them down. Lunar Patrol comes in and sends the Lethals into each other, setting up the female Luna with a rollup to get rid of them at 12:44. The Arrows hit a Russian legsweep/big boot combination for two on the female Lunar with the male Lunar making the save. That just gets him stomped down into the corner but the Lunars double bulldog Arrow 1 for two.
The Lunars get the Arrows into quickly broken stereo Rings of Saturn….as the female Lunar seems to go into a fit in the corner. She shouts that IT WON’T STOP as the Arrows launch the male Lunar into a German suplex for the double pin at 15:15. We’re down to AF vs. Arrow Club for the title shot, with the female Lunar screaming as she leaves. She yells at her partner and stomps him before leaving on her own as we seem to have a bit of insanity.
AF 2 and Arrow 1 slug it out with Arrow’s delayed vertical suplex being broken up with a knee to the head. Arrow 2 comes in for a wheelbarrow suplex into a cutter, followed by a spinning powerbomb for two. It’s off to AF 1 for some superkicks though, setting up a pumphandle powerslam on Arrow 2. AF hits a top rope splash for the pin and the title shot at 18:08.
Rating: C. Match of the night here, despite having no idea who any of these people were. The teams had unique enough gimmicks but they didn’t exactly do anything to make them stand out, save for the cringe inducing tomahawk line. The wrestling was nothing that hadn’t been done better before, but given the circumstances, this was perfectly watchable and didn’t feel long.
We go to the female Lunar’s apartment where the male Lunar comes in to check on her. She screams at him that they keep losing and it’s all his fault as the screen cuts to black. Could be interesting.
LJ Ramos vs. Starlos
Falls Count Anywhere. Ramos (who thankfully has an LJ hat on) comes to the ring in a half clown mask. Starlos is a bit bigger (with 305 on his vest) and the fight starts on the floor in a hurry, as should be the case in a gimmick match like this. They fight over by the merch tables and bar with Starlos stopping for a drink. I believe we get the opening bell as the fans want to know where the referee is. Did anyone check the bar?
Starlos throws him into and then hits him with some chairs before it’s into the ring for the first time. Ramos gets in a few right hands but Starlos crushes him with a splash. The near fall is enough for Starlos to yell at the referee for not being out in the crowd earlier. Some more right hands gives Ramos two as the pace slows down a lot. A running hip attack in the corner hits Starlos and it’s time to go outside again.
Starlos gets posted but avoids a chair shot, only to have Ramos slug away back inside. A sitout powerbomb gets two and a slam Starlos slams him onto a chair. The big elbow only hits chair though and Ramos grabs a double arm DDT onto the chair for a big crash. Ramos can’t cover though and Starlos rolls outside to save himself. With the chair not working, Ramos grabs a bat, only to get a chair pelted at his head. Cue Tank Engine Thomas to beat Starlos down though and a bat shot to the head gives Ramos the pin at 10:41.
Rating: D. I wasn’t feeling this one as it was a low motion fight with the Falls Count Anywhere part not adding much. It would have been fine as a street fight perhaps but I was expecting more from the gimmick. This is also a situation where commentary would have helped as we could have heard why Thomas interfered. I don’t know if it was expected or a surprise and that takes away whatever impact it could have had.
Tag Team Titles: Johnny Savoi/??? vs. Uninvited
The Uninvited (Oliver Grimsley Alex something I can’t make out) are challenging and Alex spits beer in Savoi’s face during the entrances. Savoi doesn’t have a partner to start so the beatdown is on with one VERY excited Alex fan cheering him on. They get inside for the opening bell and it’s a Backstabber into a Codebreaker for a double one finger cover. Cue someone named Jack Jameson to I’LL MAKE A MAN OUT OF YOU from Mulan, making him the most awesome thing on the show so far.
Jameson cleans house and we even go old school with a double noggin knocker. Savoi is back up as well and posts Alex as Jameson works on a wristlock inside. We settle down to Savoi dropping an elbow for two on Grimsley but it’s quickly off to Alex. That means Savoi’s fingers are bent backwards and Grimsley’s elbow to the back of the head gets two. An enziguri hits Grimsley and a Falcon Arrow gives Savoi two of his own.
Jameson shouts for a tag, even giving Savoi some directions to get to the corner. It’s better than most places you try to get to. The tag goes through but the referee doesn’t see it for one of the classic tag tropes. Alex is right back in with the stomping and the suplex gets two. Like a true heel, Alex reaches Johnny’s hand over for a tag to taunt Jameson rather well. A bit too much trash talking (“Get up you Instagram w****!”) lets Johnny get in a right hand but Alex knocks him right back down.
Alex even yells at the referee in the corner but the power of rhythmic clapping starts Johnny’s comeback. An enziguri drops Alex but Grimsley is back in to knock Jack off the apron just in time. Another enziguri is enough for the hot tag to Jameson and house is cleaned in a hurry. Alex offers a quick low bridge though and it’s Jameson in trouble again. They must have a thing against face comebacks.
Jameson slugs away at Alex until it’s a quick tag off to Grimsley. Savoi low bridges Alex to the floor though and Jameson small packages Grimsley to retain out of nowhere at 12:10. The announcer isn’t sure if that means new champions or the champions retain but Savoi came in with a belt so we’ll say retaining.
Rating: C+. This was more like it as the company seems to be better at tag matches than singles. They told a story here with Savoi needing help and Jameson coming to his rescue, though the very sudden ending wasn’t the best thing they could have done. I’ve seen Grimsley before and he can do more than he did here. Alex was good at cutting off the ring and yelling here and he made me want to see the champs make a comeback. Rather nice match here, at least on a sliding scale.
Post match Alex yells at Grimsley for spending too much time painting his face and the brawl is on. Cue Ramos and Thomas to beat Grimsley down though and a lot of screaming ensues. Alex calls Grimsley selfish and lays him out with a quiet right hand. Grimsley is OFFICIALLY uninvited.
The trio leaves and Grimsley grabs the mic, saying that Alex isn’t Han Solo so he isn’t shooting first. He compares Thomas to Chewbacca and LJ to “Little Jar Jar” and the fans aren’t impressed. Grimsley started the Uninvited and promises to succeed without them. Where was Alex while Grimsley was fighting 2 Cold Scorpio and Adam Cole? Next month he wants Alex in a Loser Leaves Town match with the loser being permanently UNINVITED. The Star Wars stuff was horrible but he picked it up at the end.
Chairizona State Title: Ray Basura vs. Zicky Dice
Basura is defending and has an entourage including two masked men. He also wears a crown and looks like he’s the king of trash (which is what Rey Basura would mean in Spanish) so it’s certainly a unique gimmick. Zicky on the other hand is introduced as the Best Midcard Wrestler In The World. Indeed Basura is billed as the Trash King and I’m oddly fascinated by this guy. He’s even covered in dirt and mud for a nice bonus.
Basura gives him a chance to bow instead of fight but Dice invites him to his crotch. The forearms to Dice’s head start things off as the bespectacled (awesome word) referee can’t handle the stench from Basura. Dice pulls…..some tape out of his mouth? I think? Either way he knocks Basura outside and flip dives onto everyone. They fight up the merch area with Basura slamming him on the floor but Dice gets in a trashcan shot. Shouldn’t that make Basura feel better?
The trashcan goes over Basura’s head and gets hit with a chair as a fan shouts that this is No DQ. I mean, maybe that comes with the CHAIRizona part of the title but they might want to clarify things. Back in and Basura chokes on the ropes and hits some alternating back elbows in the corner. A missed charge lets Zicky get two off a German suplex but Basura gives him a slingshot wheelbarrow suplex for two of his own.
Dice is right back with a bridging northern lights suplex for two more. I never would have guessed that the King of Trash vs. a guy named Zicky Dice would turn into an exchange of suplexes but wrestling can surprise you that way. A powerslam gives Basura another two but he gets caught on top for a superplex.
The minions come in so Dice deals with them in a hurry, sending Basura into the corner to crush them. A triple Cannonball gets two on Basura but he rakes the eyes to slow Dice down. Basura’s chokeslam is broken up (Fan: “YOU AIN’T UNDERTAKER!”) and Zicky plants him for two. Zicky heads up top but gets shoved off by a minion, allowing Basura to hit White Noise to retain at 10:17.
Rating: C-. The gimmicks helped this a lot as Basura is a heck of a unique character and Dice has enough charisma to carry up the fact that he’s overweight and has a rather terrible look. That’s the kind of thing I love to get from a promotion like this as where else can you find a guy named TRASH KING? There’s something cool about that and it’s kind of awesome to see.
Post match the minions crown Basura again.
Mikey vs. Effy vs. Suede Thompson
Dang it with the multi person matches. Mikey runs around the ring and dives into some fans’ arms during his entrance. The fans seem split between Mikey and Suede (who I think I’ve seen before) here and it takes some time to get to the bell. Mikey bails to the floor to get a kiss on the cheek from a fan so Suede goes outside to get one of his own.
Effy goes outside to get is own, but instead pulls a dollar out of his trunks and tells the woman to go get him a Diet Coke. She puts the dollar back in the trunks but Suede shouts that we’re starting. Hold on again though as Suede goes outside and steals a fan’s Smoking Skull Title. That’s going to be on the line and the referee even holds it up….so we can have a second bell. There was no contact in the first three minutes so why not.
Smoking Skull Title: Mikey vs. Effy vs. Suede Thompson
The title is vacant coming in….I guess? It’s a three way test of strength to start, which is the first contact between any of them. That’s broken up and Suede kisses Effy to freak him out. Suede: “Is there a problem?” Mikey and Effy kick him in the ribs and tell him that they respect kisses before kissing him on the cheek. It’s a triple knockdown but none of them can do a nip up, at least not without the referee’s help.
Effy demands that Mikey chop him as hard as he can so Mikey obliges as Suede chills on the floor. Mikey hammers away in the corner and offers a spank when Effy tries a headscissors out of the corner. The referee gets headscissored instead, with Effy’s crotch rubbing against his face for a long time. Suede is back in for the big exchange of rollups and a bunch of near falls. Then the referee gets rolled up for two, with Suede getting two and thinking he won for some reason.
We take an informal crowd poll to determine if it was two or three as this is going WAY too long. Mikey finally starts punching the two of them but misses a top rope splash which took a long time to set up. The fans keep calling Effy “daddy” as he suplexes Mikey for two. Suede is back up with a clothesline for each of them before putting Mikey on top for some back raking. The referee says you can’t do that and it turns into the Thriller Dance as he explains what can’t be done.
In the next convoluted spot, Mikey gets tied in the Tree of Woe with Effy pulling Suede from the floor, meaning their faces wind up in each others’ crotches. Effy’s belly to back gets two on Mikey and a Rough Ryder gets the same on Suede. Mikey goes up top with Effy in front of him, so Suede runs at the corner and climbs onto Effy’s back for a superplex.
It’s Effy back up with a Fameasser for two on Mikey and a reverse Fameasser out of the corner gets the same on Suede. Good grief just END THIS THING already! Suede hits a hanging piledriver on Effy but gets small packaged by Mikey for the pin at 11:00 (or 14:01 if you count the first part).
Rating: D-. This was the kind of match where they might as well have had a big sign over their heads that said COMEDY in bright letters. It was funny in small doses but it went on far too long and just wasn’t funny for the most part. You can do comedy in certain doses but “HAHA THAT LOOKED GAY” gets old in a hurry. It was comedy but not good comedy, which is often a really bad idea, like it was here.
Mikey poses with the skull title…and leaves with it. What a thief.
Party Hard Multiverse Title: Shane Marvel vs. Party Ranger
Marvel is defending and the Ranger is in a knockoff Power Ranger costume. Ranger tries to do a standing backflip during the Big Match Intros but Marvel jumps him from behind and the fight is on in a hurry. A dropkick puts Marvel on the floor and that means a big flip dive. Ranger hits a spinning kick to the head and they head back inside but Marvel rolls back outside to avoid a dive.
Therefore, Ranger flips over the top to take him down again as Marvel doesn’t seem too bright. Ranger has a bunch of fans clear out of their chairs so he can throw Marvel through them. Now that’s just being messy dude. A running shooting star off the balcony makes some glancing contact as the fans chant PARTY HARD. Back in and Marvel kicks the leg out, meaning the target is acquired.
That means some kicks to the leg and a leglock, with Marvel telling a fan to shut their f’ing mouth. Fan: “DON’T YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!” The leg gets crushed on the ropes but Ranger uses the good leg to hit an enziguri. Marvel is right back up and starts tearing at Ranger’s gear (dude that’s probably not cheap), including the mask. A shinbreaker takes Ranger right back down for two and it’s more of the gear being ripped up. With the leg stuff played out, Marvel takes him up top for the superplex and a double knockdown. That one crash, the lesser of the two, shouldn’t get them this close to even.
The mask is torn as Ranger wins a slugout and hits a German suplex. A Pele connects and it’s an ax handle to give Ranger two. What looks to be a reverse fisherman’s buster, the Party Foul, doesn’t work as the knee gives out so Ranger hits him in the face instead. Marvel is back up with a running White Noise for two and a neckbreaker for some trash talking.
Ranger slips out of a curb stomp attempt and sends Marvel into the corner. A shooting star press takes WAY too long to set up (with Marvel nearly standing up before it even launches) and Marvel catches it in a cutter for two. The curb stomp gets the same and the yelling at the referee lets Ranger get his own two off a rollup. Marvel goes right back to the knee though and another curb stomp retains the title at 16:17.
Rating: C+. I got into this one a lot more than I was expecting to as Marvel is a bigger (taller, not overweight) guy and played well against the smaller Ranger. Marvel isn’t a great heel or anything but he played his role here and made the match work. The ripping up different parts of the costume was a change of pace too as everyone goes for the mask most of the time. Good match here and it felt like a bigger deal.
Post match Marvel takes the mask as a trophy. Marvel grabs the mic and tells us to come to the pancake breakfast tomorrow when he massacres someone else. He doesn’t like people who like pancakes so he’ll destroy Mikey tomorrow. That sounds like a train wreck.
We see some clips of the pancake breakfast and…..yeah I’m good.
Overall Rating: D+. This was a VERY indy show and you have to keep something like that in mind for such a show. It’s not the worst I’ve ever seen or really close to it, but the lack of commentary and characters who only stand out at times made it a pretty long watch. The party aspect was rather light here too and the name didn’t do the show much good. This wasn’t a terrible show, but it’s nothing I’m going to want to come back to later.
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