Monday Night Raw – July 4, 2005: It Happens Every Time

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 4, 2005
Location: ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

We’ll start the second half of the year with this one and that could mean a few things. We’re likely in for a bigger show due to the holiday, but I’m not sure how much effort there is going to be for a show where they know no one is watching. The Draft is over as well so this is your roster for the time being. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Tonight: Carlito’s Cabana with Hulk Hogan.

Opening sequence.

We waste no time in starting with the Cabana. Carlito talks about tonight being all about the Fourth of July and how big of a star Hogan is. We hear about Hogan’s new reality show on VH1 and here he is in a hurry. Carlito cuts off the posing and praises Hogan’s accomplishments. Hogan brings up the reality show but Carlito wants to know why Hogan didn’t bring Brooke with him. That earns a threat of throwing Carlito off the top of the building, so Carlito talks about how hot Brooke is. Carlito: “You say she isn’t sexually active but Carlito would like to…” And then he gets punched in the face, partially because Brooke is 16.

Cue Kurt Angle to say he doesn’t approve of fans praising Shawn Michaels and Ric Flair (in a recent poll) more than him. He made Shawn tap at Wrestlemania, just like he made Hogan tap the last time they faced each other. Now he wants to make Brooke tap, meaning he gets punched as well. The double teaming is on but Shawn runs in for the save. A tag match seems imminent.

Post break, Shawn is in Eric Bischoff’s office to yell about what just happened.

Edge/Snitsky vs. Kane/Big Show

Kane throws Edge into the corner and hammers away to start so it’s off to Snitsky, with Edge getting in a cheap shot to take over. That lasts all of a half second as Show comes in and whips Snitsky all over the place. The threat of a chokeslam sends Edge bailing to the floor and Kane chases Lita to the back as we take a break.

Back with Snitsky working on Show’s leg until the other leg to the face breaks it up in a hurry. It’s not enough for a tag though as Edge gets in another shot to the leg, allowing Snitsky to yell a lot. A double middle rope shoulder gets two on Show with Edge’s eyes bugging out. Show is right back with a double suplex and the hot tag brings in Kane. House is cleaned with the side slam on Snitsky and Edge headbutting Edge from the apron. Back to back corner splashes set up the chokeslam to Snitsky for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a tag match here with Lita being taken away so Edge couldn’t cheat to win as easily. Show probably should have gotten the pin to establish himself a bit more here but it’s not like it matters all that much. Snitsky’s push has come to a grinding halt, but it’s not like it was any secret that it was coming sooner rather than later.

Shawn comes out of Bischoff’s office and the tag match is official for later.

Here are the Heart Throbs to hit on Lilian, who needs some comfort after Viscera dumped her at Vengeance. They’ll make Viscera scream no no no and if Lilian likes what she sees, she can scream low low low.

Viscera vs. Heart Throbs

Lilian cries through Viscera’s entrance. The Throbs get thrown into the corner to start but mange a double shoulder to put Viscera down. Stomping in the corner sets up a crotching against the post….and that’s a DQ to give Viscera the pin.

There has been an eleven person trade between Raw and Smackdown. Chavo Guerrero is now on Raw, who is now bald and has a sweater wrapped around his shoulders. He hasn’t been all that successful and it’s because he’s Hispanic. Therefore, he has renounced his Hispanic heritage and is now Kerwin….White. Oh and Maria is stupid.

Here is the trade:

To Raw

Mark Jindrak

Rene Dupree

Danny Basham

Kenzo Suzuki

Hiroko

Chavo Guerrero

To Smackdown

William Regal

Candice Michelle

Sylvain Grenier

Simon Dean

Steven Richards

The Hurricane, Rosey and Stacy demonstrate how to put out sparklers with Rosey being lit on fire.

John Cena tells Maria to not worry about what someone named Kerwin thinks about her. Cena hits on her a bit and Maria smiles a lot.

Here’s Chris Jericho for the Highlight Reel. He wanted to have a special guest just like Carlito so he has a big music star of his own. That would be John Cena himself and he is very happy to be here. Jericho: “JOHN JOHN JOHN!” Cena: “CHRIS CHRIS CHRIS!” Cena is on a roll right now as WWE Champion and he even has a concert coming up in Philadelphia. Jericho on the other hand was the first Undisputed Champion and has played hundreds of concerts, including at the Download Festival in England. And yes, he does have a clip!

Cena isn’t impressed, so Jericho lists off the bands he played with at the festival. That’s still not enough, so Jericho gets in his face to talk about his legendary status. Jericho says he could take the title from Cena whenever he wanted so Cena gets fired up. The people aren’t stupid because everyone remembers when Raw Was Jericho. Now though, Jericho Is Cheap. Jericho has taken everything he’s done and covered it in cheap sauce. The fight is on with Cena getting the better of it until referees break it up. Cena was showing the fire here and you can see it in his eyes more and more every week.

With the good stuff out of the way, it’s time for Sgt. Slaughter’s Bikini Boot Camp obstacle course for the Diva Search girls. Coach and Christy Hemme are the hosts and bring out Slaughter, followed by the women. We go over the course, which includes jumping jacks, a potato sack, a jump rope and more. The winner gets immunity from being eliminated. Coach demonstrates and gets a time of 48 seconds. The women all go, Leyla falls out of her top and is disqualified, JR and King list off factoids about each, and Elizabeth wins. This ate up over fifteen minutes.

We recap the opening segment.

And now we’re back to the women to see how to vote for them.

Rene Dupree vs. Val Venis

Dupree is announced as part of the BLOCKBUSTER TRADE and promises to prove that he is the greatest specimen to ever set foot in the ring. Venis starts fast with the running knees to the ribs but Dupree pounds him down. A knee lift and backdrop have Dupree in some trouble, only to have him come back with a rollup with feet on the ropes for a fast pin. This was nothing.

Smackdown Rebound.

Angle and Carlito think it would be cool to hurt Shawn and Hogan.

Carlito/Kurt Angle vs. Hulk Hogan/Shawn Michaels

Hogan shoves Carlito away to start so Angle comes in and gets shoved down as well. It’s off to Shawn to work on the arm with an ax handle into an armdrag. The villains switch off again and it’s Shawn armbarring Carlito for a change. Angle comes in again and gets chopped in the corner and everything breaks down for a bit. Shawn and Hogan clear the ring and even dust off their hands as we take a break.

Back with Carlito kneeing Shawn in the back so Angle can hit the overhead belly to belly. Another suplex gives Angle two but Shawn fights out of the chinlock. The dropkick misses but Shawn is fine enough to counter the Angle Slam into a DDT. That’s enough for the hot tag to Hogan and the big boot drops Carlito. A backdrop puts Angle on the floor and it’s the legdrop for the pin.

Rating: C. Totally standard Hogan tag match here and there’s nothing wrong with going that way. It’s the best thing he could do at this point and he still does it well enough. That being said, it was a rather standard and uninteresting match, though Hogan’s comeback will never not work for me. I’m split on Carlito taking the fall as he’s the Intercontinental Champion, but he’s also by far the weakest of the people involved.

Post match a lot of posing ensues….until Shawn superkicks Hogan. The place goes QUIET on that one before some Hogan chants pop up. Shawn stares down at Hogan and the fans aren’t sure what to do as Shawn leaves to end the show. So that worked, and you can pick a few different motivations for Shawn.

Overall Rating: C-. The Cena vs. Jericho and Shawn turn stuff was awesome but the rest of the show was a mixture of bad wrestling and the eternally long Diva Search nonsense. It got more time than any match and while I get the point, it is one of the most annoying things I can ever remember WWE doing. The two big things carried it, but the rest of the show is pretty terrible.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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