Impact Wrestling – November 5, 2019: They Failed
IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling
Impact Wrestling
Date: November 5, 2019
Location: St. Clair College, Windsor, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews
I don’t know how to say this but the company is on a roll. They had a good Bound For Glory and a rather strong debut on AXS, which seems to actually care about them. That being said, if there is one thing that Impact’s history has taught me it is to never get comfortable with what they are offering as they will instantly make you regret it. Let’s get to it.
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
Opening recap.
Sami Callihan and OVE (complete with a bunch of unnamed lackeys) are drinking beer because they aren’t cowards who drink bubbly. They started a revolution and they are for Ohio, by Ohio.
Opening sequence.
Moose vs. Willie Mack
Moose runs him over with ease to start as we hear about his football career. Again. The discus lariat misses and it’s a headscissors to put Moose down, followed by a hurricanrana to send him outside. That means a running flip dive because some sort of a dive is required in wrestling these days.
Back in and Moose hits some running dropkicks in the corner, followed by a hard whip into another corner. The chokebomb out of the corner gets two but Mack fights up to no sell some forearms to the face. The chop off goes to a stalemate so Moose pokes him in the eye, only to get Stunned for his efforts. Mack’s standing moonsault gets two so he goes up but gets crotched right back down. A superplex drops Mack again and the spear gives Moose the pin at 8:38.
Rating: C. They did their usual stuff here with Mack being a freak of a different nature. Moose is your one of a kind athletic marvel though as he is such a big guy who gets to beat up anyone he wants to in a variety of ways. You don’t get something like that every day and it’s worth giving Moose whatever he wants so he can be around for a long time.
Alisha Edwards is scared about going to dinner with Ace Austin but is told to just enjoy it. She goes through some doors and just so happens to overhear Austin and Reno Scum talking about his rather nefarious plans for her. Alisha is livid.
Hard To Kill is coming to Dallas.
Taya Valkyrie and Madison Rayne trade pop music references to insult their fashion sense. Taya leaves and runs into Jordynne Grace, who wants a title shot. That gets her blown off, as expected.
Watch Turning Point this weekend! I won’t be but the card looks decent.
Michael Elgin vs. Fallah Bahh
They slug it out to start with Bahh no selling some big boots to the face. Elgin tries to jump over him in the corner but gets kicked in the ribs. A running splash in the corner hits Elgin’s raised boots and he falls to the floor for a dropkick through the ropes. Back in and a slingshot double stomp gives Elgin two and he manages a suplex for two as we take a break.
We come back with Elgin muscling him over with a t-bone suplex for two more but Bahh runs him over with a clothesline. Bahh sits on his chest for two but Elgin is back up with a superkick into a great looking German suplex. A superplex drops Bahh…who pops up with a Samoan drop. Bahh goes up, only to get knocked right back down for a crash. The powerbomb and Samoan drop are countered so Elgin rolls around into a Crossface for the tap at 14:03.
Rating: C. This was a hoss fight but it went on about twice as long as it needed to. You can only do the same power displays so often before the impact stops working. That was what happened here and the match wasn’t all that fun by the end. Elgin winning is the right call and thankfully Impact didn’t do anything zany. Also, well done by Bahh for turning into something other than a comedy goof, which I wouldn’t have bet on happening.
Austin comes up to Alisha, who gives him her hotel key and says they’re skipping dinner.
OVE is drunk and comes in to meet….Tommy Dreamer. They make fun of him for being fat and that’s it.
Flashback Moment of the Week: EC3 vs. Moose for the Grand Championship.
The North tells Naomichi Marufuji to find a partner for a Tag Team Title match next week.
Joey Ryan vs. Ken Shamrock
Just get this over with. Shamrock is in workout shorts and running shoes because he doesn’t think much of Ryan. Ryan gets backed up against the ropes and Ken gives him a clean break before snapping off some armdrags. The ankle lock attempt sends Joey to the rope and a dropkick staggers Shamrock. He offers a handshake so Ryan shoves the hand to his crotch for the YouPorn Plex. Shamrock is scared but manages the ankle lock for the win at 4:52.
Rating: F. You have Shamrock, who is pretty close to a legend in wrestling, willing to come in and help you out a little bit and this is what you use him for? To give a spot to Joey Ryan’s comedy bits? The Ryan stuff is dumb enough on its own for about 184 reasons, but they use Shamrock to do it? And Shamrock agreed???
OVE goes into the locker room and try on Daga’s vest. Daga comes in and a fight is teased until Rich Swann breaks it up to give us a main event.
Taya Valkyrie vs. Madison Rayne
Non-title. Madison tries to point out the LRL logo on the back of her trunks….but it’s not there for some reason. Taya kicks her down and hits a basement dropkick before kicking away. The armbar doesn’t last long so Taya stomps away in the corner, only to get drop toeholded into the middle buckle.
Madison gets in some knees and we take a break. Back with John E. Bravo tripping Madison down so Taya can take over again. Something like a Side Effect plants Madison again but she’s right back with a tornado DDT for two. A wind up cutter gets two with Bravo throwing his stuffed dog into the ring for the save. Taya knees her down and hits the Road to Valhalla for the pin at 11:45.
Rating: C. Taya is doing her thing and it seems pretty clear that we’re building up to the fight with Grace. There is nothing wrong with going there and I could go with Grace taking the title. Rayne is fine as well, but it just isn’t all that interesting of a match here. The Taya stuff has been done to death so far and they need to get to the title shot soon, not wait until January.
Post match Grace comes out and suplexes Bravo as Valkyrie bails.
Gama Singh yells at the Desi Hit Squad and brings in Bhurpinder Singh, who could replace one of them if they keep losing.
Ace goes to the hotel.
Rosemary yells at Susie about killing Allie and doesn’t buy the new act. Rosemary leaves and Susie goes up to Havok, who has no idea what is going on.
Bhurpinder Singh vs. Petey Williams
It wouldn’t be a Canadian show without Williams. For a bit of a detail, the referee has no legs. Williams avoids a charge to start and hammers away to send him outside. The slingshot hurricanrana is countered though and Singh drops a legdrop back inside. A Rock Bottom backbreaker sets up a spinout Rock Bottom for two but Williams is right back with a headscissors. Singh grabs a powerslam for two more, only to get caught with a slingshot….nothing as Singh catches him on the shoulders. That’s fine with Petey who slips down and grabs the Sharpshooter for the win at 3:58.
Rating: D+. This would be the match where we have to get these two into a match and I have no idea why we’re supposed to be interested. The Hit Squad continues to grow despite having all of its interest elsewhere, and then you have Petey who is there because of where the show is taking place. This stuff was old years ago and now it’s just a bad tradition.
Post match Singh goes after the referee but Petey makes the save, allowing the referee to hit a 619 into a 450. This is a thing that happened.
Into the hotel room now, where Alisha tells Ace to take it slow. She goes to change so Ace takes off his clothes and even blindfolds himself. Eddie Edwards, fight on the bed, Alisha canes Ace into the hall and, ahem, reunites with Eddie on the floor.
Johnny Swinger recruits Petey to be his young boy. Petey isn’t carrying his bag but here’s OVE to say they’re bringing the party to the ring.
Turning Point rundown the sequel.
Here’s OVE to celebrate in the ring. After a break, Jake Crist has to introduce Sami Callihan twice so Sami can talk about partying all week long. Cue Tommy Dreamer to talk about how Sami is a bully and a troll. Sami: “Fat Dreamer….can I call you Fat Dreamer?” He offers him a fight but Dreamer wants a referee for an EXTREME celebration.
OVE vs. Tessa Blanchard/Rich Swann/Daga/Tommy Dreamer
Anything goes and they start fighting on the floor. Tessa starts swinging a chair and Dreamer uses it for his baseball slide into Jake’s face. Fulton claw sweeps Dreamer onto the chair but gets tornado DDTed by Daga. It’s Sami vs. Swann for a bit with Rich being sent outside, setting up the showdown with Tessa.
A quick cutter drops Sami and Tessa hits the big flip dive to the floor to take everyone out. Back in and the small form Tower of Doom drops Fulton and Swann hits the double Lethal Injection on Sami and Jake. Sami is right back up with an attempted Cactus Special but gets reversed into a rollup to give Swann the pin at 5:51.
Rating: C-. That is some WWE style booking with the brand new World Champion losing in a random eight person tag a week after winning the title. They can cover up a lot of it by saying Sami was tired/drunk but what’s the point of having lackeys if they can’t take a fall here? Oh and I laughed at the Dreamer inclusion, because it’s a running gag at this point.
Overall Rating: D+. They missed on a lot of points here and it was a big step down from last week. Between the Squad/Petey/Dreamer inclusion to the embarrassment of having Shamrock wasted on Ryan, I was having trouble staying interested in this show. It was one bad Impact Wrestling trope after another and that isn’t a good sign a week after their big debut on their upgraded network.
Results
Moose b. Willie Mack – Spear
Michael Elgin b. Fallah Bahh – Crossface
Ken Shamrock b. Joey Ryan – Ankle lock
Taya Valkyrie b. Madison Rayne – Road to Valhalla
Petey Williams b. Thunderbird Singh – Sharpshooter
Tessa Blanchard/Rich Swann/Daga/Tommy Dreamer b. OVE – Rollup to Callihan
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/
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