Monday Night Raw – August 15, 2005: The Haves And The Have Nots
IMG Credit: WWE
Monday Night Raw
Date: August 15, 2005
Location: Bell Centre, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman
It’s the go home show for Summerslam and that means we need one final push to get everywhere we need to go. This includes a dream match between Kurt Angle and Hulk Hogan, which wasn’t much of a dream when they did it in 2002 but maybe it’s better three years later. Let’s get to it.
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
Here’s Shawn Michaels to get things going and the fans have not forgotten why they hate him around here. Therefore, Shawn is willing to try and smooth things over a bit by belting out his own version of O Canada, with lyrics about how much he hates this place. With that out of the way, Shawn starts talking about memories of Survivor Series 1997 and the fans get even worse. On that day, he handed Bret Hart his most miserable defeat so we get a WE WANT BRET chant. Shawn: “You’re not getting Bret because I screwed Bret!”
Shawn says if Bret had any guts and walked down that ramp tonight, he’d screw Bret again because Bret…..and then Bret’s music plays and Shawn panics. The fans go coconuts as the music keeps playing, only to be cut off with Shawn saying he got their hopes up just a little bit. Now that’s some high quality trolling because the fans bought the possibility of the huge return. Shawn talks about how he is everything the fans wish they could be. He uses his live microphone to do whatever he wants to do.
That’s what Hulk Hogan doesn’t like about him either: he’s unlike anyone Hogan has ever faced. Now it’s Hogan’s music playing and Shawn freaks out again, this time taking off his jacket and dropping to his knees. Then he keels over in laughter, talking about how funny it was to torture the fans like this when he had the production team ready to play the songs. Sure it would be great for one of them to come out here and give him what for. See, Hogan isn’t even here yet because his limo doesn’t get him here until late.
That triggers the Goodbye Song so Shawn has a seat in the ring until the chants die down. Shawn says the people know who runs the show now so he can continue. He can’t wait for Summerslam so he can prove he’s the better man because what he says is real while Hogan doesn’t have a sincere bone in his body. The fans tell him to shut the f*** up so Shawn asks if they teach their kids to speak that way. Hogan can try his one move on Sunday but he’ll find out what happens. Just ask Bret Hart.
This was AMAZING as Shawn took a crowd that didn’t like him and made them want to kill him several times over. Then he made Bret and Hogan look like fools to really hammer things home. It was a perfect example of how to torture the fans and take them wherever you wanted to go while building up more heat for yourself than any writer could ever put together. Incredible stuff here and some of the best heat I’ve seen from a heel promo in years.
Big Show vs. Heart Throbs
I don’t think this will have the same amount of heat. Show shoves them down to start and laughs off their efforts. Both Throbs are shoved around again and their various forearms don’t do much. Some loud chops put both of them down but a gorilla press is cut off with a chop block. The attacks in the corner don’t work either and Show splashes both of them. A double backdrop and a double chokeslam give Show the win.
Rating: D. They did something to get Show back on track but I’m not sure what is next for him. It’s the same trouble that he always has: you know what you’re going to get with him and there is very little that can be done to really heat him up past a certain point. There was nothing to the match of course, but that’s kind of the point.
Here are Eugene and Christy Hemme with Eugene struggling through some French. He issues the Gold Medal challenge and here we go.
Eugene vs. Rene Dupree
Kurt Angle runs in for the DQ at about ten seconds.
Post match Angle destroys Eugene and rants about how much he’s going to do to him to take back the medal on Sunday.
We look back at Carlito and Chris Jericho beating up referee Chad Patton last week until John Cena made the save.
It’s time for part one (!) of the Diva Search finale. We hear about their paths to the final and it’s Elizabeth being eliminated to get us down to Ashley vs. Leyla.
Long video on Matt Hardy vs. Edge. It’s a heck of a story and the match should be intense, but I’m worried about living up to the expectations.
Carlito and Chris Jericho are looking forward to their handicap match with John Cena. Eric Bischoff has an idea to take away Cena’s fan support though: tonight, the three of them are all going to be Canadians. Jericho seems rather confused but tells Carlito to call himself Carlito Canadian Cool. They wrap the Maple Leaf around themselves and it’s all smiles. Carlito: “That’s cool eh?”
Carlito/Chris Jericho vs. John Cena
Bischoff is here as the Canadian flag bearer. Jericho starts for the team but tags out before anything happens. Carlito comes in and gets headlocked for his efforts, followed by a headbutt to the afro. Jericho offers a distraction though and Carlito gets in a few cheap shots, only to walk into the flying shoulder. This time Jericho comes in without a tag so Cena cleans house and puts them both on the floor.
We take a break and come back with Cena in trouble as Jericho kicks him in the ribs. Some right hands from Jericho and some left hands from Carlito keep Cena down but he gets in a suplex for a breather. JR is LOSING IT over the unfairness here, saying that if he loses clean on Sunday then Boomer Sooner to Jericho. Carlito hits a neckbreaker for two and we hit the chinlock.
A spinebuster gets two on Cena and Jericho’s missile dropkick makes it even worse. The apple is spat into Cena’s face and Carlito DDTs him for two. Jericho chokes away in the corner and Carlito wipes himself with the flag, which seems to be enough to fire Cena up again. An enziguri into the Walls have Cena in trouble but he kicks Jericho into Carlito, which apparently counts as a tag. The real comeback is on as Bischoff is nearly breaking the flag at ringside. Cena sends Jericho to the apron and hits the FU on Carlito for the pin because the Intercontinental Champion needs to lose AGAIN.
Rating: C. The wrestling wasn’t great here but the storytelling makes Cena look very strong going into Summerslam. It might have been a better idea to have Cena lose (via cheating of course), because it’s a little hard to get behind Jericho beating Cena on his own when he couldn’t with the help of the Intercontinental Champion. The match was good enough, but I’m not wild on the booking.
Post match Jericho chairs Cena in the face in a scary shot.
It’s time to wrap up the Diva Search. First though, we need a long video on how they got here, because they need to try and make it more important. And Ashley wins, meaning she shouts about how great the fans are.
Edge vs. Val Venis
Lita is here with Edge in the battle of Canadians, meaning Val gets the strongest reaction he’s had in years. Edge pounds him into the corner to start but Val is back with running clotheslines and the knees to the ribs. The gyrating is on for a bit and Val knocks him up the aisle for a bonus. Edge drives him back first into the apron though and Edge puts on a bow and arrow to crank on it even more. Val gets in the comeback until an Edge-O-Matic cuts him right back down. The spear sets up the Edgecator to make Venis tap.
Rating: D. This was just a step above a squash but Venis is always someone who has worked hard in the ring, which was the case this time as well. I guess the submission is to throw a curve at Matt, though the feud has cooled off pretty badly since Matt was officially rehired. It might be good in a way, but it’s nothing compared to what it could have been.
Hurricane and Rob Conway argue over Stacy Keibler.
Hurricane vs. Rob Conway
At what point is your career worse because you’re a Tag Team Champion? Conway suplexes him down into a quickly broken chinlock so he knees Hurricane outside. Back in and a running neckbreaker gets two but Hurricane fights out of a neck crank. It’s too early for the Shining Wizard though and Conway grabs the Ego Trip. The top rope elbow finishes Hurricane.
Rating: D. Conway is trying to do something with this and it is far from a failure of any kind. It wasn’t a good place for this match to take place though as it came after an Edge match and right before Hogan wrestles. It wouldn’t matter what Conway did here because the fans would have forgotten the whole thing. You know, because Hurricane losing is memorable.
Summerslam rundown. I’ve seen better and I’ve seen worse.
Kurt Angle vs. Hulk Hogan
The posing goes on for a long time before the bell and Hogan even catches Angle’s attempted cheap shot. For a bonus, Hogan puts the bandanna and glasses on Angle before punching him again. They head outside with Angle being sent into various steel objects but he’s back with the stomping as they get back inside. The chinlock goes on to keep Hogan in trouble and we get two arm drops for the classic Hogan spot. Angle knees him in the back and hits the Angle Slam, only to trigger the Hulk up. The big boot looks to set up the legdrop but Shawn runs in for the quick DQ.
Rating: D. What else were you expecting here? Hogan can barely move and hasn’t been a regular wrestler in a long time so Angle wasn’t about to suplex him all over the place. The ending was a good touch to things as well as they found a way out without having either of them take a fall. Just….get a bit better wrestling.
Post match Shawn loads up Sweet Chin Music but instead puts on the Sharpshooter to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. Shawn’s classic promo did what it could here but they were running with an anchor. The problem feels like you have the haves and the have nots at the moment, as anyone who isn’t on Summerslam has nothing to do. It doesn’t help that the Intercontinental Champion is just a helper in the boss’ feud with the World Champion and that the Diva Search winner is treated as a bigger star than the Tag Team Champions. It’s going to be nice to get past Summerslam, but I’m worried about what’s next for them.
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